Chapter Text
Usopp knew this was becoming a problem.
Okay, maybe it had been one for a long time. Longer than he would like to admit.
But he had it under control– if under control meant drooling over Sanji as he watched him work in the kitchen, pretending to work on something in his sketchbook.
Usopp had known he was gay from a young age, he had never been attracted to a girl in a romantic way. The only time he thought he had was– naturally, Kaya. He had cared for the girl so much and since he grew up in syrup village– a town with extreme… traditional values– he had assumed that that strong care and love he held for her had to be romantic.
Kaya had even been his first kiss, funnily enough. It was immediately after that kiss that they both realized that they were not attracted to each other, and vowed to just stay good friends. He would even say that the experience made their bond stronger, both realizing something about themselves in the process.
Later, they would even joke about how they were most likely each other's type gender-bent (which was very flattering to him, and the only time he was ever told he was someone's type).
When he made that joke, he really didn’t realize how true it was until a blond cook made his way into his life.
Until Sanji.
Usopp truly hadn’t noticed any sort of feelings for Sanji until Alabasta. And really it started with more like– ‘wow, that Mr. Prince character Sanji plays is kinda hot’. It really was nothing more than a small infatuation at first, then it transformed into a small crush.
Eventually, Usopp couldn’t keep pretending it was just the Mr. Prince persona. It was just Sanji, all of him.
He started picking up on his little quirks. The way he would fiddle with his lighter when he was nervous, how he paid more attention to how everyone else was enjoying their food and wouldn’t eat a bite until everyone seemed happy, how his eyes would shine whenever he got to try to cook something he had never had the chance to before– Usopp could go on about Sanji for hours.
Which was part of the big issue, he was having a hard time being subtle about it anymore. He knew he had seeked Sanji out too much– he had started a habit of coming to watch Sanji cook at least once a day, as well as keeping the blonde man company while he was on watch. He hadn’t seen anything wrong with it at first, he had always made an effort to spend time with all of his crewmates, so what if he spent a little extra with the cook? Who would even notice something like that and if they did, why would they think it had to do with anything romantic?
But Usopp had been careless, because his crewmates knew him too well. He started to catch Nami’s knowing grins as he followed Sanji to the kitchen, had felt Robin's knowing stare on his back when he wasn’t looking. Hell, he had even caught Zoro staring at the two one morning while they were up on the watch tower– like the green-haired bastard was trying to put together a puzzle in his head he didn’t quite understand.
It was– above everything else– embarrassing.
Because Usopp was not stupid. His intelligence was one of the few parts of himself he took pride in, so Usopp had known the moment he discovered these feelings were real that he stood absolutely no chance. The probability of Sanji ever showing any sort of attraction towards the sniper was in the negatives. It wasn’t just the fact that Sanji was way out of his league– though he was well aware of that thank you, he’s a liar but he’s not delusional– It was the simple fact that Sanji was women crazy to a fault.
Bisexual people exist of course, but Sanji had never indicated that he was attracted to men in any way.
So yes, It was embarrassing that other people were catching onto his feelings, his deepest and most personal secret. Usopp was a liar for fucks sake! He had to grow the hell up, fully push these feelings for Sanji away, and move on!
Sanji had helped him more than he would ever know. Sanji was what Usopp thought about when his mind was plagued with self hate and anxiety. Sanji is the person Usopp woke up thinking about and the person that’s presence lulled him to sleep the easiest. Usopp was a pathetic man in love, but the thought of losing those feelings somehow hurt more than anything he had been through in his two years with his crew.
He could move on later– Usopp thought as he watched the cook expertly filet the fish he had acquired from the last island, perhaps he could indulge Sanji’s beauty for just one more day.
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They were all fighting on some marine base when it happened.
Honestly, Usopp couldn’t remember why they were here, the whole day was a big blur of running and fighting and more running (mostly on his part), though if he thought hard enough he did recall this starting out as Nami ogling at the amount of treasure this place supposedly had, so Usopp decided he would blame his stressful day on her when they were out of this mess.
While everyone else had battles of their own, Usopp mainly ran around attempting to play support to his comrades, taking out stragglers and such.
He found himself, yet again being drawn to Sanji. And when they started running to the Sunny, Usopp lagged behind him.
Nami was already on board– looking tired but extremely pleased with a big sack of treasure on her shoulder, already shouting out directions to the Strawhats that had made their way back.
It was when Sanji had spotted her and started doing his lovey-dovey routine that it happened. Some nobody marine had snuck up on them, and stuck some syringe into Sanji’s exposed wrist, injecting whatever substance it held before quickly being kicked away by the cook.
It was a weaker kick than normal apparently, because the man simply fell down then started chuckling like a mad man, seemingly satisfied with his work.
Usopp immediately started running forward in a panic, loading his slingshot in the process. He noticed Sanji start to shutter, dropping down to his knees. The man that injected the substance seemed confused for a split second, looking down at his pouch and then back at the syringe in what appeared to be horror. “I used the wrong one– God dam–” The man didn’t get to finish his sentence, as Usopp had shot one of his Gunpowder stars right at the man in pure rage, not stopping to watch the man fly back unconscious before he made his way to Sanji.
He crouched down, placing a hand on the man's back and started shouting in a panic. “Chopper, get over here! Sanji, You’re okay right? What even was that stuff he injected you with?! Does anything hurt?! How are you–”
He interrupts himself as he scans the area, and finds that his crew were immediately acting. Nami, luffy and chopper were quickly making their way to them, while the rest of the crew took to holding off the dwindling crowd of marines.
Sanji groans and he focuses his attention back on the man. “Sanji, look at me– please tell me you’re okay– Damn it! I should have seen that bastard sooner, what the hell is wrong with me–”
Before Usopp could finish blaming himself, Sanji looked up, appearing dazed for a second before his eyes seemed to clear of their haze.
He continued to stare at Usopp with a look that he couldn’t really decipher, as their three Nakama made their way to them.
Before any of them could get a word out, something unthinkable happened. Sanji’s eyes, still on Usopp, seemed to grow hearts. In fact, it looked like he had started blushing.
“Oh, My lovely Usopp! It’s such an honor to be graced by such a beauty’s presence. Oh my, what a lucky man I am, Usopp..” Sanji continued to babble on, not even acknowledging the other members that were now next to them, staring with expressions with variations of confusion and disbelief.
Usopp however… was malfunctioning. No. This wasn’t possible. How…
Chopper was the first to interrupt the cooks babbling as he clung on to a shell-shocked Usopp. “It seems like, well… It must be a love drug. But I've never seen one in action before! And why would a marine use a love drug on Sanji…” Chopper muttered while checking Sanij over.
Usopp noticed with incredulity that Nami now seemed amused, while Luffy started to giggle. “Shihihihihihih, so it’s nothin’ bad? Sanji’s just in love with Usopp? That’s not even differ-"
Nami slapped her hand over the captain's mouth, silencing him.
Usopp could not process this, watching numbly as Sanji’s nose started to bleed and chopper started to worry over it.
This couldn’t be happening. Some kind of drug that makes Sanji fall in love with Usopp? It wasn’t computing in Usopp’s head. He was feeling very faint.
The dust cleared as the battle came to an end, marines strewn around the place as the rest of his crew walked over relatively unscathed.
Zoro held up the unconscious body of the marine that had injected Sanji with whatever substance that was making him act so– loving towards usopp. “We’ll find out what it is. We can take this weakling with us until he talks– Usopp, the hell's wrong with you?”
Usopp weakly turned his head, Sanji now completely wrapped around Usopp's abdomen, cooing with delight. The shapes around him were starting to blur, nothing made sense to him and he was suddenly filled with a bone-deep exhaustion that he could not overcome. ”Um, I think m’ gonna– I–”
Then, Usopp felt his head hit the blonde man's chest, as he fell into unconsciousness.