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with you without them

Summary:

Roy can’t figure out why the fuck he’s so anxious about marrying Jamie. He wants to be married to Jamie; he has for a long fucking time. Legally, they're already married, and to his surprise, Roy's even looking forward to the actual getting married part. After a conversation with Dr. Sharon, they realise his anxiety’s not about Jamie at all.

Or, the long-awaited sequel to thumbs (and we’re in love)

Notes:

It’s finally here, y’all! I thought this series was done after we’re in love, but one comment from industandstarlight got me thinking about a different opportunity for hurt/comfort, and I’ve been sitting on it for almost a year now. There are a couple differences between this fic and the way thumbs is structured (because this is alternating POV and occurs during the regular season), primarily that the chapters are shorter and that there will be more of them. I’m hoping this will allow for more frequent updates, but we’ll see how that shakes out. Also, there is more content with the Richmond players (mostly Colin tbh) but please do not expect anything resembling accurate football.

Welcome back! Hope y’all enjoy!

Chapter 1

Notes:

This first chapter is especially short because it’s mostly exposition but I hope y’all enjoy some Jamie POV (for the first time in this ‘verse)!

Chapter Text

Jamie Kent is on top of the goddamned world. Richmond is holding their own in the champions league, he’s becoming the best player he can be alongside the best teammates in the league, and at the end of every day, he gets to go home to Roy fucking Kent. And now, he’s finally announced it to the world. The marriage, that is. It’s too early in the season to be too loud about the team’s standing, according to their new communications director. Jamie is trying to remain humble and focused, regardless of what his post-match interviews might suggest. He thinks he’s doing just fine with that. He can be humble and focused on his game while also knowing they’re doing well and trusting that they’ll continue to do so. He listens to the communications director, though, and his own social media manager, and doesn’t boast more than people expect him to.

After a break that was equal parts dream and nightmare, Jamie is happy to be going into the new season with a sense of comfort and security he’s not sure he’s ever felt. Things with the team are good. Things at home are good. Things with Roy are fucking perfect. He never has to see his father ever again, and as time passes, he feels less terrible for the rush of relief that accompanies that thought. 

Everything is fucking perfect. Which is why it’s so upsetting when Roy starts acting weird. 

 

-

 

The weirdness doesn’t start right away. Training under Roy is everything Jamie knew it would be. He misses Ted now that Ted’s off in America, but he loves watching Roy grow into his new role as manager. As much affection as the team has for Ted and his folksy speeches, Jamie knows he’s not the only one revelling in the experience of having a manager who knows the game better than they do. The pressure is intense on Roy, Jamie knows. He’s a fucking legend on the pitch, no one can argue that, but he’s still establishing himself as a coach and he doesn’t have the credentials most champions league managers have. Of course, neither had Ted, and they’ve still ended up here. 

The team is doing well. They’re not going to win the league, not this year, but they’re holding their own. That doesn’t ease the pressure, Jamie knows, but he thinks Roy’s handling it well, and he’s got the Diamond Dogs to fall back on whenever things get too dicey. Still, Jamie reminds him just how good a coach he is often, just to be sure. 

They’re professional at work, avoiding excessive affection and any explicit references to their sex life, although all bets are off during team celebrations at Ola’s or karaoke or most places that aren’t Nelson Road. They haven’t snuck into the boot room to make out in nearly two weeks now. Not while everyone was still here at least. And they haven’t gotten caught yet, except by Will. 

The team has been nothing but supportive, organizing their engagement party and teasing Jamie as they would any of the lads with a new partner. Roy had been a little weirded out that Colin and Isaac had bet on them, but Jamie liked that they were casual about it, even if he’ll never let Colin live down the fact that he’d bet against them. Even though Roy had been miserable his last years as a player, he’d been their teammate first, and they thought of him as a friend. Jamie knows that secretly, Roy loves that about them. They all have interpersonal relationships outside of the game, even if they’re not all romantically involved. On the pitch, Roy is his coach first. It’s hot, but Jamie can put that on the back burner now that he knows he can actually act on it when they get home. 

 

-

 

The press hasn’t quite gotten a hold of themselves, following Roy and Jamie’s announcement at the beginning of the season. Doing the article with Trent ahead of time had been the right move, and they’ve been consulting him and others as they navigate their new media landscape, but they’re approached by journos more often than either of them would like, and for a few weeks there, they’d not gone anywhere with Phoebe except her house and theirs. 

Things are starting to calm down, but people are still far more rabid for pictures and gossip than they’d been before Jamie took to the pitch in his new KENT kit. The press room has mostly gotten over it, except for when they have Jamie and not Roy in the room and think they might be able to get more out of him. 

Jamie can admit to himself, even as he denies it to everyone else, that he’s been messing with them a bit. He trusts that his legacy will be his beautiful work on the pitch, but he knows it will often be joined by an acknowledgment of his being a bit chaotic off of it. And on it, really. Jamie has always known just how to get people going, and the press room is no different. Give them a guileless enough look, and none of them have the stones to ask if he meant to imply something with his obvious double entendre. Throw out a meaningless detail about his home life and they’ll forget whatever question they asked that he doesn’t want to answer. They’re easy, especially now that Trent’s not among them. 

Jamie had been worried the first time cheating rumours circulated, which was nearly immediately after the announcement, but Roy had mostly been worried about Jamie, and both of them knew there was no way they could be true. He can make Roy jealous if he wants to, but a few articles in the gossip rags certainly can’t. They mean nothing to Roy, so Jamie decides they don’t have to mean anything to him either. The rumours tend to fade quite quickly, with Roy and Jamie being so visibly happy. It’s not easy to paint Roy Kent as a spurned lover with the general public, it seems. 

The one story the press never seems to tire of is speculation about Keeley, always finding a new way to spin any sightings of two or the three of them together. Jamie’s not spent his time repairing that friendship just to throw it out the window because some paps want to take pictures of them at the spa or the coffeeshop, and he knows Roy feels the same. Keeley mostly seems to delight in texting them articles about which of them she’s allegedly stringing along every other week, so Jamie figures it’s all good if they’re good with it.  

But the press is still a factor. And it feels possible that Roy is stressed about them, since they did the marriage early and planned the wedding so far out to avoid any unwanted press on their wedding day, but Jamie doesn’t think that’s the real issue either. He knows his husband doesn’t concern himself with what the papers are saying, and he rarely gets on social media. 

It is a lot, though, Jamie knows it’s a lot, and he wonders if it’s become too much. 

 

-

 

Jamie realizes quickly that Roy is definitely being weirder than usual, but he is much slower to realize that he’s specifically weird about the wedding. He’s weird all the time, a bit, because Jamie married a fucking weirdo, but he gets quiet when they talk about the wedding in a way that’s different from his normal quiet.

Jamie had expected Roy to defer to him for a lot of the wedding details, but Roy does have a lot of opinions, even if they haven’t started properly planning yet. He wants white orchids in their boutonnieres, tells Jamie he’ll have to wear a pocket square so people will be able to see it against the white tux he knows Jamie wants to wear. He vetoes tails but agrees to velvet patterns on their jackets. He always smiles when Jamie brings up the fact that they’re getting married, and more often than not, he pulls Jamie’s face to his for a warm, affectionate kiss before continuing with their conversation. Before long, though, the conversation will falter as Roy gets quiet, missing Jamie’s questions and looking slightly ill. 

Jamie knows Roy wants to marry him. If he’d ever doubted Roy’s words when he first said them, he couldn’t after Roy had placed his grandad’s ring on Jamie’s finger. Jamie’s worn it there ever since, only taking it off to place it carefully in its box during matches or showers. They already are legally married. But there’s something about the wedding that’s setting Roy off.

 

-

 

Jamie’s not sure who to talk to about Roy’s weird behavior. The Diamond Dogs might have some insight, but Jamie doesn’t want to ask them behind Roy’s back. Will would be his first choice, but Will’s as clueless as he is, on this front at least. He’s nearly given up and conceded that he may need to find a way to talk to Ruth about it when it comes up, rather appropriately, in a conversation with Colin.

Colin and Michael’s kiss on the pitch at the end of last season was overshadowed by Jamie’s marriage announcement, what with Jamie’s unprecedented announcement via his new kit, but Colin had to manage the press all through the summer. Jamie wishes he could have helped Colin and Michael more during that time, beyond showing his support at their Wednesday scrimmages and sporadic FIFA nights, and he feels worse after getting his own dose of the media frenzy, but he knows he’s doing what he can. He’d had his own shit going on this summer.

Colin is complaining again about a meeting with his new social media manager, saying, “It’s like every time Keeley tried to make me post about something other than Welsh independence for brand deals, except worse because now it’s like, every post has to go through approvals, not just the brand ones.”

Jamie shrugs. He likes meeting with his media people, finding new ways to show Roy off, especially ways that Roy pretends to be annoyed about. He likes his brand deals, too, likes that people think he’s good enough and sexy enough to represent their products. It’s an indicator of his success. He even likes all the new pride campaigns he’s booked, which Roy mostly begs out of. He’ll convince Roy to do a joint campaign this summer, he thinks, but probably only one. And he might need to enlist some help convincing him.

“It’s a lot better now than it was in June, though,” Colin says, nudging Jamie in a silent acknowledgement of his part in that and pulling him out of his thoughts. 

“How, eh, how did you manage all that, all summer? You did alright?” Jamie asks. Maybe if Colin or Michael had problems with the press, they might be able to give him some ideas to take the stress off of Roy.

“We were good. Trent was really very helpful,” Colin says, “but it also helps that it was the off-season. Whenever things got too bad we could just run away to an island somewhere. And Michael finally got to meet my parents! No reporter is trekking up to Wales for a scoop.”

Jamie grins widely at that. Manchester isn’t really too far away for the paps, but it’s definitely slower than Richmond. He’s not surprised Colin would go home to get some privacy.

“Meeting the family,” he teases with a low whistle. “That’s a big move.”

“Oh, shove off, “ Colin says, shoving his shoulder into Jamie playfully. “You met Ruth and Phoebe ages before you and Roy figured your shit out.And he met your mum and Simon.”

“Yeah, because Ruth and Phoebs live here, and I could hardly decline Phoebe’s Uncle’s Day invitation, I’m not a monster.” He doesn’t bring up their visits to Manchester. 

Colin laughs at this and graciously doesn’t bring up the fact that Uncle’s Day fell during International Break and that begging off would have been the more reasonable action by most accounts. 

“Of course,” he agrees instead, indulgently. “But yeah, it went well. My mum loves Michael; he spent just as much time with her as he did me when I was up there, I think.”

Jamie nods.

“Roy and Simon are like that. Get those two in the kitchen and Mummy and me might as well go out to the shops for all they’ll notice us missing.” 

“Everything’s going well, then?” Colin asks. “With the meeting the parents and the engagement and everything.”

“It’s fucking mint,” Jamie says automatically. Because it is. He thinks it is, and he’s pretty sure Roy also thinks it is.

Colin is watching him openly, as though waiting for more information than that. Colin has gotten pretty good at reading people, Jamie thinks, now that he’s less concerned with watching his own behavior, trying not to give anything away. He and Isaac have become a veritable source of gossip, between Colin’s new listening skills and Isaac’s body science. Between the two of them, they probably know at least half of the gossip Will’s got.

Colin is still looking at him, and Jamie realizes he’s gone quiet. He doesn’t want to air Roy’s business without trying to just talk to Roy about it first, but he does need help figuring out what to do here. 

“You know Roy’s an old man,” he says, starting off light, “he doesn’t like too much change. I’m surprised he didn’t have an aneurysm, becoming manager and my husband at the same time this summer.”

It would make sense that the change is the issue, even if they’re both good changes. He just doesn’t know why the wedding would be the sticking point. They’re already married, and they already told everyone. 

“It’s a bit weird that you still make all those old man jokes now that the two of you are together,” Colin comments.

Jamie tilts his head in consideration. 

“Don’t think so,” he says. “We’re still best friends, just with more sex and romance now. This is how I joke with all my friends.”

Colin smiles kind of goofily at that and concedes. 

“Alright, then. Only good changes though?”

Jamie thinks about it for a while. Things are still settling, and he knows there are things they still need to work through, but he’s happy. There isn’t anything he’d change back. He nods at Colin and smiles.

“Yeah, only good changes.”