Chapter Text
Sometimes the worst things aren't the biggest moments that happen in life. Sometimes, it's the small annoyances that add up to something huge. For Chuuya, it was whenever Dazai mixed his curry, making it look like a soggy, shit-like mess.
"Stop that fucking fork that's mixing right now." Chuuya mumbled with furrowed eyebrows. It wasn't even a suggestion, it was a statement. An order. Chuuya always neatly kept his curry away from the chicken, making sure it never touched unless he was gonna put it in his mouth.
Dazai kept on mixing, pleased at the irratation on Chuuya's face. The teasing smile glued onto him just kept getting wider as Chuuya was visibly shaking at how annoyed he was. Ranpo, Kunikida and Yosano were all used to it by now. It has always been the norm for them to bicker anyways.
Everybody always knew Dazai and Chuuya as Dazai and Chuuya. Ever since they fought over who should sit on the side of the see-saw that hasn't been hit by rain water during kindergarten, it was clear they would be bound together forever.
Inside of the mess of the most prestigious High-School in Yokohama that is BlackBird Academy, they both stayed low in the dark together. The school was filled with athletes, science olympiad winners and everything in between. The school had a reputation to keep, and the students in it weren't gonna let it down. They weren't unknown though, for sure.
Chuuya was widely known for being a boxing champion in their region, having played in the nationals a few times. He has dominated the sport ever since he was small, making him naturally lean with a lot of muscle. Despite all that experience, he always tried his best to stay out of fights and drama, keeping his name clear with hopes of getting into a good university in the future. He was ambitious and straight-forward with his goals, a quality admired by many. Especially Dazai.
Dazai was quite a slacker at school. Notebooks empty, homework turned in just before the due and a "as long as it's finished" mindset. But beneath all of that, his passion fired in the form of finding a checkmate in a field of war between the pieces wrapped around his fingers. He was a 2 time national junior level chess-winner, having been trained by his father, Mori, since childhood as an extra hobby to practice critical thinking. With trained problem-solving like this, it was no doubt he was an academically excellent student. Without even trying, he was always top of his class.
Dazai and Chuuya always had some sort of understanding for eachother. Some sort of red string tying and connecting them together that was never visible to anyone else. Dazai knew Chuuya and Chuuya knew Dazai. They were an unstopabble pair together.
"Why what a mess of a duo we have here!" Kenji, their junior, chirped with a bright smile with the newly-bought bento from the cafeteria. Behind them was Akutagawa and Atsushi, also one of the few juniors who they hung out with.
The gang never made an effort to get close with the juniors, but the day Kenji, Atsushi and Akutagawa were lost in the hallway trying to find their classes during freshmen year, Kunikida knew he needed to help. The rest was history.
"I can't believe they have the audacity to raise the prices of the chicken mentai, which was by the way, already ¥500 before! Now it's ¥510! What the actual fuck!?" Atsushi yelled. The boy had barely any sense of how loud or quiet his volume of voice should be, which made him an absolute nightmar, especially in class.
"It's called inflation you fucking sushi, get used to it." Akutagawa replied unfazed. Atsushi responded with a face of dissapoinment at the nickname as they took a seat at the table.
Akutagawa was trying a new dish from the cafeteria, a ham and cheese sandwich. Kunikida was eating bento made by his mom while Yosano was drinking ramune she bought from a vending machine before school started. She never ate at school, always saving her appetite for the food at home, because her mom can't cook early in the morning. Ranpo, as usual, only ate Haribo bear gummies, while Dazai and Chuuya shared the curry Chuuya's big brother, Verlaine, made. Kenji was eating the fresh produce harvested by his parents last week. It was a normal day for the gang. And like any other day, it was never normal.
"Chuu, give me some of your carrots." Dazai ordered. Chuuya looked at him with utter displeasure.
"I already gave you half my curry and half my rice! I am not giving you any of the carrots!" Chuuya replied seriously.
"Pleeeeaaaaseeee?"
"No."
"Pretty please?"
"Fine. Only so you can shut up."
Sadly, only one cut of carrot was seen on Dazai's plate that day.
"What did you say you were gonna talk about earlier, Kunikida?" Yosano asked with interest. Yosano and Kunikida were in the same class together, so it was quite regular for them to meet and talk outside of lunch time. They also sat relatively close to each other, making it a strategic position to have some chatter in class.
"Ah, yes! What did you all get for the number 3 on the math test?" Kunikida asked, crossing his arms on the table.
"I got 83.7" Chuuya answered, taking the last bite to his chicken cutlet.
"Chibi is so stupid, it's obviously 107.5! You definitely forgot to sum everything up." Dazai concluded, taking yet another carrot from Chuuya's plate, stuffing it into his mouth before the ginger could complain.
"Stop calling me that! And no, you mackerel, they clearly only asked for the total of the first equation!" Chuuya retorded loudly, "Plus, Ms. Nanny said that it wasn't necessary to sum everything up anyways!"
"Ms. Nanny only said that for questions that specifically didn't put any information on how the final answer should be!" Dazai countered, "And maybe if your brain wasn't so small, you could've known that they very clearly stated 'sum all of the above'!"
"Wait, really? Mr. Parker always said that it wasn't ever needed to sum everything up!" Yosano added.
"I wrote both answers, just to be safe." Kunikida stated, ending the argument, "Maybe me and Yosano will be fine but Chuuya might get some points off because you guys have a different teacher with different rules. You know how strict Ms. Nanny is with her rules."
"Have you taken the test, Ranpo?" Yosano asked, suddenly looking at the boy who has been out of the conversation for a while.
"Nah, Ms. Nanny is always slow at teaching my class, I'm taking it next week" Ranpo answered, "I have a feeling she just likes 12C better than 12D"
"Ms. Nanny is so much better at teaching than Mr. Parker though" Kunikida added, "Honestly most of the teachers in 12A are meh, I would much rather be in 12C with you guys!"
"Whatever, I could not give two shits about Ms. Nanny and her attitude" Chuuya scoffed, slurping the leftover curry soup.
"It seems quite stressful to be a senior!" Kenji gushed, taking a bite into his salad.
"Definitely! I really miss junior years, I used to be such a menace to Ms. Minnie!" Dazai recalled.
"Yeah, your ass always got yelled at by her,” Chuuya stated with a smirk, "I remember the time she made you stand in front of class while balancing on one leg for an hour just because you kept playing chess in class with your phone!"
"How chess-obsessed are you?" Atsushi asked sarcastically, "I thought your dad forced you into it, no?"
"He's just an attention seeker, I always see him pretending to imagine a game in his head when we're hanging out even though I know damn well that brain of his is empty.” Chuuya answered for Dazai. He knew Mori was a sensitive topic for the brunette. Dazai was secretly grateful for their bond as he nodded along to Chuuya's rambles.
They had known each other inside out. They knew which topics made the other uncomfortable by heart. Chuuya never talked about where his parents are and Dazai never talked about how Mori acted. They never crossed the lines with these topics. They just knew, some things aren't meant to be talked about out loud. Some words come in the forms of touch and company, not always in the form of sound.
"Oh yeah, are you guys free this Thursday? Me and Ranpo were planning to go to the arcade and thought you guys might wanna come!" Yosano offered brightly.
"I'm down! I might have to leave early though, because Kyouka has a test the next day and she genuinely looks horrified learning the bombings in WW2…" Atsushi answered, eating the last of his chicken mentai.
"I'll come," Akutagawa replied, "I've been wanting to beat Atsushi at this new arcade game called Bigger Bro's."
"You say dumb shit like that so seriously" Chuuya beamed with a smirk.
"Don't be like that Chuu! We're just like them, you know? I especially find it funny whenever you bang your head against the machine every time you lose in Mario Kart!" Dazai bubbled, leaning in to poke a finger on the center of Chuuya’s forehead..
"Shut up! I just wasn't focusing last time. I would come to beat your ass, but I already have plans with someone else this Thursday." Chuuya said seriously, shoving Dazai’s face away as the brunette pouted.
"Ooh, does Mr. Strong Guy have a date~?" Kenji teased, raising his eyebrows up and down.
"It's not a date. It's just a hangout cause she wanted to get to know each other." Chuuya replied straightly.
”Ooh, it’s a she?” Yosano commented, smiling widely.”
"I bet it's that Kimi girl you've been talking to lately," Ranpo said as more of a statement than a question. He always knew.
"Kimi? The girl from 12B? No fucking way! We used to be in the same class and we were like super close in sophmore year, but we kinda drifted apart." Yosano added shockingly.
Kimi? Who's Kimi? Dazai wondered.Chuuya had never been keen into hanging out with girls, let alone talk about them. But with the friendship they had, Dazai was sure that Chuuya would've told him if he had a crush. Did Chuuya not trust Dazai?
"Ooh, that girl! I see her a lot in the hallways!" Atsushi chirped. No matter how much or little Atsushi knew about someone, he always talked about them kindly. The boy was just too nice.
"Why didn't you tell me about it?" Dazai asked.
"Well-"
The bell rang.
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟
Dazai zoned out into the windows outside as the last class of the day came to a close end. He could hear the faint sounds of the teacher talking, students chatting, pens clicking, but everything felt too blurry for him. Too fast. Too real. The birds outside chirped, the clouds moved slowly, but nothing felt real.
He had a tournament on Saturday, two more weeks. It was the finals to determine whether he would make it to the nationals or not, representing his region. Qualifying for nationals wasn't that hard, but with the weight of university baring on him, everything felt a little too heavy. Not only that, but knowing this would be the last time he would be competing in the junior's level made it feel like a need to win. To secure something to hold on to in the future. A promise. A promise to become something bigger. He wanted to win as a national champion, just one more time. One more game, one more move and one more checkmate.
He was still unsure where he would go in the future. He wasn't too interested in studying abroad, wanting to stay in the country until he was old. He chose to pursue medicine, just like how Mori wanted him to. He was thriving in the field. Internships every summer, research papers done every year and endless pratice. Yet, everything was forced. Dazai never wanted to do medicine. Dazai wanted to stay in love with chess. Yet, what they know is better is sometimes a safer option, is it? Dazai wouldn't know. He was too young. Too raw and too stupid.
Examination season was coming soon. College applications are almost open. He needs to focus. He needs something to grasp. But he can't reach out if he doesn't even know whether the water in front of him is safe or not.
"Zai?" Chuuya called. Dazai snapped back to reality. That voice. That sweet melody. The one sound he was always used to hearing ever since small besides the yelling from the sound of his father. It always calmed him down hearing it, he could recognize it from miles away.
"Chuu?" Dazai called back. It's always been their thing. Just calling each other. Sometimes there was no reason. They just wanted someone to call.
"Let's go. I was halfway out when I realized you weren't following, don't tell me your zoning out again." Chuuya said, with his bag swung on one shoulder and wired earphone in one ear. He was always effortlessly cool to Dazai.
Chuuya was always so lively compared to Dazai. He was full of stories, hobbies and talents that can gain the interest of others. He was like a coloring book, filling up every single page of his life slowly, reflecting who he truly was. It was everywhere. The sun keychain he hung on the zipper of his bag (with the other half, the moon, belonging to Dazai), the clothes he wore, the way he talked, the posters on his walls, Chuuya was so Chuuya. Dazai has always strived to be like him, to be so noticeable and recognizable just by what you did. Who you were. Dazai always wondered what it would feel like to have such a high sense of belonging. What you liked and who you liked.
"Mm." Dazai hummed. He grabbed his bag and headed for the door with Chuuya. The hallways were already half empty by then, everyone eager to go home quickly. Dazai didn't even question where they were going.
"Dreading something?" Chuuya asked, halfway through the way out. Their school wasn’t too big for how prestigious it was. The principal opted to invest more on education than infrastructure, which was why the building looked quite old. The facilities were minimal, just enough for the students. The two quickly passed the other set of hallways, reaching the front yard. There were a lot of benches, it was clean and well kept. The plants were neatly trimmed and the fountain in the middle had no sign of algae. Chuuya always wondered why they only ever cleaned up the front yard. They did already have students on cleaning duty after school each day, but the yard was always spotless. Dazai speculated it was because people outside could see the yard, thus the school was very serious in keeping their reputation of looking clean.
"I'm kind of scared for my tournament" Dazai muttered, halfway through the school gates. To the left of the gate was an entrance to the underground subway.
The school was relatively close to both the bus stop and the subway station, which made everything much more convinient. Usually, on Tuesday’s like these, Dazai and Chuuya would enjoy an afternoon at the arcade, but they had some homework they agreed on doing after school today.
Chuuya hummed slowly as they made their way down to the subway station.
"Not only that, but Nikolai was being an absolute bitch beside me. That kid really needs to learn to shut his ass up." Dazai said with no filter, the sole of his shoe loudly hitting the step of each stair. Chuuya chuckled at the honesty, following behind the brunette. Even when Dazai was tired, he always had enough to muster up some joke or comment that made the ginger laugh. Chuuya and Dazai were sat very far from each other, in hopes for them to shut up during class. Chuuya sat behind Albatross on the other side of the room, while Dazai sat next to Nikolai near the windows. This seating plan still ultimately failed, as they always came up with new ways to communicate. One time, they tapped their pens using morse code and they accidentally laughed too loud when Dazai suddenly tapped “Nikolai would be a lot more decent if his ass was symmetrical” out of the blue. Other times they used note passing, sign language, even once just staring at each other, understanding the other’s thoughts.
"I'm sure you'll be fine." Chuuya assured, going to the ticket machine first to fill his IC Card. Dazai didn’t even need to turn around to know, already suspecting that Chuuya’s card would have run out today as he leaned against the wall beside it, looking fondly as Chuuya pressed the buttons with ease, a routine they were both very farmiliar with. His hair was always a bit messy after school and the curls on the ends of it were a bit tangled, Dazai reckoned Chuuya was going to wash his hair today.
Chuuya always filled up his card with a small amount, only ¥1000 everytime he ran out. He said it was because he didn't like carrying lots of cash with him, especially big bills. Dazai always filled his card with the maximum nominal, ¥10000 each time, which made it a rare occurrence for him to need to top up. Though, Dazai must admit that because of his habit of never carrying large bills, Chuuya was extremely quick at counting and arranging coins. It was a skill that even Chuuya didn't notice, Dazai never commented on it.
Chuuya grabbed his card back from the machine as they continued their journey. They scanned the cards to pass the gates, walking side by side down more stairs. Platform 2, 5 stops. They were used to it. When the train came, they sat together, side by side.
The sound of the rails against the train buzzed in Dazai's ear loudly, a bit overwhelming as he could hear the speaker above state the next stop. The train was quite empty and the iredescent lights above them made Dazai a bit dizzy. It wasn't a matter though, nothing was bad if Chuuya was around.
"I don't want to deal with Mori's lectures if I don't qualify, though" Dazai said, continuing the conversation from before.
"It's fine. I can beat his ass if you need me to"
After a few moments of silence and zoning out, Dazai could feel a light weight on his shoulder.
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟
Dazai was sprawled out on Chuuya's bed as he completed the last number of the history analysis they have been paired up to do. Books and notes were scattered everywhere. With the over the top decorations and vibe of Chuuya's room, it really made them look like teenage dirtbags. Dazai let out a loud sigh as he rolled to his side, closing the book and throwing it to the floor. Chuuya was still doing his part, clearly struggling on the last number that he hasn't noticed Dazai's change in position.
The brunette took this chance to admire Chuuya for a bit. The ginger was sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall. He was writing with his left hand as usual, in that weird pen holding position Dazai never understood the comfort of. Dazai noticed new bruising on Chuuya’s knuckles, pratice was probably rough yesterday. Chuuya could always come to the gym whenever he wanted, but he especially liked coming on Mondays and Wednesdays as they were always the days with the least amount of after school activites. There were a few small bandages on his fingers too, Dazai wished he could take care of them and hold his hands gently. He craved the scent of Chuuya’s cologne against himself, brushing against his skin as his touch lingered. How he wished he could cradle him in his arms right now.
It was already 5 PM by now, about 2 more hours before Dazai's curfew. The sun has started setting a bit lightly, casting a glow on the room. Chuuya looked soft, almost ethereal basking in the light of the sun. Dazai let himself smiling at the sight, before quickly hiding it before the ginger noticed.
"Chuu~ I'm already done, your small brain always takes so long! I'm hungry!" Dazai whined dramatically. He just noticed, Chuuya has taken out his phone, chatting with someone. He blushed at the thought of himself losing focus just because he was staring at Chuuya. Chuuya’s fingers tapped and hovered against the keyboard, a slight smile on his face as he typed.
Who is he talking to?
"Who ya talkin' to?" Dazai asked playfully, rolling a bit closer to the edge to get a closer look of Chuuya's phone.
"Hey, Zai. Do you have any good movie recommendations that a girl around our age would like?" Chuuya asked, finally turning his head to look at Dazai.
"What for?" Dazai asked back.
"That Kimi girl. She's offering to watch movies for the hangout and she's asking me if I know any good shit." Chuuya answered.
Oh. Kimi. Right.
"Oh." Dazai mumbled. Does he happen to like her?
"So?" Chuuya asked once again, tilting his head slightly.
"Do you like her?" Dazai asked back, once again.
"I don't know yet. She's pretty and she's smart but we've only known each other around a month” Chuuya replied, eyes desiring an answer feom Dazai, “Honestly, I’m still pretty hesitant about hanging out with her, considering we have exams next week.”
Dazai felt this weird stir in his stomach. He didn't want to hear Chuuya ramble on about Kimi. It was weird. Chuuya never hung out a week before exams, always utilizing that time to study. Dazai knew that, so he never asked Chuuya to go to the arcade. Kimi didn’t know that. Kimi didn’t deserve to know that. She wasn’t close enough with Chuuya like Dazai was. That mouth of Chuuya’s was reserved to talk about Dazai, wasn't it?
No, Dazai can’t be feeling this. Kimi is a wonderful girl, even Dazai who isn’t active in the school drama has heard lovely things about her. He’s happy for Chuuya. But he can’t help himself from feeling the need to prove he’s… better.
"Bad dog! Chuuya is abandoning his owner!" Dazai suddenly erupted, killing the silence and awkwardness in the room. He knew this move he’s using against himself. He’s running away from his own fears by cackling jokes that don’t mean anything. He defends with his shield as usual, always hesitant to bear his sword.
"Get over that joke!" Chuuya retorted, turning his attention back to the phone.
Dazai could feel something bad radiating in his heart. But some things are better to be kept and not spoken.
Chuuya and Dazai are normal. They will stay 'normal'.
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟