Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Group chat: The Pittlings 08/07

08:17

Dennis the menace

My head hurts.

Santos (I don’t need a nickname)

Where are you?

Dennis the menace

That is a long story

Javadi (bitches I’m legal now)

He got laid

I’m assuming.

Just realised the certainty I spoke with makes it sound like I was there

Santos (I don’t need a nickname)

Gross

And I guessed that based on your lack of a penis

Dennis the menace

Why do you always assume that I hook up with a guy?

It could have been a girl

Santos (I don’t need a nickname) reacted to this message

Javadi (bitches I’m legal now)

You have ‘bottom eyes’

Or so I’m told

Santos you told me that right?

Dennis the menace

SERIOUSLY?

FINE!

I met a guy, happy?

Santos (I don’t need a nickname)

I’m not actively sandwiched between Garcia and MILF 5000 from law and order so no.

Javadi (bitches I’m legal now)

MILF 5000?

Dennis the menace

Benson

Javadi (bitches I’m legal now)

Ok valid

Who was this guy? You did have a bit of a dance with Jesse.

Dennis the menace

No it was not Jesse

Actively trying not to sleep with coworkers.

I would advise you both try it.

Javadi (bitches I’m legal now)

Rude.

Also, trying?

Me thinks that means you are not succeeding

Santos (I don’t need a nickname)

So that’s why you weren't home, didn’t want me to hear you getting pounded into the mattress

Dennis the menace

I DO NOT HAVE BOTTOM EYES!!!

Santos (I don’t need a nickname)

You have bottom soul.

Lets ask the audience.

Santos (I don’t need a nickname) added Mel King & Samira Mohan and shared chat history

Santos (I don’t need a nickname)

Greetings

Does homotron have bottom eyes?

Dennis the menace

I will murder you

Samira

Reading, bear with.

In a certain light yes you do, sorry

Santos (I don’t need a nickname)

TOLD YOU

Dennis the menace

Mean.

Meanies.

 ————

Private message: Whitaker & Robby

10:32

Whitaker

So…

Robby

So

Whitaker

Is this where I look for a new job?

Robby

Do you feel uncomfortable working with me?

?

Whitaker

Sorry

Almost sent a message about being uncomfortable in another way

But not appropriate

I don’t, but I don’t know how you feel

Robby

As bad as it sounds, this isn't the first time I've slept with a student

At least I know you wont get pregnant

Whitaker

Oh

Ok

Robby

You didn’t know that did you?

Fuck

Whitaker

I did not

So was I just the latest to get some?

Robby

God no

I just meant that I’m able to be professional as well as personal

If that’s what you want?

Whitaker

Wait

You want to do this again?

Robby

You say it like last night was a chore

Whitaker

It definitely was not

But there’s still a lot to think about

Can I come back over tonight?

Robby

Yeah, I’d like that

Whitaker

To talk, I mean. Not sex

Well, maybe not right away 😉

————

Group chat: The Pittlings
11:00

Mel

Sorry, not entirely sure what that means?

Bottom eyes?

Dennis the menace

No, please no.

Santos (I don’t need a nickname)

Basically it’s this look of intense yearning one guy gives to another guy, like when he wants them to take charge.

Mel

Oh. Yes I see that

Dennis the menace

Hate you all.

Dennis the menace left the group

Santos (I don’t need a nickname) Added Dennis Whitaker to the group

Santos (I don’t need a nickname) set Dennis Whitaker’s nickname to Dennis the pussy

Dennis the pussy

Wow

Dennis the pussy changed his nickname to Dennis the menace

Dennis the menace

That’s better

————

Private message: Whitaker & Javadi

11:38

Javadi

So?

Whitaker

So? ?

Javadi

Who was it?

Whitaker

No idea what you’re talking about

Javadi

Was he at the party?

Whitaker

Not saying

Javadi

Pleeeeeeeease

Whitaker

Nope

Javadi

So just a drunken hookup?

Whitaker

I mean I was drunk when I went over there

Javadi

Do you work with him?

Whitaker

No

Javadi

You implied you’d slept with a coworker

Whitaker

And I may have done that, but that doesn’t mean that I did last night

Javadi

Gays are complicated

Whitaker

How many times do I have to say I’m bi before anyone believes me?

Javadi

Way more than you’ve already said because boy you are gay

 ————

Group chat: The Pittlings

12:14

Santos (I don’t need a nickname)

1 image attached

Is this cause for an intervention?

Samira

WTF?

Javadi (bitches I’m legal now)

Wow

Impressive

Scary, but impressive

Dennis the menace

I should have been a priest

Santos (I don’t need a nickname)

Can priests get their backs blown out after a work night out?

So who was it?

Dennis the menace

Just a guy I met

Santos (I don’t need a nickname)

Bullshit

Javadi (bitches I’m legal now)

Yeah you aren’t exactly a social person

Dennis the menace

Who needs social?

It was Grindr

Javadi (bitches I’m legal now)

At least say he had a condom?

Dennis the menace

 …

Javadi (bitches I’m legal now)

Seriously?

Santos (I don’t need a nickname)

Dude

Samira

Not advisable

Dennis the menace

Yeah yeah but I know he’s good

Santos (I don’t need a nickname)

And just how do you know that?

Dennis the menace

God told me.

Chapter Text

Group chat: Gossip queens 09/07

09:14

Princess

Santos…

Why does Whitaker look like he was mauled by a bear?

Santos

Because he was mauled

Yet to determine if it was a bear

Princess

Look at him whipping his head around like that, he’s so nervous

Santos

Hot gossip?

Perlah

Always

Santos 

There is a chance that huckleberry has had an encounter

Princess

Aliens? 🤨

Santos

Sent too quick

An encounter with a coworker

Perlah

😳😳😳

Who?

Santos

Unknown, but…

Actively trying not to sleep with coworkers.

Is what he said he was doing.

Princess

Evidence is skinnier than a Victoria secret model

But intriguing.

Perlah

Any of these guys into guys?

Santos

Jesse.

Princess

Robby for sure, 100% repressed vibes

Santos

Langdon would go for anything with a pulse

Princess

Mateo might swing that way

Santos

So yeah a few

Perlah

Hold.

Santos

She good?

Perlah

5 was coding

All good now

Keeping an eye on him though

Princess

5 or Whitaker?

Perlah

Both.

 ————

Private message: Robby & Whitaker

11:22

Whitaker

May have to kill this med student

Robby

The tall one?

Whitaker

Yep

Robby

As your boss I should state that threats against coworkers will not be tolerated

As your boyfriend I say go for it

Whitaker

You do realise that we have to get married now right?

Can’t have you testifying against me

Robby

Already suggesting marriage?

Whitaker

Let’s see how the day goes

If I don’t murder the guy then you don’t need to worry about looking at rings

Robby

I can think of a joke here

————

Private message: Trin Trin & Huckster

11:29

Trin Trin

The only reason you have to be grinning at your phone like that is a man

Spill

Huckster

He endorses my murderous thoughts

Trin Trin

Slightly worrisome but ok

————

Group chat: Day shift

19:10

Robby

So a reminder for all staff, I realise that we all have lives outside of work, but when possible please avoid bringing reminders of outside activities into work.

Santos

@Whitaker please come to work without your neck tomorrow.

Whitaker

 …

Apologies

 ————

Private message: Robby & Whitaker

19:12

Whitaker

I could end you right now

Robby

You wouldn’t

Whitaker

Try me

 ————

Group chat: Day shift

19:14

Whitaker

I would just like to say

 ————

Private message: Robby & Whitaker

19:15

Robby

Walking a dangerous line

 ————

Group chat: Day shift

19:15

Whitaker

That I did not realise how bad it was before I came in. I apologise for my unprofessionalism. It will be rectified tomorrow.

Princess

Weird… but ok.

Next time we want details

Robby

No we do not

Jesse

⬆️ Agreed ⬆️

Langdon

Yeah I’m good on details

McKay

Same

Kim

I’m muting this

 ————

Group chat: Gossip queens

19:17

Santos

Anyone else find that odd?

Me thinks something is afoot

Princess

Sure it’s not aleg?

I’ll see myself out.

 ————

Private message: Whitaker &💩

20:01

💩

You need me to take the med students tomorrow? You looked pissed at them today

————

Private message: Robby & Whitaker

20:02

Robby

Would it be inappropriate to tell you how good you looked doing CPR earlier?

————

Private message: Whitaker &💩

20:02

Whitaker

Would it be inappropriate to tell you how much I was thinking about riding you while I was doing CPR earlier?

💩

Uhhh

Extremely

Unless this a wrong number situation

Whitaker

FUCK

WRONG NUMBER

WRONG NUMBER

————

Private message: Whitaker & Robby

20:04

Whitaker

SHIT

SHIT

SHIT SHIT SHIT

I JUST TOLD LANGDON I WAS THINKING ABOUT RIDING HIM WHILE I WAS DOING CPR

Robby

Oh

Ok

I assume you meant to tell me that

Whitaker

OBVIOUSLY

Robby

Just checking

Thinking about that very much now

Whitaker

No.

Not even funny Michael

————

Private message: Whitaker &💩

20:09

💩

Good

I mean that you weren't saying that about me

Whitaker

How about we stop talking before one of us has to change programs?

💩

Sensible

But just to clarify

Whitaker

I was not thinking about having sex with you while administering CPR Langdon

💩

Cool

Cool

Wouldn't judge you if you were

#Ally

Whitaker

Frank

Stop texting

💩

Yeah

But the med students?

Whitaker

Oh yeah, please. The tall one can be a pain so watch him, not really patient sensitive.

————

Private message: Robby & Whitaker

20:14

Robby

So as long as that’s cleared up

You were thinking about riding me?

Whitaker

Seriously?

Yes I was.

So as long as that is cleared up

You’re thinking about me and Langdon?

Robby

I’ll admit that my ability to read tone over text isn’t the best

Is that a flirty question or a serious question?

Whitaker

Take a guess Michael.

Robby

Ok, first name basis

Serious then

Whitaker

Right on the first guess

Robby

It was a joke, nothing serious meant

Whitaker

A joke? Seriously?

Robby

Yeah

You’re two hot guys, it’d be like my personal porno

Whitaker

Really not helping yourself

Robby

Are we actually arguing about this?

Whitaker

Gee, my boyfriend of 24 hours is joking about me sleeping with someone else

Feels like an argument

Robby

Ok, I’m sorry

I didn’t mean it as anything other than a way to lighten the mood

Whitaker

Well it had the opposite effect

Robby

What do you want me to say Dennis? You’re two good looking young guys, of course it’s something that would look good

But it’s not like it’d ever happen

Whitaker

I want you to be serious about this instead of joking about me and Langdon of all people

Robby

Of all people?

What does that mean?

Whitaker

You know exactly what it means

Robby

No, I really don’t

Explain it

Whitaker

Explain it?

Well you just bedded his replacement so excuse me for worrying that you might want to get some of the real thing?

Robby

So now you’re saying I want to sleep with Frank?

And don’t call yourself his replacement

Whitaker

Why not?

We both know it’s true

If it wasn’t then you wouldn’t be treating me differently

And yeah I have noticed that, and I didn’t say anything because I liked it

Even when I heard all of the nurses talking about me being the new Langdon and I realised that maybe I wasn’t that special

Robby

Dennis. You are not Frank, and I have never seen you as Frank

I see you as you

As the sweet, caring and adorable kid who quoted scripture and helped me get through one of the worst days of my life.

And I care about you because of all of that. That’s why I kissed you

So maybe I do play favourites in work, and yeah he was one

But you’re more than he’ll ever be

20:32

Dennis?

 ————

Private message: Trin Trin & Huckster 10/07

02:04

Trin Trin

There is no conceivable reason for you to be this loud at 2AM

Huckster

Men

Men is my reason

Trin Trin

They couldn’t teach basic English back in farm country?

Huckster

Fine

A man is my reason

Trin Trin

There we go

But still

2AM

Crisis later

Huckster

Crisis still now

Crisis unavoidable

Trin Trin

So men are the crisis?

Any particular men?

Huckster

Yes

Trin Trin

What’s he done?

Huckster

Made a joke about a threesome

Trin Trin

Ew

Huckster

You very recently mentioned a threesome with Garcia and MILF 5000

Trin Trin

Yeah but women

This is men

So is it you not liking the man suggested or the idea of a threesome?

Huckster

Both

He says the guy suggested was a joke

Full disclosure

Langdon messaged me mid conversation with the guy so my reply went to Langdon and now he thinks that I was day dreaming about sex with him while at work

Which I wasn’t

Trin Trin

EW

EW

EW

Langdon???

Huckster

I WASN’T

Trin Trin

Still

Huckster

I know

So I told the guy and he made a joke that lead to him saying he wouldn’t mind seeing me and another guy getting freaky

Trin Trin

Oh

So not a threesome

Cuckolding

Huckster

Is that a term I should know?

Trin Trin

Consensual cheating

You gays are messy

Huckster

Bisexual disaster right here

Trin Trin

Did you just?

You made a pop culture reference successfully

He fucked the Amish out of you

Huckster

Was never Amish but sure

 ————

Group chat: Gossip queens

02:15

Santos

Langdon is a no

Anyone see Whitaker staring at anyone with an intense homoerotic gaze today?

Or yesterday I mean?

Princess

You realise what time it is right?

But apart from Robby no

 …

Santos

They do get handsy

But surely not?

Right??

Princess

Went back to sleep

No way

Dana would cut his balls off

Santos

That is an image

Momma getting mad

Princess

Momma?

Santos

Work mom

Kind

Caring

Scary AF

Princess

Girl you weird.

Sleep

 ————

Private message: Robby & Whitaker

05:42

Robby

You didn’t answer last night so now I’m worried

05:56

Dennis?

Look I am sorry about making that joke

Now you know why I’m not the best at relationships

Come up to the roof when you get in and we can talk

Away from everyone, and you can shout at me in person if you want to

06:20

Please?

Chapter Text

Group chat: Day shift 10/07

06:30

Dana

Work on 9th street bridge

Avoid

Mateo

Now you tell me

McKay

And me

Mohan

You live on this side of the river

McKay

That’s correct

Mateo

Ohhh

McKay

Yeah

Donnie

Can someone please confirm that they made brownies?

They look delicious but I’ve seen Greys Anatomy

Kim

Brownies? Where?

McKay

Save me some

Santos

Break room, and they’re good Donnie

Farm boy made them at like 2AM

Whitaker

Yeah please enjoy the fruits of my stress baking

Donnie

Just ignore the dummy

McKay

Save me some

Mateo

I mean not the sort of baking you’d expect at that time but I’m here for it

Literally just walking in

Also the dummy?

Kim

Shit they’re good

McKay

Save me damn brownies

Mateo

1 picture attached

The dummy

 ————

Group chat: Nurses unite

06:37

Kim

Not to be rude but can someone stress him out more often

This shit is good

Jesse

Tell him you want to try again

Donnie

😳

Mateo

🤨

Kim

Really? Am I gonna have to commit a hate crime?

Dana

No planning of hate crimes in this chat

And can someone get that dummy out of the break room?

But seriously ask him out again, that’ll be cupcake level stress

Kim

It was like two dates over a week

And I don’t care what he says, that boy is gay

Jesse

Agreed

Also the dummy is holding the brownies

Kim

Ask him out Jesse, see how that goes

Jesse

You seen those marks on his neck? He is definitely taken

Mateo

3

Donnie

2

Kim

1

Princess

Discussing Whitaker’s boyfriend?

Donnie

Like clockwork

Princess

So it wasn’t you Jesse?

Jesse

Does everyone think that just because we’re two guys who like men that work in close proximity that we’ll automatically hook up?

Mateo

Dude it’s Princess

You need to ask that?

Princess

You did look very close at Javadi’s party 😉

Kim

Oh yeah

Jesse

Not my type

Also way too short for me to leave that mark

Mateo

Not if you were laying down

Princess

Doing the horizontal hump

Kim

The mattress mambo

Mateo

The coffee table cha-cha

Dana

GET TO WORK

 ————

Group chat: Gossip queens

06:39

Princess

Jesse says no

Santos

You believe him?

Princess

Undecided

 ————

Private message: Robby & Whitaker

06:45

Robby

Should I be worried?

Dennis

About?

Robby

So you are reading these

Stress baking

Dennis

I am, and heading up now

Depends

You got any other kinks you’ve never mentioned?

Robby

Nothing that involves other people

How would you feel about a hot nurse?

Dennis

Like I wasted four years in med school

You do this trek every shift?

Robby

Fair point

Pretty much

Come over tonight?

Dennis

For?

Robby

An actual conversation

So I can apologise

And make dinner

And do that thing that has you biting the pillow

Dennis

 …

Ok

 ————

Group chat: The Pittlings

13:22

Santos (I don’t need a nickname)

Girls night at ours tonight

Huckleberry is also invited 🙄

Dennis the menace

To my own home? Why thank you

Unfortunately I have plans

Santos (I don’t need a nickname)

With who? Mystery man???

Dennis the menace

 … yes

Javadi (bitches I’m legal now)

We want details

Not crazy details just a name

Samira

Forgot I was in this one but sure

Yeah please no crazy details

Dennis the menace

Why do you all act like I’m gonna start showing dick pics?

Santos (I don’t need a nickname)

Because you have shown me one before

Dennis the menace

Who’s?

Santos (I don’t need a nickname)

No idea, but it looked painful

Samira

How about we work now?

 ————

Private message: 💩 & Whitaker

14:35

💩

The tall one is a pain in the ass

You have the patience of a saint

And the mind of a sinner

Whitaker

No

Just no

But thank you, he is a pain

Humble him?

💩

I’ll try

 ————

Group chat: The Pittlings

15:00

Santos (I don’t need a nickname)

OMFA

Javadi (bitches I’m legal now)

?

Santos (I don’t need a nickname)

OMFA

Javadi (bitches I’m legal now)

Again

?

Santos (I don’t need a nickname)

OMFA

Old Man Flirting Alert

Javadi (bitches I’m legal now)

Ohhh

Where?

So I can avoid

Santos (I don’t need a nickname)

Central

Dennis the menace

I’m at central, just me and Robby

Santos (I don’t need a nickname)

And that old man be flirting

Javadi (bitches I’m legal now)

😳

Dennis the menace

He is not flirting

Santos (I don’t need a nickname)

He’s laughing at your jokes

Nobody laughs at your jokes

Dennis the menace

Rude

Samira

But true

Oh yeah he flirting

Haven't seen him laugh like that since Collins

Javadi (bitches I’m legal now)

Oh he running now

 ————

Group chat: Nurses unite

15:04

Donnie

Ok where'd the stressball go?

Jesse

?

Donnie

Whitaker

Robby’s human stressball

Kim

No idea, but boss looks pissed

Oh look at that, all of these sheets need checking

Mateo

Stressball is running

Apparently Robby was flirting

Take from that what you will

Donnie

3

Kim

2

Mateo

1

Perlah

Flirting?

Hmmmmm

Dana

Jesus Christ do we need a no phone rule?

 ————

Trinity Santos created the group

15:10

Trinity Santos named the group the Pittlings- Huckleberry

Santos

Anyone see where he went?

Mohan

Nope

Santos

Odds on him and Robby 8==><==8

?

Mohan

Ew

Maybe

Bare with

————

Private message: Samira & Jack

15:12

Samira

Whitaker and Robby

What do you know?

Jack

I’m in bed

Samira

Don’t try and distract me

Jack

No idea if there’s anything happening, but Robby has major eyes for the kid

And a major boner

Samira

Thank you

You may sleep now

 ————

Group chat: the Pittlings- Huckleberry

15:14

Mohan

Odds are very high

Robby is interested

Santos

You know this how?

Mohan

I have my sources

Javadi

Abbot

Mohan

How did you figure that out?

Santos

From that

Also you look like you want to climb that short man like a tree

Or a shrub

Mohan

Oh

But yeah Abbot confirmed there is a boner

 ————

Private message: Robby & Whitaker

15:17

Robby

Any reason you took off running?

Whitaker

Santos said you were flirting

Robby

I was flirting

Whitaker

Exactly

See the problem?

Robby

Honestly? No

Whitaker

You were flirting with me at work

We don’t do that

Robby

We could?

Look I know this is different, and it’s a lot with our positions

But HR is just a few floors up

Whitaker

You want to go public?

Now?

Robby

Only if you do

Whitaker

I don’t know if I could handle how everyone would look at me

Could we tell HR without being super public?

Not trying to be a closet case, but this way you don’t have to stop touching me

Robby

Is that really a priority?

Whitaker

In the time I’ve been gone how many people have given you dirty looks?

 ————

Group chat: Nurses unite

15:21

Mateo

Stressball found in closet

Donnie

Fork found in kitchen

 ————

Group chat: the Pittlings- Huckleberry

15:22

Javadi

He’s back

Santos

Praise the lord

I was about to pick up one of his cases

And of course Robby has his hands on him

They just need to fuck and get it over with

Javadi

They’d be worse after that

Or at least Whitaker would

The bottom eyes

Mohan

Hey don’t knock sleeping with an attending. It’s good

Santos

Me has an idea

 ————

Trinity Santos created the group

19:47

Trinity Santos named the group: The bet

Santos

Welcome all

This one cannot be on the board so we’re doing this here

Javadi

Oh god no

Mohan

You’re not serious

Santos

When are Whitaker and Robby gonna get freaky???

Princess

Oh this is too good

Dana

Really? You think this appropriate?

Santos

Nope, but neither is what they have going on

Dana

Fair point

Go for it

Kim

What about Whitaker’s bear?

Donnie

Robby might be the bear

Emma

What does a teddy have to do with this?

Jesse

Sweet summer child

 ————

Private message: Jesse & Emma

19:50

Jesse

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bear_(gay_culture)

Emma

Ohhhhhh

 ————

Group chat: The bet

19:52

Jesse

Robby wouldn’t be a bear though

Maybe a wolf

Kim

A fox?

Isn’t that what someone called Abbot?

Jesse

He’s a silver fox

Robby isn’t grey enough

Abbot

Trying not to be insulted

Jesse

😳

Santos

Yeah it’s basically everyone but those two in this chat

Abbot

So what are the rules?

Mateo

Please don’t say we need video confirmation

Santos

Verbal for the deed, video or photo for light action

And we can only nudge, no locking them in a closet together

Abbot

Can I lock them on the roof?

Mohan

A trauma room?

Langdon

Can I threaten either of them?

Santos

No

No

You need help

McKay

So do we need to give specific dates or is this gonna be a weekly thing?

Just for specifics?

Santos

Everyone gets a week of their choosing, but only one choice

If nobody wins we go again.

Donnie

What if they go public on a week that isn’t ours but they got together in our week?

Santos

Uhhh

It’s the week they go public, so you’d lose

Up to the winner if you get anything

Dana

10 dollars on Halloween week

Donnie

20 on W/C 21st September

Santos

Ooh Donnie raising the stakes

Donnie

Jewish holiday of repentance, best chance to get guilty Robby with the stressball

Princess

Week starting 7th September

Labor day and Jewish new year, double the odds. $30

————

Private message: Trin Trin & Huckster

20:02

Huckster

You seen that ham I got?

Trin Trin

Putting $20 on Thanksgiving, no way Huckleberry doesn’t get drunk and spill

————

Group chat: The bet

20:03

Santos

In the fridge

Princess

?

Santos

Wrong chat

————

Private message: Trin Trin & Huckster

20:05

Huckster

What am I meant to do at Thanksgiving?

Trin Trin

Fuck

Chapter Text

Private message: Trin Trin & Huckster

20:06

Trin Trin

So funny story

That was not meant for you

Huckster

Oh really?

*He said with sarcasm*

Trin Trin

Never should have introduced you to that

Huckster

Talk

Trin Trin

Nope

 Huckster

I’ll tell Garcia that it was you who broke her phone

And ruined that sweater

Trin Trin

I WILL MURDER YOU

Huckster

TALK

Trin Trin

I’ll be home in five

————

Private message: Robby & Whitaker

20:34

Whitaker

OMW now

Robby

?

Whitaker

On my way

Robby

Ahh

Also

Robby set Dennis Whitaker’s nickname to Dennis

Dennis

Oh my

In that case

Dennis set Michael Robinavitch’s nickname to Michael

Dennis

Just so we’re on the same page

Michael

Interesting

I like it

Dennis

No

Sorry

Dennis set Michael Robinavitch’s nickname to Robby

Dennis

That just looked weird

Nobody calls you Michael

I didn’t call you that while you were inside me

Robby

You called me that when you were yelling at me via text

Dennis

True

That’s now your argument name

If I call you Michael then you are in deep shit

Robby

What about when I marry you so I can’t testify against you?

Dennis

When?

You know there’s a reason there are rumours about us

Robby

There are rumours?

Dennis

Theres a whole bet

4 images attached

Robby

Set up by your friend I see

Dennis

That includes both of your emergency contacts

One of whom knows you have a major boner for me

Robby

Very true

Get here quick and I’ll prove it

Dennis

Yes sir

 ————

Group chat: The Pittlings 12/07

22:13

Dennis the menace

Vic you have the rest of your life to drink you don’t need to keep ordering drinks

1 image attached

Samira

Jesus girl

You know you have work tomorrow right?

Why are you even out?

Dennis the menace

Santos

1 image attached

Samira

She looks comfortable

Tell Garcia I said hi

Dennis the menace

When she doesn’t have a tongue down her throat I will

Javadi (bitches I’m legal now)

I didn’t order anything else

But I see two old dudes looking at the table

Dennis the menace

Looking how?

Javadi (bitches I’m legal now)

Like they’re thinking of how best to use it

Dennis the menace

Oh

Like?

Samira

This is too good

Mel

Sorry, just seen this

What’s happening?

Samira

Whitaker has admirers

Twink bait

Dennis the menace

Is this the bully me chat?

First it’s bottom eyes now it’s twink bait

 ————

Private message: Robby & Dennis

22:19

Dennis

Am I a twink?

Robby

You know what time it is?

Dennis

There’s a clock on my phone so yes

Now answer the question

Robby

Do you want to be a twink?

Dennis

Not the question

Robby

Uhhh

You have twink-like qualities

And I can see how some may describe you as a twink

Dennis

But?

Robby

No you’re not a twink

Dennis

THANK YOU!

 ————

Group chat: The Pittlings

22:23

Dennis the menace

Received confirmation that I am not a twink

Javadi (bitches I’m legal now)

From who?

Dennis the menace

Your dad

Sorry that was a bit too far

Javadi (bitches I’m legal now)

Wow

Those guys are still looking BTW

Dennis the menace

Then get back here

If I drink them then it’s saying I want them

If you drink them then it says you like free booze

 ————

Private message: Robby & Dennis

22:26

Robby

So why are you asking about being a twink?

Dennis

Two guys are sending drinks to the table and Samira thinks it’s because they want to do me on said table

Robby

Who’s there with you?

Dennis

Trin, Vic and Garcia

Robby

Put your location on, coming to get you

Dennis

Why?

Robby

What if they try to do something?

Dennis

They sent a few drinks to the table

Which I haven’t touched

If they were gonna do something else they would have

Don’t worry

Robby

I don’t like the idea of you and the ladies being out alone

Dennis

Honestly you spread your legs for a guy a few times and suddenly you’re a damsel in distress

Robby

Not what I said at all

But I think I’m within my rights to worry about you when old men are looking at you like that

Dennis

Because I’ve never had an old man looking at me like that

Robby

Well the last old man did want you very badly

Just be safe, and don’t drink anything they buy you

Dennis

Don’t worry, Victoria’s the one drinking them

Robby

Seriously?

Yeah I’m coming to get you

Dennis

Noooooo

The bet

It’s Kim’s week

We’ll uber

Might be hungover in the morning so put me on chairs

Robby

Sleeping with the boss to get your choice of assignments?

Dennis

Sleeping with the boss because he can throw me around the bedroom like a ragdoll

How about I come over?

Robby

And the ladies?

Dennis

Yeah we’ve already talked about threesomes

Robby

I meant what are you gonna do about leaving them there?

Dennis

It’s only Vic who’s drunk

The lesbians will get it sorted

 ————

Group chat: The Pittlings

22:34

Dennis the menace

Trin where’d you go

You need to take custody of the child

Samira

Child?

Javadi (bitches I’m legal now)

Child says hi

Where are you going?

Dennis the menace

Somewhere I can do the stuff that those guys want to do to me, but with someone else

Javadi (bitches I’m legal now)

Dirty bitch

Santos (I don’t need a nickname)

Huh?

Yeah defo Twink

Also your dad is a DILF

Fine I take custody, go get some

Dennis the menace

Thank you

Mel

What’s a DILF?

 ————

Group chat: Nurses unite 13/07

08:05

Jesse

 …

Kim

And I thought last week was bad

Princess

What was bad?

Jesse

Kids are hungover

Kim

That’s what your message was about?

Jesse

Yeah

What was yours about?

Kim

Whitaker is on scrubs #2 for the day

His back matches my living room

Perlah

Barely decorated?

Jesse

In need of a better couch?

Kim

PURPLE

Princess

Ohhh

 ————

Group chat: Gossip queens

08:15

Princess

Santos

What happened last night?

Santos

What?

How the fuck did you know about that?

You missed your calling in the CIA

Princess

Girl

CIA got nothing on me

Also it’s obvious

Santos

Ok look you cannot say anything

It was one kiss

A drunken kiss that we agreed not to speak about while sober

So silence

Ok?

Princess

Uhh I don’t know what you’re talking about

I meant Whitaker

He got freaky right?

A kiss?

Santos

Shit

Yeah he went to a guy’s place

How bad?

Perlah

Robby just clapped him on the back and he winced

Santos

Fucking idiot

Perlah

So….

A kiss?

Santos

FUCK

 ————

Private message: Santos & Javadi

09:20

Santos

You do not breath a word of last night to anyone ok?

Not a single word

Javadi

Believe me I wasn’t going to go blabbing

Your girlfriend scares me

Not a bad kisser though

Santos

NOT ONE WORD

But seriously she is so good it’s unreal

Javadi

You weren’t bad either

Santos

Nope, stop now

 ————

Group chat: Day shift

19:07

Robby

So just a reminder of my last message

Please avoid bringing in reminders of extra curricular activities

 ————

Private Message: Robby & Dennis

19:08

Dennis

Bitch that was you!!!!

Robby

Just had to remind you who you belong to 😉

Dennis

Oh we’re doing that are we?

 ————

Group chat: Day shift

19:10

Whitaker

Blame Santos

She took custody of the child

Donnie

The child?

Javadi

Me

Let’s not talk about that though

Robby

Agreed

 ————

Private Message: Robby & Dennis

20:36

Robby

How would you feel about not working next weekend?

Dennis

Depends

Which ER director do I need to sleep with for it?

Robby

That’s what the weekend is for

Dennis

Coming over now for a preview

 ————

Private message: Garcia & Santos

20:49

Garcia

How was your day?

Santos

That really where we’re at?

Garcia

Considering you avoided me every time I came down today, yeah

Santos

You know how charting gets

Garcia

Trinity

Santos

Ok I didn’t know what to say

Last night made things weird

Garcia

Weird how?

Santos

You were kissing someone else

Garcia

You kissed that same person

Santos

Yeah and I feel gross about it

And I feel gross about you doing it because I saw it and I just wanted to push you off of her

Garcia

Oh

You were jealous

Santos

Yeah I was jealous

Garcia

I was jealous too

Santos

I don’t think we can do this anymore

Not like this

I can’t just be a hookup

Garcia

Is that really how you see yourself?

Trinity you’re more than that, much more

Santos

You’ve never said that

Garcia

Then let me say it now so you have it in writing before I say it later

I’m falling for you and I want us to be something

All the labels

Santos

All of the labels?

Garcia

Well all within reason

Santos

Like girlfriends?

Garcia

Hell yes

 ————

Private message: Javadi & Whitaker

23:15

Javadi

Can’t sleep

Tell me you’re not with Santos rn

Whitaker

Not at this moment, why?

Javadi

Nobody can know what I’m about to say, ok?

Whitaker

This sounds ominous

Javadi

Nobody

Whitaker

Ok, nobody

Javadi

I killed Garcia

Whitaker

What?

Javadi

KISSED

KISSED GARCIA

23:24

Dennis?

 ————

Private message: Robby & Abbot

23:27

Robby

I need a favour

Abbot

Where’s the body?

Robby

Worse

Abbot

Oh god

Robby

I need to drop an injury in

And nobody can know it was me who brought him in

Abbot

Ok starting to scare me

You beat someone up or something?

Like I’ll save him but still

Robby

Nothing like that

Although I did leave some bruises

Abbot

Ohhh

Robby

What’s your week for the bet?

Abbot

Bet?

No

Robby

Five minutes out

 ————

Private message: Javadi & Whitaker

23:50

Javadi

Please tell me I didn’t kill you

Whitaker

Nope, just sent me to the ER

Javadi

Huh?

Whitaker

Cooking pasta and hearing about your best friend being cheated on don’t mix well

Javadi

Ok there was no cheating

Whitaker

Ok I know they aren't like official but still

It’s bad

Javadi

Jesus I kissed Santos too

Whitaker

I’m confused

There was no cheating?

Javadi

Do I look like I’d be a dirty mistress?

Don’t answer that

Are you actually in the ER?

Whitaker

Yep

Shen says hi

He’s also giving me a dirty looks as I try to type with two hands

Javadi

Say nothing

Whitaker

Because Shen is really one for gossip

Javadi

Dude

He’s like the Princess of the night shift

Whitaker

Shit

 ————

Private message: Robby & Abbot 14/07

00:27

Abbot

Kid is gonna be fine

Minor burns

Robby

Thanks man

When are you discharging?

Abbot

Whenever I get the chance

You’re inheriting a fun board

Robby

We’ll manage

Abbot

So

We gonna talk about it?

Robby

Did we ever talk about you and Samira?

Abbot

True

Robby

Not a word to her

Or anyone

Abbot

On my good leg

 ————

Group chat: Night shift for the win

02:43

Shen

Did I just see Robby?

Ellis

Bit early to be hallucinating

Shen

No I actually saw him

Weird

Chapter Text

Group chat: The Pittlings  23/07

07:25

Santos (I don’t need a nickname)

We need a night out

Like Out

Out out

Dennis the menace

Obviously someone spent the past week watching TOWIE

Also it’s my day off and I forgot to silence my phone 🥲

Santos (I don’t need a nickname)

Bitch you were watching it with me

When you weren’t messaging mystery man

Samira

TOWIE?

Santos (I don’t need a nickname)

The Only Way Is Essex

Dennis the menace

They just do nothing

Santos (I don’t need a nickname)

It’s like the Kardashians but British

Dennis the menace

Except none of this lot made the show because of a sex tape

Or were famous before

Santos (I don’t need a nickname)

Well gel

Javadi (bitches I’m legal now)

Well gel?

Santos (I don’t need a nickname)

Well jealous

Dennis the menace

They’re like valley girls in LA with less tan

Santos (I don’t need a nickname)

What were we talking about?

Javadi (bitches I’m legal now)

Going out

Santos (I don’t need a nickname)

YES

it’ll be fun

Samira

Sure

When?

Santos (I don’t need a nickname)

Huck check the schedule

This weekend?

Dennis the menace

Can’t this weekend, plans

Santos (I don’t need a nickname)

The only people you make plans with are in this chat

Dennis the menace

The fact that I’m in somebody else’s bed rn says differently

Samira

Awww he has a date

Dennis the menace

A date is dinner and drinks

This more a weekend in a cabin by a lake with very little clothing involved

Javadi (bitches I’m legal now)

WHAT?

Santos (I don’t need a nickname)

Since when?

Dennis the menace

We planned it last week

Javadi (bitches I’m legal now)

You barely know this guy

Samira

And you’re going to a cabin in the woods?

Santos (I don’t need a nickname)

That’s literally the name of a horror film

A cabin BY A LAKE

What if he’s an axe murderer?

Dennis the menace

Then I’ll be late with rent

Samira

Dennis

Dennis the menace

Ok fine, one sec

 ————

Private Message: Robby & Dennis

07:30

Dennis

Come upstairs a sec?

Robby

But breakfast in bed

Dennis

Need you to assure the girls that you’re not an axe murderer

Robby

Because that’s not odd

Dennis

Get your perfect ass up here

Robby

We both know who has the perfect ass

Dennis

Get that great dick up here

Robby

On my way

 ————

Group chat: The Pittlings

07:33

Dennis the menace

Boyfriend here

Not an axe murderer

Santos (I don’t need a nickname)

Funny huckleberry

Dennis the menace

1 image received

Samira

Shit this is the boyfriend

Santos (I don’t need a nickname)

Tell huckleberry to put some clothes on

Dennis the menace

Still the boyfriend

Dunno about that. I like him without them

Javadi (bitches I’m legal now)

Gross

Santos (I don’t need a nickname)

How old are you?

Samira

Seriously?

You think Dennis is gonna answer that?

Dennis the menace

Dennis is giving me a look that says if I answer that then I wont get sex now so I will pass on that question

Samira

Damn it

Javadi (bitches I’m legal now)

At least give us a name

Please?

Dennis the menace

Dennis here

Boyfriend is gone back to making breakfast, so no more questions

Santos (I don’t need a nickname)

DAMN IT

Dennis the menace

But I did check the schedule

Im on nights with Mel on the 29th, and the rest of you are off that day, so the 28th?

Santos (I don’t need a nickname)

Fine

Im getting you wasted and interrogating you btw

Dennis the menace

I grew up on a farm remember? I can handle my drinks

 ————

Group chat: The Pittlings- Huckleberry

07:45

Santos

When I say I need to know who this guy is I’m not kidding

Samira

I may have saved that picture so I could try and find something in the background

Javadi

And?

Samira

Nothing

Mel

Why are we using both chats?

Santos

Where were you?

Mel

Uhh

Long story

Javadi

Intriguing

Mel

If the married couple are separated and in the process of divorce, does a kiss count as adultery?

Samira

MEL

Javadi

WHAT?

WHO?

Samira

Langdon

Mel

Wait how did you know?

Samira

From that

GOD THAT FEELS GOOD TO SAY TO SOMEONE ELSE

Javadi

Also he’s grinning like a hyena rn

Samira

Also unclear on the adultery side of things

Santos

If they’re separated then kinda but it’s not malicious adultery

One sec

 ————

Group chat: The Pittlings

08:00

Santos (I don’t need a nickname)

Mel and Langdon are doing it

Mel

WHAT?

Santos (I don’t need a nickname)

Couldn’t keep him out of the gossip

So that means over 50% of us are sleeping with coworkers

Mel

Oh uh no

We just kissed

Santos (I don’t need a nickname)

Fine

40%

Unless

Dennis the menace

Good try

But not giving you any information about the man in my bed

Samira

I mean you’re in his bed

We saw

Santos (I don’t need a nickname)

If he was in your bed then I’d know who he was by now

Dennis the menace

Would you though? 😉

Santos (I don’t need a nickname)

🤨

What does that mean?

Dennis the menace

You’re not always home

Santos (I don’t need a nickname)

You brought a guy home without letting me meet him?

Rude

Dennis the menace

I know that I didn’t meet all the girls before Garcia

Santos (I don’t need a nickname)

Don’t use my own argument against me

 ————

Private message: Mel & Langdon

11:08

Mel

So

People may know about us

Langdon

Already?

Who saw?

Mel

No one, I just had a question about what happened and the details kinda came out

Well actually you were very happy afterwards and the pieces were easy to put together

Langdon

Oh

So who knows?

Mel

Samira

Victoria

Santos

Whitaker

Whitaker’s boyfriend presumably (No confirmed identity)

Langdon

So just a few people

Mel

Well you did kiss me at work

It was gonna come out

At least it wasn’t Princess who found out

 ————

Group chat: Gossip queens

11:15

Princess

Something has changed

I feel it in the air

The ancestors have spoken to me

Perlah

I can’t deal with you sometimes

Chapter Text

Private message: Trin Trin & Huckster 24/07

13:00

Trin Trin

You there yet?

13:40

You there yet?

15:00

Tell me you’re there and not dead

16:37

You there yet?

 ————

Group chat: The Pittlings- Huckleberry

17:00

Santos

No response to my messages

There’s a chance he’s been murdered

Mel

Or he has no signal

Javadi

Don’t even say that when she’s worried he’s getting murdered

Samira

It’s a romantic weekend right? He could be doing other things

Santos

To the main chat

 ————

Group chat: The Pittlings

17:06

Santos (I don’t need a nickname)

@Dennis

You alive

Javadi (bitches I’m legal now)

@Dennis

Mel

@Dennis please just answer

Samira

@Dennis put us out of our misery please

I have a date

Let me know when we get proof of life

 ————

Private message: Trin Trin & Huckster 25/07

08:06

Huckster

47 missed calls

47

Missed calls

What the fuck?

Trin Trin

You weren't answering

Huckster

I was on a date

And getting laid

So apologies for not taking my phone onto the deck when my boyfriend cooks me dinner

Trin Trin

Well now I know you're alive so apology accepted

Now let everyone else know

 ————

Group chat: The Pittlings

08:10

Dennis the menace

Good news

I’m alive

No axe murder

Just a very romantic evening

Samira

Well good for you

Does he have a boat?

Dennis the menace

No he does not

Why?

Samira

Just checking that we won’t need to worry about never finding your body if he’s lulling you into a false sense of security

And also if he’s a boyfriend or a sugar daddy

Because a cabin by the lake is sugar daddy material

Javadi (Bitches I’m legal now)

Doesn’t your boyfriend have a cabin?

Oh please don’t say you’re sleeping with the same guy

Samira

Considering he’s in bed with me I’d say not

Dennis the menace

Boyfriend here again

Not a sugar daddy Samira

Also why don’t you have a nickname?

Santos (I don’t need a nickname)

So part rich, interesting

And we haven’t had a proper night out to award her with a nickname yet

We could have tonight if you hadn’t kidnapped Dennis

Dennis the menace

I did not kidnap anyone

Even if there were some restraints involved last night 😉

Javadi (Bitches I’m legal now)

😂😂😂

Ok I like this guy

Samira

You’re a sick sick man

————

Private message: Robby & Abbot

08:21

Abbot

Bondage? Really?

Robby

How the hell did you know about that?

Do you have cameras at this cabin?

Abbot

Only on the outside

But I’m reading Samira’s chat

Thanks for mentioning it though

I can add it to our list

Robby

You dirty old man

Abbot

I’m younger than you

And Samira is older than Whitaker

So if anyone is a dirty old man it’s you

Robby

Oh 100%

But he loves it

Whitaker here

I do

Abbot

So you just juggle between chats?

Robby

Yep

Still Whitaker BTW

You got anything I can say that’ll freak Samira out in the chat?

Abbot

You’re a menace kid 😏

————

Group chat: The Pittlings

08:26

Dennis the menace

You are in no position to judge me Samira

Not with what you and your man get up to

Samira

How the hell do you know about that???

Dennis the menace

Abbot and I exchange bondage tips

Samira

BRB

Not even funny, I was about to kill him

Dennis the menace

Actually pretty funny

Abbot just seems like that type of guy

Believe me when you're into guys there’s a lot you can tell about them sexually

Samira

Oh really?

Santos (I don’t need a nickname)

I don’t know if I like where this is going

Javadi (bitches I'm legal now)

Me neither but still

Mel

I am rather curious

————

Private message: Robby & Abbot

08:30

Abbot

You better not be feeding this kid info

Robby

Hand to God he’s just that good

————

Group chat: The Pittlings

08:31

Dennis the menace

Abbot, a classic alpha in the bedroom. Dominant but not a dom

He likes to take charge but he’s also very focused on you as his partner and your pleasure, meaning he spends a lot of time way downstairs for your pleasure and for his own satisfaction

He’s also very hesitant about suggesting new kinks but whenever you suggest one he will research it thoroughly before agreeing

Also he’s packing

And I’m not talking about a gun

————

Private message: Robby & Abbot

08:34

Abbot

Fucking hell

————

Group chat: The Pittlings

08:34

Samira

Fucking hell

That is scary

Dennis the menace

We gays have a way with these things

Santos (I don’t need a nickname)

Ok that is freaky if true and I’m never gonna be able to look Abbot in the eye again

But can we just take a moment to applaud Huckleberry on having two feet out of the closet?

Javadi (Bitches I’m legal now)

Praise the gods

Mel

Very proud of you Dennis

Dennis the menace

Yeah yeah I moved past all of that catholic guilt and repression

Or had it fucked out of me, who knows?

Santos (I don’t need a nickname)

Pervert

Dennis the menace

Mom, is that you?

 ————

Group chat: Day shift 26/07

12:17

Robby

Really not how I wanted to be spending my Sunday but apparently there’s been some stuff going on in my absence that needs to be addressed.

I just got a nice long call from Gloria telling me how we’ve received complaints about some of the things discussed by staff in the emergency department.

So please, refrain from talking about bondage, mystery sugar daddies, and having someone go down on you until your knees are shaking.

Javadi

😳

Whitaker

Not me

McKay

Damn sounds like I missed one hell of a shift

Donnie

That’s not the half of it

Mateo

Is Patrica micced?

McKay

Who is Patricia?

Donnie

The dummy

PITTricia

Not my idea

Robby

The dummy does not have a microphone

And one more thing

While I do appreciate that the storage closets are an excellent place to hide if you need to take a moment, let’s try to make sure that we only have one person to a closet at a time

Hopefully I don’t need to say more than that

Princess

Oooh he knows

————

Group chat: The Pittlings

12:40

Santos (I don’t need a nickname)

Robby is giving Bailey vibes rn

Dennis the menace

Bailey?

Santos (I don’t need a nickname)

From Greys

Her speech when she’s pregnant

I’m just imagining him in a wheelchair pointing at everyone

"I am Doctor Robinavitch, I see everything, I know everything, and I will return."

Samira

If I wasn’t mortified I would be laughing now because I see it even if I do hate that show

Javadi (Bitches I’m legal now)

Yeah they set unrealistic expectations for the hotness of surgeons

And a whole bunch of other medical stuff

Dennis the menace

I’m assuming the cupboard comment was about Mel and Langdon right?

Samira

Oh you know it

Santos (I don’t need a nickname)

Out of all of us, I was not expecting for Mel to be the one caught getting freaky at work

Javadi (Bitches I’m legal now)

Yeah I would have said Samira

Samira

Uhh Santos and Garcia are right there

Dennis the menace

Yeah but they wouldn’t get caught

You're about three seconds away from motor-boating your man whenever you see him

Not judging you for that, they are some nice Abbotits

Santos (I don’t need a nickname)

Eww

————

Private message: Robby & Abbot

12:56

Abbot

Your boy wants to motor-boat me

Robby

I mean can you blame him?

Speaking strictly as a friend and not a bisexual, Jesus Christ you have one hell of a rack on you

Seriously she showed you that?

Abbot

??

Robby

Driving back from the cabin so voice to text, Dennis is here

Hi doctor Abbot, apologies for the comment

Abbot

No problem kid, its rather flattering

Robby

Any time sir you don’t have to call him sir I was being respectful you were just talking about him having a rack like a kardashian I did not say that you said that I just said that he had a very nice chest

Abbot

Ok, I’ll leave you two to your drive back

Have fun

 ————

Group chat: The Pittlings- Huckleberry

14:00

Samira

EMERGENCY

Santos

Is it though?

Samira

They’re fucking

Javadi

Who?

Samira

Robby and Whitaker

We are idiots

Like actual idiots

Santos

No way

I’d know

Samira

Would you though?

Mel

How do you know this?

Samira

I may have taken a peek at my boyfriend’s phone and seen a message from Robby

Santos

Did that message say he was screwing an intern?

Samira

It was about his chest

More specifically, his rack

Who just talked about his chest?

Javadi

Ohhhhh

Coincidence?

Mel

I mean they were both off for the weekend

Santos

We’re fucking idiots

Chapter Text

Group chat: The bet 27/07

07:58

Santos

New evidence has come to light so I propose a change to the bet

Langdon

New evidence?

Mohan

They doing it

Princess

Say what?

Langdon

Oh no way

McKay

How do you know this?

Jesse

Damn

Kim

Kinda jealous

Santos

So a change of the bet, no longer when they admit they want it

When they admit it

Jesse

So basically the same thing

Santos

Pretty much

Any objections?

Vote is carried

May the odds be ever in your favour

Group chat: Day shift 01/08

21:56

Santos

I would like to take credit for my idea to go out

Look at him go

1 video attached

Donnie

Whoa Whitaker

Princess

Damn that boy can ride

Well aware of how dirty that sounds

McKay

Where did you find a bar with a bull?

Santos

Took a lot of work

But look at him go

Jesse

That is a sight

Donnie

Someone tell night shift to get ready for a broken arm

Whitaker

Oh please, farm boy remember?

That’s not even the most aggressive thing I’ve ridden this week

Donnie

Oh we know

Jesse

Yeah we’ve seen your back

Whitaker

Exactly

Robby

This is a work chat remember?

 ————

Private Message: Robby & Dennis

22:05

Robby

Should I be worried about you on that bull?

Dennis

Oh please

I’m a natural at this

Oh god

Robby

What?

Dennis

Victoria wants a go

Robby

Oh good lord

Dennis

Mel and Langdon are trying to talk her out of it but alcohol

Gotta go

Love you

————

Private message: Robby & Abbot

23:40

Robby

Help

Abbot

If this is another boyfriend injury

Robby

Worse

1 image attached

Abbot

You worried Langdon fell off the wagon?

Robby

What? No

Javadi’s the drunk one

The last message

Abbot

Ohhh

This the first time?

Robby

Yep

Advice

Abbot

Say it back?

Or wait until he’s hungover and talk about it?

Do you?

Robby

Do I?

Abbot

Love him

Robby

You need to ask me that?

Of course I do

Abbot

Ok, my mistake

Are you in love with him?

Bro?

 ————

Group chat: Day shift 02/08

06:40

Whitaker

That bull blew my back out

Santos

That’s what she said

Langdon

Damn it that’s what I was about to say

But I shouldn’t make back jokes

Robby

Children

Santos

Yes father?

————

Private Message: Robby & Dennis

06:53

Dennis

So close to calling you daddy in the work chat

Robby

I’m glad you didn’t

The bet

Dennis

Oh yeah?

The bet

Robby

It also wouldn’t have been the best way to announce that we’re together

Dennis

Like they’d believe it

We both just had a weekend off, and we both talked about going upstate

Nothing

We could keep this up forever

Robby

Lets not though

It would be nice not to sneak around all the time

Dennis

And some of the time?

Robby

Well thanks to Mel and Langdon I have some ideas about you and a supply closet

Dennis

I’d say tell me more but I’d rather you show me

————

Group chat: The bet 03/08

07:04

Santos

It is Monday morning and that means that it is a new week with no proof of dirty gay stuff

That means that Mateo is out. @Mel it’s your turn.

May the odds be ever in your favour.

Langdon

You got this babe

Mateo

Damn it

Oh well

Kim

LOSER

Also you don’t have this Mel, you’re going down

Said with love

Santos

@Jesse come get your hag

Kim

Rude but true

Jesse

My phone vibrated off of the cabinet, waking both me and the very nice man in my bed

And all this is just to say that Mateo lost the bet we all knew he’d lose?

Also Mel you’re also losing

Kim

This the guy from downstairs?

Jesse

Coffee place

Nose ring

Princess

What happened to downstairs guy?

Jesse

Nothing

He was busy

Donnie

With his wife

Jesse

Ex wife and kids

Donnie

I was joking but damn

Langdon

Do you have a chat I’m not in for Jesse’s sex life?

 ————

Groups chat: Nurses unite

08:26

Princess

So coffee place guy? This the one who gives extra sprinkles?

Jesse

Yep

Donnie

Wait hospital coffee place?

Damn dude good work, he hot

Kim

Something to share with the group Donnie?

Donnie

Hey I can be very secure in my sexuality and still say that the guy has a great ass

Princess

He does

Jesse

Not what I was focused on

————

Group chat: Gossip queens

08:29

Princess

@Santos

What did you say Whitaker has?

Bum eyes?

Santos

Bottom eyes?

Princess

YES

————

Groups chat: Nurses unite

08:30

Princess

Jesse gonna be looking at coffee guy today with bottom eyes

Donnie

Oh damm

Kim

Shots fired

Jesse

I do not have bottom eyes

Whitaker has bottom eyes

Kim

Can confirm

Gave them all through our date

Perlah

Tell me why my six year old just asked me what bottom eyes are?

Donnie

😂😂😂😂

Kim

😂😂

Jesse

Princess?

Princess

Jesse got some last night, and you have your phone and tablet linked

That second one is on you

————

Private message: Mel & Langdon

12:06

Mel

So my sister just asked me what we’re betting on

Langdon

Oh

Did you tell her?

Mel

Kind of

Langdon

Just realising I need to make sure I don’t let the kids have my phone

Last thing I need is them mentioning gambling to Abby

Mel

Is gambling worse than a girlfriend on things for your children to tell your ex wife about?

Langdon

Yes

Besides she left me

I’m good to date

Mel

Good

Because I like dating you

Langdon

I like dating you too

So forgive me for saying you aren’t winning this bet

Mel

Why not?

Langdon

Notice how with the exception of Mateo, most people who’ve known Robby for years chose either later in the year or holidays?

Robby would take a while to come clean about anything

Mel

Yeah but Whitaker could crack

Langdon

If he was with anyone else

Not with Robby

He’s got the kid trained

Which is why I have a plan for Halloween

Mel

Explain

 ————

Private message: Robby & Dana

17:02

Dana

Who the hell is Patricia and why the hell were you humping her?

Robby

I’m sorry what?

Dana

Donnie just told me you were humping Patricia in the break room

Robby

Ohhhhh

The dummy

Dana

Oh so she’s a dummy now?

Wait

The dummy?

The fuck is he calling her Patricia for?

————

Groups chat: Nurses unite

17:10

Dana

Who gave the dummy a name?

Donnie

Princess

Princess

Perlah

Donnie

They needed a third P for the gossip witches

She hears everything

Princess

Oh like we need help

Perlah

We know all

Jesse

You know if the X-ray tech is single?

Princess

We know most

Dana

Peoples lives in your hands

————

Private message: Robby & Dana

17:15

Dana

Needing a smoke

Robby

We will try to hold the fort

Dana

Your boy beat me out here

Robby

My boy?

Dana

Whitaker

Don’t act like you don’t want some of that

Robby

Not you too

Dana

?

Robby

Jack said the same

Dana

I think Katy called it major yearner vibes

Robby

Really?

Quoting your daughter?

Dana

She ain't wrong

Robby

Not even going there

Dana

If you say so

 ————

Private conversation: Frank & Abby

17:52

Abby

Don’t freak out

Frank

Just the thing to say to a guy with children

Abby

Bringing Tanner in

Frank

WHAT?

WHAT HAPPENED

ABBY

Abby

Breathe

He fell and landed on his arm when he was playing soccer

He can move it but it hurts a lot, and it bruised really quick

Frank

Could be a fracture or a break

Abby

I was married to a doctor for almost five years Frank

I know

Hence the visit

I know you’re probably slammed but can you get us in there?

Frank

Perks of being family

 ————

Private conversation: Langdon & Robby

17:56

Langdon

Where are you?

Abby’s coming in with Tanner

Might have broke his arm

Who’s free

Robby

Mel and Whitaker

Langdon

Not Mel

Robby

Then Whitaker

Langdon

The intern?

What about Mohan

Robby

I can’t have both of my senior residents out on one patient

Whitaker is good

Langdon

I know you have a boner for the guy but this is my son Robby

Sorry

That was mean to both of you

Robby

It’s your kid, I can move past it

I’ll tell him to expect you to be in doctor mode as well as parent mode

 ————

Group chat: Nurses unite

18:09

Kim

Did I just see Langdon’s ex?

Donnie

Yeah

Kid might have broken his arm

I’m in with Whitaker now

Langdon is freaked

Kim

Feeling sorry for Whitaker

 ————

Private message: Whitaker &💩

21:47

💩

Hey

Sorry about being a dick earlier

Whitaker

You weren’t that bad

💩

 …

Whitaker

Ok you were an asshole but you were worried about your kid so nothing to apologise for

Congratulations by the way, he seems like a great kid

💩

Yeah he is

That might be parental bias talking

Whitaker

Nah you got a good one

Reminds me of my nephew a bit

💩

I’m sure Abby would laugh at the idea of Tanner being a farm kid

Whitaker

Not in that way

Just full of energy

I don’t see them much so it was nice

Glad it was only a fracture

💩

Me too

And again, thanks.

Whitaker

No problem

Whitaker changed Frank Langdon’s name to Langdon

Whitaker

You earned that

Langdon

What was I before?

Whitaker

💩

Langdon

I deserved that

Whitaker

😂

You really did

————

Private message: Mel & Langdon

22:04

Langdon

How bad do you want to win the bet?

Mel

I won’t resort to violence

Langdon

How about emotional manipulation?

Mel

Go on

Chapter Text

Private message: Langdon & Mel 04/08

19:04

Mel

Are you sure this is ok?

It feels like cheating

Langdon

The rules were no locking them in places or threatening them

Nothing mentioned about emotional manipulation

Mel

That’s true, but your child?

Langdon

It’s not like he’s being sacrificed

 ————

Group chat: The Pittlings

19:32

Dennis the menace

@Mel why is your boyfriend messaging me?

Mel

Unknown

What did he say?

Dennis the menace

Asked if I wanted some old textbooks

Mel

Then I imagine that he wants to give you textbooks

You did just fix his kid’s broken arm

Dennis the menace

Hmmmmmm

 ————

Private message: Langdon & Whitaker

19:37

Whitaker

That would be great cheers

I can come and get them now?

Langdon

Yeah that’s great

Fair warning I have the kids over so you might have a child end up wrapped around your leg

Whitaker

Oh I remember what that’s like, I’ll be there in about 15

Langdon

Sounds good

————

Private message: Garcia & Santos

20:19

Garcia

So I heard that there was an interesting case downstairs today

Santos

Oh you mean the guy that came in with the rolling pin?

Garcia

I was talking about the guy that shot two of his fingers off

But do go on

Santos

He said he was experimenting with his wife and it got stuck

Of all things to experiment with

Garcia

Jesus

I assume that it was removed

Santos

Oh yeah

Lot of abdominal pressure and a firm grip by McKay and it came right out

I say right out, I mean right out

That was definitely not his first time with something up there

He was a size queen

Garcia

Oh one of those guys

Santos

Yep, one of those

Strange people

Garcia

Men or straight people?

Santos

Both?

Men in general are weird, but you know that already

Garcia

True, but white chocolate is adorably weird

Never tell him I called him adorable in any way

Santos

I swear to any god that will have me

Garcia

Good luck with that

What’s your schedule like next week?

Santos

I’ve got a few day shifts but I’m pulling back on doubles, why?

Garcia

Well, I was gonna suggest a night at mine

Preluded by dinner

Santos

Yeah, yeah I’d love that

Like a date

Garcia

Or actually a date

Santos

Oh yeah, because that’s what it is now

Still getting used to the whole official thing

 ————

Private message: Robby & Dennis

21:58

Dennis

Can you put a baby in me?

Robby

Excuse me?

Dennis

I was just at Langdon’s and now I have baby fever

Robby

Because that makes more sense

Dennis

They’re so adorable

How could such good things come out of someone so annoying?

I know that was mean and not really true

He’s not too bad

But now I’m kinda missing home

Not the place, just some of the people

Robby

It’s been a month baby, I think it might be a little earlier for the kids talk

Dennis

You’re no fun

And I know

But it might be a talk to have at some point

22:30

Robby?

23:10

Michael?

 ————

Group chat: The Pittlings- Huckleberry 05/08

06:54

Javadi

Why does he look like a puppy someone kicked?

Samira

Well Robby looks guilty

And there’s been a lack of dark humour

Santos

Hmm

They better not break up before I get my money

 ————

Private message: Trin Trin & Huckster

07:35

Trin Trin

What’s got your panties in a twist?

Huckster

You know I wear boxers

Trin Trin

Who knows what you get up to with your boyfriend though?

Huckster

Not panties

Although he did suggest a sexy nurse so I might need to borrow a pair of grey scrubs at some point

Trin Trin

I’m sure Emma’s will fit you

Huckster

🖕🏻

Trin Trin

But seriously, you good?

Huckster

You ever say something to Garcia that she should respond to instantly but then she doesn’t so you kinda freak out if you’ve done something wrong?

Trin Trin

No because I’m not a puppy

But I understand the idea

What did you say?

Huckster

I may have joked about him putting a baby in me

Trin Trin

Ew

Huckster

IT WAS A JOKE

Trin Trin

Still

Hit him up with a selfie, show off those bottom eyes

Huckster

Really?

Back to the bottom eyes?

Trin Trin

You were just talking about having him put a baby in you

Huckster

Ok fair

Trin Trin

Or you could do something to get his attention

Huckster

I hesitate to ask

Like what?

Trin Trin

Flirt with someone in front of him

Send him a dirty pic

Blank him

Call him and tell him that if he doesn’t come over to beg for you then it’s over

Huckster

Ok

1-That would require him to be here

Which he isn’t

2-I might do that

3-You don’t know how emotionally distant he can get, it could go on for years

4-I am not having him come over so you can interrogate him

Trin Trin

DAMN IT

————

Group chat: The Pittlings- Huckleberry

08:44

Santos

Robby trouble

But not major

May need an intervention though

Samira

Like a ‘we know’ intervention?

Or a subtle one?

Santos

Subtle

Mel

I can’t help with that

Javadi

Me neither

Santos

Great

I’m on it

Samira

Whoa that was a sigh

Javadi

Did you really just play the "ask me what’s wrong" card with Robby?

Samira

Oh she did

Javadi

Permission to change Whitaker’s nickname to vexing homosexual?

 ————

Private message: Robby & Dennis

09:02

Robby

So apparently you’re freaking out because your boyfriend didn’t respond to your message?

Any reason Santos told me that?

Dennis

Maybe she thinks you manhandling me like you do will cheer me up

Robby

Would it?

Dennis

Depends on if we have that conversation?

Robby

You want to have that talk now?

Dennis

I’d like to know exactly how far this could go

Or if we want completely different things

Robby

And if we do want different things?

Dennis

Then I guess it’s a good thing we talked about it so soon

No need to worry about wasting time

Robby

You see this as wasting time?

Dennis

No

Not what I said

At all

Robby

Its what you meant though

And I get it

I’m twice your age, it’s not like we’d be together forever

Dennis

Damn I know you said you had commitment issues but Jesus

You’re already thinking about dying to get out of this relationship

Robby

That’s no what I’m doing

I’m pointing out the obvious issues

Say we did have kids

I’d be in my 70s when that kid is in college

I could be dead before that kid graduated

Did you just walk out?

Dennis

Yeah because I need a smoke and to react without everyone seeing me

Because you basically just threw away the idea of twenty years with me

And for what?

Because you might need a cane to see our kid walk across the stage to get their diploma?

Real fucking classy Michael

Robby

That’s not what I meant

Dennis

Yes or no

Do you want kids?

Robby

Honestly?

I don’t know

Dennis

Well I do

But I’d give them up to have you

Robby

But I’d never want you to do that

Dennis

So where does that leave us?

Robby

The same place we’ve always been I guess

We’ve just been too close to realise it

We’re at different places

Dennis

You aren’t ending this over a text are you?

Robby

I think it’s for the best

Dennis

Fuck you Michael

Fuck you

 ————

Group chat: The Pittlings

09:46

Dennis the menace

We’re going out tonight

Santos (I don’t need a nickname)

Ok sure

You good?

Dennis the menace

I’m great 🙃

Chapter Text

Group chat: The Pittlings- Huckleberry

20:04

Santos

We may have a problem

Samira

Already?

Mel

Please don’t say we’re cancelling

1 image attached

Frank got a nice shirt

Samira

Ok he looks so proud that’s adorable

Javadi

What’s happening?

Santos

Huckleberry is going slutty

Like slutty

Samira

Slutty? We talking a few buttons undone or a mini skirt without panties?

Santos

A vest

And he raided my wardrobe

Javadi

Oh god, what did he take?

Not that pink shirt?

Santos

Worse

The black lace shirt

Samira

He did look pissed when he came in from the ambulance bay, sounds like boyfriend trouble

Santos

Well this is gonna be a fun night

 ————

Group chat: The Pittlings

21:47

Dennis the menace

Sent 12 photos

Javadi (Bitches I’m legal now)

Living up to his nickname right now

Dennis the menace

I am not a menace

I am a blessing

Langdon is the menace

The interloper

But he is buying me drinks so I love him

Sorry Mel

Mel

I forgive you

 ————

Private message: Santos & Garcia

22:48

Santos

1 image attached

When your resident homosexual suggests shots

Garcia

That is why I don’t go out with my residents, homo or heterosexual

Santos

A good idea to have

But this is also fun, even with Langdon acting like a dad rn

Garcia

What’s he doing?

Santos

He’s watching our drinks

And making sure we’re hydrated

Garcia

That sounds responsible

Santos

I know

Such a buzzkill

Garcia

How much have you had to drink?

Santos

Enough that I would not feel ashamed to talk about our sex life in front of everybody

But not enough that I couldn’t rock your world after this

Garcia

That is a very good measure

Have fun

 ————

Private message: Garcia & Langdon

23:02

Garcia

I expect you to take care of my girlfriend tonight

Langdon

Will do yo-yo

I know you’d make it look like an accident

Garcia

Bitch I’d make you an example

 ————

Private message: Langdon & Whitaker

23:39

Langdon

You want another drink?

Like an actual drink and not alcohol?

You’ve been dancing all night

Where’d you go?

Oh, I see you

You’re occupied

Respond when you get the chance

 ————

Group chat: The Pittlings- Huckleberry

23:46

Mellisa King added Frank Langdon

Langdon

I hate to say this on Mel’s week but I think we all just lost

1 image attached

Santos

FUCK

Javadi

Oh that’s the wrong old white guy

Samira

As a fan of old white guys he could do worse

So him and robby are done then?

Javadi

Unless the old man just can’t get it up

Langdon

We’ve all seen how the little one comes into work

The old man can get it up

Besides

Look at him slutting it up

That’s a rebound

Santos

Call him a slut again and I will break your face

Langdon

No, not calling him a slut

To be clear, just that he’s getting a bit too into it for a public place, kinda screams rebound

Santos

I’m coming over there

Langdon

To break my face?

Mel

Please don’t break his face

I like it

Santos

To see

Oh yeah, he slutting it up

@samira

Get your boyfriend to find out what’s up

Samira

You know this is us admitting we know right?

Santos

I don’t care at this point

Besides

The bet isn’t valid if we find out they were together but over

Mel

I don’t remember that in the rules

Samira

Fine

————

Private message: Samira & Jack

23:55

Samira

What do you know?

Jack

About?

Samira

Whitaker and Robby

Jack

Nothing

Samira

I read your messages after their weekend away

Nice rack BTW

Jack

I was going to tell you

But the bet

Samira

I don’t care about the bet

Dennis is currently on second base with a guy older than Robby and they were both pissed for half the shift today, so something happened

What do you know?

Jack

About that? Nothing

So is Whitaker cheating?

Samira

He’s the one that suggested going out and he went slutty

So maybe your boy did something

Jack

You know I’m working right?

Fine I’ll try and find out what I can

Samira

Good boy

Let me know how the shift goes and I may swing by when we’re done

Jack

You think you’ll be out until six?

Samira

If you’re lucky

————

Private message: Robby & Abbot 06/08

00:14

Abbot

What did you do?

Robby

You know what time it is?

I should be asleep

Abbot

We both know you’re not gonna sleep

Now talk

Robby

About?

Abbot

Whitaker

Robby

What about him?

Abbot

That seven week itch kick in?

Robby

Not exactly

Abbot

But something happened?

Robby

Do you have a sixth sense for my love life?

Abbot

Samira is out with him now

Apparently daddy issues work great for finding a guy

Robby

Don’t say shit like that

Yeah I ended it

Abbot

Idiot

Why?

Robby

3 images attached

We want different things

Abbot

Let me correct my previous statement

You absolute fucking idiot

Robby

What was I supposed to do?

Abbot

You were supposed to get that boy pregnant

🫃

Now some other old man is gonna do it

Robby

Fine

————

Private message: Robby & Dennis

00:27

Robby

Look I’m sorry about yesterday

I shouldn’t have said half of the stuff I said

The truth is that I’m terrified to love you because I’m scared of leaving you alone

So I thought that if I hurt you now it would hurt less later

Pathetic I know

Dennis?

 ————

Group chat: Nurse bois

01:16

Jesse

Well shit

Donnie

He didn’t leave his wife?

Jesse

She caught us in bed together

They’re done

But I’m not really feeling that one, coffee guy is the way to go

But I’m talking about the bet

Why are you up so late?

Donnie

Baby

You?

Jesse

Club

Donnie

Seriously?

Jesse

I got dragged along by coffee guy

But I just saw Whitaker

With a guy

Donnie

No no no

Not any of our weeks

Jesse

Hence "oh shit"

Hmmm

Langdon is here and he’s not trying to get pictures

I can’t believe he wouldn’t want his girlfriend to win

He’s now dragging Whitaker away

And Whitaker is throwing up

On Langdon

Donnie