Chapter Text
The barely audible sound of his bedroom door was enough to have Fenris on high alert. He feigned sleep while he strained his ears for any additional sounds. The mage was still in bed beside him snoring peacefully, which ruled him out as the source of the noise. That confirmation only served to quicken his pulse.
It wasn’t until he heard tiny footsteps did he allow himself to stand down enough that he wouldn’t spring out of bed to engage the intruder instantly. However, Ada’s presence in his room in the middle of the night is certainly cause for concern on its own.
“Fenris?” She said in a barely audible whisper from the foot of the bed.
As gently and non-threatening as he could, he opened his eyes to look at her. She looked timid, unsure and pale.
He sat up on his elbows and beckoned her closer. “Are you alright?” He asked softly, wondering if perhaps she had a bad dream, she did not seem to have the urgency of someone coming to report an intruder.
“I-“ she hesitated, looking down at herself with shame.
Fenris now noticed her soiled night dress. She had clearly been sick and unable to reach the bathing chamber in time.
At first Fenris considered waking Anders, he is a healer after all, but when he glanced over and saw the peaceful look on the man’s face as he slumbered Fenris decided that he could take care of this himself. There was nothing Anders could do for an upset stomach without his magic that Fenris could not do as well.
Slowly and gently he extracted himself from under the covers and stood. Ada’s look of shame only deepened. Coming here for help was clearly extremely difficult for her. Fenris did not know what words to offer her to soothe her so instead he slipped on a shirt quickly and returned to her side with an attempted reassuring smile.
Her frown did not budge and her eyes remained watery, but she did reach up to him in a silent request to be carried.
This was new territory for Fenris. Ada had previously pointedly avoided treating Fenris as any sort of parental figure, but it seems that she might be having a change of heart on the matter.
Fenris reached down and lifted her into his arms without comment. He arranged her in a way that he could avoid the majority of her soiled clothing, but resigned himself to some unavoidable contact.
“Are you still feeling ill?” He asked looking down at her pale face. She didn’t feel feverish but she was a bit clammy.
She nodded.
“I am going to set up the bath for you then I will get you something to settle your stomach and something clean to wear.” He hoped that was enough.
“Thank you,” she whispered, nuzzling her head against his chest. He could feel her tears soaking into the fabric.
Fenris had a sudden urge to place a kiss on the top of her head but his concern for how it would be received was enough for him to refrain.
Once in the bathing room, Fenris set Ada down and went over to the bath to get it started. It wouldn’t take long for the dwarven plumbing to fill the tub enough for her tiny body.
Now that the bath was full he added a few drops of peppermint oil in hopes it would start to ease her nausea.
With the bath prepared Fenris was once again unsure. “Do you require assistance?” He asked, not wanting to do the wrong thing, but also wanting to let her know he was willing to aid her in any way she might require.
She looked up to him with large pitiful watery eyes and nodded. It pained Fenris to see her like this.
“Alright.” He agreed, and after a moment of steeling himself, he approached her to help her slip out of her night dress and into the tub.
Fenris was not a stranger to helping another bathe, he had helped Anders just hours ago after all. But Fenris and Anders had known each other for many years, there was a trust there that they had slowly built despite their early animosities. Fenris wanted nothing more than for Ada to trust him, but he worried everyday that he would do something to break that trust. But he would continue to try. She trusted him with this, she sought out his help, and he would do the best he could.
Ada’s half asleep daze made it easy to maneuver her limbs to quickly wipe away any remaining sick and to rinse off the film of sour sweat that coated her. He had originally planned to go and retrieve clothes for her while she bathed herself but instead he helped her out of the tub and into a towel before returning her to his arms.
Ada’s room was a lot different then the last time he had been in it. It felt a lot more lived in with bits of Ada’s personality shining through. She was a remarkably tidy child. Her clothes were put away and the few items she had were neatly lined up either on the bed or on the table next to it. She had brought in a few of the more intact rugs from some of the abandoned rooms and even set up a small table and chair to practice her writing in private.
Fenris sat her on the edge of her bed. “May I get you some clothes from your trunk?” He felt it important to ask, he did not want to intrude in her things without permission.
“Mhm”, she hummed, barely awake, her small fist coming up to rub at her tired eyes.
He pulled a clean shirt and loose pants from the trunk and returned to her side. Fenris dressed her with ease despite her lack of help.
“I will return shortly, try not to sleep yet,” he said as he quickly stepped out of the room toward the kitchen.
Fenris had woken up enough times with an upset stomach to know a few easy remedies. He suspected that the cause of her nausea was an overindulgence of rich food during his absence last night, which would be the best case scenario. He would have to monitor her next time if Hawke or Orana offer her food.
After setting a kettle on the fire, he grabbed a small chunk of ginger and a spoonful of honey. Ada was not a fan of tea, but he hoped she would be amenable to this.
Fenris was sure she would be asleep by the time he returned but he found her still upright, if just barely.
She turned sluggishly to him as he entered, instantly spying the steaming mug and eyeing it with suspicion.
“It is hot water with ginger and honey” he explained, “I will not force you to drink it but I would encourage you to at least try it. It will help.”
He offered her the mug and she took it. After a few moments of her staring into its contents she raised it to her lips to take a dainty sip.
She grimaced which made Fenris chuckle causing her to glare up at him halfheartedly in return.
“Two more tiny sips and then you can sleep,” he coaxed.
She squinted up at him, “I thought you weren’t going to make me drink it.”
“You already started, might as well drink enough for it to help,” he reasoned. “But you are correct, I will not force you.”
She sighed and looked back down into the mug before taking exactly two more sips and handing it back to him. Fenris took the mug and set it on the table beside her bed to free his hands so that he could help tuck her into bed.
Despite never having done it before, Ada acted as if this behavior was completely normal and slid into bed as he lifted the covers for her.
“Goodnight, Ada.” He said, giving in to his earlier urge to kiss her on her temple.
“Goodnight.” She fell asleep in seconds.
—————————————-
When Fenris returned to his room the familiar hum of Anders’ magic danced across his brands in greeting.
“Mage,” he said gently, trying to get his attention without startling him.
Anders was awake instantly, alert and ready if needed but also ready to return to sleep at the first opportunity, “Whazz happenin?” He asked in a slur, looking around the room until his eyes landed on Fenris near the door.
Fenris couldn't help but find his behavior charming. He reached down to grab the hem of his shirt and lifted it over his head, “Your magic has returned, heal yourself.”
Anders blinked a few times sleepily, watching Fenris strip with sleepy interest until he processed Fenris’ words, “how did you know?” His hand reached to his side first to heal the bruise over his ribs with a glowing palm.
“I felt it,” Fenris answered simply as he approached the bed.
The mage looked at him with confusion, “you… felt it? Did I cast in my sleep?” He took a moment to look at his hands before raising one to his swollen face.
“No.”
Anders turned to look at him again, before sighing and flopping his head back to the pillow, “I am going to ask you about this later.”
“I have no doubt,” Fenris replied with a tinge of amused sarcasm.
Now that the mage was healed, Fenris slid into bed to once again wrap himself over the other man in a warm comfortable embrace.
Anders chuckled warmly, “I never would have guessed that you would be so cuddly.” He turned just enough so that he could wrap his own arms back around Fenris.
“Sleep, Anders.” Fenris grumbled.
—--------------------------------------------
The morning sun through the hole in the roof lit the room and a soft warm light, waking Fenris from his sleep. Evidently he and Anders had swapped positions in the night as he had the mage’s hair cascading over his chest and long limbs draped over him like fallen branches.
At first, Fenris thought that Anders was also beginning to stir because his body began to shift, but when the mage let out a soft snore, he realized he was mistaken. He found that he didn’t mind, the warm weight of the taller man was quite soothing, and he still felt drowsy after the events of last night.
Anders shifted again, this time a little more… rhythmically.
Fenris froze, now fully awake, as he realized what was occurring. What Fenris had originally thought was the mage’s bony hip pressing into his side, was actually the man’s arousal. He felt himself twitch at the realization.
The arm that is draped over him shifted inward, wrapping Fenris in a loose embrace as the mage continued to rut against him.
Fenris felt himself reacting but was struck with indecision with what to do.
He should wake Anders. But a part of him wanted to selfishly enjoy the feeling of this for a while longer, his previously sleepy mind turning aroused.
When he felt Anders’ warm breath against his neck as the man whimpered needily in his sleep, Fenris decided he had to wake him or he would be lost to his own desire.
“Anders,” he croaked.
The man moaned in his sleep, holding Fenris closer, clearly lost in his dream.
“Anders,” he tried again, this time more firmly.
He felt the mage startle awake, “hm? What?” he asked in a daze.
When Fenris shifted slightly, Anders sprung away as if burned, clearly realizing what had been occurring.
Anders groaned in embarrassment and curled away from Fenris on the opposite end of the bed. “Sorry,” he said with a humorless awkward chuckle.
Fenris rolled to face the man’s back and scooted closer, missing the touch but refraining from reaching out. “I did not mind,” he answered truthfully.
Tentatively, he reached out to grab Anders’ shoulder to coax him to roll onto his back. The man melted into his touch and let himself be led. Rich warm brown eyes looked up at him with barely restrained hopeful lust.
Fenris reached his hand out to slowly run his fingers through the man’s chest hair, enjoying the feeling of it under his calloused palms. “I simply wanted you to be awake,” he explained as he let his nails gently rake over the man’s hardened nipple eliciting a sharp gasp. “I wanted you to know it was me who you were touching.”
Anders’ eyes dilated at his words and a warm blush began to spread across his face and chest. “It was you,” he confessed, “in my dream,” he clarified.
Fenris raised an eyebrow at the mage in silent invitation to elaborate, before he leaned in to tongue over the nipple closest to him.
“Fuck,” Anders shuddered and moaned into the touch, his hand coming up to stroke Fenris’ hair in a gentle caress.
He bit the man’s chest playfully before looking up at him with half-lidded eyes. “Tell me about your dream, mage,” he demanded, using his hand to pinch the further nipple. He felt drunk and powerful with how receptive Anders was to his touch, it was addictive.
Anders arched off the bed into his touch. “We were here, in your room-” he started, his voice shaking as he panted heavily.
Fenris hummed in approval as he got on all fours to crawl over the mage, his blood simmering with his need to be touched. Anders reacted without prompting, his hands immediately coming up to latch themselves on Fenris’ thighs.
“Y-you pressed me against the wall to k-kiss me,” he gulped and Fenris honed in on it.
He kissed and nibbled up from Anders’ sternum to the man’s neck. The mage’s grip on his thighs increased and he let out a throaty breath that resembled a growl in response.
“F-fuck, Fenris,” Anders whined, his hands beginning to wander up to Fenris’ hips.
“What happened next?” he whispered into his neck, feeling the rough stubble against his temple and nose.
“I dropped to my knees to suck you off,” he whispered as if it was a secret.
Fenris hesitated. Why would the mage dream of something like that?
“Fenris?” Anders asked with a tinge of concern.
“Is that something you would enjoy?” he asked as he raised himself on his arms to look Anders in the face. He saw nothing but rosey cheeked desire. Desire for him.
“Yes,” Anders stated confidently. He could tell that the mage was trying to read him, trying to figure out why Fenris had reacted strangely to this, but he didn’t ask. “Would you let me?” he asked instead.
Let him? Fenris would let the mage do almost anything to him, and despite his own feelings about performing that particular act, he had often wondered what it would feel like to be on the receiving end.
“Yes,” he said against the mage’s lips before claiming a hungry kiss.
Anders scooted his body while they kissed until he could shift the both of them, settling himself over Fenris. He had expected to feel trapped or caged in, but instead he felt safe and unbelievably turned on.
Anders began to work down Fenris’ body. Fenris watched in awe as Anders kissed around each Lyrium line, making sure that his lips always landed on pure skin. Fenris raised his hand and ran his fingers through the man’s hair, tucking it behind his ear so he could have a better view of his face.
When Anders looked up at him from under his golden blond eyelashes with eyes full of desire, Fenris felt himself throb painfully against his smalls. No one had even looked at him like that. His blood was fire in his veins. His nerves vibrated hungrily under his skin, clamboring for their turn to be touched.
“Anders,” he whined, startling himself with how needy he sounded.
The mage made direct eye contact while he flicked his tongue expertly over Fenris’ nipple. He could not control the way his hips bucked in return, his clothed cock aching for firmer contact.
Anders scooted his body lower, using his knees to spread Fenris’ legs to make room for himself to sit.
Fenris trembled with nerves and excitement, he felt like a virgin being touched for the first time. Which he supposed was not exactly inaccurate.
His eyelids fluttered closed as Anders began to run his large hands up and down his thighs, each time getting closer and closer to where he craved their touch the most. But rather than traveling inward, his hands travelled up and over his stomach and onto his chest where they squeezed his pecks before traveling back down. Fenris’ head filled with pleasurable static as he basked in the touch. He no longer cared if Anders ever continued on with his plan. This feeling, this caress over his body was more pleasurable then he could have ever imagined.
When Anders hooked his fingers into the waistband of Fenris’ smalls, he paused for permission. It took a moment for Fenris to process what was happening as the mage’s clever thumbs continued to slide over his hips soothingly and electrifyingly.
Not trusting his voice, Fenris raised his hips to allow Anders to slide his smalls without effort. He felt the fabric get pulled back, the ties rubbing pleasantly over his sensitive flesh. When his cock sprung free he felt just how needy he was. The chilled air of the room flashed over his weeping head, highlighting just how much he had leaked without being touched.
“You’re beautiful,” Anders said reverently.
Fenris opened his eyes to look up at the man, watching as his hungry gaze swept over his scarred body. When Anders looked at him like that, he too believed that he was beautiful.
Anders shifted until he lay perpendicular to the wall, his long limbs tucking so they didn't fall off the bed. He arranged Fenris’ legs with one under his arm and the other slung over his waist.
Fenris shivered in anticipation.
“You don’t have to last, just enjoy yourself,” Ander assured, checking Fenris’ face one more time for any hint of a change of heart before he moved in closer.
Fenris’ world went white at the first swipe of warm tongue up his length. He did his best not to buck his hips, but he honestly could not tell if he was being successful. Fenris was both amazed and ashamed at how much Anders had unraveled him with one touch.
One of Anders’ arms slid forward to brace Fenris’ hips against the bed. Clearly he had not been successful at holding himself back. Either that or Anders doubted his ability to continue in his restraint. The other hand came forward to gently hold his cock in place before Anders could begin in earnest. Even such a gentle touch was enough to send a current of want through him.
Fenris lifted his head to watch. He immediately locked eyes with Anders before the man proceeded to take Fenris all the way to the base in one go.
A strangled groan stuttered out of Fenris as his head dropped back and his hands clutched the bedsheets so aggressively he thought they might rip. The arm over his hips held him firmly to the bed, his strength admittedly impressive.
Anders swallowed him down eagerly, his eyes fluttering closed as he sucked with such skill, Fenris could no longer doubt any desire to perform this act. Clearly this was something the mage enjoyed immensely.
A movement out of the corner of Fenris’ eye drew his attention to where Anders had begun to rut against the bed with increasing desperation.
“Mage,” he managed to say despite his gasps for air.
Anders lifted his head with a wet pop as he released him. The mage’s hand continued to stroke him lazily, “Yes, Fenris?”
Fenris gestured to Anders’ hips, “Come closer so that I can touch you.”
His eyes widened before he nodded enthusiastically, clearly not expecting that request.. Clumsily, as he was still trapped under Fenris’ leg, Anders shimmied out of his sleep pants and slid his body until he was within reach.
At first, Fenris contemplated trying to reach for the oil he kept in his nightstand, but when he saw how much precum Anders had leaked and spread over himself while humping the bed, he knew that it was not needed.
Before the mage re-settled, Fenris took every opportunity to reach out and swipe at the barely visible blushing head. Anders flinched and made a noise that was somewhere between a moan and a gasp. Fenris needed more.
Just as he reached over to wrap his hand around the considerable length, he felt Anders’ mouth engulf him once more. He yearned to be more coordinated with his movements, to give the mage pleasure while his own body was alight with it, but he was too overcome to focus. Anders didn’t seem to mind. If anything, the mage seemed encouraged by Fenris’ lapse in composure.
Just as before, Anders resumed the buck of his hips in time with the bobbing of his head, pleasuring himself and Fenris in rhythm.
It was all too much, and yet not enough. Fenris’ mind softened into a thoughtless aura of pleasure, his body tingling as he began to feel numb static in his extremities.
Distantly, Fenris registered Anders whining desperately over his cock, a warm wet feeling slicking his hand and the mage fucking himself furiously and uncoordinated into his grip.
Fenris pried his eyes open to watch as the man came into his fist while taking Fenris expertly in his mouth. He saw his own bliss reflected in the man across from him.
He was lost.
The first thing Fenris registered was that someone was stroking his hair. The second thing he noticed was how hard he was breathing and how sweaty he was.
“Can I hold you?” a voice said softly from his side.
Fenris reached out blindly, not wanting to open his eyes just yet. Anders chuckled and moved in closer to drape himself in a similar fashion to how they woke up, unbothered by the sweat coating their skin. Fenris could feel Anders’ rapid heartbeat against his side, a mirror to his own.
With one hand in his hair, and one hand running up and down his side soothingly, Fenris felt himself begin to doze off.
Fenris woke when Anders peeled his arms away from Fenris’ chest. The mage mumbled an apology before kissing him on the forehead. “I’m going to get a cloth to wash up,” he explained before slipping on his smalls and leaving the room.
A warm cloth touched his sternum slowly but intentionally, waking him from his doze. Fenris hummed in acknowledgement and permission once he realized what was occurring. Anders took the rag and ran it over him with tenderness, first wiping away the dried sweat from his body before he carefully cleaned the dried spend from his hand and pelvis.
Tears welled in Fenris’ eyes unexpectedly, and he could do nothing but let them roll down his temples and soak into the pillow under him. So many feelings began to swirl like a tempest in his chest that it became difficult to breathe. It was humiliating and suddenly his nudity was oppressive rather than comfortable.
A blanket was placed over him immediately as if his mind had been read.
“Would you like to be held?” Anders asked from nearby, his voice was soothing and non-judgmental as it broke through the fog.
Fenris was silent for a long time, not trusting himself to speak in fear that it would cause his crying to worsen. Finally he managed a barely audible, “I don't know.”
“Okay.” Anders answered kindly. “I am going to try it, and If you don't like it, I'll stop. Okay?”
Fenris nodded jerkily, his body calming some now that he was covered with the blanket.
The warm weight of Anders’ arm across his chest was exactly enough to make him feel grounded but not smothered.
“Okay?” Anders asked.
Fenris nodded again, this time more smoothly.
“You did so well, Fen” Anders said softly from his side, the praise and nickname shooting through him and clearing some of the thoughts from his cacophonous mind.
More tears fell heavily from his eyes as he was unable to stop them.
“You are so beautiful,” the mage said, his thumb stroking softly over the blanket, the pressure barely translating through the fabric.
“Anders,” he managed to whisper. He kept his eyes shut in an attempt to stem the flow of tears.
“Mm?” The rubbing of the thumb stopped as Anders prepared to move his arm at any moment if Fenris requested it.
“Kiss me.”
There was a gentle dip in the bed beside him and the pressure across his body shifted as Anders maneuvered himself more upright. Soft yet slightly chapped lips landed gently over his.
He felt Anders’ hair cascading around their faces, framing them and tickling across his skin. Despite the remaining tears, Fenris felt calm. With effort, Fenris cracked his eyes open to look up at the mage.
The sun’s rays beamed through the exposed rafters catching the man’s golden hair and reflecting it across Anders’ primarily backlit face. Fenris unburied one of his hands from its cover to reach up and gently tuck some of the strands behind the man’s ear.
It was like he was truly seeing Anders for the first time.
He pulled him down for another kiss.