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When Dad sits her down and tells her Uncle Shane is in love and will be bringing his boyfriend over at the weekend, it takes everything in Ruby not to roll her eyes.
Dad is explaining it very simply, probably for the benefit of Arthur and Amber. But her and Jade know that boys can like boys and girls can like girls. Sophia in their class has two moms and Amber isn’t stupid - she’s noticed that her dad keeps bringing home stacks of books about diverse families and having pride and lots of the characters look a bit too similar to Shane to be a coincidence. Mom gives him fond looks and Amber deduces that he is trying a little too hard in his usual well-intentioned way. She nods along and lets her siblings ask questions, but her mind is whirring at the thought of Uncle Shane in love with someone.
Amber has always liked Uncle Shane. In her big family it’s a relief to have someone occasionally be quiet, someone who doesn’t mind sitting silently while she paints his nails or does her homework. All her life he’s been a constant reassuring presence. She has so many loud hockey uncles; all of them enthusiastic and boisterous and fun. But Shane is fun too, and he treats her like a grown up. Doesn’t baby talk to her or condescend or act like she doesn’t understand things just because she’s only eight. He’s the only grown up who treats her tea parties and Jade’s Barbie battle re-enactments with the gravity they deserve. And maybe he uses too many hockey analogies in their conversations, but she’s used to that from Dad. So she doesn’t mind when he calls the girl picking on her at school a mucker or tells her to focus on playing her shift when Arthur disrupts a carefully plotted imagination game between her and Jade.
People think Uncle Shane is boring and it stokes a protective angry flame in Ruby’s chest. Shane is silly and pulls faces behind her dad’s back and tickles Arthur until he giggles and always does the right voices when he reads them a story. Like all grownups (except for Mom, who picks up on all the nuances with ease) he gets confused about the rules to their games but he’s earnest in his attempts to understand what they’re talking about. When he furrows his eyebrows and nods along she shares a glance with Jade and between them they explain very simple concepts like the line of succession for Barbie dolls.
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The weekend arrives and the Pike children sit at the top of the stairs to peek through the bannisters. They look like spies on a reconnaissance mission. Or zoo animals kept away from the public. When Dad opens the door they poke their heads around the corner to catch a glimpse of Uncle Shane’s special friend, and Ruby lets out a gasp before Jade slaps a hand over her mouth.
A familiar head of blonde curls is standing in the doorway behind Uncle Shane. They’ve never seen him in person but they’d know that man anywhere. He cuts an imposing figure: tall, broad shoulders, big hands that he’s wringing in front of him. And they’ve heard his voice in interviews and on TV. It’s all deep and resonant with a trill to the ‘r’s and if they didn’t know better they’d think Uncle Shane had brought a villain from a spy movie as his guest.
“That’s Rozanov,” Jade whispers to Arthur and Amber, keeping them in the loop. Arthur nods, mystified, and Amber doesn’t appear to have heard, too distracted by chewing on her shirt.
Ilya Rozanov is in their house. Stepping over their threshold, looking at the photos on their walls, smiling at a picture of the kids and Uncle Shane at the Bell Center. Dad and Shane have broken their hug to talk in hushed whispers: the kind they use when they don’t want small ears overhearing. But Ilya Rozanov is looking at the gaggle of little Pikes on the stairs.
Ruby is stricken when he notices them. She moves to duck out of the way and drag her siblings with her. Mom tells her all the time that it’s rude to eavesdrop. “We’re talking about you, not to you,” Dad always jokes before descending on her with tickles.
Ilya Rozanov doesn’t alert Dad. He glances at the four small bodies crammed onto the landing, and drops them a wink. When he grins, it’s crooked and shows his pearly white teeth.
Some of her suspicion ebbs away. Uncle Shane must really like Rozanov for Dad to be letting him into their house. They have a swear jar on the mantelpiece but that doesn’t stop Dad cursing at and about Rozanov when he’s on the television. Jade is so good at maths she’s figured out they could buy two hundred and twenty Timbits with the cash in the jar. Ilya’s presence in their house represents a significant opportunity to double that haul.
So here is Ilya Rozanov, gripping Uncle Shane’s hand and rocking back and forth on his toes like he’s about to take off running. Uncle Shane strokes a thumb over his knuckles and glances at him while he worries his lip. Rozanov smiles but it’s shaky, not the confident grins he gives on the TV. Dad brings them to the kitchen and Ruby hears the familiar click of the coffee machine whirring to life and lets Jade take her hand and drag her to the playroom to plan their next move.
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Uncle Shane raps on the door with their secret knock and after a whispered conflab between the siblings, Jade shouts “Come in!”.
The door opens so slowly it feels like a horror film. Whatever lurks behind the threshold is going to change their lives, and has already changed Shane’s.
Shane steps in first, one hand lagging behind where it tugs a burly Russian hockey player into the room as easily as pulling a suitcase. Rozanov nods at them and smiles. Ruby’s grateful he isn’t going to reveal their earlier encounter.
“Hey, guys. This is Ilya Rozanov. He’s my-” Shane stops and searches for the word, but nothing is coming. It seems very obvious to Ruby, and she makes this known.
“He’s your boyfriend,” Shane nods and Ilya smiles, tugging him closer.
“Yeah. He’s my boyfriend. And I really wanted him to meet you four, because you’re really important to me,” That makes her smile, because Shane is important to all of them too. This is a good sign: he hasn’t decided to abandon them for his new friend. Not like Rosie at school who started dating a boy in the other class and stopped playing with Ruby and Jade at lunch because they were too busy holding hands.
Shane pulls up a chair and sits down, letting Ilya flop onto a beanbag and immediately stretch out his long limbs like a cat in the sun. He nods towards the four children sitting in a line, like a panel at the most high-stakes job interview of his life.
“It’s nice to meet you all. I’ve heard a lot about the little Pikes. Mostly that you drive your dad crazy. I think we have this in common.”
Ruby objects to the ‘little’ descriptor but Rozanov definitely drives Dad crazy. Jade giggles and Ilya’s face softens to something warmer and more confident. Uncle Shane interjects.
“You can ask him any questions you want, and he’ll answer them. Sensibly,” The last word is clearly directed at Ilya if the sharp look from Shane is anything to go by.
“Are you good at hockey?” Arthur asks. Ruby can barely resist rolling her eyes: they live in a hockey household, so they should know Ilya Rozanov is really, really good at hockey. From his position cross legged on the beanbag he smiles.
“Da. I’m good at hockey,” Arthur gives a satisfied nod. It’s Jade’s turn and Ruby manifests hard for her sister to ask something sensible. Dad always asks them to use their twin telepathy powers for good: Ruby supposes she can at least try.
“Are you better than Dad?” All the heads in the room snap to look at Ilya and observe his reaction. He’s biting his lip and his brow is furrowed in consideration. From behind the door, a muffled “No!” in Dad’s voice.
Ilya’s face splits into a grin. “No,” he answers, but he’s actually nodding his head and holding back a laugh. Uncle Shane pokes a finger into his ribs but he’s grinning too, rolling his eyes fondly. The Pikes descend into giggles.
Now it’s Ruby’s chance. She’s been planning her line of questioning since Ilya Rozanov crossed over into their world. She rolls the words around in her mouth until they take shape.
“Are you better than Uncle Shane?”
Shane’s not laughing now. He still has a smile on his face but he’s looking at Ilya out of the corner of his eye like he’s not sure what he’ll say. They’re so in tune, ebbing and flowing into each other’s words and movements, but Shane clearly doesn’t know what the outcome will be here.
Ilya thinks for a moment. Tilts his head and looks at Ruby, eyes boring into her brain. Like he wants to reach in and pick apart her thoughts. Like he’s doing it right now.
“No,” He answers, voice quiet, “Shane and I are the best. Both of us,” Uncle Shane smirks and touches his ear to pretend like he was recording. He gives Ilya a mushy look and squeezes his hand.
“I think that’s enough hockey questions, guys. Can you show Ilya your dollhouse?” Amber and Arthur are immediately distracted and toddle off to collect the Barbies scattered around the house and return them to the pastel pink dollhouse in the corner. Jade rocks back on her heels and begins talking to Uncle Shane about school, but Ruby keeps watching Ilya. The two are holding hands still and Shane is still rubbing a thumb over Ilya’s knuckles. Keeping him grounded, anchored to the moment.
“Was that the right answer?” He asks her, and she nods, “Good. I’m glad. Now please explain what this is.” He’s holding up a doll with one arm and a chewed up left hand. Her face is covered in scribbled marker and her hair has been trimmed down to her plastic skull with safety scissors. She’s objectively hideous, but there is a deep sentimental attachment as she is Ruby’s first Barbie. Grabbing her from Ilya’s hand, Ruby strokes her close-cropped hair and smiles tenderly.
“This is Barbara. She’s my favourite. You can play with her today, if you want,” Ilya looks genuinely touched. For a moment Ruby is worried he’s going to cry which would bring the mood down and make Uncle Shane all panicky. Like when Arthur tripped and spilled his drink and started sobbing, leaving Shane to calm him down and mop up spilled juice at the same time.
But Ilya doesn’t start crying. He gives Ruby a grin that’s all teeth and scoots over to the dollhouse where her younger siblings are depositing piles of dolls.
“That’s kind, Ruby, thank you. I am honoured to be Barbara,” He looks like he really means it too. Ruby watches him hold the doll reverently, even with his big hands, and lets some of her scepticism go. Maybe Ilya Rozanov really is good for Uncle Shane. Anyone who can understand Barbara can’t be too awful, whatever Dad says.
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The day wears on and Ilya has the Pike children wrapped around his finger. He laughs at their jokes and makes his own in return, quickly picking up on the rhythms of their banter and slipping in seamlessly. When they pull out a boardgame Shane groans and declares Ilya too competitive to play. This only riles up Amber and Jade more, and they drag the table over to set up the game pieces.
Ilya is, in fact, too competitive to play. Uncle Shane is twice as competitive, and on a different team, so the game lasts twice as long as it should and the Pikes are roaring with laughter as the adults exchange child-friendly chirps.
Mom calls with a ten minute warning for dinner. Ilya has a half-finished braid in his hair and a dopey smile on his face. Uncle Shane is flicking through a book with Arthur and pointing out pictures to make him giggle. Clambering to his feet Shane pulls Ilya up. His face looks faux-stern as he sends the kids off to wash their hands, with minimal groaning as they’re on best behaviour for the new visitor.
Ruby lingers at the door. She will go and wash her hands, there’s marker all over them and Mom will definitely notice if she doesn’t. But something draws her to hover in the liminal space between her uncle and the rest of the house. The door stays open a crack and with warnings about eavesdroppers and peeping Toms blaring in her mind, she peeks through to the playroom.
Uncle Shane has his hands on Ilya’s shoulders. Their foreheads are pressed together and Shane’s face has cracked into a big grin. He moves one hand to thread his fingers through Ilya’s curly hair, destroying Jade’s hard work at embellishing it with one thousand hairclips. Ilya groans a little and sinks into Shane’s hold.
It’s strange to watch Ilya Rozanov turn to butter under Uncle Shane’s hands. He melts into him, and they hold each other the way only grownups who’ve been doing this for a very long time can manage.
“Did I do okay?” he murmurs and Shane makes a wounded noise at the back of his throat, drawing back to look Ilya in the eyes.
“You were amazing. They love you. Like I love you,” Ilya smiles bashfully. He’s blushing, a flush settling over his cheeks as Uncle Shane presses a kiss to the red skin.
“They are much more interesting than Pike. He makes very sweet children,” Shane flicks his ear but there’s no heat behind it. From her spot in the doorway Ruby preens at the praise. They are very sweet children.
“You can’t turn Hayden’s kids against him. What will he have left?” Laughing, Ilya considers it for a moment.
“Not hockey, he is bad at that. Jackie, of course. Maybe you? Until I steal you away for good.”
Shane looks like he’s going to explode as he grins. To keep himself together he presses his lips to Ilya’s and when he draws back, he cups his face in his hands.
“I’m so glad you met them. They’re really special to me,” Ilya nods wisely.
“Then they are special to me too. Thank you for trusting me with this,” Shane just rubs his thumb over Ilya’s cheek and kisses him again. Watching them be so soft is throwing Ruby for a loop. This is a new side to Uncle Shane that’s never been revealed before: she is almost certain she should not be seeing this.
She backs away. Her socked feet make no noise on the carpet and she knows exactly where to step to avoid the creaky patches. Scuttling to the bathroom, she squirts on some soap and frantically catches up with her siblings, thankful that Arthur has recently developed an obsession with bubbles that prevents efficient handwashing.
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Five months after they meet Uncle Shane’s partner, Ruby sits next to Dad on the sofa.
“Daddy, are you and Uncle Ilya friends?” Dad’s face pinches into a look reminiscent of the day Amber put a large worm in his hand and asked him to name it.
“Why’d you ask?” He chokes out.
Ruby levels him with a look that’s all Jackie Pike.
“Someone at school said you hate each other. But that’s not true, is it?” Dad sighs and shakes his head. He moves to sit next to her on the couch and wraps an arm around her shoulders, tugging her into his chest. This is her favourite place, she thinks, second only to singing in the car with Mom.
“Me and Uncle Ilya play on different teams. And sometimes we tease each other. But he loves Uncle Shane, and he’s - we’re-” Dad never usually talks like this. Stumbling over his words, fumbling for the right thing to say. It makes her worry; is something wrong? Has she misstepped? Adult relationships are so confusing. It’s much easier at school: you’re friends, or you’re not. You share snacks or you pointedly avoid each other on the playground.
“Despite my best efforts, he’s my friend. And he’s a good uncle, isn’t he?” Ruby nods and kicks her feet enthusiastically. Ilya is an excellent uncle.
It’s brilliant, having Uncle Shane and Uncle Ilya look after them. She objects to the term babysitting, and will not use it on principle, because she is not a baby and if she and Jade have their way very little of the evening will be spent sitting down. Shane has soft dark hair which is excellent for brushing but doesn’t hold accessories very well. Ilya’s mass of blonde curls make for a perfect canvas for butterfly clips and bobby pins, and he’s somehow even more patient than Shane. He sits still as a statue while her and Jade work. She always rewards him with a pat on the shoulder like she’s seen Dad give Uncle Shane, thus it feels very grown up.
Uncle Shane tries to stick to Mom’s meal plan and only gives them healthy snacks, fruit and chopped up vegetables and hummus. Ilya sneaks squares of chocolate out of his pocket and mimes gagging at broccoli and spinach. He doesn’t have the Pike children’s steely resolve - one look from Uncle Shane and he’s stuffing greens into his mouth like a chipmunk. “Coward,” Ruby hisses across the table, but Ilya is too busy making moony-eyes at Uncle Shane to listen.
The only thing Ruby loves more than Shane and Ilya is Anya. This is one of the many points her and Ilya agree on - like their stance on green vegetables (yuck), cookies and cream ice cream (yum), and Arthur’s playdough creations (yuck or yum, depending on your artistic appreciation). When they bring Anya to visit, the air is electric, sparking with childish excitement. Bounding in like a bundle of fur on wheels Anya runs straight to the kids and they fall to pet her and rub her ears and kiss her head. Dad has taught them how to be gentle with animals: even Amber’s sticky hands are light on Anya’s fur.
So yeah, it’s pretty awesome to have two cool hockey uncles looking after them. Both have taken to their roles with ease.
“Ilya is really good to Uncle Shane. He makes him so smiley,” Ruby watches Dad’s face soften.
“He is. He annoys me all the time, but he’s a really good person. And we’re friends. So you can tell that kid at school they’re wrong,” Smiling, Ruby imagines confronting Tilly in class who said Dad and Ilya Rozanov hate each other and there’s no way Ilya Rozanov comes to their house on the weekend and makes hot cocoa and gives her piggyback rides around the garden. Being right tastes so sweet. She learned that from Uncle Shane.
“So you like him, but he annoys you. He’s kind of like your brother,” Dad’s face goes pale and he looks like he might disagree. But with a deep breath he gives her a grin and nods.
“You’re right. He kind of is. Let’s keep that between us, okay?” Ruby nods, but she has an email account on the family computer and she uses it exclusively to contact her friends at school and her Uncles. When she messages Shane he replies with perfect grammar and an attachment of a picture he thinks she might like. Ilya’s messages use slang he’s definitely just invented but they come maybe two minutes after she sends hers. She knows full well her message tonight will spill to Ilya that Dad sees him as a brother.
Two years later, Amber and Jade will preside over the wedding of the century. Decked out in the finest fancy dress pocket money can buy, Uncle Shane and Uncle Ilya will get married under the watchful gaze of their nieces. Not even a year after that, they’ll attend their first ever grownup wedding, in the backyard of Uncle Shane’s (and Uncle Ilya’s, now) cottage, where they’ll dance until their feet hurt and abuse their cake privileges and be thrown in the air by no fewer than six burly hockey players. They’ll beg Svetlana to show them how she does her makeup and pretend not to notice when Mom and Dad sneak off into a dark corner.
When their uncles squat down in front of them, Ilya will kiss their cheeks and whisper that this isn’t their real wedding. This is just for show, because in the playroom under fairy lights and wearing plastic crowns, they got married for real.
Ruby will nudge Jade and stick her tongue out. “I told you,” she’ll say, because she did, because she already knew. Ruby Pike is only eight years old, but she has known for a very long time that Shane and Ilya are destined to be together forever - and Ruby Pike is never, ever wrong.