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whose collar is it anyways?

Summary:

This was heavily inspired by a tweet by @ilyalicious:

Shane: ok so I have a collar and

Ilya: wow you bought this for Anya :) thank u so much Shane I was really looking for this same exact same one for her but it was sold out everywhere *starts blubbering* you mean so much to me I really love u so much

Shane: oh … love you too ..

But also, Shane bought a collar and then realised that ACTUALLY he would rather get one for Ilya cause that‘s his baby aka his good puppy :)

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Shane didn’t like jewellery. He wore his Rolex because he was contractually obliged, and when he and Ilya got married, he would wear the ring because he once again be contractually obliged.

But that ring would be different. His wedding ring will definitely be different. That will be a signifier, and sold proof, that he and Ilya were together forever. As they should be. As it was always meant to be.

Something had clearly possessed him when he’d bought this. He just needed to figure out what. What exactly possessed him to want this?

Shane nervously rubbed the velvet box and then shuddered. He fucking hated velvet. Even the box was stupid.

Inside the stupid box was a custom baby-blue leather collar that had a large silver heart in the middle of it.

Before he could think anymore about it, he heard a car door slam in the distance and snapped the box shut before frantically shoving it as deep as he could between the couch cushions. He would find it a better hiding location as soon as Ilya went to sleep tonight.

“Canada is boring and okay, but Shane, I miss Dunkin’s-“ Ilya called out into the house as he threw his keys into the bowl near the door and took his shoes off.

Shane shoved a third cushion on top of it for good measure and forced his voice to sound normal. He didn’t need Ilya noticing that he was practically sweating buckets. “There are so many other coffee stores in the world. You can’t rule them all out just because you miss Dunkin’s.”

“That is stupid. Imagine if I told you that there are plenty of types of ginger ale, not just Canada Dry? You would cry.”

Shane rolled his eyes but before he could retort Ilya was stood in the living room.

Ilya eyed him curiously, but didn’t say anything. Not for the first time in their relationship Shane hated how well Ilya knew him. It was nice and perfect of course, but also, super annoying. God forbid a man tries to hide something from their most beloved one.

Ilya moved to stand in front of Shane and kissed him on the forehead. “Hi.”

“Hi,” Shane smiled.

“What are you doing?”

Shane hooked his fingers into Ilya’s belt loops. “Nothing. What are you doing?”

“Just wondering why my boyfriend looks like he’s contemplating jumping out the window?”

“Contemplating.” Shane grinned teasingly. “I’m impressed. Was that from this week’s New Yorker?”

Ilya rolled his eyes, dropping himself onto the couch, and pulling Shane down with him. “I know the word contemplating. I do not need boring New Yorker for that one.”

Shane kissed him on the cheek. “Oh my bad, must have been the Times then.”

Ilya huffed and tried to pull Shane onto his lap, but Shane paused. He could feel it. Right underneath his leg, was the box, the stupid box with the stupid collar was right underneath Shane’s stupid leg.

Shane stood up hastily and Ilya whined, tugging Shane’a hand for him to come back to him but Shane was already working on creating more distance between himself and the stupid couch.

”You want something to eat?” Shane practically squeaked. 

Shane needed there to be as much distance as possible between himself and that stupid box. He needed to forget it ever existed in the first place. Tomorrow. Tomorrow he was going to dig a very deep hole in the back garden when Ilya went to workout and he was going to bury it. Maybe when he fell asleep. Fuck, he might drive to a different city and find somewhere to bury it there. He couldn’t risk Anya digging it up. If she dug it up and Ilya found it then there would be even more questions to answer. Such as, why the fuck did you bury a dog collar in the garden? Did you murder a dog and need to hide the evidence? Are you secretly a sociopath? Did you recently murder a person and bury the evidence?

”I was planning on eating you,” Ilya grinned cheekily, smiling up at Shane from the couch. 

Shane rolled his eyes and continued to walk into the kitchen. “You can do that later,” he opened the fridge. “I’ll make us some salmon and then you can eat me.” 

He placed everything on the counter and then shouted, “but after we brush our teeth! I’m not kissing you if your breath is all fishy.” 

Shane expected Ilya to have some retort to that but he didn’t. He waited a moment for the rebuttal but when it never came, Shane continued with lunch. 

“Shane,” Ilya called out after a couple of minutes. 

“What?” 

“Why did you bury a collar into the cushions? Was I not meant to find this until later?” 

Of course Ilya found it. He found it in less than ten minutes. This proved Shane’s entire point, if he did ever want to hide something from Ilya, he was going to have to bury it in another city. The man was basically a bloodhound. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. 

This is fine. Of course it is fine. In fact, why is he even stressed about this? It’s not like Shane and Ilya weren’t kinky people. They definitely couldn’t be described as vanilla (something Shane only discovered a couple of months ago after speaking to Rose). Shane thought back to when he made Ilya pretend to be a murderer in the woods when they went rural camping. The only rule being that when Ilya caught him, he could do whatever he wanted to him. Even if Shane was saying “no” (which he absolutely was not, it was just a little role-play.) 

They had done significantly kinkier things than having Shane wear a goddamn collar. Holy shit, it was only last week that he was wearing a ball-gag after getting Ilya to pretend he was his boss and Shane had left a typo on a very important form. 

“Oh my God,” Shane muttered in despair to the empty kitchen, his cheeks aflame as he decided how he wanted to play this. 

Ilya would be into it. Ilya was into everything that Shane is into. They had yet to find a single kink that the other had no interest in, or at the very least, wasn’t willing to try. 

No. 

That wasn’t the problem. The problem was that Shane wasn’t sure that he was even into this. Which again was strange. Shane was pretty much into most things when it was him and Ilya. But with this he struggled to imagine himself wearing the collar. Everything else, yes. He was no stranger to having Ilya dominate him in every way, in fact, he loved it. How could he not? But this, the collar, the stupid, stupid collar, the collar that Shane actively searched for - well, apparently it almost seemed too perverse even for Shane. Was that it? Was that the problem with this? Murder role-play is fine but something as simple as a stupid collar was a step too far for Shane Hollander? 

Shane didn’t have a chance to ponder about it more, as Ilya walked into the kitchen clutching the offending velvet box in his hands. His eyes wide. 

“Oh my God,” Shane repeated to himself again, weakly. 

Fuck. He needed to decide how he was going to play this. Did he tell him he bought it but clearly regrets it? Try and explain how he bought it but he’s not completely sure why he even got it because it’s really not something that he envisioned for himself? It just called to him. The stupid collar called to him and before he even registered what he was doing, he was putting in his stupid bank details and now the stupid collar was here. It was here, and it was in his kitchen and it was currently in Ilya’s hands. 

But maybe if he just tried to embrace it? Ilya has always made everything good, even if Shane has hesitated. There is nothing in Shane’s life that Ilya has not managed to make better. There is nothing that Ilya has never not made sense of when Shane hasn’t been able to understand himself. He’s good at that. Ilya is so good at that. He helps Shane understand what Shane wanted even if Shane doesn’t have the words for it. 

Shane forced himself to grin mischievously, reminding his body to relax. “I bought this collar-“ 

“SHANE HOW DID YOU EVEN FIND THIS?” 

“Well, I just went on-“

Ilya circled around the kitchen island and pulled the collar out of its box. He was holding it like it was one of the most precious items he’d ever received. “I have wanted to get one of these for so long.” 

Oh? 

Shane laughed incredulously, trying to mask his nervousness. “Really?” 

Ilya smiled so brightly and so widely, Shane had to fight the urge to smush his cheeks into his hands. Sometimes it was hard to believe that this was the Russian Menace that half the league was so scared of. 

“I tried to get one of rudest before but they were always sold out! How did you even know I wanted this?” Ilya asked, he was too busy marvelling at the collar to even register the confusion that was starting to form on Shane’s face. “You are too perfect. Anya is going to love this so much.” 

“Anya?” 

“Anya!” Ilya shouted. 

Ilya thought this was a present for Anya. Of course he did. It was a dog collar. It was a dog collar that literally said-

Ilya held up the collar and inspected it even more closely. “You even got it engraved!” 

Shane nodded his head, reminding himself to smile. 

He did get it engraved. 

Anya came bounding in, running straight to Ilya; not even sparing a glance at Shane. 

“Hello my beautiful baby girl, sit!” 

Anya ignored him in favour of standing on her two back legs and wagging her tail excitedly. Ilya just laughed in delight. 

“Anya sit!” Shane shouted, his heart pounding in his chest. 

Yes, okay. This was good. This was perfect even. Shane didn’t know why he bought the stupid collar and here it was, being put to its proper use. It was actually going to go onto a proper dog, where it belongs. On a dog. Not a human being. Most definitely not on Shane. 

“She is such a good girl!” Ilya cooed, smiling at Shane. “She always listens to her Dadda. She knows her Papa is too soft for her. But Anya look, look what Dadda got for you.” 

Anya wagged her tail excitedly sitting down as Ilya clipped the collar around her neck. There, engraved in the centre of the large, metal heart was the inscription: 

Rozanov’s Baby 

Ilya wrapped his arms around her neck and kissed her loudly on top of her head. He sat there on the kitchen floor, rubbing his face into her fur. The picture of contentment. 

Shane felt sick. He stared, his eyes fixated on the metal heart moving gently in rhythm with Anya’s excited tail wag. His stomach twisted. 

Did he want that to be his collar? Was that meant for him? He had bought it for him? Right? That was the idea, right? Something about that collar had called to him, and he had bought it, who else was going to wear it if not him? 

Shane shook his head. He’s not a dog. This is irrational. He is Shane motherfucking Hollander and he will not be jealous of a dog. Even if that dog currently has his 6’3 devastatingly, beautiful Russian boyfriend wrapped around her. This is good. This is better. Shane doesn’t even like jewellery. He knows he would hate wearing a collar. This was a dog collar and it was meant to be a dog collar. 

Fuck. Why did it still not feel right? What did he want with the collar? 

Ilya stopped kissing Anya and stared at Shane, his face uncharacteristically soft and open. “This is one of the best presents you have ever gotten me. Ya tebya lyublyu.” 

All of Shane’s frustrations and jealousy melted from his boys, and where it dissipated, guilt settled in. Ilya was so earnest and grateful and Shane hadn’t even intended to buy it for Anya. He didn’t know what he wanted with the collar. This was a mistake and how could he tell him that? No. He would never tell him that. Shane would never do anything to get rid of that smile. That smile made the sun look dim.

Shane cleared his throat. “I love you too.” He smiled softly. “I’ve gotten you better gifts than a dog collar, Ilya.” 

Ilya shook his head, his smile not disappearing but morphing into something smaller, something tender. “Da, but this is special. She is my baby. She’s completely mine. I was always so desperate for this when I was younger. Always, always wanted a pet that was mine. Father always said no, of course. But now I have her, I have Anya, and I have you. Of course I have you. The two most special things in my life.” 

Shane blinked back his tears. He was too scared to speak. Ilya was always seldom to mention his childhood, and anytime he did bring any of it up, Shane tried to recite it into memory. He suddenly felt the overwhelming urge to buy Ilya every dog in the world and make sure they all had their won collars, all of them Ilya’s. Ilya deserved that and so much more. 

Ilya’s own eyes seemed to be a bit misty when he stood up off the floor. He moved to slowly back Shane up against the kitchen island. “Ya tebya lyublyu. You and her. My most precious things, da?” 

Shane nodded his head, placing a firm hand on the back of Ilya’s neck. “You’re the most precious thing in my life. You know this, right?” 

Ilya nodded and kissed his cheek, but Shane needed more. He needed to pour all of the love and longing and care he had for Ilya into him. Shane wanted to crack him open and crawl inside of him. He wanted to nestle himself into the crook of Ilya ribs. He settled for pulling him into a deep kiss. 

Shane’s hand moves from the nape of Ilya’s neck to his hair, and he pulls him as close as he could, needing to taste him more. The more he kissed Ilya, the more lax and incoherent Ilya got. Shane loved this. This was one of his favourite things he could do to Ilya. Something about kissing turned Ilya into a drunken man. Ilya has affectionately called Shane a cumslut more than once, and Shane admits it. For Ilya he is and at this point, he’s not ashamed of it but Ilya, Ilya is whore for kisses. 

Shane laughs to himself and pulls Ilya into the living room. The only thing Shane wanted was Ilya, and he wanted him now. Ilya trailed him without question. It was almost like he was tethered to Shane in some way. It was like there an invisible steps that pulled Ilya in Shane’s direction no matter how far he strayed. There was something almost dog-like in the way that Ilya followed Shane without thought. 

Just as the thought struck him, it was like the fog cleared. He thought back to the stupid collar, but this time it wasn’t him wearing it. No, that image never really fully formed in his head. At the time he couldn’t understand why. He didn’t understand why he was so drawn to it but couldn’t envision himself wearing it. It made sense now. 

Ilya. Ilya should be wearing the collar. 

Whilst he let this image form more clearly, Shane pulled Ilya back into another kiss as he walked him into the room. He could see it so clearly now. Ilya on his knees waiting for Shane with a collar on. His mouth wide and open whilst he waits to be fed Shane’s cock. The collar a stark contrast to his pale skin. He imagined his moles poking out from underneath it. 

As Shane licked the front of Ilya’s teeth, Shane stroked Ilya’s hair the same way he would Anya’s. Their similarities have always been clear to Shane. Ilya is Shane’s in the same way that Anya is Ilya’s; a loyal companion who is always waiting to please. He needs a gentle hand on him, not someone who it trying to tame or punish him for no reason, someone who allows him to run a little wild but knows where he belongs. 

Shane kissed his hair, his hand cupping Ilya’s face. The Russian hummed in appreciation, and Shane continued to kiss every feature on his face. His body just craving the solid warmth of Ilya’s. 

“Fucking hell, Shane,” Ilya whispered breathlessly. “You have killed me, da? I am in heaven now.” 

“I’d say yes,” Shane grinned, kissing the moles on Ilya’s neck. “But I’m still not convinced you’d get into heaven.” 

Ilya laughed loudly, crowding Shane until he fell back onto the couch. “You wound me. How can you say this? I am such a good boy.” 

Ilya settled himself onto the floor between Shane’s legs, pulling down the zipper and stared up at Shane with… well, puppy dog eyes. 

Shane’s brain short-wired and then quickly a plan began to materialise. Ilya needed a better collar than the one that Shane had bought for himself and Anya. He bought this one from some random on Etsy. He paid 120 dollars for it and it was nice. Worth the money. But Ilya deserves something special. Ilya’s collar would be custom made. He would find someone discreet to make this one. It would cost no less than 120 thousand dollars if he needs it to be. If not more. 

Ilya put his chin on Shane’s knee and stared up at him. “You don’t think so? You don’t think I’m a good boy?” 

Shane was going to make sure it was diamond encrusted. 

“You are. You’re always so good for me.” 

The words settled warmly into Shane’s chest. It was true. Ilya was so good for him. He loved to praise Ilya just as much, if not more, as Ilya loved to receive praise. Not that Ilya would admit it. It was something that Shane had long ago noticed about Ilya. There was a softness that appeared in Ilya when he was praised, a softness that only Shane was privy to see. A softness that Shane was protective over. He had worked to get this side out of Ilya, this side of Ilya belonged to him. 

A slight shyness seemed to overtake Ilya with those last four words, but it was overridden by his eagerness to please. 

Ilya pulled down Shane’s jeans and boxers, kissing the top of both his thighs. He let his breath ghost over the tip of Shane’s cock as he moves between each thigh. If Ilya had a tail it would be wagging right now. 

Fuck. Maybe he should get him a tail too. A collar and a tail. Maybe a leash? 

Shane grabbed a handful of Ilya’s hair and pulled, holding him still in front of Shane’s cock. 

Ilya made a low, whiny noise in the back of this throat. “Only for you, da?” 

“Only good for me.” Shane nodded his head, and with his grasp still tight on Ilya’s hair, he forced him to nod with him. 

This wasn’t new to Shane. Most of the time Ilya was in control and he loved to be in control but Shane knew that sometimes Ilya needed this. Sometimes it wasn’t even about needing this, sometimes Ilya wanted this. Fuck. Shane wanted this. Sometimes Shane liked to be in control. He didn’t want to be the peg, but definitely liked having control over Ilya. He knew that sometimes Ilya needed to know that he was good. And Shane - well, honestly, Shane had made a promise a long time ago that he would always give Ilya exactly what he needed and wanted. 

Ilya stared at Shane and wetted his lips, before his eyes move to Shane’s dick and then back to his eyes, fluttering his eyelashes. 

Shane gave a soft smile and nodded. He tightened his grip on his hair and guided him to his dick. 

Definitely a leash. A leash so he could guide him wherever he needed him. Custom made as well. His baby deserved only the best. 

Ilya hollowed his cheeks and swallowed around Shane, his eyes never leaving Shane’s face. He comes back up and sucks at the tip so sweetly Shane nearly came immediately. 

Shane swallowed hard at the sight, letting go of Ilya’s hair, he throws his head back and moans, “Fuck, Ilya, baby, you’re so-“ 

They didn’t really do pet names. Well, Shane didn’t really do pet names. But every now then “Baby” would slip from his lips and it just felt so right. Ilya was his baby. Anya was Ilya’s baby but Ilya’s was Shane’s. 

He wasn’t able to finish whatever he wanted to say. Ilya had taken all of Shane and had his nose on Shane’s pubic bone. He stared up at Shane adoringly, his eyes watering. 

Shane rocked his hips a little, basking in the warmth of Ilya's mouth, watching as spit was forced out of Ilya’s mouth the more he rocked. His hair was all messed up from where Shane had been gripping it, his face had tear tracks coming down steadily and spit was pouring at the side of his mouth from where Shane’s dick was stuffed in between his swollen lips. 

Fuck. 

Ilya taps Shane’s thigh, encouraging him to move.

Shane lost what little control he had left, swearing loudly, a guttural sound broke from the back of his throat and his hips slammed forwards in reckless force. His whole body seized forwards in search of Ilya’s mouth, his hands fisting in his blonde curls, and dragging Ilya further down his cock. His hips continued to piston, the desperation to cum overriding his entire system, his cock punching deep into Ilya’s tight throat again and again whilst spit and pre-cum smeared down his chin. 

Ilya looked wrecked and filthy and so fucking-

“Baby, fuck, you’re so- fuck- perfect.” Shane rasped, his teeth gritted whilst he fucked Ilya’s face harder. 

Ilya clawed at Shane’s thighs, his nails leaving dark, red marks all along said thighs. That was his mark. If he was a dog, he would have cocked up a leg and pissed on him. Right now though, this was Ilya's way of saying he was here. 

Ilya Rozanov was here and Shane Hollander is his. 

A broken, almost inhumane sound tore from Shane’s body and his hips slammed forward one last time before he came, spilling straight down Ilya’s throat. 

The whole world seemed to disappear, the only thing he could feel or hear was his pounding heartbeat. It was almost too loud and it was definitely going too fast. Shane didn’t trust that his heart wasn’t trying to leave the confines of his body. He was certain that at any point now, his chest was going to crack open and his heart was going to fall onto his lap for Ilya. 

Ilya. 

Ilya who was still crouched before him, still staring at him with his eyes wide, his mouth still swollen and glistening with his dick in between his lips. 

Ilya swallowed it all, licking his lips when Shane finally released his grip in his hair and allowed him to finally pull-off. He didn’t wipe his mouth, but just tilted his head with a soft small smirk. He stared back at Shane as if he had just won a competition that Shane wasn’t even aware he was playing in. Even covered in spit and cum, Ilya was able to look a little smug. 

“Look at the fucking mess you’ve made of your pretty face,” Shane muttered, leaning forwards and pushing some of the cum and spit back into his swollen lips. 

Shane hummed thoughtfully and watched as Ilya stared back in slight confusion whilst lapping up everything Shane pushed into his mouth, which then made him laugh softly. Ilya was a cocky boy. But he was a cocky boy still on his knees for Shane. Ilya hadn’t even tried to move away yet. He was waiting for his next instruction. He was waiting for his next instruction because he was Shane’s good boy. 

Shane leaned back and softly slapped both his thighs, in the same manner he’d watched Ilya do a thousand times when he wanted Anya to climb onto his lap. Ilya practically jumped onto him. Tired but still eager. Proving what Shane already knew; Ilya is always willing to do what Shane needed him to do. 

Shane should tell him to go wash his face. The back of his mind reminds him that this is objectively gross. Ilya is covered in spit and cum. He should send him to the bathroom, make him clean up and then kiss him. Shane hated mess. The only thing that Shane hated more than mess was not being able to kiss Ilya when he wanted to, so he pushed all noise to the back of his head and grabbed both sides of Ilya’s face. He kissed him messily, licking the inside of Ilya’s mouth, and gently pinching his nipples over his top. 

Ilya was still fully clothed and something about that was really doing it for Shane. 

Ilya moaned loudly in response, as Shane hummed at the taste of himself mixed with Ilya’s saliva. He could faintly taste nicotine and reminded himself to berate Ilya for sneaking one, but he didn’t have the heart to do it now. Not when his baby has already been so good. 

“You are too perfect for me Hollander,” Ilya groaned against Shane’s mouth. 

Shane pulled away abruptly and Ilya whined. Shane pulled on his hair, forcing him to look at him again. ”No. I am not too perfect for you. No one is too perfect for you.” Shane kissed him again chastily. “You’re perfect.” 

Ilya nodded dazedly, too out of it to disagree. “Perfect together, da?” 

”Exactly.” 

That earned Ilya a bite on his bottom lip. It was sharp and sudden and exactly what Ilya needed. He winced and tried to pull away, but Shane didn’t let him. He uses a hand and forces Ilya to open his mouth wide, before spitting into it. He spits right onto his tongue, and then forces his fingers into his mouth to collect the wetness. 

Shane shoved his wet hand into Ilya’s pants and sucked on the bottom lip he had just bitten, soothing it out. 

Ilya tilted his head back involuntarily as Shane’s slick hand found its rhythm, but Shane’s mouth continued to chase him. He swapped between wet opened mouthed kisses, and soft nips. All of which received a moan. 

“Shane,” Ilya panted heavily. 

Shane knew what he was asking for, but he didn’t care. His teeth sunk into Ilya’s neck again, making him moan even louder, whilst trying to quicken the pace of his hand. 

“Good puppy, you’ll get what you want. I’m going to give you everything you want.” Shane muttered into his neck. 

It was the same coaxing but commanding voice Shane used on Anya, and it had an even stronger effect on Ilya. He whined loudly, and began to rub himself on Shane’s thighs, pressing as close as he physically could. 

Ilya was practically humping the air. He was shameless. His back was arching, his thighs were shaking from where they were planted on either side of Shane, moaning so loudly and wantedly that Shane was happy his smirk was hidden in Ilya’s neck. 

Ilya really was like a bitch in heat. 

Nobody else got Ilya like this. Only Shane. The idea of it nearly made him hard again. He felt like the luckiest man on Earth. 

Shane moved his hand faster, he knew Ilya was close. His other hand was planted firmly on Ilya’s hip encouraging him as he chased his relief. 

“I need-“ 

Shane hummed knowingly, lifting his head up from Ilya’s neck to kiss him messily on the mouth. Ilya groaned and spilled in between them. Shane peppered kisses all over Ilya’s face as he came down back onto Earth.  

Ilya let his head fall onto Shane’s shoulder, but Shane wasn’t finished with him just yet. 

“Ilya, baby,” 

Ilya grunted softly in response, pleasure had left him boneless and sated. He mouthed on Shane’s shoulder, a whimper escaping as he let Shane know he was listening. 

“I know you’re so tired,” Ilya nodded his head against Shane, too exhausted to even lift his head up to Shane. “But, there’s still mess. Are you going to be good and clean it up for me?” 

Ilya nodded his head again, but didn’t move from Shane’s shoulder. 

Shane gently grabbed onto Ilya’s hair and pulled him back, giving him a kiss on his nose. He makes eye contact with him again as he brings his fingers to Ilya’s mouth and feeds him back his own cum. 

Ilya moans around his fingers and sniffs loudly the tears begin to fall again. 

”It’s okay, baby. I’ve got you.” Shane assures him, stroking his cheek with his thumb whilst Ilya suckled on his two other fingers. “You did so good for me. You’re so good. I love you so much.” 

After a few minutes Shane pulls his fingers from Ilya’s mouth, and wipes the tears from his face. Pulling him back into his neck, where he waits for Ilya’s breathing to slow down as he rubs his back soothingly. 

“Ilya, baby?” 

“Shane?” 

“Are you okay?” 

Ilya laughed into Shane’s neck. “Silly question. Never been better.” 

Shane grinned and kissed the top of Ilya's head. “Okay then. Time to get cleaned up then.” 

Ilya whined loudly in protest, nuzzling his head further into Shane’s neck. “Nyet. We should stay like this forever.” 

“I don’t want to be covered in cum forever.” 

Ilya laughed and playfully nibbled Shane’s bicep. “Liar. You are big fat liar. You love cum. You love my cum.” 

“I’m sorry,” Shane huffed, rolling his eyes playfully. “Who just swallowed whose cum? Did I just swallow two loads of cum, or was it you?” 

“I never said I didn’t want to be covered in cum forever.” 

“Oh, so you want to be covered in cum forever?” Shane asked, gently tucking a sweaty curl behind Ilya’s ear. 

Ilya flushed red. “What I want is none of your business.” 

Shane patted his side as Ilya got up from his lap unsteadily, Shane laughed as he got off from the coach. He reached out a hand to steady him. “What you want is most definitely my business.” 

Ilya rolled his eyes and went straight up the stairs and into the bathroom with Shane trailing behind. Not so subtly appreciating his view.

By the time they both came back downstairs, they were both considerably cleaner and smelling of the same shampoo and soap. Shane fell onto the sofa first, searching for the remote to watch an old hockey re-run he knew was due on soon, but whilst he was searching for through the channels, Ilya dropped onto the floor in front of him. Shane stared at the back of his head in confusion, but watched as Ilya patted his thighs to get Anya to come sit with him. 

“Hello my girl,” Ilya cooed. “Are you happy? Are you a happy girl because Dadda bought you a new collar?” 

Shane rolled his eyes and nudged Ilya with his foot. “Stop calling me Dadda, people are genuinely going to start thinking we have children.” 

“Shane!” Ilya covered Anya’s ears dramatically. “You begged me to take paternity test, I did. She is your daughter. Stop with these lies. She looks just like you, how can you deny being her Dadda?” 

Shane snorted despite himself, reaching down to stroke behind Anya’s as her tail happily thumped against the front of the sofa. “You’re the liar. She’s basically your twin.” 

“She has your eyes,” Ilya said seriously, cradling Anya’s face between his hands. “And your attitude. She also gets grumpy with me if I do not want to do a 10K run even though it is a Saturday.” 

“That’s because unlike you, Anya is smarter than she looks and clearly understands that health doesn’t care what day of the week it is.” 

Ilya gasps quietly, staring into Anya’s eyes. “Ah, you hear that my baby? Yes. Dadda insults both of us in our own home.” 

Anya wagged her tail again before sneezed loudly into Ilya’s face. 

Shane burst into laughter as Ilya recoiled in disgust and betrayal. “That’s karma for being stupid.” 

Ilya responded by wiping his face on Shane’s joggers as Shane tried to smack his head away. “I am viciously abused by everybody in this household. There is no respect. I do everything I can for everybody-“

Shane rolled his eyes and tuned him out as he settled himself into the couch again as he turned his attention to the game that was starting. He had lived with Ilya long enough now that he knew at some point you just had to ignore him, otherwise he’ll continue the bit forevermore. 

He reached out a hand and gently nudged Ilya’s head so it lolled against his knee, and watched as Anya made herself comfortable with her head lying on Ilya’s lap. 

Her new collar glinting in the sunlight. 

Shane weaved his hand into Ilya’s hair and stared at him before pulling out his phone with his spare hand. Not wanting to disturb Ilya as he settled, he went through his history and found the company page again. 

Shane double-checked his requested engraving before checking out. 

Hollander’s Baby

He grinned. Unlike Shane, Ilya actually liked wearing jewellery and there wasn’t a doubt in his mind that Ilya was going to find this hot. 

 

Notes:

Pls pls pls tell me if you liked this or not pahahahahhaahaha I need the feedback ! Also pls pls pls tell me if you have any ideas that you would like me to try and write :)