Chapter Text
now
Pittsburgh Trauma Medical Center is massive.
The building looks heavier than the hospital she’s used to back in Los Angeles. Older. Brick and concrete instead of glass and steel. There’s a constant hum around it. Sirens shrill somewhere nearby, doors opening and closing, the low mechanical sigh of a city that doesn’t pause just because she’s new.
Nina stops on the sidewalk just outside the glass door that will lead her inside. Someone bumps into her, mouths her off and continues on their way. She has a 5 second delay noticing all this, so when she turns to look, the passerby is already turning the corner.
A deep breath snakes its way into Nina’s lungs and stays trapped there for a few moments. Her eyes are slightly bulging out of her head. Her hands sweat a little. She doesn’t know why she’s nervous. She’s great at her job, has experience to spare. Could do it with her eyes closed, if needed.
“Fuck,” it comes out low and hoarse.
Actually, she does know. She’s nervous because this is a completely different place than what she’s used to. Has a ton of different people. She’s not familiar with every nook and cranny. Doesn’t even know where the bathroom is.
Just then, the door swooshes open, someone comes outside, and she can listen to the environment inside. What she hears settles like a cozy blanket over her anxiety. A voice shouts orders, clipped and urgent. Monitors beep in uneven rhythms, a cacophony of vitals. Stretchers roll past, their wheels squeaking against the linoleum floor.
This is her natural habitat. She got this.
If her many years in emergency medicine taught her anything, it was to keep calm under stressful situations.
Suck it up, crybaby, the little voice in her mind has the audacity of saying. She can't afford to ignore it, so she does suck it up and makes her way inside.
Bright white lights and quiet voices greet her. There's clearly a change of shift going on. People walk in pairs, discussing ongoing cases and treatments, indicating patients that are waiting for beds upstairs, handing off charts.
This is much more familiar to home than she expected. This is your home now, dumbass. The fucking nerve of her brain.
Nina locates who probably is the charge nurse standing behind a counter typing away at a computer, glasses perched on the bridge of her nose. She has her platinum blond hair half up half down and mouths off some instructions before glancing up at her. She looks as tired as glad for being there.
“Hi, hon. Can I help you?”
“Hi,” Nina approaches the counter and anxiously taps her fingers on the surface. “I'm Dr. Lawson. Carolina Lawson.”
“Oh, yeah, of course!” She beams, sliding her glasses off and dropping them into her scrubs’ pocket. “Our brand new attending. Welcome, Carolina.”
“Just Nina is fine.”
“Okay, ‘just Nina’. I’m Dana Evans, Charge Nurse at this mess.” Her smile is warm and comforting. Nina feels like she could open up about her life’s story to this woman and she would listen with a knowing look on her face.
“It’s a pleasure, Dana. I’m sure you’re the backbone of this place.” Dana practically beams at the compliment. Nina hikes her bag high on her shoulder and glances around the ED. Everyone is moving. Everyone is busy. She’s itching to start working. “You know where I can find HR?”
“Sure thing.” Dana the nurse steps back from her place and leads Nina to one of the corners of the main space, pointing towards some doors. “Go through those doors, turn right, then left. Go up to the third floor and the signs should lead you right to it.”
“Thanks. Be right back.” Nina taps lightly at her thigh and makes her way down the hallway the woman indicated.
Jack Abbot is stepping out from the locker area at the same time Nina passes through the threshold. He does a double take, comically large eyes watching her go, trying to figure out if that woman is who he thinks she is.
He approaches Dana’s station still looking behind him. “Hey, who’s that?”
The chief nurse follows his gaze before turning back to him. “She’s our new day shift attending. Gonna help Robby out.”
“Yeah?” Abbot leads on, hoping he’ll hear what he wants to hear. Hoping to be sure that person is the one in his mind from all those months ago.
“Yeah. Dr. Nina Lawson. Think she came all the way from Cali.”
The recognition is instant.
Robby passes through the doors right at that moment, and the shit eating grin on Abbot’s face is the first thing he notices. It’s so big he can’t help but snicker. “What got you into a good mood at the end of your shift?”
“Jeez, buddy,” Abbot’s laugh is sarcastic as he passes by his friend and claps him on the shoulder a couple of times. “I’m just glad I’m going home. Hey, good luck to you today.”
“What is wrong with him? Did he hit his head or something?” Robby is confused as hell while watching Abbot leave, almost kicking his heels together out of joy. He approaches the station and places his bag down in his usual spot. The look he gives Dana isn’t anything short of puzzling.
“Don’t look at me like that, I don’t know what he’s on about.” Dana shrugs, picking up her glasses again and going back to arranging the patients on the board.
Robby adjusts the zipper on his hoodie and glances at the board. “What we got today?”
“50 something year old man with BP through the roof, labs still pending on South 15. Teen girl, coughing and fever waiting to go up for chest X-ray, North 10. Woman on South 3, flank pain, possibly kidney stones.” Dana rattles off patients and symptoms like an auction narrator. “And obviously the sweet old every day chaos.”
Glancing a bit more at the board, Robby begins to make his way towards one of the rooms. “Page CT to take this kidney stone, kindly remember them they owe me a favor.”
“Will do, boss.” Dana agrees and picks up the phone to do just so when she remembers something else. “Oh, the new attending is here today. Sorting out HR things, should be down any second.”
Robby’s groan is loud. Dana’s smile is amused.
“What, I thought we were severely understaffed and overworked?” The teasing tone on her voice doesn’t go unnoticed.
“We are. Both of those things.” He sighs and works his hands up to the nape of his head, pressing forward, groaning again. “Let me know when she gets down.”
He leaves it at that.
He is aware Dana is an incredibly perceptive person and probably can smell his bulshit from a mile away. The smirk on her face is proof of it. But he’s also eternally grateful that she knows when to leave him alone.
Deciding to postpone the rounds with his team for a few minutes in favor of the new attending joining them, Robby goes get some coffee.
Grateful is a word that doesn’t even begin to cover what he is for the help. They need it, the ED needs it, and if the hospital has the funds to hire a brand new top level doctor, Robby can surely start pressing about other money related issues. He wishes for Gloria to come hound him like pray so he can bring the topic up. Can’t wait to see her try and get out of that.
Wary. That’s what describes him best. He’s wary this new attending will have an ego the size of a mountain. If she’s gonna be butting heads with him in his every decision. They are technically at the same level, two attendings running a tight ship, but he has been there longer. That counts for something.
For some reason, his mind travels back to that day in October. That day. He hasn’t thought much about it, hasn’t talked about it with anyone but Jack. It was a one time thing with a woman from all the way across the country who he was never gonna see again. That was the gist of it. Why he let himself loose for the first time in years and allowed himself to just enjoy.
He shoves the feeling the thought resurfaces right back in its righteous corner in his mind. He can’t afford to be thinking about it, even if it was undoubtedly the best sex he ever had. No time to think about it now.
It’s no use. It keeps nagging him even as he weaves through nurses, residents and patients.
After some twists and turns and climbing a few sets of stairs, Nina finds herself in front of a little office space. The letters “HR” are plastered against the sign glued to the wall. She locates the name of the person who she’s supposed to see and knocks softly three times on the door.
Prompted by a quiet “come in” from inside the room, she walks in.
Sitting behind a white wooden desk is a kind looking woman. Her hair is wrapped tightly at the top of her hair and she has little wrinkles on the corner of her eyes, from smiling, not age. She looks like Nina's junior for at least 10 years.
Nina sits in the chair in front of the desk, smiling and nodding her head as the woman explains everything she needs to know, like where the locker area is, which one is hers and the code. Where she can get scrubs and how to return them in case it needs to be cleaned. She also clarifies about payment and shift scheduling, explaining that the latter is under the responsibility of the other physician attending.
“Have you met Dr. Robby yet?”
“No, I can’t say that I have.” Nina offers politely, impatiently waiting for this to be done. She needs to get on the floor. She needs to do something, anything, or she’s pretty sure she is going to explode.
“Oh, he’s an awesome person and doctor. You’re gonna love him.” The woman reassures her and Nina just nods.
After a few more minutes of explaining how things are run, she finally extends her badges to Nina. One is her card to access the computers, one is for some specific doors that need unlocking, another has the word “Doctor” printed in all caps and a green background, a little bigger than the others, and the last is her ID.
The breath gets knocked out from her lungs as she reads the name printed.
Carolina
Fletcher, MD
Attending Physician
Nina mulls it over for a few seconds before deciding to speak up. “Um, sorry. It says Fletcher, here. I’ve gone back to my maiden name recently. Lawson.”
“Oh, so sorry dear. Your file read Fletcher, so we went with that.” Nina offers an apologetic smile back at her apologies. “I’m already updating it on the system, but it takes a few days for your new badge to be ready. We’ll let you know when it is and you can come pick it up here. Could you spell it for me, please?”
“No problem. It’s…” Nina spells off her last name, staring intently at the little plastic card in her hands, eyes glued to the name. How can something so simple still hurt so deep?
She’s over Adam. Has been for a while, even before she filed for divorce. Even then, the name feels like a bruise you keep bumping over and over again until it starts bleeding. She had built a great part of her career on that name, had answered for it countless times, from patients and colleagues' mouths alike. Even from Adam himself. He had a knack for calling her “Mrs. Fletcher” when they were still in love.
God, that was so long ago.
After being released from that office with a “good luck” and that fucking badge, Nina almost races to the ED floor bathroom and locks herself in one of the stalls. Her hands find the cold, unforgiving wall and she rests her forehead against it. The chilly tile is harsh against her skin. She welcomes it.
Her heart is beating wildly in her chest. It feels like it’s gonna come up her throat. She can’t remember the last time she had such a bad reaction to anything. Being nervous is one thing, but being on the verge of a full blown panic attack is another.
Deep breath in, deep breath out.
Nina needs to find a new therapist ASAP.
“You’re fine. Get it together.” Nina whispers to herself, turning around and leaning her back on the wall. She takes one final breath and puts it behind her as best as she can. “You’re fine.”
She dresses herself in her black scrubs quietly, securing her tags against the collar with shaky hands. After shoving everything inside her bag, she steps out, walking past the mirror without a glance. If she catches a glimpse of her maybe pale face or her maybe untamed hair she’s actually gonna freak out.
Her badge is stuck tangled with the lanyard when she comes to the main area of the ED after shoving her bag in a locker and changing her shoes. She looks down, frustrated and trying to untangle it, but still walking without breaking stride, shoulders squared, already slipping into work-mode. New hospital. New city. Don’t trip. Don’t look lost.
Dana calls her over.
“Dr. ‘Just Nina’, glad to see you’re ready to join us in the circus.” Her hand makes a motion for her to approach. She does. There’s a male doctor coming from the opposite side and Dana calls for his attention too. “This is Dr. Robby, our other Attending Physician.”
Robby, mid-sip of his coffee, turns automatically. Habit. Muscle memory. He opens his mouth on autopilot. “Welcome to the Pitt, Dr. Fle–”
He sees her then. Wearing the hospital’s black scrubs, soft soft hair in a bun high on her head. Big eyes open wide.
The cup tilts. Coffee sloshes dangerously close to the rim.
He freezes.
Dead.
In.
His.
Tracks.
Nina skids to a stop like she’s hit an invisible wall. The last name, the one she’s been bracing herself to correct for hours, evaporates from her brain entirely. Her chest tightens. There’s no thought, just the sharp, electric recognition of him standing there in scrubs instead of denim, cowboy hat traded for messy hospital hair.
Of fucking course. Just her luck.
Robby stares at her like she’s a mirage. Or a bad joke. Or the universe actively laughing at him.
“...Oh. Nina.” he mutters, barely audible, like saying it too loud might make her disappear.
She swallows. Hard.
Dana’s gaze flicks between them, slow and delighted. A grin tugs at her mouth. “Wow,” she says lightly. “Okay. You two know each other or something?” she gestures between them.
Robby exhales, sharp and disbelieving.
Nina doesn’t answer. She just stares at him, heart pounding, thinking distantly that this hospital suddenly feels a lot smaller than it did five minutes ago.
then
Second and third rounds came and went and Nina can admit to just anybody in her general vicinity that she’s buzzed. And not from the wine glasses she’s used to chugging after especially bad shifts, but from drinks a cute guy is buying her at a bar.
She doesn’t think she’s ever put a sentence like that together. Ever.
Well, Michael isn’t just any cute guy, she doesn’t think. He’s funny, smart, and devastatingly handsome. There’s a bit of shame in the thought that has plagued her head a couple times since he came to sit at her booth, but her stomach flutters when she thinks he has a great face for sitting, with his big nose and all.
“What brings you to Pittsburgh, Nina?” Robby questions. He has one of his arms laying across the back of the booth, his fingertips centimeters from her bare shoulder from where her shirt slipped. He itches to touch her skin and find out if it really is as soft as it looks.
Nina takes a sip of their shared beer before answering. “Job interview.” She lets her eyes wander across the room because she doesn’t feel like explaining and the follow up question is definitely coming.
“What do you work with?”
Ah, there it is.
She’s about to answer, because she’s really enjoying this night and the excitement low in her belly (maybe it’s the alcohol, she isn’t sure) makes it hard to deny this man anything, when her eyes land on something.
There’s a group of people gathering near the front of the dance floor, arranging themselves in two neat lines, ready to start dancing any second, set up like a typical line dance. Not that she’s ever seen one in real life, country is not really her thing, but she knows movies.
The first notes of Good Time, by Alan Jackson, start playing. Nina’s smile is almost bigger than her face.
Robby knows he’s screwed when she turns said smile back to him, because there’s not any possibility in the world of him saying no to whatever comes out of her mouth next. Not when she looked so tired just an hour before and now looks this excited over something regarding him.
He would drink every last drop of it.
He still tries to snip it at the bud.”You dance?”
“Absolutely not.” Even though the answer is negative, her smile hasn’t faltered one bit.
“Good.” He says, just making sure. “Me neither.”
Before he can really realize what’s happening, Nina is shoving him out of the booth so she can stand next to it. Her touch sends an electric shock through his veins. He flops back down to the cushions.
A hand is thrust into his line of vision and he follows the arm back up to Nina’s face. “Come on, old man.” She wiggles her fingers at his face, waiting for him to place his hand in hers. “It’ll be fun. I promise.”
Robby raises his brows. His lips betray the rest of his face and display an amused smile. “I don’t remember agreeing to this when I sat down for a drink.”
Nina grins at him. “You’re wearing the hat. You’re legally obligated, I think.”
“Who said so?” Robby asks, liking the challenge more than he cared to admit.
“I don’t know. It’s just the rules.” Nina’s shrug raises her shoulders up to the tip of her earrings, making them dangle.
He sighs. “If I dislocate something, I’m blaming you.”
“I would care for your dislocated shoulder if you ended up in my ER, grandpa.” It’s an offhand comment, so Robby doesn’t pay much attention to it. He’s distracted staring at her backside, very not gentleman-like, while she leads him through the crowd.
In retrospect, he should’ve listened and asked about it. It would save him from a lot of embarrassment in a few months.
If only he knew that then.
He lightly squeezes her hand, which is indeed very soft, despite the few scars he makes a note to ask about later, and she turns her head back, still tugging him forward. She smiles like a kid planning something mischievous.
His eyes drift lower again. Involuntary, he swears. Her hips sway from side to side with such elegance it would actually be rude of him not to watch. She’s putting in a show for him.
Robby’s heart gallops inside his chest.
Nina feels his watchful gaze and smirks. He’s seconds away from noticing the little surprise peeking from the waistband of her shorts. His grip tightens around her hand when he does.
“Is that what I think it is?” He snickers and she just nods her head, not bothering to look back. She is pretty sure she can picture his surprised face in her mind. “When did you get it?”
“Drunk night out in college.” Nina replies, voice full of pride.
A thin black tattoo curves along her lower back, centered on a small, angular heart. From it, sharp lines spread outward on both sides towards her hips, symmetrical and thorned, like abstract wings framing the shape.
It’s not that big of a tattoo, but it still is a tramp stamp in all its glory.
Adam used to hate it. Suggested she tried laser removal once. Michael seems to be in awe.
Nina clocks that second how good it is to feel wanted only for who she is again. It’s an addictive feeling. She needs more.
When they get to the dance floor, the chorus is already kicking in. They take place at the back of the group and Nina knows instantly this was a mistake. Everyone around them seems to know exactly where their feet are supposed to go. Nina doesn’t. Robby doesn’t, either. They are a half-beat behind from the start, mirroring each other’s confusion with alarming precision.
“Is it step-kick or kick-step?” Nina asks, feeling flustered.
Robby squints at the floor like it might give him answers. “I think it’s… neither. I think we’re just wrong.”
They collide on the turn, bumping into each other, both of them laughing too hard for people who had only known one another for a few hours. Robby stabilizes her with a hand on her waist.
Nina misses a step entirely and tries to recover by copying the woman in front of her, only to realize the woman had already turned around.
“I don’t understand the footwork.” She says, laughing, carefree.
Robby tries to mirror the people in front of him, fails immediately. “Why are they clapping now?”
“I think we missed a step.” Nina says. “Or five.”
They’re terrible. Visibly, objectively bad, but it stops mattering. Nina laughs until her sides hurt. Robby gives up trying to follow along and just moves, loose and unguarded in a way she hasn’t seen yet. In a way he hasn’t done in what feels like years. If Abbot comes asking him about it, he’s blaming the drinks. Definitely not this siren-like woman who seems to be doing witchcraft on him.
When the song finally ends, they’re breathless and grinning like they survived something together. Like they’re trauma bond.
Nina wipes sweat from her forehead with the back of her hand. “I need air.” She announces. “And a cigarette.”
She makes her way towards the door before he has a chance to answer, leaving Robby standing on the dance floor alone. He moves to the side when another song starts and goes and tries to find Jack against the crowd.
When he finally spots his friend, he’s by the bar, in a different place than Robby left him, tediously scrolling through his phone.
“Jesus, man. Thought you’d been kidnapped.” Abbot laughs when he sees his friend approaching, notices the slight skip in his step. “Are you drunk, Dr. Robinavitch?”
“Yeah, a little.” Robby admits, sitting on the next stool over.
“Night must be going pretty good then.” Abbot teases, amused.
“Yeah, it is.” He nods and sighs, pressing the heels of his hands against his eyes before picking up again. “Look, if you wanna go…”
“Oh, look at him! Ditching the ‘bros before hoes’ code!” Jack fakes outrageness, snickering silently under his breath. “Shen would be disappointed.”
“Shen would be through the fucking roof and you know it.”
“Yeah, well. What can we say? It’s refreshing to see you do something other than run yourself into the ground in that fucking hospital.” Abbot shrugs playfully and stands, placing a few bills on the counter to pay for his last drink.
Robby watches the movement, something in the back of his mind making him second guess himself. He’d only know Nina for, what? A couple of hours? This is so not like you, buddy, his mind echoes.
“Don’t start with this shit you do. You’re having fun.” Abbot wiggles a finger around his friend’s face, placing his phone in the front pocket of his cargo pants. “The world can handle a few hours without Dr. Michael Robinavitch at its disposal.”
Abbot clips him in the shoulder once, tight lipped smile, raised eyebrows, as if saying you better fucking enjoy this rare moment. Robby watches as he makes his way outside, disappearing from his point of view.
An old man grunt escapes his lips as he stands, but he doesn’t let it faze him while he makes his way towards the side door Nina had escaped to.
He doesn’t let himself think much about it. No place for regrets right now. Tomorrow is another story. He’ll cross that bridge when he comes to it.
The night is way cooler than she expected, the noise from inside dulling to a distant thrum as the door swings shut behind her. Nina leans against the brick wall and fishes a cigarette out of her bag with practiced ease. The first drag settles her, lungs burning, shoulders dropping.
Her thoughts scatter all around the place, her mind fuzzy and trying to piece things together. Hey, you remember Olivia? The friend you came here with? Yeah, that Olivia!
“Fuck!” With the cigarette dangling from her lips, smoke curling out of its end, Nina fumbles to get her phone out of her pocket.
The screen comes to life with the frantic movement and the notifications greet her like a swift punch to the gut. There’s one missed call from Adam, then two, then three. Some Instagram follow suggestions. A reminder from her flying company that her check-in is in less than 24 hours. She swipes all of those away with practiced ease. She’s used to ignoring things until they please her.
The next one is from her conversation with Olivia.
Liv: just so you know, i went home
Liv: saw you with hot cowboy hat guy, didn’t want to interrupt
Liv: if you need anything or if he’s a creep, just call me
Liv: if not, enjoy yourself. you deserve it
The last text is just an eggplant emoji. Nina chuckles, typing off a quick thank you. She just put her phone away and is exhaling some smoke when the door opens.
Robby steps out, scanning the sidewalk until he spots her. He hesitates for half a second, like he isn’t sure if he’s allowed to be there, then joins her.
The brunette eyes off his movements and leans the cigarette in his direction when he rests his back against the wall next to her. He declines with a polite shake of his head.
“Those things will kill you, you know?”
“I know.”
They stay silent for a few seconds, Nina busy smoking, and Robby busy watching her smoke. He’s entranced by the pursing of her lips around the cig, by her long fingers holding it, by how her throat moves when she exhales.
She breaks the silence first.
“You always this bad at dancing?”
Robby snorts, caught off guard by her question. “Shockingly, yes. Years of training. Natural talent.”
She smiles, eyes fixated on a spot across the street. “Good to know. Was worried I’d embarrass myself alone.”
Nina lets her head flop to the side, and watches him watch her. He looks even more handsome in the soft glow of the street’s lamp post. His beard seems more full, his eyes more shiny, his hat more defiant.
Feeling a surge of bravery course through her system, Nina stubs her cigarette against the wall, flicks it to the smoker’s pole a few feet away from them and stops in front of him, basically cornering him. They match in height, which helps Nina look straight into his dark brown eyes. She takes about one full second before throwing caution to the wind.
Robby’s breath gets caught in his throat when her hand comes up near his face. He watches how the sleeve of her shirt delicately slips down her arm, revealing yet another small tattoo. This one is a little dragonfly placed just above the crease of her arm. He again files it away to ask about later.
He lets his eyes drift lower, and he can see now, against the light coming from the street, that her shirt is kinda see through. The silhouette of her waist and rib cage and breasts is visible. She seems soft all round. Robby wants to touch her so bad he has to shove his hands in his pockets.
Fingers wrapping around the brim of his hat bring his eyes back to Nina’s face. Her own eyes are dripping with something really close to desire, fixed right at his.
He stares back at her as she swiftly lifts it clean off his head like it’s hers by right, settles it onto her curls with a little tilt that’s pure confidence, daring him to say something.
Robby smirks. Two can play this game. He steps closer. Too close. He can smell her: sweat, smoke, something citrus underneath.“You know what they say, yeah?”
Nina’s throat is suddenly very dry, even though she was the one who initiated this whole thing. “What do they say?”
His voice is an octave lower when he answers. “Wear the hat, ride the cowboy.”
A little smile tugs at her lips. “Well, if that’s what they say… who am I to go against it?”
That’s it. Whatever restraint he had snaps clean in half.
Robby’s hand comes up fast, fingers sliding behind her neck, grip firm, brushing skin that’s already hot. He doesn’t ask. Doesn’t hesitate. He kisses her like he’s sick of wanting to, like he’s been meaning to do it since she walked away from the bar.
It’s hard. Messy. Their mouths collide, teeth knocking just slightly, breath catching as she makes a soft, surprised sound and then kisses him back just as fiercely. She presses into him, the brim of the hat bumping his forehead, her hands grabbing at his shirt like she needs leverage.
She crowds him back a step without thinking, his back bumping against the wall, bodies flush, heat everywhere. His thumb digs into the base of her skull, grounding, possessive. The kiss deepens, slower now but heavier, like neither of them is willing to be the first to pull away.
When they break apart, it’s only because they have to breathe.
She stays right there, lips swollen, cheeks red from his beard, chest rising and falling fast. The hat is still on her head, a little crooked now.
Robby laughs under his breath, his head dropping back to rest on the wall behind him. “Yeah,” he mutters. “That’s… not what I expected.”
She smiles sharp and satisfied. “Liar.”