Chapter Text
One of the phases a lot of eggs (unknowing transgender women) go through is imagining as or even working to make themselves into a masculine ideal. The idea that "If I was just this manly/macho/badass then I would be more comfortable in my body and not hate my reflection" and they eventually realize that no, this isn't a solution.
Getting isekai'd was something I hoped for, and as a fan of CYOAs I knew I'd have to take some downsides. Unfortunately, I don't remember doing a build with a certain character ever so I guess all those were just yet another way to procrastinate doing something productive and another way to fantasize and escape reality. I'm getting to how these tie together.
It had been a few weeks since I woke up in the Elemental Nations as one of the peaks of masculinity to ever grace its lands. Despite my starting situation, I still hated this testosterone nightmare I was in. Say what you want about the pure muscle builds of the Raikage and Killer Bee, or the positive and youthful Might Guy, I was a head above them in machismo. Gravelly voice, sick outfit, athletic build many guys would kill for, and finally (and at least a lesbian dream too) a "Big Fuck-Off Greatsword" that cemented itself in nerds worldwide alongside those belonging to Cloud, Guts, and Ichigo.
Momochi Zabuza was an iconic badass despite only losing because he was up against Kakashi, but I can't say I hated his character either. A frightening villain, a badass fighter who struck fear into even the next generation, a man who had a backstory and goal like just about every villain in Naruto that could be expanded on. A vicious killer, an idealist revolutionary, a shitty teacher. Yet another story cut short by the life of shinobi.
I didn't remember the timeline perfectly, but apparently I got graced to "drop-in" many years before canon. I graduated the year after Konoha suffered The Wrath of Kyuubi 2, and had been rocking my ANBU career for about half a decade when the Kaguya clan decided existence was overrated and witnessed that alongside Haku, who I knew for only a few months at that point but was already the closest person to them.
Now I know the most pressing question at this moment may not be about identity, but three weeks is a long time for a shinobi (or kunoichi) to process something, even during a caravan guarding mission and I managed to accept Zabuza's life as my own. Sure, we all make mistakes but trying to separate his actions from my own was simple.
Coming to terms with my current situation was far easier than some other worlds a reincarnator may have to suffer through because it turns out villages nailed some simple cognitive behavioral therapy techniques. This didn't just include coming to terms with a bloody life while being able to switch back to being around civilians. Few successful shinobi suffered PTSD, and the ones who did still were only active because they managed to function enough for missions without abandoning them or their loyalty to their village. Yes, realizing that Konoha's entire roster from Chuunin up likely had a grasp on Kakashi's mental health and could do fuck-all because the man was an absolute machine and his performance meant they couldn't sit him down if he wasn't willing, that was an eye opener.
I'm going on a tangent, I realize, but you have to understand just how smart you get with chakra. Well, maybe that "- think stupid, faster" meme is more accurate. The short of it is that I knew I thought much faster, my perception and comprehension were drastically faster, and my memory was sharper. I also knew my chakra capacity post-isekai was boosted, but it was my control that was now insanely high. If my "cheat ability" was a jump near to the top in capacity and control, I can honestly say I would have taken it. And now here I (and Haku) are, Missing-Nin to a shitty village almost a country away on the fire side of Fire Country.
Speaking of, Haku is doing fine. Fine compared to canon, at least. I won't say I'm about to revolutionize the situation in the world with new theories on gender and sexuality, I'm not a good person and that's far on the backburner because it's not really worth it here. I just bring some new language because it turns out plenty of villages have progressive views, and bigotry based on that is nonexistent (chakra is a miracle worker in some cases). So, Haku? Haku is a pretty smart kid and after a few discussions has come to the current concept of "I only care about gender as a weapon" and frankly I'm here for that terrifying little brat.
Necessity is the mother of invention, and when the transformation jutsu exists then why would trans people need hormones? Well, we still do but no one has figured that out or worked on it because it's low priority for most science-y types. Luckily I managed to muster up with my new super smarts why Naruto's Sexy Jutsu was so unique. Turns out the answer is "quantity is a quality of its own" and the transformation was a much more chakra intensive variant that offered stability and feedback. Constantly using a chakra intensive jutsu doubly counted as training for increasing chakra capacity and regeneration made my monkey brain jump for joy at the numbers going up.
Turns out enough fanfiction was right in that regard, and I kept up the transformation technique nonstop. The transformation kept most of the proportions, shifting my mass to only shave two inches off my height, trimmed my shoulders just enough to feel better about, and gave me a swimmer's body. I had curves, shark teeth, cow print accessories and ripped muscles still, and while that wasn't my ideal it was doing wonders for my dysphoria. Haku's double take of my new look only happened a few times until the second day when they asked, and we had a quick discussion that started their own journey of self-discovery.
Our multi-week journey escort gave us plenty of time to talk and I got to throw a few training techniques at my adorable apprentice. There's the whole concept that people teach and learn different things earlier based on relevance. City kids have little need to know how to gut a rabbit, in more ways than one. This means that water walking was actually taught along with the "academy 3" because being able to move about your homeland was important, and watching kids fail hundreds of times was hilarious and built character. Mist had the bright eye to teach it backwards like that because wall and tree walking came easier after learning the water walking technique, and if a kid couldn't push past that struggle they weren't ninja material for the village. No Spidey powers if you can't get back up after getting knocked down. Back on topic, I had been teaching them some extra control techniques and added a general fitness (for a fighter) regiment.
With a little more coin added to our treasury, most of our gear tucked away in scrolls including our scratched headbands (and Kubikiribocho inside her own), we were sending a message. An obviously trained shinobi out of uniform carrying minimal gear and no headband was an understood (although sometimes abused) statement along the lines of "I'm not on a job, but fuck around and find out" and that explained the canon appearance of my current target.