Chapter Text
Friday, April 23rd | 7:12 AM
“Ricky, come sit here!” a warm voice slightly calls out to me. It’s soft and I can hear his lips being pressed together to form a faint smile. A hand moving quickly to grab his bag and reveal an open seat which had been saved for me.
“Hao-ge, good morning,” I respond back to the older student who had been waiting for me to arrive.
I’ve always hated early mornings. In my high school years, I’d wake up to an empty house with nothing surrounding me but the slightest shine pouring in through my curtains from the moon. It wasn’t bright, but enough to keep me up and moving. Bus rides as quiet as a soft breath, a time for me to skim through my notes before tests, or rest my head on the numbing window which almost always left my forehead red in the winter time. I’d spend my lunch time knotted in my thoughts mixed with other conversations close to me. I never enganged in conversations much up until junior year, when Zhanghao had transferred.
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November 18th, 2022
He was a year older than me but appeared to be slim with a smaller figure. His eyes as wide as a restless night even in the dark, early mornings. He lived a house down from me which meant seeing him walk down the aisles of the bus everyday. I didn’t stare too hard otherwise I was scared the upper classman would look down on me. Occasional glances, but never once had he drawn his attention back towards me thankfully. Unfortunate for me, he had still chosen to sit next to me weeks later.
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Friday, April 23rd | 7:24 AM
It’s getting warmer out and often I catch myself zoning out. Not so much me, but Matthew.
“Ricky-ya, did you hear me?” he examines my face as he asks.
I whirl my head up to see Matthew and Hanbin patiently waiting for my response. I hadn’t noticed them sit down along with the others; Taerae, Gunwook and Yujin who was resting his head on the table looking weary.
“Sorry, could you repeat that?” I hesitantly laugh to avoid looking uninterested. My friends are always calm with me regarding how off track I get from the conversation attempting to be held. Before they could repeat themselves, the bell rings as Jiwoong rushes in with Gyuvin towards us. It was like them to be late during this time of the year since they walk together in the sunny mornings.
I gather my stuff and begin walking to my first class with Taerae. We have a choir class together which makes it somewhat fine. Having it so early in the morning is what bothers me most. Hearing abrupt noises and yodels from other students gives me a headache. Usually, Gyuvin would walk with us but as I turn around to look for him, I see him stealthily walking the other direction with a small, slim hand covered by his. It wasn’t unusal for him for skip classes, especially when it meant meeting with beautiful, silky haired girls. Each a new one at the start of the week. I never understood his idea of romance, it was hollow and fake. But who was I to correct my friend’s questionable behavior? It had never bothered anyone else.
Five of us sit here eating together at a small café near the campus. It was just outside and easiest for us to meet at. It was filled with beautiful radiant flowers the owner took care of, and our favorite spot to hang out at.
My classes were over and I finally felt at ease. Yujin begins to discuss our plans for tonight, and we all agreed on meeting at Hanbin’s dorm since it’s the biggest.
Later that evening, we all slowly arrive at Hanbin hyung’s dorm. It was a simple atmosphere and pleasant to stay at without any worry of how to act. His parents were always very welcoming to me so it’s not a suprise. Besides favoriting Zhanghao, they seemed to like me a lot. Always asking how my mom is, if my father still cooks the dishes I give them on holidays, simple things that felt comforting in a way. I spent a lot of time there studying junior year. Hanbin was easy to be around and can match one’s mood almost immediately. He has always been very understanding of me.
I settle down in a chair in his bedroom. When Yujin arrives, it all feels so subtly sweet. I enjoy times like these when I’m around all my friends. We discuss different topics like people around campus, and even jobs. The topic of grades seems to come up and fall right into my hands.
“Ricky hyung, you’re top student in your class still, right?” Gunwook assumes.
He wasn’t wrong, I’ve always focused on having good grades. I spent late nights repetitively reading the same pages of notes, all for the pleasure of myself. My parents have never been too strict about my work, it was simply being too hard on myself, which worked out in a way.
“Oh, yeah,” I straightforwardly respond.
My friends all praise me, besides one which seemingly projects to me — Gyuvin.
“It’s not that hard to achieve as a sophmore, most have pretty high grades actually,” he mutters.
I feel a look of disgust show. Why would Gyuvin feel the need to degrade me. Gyuvin who skips class to shove his hands up a bra, Gyuvin who was placed in all lower classes high school years, Gyuvin who never once stood above me. I couldn’t stand seeing that grin on his face. The satisfaction of bringing his own friend down.
“What do your grades look like, Gyuvin?” I rebuked.
Gyuvin snickers. He pulls out his phone to show what looked to be failing classes. It was pathetic. I felt bad in a way for humiliating him infront of our friends, but he had started this. His head jotted slightly down, as if the attention he snagged was begging to be brought elsewhere. I couldn’t help but focus on Hanbin staring at the boy shamelessly. Before we could move on from this irksome conversation, Zhanghao remarks what I could only imagine to be death..
“Ricky-ya, why don’t you tutor Gyub?” he suggests.
And as the resentment begins to fill my stomach, Gyuvin agrees just like that.
Sunday, April 25th | 10:32 AM
I sit lifelessly in my car, conspiring on wether Gyuvin would actually study, or if I’d be inbetween one of his hookups. My body felt heavy, glued to the car seat as the smell of my pine air freshener overflows into my thoughts. It had been at least five minutes since I had put my car in park in what seemed to be the last place I’d ever choose to spend my weekend — Gyuvin’s apartment.
I take a deep breath, or even what sounded to be a groan that came from pure annoyance, and head towards the elevator. Zhanghao had decided to set up a study session just yesterday evening as a way to help Gyuvin. As I make my way up to Floor 3, Room 211, I can feel my fists begin to clench. They felt tight, even tight enough to hit someone. I knock on the door to what in response sounded to be empty. I skim through my messages, reassuring this had been the right room number, becoming anxiously angry. I knock again, no response. I wait for what felt like twenty minutes until I realize the door was left unlocked. As I creek it open just enough to see if Gyuvin had been in his room, I turn to my left to see him. Gyuvin, who had been wrapped in a small towel hanging just above his v-line,
with leftover droplets of water from the shower gleaming over his pale, smooth stomach.