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r/AmItheAsshole
u/Doolset1409 • 14d
Am I the asshole for adopting a pet without telling my boyfriend?
I (M25) and my boyfriend M (M27) have been together for about three years now. We live in an apartment together and have three cats. All boy cats if you’re wondering. We’ve been happy with them as pets since we moved in and haven’t really thought about other pets since.
However, we were cuddling a couple weeks ago and watching a nature documentary when they started talking about geckos. I’ve always wanted a gecko and I know M has as well. We talked about it that night and decided that a gecko would be such a cute pet to have and raise. M raised concerns over the cats and how they’d react to the gecko but I said it would be fine. Our cats aren’t hostile and usually just mind their business.
Anyways!! M was at work today with a full 12 hour shift so I was all alone. I went out for coffee with my friend and on the way back home I passed a pet store. I only went in for a look but I found the most adorable gecko in the world!! The salesman was nice, telling me he had called her Richard because it’s sounds like lizard in my native language. That’s when I knew I had to have Richard.
I quickly bought her and took her home (I got all the supplies needed for her and everything). I’ve also done a lot of research on this specific type because I’ve been wanting to get one for ages!! So that’s why I was so quick to get her. I took her home and set everything up by around 7pm. But my boyfriend also got home at that time and I realised I hadn’t actually told him.
Obviously he got really mad and I felt reallyyy bad about it :( He’s been cooped up in our room since he got home and refuses to leave it so I think I’m gonna sleep in my studio office tonight. Luckily Richard’s with me!!
I know I was an asshole for getting Richard and bringing her home without M knowing. But!! We had talked about it and he had also agreed. So him getting mad doesn’t really explain a lot to me. So was it justified orr…?
Judgement_Bot_AITA - 14d
Welcome to r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only onejudgement in your comment.
trapstakesx • 14d
yes obviously youre the asshole?? you shouldve told your bf you were gonna get a gecko or even js thought about it before buying it. this relationships not gonna last if you do spontaneous shit like this
> | Doolset1409 • 14d
he’s used to me doing stuff like this :(( it’s jsut because this one’s such a big deal but he’s usually really nice about it and comforting :C
>> | trapstakesx • 13d
youre literally 25 acting like some needy baby no wonder he got mad at you 💀💀
fioren_legend_ • 13d
NTA i dont think either of you are in the wrong tbh, like you said you talked abt it w each other and agreed but you also didnt tell him so he had the right to be mad. i think you guys should js talk abt it and maybe he’ll warm up to richard
> | victor_test_895 • 12d
OP is still in the wrong tho cause they cant communicate
glittering_cryptoid78 • 14d
youre such a red flag tbh. You seem way too dependent on this man but also ignore his opinions and feelings. you should js break up
> | Doolset1409 • 13d
woah okay?? I’m not dependent on him at all. Idk how you got that from this post. I also care A LOT about his opinions and feelings, hence why I made the post in the first place. I’m not gonna break up with him over Richard cause that’s even more insane??
porangporang • 11d
YTA just talk to him tho and make sure you hear him out- it’s very understandable why he got so mad
r/AmItheAsshole
u/Doolset1409 • 8d
UPDATE!!! Am I the asshole for adopting a pet without telling my boyfriend?
For those who are wondering, this is the original post!!
I read the comments on my previous post and did what some told me to do (not the ones telling us to break up ewwww!!)
But anyways!! I talked to M in the morning about Richard but he kind of blew me off and just left for work. I let him and spent time with Richard all day! Plus our cats seem to like him. They’re not attacking him or anything. Our eldest even tried to lick him but I made sure he didn’t lol
M came back later than usual and just kind of went to bed but he slept in the same bed as me so it was fine. We woke up at the same time but he stilllll kind of blew me off. He didn’t have work though so he left to go to the gym while I just stayed at home again. Btw I have a job it’s just a work at home job. M came back around three hours later and finally said we should talk.
We did and it turns out he wasn’t mad about Richard persay… just… jealous. He was worried I’d spend more time with Richard than him which is crazy! I love all my babies equally. He was soo happy after hearing that it was adorable :((
So it’s all good now and nobody was the asshole!!
ETA >> my boyfriend isn’t toxic or controlling. He’s also not jealous a lot, it was just this one time. We are in a serious and committed relationship.
Judgement_Bot_AITA - 14d
Welcome to r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only onejudgement in your comment
light_y4g4m1 • 8d
cute!! I’m glad we got an update and I’m even happier you two worked it out
Galaxy_sto_819 •8d
toxic bf much?? I get youre prolly happy and all but its so weird hed get jealous and act like that over a fucking lizard?? tell him he needs to communicate better
> | Doolset1409 • 7d
Toxic is such a weird way to refer to my boyfriend. He’s not toxic or mean, it was literally just a misunderstanding. Plus I found it cute and thought it wasn’t a big deal so buzz off
Prostakfhakjdk728 • 6d
get yourself out of that relationship before anything else goes wrong- its so weird for someone to act that way over a lizard
> | Doolset1409 • 6d
Fuck off if you don’t have anything nice to say. We’re good now and seriously don’t need you or your toxicity ruining our relationship.
>> | Prostakfhakjdk728 • 5d
“toxicity” and its just me telling you to tell youre bf to do better. talk with him cause thats just not right nor is it fair to you
Doolset1409 • OP • 3d
My boyfriend found this and thought it was funny. He also said the comments were all overdramatic and you guys seriously haven’t been in a proper relationship before. Me and M are happy with Richard and our three cats and will NOT be coming to reddit ever again (unless we find more ways to spice it up in the bedroom). Signing off!!