I. Petals

Steel up. Spinning. Thumb gone and blade turning. Jasmine. Thick. Sweet rot under tongue. Catch. Leather into palm.

Up.

Petals dropping. White. Groundskeeper had not swept. Afraid of her. Twelve years old on cold stone.
Afraid of her.

Sky darkening. Purple edge. Black coming. Spires catching last.

Up. Weightless at the top for one. Then weight returning. Hand there before it arrived. Hand always. Hand the best part. No one taught it. Taught itself.

Boots on stone.

Wrong. Not shuffle. Running. Scuffing. Then breathing. Loud. Wet. Teeth pulling air.

Ash cloak. Sweat dark at collar. Bent double. Courier. Straightened. Bow trembling. Air shifted. She felt it without looking.

Up. Catch.

Voice scraped. Official notice regarding Prince Zuko.

Knife bottom of arc. Hand around it.

Staying.

Two fingers on scroll. Not whole hand. Economy of gesture.

Plum blossom. Mother leaning close. Wrist correction. This angle. Hour with cold tea.

Seal cracking under thumbnail. Flame. Thorns.

Black characters on cream. Eyes moving. Knowing before arriving.

Banished.

Chest tight.

Air wrong.

Tap.

Rain.

Any association with the disgraced. Cease. Severe.

Read again. Characters same. She had known when boots came wrong. Known before. Blind place below stomach. Light going bad. Jasmine thickening. Blossoms falling. Tree giving up.

Breath short.

Face nothing. Wall. Knuckles white on parchment. Edges crinkling inward. Everything into hands. Always hands. Mother did not teach.

Hands did.

Tap. Tap.

Three folds. Crease exact. Sleeve. Silk sound against parchment. Standing. Shadow long on stone. Courier behind her still. Did not dismiss. Dismissing meant he brought something. Nothing. Face wall. Walk. Behind you.

Things cease.

Petal on shoulder.

Two fingers. Flicked. Small killing of soft thing.

Cold stone through robe. Legs stiff.

II. Rain

Room. Held breath.

Table flush to wall. Instruments by height. Bedclothes taut. She had not chosen. Any. Table. Wall. Distance. Tapestry phoenix. Gold thread crimson. Flat eyes watching. Had not chosen eyes. Eyes always.

Sit straight.

Bed's edge. Spine line. Hands lap. Scroll rectangular through silk against forearm. Shape of the thing she was not.

Rain.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Each drop blunt. Sound entering through temples. Wrists. Thin places. Blood close to surface. Surface the whole. Twelve years. Correct posture. Correct tea. Correct face. Surface so smooth she pressed fingers against own cheek sometimes. Checking. Skin or porcelain. When did.

Tap.

Fingers finding scroll edge through silk. Tracing rectangle.

His hand. Palace courtyard. Nine years old. Fire lily stems tangled. Fingers touching.

Hot. Firebender blood.

Pulled away fast. Mother would have been. Mother had not seen. Had not needed. Performed anyway. Empty rooms. Walls had mother's eyes.

Silk warm on wrist. Lantern hissing. Oil smell. Lantern glass ticking.

Knife weight in sleeve. Still there.

Behind bookcase. She knew. Way she knew knife. Hand knowing weight before touch. Shape. Location.
Hand there before it arrived.

Paper. Wings.

Creases uneven. One wing crushed. Thumb pressed too hard. Pressed too hard. Too loud. Too—
Close. His face when he gave it. Earnest. Stupid naked earnest boy holding crooked thing to girl who could not. Could not.

Servant door closing somewhere.
Wood creaking in hall.

Tap.

Spine very straight.

Lantern flame bending. Draft. Light across face. Cheekbones. Jaw. Amber catching flicker. Returning nothing. Surface receiving. Mother's perfect.

Then.

Releasing. Not collapse. Settling. Vertebra. Next. Stone from stone from stone. Shoulders. Chin. Architecture letting go. One breath. Two. Without held shape she was.

Girl. Room. Rain. Lacquer smell.

Scroll against arm like bruise she kept.

Legs numb from sitting.

Tap. Lighter now.

Something shifted. Behind bookcase. Small sound. Light thing losing balance.

Crane slipping.

Tilt.

Wing folding.

Air catching the wing.

Slow.

Paper turning. No weight. No decision. Flutter through lamplight. Landing on dark floor. Sound almost not.

Looked.

Uneven creases. Crushed wing. Paper rough. Yellowed where she touched too many times in dark. Crease sharp under thumb. His thumb. Reading his clumsiness when no one.

Rain on glass. Crane on floor. Face mask. Eyes wet.

Salt at lip.

Not crying. Surface doesn't.

But wet.

Inside leaking.
Salt.

Lantern guttering. Light pulling back. Shadow in hollows. Cheekbones sharp. Eyes dark. Something left. After everyone.

Did not pick up.

Dark. Rain.

III. Ashes

Did not know how long.

Rain thinning. Lantern steady. Crane on floor. Pale on dark wood. Had not moved. Body held. Mind somewhere.

Footsteps. Hallway.

Spine rebuilt between heartbeats. Vertebra on vertebra. Shoulders. Chin. Architecture from nothing. Faster than thought. Wire thing. Mother's masterwork.

The door opened. No knock. Knocking meant person inside had. Door of her own. Room. Choice.

Plum blossom.

Scent entering ahead. Occupation. Lady Michi in frame. Tall. Layered robes. Each fold. Colors calibrated. Face that was Mai's face finished. Every line. Amber same but set. Heated. Cooled. Never liquid again.

You've heard.

Not a question.

Yes.

Flat. Stone skipping. Sinking.

Eyes sweeping. Table. Instruments. Bed. Gaze reaching floor.

Chest. She felt it. Instant. Mother's eyes finding crane.

Fingertip bruise in paper wing.

Gaze continuing. Past crane. Up wall. Paper on floor was paper.

But. Left hand. Farther from Mai. Sleeve fold adjusting. Fabric taut between thumb and forefinger.

Knew those hands. Twelve years reading. Face nothing. Voice less. Left sleeve taut. Visit. Not visit. Saying was formality. Decree formality. Power did not ask. Arrived. Room rearranged.

Household will be inspected.

This week. Decree requires compliance. Compliance visible. Anything associated with prince.

Removed.

She did not look at the crane.

Plum blossom between them. Crane between them. Twelve years between them. Mai on bed. Hands in lap. Beautiful correct hands. Scroll one sleeve. Knife other. Mother did not know about knife. Knife the one. Border. Line in the dark. Mother did not know.

Yes Mother.

Surface. Wall.

Amber on amber. Looking for crack. Seam. Feeling might leak. Stain. Mai gave nothing. Mother's best work.

Behind it Mai was.

Knife in sleeve. Crane on floor. Name on scroll.

Turned. Left.

Plum blossom staying. Always. Authority without body.

Crane. Floor.

IV. Dawn

Rain stopped.

Did not notice when. Silence not empty. Full. Space after closed door full of person who walked through. Mother gone. Plum blossom fading. Room settling. Walls becoming walls.

Window.

Beaded glass. Capital going gray. Soft. Spires blurred. Edges dissolved. Mist rising in streets. First light from east thin. Wet stone shining.

Air cooling on her face. Damp. New.

Believed in new.

She did not. Knife weight. Blade rotation. Distance hand to target. Measurable. Crane inside bookcase. Boy who made it.

Not believed. Kept. Different. Outside for them. Inside for hands. Hands know.

Robe heavy. Gold embroidery. Crimson silk. Weight pressing. Scroll one sleeve. Knife other. Two shapes against skin. One given. One chosen.

Crane in wood.

Turned from window. Face in new light twelve. Dry. Amber giving nothing. Door. Opened. Stood in frame.

Hallway. Long. Dim. Plum blossom faint now. Cold stone underneath. Rain on tile beyond. Servant far. City waking farther. Inside bookcase behind her: crane with uneven folds. Crushed wing. Dark wood. No one would find. With knife. She chose.

Stepped through.

Hand there before it arrived.

Back straight.

Behind her room. Bookcase with secret. Phoenix watching empty space. Gold eyes flat.

Everything aligned.

Everything mother's.

Except—

Except the crane in the wood.

Except the blade in her sleeve.