Archive of Our Own

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“No, I didn’t answer your boring text, Hollander.”

Shane rolled his eyes to himself. Whatever. He’d been trying to show concern for someone who existed in a country that wasn’t exactly friendly toward people like him. It wasn’t as if he’d been needy about it. Still, the silence stung. He shoved the thought away and decided he’d make the most of the rest of the trip. Who knew if he’d ever be in Russia again. Maybe Scott Hunter and Carter Vaughn would want to do some sightseeing with him.

He headed back to his seat and leaned toward them.  He asked casually, did they want to see a bit of Russia while they were here. Scott looked up. He said he wasn’t sure how welcoming the place was for Americans right now and figured he’d stay put. Carter, on the other hand, turned fully toward Shane, already interested, and asked where he’d been thinking of going.

The two of them pulled out their phones and started tossing around ideas they’d found on Google. Carter reached over and tapped Scott’s knee, telling him to not be such a pussy.  Preaching that they were Americans babbbbbyyy while concluding with an obscenely loud bald eagle screech noise. Shane pulls away from Carter swatting at him “Jesus that was my ear." Freaking Americans.

That was when the feeling hit him. The unmistakable sense of being watched. Shane feels like someone is staring into his soul. He first looks up to where he was talking to Ilya, but there’s just an empty seat moving back as if someone just left. He sighed while then turning his attention to his left. Okay someone is definitely watching, someone very hot. all, maybe as tall as him, with dark brown hair, light eyes, and neatly trimmed facial hair. He was wearing an Olympic jacket, A Great Britain flag was stitched on the coat, and underneath his unzipped jacket, a polo with the Scottish flag. The green fabric made his dark hair stand out even more.

Shane was still checking him out when he looked back up at his face and realized not only was the man still staring, but he was now smirking at him. Shane quickly looked away and to refocus on Carter and Scott. He tried to sheepishly look back over but when he risked another glance, the man was no longer just smirking. He was walking toward them.

The man stopped in front of them, his eyes still locked on Shane. Scott noticed first and looked up, realizing the man was now standing right there. Carter and Shane followed his gaze. Shane’s eyes went wide.The man extended his hand toward the group, though he never once stopped looking at Shane. He greeted them easily, saying he was pretty sure they were Shane Hollander and Scott Hunter, then apologized as his eyes flicked briefly to Carter, admitting he wasn’t sure of his name.

Shane barely processed the words because he was immediately floored at his Scottish accent, warm and smooth.  He brain short-circuited, apparently he has a thing for accents.

Noted.

Carter supplied his name, Carter Vaughn, and the man nodded, recognizing it instantly. He said yes, that was right, Carter played for New York.Shane made a conscious effort to listen while also making sure he wasn’t staring or blushing. Carter, oblivious as ever, asked who the man was. He introduced himself as Jaime. Jaime McKenzie.

Scott frowned slightly, saying he didn’t recognize the name and asking if he was a skater, gesturing toward the figure skating rink. Jaime laughed and followed Scott’s gesture with his eyes before quickly dismissing the idea, saying no, god no, and admitting he’d be absolutely terrible at that. Scott tried again, asking if he was on Great Britain’s hockey team. Jaime explained that he wasn’t an athlete at all. Before Shane could stop himself, the words slipped out. "Well you look it."

Jaime raised an eyebrow, clearly amused, “ Do I?”

Shane coughs “ I just meant….” Thankfully Jaime starts speaking because Shane had no idea how he was going to end that sentence. Jaime explained that he was the Director of Performance Science for Great Britain’s hockey team. Carter reacted immediately, repeating the word director and commenting that Jaime looked really young for that role. Jaime shrugged it off, saying he was twenty-six, so yeah, he guessed that made sense. Then he admitted the real reason he’d come over. He said he just wanted to introduce himself because he was such a big fan of Hollander. Shane’s eyes darted up and smiled, genuinely this time, thanking him.

Carter’s phone buzzed, and he announced that their car would be there in fifteen minutes to take them to Arboretum Park. He asked Scott one more time if he wanted to come. Scott declined, saying he’d meet them later for drinks at the hotel and told them to text him when they were back. He added that he was going to call his friend anyway.

They all stood, shaking hands with Jaime. Shane was the last to leave and  standing there with Jaime when he concluded with “it was very nice to meet you, Shane. Maybe we will be seeing each other some more this week.” Shane scrunched his eyebrows slightly, replying with a noncommittal yeah, maybe, before heading up the stairs. As he reached the exit and glanced back, he saw Jaime still following him out.

Later that night, Carter declared that Russia had some seriously good ice cream. Scott immediately called him out for eating ice cream again. Shane chimed in, calling ice cream and vodka a disgusting combination.

The three of them sat at a table in the hotel lobby, not quite at the bar but close enough. Olympians and staff crowded the area. Shane felt a tap on his shoulder and immediately dismissed the thought. It couldn’t be him. Ilya wouldn’t approach him like that. When he turned his head, he was met with the same smirk from earlier and hazel eyes glinting under the lights. Jaime. Shane mentally sighed. Apparently, hazel eyes were now officially a thing for him.

Noted..

Jaime greeted them like no time had passed and asked what they were drinking, offering to buy a round. As he shrugged off his jacket, Shane noticed the full sleeve of tattoos underneath. He didn't really care about tattoos.. but on Jaime.. it was hot. Carter told him he was drinking some really good Russian vodka, though he admitted he couldn’t pronounce the name. Scott said he was having a Jack and Coke.

Jaime turned to Shane and asked what he was drinking "What is that? beer?”  Shane admitted, a little embarrassed, that it was just ginger ale. He explained that he didn’t drink during the season. Jaime said he respected that and ordered their drinks, including two ginger ales. Shane scrunches his eyebrows until Jaime stepped in a bit closer to Shane  and explained the second one was for him. He winked and walked toward the bar. Shane smiled wider than he probably should have and nodded his head while his cheeks turned ever so slightly pink. Jaime returned with the drinks, and the four of them talked for hours.

A few days later at the final game, Canada has just won the gold medal. Shane called out, “Good game, Hunter. Maybe next year you guys can bring home the gold.”

After finishing his usual chirping at his American friends—who had just taken silver while Canada snagged the gold—he noticed Jaime talking to Montreal’s coach, one of the coaches for Canada in the Olympics.

The coach waved him over. “Shane, come over here. Good game! Let me introduce you to Jaime Mc—”

“Oh, Shane and I have met,” Jaime cut in with a smile, giving Shane a look that was almost too adoring. “I’m a big fan. You did great today. Congrats!”

Later that night, Shane was trying to convince himself that he would not text him again. He clearly wanted to be left alone. He just hoped he was okay and safe.  It had been a bad idea to text him first anyways, Shane never did that, his first time was a colossal failure. He just wanted to get to sleep but his mind was racing. 

Even though our flight isn’t too early tomorrow we have to have this stupid press thing. I wish they would give me the questions beforehand. I don’t want to say anything that will disappoint my country.

Shane  tossed and turned until he finally gave into being awake. He took out his phone and opened instagram.

Rozanov81:at least I’m not boring

📸 a clean, high-end shot. him in a sharp suit, dark hair perfectly styled. a dark-haired model pressed into his side, three freckles under her right eye, lips brushing his cheek while her hand rests against his face. effortless. sexy. very intentional.

❤️ 118,492 likes

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velvetedges:ok but she is STUNNING

CliffRaider007: Wish I was there with you man!

ilyascaslut81:is he kissing her FRECKLES? 😩

iceburn:ilya never misses😏

goldcoastgirl:ilya rozanov the menace you are 😈

Jessicaunderwearmodel:who is SHE though because wow

rinksidegossip:he knows bad in every language

Rozzygroupie:they’re both offensively hot🥵

MrsRozanov81: She needs to take her hands off my man

Shane sighed and took his head in his hand. Okay then I guess he’s sick of me and my boringness. He wonders if he will ever hear from him again. Switching to the team calendar on his phone he checks when they’re playing Boston next. Thankfully, it’s not for a while.

Scrolling through Instagram, Shane likes a pic of Carter’s ice cream, then pauses. He then has a thought….And types  Jaime McKenzie in the search bar. He finds his profile and scrolls. He notices it says “ follow back.” He never pays attention to his following him on insta except he is acutely aware that he doesn’t follow Shane.

Shaking off the thought, Shane forces his focus back to Jaime.

Things Shane learns from a little sleuthing:

• He likes ginger ale.

• He isn’t pictured with any models or women—just his mother and sister.

• He grew up in Glasgow.

• He keeps a very clean home.

• He runs a soccer camp.

• He does marathons.

• He is very hot.

• He is very hot.

• He is very hot.

• Fuck.

Shane stops scrolling when he comes across a post from over a year ago, back at the Montreal game.

JMcKenzzzzz24:finally getting to see THE SHANE HOLLANDER dominate the ice

📸 an action shot. Shane and Ilya  facing off at center ice, they look like tense rivals. At least to the public, to Shane he remembers this night and how Ilya and him were playing a game of cat and mouse. Ilya had been desperately trying to get Shane in bed.

❤️ 6,781 likes

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Hockeyfanatic66:obsessed:this photo is insane

rinksideview:the stare down???

Montrealking:history in one frame

IvanBritIce99: What are you doing over there?

liked by shanehollander and others

Shane accidentally likes the pic when he almost drops the phone in shock. Shit shit shit. Should I unlike it? I wonder if he saw I liked it and now thinks I’m a creep it would be rude to unlike it. I AM tagged in it anyways. Fuck it. He follows Jaime back on insta. It’s just then when a new post appears from Jaime. Shane blushes and puts his phone down and goes to sleep.

JMcKenzzzzz24:when you have something in common with an icon😎

📸 a shot from the other night. two glasses of ginger ale side by side.

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GlasgowGoalie07: Where did you go? You didn't invite me man.

BlackBlade91: omg the lighting makes it look like a commercial lol

IceQueen22: Jaime. gotta step up your beverage game 🍹

A few months after the Olympics after Montreal had lost in the playoffs because of all their damn injuries. Coach called a meeting. It was definitely unusual as they should be left to lick their wounds at this point and not get pulled in for a meeting to go over just how much they failed. Shane had already been watching the tapes from the game so he could see what he messed up. He is not looking forward to this meeting.

Coach cleared his throat. “Hey everyone, I know you’re all wondering why I asked you here since we are now out of the playoffs. I want to introduce you to our new team trainer, Jaime McKenzie. He will be meeting with the starting line individually to assess your strengths and work on a plan for guys to work on this summer so we can get that cup next year. He moved here all the way from the UK and helped at the Olympics. Everyone give him a warm welcome.”

“Hi guys,” Jaime said, smiling. “I’m excited to be here. I’ve been a big fan of Montreal for a few years now. I met some of you at the Olympics but am so happy to be here to get to know all of you even better.”

Shane nervously darted his eyes away when theirs met. As the team crowded around Jaime to introduce themselves, Coach stopped Shane.

“Shane, you are first up with Jaime. Spend the week with him and make a good example for the team. I know you will.”

“Absolutely,” Shane said. “I won’t disappoint.”

Later, Shane was walking out to his jeep when Jaime smiled spotting him.  Shane stopped  and Jaime jogged over to him. Shane extended his hand to shake it, but Jaime pulled him in for a hug instead. He said it was good to see him and asked where Shane was running off to, adding that he’d been hoping Shane might show him a good place to eat. He admitted he was starving.

Shane nodded, already reaching for his keys. "Sure— aaa why are you in the mood for?"

"Pasta" Jaime exclaimed rubbing his stomach which slightly lifted his shirt, Shane noticed.

Shane and Jaime pull up to the Old Spaghetti Factory, one of Shane’s favorite cheat day places.

He hadn’t been here since the day after he’d first had sex with Ilya. The memory hit him immediately, vivid and uninvited. Ilya had been so tender with him. Shane smiled to himself, remembering how Ilya had kept checking in, quietly asking if he was okay. He lifted his hand to his mouth as another image surfaced, heat rushing through him at the thought of being folded up like a pretzel and just how hot that had been.

“Shane?”

Jaime’s voice snapped him back to reality. Shane blinked, realizing he was still sitting there with his hand on the ignition, keys not even pulled out. “I’m sorry,” he said quickly, shaking his head. He asked what Jaime had just said, admitting he’d been thinking about something else. Jaime glanced over at him and said that whatever Shane had been thinking about, he’d looked happy. Shane smiles then immediately frowns when he thinks back to how Ilya doesn’t want him anymore. Because he was boring.

Jaime cleared his throat and shifted in his seat, asking if they could go inside. He added that he hadn’t been kidding about being starving.

Dinner was good. Really good. At one point Shane briefly considered asking their server about his skincare routine, because the man legitimately had no pores on his face. He decided against it, worried that might make him seem gay.

When they walked out afterward, Shane spotted the server outside near the back of the building, smoking with another man. The other guy looked stressed, saying something about how he was going to get fired. Then he leaned in and kissed the server right on the lips. The server noticed Shane looking and lifted a hand in a casual wave, thanking them for coming and telling them to have a great rest of the day. The other man echoed it with a quick thanks of his own.

As they walked past, Shane couldn’t help noticing how nice the guy’s ass was. It reminded him of him.  In fact now that he looked at him, he really did look like him. Blonde, curly hair. Hazel eyes. Almost the same build, the same ass. The only real difference was the way this man beamed at the server, smiling like genuine sunshine.

Later, Shane pulled into the arena parking lot and asked Jaime which car was his. Jaime pointed out a blue Jeep Cherokee Wow, Shane thought. Same as me. Just blue. Jaime caught the slight smile on Shane’s face and said that great minds thought alike and winks at him. Shane blushes for a millisecond before brushing it off, saying yeah, good choice, good for Canadian winters.

Jaime should have gotten out of the car by now but he is lingering. Shane scrunches his eyebrows a bit looking toward the door.

Jaime took a breath and told him to listen. He said he probably shouldn’t be this direct so soon, but he felt like he was about to burst if he didn’t say something. Shane looked at him in anticipation, worry crosses his face like he’s thinking about what he could have done wrong. Maybe he was staring too long. Maybe he noticed him checking out the Blonde's ass.

Jaime told him he thought Shane was hot. That he was a total babe. He admitted he’d been trying to work up the courage to say something ever since the Olympics. He said he might be totally out of line, but asked if he could take Shane out to dinner sometime. On a date.

Shane blinked "aaaa we just went to dinner."

Jaime rolled his eyes and shook his head, telling him that didn’t count. All they’d talked about was the team. When Jaime took him out on a date, Shane would know it.

Shane blushed. “Aa… well.”

Jaime grinned. “We can keep it a secret if you want.”

Shane hesitated for a moment, then nodded. “Well, okay.”

Jaime smiled at him. “Listen, I have a list somewhere the coach gave me of everyone’s numbers, but I’d rather if you personally gave me yours.”

They exchanged numbers, and Jaime got into his car. Shane watched him go, then slid into his own car, still completely in shock over what had just happened. By the time he reached his apartment, he shut off the engine and grabbed his phone. There was already a message from Jaime.

Trainer Jaime: thank you for taking me to your favorite cheat day spot. I had a great time with you.😊
Shane: I had a great time too. Love their pasta.🍝
Trainer Jaime: Any plans to watch the next Boston x San Francisco cup game?
Shane: a bunch of us are going to Hayden’s to watch.
Trainer Jaime: Hayden Pike right? That sounds like fun. I won’t intrude though. You guys have fun.

Shane and Jaime had been texting all week. Jaime was extremely sweet yet direct. He had made Shane blush so many times he lost count.

At the end of the week,Shane watches Ilya win the cup. He almost  cried. Out of happiness for him? Sadness that he doesn’t want him anymore? He couldn’t decide.

Trainer Jaime: Ugh I can’t believe Rozanov won a cup before you. You’re definitely the better player. I heard he such an asshole. I promise I will get our team in the best shape so we can win next year!
Shane: Rozanov IS an asshole, but he’s not that bad. He deserves it. He’s a good player.

It was now the night of the date. The first date Shane would ever go on with a man. He never took Shane out on a date. They were only allowed dark hotel rooms in the middle of the night because to the world they were rivals. With Jaime he could go out on a date because no one would care. If they were photographed, which happened sometimes when Shane went out, it would just be a player and his trainer to the world.

I can’t do this.I can’t go out on a date in public with a man. Everyone will know. But the date is supposed to happen in two hours. I can’t cancel now...it would be too rude. Maybe I can make up an illness?

After googling several different illnesses on WEBMD, he decided nothing seemed believable enough. Shane was a terrible liar after all.

Maybe I should just be honest and tell him I’m not ready to go out in public. He’ll understand.

Shane: Hey, so I’ve been thinking about tonight and I’m not ready to have a date out in public. How about we get some take out and stay at my place? We can watch the new Rose Landry movie?
Trainer Jaime: I understand.

Trainer Jaime:I love Rose Landry. Let’s do it.
Trainer Jaime: Well I don’t mean let’s do it.. as in sex. Unless that’s what you want.
Trainer Jaime: Sorry, I don’t mean to put you on the spot like that. Forget I said anything.

Jaime texts that he’s here. Shane has a flashback to when Ilya texted him that he was there the night they had sex for the first time. Not now. I can’t be thinking of him. Not now. Stop Shane.He doesn’t care about you.You’re boring remember. He doesn’t want you anymore. He’s definitely out there fucking a lot less boring people.

Jaime enters the apartment. He tells Shane he has good taste in design. The two eat chicken and vegetables and watch the movie. Jaime puts his arm around Shane on the couch. Shane immediately tenses up.

After the movie is over, the two talk for a bit.

Jaime gets up to go. Shane watches him, thinking about asking him to stay, wondering what it would be like with another man.

Just as Jaime reaches the door, he turns back. “Fuck it—I gotta do this or I’ll go crazy.” Right before he crashes into Shane’s lips, he pauses long enough to ask, “Is okay?”

Shane closes his eyes and sees him and shakes his head yes. Why did he have to say those words? Instantly, Shane is reliving his first time with him, even as he’s kissing Jaime. Without meaning to, he deepens the kiss.

Jaime feels Shane’s cock getting hard and smirks. He tugs at Shane’s belt buckle. “Is this okay?”

Shane nods again, eyes still closed. Jaime drops to his knees, pulling Shane’s jeans and underwear down just enough to free him. Shane keeps his eyes shut as Jaime takes him in his mouth.

Shane is physically in Jaime’s throat but mentally he’s with Ilya.

Jaime is gags on him, while Shane starts cursing under his breath.

“Fuck fuck fuck- I’m gunna…”

Jaime sucks him more furiously. Shane cums in Jaime’s mouth. Jaime looks up and smirks. Shane starts pulling up his pants and underwear and zippering himself back in.

Jaime stands while wiping his lips ”that was hot.”

He brushes Shane’s hair, touches his temple a “ I’ll text you. Byyyee.”

After making sure Jaime is gone, Shane sits on the stairs. The tears come before he can stop them.

What the fuck did I just do? That was wrong. That was so unfair to Jaime. What the fuck is wrong with me? How can I be thinking of him while another man is sucking my dick?

Its a few months later and Shane and Ilya have just presented at the MHL awards. Ilya had gone completely off script. He'd taken a selfie and asked for Shane’s number so he can text him the pics.

In front of everyone in the league!!!!

Shane couldn’t even imagine what his face had looked like. As if that wasn't enough, Ilya had the nerve to caress Shane’s back when he dropped his arm from the selfie pose.

The second they were offstage, Shane bolted for the nearest bathroom. His nerves were shot. He felt like he might actually die.

What the fuck am I going to do? Everyone saw that. Everyone.

He heard the door open and looked over. Of course it was Ilya. Is he here to make fun of me????

“What the FUCK was that? " Shane snapped, getting into Ilya's face slightly. "The script was for me to offer you some Canadian niceness lessons so you could win for sportsmanlike conduct next year.”

Ilya smirked. “ As if I’d want to be a boring Canadian.”

Shane shook his head” Typical. You’re such an asshole.”

Ilya’s face got slightly more serious when he realized that Shane was actually a bit mad. Okay maybe not a bit mad he thought to himself but really mad. “Look Hollander, I didn’t think it would..”

Before Ilya could finish, Shane snaps “ Why are you here?” Ilya looks at him with feign confusion “uh contracted to be here.”

“No, Rozanov. Why are you here“  he motioned to the bathoom.

Ilya hesitated. “I just thought… you seemed… I thought we could..”

“What?” Shane snapped. “You thought you’d just completely humiliate me and I’d what? Suck your dick?”

“Humiliate?” Ilya scoffed. “That’s a bit...how do you say...exaggeration.” Then, without missing a beat, “But yes. I do want you to suck my dick.”

“Absolutely not,” Shane shot back. “You suck my dick.”

Ilya’s smile turned sharp. Oh, Hollander, playing hard to get. Game on. He saw his opening and stepped closer. “If you want me to get on my knees on this filthy bathroom fucking floor and suck your dick,” he said quietly, “you’re going to have to ask me nicer than that.”

Shane steps back and asks Ilya to leave. Ilya steps closer and cups Shane’s cock through his pants. Shane quietly grunts and puffs out a hot breath on Ilyas neck, once he comes back from the momentarily sex haze, he steps back away form Ilya again.

“If you won’t leave than I will.” Shane turns his body away to leave the bathroom. Ilya grabs his wrist. “Look I didn’t mean to embarrass you. I just didn’t have your n..”

Both men are alerted to the door opening and Shane’s eyes widen while he takes away his wrist from Ilya instanteously. Ilya looks down to where he  just lost Shane's touch and then he looks to Shane’s eyes, who have immediately softened at the man he guessed familiar to Shane. He was  6 foot 5, tattoos peeking out from his sleeve. Ilya is cautiously watching Shane's facial expressions. Who the fuck was this man? Shane was definitely not out.

Jaime smiles "There you are Shane." He looks at Shane and back to Ilya and back to Shane again. Ilya’s face is unreadable.

Jaime cautiously asked if everything was okay.

Shane smiles and starts to walk out "Yes, I was just leaving. Good luck Rozanov."
Ilya does not move at watches Shane start to move more away from him "Hollander, we are NOT done here. I.."
Shane cuts him off, doesn't even turn his head to meet Ilya's eyes and answers "Yes. We are."

Shane and Jaime walk out the door and Jaime puts his arm on Shane’s shoulder and asks him if he’s okay again. Ilya is now alone in the bathroom. Confused as fuck. Mad as fuck. Horny as fuck.

“номер. У меня больше нет твоего номера. “(Number. I don’t have your number anymore.)

Ilya shakes his head at himself in the mirror. “ Fuckkkkkkkkkkkkk.” Ilya shakes his head again and slams his hands down on the counter.

Later that night, Ilya won MVP. While he is up on stage he sees Shane sitting next to that Scottish accented mother fucker. The Scottish man is leaned into Shane and said something. Shane smiled and met Ilya’s eyes.

Кто этот ублюдок, который подходит слишком близко? (who is this fucker getting too close) …. thought frowning slightly.

Ilya decides he will turn to his god given talent, ragebaiting, to divert Shane's attention from this motherfucker. " And thanks to Hollander for not working hard enough to beat me. This one is for you." He winked at Shane and started to walk off stage.

When he turns to the steps off stage, he can see on the jumbo screen Shane’s angry kitten face and smiles to himself. Gotcha Hollander. Pay attention to me.

At the party afterwards, Shane’s teammates are surrounding him and trying to make him feel better. They can't believe Rozanov had done that and went on and on about how he was such an asshole.

Across the room, Ilya was laser focused on Shane all night. He was waiting, hoping, manifesting Shane to come up to him and give him shit.

Something…anything to get him to come to him, but he doesn’t. He doesn’t even look at Ilya.

Ilya is about to say fuck it, since Shane’s team has now left his side and do the approaching himself. Shane is walking out so this is perfect, they can go right upstairs to his penthouse and he can finally get inside Shane again. He starts to follow Shane out when he sees the Scottish man touching Shane’s arm AGAIN.

Ilya makes fists at his side. What in the actual FUCK is going on? This was supposed to be his night. He had plans for Shane tonight. God why the fuck did he have to throw his phone at the wall in Russia. He would have been able to text Shane right now with his room number.

Jaime took his last sip of his drink and looked directly at Shane. "Hey I know we haven’t gotten together since….. but God you look so good in that suit. I know it’s been a shitty night for you, so let me take care of you. I’m at your disposal for whatever you want to do with me."

Shane looks down. If he doesn't go upstairs with Jaime, he's going to end up waiting for him to text. Considering the past six months, he doubted that would happen. But he didn't want to use Jaime again either. Ugh “I don’t know if that’s a good idea. I’m not in a good head space and I don’t want to use you to make myself feel better. That’s not fair to you.”

Jaime smiles at Shane because he was such a good honest man. “I’m literally telling you to use me. I want to make you feel good.” He leans in to whisper in Shane’s ear. “Don’t you want to see me naked?”

Ilya on the other hand is seeing all the shades of red there is. What theeeee
Cliff walks over and blocks Ilya’s view of Shane.
“My man! My MVP! Let’s ditch this place and go celebrate.” Ilya tries to look to see what Shane is doing, ignoring Cliff. Cliff turns his head to see what he’s looking at. “See some grade A? Where is she?”

Shane and that man are no longer standing there. Ilya is looking around to see where they could have gone and starts walking forward.

Cliff slams his drink and leave it on the bar. "Alright my man, that’s what I’m talking about let’s go."

Ilya stops when he does a full scan of the area and concludes they are gone. Cliff stops as well, confused at why they are stopping.

Ilya wants to go back in the banquet room to see if maybe they went back in there, even though he knew it wasn't really possible since he had been standing right at the entrance and would definitely have seen them. Anything is better than where his mind is taking him.

His mind is imaging alot of things that Ilya does not ever want to have visions of in his head.  He knows Shane probably hooks up with other people for how seldom he sees him, but not while they are in the same city.

“Uh left my phone in there on table. Be right back.” Ilya goes back in and Shane is still no where to be found. He does see Hayden and nope not  Shane's not sitting with him like he was before. He briefly thinks about asking Hayden for Shane’s number. Hayden is not too bright, he’s sure he could come up with some lie that Hayden would believe.

Just as he’s about to approach Hayden, Cliff is at his side. ”Ah, got your phone I see. Let’s go the ranch. They have the hottest girls there.”

Meanwhile in a luxury suite 35 floors up, Shane is standing at the window. His dress shirt is on but unbuttoned, with his pants still on. He’s holding a glass of Russian vodka, even though he’s not a vodka person he thinks to himself there’s no calories and when in Vegas….

Jaime had taken the elevator to his own room first he needed to grab some things. Shane heard the click of the keycard opening the door and  for a split second he hoped it would be Ilya. Its not Ilya of course,  he doesn't have a key like he'd just given Jaime. Shane looks at him and wordlessly drags a chair from the living area into the bedroom while still holding his vodka in the other. Jaime furrows his brows but follows him. Shane puts the chair at the end of the bed and sits down. Jaime looks at him confused.

Shane has a look in his eyes Jaime had never seen in the short time they knew each other, but it was hot as fuck. "Take your clothes off. Make it a show for me."

Jaime stands there and slowly starts taking off his clothes, putting on a real “Magic Mike” style show dancing on Shane in the chair.

Shane doesn’t say anything he just sits there and watches the show. Never touching Jaime. “Get on the bed.”

Jaime gets on the bed and pats it down trying to get Shane to join him.

Shane's face is unreadable when he finishes taking a sip of his vodka and says “ Touch yourself. I want to watch.”

Jaime puts his hand down his chest and works his way to his cock, which is already hard. He starts stroking it slowly.

“You want this baby? I’ll fuck you so good.” Jaime stops right before he’s about to climax and crawls on the cold stone floor to Shane and unzipped his pants. He frees Shane’s hard cock from his pants and looks to Shane for permission.

Shane says nothing. He takes a sip of his vodka and sets it down in the floor. He then grabs A fistful of Jaime’s hair and shoves his head down on his cock.

This time Shane doesn’t have flashbacks of Ilya. He cums in Jaime’s mouth. Jaime looks up at him and Shane wipes his lips.

Shane still has a cold stone look in his eyes when he says "Okay, now let’s take care of you. Get back on the bed."

While Jaime is getting back on the bed, Shane undresses revealing the plug he had in his hole. Turns out it’s easy to get a plug discreetly express delivered to your hotel room in Vegas when you have money. Shane had been desperate because he was not in the mood to be vulnerable enough to have someone else's entering him to prep nor did he want to do it in front of someone else tonight. Somehow a plug had been less, vulnerable. He had ordered it under his pseudo identity for sex purchases, "Hudson Williams". Thankfully, Jaime took long enough doing whatever the fuck it is he was doing to get up to the hotel room. 

Jaime raises an eyebrow, smirks and says “That’s what I’m talkin about.”

Shane gets up and throws a condom at Jaime from the nightstand. As Jaime is finishing getting the condom on, Shane gets on the bed and straddles Jaime. Jaime wordlessly takes out the plug and goes to kiss Shane but instead Shane pushes him back and sits down on Jaime’s cock, taking him all in.

Shane closes his eyes and starts riding Jaime’s dick like his life depends on it. Like his happiness depends on it. Maybe it does.

”Christ Shane... where did you learn how to take dick so good.”

Shane briefly sees his face flash across his mind. He squeezes his eyes shut so hard willing his face to disappear.

Jaime spanks Shane’s ass snapping Shane out of it. Shane gets a new determination and starts riding harder.

“Oh baby, you like that huh? Fuck I’m about to cum.“ After Jaime cums, Shane gets off him and takes a sip of his vodka again.

Jaime looks like a cat who just ate the canary. He gets up and goes into the bathroom telling Shane he likes to be clean. Shane nods and continues sipping.

He pulls out his phone and opens instagram.

CliffRaider007: Talent

📸 Ilya is in a photo with his teammate Cliff and two girls straddling each of their laps. The dark-haired girl has her lips on Ilya’s neck. Ilya’s eyes are closed, his head tilted back. Neither of the girls are wearing a top, but everything is strategically covered for the photo.

❤️ 212,603 likes
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👥 Tagged: rozanov81, cliffraider007

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❤️ Liked by benchboss, Vaughnny, pucktalkdaily, nhlupdates and others

Comments

sticktapper88: Fuck Rozanov's girl is hot
Vaughnny: Are you guys at the ranch? Hunter wouldn't go with me.
icedoutmedia: living his best life apparently
slutforrozanov: the things I do to this man 
powerplayer99: MVP and GOAT
nhlfanpage: comments about to get locked

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Well that’s enough of that. Shane closed the instagram app and noticed Hayden had texted him.

Hayds: you okay buddy? I didn’t know where you went.
Hayds: Fuck Rozanov!

Jaime comes back in the room. He looks at Shane with blissed out doe eyes and sits next to him on the bed. He goes to kiss Shane’s arm when Shane pulls away and gets off the bed. He stands by the nightstand and downs the rest of his glass of vodka.

Shane told him he was going to get into shower and then he wanted to sleep. And just to be sure Jaime knew he wasn't welcome to stay over, he asked him if he wanted to meet get coffee downstairs in the morning. Jaime was thrilled at the invite for coffee it seemed and he told Shane he was going to get going and wished him a goodnight.

Shane is standing in the bathroom, unable to fully look at himself in the mirror. Fuckkkkkkkkkk I’m drunker than I thought I was. But hey Shane you did it. You finally fucked someone else.
He let the hot water wash over him and wash away his thoughts.

When he comes out of the shower , the hotel room is empty. He sighs a breath of relief.
A text message ping sounds. Shane’s eyes darted to his phone, he tried not to get his hopes up. He frowned. It’s not from him. Not that he was even sure he wanted to speak to him or what he'd say, but he couldn't deny he wanted to see "Lily" flash on his screen.

Trainer Jaime: We didn’t even kiss.
Trainer Jaime: So here’s one for the road 😘

God I’m such an asshole. I didn’t even kiss him.

I would have hated if he did that to me. Jesus Christ I’m not even concerned about Jaime kissing me still just him. I’m just drunk that’s why I’m thinking about … Yeah okay Shane.

The next morning came.... against Shane's will. Fuckkk the alarm was loud. The sun was too bright. The bed sheets  were too white. The world was too spinny. Make it stahhhppp.

Shane put his head in his hands, shut off the alarm and saw a text notification.

Trainer Jaime: Good morning handsome. Last night was 🥵🥵
Trainer Jaime: Meet you at the cafe in an hour?
Shane: Yes it’s very morningy. Need coffee asap! Will see you in an hour.

50 minutes later Shane is walking to the elevator when he sees Cliff standing there waiting too.

"Hey Hollander. You look rough. Did you have fun last night?" Cliff eyes him up and down.
Shane grunts " I think a little too much fun…"
Cliff smirks." Oh Shit" He claps Shane's shoulder " We got into it last night too."
Shane frowns. If there was one thing Shane did not want to hear about or see... it was Ilya Rozanov.

The elevator doors opened. Cliff pauses for thought " Wait a second Shane- is this the walk of Shame???"

Shane starts moving towards the open door trying to get to coffee as quickly as possible when he looks up and sees Ilya standing there glaring at him. Shane quickly looks away and continues walking.

Cliff yells to Shane a few feet away from him now "Hollander you are a legend bro!"

Shane is now rounding the corner and can see coffee in sight. Ilya and Cliff start walking in the same direction as Shane.

Cliff raises his eyebrows at Ilya. " Man, looks like EVERYONE had a good night. Even goody two shoes Hollander."
Ilya is trying to speed up their walking pace so he can catch up to Shane. "Doubtful, Hollander is very boring."
Cliff  smiles "No man, he got wrecked last night. I didn’t want to embarrass the dude but he even had scratch marks on his back peeking out from his shirt."
Ilya slows down, almost stops walking "NO" probably a bit too loudly.

Cliff stops not even noticing Ilya's distress. " Man I’m starving I could go for some pancakes to soak up this liquor."

Ilya definitely did not want to eat at that moment. He was sick to his stomach. He told himself it was the alcohol last night but Russians don't get hangovers.  "I'm not hungry"
Just then he sees Shane sitting in the cafe. Ilya changes direction and walked toward the cafe "Actually- you know what yeah let’s eat."

The hostess asked if they wanted a table or booth but Cliff was staring at the menu above he starts to answer distractedly " Doesn'"
Cliff was staring at the menu posted above " Doesn…"

Ilya cut him off, his eyes on Shane. "I’d like a view веснушек"( of freckles)

The hostess starts leading the two to an open table. Cliff notices they are approaching Shane’s table and whispers to Ilya "Are you doing this on purpose?"

Ilya doesn't answer in a whisper and instead exclaims " I just wanted to say hi to my good friend SHANE HOLLANDER!"

Shane hears the Russian accent and closes his eyes hoping he is somehow wrong. He doesn’t even turn his head but he feels his touch on his shoulder. He shutters at the touch almost unnoticeably.

"Rozanov." he says not looking up at him.
Ilya's eyes stared into Shane not even giving the man Shane was sitting with a glance. "Hollander."

Cliff and Ilya are seated right next to Shane and Jaime. Ilya sits with his back to the window overlooking the strip with his body towards Shane instead.

Cliff put his hands down to get on his side "I thought you wanted to see the view Rozy."
Ilya's eyes did not leave Shane. "I see it just fine. It’s boring actually."

Shane rolled his eyes and took a deep breath.

Ilya turned his attention to Jaime. "And who is this Hollander? You didn’t introduce us." He wanted to say is this your boyfriend? Your fuck buddy? The man you THINK you're replacing me with? but of course he wouldn't out Shane in front of other people.

Jaime turns and smiles, extends his hand to Ilya "Hi, I’m Jaime. I’m the team trainer."

Ilya took a sip of the coffee the waiter just brought instead of taking Jaime's hand. Shane shook his head at the missed interaction, not meeting Ilya's eyes. Jaime shook Cliff’s hand instead.

Ilya looked at Shane and then turned slightly to Jaime, not actually looking at him, but instead raking over Shane's body trying to find those supposed scratch marks. "I’ve not seen you before."
Jaime smiles at Shane "I just joined the team after playoffs."
Ilya cocks his head to the side and shrugs "Oh yeah, I was too busy winning the cup."

Shane shook his head and muttered ASSHOLE under his breath.

Shane doesn't even look up "Ignore him, I do."
Ilya touches his chest. "Hollander you wound me."

Cliff smiled at Ilya's comment and asked Jaime where his accent was from.

Jaime went on to tell him he was from Scotland and had been the director of performance science for Great Britain’s Olympic hockey team.

Ilya pulled out his phone wanting Shane to notice its a different phone, so he has a reason to bring his broken phone casually. But Shane didn't look, so he instead turned to ragebaiting to get his attention. "Oh Mr. Director. Fancy. I didn’t even know Great Britain had a team. They are bad- no? Can’t play yourself?"

Jaime looks confused at why Ilya is being a dick to a perfect stranger. He understood the chirps on the ice, but this was not that. He eventually responds "Actually, yes I can play. I just prefer to.."

Ilya cut him off mid sentence. He just wanted Shane to look at him. "Boring. I’ve lost interest. In fact I’ve lost my will to live." Ilya puts a finger gun to head and pulls the trigger.

Shane didn't look at Ilya when he said "Rozanov... Fuck off."

Cliff didn't even seem surprised by Ilya's ragebaiting, he's used to it by this point. "Did you guys take advantage of the talent out here last night? Wait- I know you did Hollander. I saw the smirk on your face."

Jaime smiles into his coffee his eyebrows raised  when he admits that he  definitely took advantage of the talent out there last night. Even going as far to say it was one of the best nights of his life. One he wouldn't forget.

Cliff congratulated him.  Ilya said nothing, but his eyes looked like they were going to commit murder. The murder of a 6'5" tattooed Scottish man to be exact. He stared off, anywhere but looking at Shane because he DID NOT want to see Shane's freckles get pink from Jaime's comment. He turns his head because someone was approaching but when he turned his head he noticed that Shane also turned his head. He had clearly been looking at Ilya.

Shane and Jaime’s food had come and they start eating. Shane goes to grab the syrup when his shirt moves slightly and Ilya sees the scratch mark. ”Actually, I’ve lost my appetite. I’m gunna get going.” Ilya barks out while he stood up Throwing a fistful of ones down on the table.

Cliff frowned looking longingly at Shane's pancakes.  “But my pancakes?”

Ilya was already two steps away from the table when he turned “Stay. I’ll catch you later.” Shane glanced over to Ilya walking out and thinks he almost saw… hurt on Ilya’s face. He dismissed the idea and continued to eat.

4 months later…

Trainer Jaime: Good morning babe. Happy 3 month anniversary! Remember to put blueberries in your smoothie today. I’ll meet you at the gym. We got to get you opened up and stretched out for the game tonight…. And after 😏

Shane smiled at the text. He couldn't believe he'd been in a relationship for 3 months with a man and no one knew. However, it wasn't just their "anniversary" it was the first time he was going to play Boston this season. That was more on the forefront of Shane's thoughts.

You can do this. You can get through this game. It’s just one game.

Shane had quite the romantic night planned for after the game. Around his place were dozens and dozens of lilies.  He had picked the flowers subconsciously because well the "Lily" in his phone. The name was familiar to him and he didn't care about flowers, when the florist asked what he wanted, he said the first thing that came to mind, which of course had been.. Ilya. He had a playlist recommended by Hayden downloaded and saved. He bought watermelon lube and a blindfold.

Meanwhile at a hotel in downtown Montreal, the vibe was definitely not romance. It was uncertainty. It was yearning for a man with beautiful freckles to swallow your cock.

You’re not going to message him on instagram. Stop bringing up his page. He might not even see it and then what? Ilya begins typing in a name in the instagram search bar and of course the rest of the name auto populates because it’s basically a daily routine at this point.

Jaime McKenzie.. what do you have that I don’t? More tattoos? A nicer butt? Pfffft as if anyone could compare to mine. But he did have more tattoos than Ilya.

Ilya zoomed in on a pic of Jaime’s newest tattoo completing his other sleeve and if he didn’t know any better he would think that was Shane’s shoe in the background. He didn’t care if Shane had slept with someone else. Well that’s not true he REALLY cared. He still wanted him. He could show him what he’s been missing.  

Ilya pressured the team to get to the arena extra early for warmups hoping he could get a minute alone with Shane. When they got out on the ice, Shane was no where to be found. Ilya was trying to save his stretches for when Shane came out because he know how much that got Shane worked up. Ilya’s heart stopped every time he saw a player come out from the Montreal side, hoping it would be Shane.

Now Hayden Pike was out there but still no Shane. What the actual fuck? Is Shane hurt? Is he sick? Somewhere deep down he thought or is he avoiding me.

Ilya skated up as close as he could to Hayden without raising suspicion to see if he could overhear any details. JJ skated over to Hayden and said “where is Hollander? It’s weird he’s late. He was at morning practice. “

Hayden answered that Shane had been super weird and wouldn't give much details but he was getting ready for something tonight and might be a little late to warmups. Hayden notices Ilya getting too close “ Don’t start with me Rozanov!”

“Was going to teach you how to use your stick Pike. You need help-no?” Ilya smirks at Hayden but his face falls when he turns.

What the fuck was Hollander getting ready for tonight? Did he think I was coming over? Probably not. So then what is he doing? It’s not his birthday yet. It’s not his parents birthdays. He always talked about getting them gifts but that wasn’t until the end of the season and this is our first game together of the season.

Hayden pointed with his stick "Oh there he is- speak of the devil."

Ilya whipped his head around to see Shane smiling so brightly and giving a fist pump to Mr. Tattoos. Motherfucker.

Cliff yelled to Ilya that the coach wanted them. Ilya huffed and skated away.

Shane was very aware it was his first game since Ilya and him had broken up. Well not broke up since they weren’t dating… they weren’t anything. Shane frowns at the thought. You were everything. 

But things are different now. He’s got Jaime. Jaime is wonderful… he really does care for him. He wouldn’t say he loves him yet. That will come with time and it’s normal to not feel that way yet. He knows because he googled it.

Of course it’s a Hollander x Rozanov face off to open the game. Got to give the crowd what they want. Shane has thought long and hard about how he is going to handle Ilya’s ragebaiting on the ice and come to the conclusion that he will be giving him the silent treatment. Engaging with him will only fuel him more.

Ilya's eyes are on Shane "How does it feel to always be beneath me?"

Shane says nothing. He doesn’t even look up at Ilya his eyes are only on the puck. Ilya smirks" Nothing to say? That means you like it there- no?"

Shane wins the face off and makes a goal. Ilya makes it his personal mission the whole game to get a reaction out of Shane. So much so that he was not focused enough on scoring.

He just wanted something out of Shane. Anything.

He slammed into Shane into the boards multiple times while whispering in his ear “you like that baby” and “you want me to do it harder next time? I know you like that.” But Shane gives Ilya no reaction and never meets his eyes.

Montreal won 4 to 0. Even the press asked Shane what he thought of Rozanov seeming to have it out for him more than usual so much so that he forgot to score.

Shane responded with “I just focused on winning.”

Ilya knew he was in deep shit. He hadn't realized things were this bad. The thing was he didn’t know how to make things better. It’s not as if he could just show up at Shane’s place and demand forgiveness.

Or could he? Ilya got the idea in his head. Yes that’s what I’m going to do. Show up at his house. 

Before Ilya thought about it too much, he was in a cab on his way to Shane’s.

He mindlessly scrolled on his phone when he had this feeling he needed to check on something. He typed in Jaime McKenzie and his heart damned near stopped when he saw Jaime’s newest post.

JMcKenzzzzz24:Happy 3 months babe

📸 Lillies sitting on the dresser,  white door in the background

❤️ 52 likes

💬 8 comments

Comments:

JackiePikesHusband: Congrats bro
IceQueen22: Bring them home I wanna meet them 😍😘❤️
Theo_JamesFan: You're such a dork. Who'd date you?
GlasgowGoalie07: Wish you the best man
BlackBlade91: 3 months already? you got cuffed up fast over there.

Although Shane wasn’t tagged of course, he knew from the background that was Shane’s master bathroom door in the background.

Ilya saw red. He wanted to throw up.

They were actually in a fucking relationship? Lillies? Is this a cruel fucking joke Hollander? Does Shane know his FUCKING BOYFRIEND posted this? He was so paranoid of getting caught with me but allows this?

"Driver, change of plans. Please take me to the best nightclub in town."

Luckily, Ilya was dressed well enough for a night club. Not exactly what he would have picked out to wear there but it will do. He texted Cliff to bring the boys to this club. Cliff enthusiastically agreed.

Ilya sat at the bar and took a few shots while contemplating exactly how he got to a point in his life where he was freaking out over a pic of lillies on instagram.

Cliff bumped his arm thankfully, distracting him for the torture going on in his head."  Ready to get weird?"

Ilya downed his drink and headed on the dance floor. He found a dark haired girl with a nice ass and latched onto her for dear life, she didn’t seem to mind.

He had lost count of how many drinks he had at this point. When he got to the bar for another, he felt someone looking at him. He turned to see Mr. Tattoos.

Is NO fucking way. I’m seeing things now great. Is Mr. Tattoos out here cheating on Shane on their anniversary? Or is it not Shane he is having an anniversary with and I’m wrong?

Please let me be wrong.

Ilya turns and scans the room to find Hayden, JJ, a few others of Montreal’s team that Ilya couldn’t be bothered to learn the names of…. and him.
Shane looked good as fuck. Ilya didn’t know if it was Shane being in a club or the fact that Ilya was drunk but he’d never seen Shane look so good.

At that moment, Mr. Tattoos brought over drinks to the group and Shane’s face lit up.

Ilya got back on the dance floor and picked a girl in perfect eyeline of Shane hoping Shane would see him and react.

Shane hated being at clubs, but the guys wanted to go out and Shane was tired of being boring. Plus this would take the edge off the anniversary night.

Shane did not plan on going  anywhere near the dance floor that night but it did look freeing. As he scanned the room he saw Cliff and not too far away, in fact right in front of Shane’s face ... him. Shane stopped breathing for a second there. Hayden was trying to talk to him when he saw Shane’s face and followed his eyes. "Ugh fucking Rozanov is here. Really? He better not say anything. I am not in the mood."'

JJ's face soured "Fuck Rozanov " 
"What was his problem today anyways? He seemed to have a vendetta against you Shane." Jaime looked over to him.
Hayden's face cringed "Typical Rozanov, Asshole."

15 months later, Shane is standing outside a familiar arena. Not his arena but it was still more special to him than he'd like to admit.

"Mom, I don’t understand why I have to do this. I’m not even being paid that much and ya’ll know the game cover curse?" 

Yuna brushed Shane's jersey straight "Listen, I know you hate him but you’re under contract and have to be there. I've got to go talk with the photographer and give him my non-negotiables"

Shane and Ilya were being photographed together to be on the cover of a video game.

Walking into the arena they were shooting at, Shane was brought back to their photoshoot when they were rookies. It was their first kiss. He felt like that was a lifetime ago at this point, things were so different. That one was Ilya’s idea, at least that’s what he told him. Shane always wondered why he did that. This time though Shane knew for sure it wasn’t Ilya’s idea. He all but asked the question directly to his manager.

Meanwhile, the Russian who never gets nervous was  nervous as fuck to be alone with Shane like this. He didn’t want to fuck this up. This was his chance to get Shane back. He didn’t give a fuck about any tattooed man. He needed Shane to hear him out. He made sure Shane wouldn’t find out but he gave the video game company the idea to have both of them on the cover. His plan had worked so far and he was going to be damned if it didn’t completely go in his favor.

Shane skates out onto the ice. Ilya is already there shooting in the goal for practice. Shane doesn’t approach him but instead goes to the other side of the ice. Ilya had been watching for Shane for the last half hour, so when he finally came he wasted no time and skated right over to him.

"Can we talk?"
Shane doesn't meet his eyes and tells him they have nothing to talk about. There is danger in looking in Ilya's eyes. He will melt instantly, so he avoids it at all costs. 
Ilya tells Shane adamantly that yes they do need to talk. 
Shane says flatly "What Rozanov?"
Ilya tries to explain what happened in Russia, but Shane cuts him off "I really don’t care. It’s in the past let’s leave it there."

Shane starts to skate away and Ilya puts his hockey stick out in front of him to stop him." Would you just stop and listen to me for a second??? Christ."

Shane doesn’t move but he doesn’t look at Ilya either. "Was in a very bad place because of losing and my father….. anyways sorry for not answering you. Was not trying to hurt you."

Shane's eyes dart up to Ilya" Okay… so what’s your excuse for never texting me again then? Did you forget how to text. Throw your phone off an airplane?"

Ilya doesn't break eye contact " Not off an airplane.. no. Threw it at a wall. Lost my temper after my Dad well… Anyways got a new phone in Russia and lost my contacts."

Shane looks down and raises his eyebrows" Right."

"Hollander. Being serious. Have not been ABLE to text you."

Shane is floored.

Completely taken back at this admission. Before he can truly process they are called over for pictures.

This time there is not the laughter there was the first time. Instead the pics are very serious since both of them are in a free fall of emotions at the moment so the photographer got exactly what he needed pretty quickly.

Shane quickly skated away after the shoot was done. He needed a minute alone to think about what just happened.

Shane let the hot water pour over him and tried to drown out what was going on inside him.

Then he wondered if he had subconsciously came to the showers hoping Ilya would follow him like he did the last photo shoot.

Ilya wasn't going to allow him that minute alone though, he followed him into the showers… again. Maybe a better man wouldn't have followed him, but Ilya was desperate and running out of time.

Just as Shane was trying to brush the thought off, Ilya walked in the showers, naked.

I’m not gunna turn my head. I’m not gunna turn my head.

"Hollander."
"Hollander."

Shane turns around to look at him. He literally cannot stop his eyes from raking in his body up and down. A sight he has not seen in years. He won’t even let himself dream about it. Ilya sees that Shane is checking him out and smirks.

Ilya winked at Shane like a reflex "Like what you see Hollander?"
Shane turns slightly but just still getting the glorious vision of naked Ilya in his peripheral view "Fuck off."

Shane tried to go on showering but he can’t ignore the fact his dick was fully hard.

Ilya didn’t miss a beat and pounced on Shane. He’s was so close to Shane that Shane could feel Ilya’s hot breath on his neck.

Ilya’s hands are approached Shane’s hard dick. "is okay?"

Shane didn’t say anything but he sucked in his breath and gulped.

"Your dick wants me to touch... but I will not  touch you until your mouth tells me yes too." Ilya moans softly in Shane's ear.

Shane is about to break "I"

Ilya persists "You what Hollander?" eyeing him carefully.
Jaime crosses Shane's mind and the guilt sets in "I can’t." Shane exhales.

Shane didn’t look Ilya in the eyes and turned his body completely away now.

Ilya’s eyes lost the hope they were filled with a few moments ago. "Okay Hollander. I am sorry… about everything."

Ilya didn't even bother finishing his shower and started walking out.

"I’m seeing someone." Shane says in a low voice.

Ilya stopped but says nothing and walks out.

Trainer Jaime: Hey babe- hope the photo shoot goes well. Can’t wait to see you when you get home.
Shane: Yes, all done here. Will be home later. Meet you at my place for 9?
Trainer Jaime: I’ll be there 😘

Shane’s quick 2 hour flight home felt like it took a lifetime. Not because he was so eager to get home but because he was going through hell emotionally

I’m gunna have to break up with Jaime.

It’s best to just rip the bandaid off and get it over with.
I just got fucking hard for Ilya…. I’m disgusting.

Shane opens his door to lillies everywhere with the playlist going that Shane had played for Jaime on their 5 month anniversary. Apparently Jaime had let himself in with the keycode Shane gave him for emergencies.

Shane was extremely confused. It’s not his birthday. It’s not Jaime’s birthday. It’s not their anniversary ( he did a quick brain check to make sure it wasn’t an anniversary of anything), nothing to celebrate really. So what is going on?

He turns the corner to see Jaime down on one knee with a ring. Shane freezes, his face unreadable.

"Shane Mildred Hollander… will you do me the extraordinary honor of being my husband?"
Shane can't seem to pull a full sentence out of the mess going on in his head " I…"
Jaime pulls his hand " I know we can’t get married until you’re ready to come out. But I love you so much. I’m okay with this being a long engagement if that’s what you need. I just want you for life."

Shane nods before Jaime finishes.

Jaime jumps up for joy and kisses Shane putting the ring on his finger. Shane is not moving and still in shock.

"I’ll be right back." Shane goes into the bathroom and has a full blown panic attack. He rips off all his clothes down to his underwear because he wants to crawl out of his skin and since he can’t do that crawling out of his clothes will have to do.

Jaime knocks on the door since it’s been a while and Shane opens it. He looks Shane up and down and smiles" Oh I like where your head is at babe. Let’s go upstairs."

A few weeks later, Jaime told Shane that he had booked a flight home to Scotland so he could tell his parents in person and that he really wanted him to come along. 
Although Shane did not want to go meet his parents he felt like it was the good boyfriend thing to do … erm fiancé thing to do so he agreed.

Jaime beamed his best smile "Really???"
Shane answered with the fakest smile known to man" Yep". Above all else, Shane liked to please.

Jaime did not notice his fake smile, he was on cloud 9. He told him that  he couldn't wait for Shane to meet him and they would love him. Which of course would be true, everyone loved Shane Hollander, especially parents. 

Jaime and Shane decided to go when the team was off for the upcoming holiday. Shane was going to tell the team he was going out there for a brand deal.

A week later, JJ is walking through the locker room when he says to the group " Did you hear about Rozanov?"
"What?" Shane answers way too quickly than he would like to have.
JJ tells the group he saw on the news that Ilya hadn't boarded the plane with his team to Nashville after the game.
Hayden asked if Rozanov had gotten hurt. JJ starts to shake his head when Shane answers again too quickly "No"
Hayden was looking in his locker cubby and commented maybe he was sick.

Shane scrolled instagram and the internet for any news but there was nothing. After he thought about it all night, worried himself sick, he made a rash decision he hoped he wouldn't regret. 

Shane: It’s Jane- you okay?

Shane didn’t get an answer. It was now time to pack for his trip.

At the airport Shane was constantly refreshing for any news. The only news there was that Ilya had not been at the afternoon Nashville game. Ilya never missed games. He’ll he even played with very bruised ribs. This was not like him. Something is wrong.

Jaime and Shane’s flight arrives and Shane sees he has a missed call- from Lily.

Jaime is trying to rush Shane along to get out of the airport but Shane is preoccupied wanting to know what’s going on, desperately wanting to call him back.

I’m a fucking terrible person. I’m here with my fucking fiancé and I’m worried about him. I don’t deserve Jaime. I need to end this.

Even though Jaime said of course they can stay at his parents, Shane had booked a hotel room. He thought it was too weird and since he’s not even out to his own family. He didn't want to put himself in that situation. He was relieved that he had this hotel room because that meant he’d have some breathing room.

Jaime told Shane he would be going to his parents' house because they were begging him to come over today instead of tomorrow.  Shane started to move like he was going to go with him, but he had a look on his face that Jaime knew as tired. He told  Shane it was okay for him to stay in the hotel for the night and he could just wait until tomorrow to come. Shane was grateful for the out and jumped on it. He confirmed with Jaime that he was indeed very jet lagged and tired fromt eh game yesterday, it had been rough. He'd love to get some sleep. After saying this though, Shane felt a little bad and told him he didn't want to be a dick and he could come.

Jaime smiled at him and kissed his forehead, reasssuring him it was okay and he appreciated the fact that he came even with his busy schedule. He would be happy enough with them getting together tomorrow. He did warn Shane that he didn't know if he would come back tonight based on how much he would be drinking with his parents. They were definitely drinkers, which Shane had already known from his stories. He told Shane to not be surprised that if he did make it back tonight he would most likely be drunk.

Shane told Jaime to have fun and that he didn't mind a drunk Jaime.
Jaime kissed his neck and said " Oh- I know you love drunk Jaime. Also in case I forget- make sure you wear your ring tomorrow."

Jaime gives Shane a kiss and leaves.

When Shane is sure Jaime is gone. He deadbolts the door and calls Ilya. No answer.

Shane starts reading the book he bought for the plane when he gets a FaceTime call.
It’s “Lily”

Ilya: You were glasses?
Shane: Just for reading. *Shane takes the glasses off.*
Shane: How are you? Are you okay?
Ilya: I will be better when you put your glasses back on.
Shane puts his glasses back on.
Shane: Better?
Ilya: Yes- where are you? At a hotel?
Shane: Yes
Ilya: But you don’t have a…
Shane: What’s going on? Why did you miss a game?
Ilya: I’m at home. Stalk me much?
Shane: Boston? You ok?
Ilya: No, Russia. My father.
Shane: is he ..
Ilya: Dead- yes.
Shane: I’m so sorry. I’m here if you need to talk.
Ilya: Are you?
Shane: Yes, we can be friends.
Ilya: Friends? We can never be friends Hollander. I have to go.
Shane: Okay. When is the funeral?
Ilya: Tomorrow.
Shane: Okay- call me if you need.

Ilya hung up.
Before Shane could think too much about it he was changing his flight home to Moscow.

He didn’t know how he was going to do this but he just needed to see Ilya.

Every fiber of his being was leading him to Moscow.

Shane’s plane was landing in Moscow. Right now he should be worried about his relationship he might have just ruined.

He left with only a text to Jaime saying he had to go back home to deal with an emergency but that everything was okay and he should stay there with his parents.

But instead of worrying about his wonderful fiance, he was worried about how exactly he was going to see Ilya. He had no idea where the funeral was or even where Ilya lived. He googled what info he could and was hoping he could figure something out when he got there.

Shane Hollander that needs a plan for everything just abandoned his Fiancé who was a man to go to a country that hates gay men to be there for another man… with no plan.

What is happening to me???

It’s not as if he could just show up at his door anyways.

This was a stupid idea. Very very stupid.

Since Shane and Ilya had first hooked up, he had been learning to speak Russian in secret.

He wanted to surprise Ilya one day.

He wanted to know what the fuck Ilya was saying when he would say things under his breath in Russian. Shane had no problems learning languages but he was a bit rusty and never practiced conversation with a real person.

He had stopped trying to learn it when he started dating Jaime so it’s been a long time now.

Still he was able to fumble through enough to figure out where the funeral was. He didn’t actually go into it.

He just stood outside and watched. Ilya looked so different in Russia somehow. He looked sadder, colder and tougher. Ilya turned and he swears he was looking right at Shane but then he turned again and Shane assumed he was wrong.

Shane went back to his hotel room and later that night decided he was going to do it. He texted Ilya.

Shane: I’m at the plaza. Room 1919
Lily: wrong text?
Shane: No, “Lily” and it’s just to talk… so we’re clear.
Lily: I’m still in Moscow sorry 😢
Shane: I know you are.
Lily: Wait- what?
Shane: I’m also in Moscow
Lily: ?????
Lily: is that where you were last night?
Lily: Why are you here?
Lily: I’m on my way

15 minutes later there was a knock at the door. Shane opened the door and Ilya dove into his arms.

He touched Shane’s face while pinching his arm. " You’re really here? ... I’m not seeing things? Dreaming ?"
Shane flinches in pain "Ouchhh why are you pinching me? Yes I’m here."
Ilya looks at him still not believing it "But …but… why?"
Shane touches the back of his head." I was in the area."
Ilya scoffs "of Moscow? Yeah OKAY. you are terrible liar Hollander."
Shane ignores the question "How are you?"
Ilya says softly brushing Shane's cheek "Better now that you’re here."

Ilya goes in to kiss Shane.

"We can’t. That’s not why I’m here."
Ilya steps back and looks at him "Okay… yeah that’s right you want to be Friends."

Ilya rolled his eyes like it’s the most ridiculous thing he’s ever heard. He’s holding Shane’s hand.
"Can we sit?" Shane pulled his hand away, but Ilya stopped him and froze.

"What the FUCK is this? Shane?" Ilya is holding Shane’s ring finger displaying his engagement ring. Shane hasn’t been wearing it in public but since he was going to meet Jaime’s parents he put it on and must have forgotten to take it off.

"Hollander- are you ENFUCKINGGAGED?"

Shane doesn't know how to answer " I..."
Ilya closes his eyes "NO"
Shane winces" it just kind of happened"
Ilya's nostrils are flared "What do you mean? Explain yourself right now."
Shane touched the back of his head and puts his thumb on his lip "I came back one day to my place and Jaime had flowers everywhere and he was down on one knee."

"And?????" Ilya spews.

Shane ran a hand over his face, heart hammering. “And he asked me to marry him.”

Ilya froze the bit back "And you said yes? What the fuck? You’re not even out! Do your parents even know?”

Shane swallowed hard, panic bubbling in his chest. “Actually… I didn’t say yes.”

There was a long pause. “Then… why are you wearing the ring?”

Shane glanced down at his hand. “I nodded.”

“What?” Ilya’s voice shot up an octave. “Nodding means yes in Canada, right? Am I missing something?”

Shane ran a hand through his hair, his stomach twisting. “No… I nodded to something else he said. But he… he just took it as a yes to his proposal.”

Ilya frowned. “Wait—what were you nodding to? You didn’t correct him?”

Shane sighed. He explained that he had nodded when Jaime said "he knows we can’t get married right away" but that he was actually only nodding to the " he knows we can't get married" part.

“And when was this?” Ilya pressed, disbelief heavy in his tone.

“About three and a half weeks ago.”

Ilya groaned. “So… right after our photoshoot?”

Shane nodded again. “Yeah.”

Ilya looks at him as if his world just blew up.

Shane searches Ilya's eyes "I was going to end things with him but this happened instead. Anyways I’m here for you. I don’t want to talk about my problems."

Ilya shakes his head in disbelief "So you’re agreeing with me that your wincing at the word fiancé… is a problem. Great glad we are the same page.
Putting his hands up in defeat "Fuuuuuuckkkk Hollander."

Ilya lays back on the bed. Shane joins him.

Ilya then rests his head on Shane’s chest. "How did we get here?"

Shane says nothing but he brushes his fingers through Ilya’s hair. Ilya falls asleep to the sound of Shane’s heart beat.

Ilya wakes up hours later. He looks over to see Shane fast asleep. They are both fully clothed on top of the bed not under any blankets.
Something they have never done.
Ilya smiles and breathes out relief. He is the happiest he’s been in years at this moment and he feels guilty that it’s at his father’s funeral.
Ilya holds Shane a bit tighter trying not to wake him but to just treasure this beautiful moment.

Before Shane wakes up Ilya leaves.

Shane wakes up and Ilya is not in the room. He sees a note that says “ Thank you “

Shane texts Ilya to let him know his flight is leaving in a few hours. Hoping he can somehow see him again.

Ilya sees his text but knows it’s too dangerous for him to be in Shane’s presence right now so he opts for a FaceTime instead.

Ilya: Hey- have a safe flight home. Thanks for visiting. It meant…. Everything to me.
Shane: Where are you now? The cemetery ?
Ilya: Yes.
Shane: Getting everything settled for your dad?
Ilya: Ah no. I’m visiting my mom.
Shane: Oh, I’m so sorry.
Ilya: No, it’s okay.
Shane: I’ll let you go Ilya.

Ilya:Никогда не отпускай меня, Шейн. don't ever let me go Shane 

Shane kisses his two fingers and presses them to the screen.

Ilya’s heart stops.

Ilya ends the call quietly saying "I dropped you a pin if you want to meet me."

Shane hung up. He probably hadn’t heard him.

Ilya was at his mother’s grave, speaking softly in Russian, when a cab pulled up.

Shane stepped out, luggage in hand, scanning the cemetery until his eyes found Ilya. He started walking toward him.

“You came,” Ilya said quietly.

“You called,” Shane replied.

Ilya told him the story of his mother, he looked sad but happy in the memory of her. Shane knelt, gazing thoughtfully at the grave, then lifted two fingers to his lips, pressing a small kiss as he had on the screen before.

Ilya spoke in Russian behind him, and Shane froze.

“What’s wrong?” Ilya asked.

“Nothing,” Shane said, forcing a smile. “I just… noticed the time. I have to go before I miss my flight.”

“Oh,” Ilya said. “I’ll give you a ride.”

The drive to the airport was nearly silent. Shane counted the minutes to himself, grateful it was short.

“Thanks for the ride,” he said finally. “I’ll see you.”

He turned to get out of the car, back to Ilya, when he heard it:

“Don’t marry him. Just… don’t. Please. Don’t.”

Shane didn’t respond. He stepped out and disappeared into the airport.