Archive of Our Own

“Then let’s do this, together”

— ◆ —

They had done it. Horde Prime was defeated, the Heart of Etheria destroyed, magic restored and all that with minimal casualties.

Adora couldn’t be happier, lying on the grass with her friends (and her something more). They’re laughing at everything, at nothing, just happy to be together and safe at last.

After a few minutes of relentless giggles, the four of them fall into a comfortable silence, soaking up the sun. Bow props himself up on his elbows, head lulling back and to the side, facing the girls

He glances between Catra and Adora before asking, “How did you guys do it?”

They both turn their heads to look at him. He elaborates, “You know, survive and all, at the heart.”

They share a quick glance, hoping to be subtle, and Adora feels herself start to blush.

Before either of them can answer Glimmer cuts in with a knowing smirk. “You guys totally kissed, didn’t you?”

Adora’s deepening blush is the only confirmation Glimmer and Bow need. With twin gasps they sit up straight.

“I knew it!”

“Oh my god, you totally did.”

Glimmer claps her hands together in glee. “First Catradora kiss!” she squeals.

Adora’s lucky that Catra jumps in at that moment (“Yeah, we are not gonna be called that”), because Adora’s brain short-circuits.

She can distantly hear Glimmer defending the nickname and Bow rambling on about ‘the power of love’, but her mind is already drifting elsewhere.

Because that was definitely not their first kiss.

0. Cadets

The first time Catra and Adora had kissed wasn't at the Heart, contrary to what everyone else thought. No, it had been years prior, back when they were both still cadets in the Horde. 

They were teenagers, their whole squad was, and even though they were sheltered in many ways, some things seemed to be universal.

While Adora was always more focused on her training, it was hard to miss all the whispers (“Did you hear who kissed yesterday?”). Sure, she was curious, who wouldn’t be? This new thing that she had never heard about seemed to be all the rage.

She didn’t really know what it was everyone was talking about though.

That was, until she finally saw it.

She and Catra had been walking towards the locker rooms, shoving each other and laughing about something stupid Kyle had done during training. By the time they got there, they usually had the place to themselves—the rest of the squad having long since rushed off to bed. This time however, they were not the only ones lingering.

Once they got to the entrance, Catra stopped dead in her tracks, causing Adora to bump into her with a grunt. Adora was just about to ask her what was wrong, when she saw the reason for Catra’s sudden stop. Two cadets were making out against one of the lockers.

Adora’s mind supplied her with their names, Zarek and Valon (or was it Falon?), as she watched the two wrapped up in each other, completely oblivious to the new bystanders.

Catra suddenly turned around and pushed Adora into the hallway again, slamming the door shut as she did so. As they ran back to their room (shower be damned, they would just have to smell), Adora kept thinking back to what she saw. She had a feeling she wasn’t supposed to see whatever was going on, especially after Catra had pulled them away so quickly.

Once they were back in their room, Adora was finally able to voice her question.

“What were they doing?” she asked between huffs, leaning her hands on her knees as she tried to catch her breath.

Catra sat down at the edge of their (well, technically Adora’s…) bed before answering, “I’m pretty sure they were kissing.”

Adora’s head snapped up. “No way, that’s what kissing is?”

“I mean, I guess, based on the descriptions I’ve heard at least,” Catra said with a shrug.

“Huh,” Adora answered, as she replayed what they saw in her head.

So that’s what everyone was talking about. Adora kind of understood, it seemed like the two were in their own world, completely preoccupied with each other, like they couldn’t get enough.

“I wonder what it feels like,” Adora wondered, remembering the flashes of tongue between the two cadets’ mouths.

Catra froze. A faint pink hue crept up her neck, like she had been caught imagining it herself. She quickly recovered.

“Why, you wanna try it with someone?”

Now it was Adora’s turn to blush. If she wasn’t so busy scoffing and rolling her eyes at Catra’s question, she would’ve caught the jealous twitch of a tail.

“What, like you aren’t curious?”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

Catra tilted her head, eyes narrowing slightly, before speaking again. “Hey, since we’re both curious or whatever, why don’t we just test it out with each other?”

“That’s allowed?” The words caught in Adora’s throat.

“Who cares?” Catra said, and yeah, Adora should’ve known that rules were never something Catra took into consideration.

Fueled by curiosity, excitement and a lack of reasons not to, Adora sat down next to Catra.

“You’re right, who cares,” Adora echoed, voice slightly raspier than it was two seconds ago.

Catra stared at her for a second, clearly not expecting Adora to agree. She cleared her throat and shifted, now fully facing Adora.

Adora spoke again. “So, what do we do?”

“I think we’re supposed to cup each other’s cheek first.”

Adora lifted her hand and placed it on Catra’s jaw. She could feel the soft skin under her hand and subconsciously brushed her thumb across Catra’s cheek.

“Like this?” she asked. She could see Catra’s eyes flick to her lips as she asked the question.

“Yeah,” Catra breathed, the sound barely making it to Adora, even in the silent dorms.

Adora felt herself start to lean in. She kept her half-lidded eyes glued to Catra’s lips as she muttered, “And then…”

She was interrupted, by a pair of soft lips brushing against her own. It started as a light touch, before Catra pressed against her more firmly.

Their lips slotted into each other and Adora felt her stomach flip. She moved her hand that was resting on Catra’s cheek to the back of her neck as their lips started moving slowly. Electricity jolted down her spine as she felt the tip of one of Catra’s sharp canines graze against her bottom lip.

She couldn’t think anymore, the snoring of their roommates muted out by the blood thumping in her ears. Catra’s hand made its way to Adora’s neck. Adora gasped as Catra softly raked her nails along Adora’s nape.

They pulled apart, still looking at each other’s now red and slightly swollen lips, catching their breath.

Adora was the first to speak. “Wow,” she muttered, finally peeling her eyes away from Catra’s lips to meet her multicolored eyes.

Catra laughed, a soft one Adora rarely heard, but always treasured when she did.

“Yeah, wow,” Catra responded.

“I think I get it now,” Adora said, touching a finger to her bottom lip, right where Catra’s fang had touched.

Catra hummed in agreement.

Adora didn’t say anything when she felt Catra’s tail wrap around her ankle later that night.

— ◆ —

The next morning, everyone was called into an assembly.

Shadow Weaver stood at the front of the room, her dark robes billowing around her, as Catra and Adora made their way to the front of the crowd.

Whispers were passed around between the cadets before Shadow Weaver held up a hand, effectively silencing the group.

“I’ve gathered you here today, as there is something I need to… discuss,” she drawled, floating from one side of the room to the other.

“It seems many of you have been busy with some activities outside of your usual training regimen, ones of physical intimacy,” she said with a wave of a hand, flippantly, as if it was ridiculous she even had to discuss this.

“I want to make it clear that this is strictly forbidden. It is of utmost importance that you are focused on your training here and not succumbing to such… distractions.” The last word came out slowly, accentuated by a narrowing of the eyes as Shadow Weaver scanned the crowd.  

Adora felt her heart stutter and subconsciously stood straighter. Despite Shadow Weaver never explicitly stating what she was referring to, Adora knew. She forced her eyes to stay looking forward, even though every fiber of her being wanted to look over to Catra.

The worst part was that it made sense. All she could think about since last night was the kiss she shared with Catra, when she would be able to kiss her again. It was distracting. And Adora couldn’t afford to be distracted.

She felt Catra bristle beside her, and she finally looked. Catra glanced up, and their eyes met. She could see emotions swarming through Catra’s eyes, before Catra quickly looked away again.

After the assembly, they didn’t kiss again. They never even spoke of it. It was clear to Adora then: kissing was a distraction. And distractions only made you weak.

1. Princess Prom

A lot had happened since that first kiss: Adora had been promoted, deserted the Horde and became She-Ra, all in the span of a day. She and Catra were now on opposite sides of a war, something she wasn’t ever going to get used to.

She had already had many frustrating run-ins with Catra, which is why it was no wonder she was so on edge at Princess Prom.

I mean seriously, what were the chances Catra was actually just there to have fun?

And so she did what any person suspicious of someone would do. She followed Catra around the party, not letting her eyes leave her for one second.

It wasn’t like Adora could look away for long if she wanted to—Catra had shown up to the party in a suit that looked offensively good. Adora was convinced that too was a part of Catra’s plan, something to put her on edge (which it definitely did).

By the time the first dance was called, Adora was already thoroughly frustrated. She had spent the whole party chasing after Catra, falling for her little tricks, all while Catra casually pulled off a suit that well. The nerve.

And then suddenly Catra was standing in front of her, arm tilted in the starting position of the dance.

With a grimace, Adora matched her pose.

“I don’t know about you, but I am having a blast,” Catra said as everyone started to move to the music.

Adora felt a glare take over her face. “Whatever it is you’re planning, it won’t work.”

“You sure?”

Through some cut up conversations due to partner switches, Adora managed to figure out that no one had seen Bow for a while.

So yeah, she was even more on edge when Catra twirled into her arms again.

“Maybe my plan won’t work, but then again—” Catra said, before turning Adora around and dropping her into a dip.

Now their faces were only inches apart, so close that Adora could count the individual freckles on Catra’s face (maybe she’d be more tempted to do so if she hadn’t already in the past).

“—maybe it already has,” Catra finished.

Before Adora could make any sense of what Catra had just said, the implications of it, she felt a familiar pair of lips on her own.

For a second all she could feel were the soft lips, all she could smell was a musky perfume Catra had worn for the occasion. She felt goosebumps erupt all over her skin, and her hands instinctively gripped Catra’s shoulder harder.

The kiss was over and she was standing up straight again before she could fully register what was happening, leaving her mind a blank mess.

“Say, where’s your friend, Bow?”

It took another second for Adora’s brain to fully catch up with what she just heard, but once she registered Bow’s name coming out of Catra’s mouth, she flung herself at the girl.

They tumbled for a second before Adora managed to stand up, looking down at Catra.

“What did you do to him?” Adora demanded.

“Nothing permanent,” Catra said from the ground. The smirk on her face didn’t budge.

Adora picked up Catra by her suit jacket, lifting her off the ground. Again, not her smartest move, but it was probably just the kiss still messing with her head. She had to get herself together now.

“Tell me what you did to him right—”

Before she could finish her sentence, a wall of ice tore her and Catra apart.

She tried to explain to Frosta that Catra most definitely did something to her friend, but the 11 (and three quarters) year old would hear nothing. There was only so much she could do from the ice cage Frosta had made around her.

That’s when the heat bombs went off.

Chaos erupted everywhere as the structure of the ice castle began collapsing in on itself. Frosta tried to keep some semblance of order, but panic had already spread among the crowd.

Somehow Adora was still stuck in her cage, utterly useless.

Oh, and Catra was still standing next to her, leaning on the stupid cage’s even stupider wall.

“Catra. What did you do?” Adora hissed.

Catra looked down at her, that smirk only growing bigger.

“I did nothing. Scorpia, Lonnie and Kyle on the other hand were very busy,” Catra said, and Adora fixed her with her best glare, “It was fun distracting you though.”

And that’s when it clicked. That’s why Catra had kissed her. It had just been a part of her big plan to distract Adora. They had learned that that’s all kissing was afterall, a distraction. And it worked. Adora had been thrown off, acting on impulse and landing herself in this ridiculous ice cage.

“This isn’t a game! People are going to get hurt!”

My emotions aren’t a game, you’re hurting me.

She didn’t say the last part, didn’t even fully think it really. It was more something she felt, a raw ache somewhere between her frantically beating heart and the pit in her stomach. She couldn’t fully say why Catra only kissing her as a distraction hurt, but it did. She didn’t have time to linger on her emotions though.

“It’s never been a game to me,” Catra snarled, smirk gone, “I’m after something bigger, and no one is going to stop me.”

With that Catra was off, leaving Adora behind as a giant ice beam fell and destroyed the ice cage.

Adora would never have time to fully think through that kiss, something that would become a pattern.

She had friends to save and when she did save them again, one of them was infected with some sort of dark magic.

One thing she would store away for later though: kissing was distracting, and distractions could be used to your advantage.

A simple combat tactic. Nothing more.

2. Battle of Brightmoon

Adora never expected to have to really fight Catra. Sure they had had their little scuffles, but it had never gotten to the point where they were trying to hurt each other, at least not to this extent.

Yet here she was, trying to defend Bright Moon from the person who knew her best.

And she was getting her ass handed to her.

After sustaining a couple of nasty hits from some Horde canon blasters that even She-Ra couldn’t protect her from, Adora’s vision had gone completely blurry. She couldn’t hear from her left ear and her body ached.

She was slower than usual, Catra told her as much. She knew she was in a rough state but she wasn’t about to give up, not when so many people were relying on her.

Catra had scratched her back, hard, leaving Adora no choice but to slam Catra into the rocks behind them.

She felt them both groan as the wall started to crumple. Catra jumped away and again, Adora was just too goddamn slow.

“This isn’t over,” Adora panted, looking around, trying to find Catra again.

“Of course it’s not over.” 

Adora couldn't pinpoint where Catra’s voice was coming from. Suddenly she felt two feet on her back, slamming her down, as a clawed hand came up to scratch her cheek.

“It won’t be over until Bright Moon is destroyed and the rebellion falls.”

Adora stayed on her hands and knees, listening to the words. The ground beneath her was spinning, so it wasn’t like she could stand up (and stay) right away if she wanted to.

“It won’t be over until darkness covers Etheria forever.”

She could feel her heart beating faster, the dread in her stomach sinking deeper.

“And it won’t be over until I see the looks on your friends’ faces when they find out you failed.”

Her heart clenched at the words, at the thought of her friends who she refused to let down. Who she was letting down.

“That you were too weak to save them.”

Something in her snapped. She grabbed the boulder she was leaning on and launched it into the direction Catra’s voice was taunting her from.

She hit whatever rock Catra was perched on, sending the girl flying and then plummeting. She walked to the edge, finding Catra hanging on by her claws.

In one smooth motion she lifted the brunette by her collar and slammed her against another stone wall.

Finally, for probably the first time in this fight, Adora had the upper-hand. She had to keep it.

And for some reason, the only thing her scattered mind told her to do was kiss Catra. It was the one thing she could think of that could possibly throw the other girl off enough.

So Adora did just that.

This kiss was not like the previous two. The one all those years ago had been soft and tender, the one at Princess Prom had been like a zap, all short and electric.

This one was fueled by anger.

Adora smashed their lips together, and to her surprise Catra kissed her back just as passionately. She felt her grip on Catra’s jumpsuit tighten.

Their fight had been transferred to the kiss—each of them fighting to have the upper-hand, the control. Adora was not about to lose here, so she bit down on Catra’s bottom lip, eliciting a high-pitched groan from the girl.

With that Adora slowly drew away, dragging Catra’s lip along for a second as she did so.

She watched as Catra scanned her face, eyes slightly glazed over and pupils blown wide. It made her feel more powerful. Maybe this whole kissing thing was a good battle tactic after all.

“Enough. You’ve lost, Catra,” Adora said, voice coming out less smooth than she wanted.

Suddenly Catra’s eyes snapped up to Adora’s. She looked back and forth between Adora’s eyes for a few seconds, before clearly finding something she didn’t like there. Her gaze clouded over now, head tilting down.

And then she smirked. Not the teasing one Adora had grown up with, no, any warmth had been replaced with a cold, mean shadow.

“You sure about that?” Catra said, looking over to the side.

Adora followed her line of sight, and her jaw dropped in horror. There were tanks everywhere, all firing at Bright Moon. Spiders and skiffs lined the rocky cliffs, firing straight at the Moon Stone. She saw the forcefield shatter.

No.

“What did you really think this was about you?”

Catra was gone before Adora could turn around, pushing Adora on the ground again.

“The runestone is your last defense… isn’t it?” Catra laughed, the cruel sound echoing off the rocks.

She was right. Adora didn’t have time to entertain Catra anymore, she had to get to her friends, and so she ran.

Even with the sky falling around her, even though she knew she might lose this battle, a small, stubborn part of her was celebrating a victory: Catra wasn't the only one who could play dirty. 

3. The Northern Outreach

Adora didn’t see Catra for a long time after that. Sure, there were Horde attacks Catra was clearly behind, they ran into all her friends, but they never saw Catra herself. Adora found herself almost missing the girl.

They were finally reunited in the Northern Outreach.

Adora had already mentally prepared herself—they were here due to reports of Horde activity, after all—but it was still shocking to see Catra again. Her traitorous mind immediately noticed how cute Catra looked in her winter coat.

She quickly composed herself, shoving those thoughts far away. She had to focus on the task at hand: beating Catra.

“Catra!” Adora shouted, tilting her chin up, “It’s been a while.”

Catra’s ears perked up and she looked around for a moment. When her eyes locked onto Adora’s, Adora watched her shocked expression slowly morph into a smug grin.

“Hey, Adora,” she said, with her signature smirk. Adora felt her stomach flip at the familiar line. Only because she hadn’t heard it in so long. Probably.

“You’re pretty far from the front line,” Adora said, keeping her voice airy, all mock worry, “I guess Shadow Weaver’s keeping you away from the action since you lost the Battle of Bright Moon.”

This didn’t seem to hit the nerve Adora hoped it would. Catra just tilted her head back in laughter.

“Shadow Weaver?” Catra chuckled, “Wow, I always forget how clueless you are.”

Adora didn’t read into that too much, Catra and Shadow Weaver had always been… complicated. Instead she stuck to the reason she was there.

“We’re here to take back this land,” Adora declared as she raised her sword, “It’s time for you to go back to the Fright Zone.”

Catra’s face lit up, her eyes taking on a slightly manic look. She was clearly looking forward to this fight.

“You want us to go?” Catra said, “Try and make us.”

However, Catra was not the only one itching for a fight.

“My pleasure.”

Adora leapt forward, sword swinging, and Catra dodged her easily. She knew this dance, had known it since she was just a kid. She would never get sick of it.

Snow crunched under her boots as she ran after Catra. She turned her sword into a staff and went for a jab that only got her stuck in an ice wall for a moment. She hadn’t fought Catra since she learned to change her sword into different objects and she was planning on using her new skill to her full advantage.

Quickly, Adora changed the staff into a rope and lassoed it around Catra’s ankle. Catra hit the ground with a thud before Adora pulled her closer and flipped her around.

Changing the rope into a sword again, Adora aimed her weapon at Catra’s face.

“Don’t move,” Adora said, trying to sound as commanding as possible.

“Oh, please,” Catra replied, somehow still smirking despite obviously having just lost, “You’d never have the guts.”

And fuck, wasn’t that the truth. Adora knew this, even if she hated herself for it, but Catra knowing was a problem. How was she ever supposed to win if Catra knew that she couldn’t hurt her, not truly? She partially withdrew her sword, still keeping it at her side.

“You know, as much as I love our fights, it’s way too cold for this,” Catra said, already slightly sitting up, “Why don’t we try something new?”

With that, Catra, the person she supposedly had pinned, jumped up. But Catra didn’t attack her, no, instead she kissed her.

Adora blamed the cold for how fast she melted into the kiss, but she knew deep down that she had also missed this. One of Catra’s hands made its way to the back of Adora’s neck, carding through her hair and lightly scratching Adora’s scalp.

Adora’s mind went fuzzy at the sensation and she deepened the kiss.

Next thing she knew, Catra’s other arm shifted slightly, tapping something against Adora’s sword that still hung at her side.

Suddenly her body wasn’t her own anymore. She stepped back and could vaguely see a disc in Catra’s hand. All she could feel was pain as she watched the red vines spread from her gemstone.

Then everything went red.

— ◆ —

Later, after the virus had finally been purged from her system, Adora sat alone in her room, her chest still aching from the disc's corruption. She replayed the encounter over and over in her head. How did she fall for that tactic again? Even after she had used it on Catra herself?

As she gripped her blanket, a cold determination settled over her. She wouldn't let Catra catch her off guard again.

4. The Portal

Adora knew she said she’d never fall for that trick again, but that didn’t mean she would never be the one pulling the trick again.

And right now, she needed all the tricks she could think of.

The world around her was crumbling after Catra had opened the portal (it’s not like Adora told her this would happen or anything…).

She could hear the otherworldly energy around her tear the ground apart from where she sat on her knees. She clung to her heart—saying goodbye to her friends was never easy, especially when she wasn’t sure she would ever see them again. She was going to do everything she could to make sure they would all be reunited again.

She was just about to recollect herself and stand up, when she felt a sharp nail press against her forehead.

She looked up and there was Catra. Adora had no idea how Catra was still here, she had watched the portal consume her. Then Catra stepped into the light and it was clear that she hadn’t imagined Catra falling into the glowing abyss.

Her right arm and the right side of her face were completely black, bright white cracks separating the darkness and her skin.

Then she spoke, and God did it sound wrong.

“Hey, Adora,” she crackled, her voice overlaid with something robotic, something that didn’t sound living. The familiar catch-phrase sent chills, the bad kind for once, down Adora’s spine.

A clawed, blacked-out hand pushed Adora’s head back and Adora landed on her back in the Crimson Waste. The moist air of the Whispering Woods was replaced by a drier, hotter one. Even inside, with all the cloth draped above her for shade, she could feel the sun heating her up.

She knew this reality tended to throw you around like that, but knowing so didn’t make it any less disorienting.

Catra came to sit right above her, straddling her legs.

“Aw, where are your friends?”

That voice again, Adora could hardly bear it. How could something so alien replace the sound she knew best?

She didn’t have time to linger on those thoughts though. Catra sliced her hand forward and Adora could hear her claws swishing in the air as she just nearly dodged the attack. She grabbed Catra’s arm, her normal arm, and pulled her towards herself.

“Catra, stop. You have to—” It came out more pleading than Adora intended.

“It’s always the same with you, Adora,” Catra said, pushing Adora’s head down, “‘I have to do this. Oh, we have to do that.’ Let’s be honest, all of this is your fault.”

Now Catra had Adora twisted back around, maintaining a steady grip on her hair. Another push and Adora was in the Northern Reach. Cold air immediately invaded her lungs and the hair on her arms stood up. Adora could see her breath as she started to shiver.

Memories from the last time she was here flashed through her mind, adding to the ache she could already feel settling in her bones.

She looked up at Catra from the snowy ground as the girl continued, “If you hadn’t gotten captured, your sword wouldn’t have opened the portal.”

Catra grabbed Adora by the jacket and flung her towards the bridge. Adora felt her back hit the railing and looked down in fear, trying her best not to slip on the icy surface. That was a long drop.

There was an unnatural whirring noise, and suddenly Catra was standing behind her, kicking her in the back of the knee. Adora fell to the ground and looked behind her only to be hit with a snowball right in the eyes.

“If you hadn’t gotten the sword and been the world’s worst She-Ra,” Catra continued, dragging Adora to the edge, “none of this would’ve happened.”

Adora felt her stomach drop as she was pushed off the bridge. Wind raced past her for a few terrifyingly weightless seconds. Everything was happening so fast. There was no way her mind, let alone her body, could ever keep up.

Her fall was cut violently short by a plunge into freezing water. For a minute she felt peaceful. All the noise around her vanished and it was like she was in her own little bubble. Unfortunately for her, this bubble didn’t have any air, and she quickly found herself needing exactly that.

She scrambled to the surface, gasping for breath the second she broke through, only to immediately be grabbed by her hair again.

“Admit it, Adora,” Catra said as she lifted Adora up by her ponytail, “the world would still be standing if you had never come through that portal in the first place.”

With that she was dunked underwater again. This time she ended up on the stairs at Princess Prom. The party lights and soft music were almost comical now, a stark contrast to her current reality.

Again Adora thought back to what had happened here, the hope that she had still felt that Catra might actually join her. That same hope was dwindling faster than it ever had.

“You made me this,” Catra yelled.

Adora ran, it was her only way out, she knew this. Of course, Catra caught up to her. Adora was kicked down, landing on her stomach in the Fright Zone.

She felt the cold, familiar metal under her palms as she tried to get up. The air was heavier than usual, a faint greyish brown hue covering her surroundings. That, or her eyes and lungs were finally giving up.

“You took everything from me!”

She could hear Catra was getting angrier, the unnatural overlay in her voice becoming more prominent.

Once again, Adora was picked up by her jacket and thrown to the side. She landed in the seat in Mara’s ship. Her surroundings were finally more digestible—no extreme temperatures, no limitations to her breathing.

Catra placed a hand next to Adora’s head.

“You broke the world, and it is all your fault,” Catra said, leaning her face in closer.

Adora was cornered. She didn’t know what Catra was going to do next, what new place she would be thrown into. She could feel herself rapidly wearing down and bruises starting to form. She had to act quick, do something that would throw Catra off enough to give her a chance to collect herself.

And so she did what they always did, the same trick that they only seemed to think to use when with each other.

Adora didn’t expect to feel the… glitch when she connected their lips. It was the feeling she imagined one would have before being stuck by lightning—all static electricity, the hairs on your neck standing up in anticipation.

But the strike never came. She felt a single tear slide down her cheek, though she wasn’t sure why. She pulled away after the brief kiss and gave herself a moment to just feel while she looked at Catra’s face, frozen in shock.

She took a breath and steeled herself, hearing the world continue to tear itself apart around her.

“No, it’s not,” she said and this time she pushed Catra.

— ◆ —

She never thought back to this kiss. Partially because absolute chaos erupted the moment normal reality was restored, with Angella being gone and Etheria being pulled out of Despondos.

But mostly because it simply hurt too much. There was a finality to it that Adora couldn’t stomach. She had known it the second their lips touched, and she knew it now: something had shifted between them, and it might never be fixed. 

(4.5 The Crimson Waste)

She was right, something had shifted. Any leftover friendship that might’ve made her soften a punch or slow down a swing of her sword had disappeared. Now, all she felt when she looked at Catra was a cold sort of anger.

(There were moments this anger turned into something hot, right in the pit of her stomach, but she would keep ignoring this.)

She found herself hanging from the edge of a broken-off wooden walkway in the middle of the Crimson Waste. The hot air made her skin sticky, and for once she wasn’t grateful for the amount of glorious hair She-Ra had.

She had been momentarily distracted, giving Catra the upper hand for a second. It had been all the other girl needed and that’s how Adora found herself in her current position, watching Catra run in the opposite direction.

Yeah, no. You’re not getting away that easy.

She launched herself onto the wooden walkway again as Catra jumped up to the walkway above them. Adora sliced the support beam and Catra came tumbling down.

She caught the girl obviously, shoving away any thoughts regarding how small Catra really was compared to She-Ra.

Catra grunted as Adora slammed her against the wall. Out of the corner of her eye, Adora could see a metal grate, roughly the size of the angry brunette she currently had pinned.

Perfect.

She yanked it out of the wall and smashed it down around Catra. She leaned in with a smirk, feeling the satisfaction of a victory wash over her.

“I’ve got something more important to do,” she said, as Catra continued to glare at her, forehead pressed against the metal cage.

Then, because she just couldn’t resist at that moment, she leaned in and placed a quick peck on Catra’s lips. And didn’t that just make her victory so much sweeter?

It was a hollow kiss, more spiteful than past ones, only confirming further that something had shifted between them.

She subconsciously picked up on the fact that Catra smelled a bit different… Like a cold mint, instead of her usual musk. Maybe, it was just her new outfit, too new to smell like Catra yet. Adora tried not to think too much about Catra’s new outfit though (did she have to place a cut-out right there?).

“It was fun distracting you, though,” Adora said, sending the now stunned Catra a wink.

Okay, that was a bit weird. Not the wink obviously, that was one of the many ways they constantly taunted each other. No, it was weird how frozen Catra was, as if she hadn’t seen the kiss coming at all. It wasn’t even a full kiss, just a simple peck. Normally Catra would’ve gone back to glaring at her by now.

Adora assumed it was probably just because they hadn’t seen each other in a while after having ended things on a bad note. 

Whatever, all the better for her if her distraction tactics were still effective, that only meant she could continue to use them for longer (not that she particularly wanted to continue to kiss Catra, it was just good for combat, you know?).

With one last glance at Catra, she ran away and towards her friends, who could definitely use her help at the moment.

(Later, she wouldn’t understand how Catra was able to escape the makeshift cage. She resigned herself to accepting it as one of life’s great mysteries.)

5. Prime's Ship

Adora’s hands were shaking. She had fought monsters, bots, and entire armies, but nothing had ever drained the strength from her bones quite like the sight of Catra’s glowing green eyes and the metal chip embedded in the back of her neck.

But she had to be strong, to push through and fight. Not for herself, no, never for herself, but for Catra, the one person she would never give up on.

“I’m not giving up on you, Catra!” Adora yelled. Catra was still in there, she had seen her eyes fade back to their usual yellow and blue for a second.

“Then you’re a fool,” Catra responded, in that robotic way, with an eerie, overlaid voice, “You cannot stop Horde Prime.”

Adora saw the monitor behind Catra crackle with electricity for a moment.

“He will reign triumphant over all the universe,” Catra continued, unaware of the malfunctioning technology behind her, “It is… destiny–”

A zap of electricity, something that looked like lightning to Adora, connected to the chip in Catra’s neck.

Catra screamed, and Adora felt the sound deep in her bones. It was horrible.

Adora lunged, throwing her weight into Catra to tackle her to the deck just as the monitor shattered into a hail of sparks and glass. 

They landed haphazardly on the ground. Adora could worry about some mere cuts later, right now she was focused on the half-conscious girl in her arms.

She watched Catra roll over with a pained groan, her ears pinned flat in defeat as she slowly opened her eyes.

“Adora… you should have stayed away,” Catra said, bearing her teeth through the pain, “Why did you come back? We both know I don’t matter…”

Adora felt her heart break at that. She had never heard anything so untrue, but she could tell Catra whole-heartedly believed it. Accepted it.

She cupped Catra’s face, feeling her voice take a desperate edge as she spoke. “You matter to me.”

Tears ran down Catra’s cheeks before the corners of her mouth twitched upward into a fragile smile. She looked like she might believe Adora, and Adora breathed a small sigh of relief at the sight.

The moment was short-lived. Catra gasped as her eyes turned back to green and pushed away Adora’s hand. She slapped Adora’s face as she stood up, slowly making her way over to the edge of the platform.

Adora clambered to her feet, matching Catra step for step, careful not to spook her. Every step further Catra went, Adora felt her heart beat louder against her ribs, as if trying to break the few ribs still intact.

“Come on, Catra!” Adora pleaded, not caring how scared she sounded. She was scared.

“You’ve never listened to anyone in your life!” she continued.

Not even to me.

She felt a stab at the thought. She wondered where they might be, how happy they might’ve been, if Catra had listened to her so many years ago. Or if Catra hadn’t opened the portal. Or if Catra hadn’t tried to contact Horde Prime.

But Catra was never going to be the person to just blindly follow orders. It was one of the reasons Adora loved liked her so much. One of the reasons Adora was here, risking it all to save her.

“Are you really going to start now?”

Catra turned around, the glowing green fading from her eyes once again.

“You’re such an idiot,” Catra said, a sad smile on her face.

“Yeah, I know,” Adora choked out, somewhere between a sob and a laugh. Normally she would’ve rolled her eyes at the comment, shot something back, but now she was just so happy to hear Catra say something so her.

Adora could see Catra fighting whatever it was that chip was doing to her.

“I’m going to take you home,” Adora said, feeling the tears well up further in her eyes.

Catra looked up, something akin to hope in her eyes.

“You promise?” she asked weakly.

“I promise!” Adora responded, reaching out her hand.

I can’t lose you.

The sentence repeated through her mind like a mantra. Not the smooth, robotic ones that Horde Prime controlled, no, this was an overlapping, jumbled mess.

I can’t lose you.

Catra stepped closer, grabbing Adora’s hand. Adora could see she was still fighting for control and she knew she had to do something fast.

Catra’s eyes flicked between Adora’s own. Any hope left in her eyes was taken over by a resigned heaviness. Catra cast one last sad glance at Adora’s lips and slowly leaned in.

Adora froze for a second, before meeting her halfway. If this was how she had to ground Catra, she would. 

She brought her hand up to cradle Catra’s jaw, her thumb catching a stray tear, trying to pour every ounce of her own stubborn strength into the contact.

The kiss was soft, softer than any of their kisses had ever been. She could taste the salt on Catra’s lips, along with a hint of a sterile chemical. She didn’t want to know what Catra had endured to acquire such a taste.

Adora tried to shake the feeling of familiar finality, not rooted in anger this time, but instead in a sad sort of acceptance. But Adora wasn’t ready to accept anything other than them both getting out of there, so why did this kiss feel like a goodbye?

And then Catra froze. The shaking, desperate warmth of her lips instantly turned to ice. Even from where her hand was placed on Catra’s cheek she could feel the muscles freeze up, then twitch, as if Catra was still trying to fight for control. Adora's heart plummeted a split second before she was violently pushed away. 

Looking up from where she landed on the ground she saw Catra’s eyes were green again, with a white pupil right in the middle of them.

No.

“Disappointing,” Catra said, her voice overlapping with Horde Prime’s, “Some creatures are destined only for destruction.”

For a second, a deceivingly hopeful second, Catra’s eyes returned to normal.

And then she was screaming. Adora could see something was going on with her chip and she launched forward, desperate to help.

But she wasn’t fast enough. She never was.

Catra’s eyes rolled back as she lost consciousness and fell off the edge.

Adora watched as Catra vanished into the abyss below them. Her heart stopped and her ears were ringing.

Her mind went blank, running on pure instinct, and she jumped after her.

Adora blinks the memories away, taking in the peace around her. She takes a moment to stare at Catra, alive, unchipped and smiling. She never thought that she would be able to have this life, but here she is. And she’s happy.

Her emotions must be showing on her face, because once Catra turns to her again, she cocks her head to the side.

“What’s up?” Catra asks, in a soft voice Adora found was only ever reserved for her.

Glimmer and Bow stand up, walking towards their other friends to celebrate their victory.

“Nothing, just thinking,” Adora trails off, feeling her heart warm at Catra’s concerned look.

After she doesn’t receive an answer Catra pushes a bit more. “About…”

“How long did you know?” Adora asks after gathering the courage to.

“I mean, I’m pretty sure I already told you,” Catra says, still slightly confused, “I’ve always loved you, have always known so.”

Adora feels herself blush at the answer as she tries (and fails) to hide her smile. Yeah, she isn’t going to get sick of hearing that anytime soon.

“No,” she says with a light laugh, “I mean how long did you know kissing wasn’t actually just a technique used to distract people.”

When she looks up, she’s met with a stunned expression.

“I mean, I only figured it out a few days ago,” she elaborates, rubbing the back of her neck, “It was right after Entrapta removed Spinerella’s chip. Netossa just… grabbed her and kissed her, right there in front of everyone. Frosta made this huge deal about how gross it was and told them to go do that somewhere else. But then Perfuma jumped in and said it wasn't gross, it was just love.”

Adora looks down at her hands. “They weren't trying to distract each other to win a fight or anything. They just… love each other.”

Adora pauses, expecting Catra to share her own epiphany moment, or maybe how long she had it figured out.

What Adora doesn’t expect is for Catra to laugh. It starts as a muffled giggle, but gets progressively louder until Adora swears she hears Catra snort.

“Okay, what’s so funny, I don’t get it,” Adora says, because as much as she would love to listen to Catra’s adorable laugh, she would also very much like to know why she’s laughing.

“It’s just…” Catra begins, wiping a tear of laughter from her eye, “Adora, I’ve always known. From the moment I knew what kissing was and kissed you back in the Fright Zone.”

Now it’s Adora’s turn to be stunned.

“Oh,”

“Yeah, oh.”

“So, all this time…” Adora doesn’t really have it in her to finish her sentence, instead hoping Catra would pick up on what she’s trying to say.

“I just wanted an excuse to kiss you, honestly,” Catra says with a shrug. Even though it’s said with her usual nonchalance, some vulnerability is made visible with a twitch of her tail.

Adora feels her face flush hot at the confession. 

“And plus, it worked out, didn't it?" Catra adds, her typical smug grin sliding effortlessly back into place, "Look where I am today.” 

Adora softens at that. She knows she looks like a love-sick idiot, and maybe she is. But looking at Catra, she decides that’s completely okay. 

“Yeah,” Adora smiles, leaning in to pull her close, “It really did.”

This time, when their lips connect, they know what it really is.

A promise, one they never plan on breaking.