Chapter Text
"Hey, Kirby, I'll meet you at the car. I have to pack my stuff away still," Kaiden nudged his roommate as he walked into the locker room. He was coming from the gym where he had put in a few extra reps while practice was ending.
"Alright, see you at the car." Kirby walked out of the locker room with Cole and Nick. He was the only one left, so he took a deep breath and put away his pads. He hummed along to the song in his head as he packed up and got changed.
"Hey, Kaiden?"
"Oh, shit!" Kaiden jumped, his voice jumping an octave with him.
"Sorry, it's just me." Arber laughed. "I didn't mean to spook ya."
"Hey Arber," Kaiden sighed," I thought I was the only one left."
"I came back to see if you left yet. Kirby said you were in here. I wanted to ask you something." Arber swallowed down his nerves. "Do you want to go on a date with me?"
Arber's eyes shifted nonstop. He looked at Kaiden, but couldn't gauge his reaction, so he looked at the floor, then Kaiden's nameplate above his locker. His hand was on the back of his neck like it was sore.
Kaiden's first thought was that this was some cruel joke. But Arber seemed so nervous and the blush on his face painted him a genuine man. After a minute, Kaiden smiled.
"Where are you taking me?"
"I have a reservation at a restaurant downtown for Friday."
"Friday, like next Friday?"
"No, like tomorrow. I know it's short notice but-"
"You're lucky I don't have plans already." Kaiden winked and mirrored Arber's awkward smile with a smirk.
"I know, I made the reservation a week ago because we have tomorrow off. I was gonna ask you on Monday. I kept chickening out."
Kaiden didn't even try to hold back a giggle. "That's cute. When are you picking me up?"
"How does 6pm sound?"
"Works for me."
"Awesome." Arber pumped his fist and walked away. Kaiden kept giggling as he watched him leave.
Arber opened the door and hopped in the passenger seat. "He said yes!"
"Nice!" Slaf cheered.
"I think he... giggled at me?"
"Did you say something funny?"
"I told him about me chickening out and he said it was cute. But I've never heard him laugh like that before."
"You've also never asked him out before."
"Did you just make a good point?"
"I have my moments." Slaf smiled proudly and put the car in reverse.
Kaiden squealed as he jumped into the car. "You will NEVER believe what just happened." His voice was high and feminine, ready to start gossiping.
"What?" Kirby looked over, distracted from starting the car.
"Arber just asked me on a date!" He widened his eyes and smiled wildly at Kirby.
Kirby stared back, his eyebrows furrowed and his jaw agape. "What?"
"Yup! Tomorrow! Because we don't have practice! He's gonna pick me up at six. I'm gonna go get my nails done and I have a haircut already scheduled, so I'll look all pretty." Kaiden held out his hands in front of him to look at his nails as he spoke. He looked over at Kirby after a little too long of a pause. "You ok?"
"Yeah." Kirby looked like he was contemplating the universe.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing, sorry, I'm just shocked."
"I was surprised, too. I didn't even know he was gay."
"How did he know you were... that you would be up for it?"
"I don't think he did. He said he kept chickening out. He seemed so nervous when he was talking to me."
"And you said yes?"
"Yeah, I think it will be fun! I mean I couldn't say no to him, he's hot as fuck," Kaiden laughed.
"Fair enough." Kirby started the car. He wanted to focus on something else. He felt overwhelmed. Kaiden changed the subject, talking about something he saw on tiktok. Kirby listened quietly as Kaiden continued to ramble. Eventually, Kirby broke his silence, "Are you gonna tell him?"
Kaiden sucked his teeth. "I haven't thought about that yet. I want to see how this date goes."
"What if it doesn't go well?"
"What makes you say that?"
"Just looking out for you. Arber is our teammate, you can't just avoid him if this goes sideways."
"I know." Kaiden looked out the window. "I just wanted to give it a chance."
Kirby sighed and nodded his head. "Ok, just be careful."
"I will, and hey, what if it goes well huh? Then what? I think I would be happy."
Months ago, while the Canadiens battled in the first round of the playoffs, Arber sat in his stall, watching his teammates cheer. They had just won game four, forcing a game five in their series against the Caps.
Cole and Slaf were singing together after Marty rallied the team with a speech, but it was Kaiden that caught Arber's attention. He was sitting in his stall, singing along with Slaf and Cole quietly enough that no one could hear.
He wondered what was stopping him from belting out the song with his teammates. He watched closely, noticing more little details: the way Kaiden's golden blonde hair fell to his shoulders, the way his eyes shined under the lights, the way his chest shimmered with sweat.
Slaf bumped him out of his trance, taking the seat next to him. "You're staring."
"What? Oh no, I just spaced out."
"Whatever you say man." Slaf laughed at him.
"Shut up, asshole." Arber punched Slaf's arm, laughing along with him.
"He is pretty."
"Dude, shut up." Arber threw another hit. Slaf grabbed his arm, feigning injury, his face twisting in pain.
"What? Kirby is hot, I'm just being honest."
"Oh I was... nevermind me, are you staring now?" Arber chuckled.
"No, I space out." Slaf stood up and walked away.
"He's so weird," Arber told himself under his breath.
Kaiden laid in bed sweating. It was late August and the apartment was boiling. A short skirt and a crop top proved to be the solution.
The water bottle that sat on the sidetable was empty. Kaiden wanted water. A trip to the kitchen proved to be the solution.
Kirby thought he was the only one home. When he heard the ice machine from the kitchen, he had to go investigate. He found his roommate holding a water bottle to the fridge water dispenser wearing nothing but a pink tennis skirt and a black crop top that showed off a toned stomach Kirby had seen before, just not in this context.
"Wha-" The water bottle clattered to the floor, spilling all of its freezing cold contents onto Kirby's socks.
"Kirby! I can explain! Oh shit!" Kaiden ran for the paper towels and dropped to the floor, frantically mopping up the water with trembling hands. Kirby bent down and slowly took the paper towels. He took Kaiden's hands in his own as they shook and stood back up, pulling Kaiden with him.
"I don't care." Kirby looked into Kaiden's eyes, projecting his sincerity. "You can wear whatever you want. I'm not going to judge you."
Kaiden let go of a sob and followed Kirby's pull into his chest. The sobs shook both of them as Kaiden stopped hiding it. Kirby held his roommate close to his chest and gave the moment time to settle. He let it settle into his bones with the sobs that wracked through his skeleton even though they didn't come from him.
Kaiden's breathing gradually steadied itself. Kirby felt his arms shift as the head of blonde hair pulled away from his tear soaked shirt. Kaiden's lips trembled under the weight of something unspoken and Kirby pulled himself away from staring at them.
"Can I tell you something?"
"Of course"
"It's more than just what I'm wearing." Kaiden held a pause.
"Ok, what else is it?"
"It's-it's everything. I think I'm trans. I want to be more feminine. Not just more, I want to be feminine. I want to be a woman. I- I-" Another sob interrupted Kaiden.
"Hey, it's ok. How long have you known?"
"As long as I can remember. My family was never supportive and I grew up playing hockey with a bunch of boys. I didn't want to lose my family, my friends, my sport, my- my roommate." Tears welled up in Kaiden's wet eyes.
"You won't lose me. I'm right here." Kirby pulled Kaiden into a hug. Small sobs settled back into his chest. "So, would you like me to call you something different?"
Kaiden laughed through a sob. "No, I like Kaiden. I would like to use different pronouns, not that you can talk about this to anyone."
"I won't tell a soul, pinky promise." Kirby held out his pinky to her. She laughed and twisted it with her own.
"Thank you."
Kaiden woke up to her alarm. She was motivated to get up for once by her excitement for her date with Arber. She skipped to the bathroom to start her morning routine. She washed her face and continued her skin care routine when there was a knock at the door.
“Hey, do you know how much longer you’re going to be? I really have to pee,” Kirby said from the other side of the door.
“You can come in!”
“What?”
“Just come in! I’m not gonna watch.”
“No, I’ll wait.” Kirby walked back to his room shaking his head.
Kaiden finished her skin care with a little more haste than usual and shouted down the hall, “All yours, Kirby.”
“Thank you,” Kirby shouted back from his room.
Kaiden threw on a sweatshirt and looked at the time. She panicked a little, realizing she was going to be late. She stole a piece of the bacon that Kirby was making for breakfast on her way out the door. Kirby didn't protest.
“Gotta go!” she said, taking a bite of the bacon.
“Have a good day.” Kirby smiled watching her struggle to put on her shoe with one hand, the other busy holding the stolen bacon. She got down to the car and headed to her hair appointment.
“You're five minutes late!” the hair dresser said as Kaiden came speed walking into the salon.
“I know, Emma, I’m sorry,” she said as she stood out of breath at the counter. Emma brought her over to a chair and wrapped an apron around her.
“So what are we doing today?” Emma asked as she played with Kaiden’s hair.
“I just want a little trim and then I want you to style it. I’m going on a date later and I want to look good,” she responded.
“Oh a date? With who?”
“Just someone I've known for a little.”
“Girl or guy?” Emma asked, snipping away the ends of Kaiden’s hair.
“Uh,” Kaiden hesitated.
“Ok, so a guy. Good for him, you're pretty.”
“Emma, not right now.”
“Sorry, I know, I know. Because my shop is soooo busy.” She waved her comb around the salon. One older woman sat under a hair dryer with no one else in sight. The other stylist must have been in her office.
“I’m just being-”
“Careful. I know the drill.”
“Thank you.”
“So where are they taking you?”
Kaiden smiled and huffed out a laugh. “We have a reservation for a restaurant downtown”
“That sounds nice.”
“They made the reservation a week ago, but just asked me out yesterday, kept chickening out.”
“Awww, that's adorable.”
“That's what I said. He was so nervous when he asked me. It was cute.”
“You're already daydreaming and you guys haven't even gone on your date yet. You're down bad.”
“I’m not! It was just one endearing moment.”
“Sweety, ok. First of all, your voice, you said you were being careful. Second, I’m just happy for you, you seem excited.”
“I am,” Kaiden spoke calmly and sighed. “Kirby told me it would be messy. He seemed kinda upset.”
“Maybe he’s jealous,” Emma said teasingly. “Anyone would be jealous of you, even I’m a little jealous.”
Kaiden laughed. “He’s just protective of me. He doesn't want me getting hurt is all.”
“Why does he think it will be messy?”
“Oh, well, because they're a… mutual friend of ours and… I can't just drop him if we don't work out.”
“Oh my god, is it one of your teammates?” Emma said in a hushed voice.
“I- no?”
“You can't lie to me, girl. I know you too well. Oh my god you have to tell me who it is.”
“I can't tell you, not here. You know this.”
“Yeah whatever, blah blah careful. Is it Slafkovsky?”
“No! Emma!”
“Oh, how about Caufield?”
“No, we're not-”
“Arber Xhekaj.”
Kaiden paused. “Emma, no-”
“Oh! It so is him. I guessed it, didn't I?”
Kaiden sighed. “Ok, yes, but-”
“I knew it.”
“You can't-”
“I won't tell a soul, not even my best friend. Ok maybe my best friend, but that is it I promise. And she doesn't tell anyone, except for me, like anything, so your secret is safe. Now let’s go wash your hair.”
“Hey, which shirt do you like better?”
“The other one,” Slaf said, not even looking up from his switch.
“You can actually help me and not just be a dick.” Arber slapped the back of Slaf’s head.
“HEY! Ok, fine. I like that one,” he said pointing to the plain navy blue shirt.
“Oops! wrong answer,” Arber said as he held up the black shirt with short sleeves and walked into his room. He walked out with some pants options.
“I won't play your games, I’m busy,” Slaf said angrily, not looking up again.
“Ok, buddy. I’m sorry. I’ll pick the ones you pick this time.”
“The black ones are nice, all black is hot.”
“Good choice.” Arber spun around and went to get dressed. “Oh! Can you do me a favor? Can you text Kirby and ask what Kaiden’s favorite flower is?”
“Why?”
“I think Kaiden would like flowers and Kirby is his roommate. He might know.”
“Ok, fine.” Slaf picked up his phone and texted Kirby. He got an immediate response.
“Snap dragons,” Slaf yelled down the hallway.
“Wow, that was fast,” Arber yelled back from his room. He left a button at the top of his shirt undone and picked out a belt with a simple silver buckle. He added a few rings and a thin chain bracelet around his wrist and he walked out to show Slaf. “What do we think?”
Slaf looked up from his phone. His cheeks turned a little pink and he faltered for words. “You look great,” he choked out.
“Is it really that bad?” Arber looked down and brushed himself off. “I’ll go pick out something else.”
“No, no! I mean it. You look great. Don't change.”
“Ok, thought you were making fun of me for a second.” Arber went back to his room and grabbed a coat before heading for the door.
“Have fun!”
“Thanks, buddy. I will. I’ll see you when I get home.”
“Text me if I should give you guys some space later.” Slaf winked.
“No, not tonight at least. I can't risk it. I haven't told him yet.”
“Oh, I see. Well, still have fun.”
“Thank you, bud.”
Arber hopped out of the shower. He felt refreshed as he dragged his towel over his face. He looked in the mirror and dried off, wrapping the towel around his waist when he was done. Slaf wasn't home, so he hadn't brought a change of clothes to the shower with him. He walked out into the hallway with just the towel snug around his hips.
“Hey, Arber.”
Arber froze in his spot. Slaf stood there staring at his chest. The confusion on his roommate’s face made Arber panic.
“Hey, are you ok?”
“I’m fine.” Arber rushed to his room and shut the door. He leaned back against it to try and catch his breath.
“Are you sure you're ok? What happened to you? That looks bad.” Slaf was quiet for a moment on the other side of the door. “Should I call for help? Did you do that or did someone do that to you?”
“I’m fine,” Arber snapped.
“I’m just worried.”
Arber sighed and opened the door. “They're from a surgery. They're all healed now. I promise I’m ok.”
“When did you get surgery? Was it your lungs?”
Arber huffed out a laugh that he couldn't hold back. “A long time ago, buddy. And it wasn't my lungs.” He thought for a second as Slaf still looked at him with concern. “I can tell you about it if you want, just let me put on pants at least.”
“Ok.” Slaf waited patiently outside the door while Arber threw on shorts. He let Slaf back in and they sat on the edge of his bed.
“I got a chest reconstruction surgery.” Arber paused and took a deep breath.
“Can I ask why?”
“Yeah,” Arber laughed. “I used to have boobs. I got rid of them mostly to help me pass better as a man. I never felt like they fit me.”
“Well, it worked. I never knew you used to be a woman.”
“Thanks, buddy.” Arber laughed out his anxiety.
“How long ago? You said a long time.”
“I was sixteen. I was young, but my parents helped me push for it. They've always been super supportive. Same with my brother.”
“Does it hurt still?” Slaf reached out a hand, but didn't touch Arber.
“Nope, you can touch them.” He quietly sighed with relief under Slaf’s touch. “You're taking this a lot better than I thought you would.”
“You're my friend. You can tell me anything.”
“You can't tell anyone else about this. Not even Cole. No one knows about this besides the team doc, not even Marty knows. If anyone finds out, I’ll be kicked off the team.”
“I won't. My lips are zip.” Slaf zipped his lips and smiled. Arber couldn't help but laugh.
“Alright, so tell me about Arber.” Emma sat down in her chair across the desk from Kaiden. She had a small office in the back of her salon that she turned into a nail business. She usually just made custom gel nails and shipped them to customers, but she always made exceptions for Kaiden. Afterall, Kaiden’s sister was her best friend.
“There isn't much to tell yet. I just said yes to one date. I couldn’t say no. You know what he looks like.”
“Yeah and he’s fine as fuck.”
“I genuinely couldn't say no. I would rather have died. I know it’s probably not the best idea, but come on.”
“Oh, girl, I totally understand you.”
“Kirby didn't.”
“Kirby just can't appreciate how fine that man is in the same way you can.”
“See that's the thing, he totally can. He’s mentioned guys before, even guys on our team.”
“Oh, like who?”
“Mainly Slaf, but sometimes Cole.”
“He’s so real for that.”
“He didn't react at all like how I thought he would. I mean, I told him immediately after it happened, too. I could've kept it a secret.”
“How did he react exactly?”
“He seemed so shocked, like it was unbelievable that anyone would ask me out. And he got kinda pissy on the ride home telling me ‘what if it doesn't go well’ and shit.”
“Honey, he’s worried about you. He was probably shocked someone got to you before he did. Although he shouldn't be, he’s been taking his damn sweet time.”
“I don't know, I don't think he’s jealous. I just think he’s protective of me. He always has been.”
“Then, he’s just being a good friend. Either way, he cares about you.”
“I know, I just hope I can still talk about my date with him. I want to be able to tell him all about it without him getting all pissy again.”
“He would listen to you talk about whatever you wanted for hours. I’ve seen you two together.”
“That’s not true.”
“Yes, girl, it is.”
When Emma was done with Kaiden’s nails, they said goodbye. She always kept the manicure subtle for Kaiden and never used any colors. She cleaned up his nails and used a vitamin clear coat on each finger, but he still came back every two weeks. The two of them would talk and Emma always looked forward to it. Kaiden was her easiest client.
When she got home, Kaiden found Kirby on the couch with his face in his phone.
“Whatcha doing?” Kaiden leaned over the back of the couch to peek at Kirby’s phone. Kirby scrambled to put it away.
“Nothing… texting Slaf.”
“Why’d you hide it?”
“Because it’s none of your business.”
“Alright, come help me pick out an outfit.” Kaiden skipped down the hallway. Kirby followed not far behind and sat on the edge of her bed. She rifled through her closet and pulled out a cardigan and a white button down shirt.
“Ok, which one?”
“The sweater is nice. I like that color blue.”
“I like it too.” She threw the sweater at Kirby and went to a drawer in her dresser.
“Ok, these black jeans, or these dress pants?”
“I don't know. They're both black.”
“Ok, let me try them on and then we can pick.”
“Ok.” Kirby was about to get up to leave the room when Kaiden started stripping. She pulled off her pants and stepped into the dress pants. Kirby stayed put and let himself stare, feeling caught off guard. He couldn't tell what was different about this from when they were in the locker room. Maybe nothing was different and the locker room felt this jarring, too. Kirby had just followed everyone else’s lead of not caring.
“How do these look?” Kaiden twisted her hips to try and see more angles in her full length mirror. “Do you want to see them with the sweater?”
Kaiden pulled off her shirt without an answer. She found a small white tee in her dresser and slipped it on over her head. It fit snug enough that Kirby could see her nipples through it.
She grabbed the sweater from Kirby and put it on. Her shirt rode up as she pulled the cardigan over her head, too lazy to undo the buttons. Kirby felt his blood rush. He grabbed a pillow to hold in his lap. It was pink and fluffy and shaped like a flower, the kind of thing Kaiden hides when they have company.
“Ok, how does this look?”
“It looks good.”
“Do you think the jeans would look better? I think these pants don't go with this sweater really. Arber said the restaurant wasn't too fancy. I can get away with jeans.”
She pulled off her pants again, switching into the jeans. They weren't too skinny, but they hugged her in all the right places. Kirby let his eyes wander without a hint of self control. He knew how hard he was and he had to get out of there soon.
“Yup, those look great. I think you found your outfit.”
“Perfect! Do you think makeup would be too much?”
“You could probably get away with it. You usually make it subtle.”
“Ok, then I’m gonna do that. Thank you for the help.”
“Of course.” Kirby tossed the pillow back in its place and practically ran to his room. He locked the door and sat on his bed. His hand combed through his hair in frustration as he let out a deep sigh. He reached down into his pants and pulled out his hard cock that left a small wet stain on his briefs. It was leaking precum as he stroked it in his fist. He swallowed back a moan that Kaiden would have heard if he let it go.
He was tempted to let her hear him. Maybe he could stop her from going out with Arber and have her all to himself, but that small part of him got buried quickly. He knew how excited she was and he had lost his chance. He pulled his fist away and punched the bed next to him, panting.
His brain conjured her, sitting in front of him on the floor in that white t-shirt. Her tongue hung out of her mouth as she looked up at him with glossy eyes. He reached back to his cock and pumped his fist until he came all over his hardwood floor. He flopped backwards, his chest heaving with his heavy breaths.
“Bye, Kirby! I’m leaving!” Kaiden yelled, knocking on the door.
“Have fun!” Kirby shouted without moving.
Arber walked up to the door of a small florist shop. The store front was painted a green that complimented the brick walls above and around it. Flowers lined the sidewalk and the doorway outside to attract customers and the occasional bumblebee. A bell above the door rang as Arber stepped in. He used his very best french at first, but the cashier took pity on him when he couldn't find the word for snapdragons. They chose a delicate bouquet of baby's breath and snapdragons that the florist tied a pink ribbon around. She handed Arber a pack of flower food with no extra charge.
“Merci,” said Arber as the small bell rang again above his head. He sat the flowers gently in the passenger seat. A smile crept its way onto his proud face. He thought back to all the times he caught Kaiden checking their nails. He had noticed the flowery scent Kaiden wore when they met outside of practice. He remembered the line of skincare products in the bathroom at the apartment Kaiden shared with Kirby.
It was endearing how much Kaiden took care of themself. Outside of practice, Kaiden always had a delicacy to them that they were able to separate from when they were on the ice. Arber found this switch up from strength to beauty more attractive the more he noticed. One person balancing all of that on their shoulders was incredible to Arber. He watched Kaiden’s every move with admiration.
Arber pulled up outside of Kaiden’s apartment building with five minutes to spare. She stepped out of the doors and smiled brightly at Arber who stood there waiting to open the car door.
“Hi!” Arber said, sounding more nervous than he even knew he was.
“Hi,” Kaiden replied in a low voice. She wasn't comfortable enough yet to speak in a more feminine voice around Arber. She wanted to dearly, she just wasn't ready.
“You look amazing.” Arber opened the door and waited for her to hop in the car.
“Not too bad yourself.” Kaiden smirked and winked at Arber as she sat down, picking up the flowers.
“What are these?” She looked at them with wonder twinkling in her eyes.
“Kirby told me they were your favorite.”
“What? Oh my gosh these are beautiful.” Her tone wavered as she held back her melodic feminine voice. “When did he tell you that I love snapdragons?”
“I had Slaf text him. I knew I wanted to get you flowers, I just had no idea what to get.”
“They're beautiful, thank you.”
“Of course.”
The short drive was quiet and awkward. The two of them relied on the radio music to avoid silence. Kaiden held her flowers the whole drive and only put them down once she got out of the car. They walked in together, Arber apologizing when he bumped Kaiden’s hand. Kaiden laughed and assured him it was okay.
“Hello, how many?” The host greeted them from his small stand.
“I have a reservation for Arber Xhekaj, for two.”
“I see it right here, ok, right this way.” The host led them to a small table near the bar. It was decorated with a white table cloth and a candle, matching all the others.
They sat down across from each other and thanked the host. A waitress came around with water and took their drink orders. Kaiden ordered a cocktail and Arber got a draft beer he wanted to try.
They discussed what they were going to order. They talked about the TV shows they’ve both been watching with their roommates. Kaiden was excited to get to talk about 9-1-1 and she listened to Arber make a sales pitch for The Rookie. They got lost in conversation, learning more about each other than they had in their years of being friends and teammates.
“How’d you know I would like flowers?” Kaiden asked, forgetting herself in the drink that sat half empty in front of her.
“I-” Arber paused and blushed, “thought you deserved something pretty.”
Kaiden’s face turned red. The waitress came up behind them with their food and asked them if they needed anything else. Kaiden ordered another drink.
“You’ve gotta try this.” Kaiden held out a bite of food to Arber on her fork. Arber took it in his mouth, keeping his eyes on Kaiden.
“That’s pretty good.” He nodded his head as he chewed. “Would you like a bite of mine?”
“Yes, please.” Kaiden waited patiently for Arber to feed her. She stared into Arber’s eyes as she took the bite and licked her lips as she pulled away. Arber felt his cheeks warm up again. She had a way of making him sweat even in the air conditioning.
Kaiden ordered a third drink as they chatted after they finished eating. As they walked back to the car, Kaiden was giggling and leaning onto Arber just a little. They laughed together as Arber drove her home.
“You coming up?” Kaiden asked once her building was in sight.
“I- maybe next time, sorry.” Arber gripped the steering wheel.
“Well, if there’s gonna be a next time, then I won’t count that as a rejection.”
“Yeah, there can be a next time. How about next Friday, after practice.”
“Let me check with my secretary and see if I have anything in my calendar.” Kaiden was happy to hear Arber laugh. It relieved the tension in the car. “Looks like I’m pushing all my meetings to Saturday, maybe Sunday if I can get you to stay the night.” Kaiden winked.
“Friday it is, then.”
“I’ll see you Friday, well and tomorrow, at practice.” Arber laughed and leaned in for a kiss on the cheek. Kaiden turned her head and caught his lips on hers. Arber leaned into it a little more, then pulled away smiling.
“Good night,” he said.