Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Uneven stone met her boots as she stepped over the body of the bald man who felt the need to challenge her for existing in his vicinity. She’d be lying if she said she didn’t take pleasure in being the one to turn up dirt over his corpse. As she moved towards the man who yielded the knife, his irradiated face twisted in pride. Her eyes revealed nothing aside from direction.

“Goodneighbor is of the people, for the people, you feel me?”

She glanced to her left and scoffed.

“That definitely worked out the first time around, huh?”

Her voice barely a mumble. The ghoul who introduced himself as Mayor Hancock laughed.

“I can tell I’m gonna like you already. Just consider this town your home away from home. S’long as you remember who’s in charge.” He said, shifting his weight as he holstered the knife coated with fresh blood. She rolled her shoulders in an attempt to fight the oncoming feelings of dissociation.

“How could I forget? That hat screams authority.”

The mayor laughed again, but her face remained unchanged as she continued forward along the alleyway.

“Going to have to keep my eye on that one.” He muttered, turning around and entering the Old State House.

Averting her eyes left to right, then back again, she slowly scanned the town as it opened up to her. The Wastes’ usual dirty, metallic smell was especially strong here. Her eyes darted towards the ground as a large puff of steam erupted from a grate in the pavement.

The subway.

She quickly glanced up and saw the letters ‘SCOLLAY SQ” above a damaged marquee. Her heart began to race as she recalled what this area used to be. Rather inelegantly, she backed herself up onto the wall opposite the entrance of what used to be the subway and remained still. Her head felt like it was about to fall clean off her neck.

Her hands began to shake as she noticed the makeshift sign above the metal door.

The Third Rail?

“You running from something?” A rustic voice spoke at her side. She remained unmoved despite her heart leaping into her throat. Before she could respond, the man, who held a submachine gun against his torso, continued on. “Welcome home.”

The irony of that statement made her want to punch her fist straight through his face. Instead, she began to take slow, deliberate breaths, in an attempt to regulate herself.

“What’s down there?” She finally spoke, her glossy eyes unmoving from the sign.

“Huh? Oh, The Third Rail? That’s the bar.”

She launched herself off of the wall and approached it.

“Stay out of tr—“, the door slammed behind her before the guard could finish.

Exhaling a deep breath, she could see it materialize in the air in front of her. Descending the stairs, the first two landings were dark, and the sounds of emptiness reverberating against the concrete walls made her head feel like it was going to explode. Continuing down the third set of stairs, she began to hear a woman’s voice overtaking the emptiness. When she saw her, she paused. The woman’s body was cloaked in a dress as red as the blood she’s seen spilled over and over again, with sequins that reflected off the overhead lights in a way that made her feel like she was either in a dream, or underwater. Somehow, watching the woman sing while gingerly touching the microphone reassured her, and her head didn’t feel so heavy for a moment. She continued forward until she found a seat at the bar.

“What’ll it be?” Said the Mr. Handy stationed behind it. His unique English accent caught her off guard, but when she looked up, she saw the Union Jack plastered on the frame of his body and the comically small top hat on his head.

“Uh… beer.” She said, hands fidgeting against the splintered wood. A man who was sitting to her right stared at her relentlessly.

“Two caps.”

Scrambling in her pockets, she pulled out ten and slid them across the counter.

“Keep them coming. Please.”

The robot hummed as it began to move down the bar. She immediately slammed her drink, causing the robot to break his line of action and revert to supply her with another. Making it through halfway of that one in an instant, she stopped to breathe, then belch. As she gathered herself, she suddenly felt the eyes of the man sitting next to her. Slowly cranking her neck to her right, she looked up at him through her bangs.

It was another bald one. Great.

He smiled and revealed horribly stained, mismatched teeth. He began to say something, and a string of spit stretched between his upper and bottom lips. Before she could think, she was seething, and her anxious tremors ceased.

“Can I fucking help you?” She asked, body tensing. Her fingers immediately met the knife tucked against her left leg. The man’s expression fell into an unflattering slump as he began to stand.

“Eh, guess not,” he replied, casually dumping the remainder of his glass onto her leg. “Whoops.”

She raised her mouth in a snarl and removed the knife, then stood from her chair in a flash and yanked her arm backwards, ready to stab him in the throat. As she did, a guard stationed at the door drew his gun and pointed it, not at him, but at her. Her widened eyes burned back at him as she lowered her arm and sat down again.

This place must be like another Diamond City; there must be some level of consequences here, otherwise this ragtag group of people wouldn’t all be sitting in the same room together.

'Whatever,' she thought.

She grabbed her fourth drink and stood from the bar, finally feeling like she could breathe without her chest closing in on itself. Slowly circling the tables around her, she shamelessly observed every single person occupying the space. Some human. Many, ghoul. All of them with some sort of vice in their hands.

Two men, one dressed in distressed green military fatigues and the other wearing skin-tight pants, a set of metal armor over his chest and nothing else, walked towards a hallway on the other end of the bar. ‘V.I.P.’ was scrawled above the open doorway. Her eyes widened as she stifled a laugh. What in the actual fuck was that guy wearing? And where were they going? V.I.P.? Was this place a strip club, too? There weren’t any guards over there. Who’s this very important person and how much did they pay for some private Chippendales?

Fuck it.

Quietly following, she tucked her half-empty bottle of beer beneath her arm and lit a cigarette.

“Can’t say I’m surprised to find you in a dump like this, MacCready,” one of the strangers said, sounding like he had rocks in his throat. She tucked herself against the wall and continued to eavesdrop, making eye contact with a male mannequin that was placed in the corner of the hall. She threw her right forearm up as if she were about to chop it in half and glared into its plastic face.

“I was wondering how long it would take for your bloodhounds to track me down, Winlock,” said another voice, immediately catching her attention. “It’s been almost three months,” he continued with a sarcastic chuckle. “Should we take this outside?”

Without thinking, she peaked her head around the corner to see who was talking. She couldn’t see past the fully-clothed man so she decided to enter the room and watch from a closer distance.

“It ain’t like that. I’m just here to deliver a message.”

For a man so eager to show his biceps, he sure avoided using them.

What a joke.

“In case you forgot, I left the Gunners for good.” Said the other man, who was sitting in a chair before them. She still couldn’t see him so she shifted to the left. The man in green fatigues heard her shuffle and turned his head towards her. She stared him down as he did, taking a long draw from her cigarette.

Go ahead.

He turned away.

“Yeah, I heard. But you’re still taking jobs in the Commonwealth. That ain’t gonna work for us.”

The third man stood from his chair, and she could finally see him now. The first thing she noticed were his tattered clothes; his jacket only had one sleeve, and the bottom of it was torn to Hell. He also wore a green long-sleeve underneath, and a marine corps utility hat to match. Two .50 caliber bullets laid tucked into the band around the top of the brim. 

Though most of his face was shadowed by his hat, she could clearly see his eyes were intensely focused forward as he stared down the men in front of him. 

He spoke.

“I don’t take orders from you. Not anymore. So why don’t you take your girlfriend and get out of here while you still can.”

Broken from her thoughts, she laughed out loud before she could stop it. All three men faced her now, the two closest to her looking particularly offended.

“This isn’t any of your business, lady,” said, who she gathered to be, Winlock.

“No shit, Sherlock,” she replied, pleased with herself and her wordplay, whether or not any of them would understand it. The pair tensed up and she noticed Winlock’s partner reaching towards his gun.

She left her cigarette hanging from her lips, held her drink in her left hand, and quickly drew her pistol, pointing it square into his face. Winlock pulled out his own while the man with half a jacket took a step back and grabbed the top of a rifle propped up against his chair.

She didn’t say a word as she remained in place. She was still as stone.

A moment passed before the silence was broken.

“You know this guy?” Biceps said, gesturing towards MacCready.

“None of your business, pretty boy,” she responded, unblinking. “I don’t appreciate your little buddy over here thinking about pulling a gun on me. Where’s your fucking manners?” She continued, becoming more and more irritated by the second. She glanced at MacCready, who had been staring at her. She smirked. “Besides, Sherlock, you don’t want to keep Hancock waiting, do ya? Judging by your getup, he must be expecting you for some late-night entertainment.”

MacCready chuckled to himself while Winlock pulled his gun up and to the right, seemingly gearing up to pistol-whip her.

“Ah, ah, ah!” She yelled quickly, gesturing towards the guard at the other end of the building. Winlock fumed with embarrassment as his partner finally spoke up.

“Winlock, tell me we don’t have to put up with this shit.”

Winlock grimaced in frustration and turned back towards MacCready while finally holstering his gun.

“Look, the only reason we haven’t filled your body full of bullets is that we don’t want a war with Goodneighbor. See, we respect other people’s boundaries. We know how to play the game.” He glanced back at the woman who was putting out her cigarette on the floor. She rolled her eyes and backed herself against the wall again. “It’s something you and that whore never learned.”

She raised two fingers in a mock salute and nodded once.

“Glad to have disappointed you,” MacCready sneered, returning to his chair.

“You can play the tough guy all you want. But if we hear you’re still operating inside Gunner territory, all bets are off. You got that?”

“You finished?”

“Yeah, we’re finished,” said Winlock, turning towards the doorway. He stopped in front of her one last time and put himself an inch in front of her face. She turned her head to the side to take another drink. “And you, bitch. If I see you out there,” he breathed on her neck, and she grit her teeth. “You’re mine.”

She shoved him off and moved towards MacCready, wiping an invisible stain off of her neck.

“Yeah, whatever, prick. Run along.” Green Fatigues made a point to tap his sidearm with two fingers before pointing said fingers in the direction of her forehead. Bored, she further entered the room, now interested in the V.I.P. himself.

“That was some display, Hotshot,” MacCready commented, filling his glass from a bottle of vodka. He looked her once over, finally getting a better view of her face now that Barnes and Winlock were out of his way. Her skin was pale and relatively clean. She had a scar above her left eye that laid hidden behind a wall of choppy red hair. Her eyes were circled black and she wore leather clothing and armor from head to toe. A pack of cigarettes peaked out from a small satchel she had tied around her hip.

“Yeah. So, MacCready? Is it?”

“Yeah. Look….”

Chapter Text

“If you’re preaching about the Atom or looking for a friend, I’m not the one. You need a gun at your side, I’m two-hundred caps a job. Non-negotiable.” He lowered the cup to his side, glaring up at her with apprehensive eyes. His icy stare seemed to meet the middle of her forehead. She smirked at his words.

“Everything’s negotiable, don’t you think?” she mused, finally giving him a hearty once-over. Binoculars and extra ammunition were tied around his waist and thigh, respectively. By the time her eyes travelled back up to his face, she found him glaring at her.

“Hardly,” he replied before going cold again. She sighed dramatically.

“Well, MacCready, at this point I’ve got more than one thing going on. I’ll gladly take your services for the first job, at the very least. You feel like sticking around after, well, I’ve got ways to get you caps. A lot of them.” She said, waiting for him to look her in the eyes for longer than a second. Aside from shifting eyes, he didn't move.

This mother-fucker is unrelenting.

“If not, we can discuss this one time thing.”

Still, nothing. He was acting particularly blasé and it was starting to get under her skin. As a result, she decided to work an angle. Play the game, so-to-speak. Two-hundred years couldn’t change the male ego, right? The previous ten-thousand or so never did.

She set her beer down and tied her hair back into a loose bun, happy to get the mess off her neck. She put her hands on the side table next to the chair where he was sitting and leaned down towards him, attempting to force eye contact.

“Though it seems to me you might be looking for an out, hm?”

“Excuse me?” He said, eyeing her like she offended him. She laughed while standing upright, grabbing her drink and gesturing loosely towards the room with the hand holding the bottle.

“I heard all that mess. You’ve got two macho fucks on your ass about some rudimentary territory bullshit that means absolutely fuck all in the grand scheme of things.”

He goes to stand now, and met her at exactly eye-level.

“Am I wrong?” she said with a smirk.

“Oh, territory b.s., huh? You ever run into one of their bases while you’re prancing around the Commonwealth?”, he asked, taking a half step closer to her. “Not exactly your common nest of Bloatflies.”

“I’m sorry,” she says, lifting her hands up and continuing to laugh, pleased to see her angle was working. “But I know how men work, even if I’m unfamiliar with… whoever the fuck those tools were.” She rolled her eyes, picturing Biceps.

MacCready laughed sarcastically and shook his head in an attempt to let her comments roll off of his back. In any other set of circumstances, he would have picked up his gun and walked out faster than she could light another cigarette. But, here he was, undeniably too focused on a possible work proposition that could get him paid, fed, and out from under the scope of the Gunners who are just waiting for him to step one unaccompanied foot out of Goodneighbor. He took a step back and listened to her continue.

“You want an excuse to stay busy and paid while avoiding that shit? Or should I slide you my tab and say goodbye?” she said, finishing with a smirk on her face. He can’t help but to scoff.

The audacity of this woman wasn't enough to deter him from what he knew his current circumstances to be, and how, if she were telling the truth, her offer could be helpful to him. In the end, his responsibilities came before his pride.

“Sure. But what about you, how do I know I won’t end up with a bullet in my back?” He asked, his deep-rooted self-preservation kicking in. MacCready was many things, but he wasn't a fool.

A sack of caps crashed onto the side table next to him, breaking him out of his thoughts as he instinctively reached down for it.

“Four-hundred to start. Double your asking price.” His hand stopped and he looked at her, bewildered. “That’s how you know."

With a lowered voice, she meets his eyes with a clarified intensity he hadn’t seen on another person in quite a while. “You look pathetic and I’m feeling generous.”

She tossed her empty beer bottle into the nearby trash bin and crossed her arms. With the heaviest look of skepticism in her eyes, she glared at him. He glared back as his hands rolled into fists.

One more insult and I’m done.

“I’m aware you could take that and run. I’m not stupid. But that’ll last you less than two weeks, I’m sure, judging by how you look.”

Damn it.

“You want more, I’m ready to supply it, so long as you stick with me. I don’t have time to fuck around.”

He looked at her with an empty glare, reeling himself in even further than he knew he could be capable of. The money and what it could do for him simply meant too much.

“Count on it,” he said, failing to blink once as he took another drink, making sure to stare her down just as intently as she did him. “…Boss.”

Chapter Text

MacCready spent the night drifting in and out of consciousness in the V.I.P. room. The empty hours came and went until the time finally neared five o’ clock, marked by the sun beginning to set. Although that wired redhead with the white teeth didn’t give him a specific time to meet back up, he felt confident she meant near sundown, or soon after. To cover his ass, he parked himself at the end of Charlie’s bar at four p.m. sharp.

He had already finished a drink by the time a figure dominated his left peripheral vision out of nowhere, making no effort to maintain a decent amount of distance.

MacCready rolled his neck and braced himself for whatever was coming his way.

“Two rounds,” she said, fingers up in the eyesight of the one camera eye not looking down towards the mixed drinks he was making for Magnolia and her arm for the night. Charlie acknowledged with a mechanical whir as he maneuvered towards a cooler full of longnecks with a separate set of arms. She slapped her knees with both hands with a borderline maniacal grin and chuckled. “See, this is why mankind continued in its pursuit of exponentially advancing technology,” she said, sliding a beer towards MacCready while opening her own. “Expedited bar service with little to no staff to pay!” She clinked her bottle against his and took a hefty swig.

MacCready stared at her for a moment, mouth slightly agape. He began to question whether or not she was legitimately crazy, then remembered the amount of caps she lazily threw his way and concluded that she was either beyond help, or some kind of experienced genius with an angle, and at this point, he couldn’t even begin to tell himself to run; there was far too much on the line to give much of a damn.

He looked at her with an expectant expression, waiting for her to continue her rant. When she didn’t, he almost immediately became impatient, and couldn't hold himself back from letting her know.

“You, uh, going to cut the chatter and let me know exactly what it is I’m signing myself up for now? Or are you just going to keep reminding me that I’m broke and desperate?” He said, turning the bottle upwards against his mouth.

This was turning into a long eighteen hours and he was beginning to question whether or not the aching pain in his gut was starvation or nerves.

“Surely you know I can’t trust you,” she finally said, and he nearly choked on his drink from laughter.

“No, really? And I thought all that grilling was because you liked me.” He rolled his eyes and set the bottle down with a light thud.

"But, I’m… I need help“ she pauses, looking up and down the mercenary’s face once with a slight air of guilt in her eyes. She suddenly exuded such seriousness that it almost took the wind out of him, but he didn’t move; after her display last night, he enjoyed watching her sink into herself.

Instead of insulting her like he was tempted to do, he simply adjusted his eyes towards her and waited for her to continue.

“For all I know I’m after one of the strongest mercenaries this side of the Commonwealth has seen in decades. Then again…” she stops herself from saying something to the effect of she ‘wouldn’t know the difference’. She attempted to shake the nerves out of herself as she feigned focus. “Either way, I’m heading into unfamiliar territory, hunting a… killer… who is probably working for something bigger than I know about... and, uh…” she rasps, biting her lip and letting her right knee bounce against the bottom leg of the bar stool she’s been holding down with her hand this entire time. “I’m desperate. I need help. I’ve got maps, I’ve got some leads, I’ve got some friends— well, acquaintances at least— who know quite a bit about what I’m looking for but don’t have the ability to follow me into the thick of it.” Her words come out of her like air from a deflating balloon- scattered, quick, exacerbated, and increasingly loud. “I’ve got supplies and caps and food, even medicine, I’ve even…”

“Okay, stop, stop, stop, you’re starting to give me a goddamn headache," MacCready said, rubbing his right temple with his fingers. "I would’ve already agreed to, whatever you’ve got going on, before you paid me two-hundred plus upfront, without my asking, by the way.” He said, making a deliberate point about their current standing and attempting to gain a one-up on her. He’s not as stupid as she assumes he is. “So please just get to the damn details before I blow my fu— blow my brains out.”

Her face flatlined and she sighed, hard.

“Fine.”

MacCready’s forehead wrinkled in confusion after she fell silent, yet again. His expression said what he refused to say out loud.

After a solid minute, she began to speak.

“I mean, thank you. I mean, what I mean to say, I need help with...” she shook her head, trying to gather herself while attempting to punch down the growing anxiety swelling in her chest. Suddenly, and all over again, she found herself having to make her mouth express the details of what it is she’s been dealing with ever since she woke up in this new Hell, to another stranger in this strange world. It had been a long three weeks of wandering, acclimation, and downright suffering, and only by a string of events facilitated by sheer dumb luck was she still alive in the first place. Her goals kept her focused enough to keep moving forward despite it all, but that wasn’t always enough. Sometimes she'd become so overwhelmed that she’d start scratching at the skin of her face or punching walls, because there was no reason for any of this, none of it made sense, and it is nearly impossible to work through while alone and fighting to survive one day at a time.

And now, she had a man she just threw half of her available caps at staring her down in the middle of this crowded, dank bar, expecting to be told what it is she’s paying him for, which may or may not require her to divulge her greatest turmoil to date.

“If we could just…” she breathed out, rubbing two fingers against her left temple, suddenly feeling hotter than she did a minute ago. Her head snapped towards the other end of the bar and she glared at Magnolia who was sensually guffawing into a man’s neck. Meanwhile, the buzzing of Charlie’s arms alongside his fire-propelled boosting system that sounded like the biggest, hottest fan ever made flooded her head like a swelling bruise, on top of the chatter of the casual bar folk, obnoxious laughter, and the distant crinkle of a radio not properly tuned yet properly forgotten about making her suddenly see nothing but static fuzz and the color red in her mind's eye—

Suddenly her right arm felt tight, and she realized she was being pulled towards a rear exit away from the crowd, sounds diminishing the further she went. Despite her blurred vision, she was able to gather he had grabbed her and was leading her away from where she was. To her own surprise, she didn’t fight it, and before she knew it they were standing outside, in the quiet, sun freshly set with the slight chill of fall brushing through. She stared at him, somewhat shaken, fighting off a feeling of embarrassment. The changes she felt were immediate, once the stimulation calmed and cool air hit her skin.

“Uh. I’m sorry,” she said quietly, staring blankly ahead of herself. She didn’t have the time or energy to mentally punish herself for letting that happen.

MacCready stared at her, a deadpan expression on his face. “You looked pathetic and I was feeling generous.”

Mortified, she snapped her head towards him while her face ran hot. She turned her head back just as quickly and sighed; her attempts at playing infallible tough guy with this man lasted less than a day.

After a moment, she scoffed at nothing other than herself.

“I suppose I deserve that. Surely you understand why I talked to you that way yesterday,” she said, folding her arms as she pushed her backside against the wall, tilting her head back and breathing deeply. He brought his gaze back from a black bird perched atop the building adjacent from them and met her eyes, which felt considerably less charged now.

“I have an idea,” he teased, letting her marinate in her feelings about it, but only for a moment. She remained silent, only seeming to breathe and rub her arms. “Couldn’t have been because you wanted to figure out whether or not you could trust me, right?” She cocked an eyebrow as he continued. “Nah, maybe you’re just a psycho who likes to pay premium to verbally abuse strangers.”

She laughed once, rather loudly, feeling genuinely surprised by his observation. He was right, and it left her feeling peculiar. She nodded her head in respectable defeat.

“See, you’ve got it figured out," she said, looking towards the ground.

Somehow, her sense of humor reassured him, but only slightly. While he was talented at maintaining composure in most circumstances, he was no stranger to what shot nerves looked like and the possible long-term effects they can have on a human. Her little episode in one of the safest bars in the Commonwealth worried him. How much work would it be to look out for this chick? And she’s pursuing a merc more notorious than him?

Beginning to feel like this may be a disaster in the making, he wasn’t about go on much longer without making a point of it.

“So, uh, do you normally freeze up like that? You gonna get me killed out there?” he asked, crossing his arms and eyeing her intently. Her smile immediately fell.

“Fuck… no. No, I don’t,” she said with a sigh, clear shame written across her face. MacCready simply nodded suspiciously and stayed silent, letting her continue.

“When the pressures really on me I get shit done, and done right. This kind of bullshit doesn’t happen." She paused, struggling to decide whether or not she wanted to divulge what she said next. "But... sometimes, when I'm in-between letting my guard down and keeping it up, shit starts to short-circuit and I, just... I... struggle, a bit more than normal. Only ever happens when I’m in one of these populated towns with all these sounds constantly going on. I prefer the quiet. Easier, too, sensing danger that way.” Her head hung low by the time she was done talking; divulging such details made her want to crawl out of her skin. MacCready nodded, and she avoided his sharp eyes.

An awkward moment hung between them until a ghoul couple walked out of the door they had just come out of, passing them suspiciously as all four exchanged looks in silence.

Resigning herself to what she knew her next move had to be, she lifted her head and looked towards MacCready, who appeared to be zoning out.

“I’ve got a room for another night at the Rexford. I was hoping we could debrief there, away from all these fine folk, if that’s alright with you,” she said, moving her hand into her satchel to grab her cigarettes. She gestured the pack towards him and he nodded, grabbing one, then moving his own lighter up to light hers while she puts the pack away. The flow of the exchange was seamless, but neither acknowledged it. “I meant to say all this before I went all headcase on you back there,” she said, staring at a crack in the wall in front of her. He chuckled and nodded again.

“Works for me. It’d be nice to not worry about any eyes on me for a night,” he said, without much thought. She smirked and zipped up her jacket, feeling the breeze more intensely now as the night dragged on.

“Is that your way of inviting yourself over for the night?” she teased, unable to help herself. This guy was practical and guarded, sure, but something about him was familiar to her. She couldn't quite place it and didn't read too far into it, but it did allow her to feel confident in being a smart ass.

MacCready's eyes widened in sheer embarrassment as a strange feeling moved through his gut. She was amused by this, and he stumbled in his reply as the invisible score above their heads, once again, read 1-0, favoring her.

“No, God no, I just figured since, you know, uh…” he stammered, struggling to find the words he needed to say, a problem he usually did not have.

She cut him off, almost feeling guilty for making the joke.

“I’m kidding, man, I’m kidding,” she laughed, grabbing a small collection of bottlecaps from her pocket and putting them in his hand. He almost jumped at the sudden touch, still reeling from his verbal blunder. She had noticed, and it made him feel like shit.

2-0.

“Here, get yourself something to eat,” she said, allowing herself to look at his face steadily, feeling emboldened by the alcohol. Cute, she thought.

He looked down at the caps, noting her fingers for the first time before they slipped back into her pockets. Her nails were black. She continued. “Consider it payback for saving my pride back there," she said, gesturing her head towards the building.

2-1?

“Whenever you’re ready, top floor, in the back, last on the right.”

She stomped on her cigarette and started to turn towards Main Street. He watched her in silence as her hair swayed in the wind, brushing repeatedly along her leather-encased arms and shoulders. When she lifted her head to look at him, she was smiling.

“Don’t make me wait too long, yeah?” she said, looking up and down his tall, slender frame one more time. 

His eyes narrowed as another intense, unplaceable feeling moved through his gut. After a beat, he nodded in compliance.

“Roger that, Boss.”

~

MacCready took a steady breath before lifting his hand to the door and knocking on it.

“Who is it?”

“The milkman. It’s MacCready, who do you think?”

The door creaked open just enough as she ignored his stupid joke, returning to the desk she was sitting at where a pile of papers, a 10mm, and a lit cigarette took up the surface. She pulled her right knee up under her chin while her left leg was folded beneath her. MacCready closed the door behind him and locked it, hand lingering on the doorknob.

“Go ahead and sit,” she said, gesturing to the bed placed directly beside the desk. “Help yourself to whatever.”

She seemed considerably more focused now, without much room to banter with if he wanted to. He turned his attention to a side table with some food and drinks on it. Finally moving away from the door, he grabbed a bottle of beer from beside her, then sat on the bed and cranked it open. As he took a small sip, he suddenly felt just how small the room was.

Waiting for her to speak made his ears ring.

“So, uh.. those details you wanted to talk about?” He reminded her, tempted to make another snarky comment.

“Oh, yeah, uh..” she shuffled a few papers around and pulled out a faded map covered in light circles. He leaned forward and looked at it, finding Goodneighbor near the right hand of center, then another, significantly larger and darker circle on the complete other end of the map.

“I’ve talked to Valentine in Diamond City. You know him?” she asked. He opened his mouth to respond, but she continued talking before he could. “I didn’t know where to begin with all this shit so I sought him out, uh, naturally. Detective and all. Anyway, he, uh…”

MacCready’s eyes darted back and forth across the table, searching the papers on the desk for any form of context whatsoever, context she was failing to give. Her words continued to flow in regardless, rattling his brain with possibilities.

“He thinks we know who we’re looking for.” She sighed, fighting hard to separate business from emotion. It took everything in her to focus and continue.

Acknowledging any of this means acknowledging the fact her son may be in the hands of the bastard who shot her husband in the face. Nevermind the fact she was talking about this to a complete fucking stranger who probably wouldn’t give a shit.

She felt sick.

She rolled her shoulders and reached for another drink.

“His name is Kellogg,” She says, taking three long, heavy drinks of her beer.

“I’m not sure I’ve heard of him before,” MacCready said, glancing over her papers again and finding nothing standing out to him. He was becoming increasingly curious. “What do you know about him?”

She scoffed in reply after swallowing and shrugged her shoulders, repressing a belch. “Not enough, that’s for damn sure.”

He scratched his face and craned his neck, desperate for more information, feeling he was being asked to enter an exceedingly dangerous job with little context. It was putting him on edge. “Okay, so…” he sighed, setting his drink down and folding his arms. “Can I ask, why are you after him?”

She froze, feeling immediately nauseous, as if acid was crawling up her esophagus. 

“Irrelevant,” she said quietly. “All you need to know is that I need to find him. Ask him a few things.”

He sighed, again, recognizing the fact he’s reached another roadblock in his questioning.

“I’m assuming it won’t end with a simple Q and A,” he says suspiciously, reading her energy and understanding it like a second language. Clearly she was hiding something. Whatever it was, it sat in her very core and existed mercilessly. Fine. That was a feeling he understood all too well. He'll see how far this can go on while leaving it at that.

“Absolutely fucking not," she said, curling her hand into a fist. "I’m taking whatever I can get from him before I tear him the fuck apart.” MacCready simply nodded in reply as she continued. “From what I can assume, I’m thinking he’s probably holed up somewhere around here,” she says, circling her finger around Fort Hagen. “Before the war, this area was home to a significant military fortress. It's one of the only ones in the area not currently occupied by something or someone else, so I've been told. I’ve gotten the impression from Valentine that Kellogg has been doing this for a long time. So he would know where to go to supply and protect himself.” MacCready stared at her, arching an eyebrow in suspicion. He was confused about how she came to these conclusions because she kept all of her statements broad in nature. He didn't know whether or not she was talking like this on purpose, but it was beginning to aggravate him.

As for her, she realized what she may have let on with her rant and continued quickly in an attempt to move the conversation along. “We need to head to Diamond City,” she said, pulling her map to the top of her stack of papers again.

“I know where Diamond City is.”

“Good for you?” She said in annoyance, bringing her finger to the V-shaped mark on the map regardless. “Valentine has my dog there. If Dogmeat leads us to the same bunker I expect he’s in then we, hopefully, won’t be wasting our time.”

“You named your dog Dogmeat?”

“Will you fucking focus?” She snapped, raising her hands in annoyance.

“Who says I’m not?” He replied defensively while putting his own hands up. “Jesus, lady. Name your dog something like that and expect me to NOT say some—“

“I didn’t name the fucking dog, MacCready. Mama Murphey said he’s—” she stopped herself abruptly and looked at him, who was staring back at her like she had two heads. “Nevermind! Shut up about the dog! Anyway!” she called out loudly, fighting the urge to punch him in the face. “Will you let me explain this to you?”

MacCready closed his mouth, again, and leaned away from the desk.

Please, 'explain' away, he thought to himself.

“I was able to get into Kellogg’s home in Diamond City. There was a cigar on the table. Still smoking,” she said, suddenly becoming still, enraged by the mental images of her child with Kellogg once more. Little details like Nuka-Cherries and Sugar Bombs on a shelf with a smoldering cigar on the table nearby made her situation feel all too real.

Her jaw clenched. Hard.

“So, you’re thinking he didn’t leave too long ago?” MacCready mused questioningly, trying to break her out of silence.

“Bingo,” she said, snapping her fingers as if she didn’t skip a beat. “At least that’s what-the-fuck I am hoping. Valentine suggested giving Dogmeat the scent. If that fuck was on the move recently, there’s a good chance he can be followed that way. It’s the only lead I’ve got.”

MacCready nods in acknowledgment, brewing over everything he has, and hasn’t, been told so far.

“This is where we’ve got to figure out which weapons to bring and how much of each supply we might need. It’ll be a bit of a trek and a seasoned mercenary like this fuck won’t be alone,” she said, lighting another cigarette. She puffed on it and exhaled sharply, looking MacCready dead in the eye. “You got any input on that? Takes one to know one, after all.”

MacCready scoffed, instinctively feeling that was an insult above all else with how she signaled she felt about this Kellogg character. He glanced at her cigarette, feeling an urgent need to hit one himself but no desire to ask her for one.

“Wouldn’t know.” He replied flatly.

“Useful,” she said, beginning to shuffle all of her notes, maps, and other miscellaneous papers into a formulated pile. MacCready rolled his eyes, deciding to ignore yet another one of her sideways comments.

The smoke flowed around her hair, reflecting off the dim lantern she had lit in front of her. MacCready squirmed slightly.

“So, uh, when are you trying to move on this? Should I hit up KL-E-O first thing in the morning, or..?” He asked, hiding his mouth on the bottle of beer as he took a long sip. She shook her head and hit her cigarette again.

“I don't know yet. I guess, just, be prepared to leave just in case. Not too late. I still have so much logistical shit to figure out it’s not even funny, but I think I need to talk to Valentine before I can figure out much else. As much as I’d love to just run up in there and burn the entire thing to the ground, I don’t exactly have a death wish, at least not all the time… so, uh,” she continued, looking around the room, letting her glances fall on MacCready’s confused face only twice. “Do you have somewhere to stay?" she asked quickly, squinting her eyes in embarrassment. "You could stay here, I guess,”

Before he can protest, she rambles on.

“But if I wake up and any of my shit is missing or out of place, trust me, I will—“

“Nuh-uh, let me stop you right there,” he said, waving his hand as he stands from the bed. “For one. I’m not that stupid. Stealing from my employer? So you can take your caps back and kick me to the curb? Yeah, right. And two, I had places to be before you showed up. Unless you require me here, I’m out. Just say the word.” His arms were folded against his chest, face flat aside from an arched brow hidden beneath the brim of his hat. Despite knowing her suspicions were warranted, he never appreciated insults to his character, no matter who it was coming from, or why.

The invisible scoreboard above their heads disappeared.

She looked up at him with an expression that said ‘are you kidding me?’ and swiftly stood from her chair, walking back towards the door. She unlocked it, opening it as she gestured her arm towards the doorway. He glanced at her once, picked up the beer he didn’t finish, and strode forward. He was one step across the threshold when he turned back towards her.

“So, uh, when do you want me to—“

“I’ll meet you back here at two.”

The door slammed shut, the noise of the lock engaging following suit. MacCready stood still for a moment, making sure he understood her correctly amongst her dramatics.

“Oookay. Two o’clock.”

Chapter Text

Her eyes pried themselves open as a beam of sunlight breached through the broken window shudders. Judging by its position on her face, it was nearing eleven a.m.. She pulled her jacket over her eyes and rolled over to face the wall. 

Slowly, and then all at once, two hours had passed. The ache in her back reminded her she had not moved at all. The headache that kept her awake continued to throb.

In her own cruel ritual, she rolled herself back over and stared at the ceiling. In the weeks before, this moment would have been defined by sobs so profound they tore at her throat and lungs, followed by the inevitable self-harm to stop it all. These moments were marked with shame and desperation. She was not proud. In fact, she hated herself, far more than she ever thought she could.

What a weak, useless, waste of a human, she thought. Oh, so the world finally gets nuked, as if you had no idea it was coming, and you wake up two-hundred years later, alone, with your infant son kidnapped and the corpse of your partner of six years- preserved in the remnants of a failed corporate experiment by means of an adult-sized ice box- lying right in front of you, and you’re broken? Big fucking whoop, no one cares, get the fuck over it.

Every morning was like this; a weird limbo between racing thoughts and a paralyzed body. It was fundamentally nonsensical and often resulted in her shutting down in the end. No matter how hard she willed herself, she could not bring herself to move until the pain in her head and back became too much to bear. Sometimes she wondered if she could die in that state. 

Once again surrendering to her survival instinct, she sat up, reaching for a can of water. Between the tears and alcohol consumption, she was thirsty all the time, and she gained quite a bit of muscle in her arms and back simply by carrying water everywhere. Water was always precious to her, and in her daydreams about the end times before they came true, she worried about water the most.

She flinched as she glanced at her hands.

How’s that water, bitch?

"Shut up."

I sure do hope Shaun isn’t hungry or thirsty right now.

"Shut. Up."

Shaun. Shaun! Your baby? Hello? Are you even a mother?

She squeezed her eyes shut, her torso tensed.

Get the fuck up. You’re wasting time. You’ve wasted enough time.

She shook her head.

GET THE FUCK UP.

The lantern on the desk beside her flew through the air as it crashed against the wall and broke apart. Shattered glass fell onto the ground as she put her head in her hands, straining her hands and fingers, gearing up to drag her nails down her face. She stopped when she remembered she was supposed to be talking to that guy she hired soon. The last thing she wanted to be asked by that man was ‘what happened to your face?’

With a groan, she stood, kicking an empty bottle away from her feet as she walked towards the bathroom. She looked at her face and grimaced in disgust. 

“Ugly, fucking…” she whispered, filling the plugged sink with a small amount of water. She removed a small square of soap from a pink bag and activated it before quickly putting it back in order to save as much as she could. Soap was hard to find lately, and the caps she had set aside for some toiletries became a hasty, drunken bargaining chip for the Green Bean she met last night. 

Speaking of which, if he didn’t show up today, she’d give Dogmeat a whiff of gun oil to track instead.

After wiping down her face, she reapplied her eyeliner over the old, again, then stuffed all her belongings back into their respective bags and pockets. She grabbed her Pip-Boy from beneath the bed and shoved it towards the bottom of her backpack, content with utilizing her paper map over the digital one. As for the Geiger counter, that could be heard through the bag and explained away easily.

Whatever benefits her Pip-Boy presented were vastly outweighed by the drawback of being a spectacle. At first she tried to say she looted it off of someone she killed while scavenging, but almost no one believed her. She learned vault dwellers weren’t so common anymore, but most folk had heard enough about them to know how to distinguish one from everyone else who spent their entire lives on the surface. Diamond City was a crash course when it came to teaching her just how much attention that Pip-Boy and her ‘vault dweller’ status drew to her, and she’d like to not go through anything like that again.

She looked outside again. The sun was higher now.  

She heard a gust of wind blow around and through the building, and the floorboards creaked dramatically as she re-entered the bathroom. She looked into the reflection of her eyes, and sighed. Turning her head to the side, she noted how deeply her cheeks had begun to sink into her face. It probably would have alarmed her if she hadn’t looked like this once before.

Oh, well.

With a resigned breath, she grabbed her belongings and secured her bags to herself, then exited the room and waited in the lobby of the Rexford.

~

MacCready rolled over on his bed, then back again, fighting to feel comfortable. He was initially excited to sleep on a bed instead of a chair for once, but broken springs jabbing into his back weren't much better than a wooden chair with abysmal cushioning. The door with a lock was definitely a bonus, though.

Looking out his window, he decided now would be a good time to start his day; he had a couple hours of free time and didn’t want to spend his first day on the road wishing he had made an attempt at cleaning himself when he recently had the means. 

He stood, cracking his back, neck, shoulders and hands on the way up. Removing his shirt and pants, he approached the bathroom, avoiding the mirror altogether. Utilizing the sink, he scrubbed himself with an old cloth until most of the dirt and grime caked to his skin loosened and fell away. While there weren’t often tools available to the general public to ensure smelling good after post-apocalyptic baths, water still did a decent job of maintaining a less offensive overall odor. And MacCready, being the kind of man he was, found ways to counter that dilemma altogether. 

A few years prior during one of his frequent trips to abandoned libraries and universities, he had found a book describing the origins and development of perfumes and colognes, which was a topic discovered through his pre-war vegetation rabbit hole. Pre-war, or rather, pre-radiation fauna fascinated him and he read about eastern North American trees and shrubbery in an attempt to better understand his environment. Once he learned liquid fragrances were deliberately created and bottled, crafted to not only make the wearer smell good, but sold at a high price to attract sexual partners, he was hooked. He spent the next few months studying the trees and flowers around his home, eventually finding a subtle blend he liked that he could make with tree bark, steam, alcohol, and paper filters. Thankfully, a little would go a long way. In a pinch, though, he would sometimes collect ash from burned wood piles or dab his fingers along his neck here and there after cleaning and lubricating his rifle.

He thought he was a freakin’ genius for it. 

MacCready bent over to pull his pants up when a sudden crash erupted on the other side of his bathroom wall, sending him tripping over himself and falling backwards into the chair beside him. He stood quickly to finish securing his belt, then remained still to listen for any further disruption. He thought he heard glass, but he couldn’t be sure. Whatever it was, if gunfire broke out, he had already mastered his Rexford-quick-exit action plan long ago.

After a few moments of silence he concluded someone either fell or dropped something, then continued dressing himself. 

As MacCready reapplied his watch, cuffs, binoculars, ammo straps and hat to himself, he went through his mental checklist, something he did before embarking on any job. He considered the target, location, obstacles, distance, food and water acquisition between points A and B, etc. He was able to answer a few of these questions from what he was told last night, but not nearly enough to feel as confident as he usually did.

Hopefully this lady would start using her mouth to give him something useful to work with soon, instead of just insulting him and saying weird stuff about dogs and robots.

~

She sat at one of the tables in the corner of the lobby with her back to the wall, arms folded around a can of water and her legs bouncing in irregular rhythms. She looked out the window and towards the sun again, wondering if Green Bean had a fucking watch.

Before she could continue mentally cursing him front, back, and sideways, she heard steady footsteps descend the decrepit stairs along the back wall. He nonchalantly approached her, setting his backpack onto the table while he readjusted the strap of his rifle across his chest.

She watched him through her hair as she spoke.

“About time.”

“You said two, didn’t you?" he replied, quickly turning towards the windows.

“Yeahm” she said, shaking her head. She grunted in disapproval and began to sit up straighter.

MacCready continued looking around himself as if he was wondering if anyone else was witnessing what she was saying to him. Deciding it wasn’t worth the argument, he stayed silent and took a seat across from her.

“You up for heading to Diamond City today?” She asked. Her voice was low and rather deep. He looked at her as he sat, nodding his head to signal his agreement. “We can easily get there before sundown. Grab more shit for the road, and…” she paused, moving her hand from her head to the table to anxiously tap her fingers against its surface. MacCready stifled a yawn while waiting for her to finish. She noticed and brought her glare directly into his eyes, but he didn’t react or comment on it.

“...get what we need… all that.” 

MacCready nodded again.

“Sounds good, Boss.”

Despite its oh-so-delightful smell and upstanding citizens, her scouting of Goodneighbor proved to be more fruitful than she had anticipated. Not only did KL-E-O carry ammo she needed, but she managed to find someone she could hire to help her while she navigated this mess. It was all new territory for her but he seemed capable enough despite the runaround she gave him in the beginning. Not only that, but he wasn’t as pig-headed as she initially assumed he would be. Annoying as hell, yes, but not dangerously so. Every other man she’s encountered in the Commonwealth thus far has been a wound-up egomaniac who usually ended up with their brains scattered on the floor, once she was done with them. This MacCready character was different. He seemed more aware than most, or at least that was the impression she got, and her impressions were seldom wrong. He appeared cautious and mindful towards things not solely having to do with himself and that alone was enough to hire him for the time being.

Low bar for a low world.

She refused to let her guard down, but she would allow him to accompany her and try to pay attention to whatever it was he could teach her about this landscape. His easily breakable body frame served as insurance as well, a characteristic of his that she would not hesitate to snap in half if necessary.

MacCready, in his own right, was also cautious. Although he couldn’t exactly place it, something about this woman was... beyond different. Not just normal Wasteland different, but strangely, concerningly, different. Her energy screamed secrecy and defensiveness, but at the same time, that wasn’t inherently nefarious. He pondered for a while last night about just how large that bundle of caps was that he had tucked beneath his pillow and guarded like a starved dog with a bone. At first he wrote it off as her being crazy, but then his mind began to wander, recalling stories of traps, cults, kidnappings, murders, and sex-trafficking.

He laid awake for a few hours longer than normal, waiting for a cartoonish-looking villain to either break down his door or simply apparate in front of him.

His tired mind eventually settled into the idea that he just got lucky. That didn't happen often, but when it did, he usually cashed out pretty well. He recalled her saying, 'I've got ways to get you caps. A lot of them,' and maybe she wasn't joking. Maybe this could become a steady supply of income, and he could finally make some headway in his goals.

Maybe.

At this point, standing in front of her in the lobby, watching her fidget her hands and legs so hard it shook the table, he just hoped this secrecy of hers wouldn’t jeopardize his effectiveness on this job. If he got killed because she was too scared to tell him something, he’d be pissed. Dead, and pissed.

She began to collect herself and stand from her seat when he spoke again.

“Hey,” he said, rubbing his thighs with his hands as she averted her eyes back to his. He mentally noted how intense they looked and concluded this should probably be his last inquiry for a while. “So, I just realized I never got your name.”

She appeared to question something for a moment before answering. Looking back towards her bag, she acted like she didn’t skip a beat.

“Nik. N-I-K.”

MacCready nodded thoughtfully. “Is that short for something?”

Whoops.

“No,” she snapped. “Just Nik.”

“Okay, ‘Just Nik’, I’m ready to go when you are,” he said mockingly, fighting the urge to smile at himself. He imagined a faint ‘1’ above his head for a moment before he caught her eyes again. Her intense stare immediately evaporated the numeral from existence.

Chapter Text

MacCready held the door for Nik as they stepped out of Goodneighbor’s gate. Nik drew her pistol, fully aware of the super mutants living in a tower just around the corner.

“We’ll want to take this alleyway here,” MacCready began to say, gesturing towards a path Nik already had her eyes on.

“Yeah,” she said, cutting him off. “Those fuckers almost got me on my way in. I’d rather sneak by if that’s alright with you.”

“Yeah, sure,” he paused, chewing at his lip. “Just might be a little difficult in broad daylight.”

Nik rolled her eyes. “No shit.”

Keeping her footsteps surprisingly soft, she continued down their agreed route. The further they went, the more Goodneighbor’s smell of piss became replaced by an overwhelming aroma of rotting meat. It made her stomach twist. MacCready stayed close behind, looking upwards more than directly forward in case there was movement in the crumbling buildings above.

Nik’s anxiety began to rise as the rubble that accumulated in the middle of the alley loudened her footsteps more than she anticipated. She slowed as a result, and MacCready abruptly stopped himself to avoid bumping into her.

“What?” he whispered, looking around for a threat. Nik shook her head and gripped her pistol harder.

“Nothing, be quiet.”

A brief moment passed before MacCready heard the sound of a dog’s footsteps increasing in speed. His head followed the sound as Nik lifted her pistol towards the end of the alleyway, which was but a few feet ahead of them now. She cranked her head up and to the left and saw two feral dogs running towards the tower the super mutants were in. Automatic gunfire erupted and Nik plastered her back flat against the wall. MacCready stepped forward, halfway covering her and halfway poking his head around the corner, attempting to see the commotion. 

Nik’s chest heaved as she struggled to regulate her breathing. MacCready pretended not to notice.

“We’re too close,” he said, double-checking the safety on his rifle, which he had already switched off. “We need to either go back or run into the next alley right there.” He brought his hand into a pointed position and waited for a reply. Instead, he heard glass clink against metal as Nik pulled a compact bottle of vodka from her bag. His face twisted in confusion.

“Uh, not really the time, Boss,” he said, watching her as she drank what looked to be two shots worth. The strong smell of alcohol assaulted his nose and he flinched. Nik’s expression remained unchanged as she took a slow and steady breath. She ignored his judgement and replied to his earlier statement.

“Keep going. The next street over has bigger buildings to snake around, right?” She placed the bottle back into her bag and tied it off.

“Right, but…”

“Then let’s go.” 

Nik ran forward as gunfire started and stopped repeatedly, until the whine of a dog sounded over the commotion. MacCready held his rifle upwards and followed, making a point to try and not pass her as they ran. He looked to his right and saw three mutants occupied with stringing two bloodied mongrels up onto a low-hanging banister within the lobby of the tower. He looked forward again, shaking his head in frustration.

This was not his style whatsoever.

“Boss!” he strained forward, grabbing her shoulder as they crashed into the wall. “What are you doing?”

She rolled her eyes and shrugged his hand off of her before moving around to crouch beside a dumpster. “Moving into the next alleyway, like you said, what does it look like I’m doing?” she whispered back, gesturing her hands to her side. MacCready also lowered himself.

“I don’t know if you understand how lucky that was. If those things weren’t so concerned with their lunch, that could’ve been you hanging up to dry in there,” MacCready said, moving both hands to his rifle again. His fingers twisted around the stock.

“No. Shit. The dogs were our opportunity. It was a distraction. Congratulations on your observation,” she snapped back in a hushed and harsh tone. MacCready turned himself away from her to hide the spiteful grin on his face. 

This is crazy and she thinks it’s a joke.

“Fine, Hotshot,” he surrendered, nodding his head as a way to signal her to resume point again. “Go ahead. Just do me a favor and keep it slow, keep yourself covered,” 

Nik began to fidget as he spoke.

“Be careful of the cemetery up ahead and be prepared for Raiders to be in the second and third floors of these buildings.”

They stood at the same time and remained silent for a moment, Nik taking a moment to simply look at his face. He seemed to be breathing faster than normal and holding tension in his jaw. She nodded.

“Right.”

Turning to continue, she checked their corners before removing herself from the cover of the alley.

“Bus,” she said, moving to the right side of it with intent to enter and scavenge. MacCready, on the other hand, struggled to remove his attention from the cemetery.

“Boss,” he started, standing at the threshold of the bus entrance. Nik cracked open a suitcase and pulled an old lighter and a pack of cigarettes from inside of it.

“What?”

“The cemetery, we need to either pass it or check it, now, before–”

A guttural, wet groan sounded from behind him as he turned to face the noise, backing himself up onto the bus steps.

“God damn it,” he cursed, raising the scope of his rifle to his face. “We’ve got a feral over here.”

“More dogs?” she replied, raising her pistol beside him.

“No,” he released a breath before making his shot, sending the screeching mass to the ground. Nik attempted to get a better look at what fell, but it was obscured by headstones. MacCready kept his eyes forward as he spat out, “Did you listen to anything I said back there?”

“‘Watch out for the cemetery’, yes, I did.”

“What’s next to this big metal stash box of yours right now?”

“The fucking cemetery. There were feral dogs earlier, if there’s more hanging around here, we can hear them before they’re too close. That’s what you’re here for.”

MacCready took a deep breath as a bead of sweat formed along the emerging vein in his forehead.

“You’re not listening. These are not dogs,” he said, pointing his rifle again as a second feral ghoul rose from the ground. His rifle cracked as he dropped it before it could fully stand.

“Okay, so what are they then?” she snapped, raising and lowering her pistol in confusion.

MacCready put his hand on her forearm and pushed it away, attempting to put distance between his head and her pistol.

“Feral ghouls. Ghouls, not dogs. Got it?”

Nik furrowed her brow and frowned, rubbing her forehead with her free hand.

“Ghouls? Like Daisy and Hancock?” he said, failing to hide the irritation and sarcasm in his tone. Nik simply stared at him, appearing more and more lost with each word he said. 

Is she joking?!

“Except these ones have had their minds eaten away by enough radiation to essentially classify them as zombies. They go after anything with a pulse and you seemed perfectly content with letting one run up on you while you dug around for junk.”

Nik saw the repressed panic in his face and restrained her mouth from saying something arrogant.

Great, she thought. Another class of threats. A horrifically heart-breaking class of threats.

Before she got lost in that train of thought again, she simply tied off her bag again and nodded.

“I apologize. We should keep going. I won’t stop this time.”

MacCready nodded, doing his best to hide the straight fury he was feeling.

“Glad to hear it. Boss. And please. For the love of God. Remember what I said about the Raiders in the buildings.”

Nik and MacCready rounded the corner slowly, both now making a point to fully survey their surroundings. Nik looked ahead and noticed white lettering scrawled on a piece of molded wood.

‘KEEP OUT’, it read. MacCready noticed it too and halted himself. “This is the Common. We need to get out of here. Unless you really do want to get yourself killed,” he said, still sounding as irritated as he did earlier.

Nik looked further into the center of the Common and saw the white gazebo still standing. A memory began to play in her mind's eye but she stopped it immediately. Instead, she repeated MacCready's words in her head and quickly decided to not question him or his sarcasm. She noted one wall of a building ahead of them was entirely boarded up, so tucking themselves tightly against the opposite wall would be the safest thing to do. MacCready must have thought the same thing because he followed her without protest. 

“Wish I had more Jet…” a gravelly voice sounded from above. Nik looked back to MacCready quickly and he shook his head, raising a finger to his lips before waving his hand forward. He pointed towards the next corner they needed to take and she nodded in silence, continuing.

Nearly two hours had passed by this point; the area was too congested to move any faster than they were. MacCready was becoming more and more anxious while Nik, unbeknownst to him, was dissociating. 

The two successfully rounded the next two blocks without much interference. MacCready looked at the torn banners hanging from the side of the library, wishing it was possible to just go inside and read something. He was broken from his thoughts as Nik jumped back dramatically, pushing herself against the wall and clutching her chest. He ran forward with his gun drawn before he spotted the metallic mask donned by a member of Diamond City security. His sigh made him sound like he was reaching a point beyond mental exhaustion.

“Fucker scared me,” Nik said, lowering her pistol and continuing towards the entrance.

MacCready didn't reply as he followed her along Diamond City's outer walls. He took this opportunity of relative safety to catch his breath and consider their two-hour-long journey from Goodneighbor to Diamond City. It should not have been that complicated.

An image of Nik’s paper map flashed in his mind and he tried to forget it. 

He held his rifle with one hand while using the other to lift his hat and wipe the sweat from his brow with the sleeve of his jacket. How could she not know what feral ghouls were? She had not heard of the Gunners, either. Maybe she was from another settlement further north? But he was under the assumption ghouls would be everywhere the bombs touched, and as far as he knew, they touched just about every single pre-war state.

Also, stopping to take a drink in the middle of gunfire and looting a bus directly next to cemetery gates? Ballsy move from a woman who seemed so cocky just two days ago.

At this point he was damn grateful she paid him a small fortune; he was essentially working double-time trying to cover and guide her when he initially believed that wouldn’t be the case.

Several steps ahead of him was Nik, who was silent, as was her mind.

She wanted another drink.

Her mental silence began to break as an invasive memory of visiting Fenway Park with her father crept into her mind.

She was ten, and it was just the two of them, like it always was. They had spent the morning making omelets and listening to rock ‘n’ roll songs on the radio. Money was tight but her father worked eighteen hours a day to ensure she was properly fed, clothed, housed, and was able to enjoy her childhood as much as possible. For her upcoming eleventh birthday, he was able to acquire discounted mid-season tickets from a friend of a friend. Nik did not understand nor did she care; she’d get to spend the day at the ball game with her Pops. 

She remembered holding his hand while they waited in the concession line for popcorn and Nuka-Cola. When they finally took their seats in the nosebleeds, he had eagerly presented her with a bag of assorted candies. Candy was rare in their circumstances and her reaction reflected that.

As she cleared her second box of gumdrops, her father explained how a batter from the 1940s hit the ball so hard, it flew all the way into upper right stands, landing on a man sitting all the way up there, and the park decided to commemorate the event by painting that seat red.

As Nik ascended the main stairway into Diamond City, she looked to the upper right and spotted a faded red slab of plastic amongst a sea of destroyed chairs. 

A second tear fell from her eye and her chest felt like it could split in half from the inside.

Chapter Text

“Hey, you and your mercenary friend better keep your guns in your pants, capiche?”

Nik wiped the streak of tears from her cheeks before showing the guard her middle finger. MacCready secured his rifle to his back as he watched her, ignoring the warning he heard every time he visited Diamond City. MacCready’s reputation was well understood here and security never failed to remind him they were watching him. It made him laugh more than anything. The uppity, paranoid vibe of everyone here was pathetic. He surmised that’s what happens when you spoil people with security and luxuries; the desperate nature of life beyond the walls ceases to exist and the void created by the lack of a need to survive is supplemented by paranoia and righteousness. MacCready couldn’t be bothered with any of it.

“Hey, Nik!” a small voice called from the left. “Your interview is a hit!”

Nik turned to MacCready quickly and outstretched an empty bag to him.

“Go get yourself some ammo before Arturo closes his shop, yeah?” She clumsily pulled a gold pocket watch and some Wonderglue from her pant pockets and added them to the growing pile in his hands. He nearly dropped the bag before he could get a grip on the rest. 

“Uh, yeah, uh… sure,” he said, taking the hint and moving towards the other end of the market. As he began to pass the noodle bar, he turned back to see Nik on one knee with Nat’s hands in hers. Nat looked to be laughing while Nik smiled at her. She balled her fists and put them on her hips, instating a superhero pose, and Nat copied her.

MacCready couldn't help but to smile a little before turning away again.

In this incessantly hardened world, kids were a soft spot.

As MacCready was wrapping up his exchange, he turned to see Nik approaching him.

“I can put us in the Dugout for the night,” she said, putting her hand on his arm and guiding him in that direction, rather uncomfortably. Confusion spread across his face.

“That’s fine,” he replied, struggling to steady his pace against her own. He shrugged his arms to free himself from her grip. He opened his mouth to protest, until another guard spoke.

“Hey, vault dweller! Welcome back!” the guard exclaimed in a Boston accent. MacCready immediately looked to her as she visibly cringed.

“Fuck,” she muttered, grabbing MacCready’s arm again. “Let’s go.”

MacCready laughed spitefully and shook his head in disbelief. Nik rerouted them from the entrance of the Inn in favor of a narrow alleyway that guards were not patrolling. MacCready removed his arm from her grip, again.

“Nice, Hotshot,” he said, glaring at her beneath the brim of his hat. Nik grit her teeth and rolled her eyes, fighting an angry emotional response from escaping her tear ducts. “Looks like I was right about the caps,” he continued, starting to tap his foot as he crossed his arms. Nik shook her head wildly in frustration. She felt her hands tense. MacCready looked away as she plastered her hands to her sides. He scoffed again. “When were you gonna tell me, y'know, the one you hired to protect your life, that it’s your first day? Huh?”

She remained silent.

He looked to the ground. “I’m not going to be your meat shield.”

Nik frowned so hard her nose twitched.

”I have half a mind to walk away right now," he said, shaking his head slowly.

“Yeah? And then what?”

Silence.

“Nik, what are we doing here?” he finally said, removing his hat and rubbing the bridge of his nose with two fingers. “Being broke and desperate won’t mean anything to me if  I’m dead.” 

She contemplated for a while, intermittently chewing at her lower lip. MacCready kept his head down and waited, crossing his arms. After a short internal battle, she let out a long, shaky breath.

“I can’t talk about this here,” she said, taking a seat on an unoccupied bench just beside them. MacCready scoffed and turned to walk away.

“That doesn’t mean I won’t,” she called out, almost choking on her words. He waved his hand dismissively and entered the Inn.

“Sure thing. And it's me who's desperate, right.”

The door slammed shut.

~

MacCready approached the bar, readjusting his hat before reaching into his pocket for some caps. Right now, he could kill for a drink.

“Ay, MacCready! Long time no see, my friend!”

“Hey, Vadim,” he said, putting on his best social voice. “How we doing, you got any of that moonshine?”

The friendly barkeep laughed loudly as MacCready took a seat.

“Yes, yes, of course!” he exclaimed, bringing two glasses and a bottle to the topside of the bar. MacCready slid some caps his way as Vadim continued. “Now, where is Lucy? So beautiful, that one!”

MacCready froze. He didn't expect to be asked that question, again, when he had already answered it close to two years ago now. That moonshine must be giving Vadim memory issues.

“She, uh… she didn’t make it, Vadim,” he said, looking down at the empty glass, really wishing he would just pour already.

“Ah, uh…” the barkeep brought his hand to his neck in embarrassment, looking like he was remembering now. “I am sorry, MacCready. Sometimes mouth move faster than brain, you know.”

MacCready lifted his hand and shook his head as if to say ‘don’t worry about it’. Vadim twisted his hands for a moment before sliding the caps back across the bar. 

“Consider it on the house, my friend,” he said, finally pouring the moonshine. “So! What are we up to, huh?”

“Well,” MacCready started, taking a sip, relieved to be changing topics. “You know, same old, same old.” 

“You closing in on the target, huh? Yefim is right over there!” he said, pointing his thumb towards his brother sitting outside the hallway to the rooms, erupting in laughter. MacCready smiled and shook his head. 

“Yeah, uh…” he sighed, pulling his hand down his face. “I don’t know, man.” He reached for his glass. “Might have to abandon this job I’m on. Thought I was about to make out like a bandit but, eh. Too good to be true, I guess.”

“Why is that?” he said, taking a large drink. MacCready hesitated, knowing damn well this man was a talker, but, well… screw it.

“You know Nik?” MacCready said, looking behind himself, imagining her sitting just outside the door.

“The detective, of course, everybody knows Nick!”

“No, I mean,” MacCready looked at Vadim again. “You know, Nik, the, uh, vault dweller?”

“Huh? Oh! Oh, yes, right, of course.” He chuckled. “Well, everybody knows her know, too.”

MacCready nodded cynically.

Sure.

Vadim began refilling MacCready’s glass as the mercenary leaned further into the bar.

“She gave me four-hundred caps the other night,” he said in a hushed tone, not too keen on letting anyone around him know how much he was carrying. Vadim’s eyes widened, fingers twitching around the expensive bottle before slowly returning it to the counter. MacCready continued. “Said she needed help tracking down a guy. Knows next to nothing about him, or where he’s at. Told me she could pay me long term, made herself sound like she knew what she was doing.” He took a sip, then continued. “She could barely handle the walk from Goodneighbor. Wanted to walk that route in the middle of the day. Stopped to loot a bus right next to a cemetery.” He finished, shaking his head.

Vadim showed a winced expression as he returned his moonshine to the underside of the bar. No more for free.

“Ah, that is tough, my friend,” he said, tapping his fingers on the bartop. MacCready nodded and Vadim continued. “I heard something a bit more tough, recently, but, eh…”

MacCready looked up at him, confused, doing his best to not feel insulted. Vadim’s expression turned heavy. 

“Do you know why she is looking for that man, MacCready?”

He shook his head as if that was a stupid question.

“No, she wouldn’t tell me anything–”

MacCready snapped his mouth closed as he heard the front door open and shut behind him. Quickly turning his head, he watched as Nik slowly approached the bar.

“Hey, we were just talking ‘bout you!” Vadim said loudly, making MacCready wince so hard he thought his head would explode. He shot an intense look at the barkeep under the cover of his hat. Nik stood still and looked down at MacCready with just her eyes.

“Wow. I’m flattered.” Her voice was considerably deeper than normal, so much so that MacCready couldn’t keep himself from looking up at her. The skin from below her eyes, all the way to the line of her jaw, was marked with four dark red lines on each side. One held blood at the end of it.

MacCready opened his mouth to speak.

“What, uh, what happen–”

“A bottle of vodka. Please.” Nik interrupted, pulling the necessary caps from her pocket.

Vadim obliged, pretending not to notice what MacCready couldn’t pull his gaze away from.

“You want to join us? I’ll give you discount on my famous moonshine!” he said, reaching for another glass.

“No, thank you.” She replied flatly, grabbing the bottle before she turned back around, exiting the Inn.

Vadim and MacCready remained silent for a moment.

“Ah, look at the time,” the older man said, looking around the walls for a working clock, which there were zero. MacCready shuffled in his seat, avoiding eye contact. The awkwardness between them was palpable. “Is time for my break, friend. Need anything, ask my brother. And uh, again, I am sorry MacCready. I cannot offer much, but…” MacCready nodded again, quicker this time, silently begging the universe to end this entire interaction before he said her name again. Vadim pushed a half-empty pack of cigarettes across the counter towards him, tapped his fingers twice, and walked to the back.

MacCready suddenly felt deflated and exceptionally lonely, sending an ache to his chest that nearly made him break face. The adrenaline of keeping his deepest heartaches private flowed through his system indiscriminately, and when he didn’t have to hide it anymore, all he felt was a void. A void so vast and unforgiving that he could feel himself being swallowed.

Then there was Nik. She must have done that to herself while she was sitting out there. If someone else had done it, security would have erupted. MacCready couldn’t help but to feel guilty. If he had heard her out instead of dismissing her, maybe she wouldn’t have done it. But in the end, she was a grown woman, and it was her choice to do that. He’d be a fool to blame himself and he knew it.

But then he thought of Lucy. She never turned anyone away.

Fuck me…

With a long sigh, MacCready looked to his left to see if Yefim was sitting there. He wasn’t. Looking to his right, he checked if Vadim or the waitress were nearby. They weren’t. He stood from his stool, rounded the side of the bar, and raised his folded arms in a fake stretch. As he lowered them, he quickly swiped his hand beneath the countertop and grabbed a bottle of beer, dropping it into the lower pocket of his duster which was conveniently lined up with where his hands naturally fell when resting. A little modification acquired during his tailoring kick.

If he was going to do this, he sure as hell would need more to drink.

~

Nik found the stage in the outer field. Aside from some kids running around the inner perimeter and a few folks sitting in the central hub, there wasn’t a lot of activity on this Thursday night. The sun had set and the sky slowly became darker. She sat with her legs hanging over the edge, facing the right side of the outfield. Her head had been down since she sat, and her neck hurt like a motherfucker, but she couldn’t bring herself to lift it back up. The leather jacket on her back fell off her right shoulder. A part in the back of her hair exposed the band of a necklace, a solid black line.

She thought of nothing.

The sound of casual footsteps approaching broke through her mental fog.

“Hey there, Hotshot.”

MacCready could see her jump slightly before she straightened herself and turned to look at him, then look away.

“What,” she muttered, then took a sip of vodka. MacCready noticed she hadn’t made it past the neck of the bottle.

“Well…” he started, climbing up the steps to the stage. “Just figured I’d check on you, Boss.” He pulled his hands from his pockets and removed his rifle from his back. Nik shook her head.

“Save it. I was just out here trying to figure out how to ask for at least fifty back so I could buy a few clips for the walk home.”

MacCready felt a pain in his stomach as he looked at her. He strained his neck to the side, took a deep breath, and reminded himself of his promises. 

Nik heard the sounds of a metal, wire-framed trashcan hitting the outside of the outer wall.

“Not exactly what I had in mind, no.” MacCready said, bringing himself to the ground and sitting cross-legged. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Tell you what.”

“You know… that you came from a vault. Unless your experiment involved 24/7 combat and survival training, I’m assuming you might need more help than you let on.”

Nik raised an eyebrow in confusion. Did he just say experiment?

“I can’t adequately help you if I don’t know what I’m working with.” He continued, taking a steady drink.

“I don’t really know what I’m working with, either.” She mumbled. MacCready smirked cockily and lifted his chin.

“I’ve been shooting a rifle since I was ten, if that gives you any idea.”

“I meant me.”

“Uh, I can teach you how to shoot a rifle?”

“Nope, not what I meant either," she said, cracking her back. "And I know how to shoot a rifle.”

“Oh, well… uh…” He was lost, and didn’t want to guess wrong a third time, so he remained quiet. The silence weighed heavy in both of their skulls but neither knew how to break it until Nik couldn’t stand looking so pathetic anymore.

“Sorry for ruining your party with Vadim,” she said, her monotone voice slightly raising in volume. “Percy wouldn’t sell to me. Kept saying I sounded like a synth.”

MacCready shifted his eyes to hers and tried to hold back his laughter, but failed. It sounded through his nose and he almost started to choke on his drink. Nik looked at him, eyes wide for a moment before a smile crept onto her face.

Well, it was funny, after all.

She looked down to hide herself with her hair. Neither spoke for another minute.

“Look, Nik… this world is really messed up," MacCready sighed, exhaling a shaky breath. Nik immediately twisted her face in disgust. "I can tell you’ve been through something, uh… y’know… pretty bad.” He rubbed his neck. “I’d be more surprised if you hadn’t.”

She sat up straight again and cleared her throat, shifting awkwardly. Green Bean had about two seconds to make his point before she found a way to incinerate him with her mind.

Nik looked up and over his shoulder towards the sound of scattered voices behind the wall. Words were ineligible, but the tones were irritable and high strung. She moved her legs up from the hanging position they were in as MacCready continued. 

“I’ll be straight with you here, Nik, I'm... I’m really hard up for caps. I will help you for as long as I can if you can still pay me, but you’ve really gotta throw me a bone here. You don’t have to tell me everything, just…” Nik cut him off.

“Oh, I won’t be. You’re in it for the caps, right? I get it. Money gets shit done,” she said, eyes shifting back and forth from his face to the outer wall. She started talking faster as her anxiety began to rise, but for what reason, she could not figure out. "You're wondering how I," she brought her hand to her chest. "Miss. Pathetic Little Vault Dweller, is carrying so many caps, right?"

MacCready shifted in embarrassment, not too thrilled with having his thoughts so accurately called out straight to his face.

"I have supply lines running between a handful of settlements in Sanctuary, Malden, and Cambridge. A friend and I built some water purifiers outside of my home.”

His face couldn't hide his surprise. “Water empire?”

“I prefer to think of it as giving back to the people, but…”

“But you charge for it.”

“It depends. But yes, in most cases, we charge. The caravans have helped to expand our reach, they come back with caps in exchange for food and a place to sleep. We’ve got a system building up.”

“Is this something your vault is tasking you with?”

“Oh, fuck, no. Fuck Vault Tec," she said, confused again. “You ever heard of the Minutemen?”

Nik and MacCready jumped in unison as a line of gunfire erupted from the south side of the city. The two scrambled to their feet, Nik immediately running down the stairs and towards the noise. MacCready followed behind.

“Kids, inside, now! Anywhere!” A guard called, waving his arm in the air and towards the line of houses. “Go!”

Nik kicked up dust as she slid to a stop in front of the guard. “What’s going on?” she asked, breath rapid and panicked.

“Gate breach. Raiders. A lot of ‘em.”

Nik immediately looked towards Publick Occurences and saw Piper practically shoving Nat inside as she slammed the gate shut and turned off her lights. She breathed a sigh of relief.

“Where the hell were you guys?” MacCready demanded as the three of them turned towards the main gate together.

“At our goddamn posts, asshole. Johnny said there’s at least forty of ‘em. They took out our outer guys all quiet-like then flanked us from both sides.”

Nik recalled the noises she heard earlier and cursed herself. She could have helped, but instead she was too busy talking about herself.

Nik and MacCready ascended the first set of stairs before stopping at the main barricade separating the main entrance from the metal catwalks and lift system lining the southern end of the city. One took either side automatically as they intermittently poked their heads out to assess the situation.

MacCready, in seconds, removed his rifle from his back, switched the safety off, checked his chamber and clip, then cocked it. Nik tied up her hair and grabbed her pistol.

“You better stay back, Hotshot, this will be over in a few minutes,” he said, raising his scope to his face to mentally mark his targets before advancing. A wall of red flashed before his eye as Nik ran forward, placing herself behind a concrete pillar just outside the end of the hall. 

“Hey!” MacCready called out, cursing her in his mind. The approaching Raiders fired aimlessly into the hall as if the light from the city was their target, pinning him to his position. “Damn it!”

Nik held her pistol to her side, quickly looking back and forth, noting her surroundings. An old concession kiosk sat to her right while at her left was the repurposed ticket counter. The kiosk provided more cover in the way that it was darker, but she couldn’t trust the rusted door to open quickly enough for her to enter. The ticket counter was more exposed but provided more room and angles to shoot from, and was already currently wide open.

Puffs of cement erupted around her feet and head as she counted to three in her mind. If she was fast enough, the worst she would get is a ricochet to a limb. For what Raiders had in audacity, they gravely lacked in coordination.

Nik scrambled to the ground behind the ticket counter. Two guards ahead of her began to struggle as a small group of melee attackers advanced while those with guns behind them continued to fire. Collecting herself, she set her arms on the counter and aimed her pistol, steadying herself on one knee. 

“One, two, and three,” she said to herself as the machete and pipe-wielding offenders dropped to the ground. The two guards retreated further back and steadied themselves. Nik took advantage of the small pause to ready a new clip of ammo, then grit her teeth, and cursed at herself. “Really wish I had my Winchester right now…”

More Raiders ran forward as she and the two guards fired back, Nik landing hits in the chest while the guards bashed one’s head with the butt of his rifle and promptly headshot the two others.

“They’re running in in groups of three,” MacCready called from her right, finding cover behind the same pillar she did just a moment ago.

“Oh, yeah? Didn’t notice,” she yelled back, promptly returning fire towards the next round.

“You got grenades, Hotshot?”

“Not a smart idea Green Bean, we don’t know where all the outer guards are at.”

“What did you just call me?!”

They both ducked as automatic fire picked up and centralized on their location. Nik attempted to look over the counter twice but the gunfire was too rapid and unrelenting to do so safely. She cursed under her breath.

“Any ideas, merc?” A guard called from a row of pillars ahead.

“Yeah, explosives before they overwhelm us, but your guys are scattered like roaches!”

“It’s just me and Johnny up here,” he yelled, panting. “The rest of the outer perimeter are dead. Give 'em whatever you got!”

“Say no more,” Nik said to no one, pulling her backpack around her front side to fish out her stash of grenades. MacCready looked at her expectantly, waiting to be given the whole bag. Instead, she tossed him one as she turned back around and began staging four of them herself. 

“On the count of three, as close to the wall as you can, they’ve all got to be standing just on the other side of it.” MacCready tucked his rifle into the crook of his arm, nearly dropping the grenade as Nik began to count down. She held two in one hand and quickly pulled the pins before counting. “One, two, three!” She yelled, wincing at an old pain in her shoulder as she pitched them into the courtyard. A handful of bodies dropped while some scattered in panic before a second round of explosives left Nik’s hand and landed at their feet.

The ringing echo of the explosions rattled her head as she re-secured her bag and took point once again. MacCready had to peel his eyes off of her as she dropped the next round of offenders. Their numbers and overall intensity were dwindling. 

One, two. One, two. One. Nik changed her clip.

One, two. One. One, two. 

“This shit ain’t worth it, Billy! Your plan fucking sucked!” A strained voice shouted.

“Don’t say my fucking name, stupid!” A deeper voice responded. Nik lifted her head slightly and opened the one eye she had closed. “Fall back, now, all uh' ya!”

For a moment, no one moved.

“Think they’re leaving?” MacCready said suddenly, rifle still readied in his hands.

“Quiet,” Nik replied, trying to get a better look at the state of the guards a yard in front of her. She thought she heard the sound of rapid footsteps receding but waited another moment to be sure.

“You two, you ok?” she called over the counter, lifting herself higher.

“Yeah, I think so, I got hit in the damn foot, but… Johnny, hey, Johnny,” the guard said, removing the downed man’s mask and smacking him on the cheek.

“He breathing?” Nik called over, gearing up to move from her cover.

“I don’t, I don’t know!” He said frantically, continuing to slap him in panic.

“I can go get help,” MacCready said, but Nik didn’t reply as she scrambled over to the two men. She grabbed the upper half of the man’s body and began pulling him further away from the entrance and into a hidden corner. 

“Help me,” she said to the standing guard, struggling with the man’s weight. MacCready looked around for any strung-out stragglers before running towards them.

“You!” Nik yelled, interrupting his stride with the intensity of her eyes. “Find someone to close that fucking gate!” She carefully set the injured man’s head down then rounded his side to observe a gunshot wound to the lower abdomen. “Where the hell is everybody?!” 

MacCready nodded and turned on his heel, running back into the city center. A cluster of guards gathered around the central hub, chatting with one another, guns against their chests as usual. One of them spotted MacCready running towards them and raised his gun, pointing it at his chest. 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” MacCready called out, raising his hands as he came to a stop in front of them.

“Slow your roll, there, pal,” a second guard said, putting his hand on MacCready’s chest and edging him backwards. “We’ve got a situation going on and you’re nothing but trouble, why don’t you take a hike before we lock you up for good measure, huh?”

MacCready lowered his hands and shoved the guard’s arm away. “Me and Nik and two of your friends held them back.  We think the Raiders are all dead or gone but the gate is still open. Can any of you numbskulls close the damn thing?!”

“Yo, Danny!” One of them called out. A scrawny redhead emerged from behind the noodle stand. “You didn’t close the gate before you ran in here crying?!”

“I-I thought I hit the button,” he said, fully standing now, head down and shaking. “I’m sorry, I swore I hit the button.”

“Yeah, we get it, you’re sorry,” MacCready rolled his eyes and began to turn. “Now help us fix it, dummy!”

MacCready, Danny, and the handful of guards entered the Fens. Danny bolted towards the gate's controls while the guards rushed towards their fallen friend. MacCready kicked the arm of a Raider out from under the path of the descending gate as Danny frantically fumbled with the controls.  

“What do you need, Boss?” MacCready asked, descending to meet her at her side. Nik managed to remove the guards chest armor and shirt. Her hands were covered in dark red blood.

“There’s a first aid kit in my bag,” she started, shrugging the bag off as MacCready grabbed it and began to open it. “Give me all the gauze in there.”

He removed the kit from her bag, noticing a Pip-Boy lying beneath it. He set the bag aside and opened the kit, sending a bundled wad of mismatched cloth and a roll of actual medical gauze into his lap.

“Uh, here you go,” he said, handing the roll to her.

“I need all of it,” she pulled the mass of cloth towards her with her free hand, then ripped the end of the gauze off of the roll with her teeth. Her other hand was occupied with plugging the wound. “Hold this here,” she said to MacCready, pushing the cloth into the man’s side, making him scream louder than he already was. MacCready squirmed a little as Nik began applying the gauze tightly around his torso. 

“I’m trying to slow the bleeding. I’m not seeing an exit wound, and… fuck, the bullet could be anywhere,” she looked around frantically, desperately trying to figure out what to do next. She looked up and saw she was surrounded by fully able-bodied men, just fucking standing there, and felt her head begin to pound.

“Can one of you useless motherfuckers go get Dr. Sun? Or McDonough?! Or anybody?!” She yelled, a crazed look on her face. “Anyone? Fucking do something!” Her words appeared to break them out of their daze as a few of them scattered into the city while some others took employee exits into the outer area to look for any possible remaining Raiders.

“I have a Stimpak on me,” one of them said before leaving, reaching into a pouch tied to his waist.

MacCready rolled his eyes as Nik’s head dropped. 

“Oh, were we waiting to use that until after he died, or…” MacCready said sarcastically, readjusting his hands on the bundle of soaked cloth.

“Sorry,” the guard said, handing it to Nik. She removed the needle cap with her teeth and jabbed it into his side, sending the guard into pain-induced unconsciousness. She winced at the sight and shook her head. 

“That might not do it. He needs to go inside if he has any chance of being stabilized.”

MacCready looked around again, unsure if he was even looking for anything. He turned to Nik. “Can you hold this still if I carry him in?”

Nik looked at him like he was crazy. “Well, yeah, but, these guys are pretty heavy, I struggled to move him from there to here.” 

MacCready grabbed her hands and secured them to the injured man’s side as he stood, rounded to his opposite side, then bent at the knees. He put one arm under the man’s neck and the other beneath his legs. Nik stared at his thighs without thinking while he braced himself, entirely doubting their ability to support the brute of a man. 

“On three. One, two,” MacCready nodded at her as the two rose to their feet. His face strained slightly, but he managed to stand in one slow, fluid motion. Nik began to walk backwards, then side-step, then backwards again as the two carried the man into the city center.

"'Green Bean', huh?" he said, voice straining. Nik shot him a glare and scoffed.

"Shut the fuck up, MacCready."

Nik saw Dr. Sun round the corner then fall into a jog towards them.

“Gunshot wound to the side, rapid pulse, last alert about two minutes ago,” she said to the doctor, helping MacCready lower the man onto a rusted gurney outside of his clinic. “One stimpak given at the wound site. He's lost a lot of blood and his pulse will plummet any second now if he’s not stabilized.” MacCready rolled his shoulders and stretched his arms, looking at Nik as she continued to speak rapidly. He nervously crossed his arms, suddenly feeling vulnerable, before immediately dropping them again. They were sore as hell. He took a step back instead.

“Through and through?” the doctor asked, pulling gloves onto his hands and a tray of tools from a locked metal drawer.

“I couldn’t get a good enough look back there,” she said, beginning to lift the injured side of the man’s body. “Uh… yes, yes, here,” she said, revealing a wider, fleshier wound on the man’s back. Her stomach sank. 

“How far did you go in with the Stimpak?” Dr. Sun asked, pouring a bottle of straight alcohol onto the wound. The guard woke and screamed momentarily before passing out again. Nik frowned and shook her head.

“About five centimeters,” she replied, looking at her bloodied hands. Her fingers began to twitch as her eyes widened.

MacCready noticed this and walked up to her, putting a light hand on her shoulder and guiding her towards the sink. He turned on the faucet and slid the soap dispenser her way.

“Clean hands are safe hands, right?” he said, removing himself from the area again in case he was in the way. Nik felt her face run hot for a moment as she began to clean the blood and dirt off of her hands.

Ain’t no fucking way, she said to herself, squashing the feeling emerging in her stomach like a sick school girl. How the fuck did he know that saying? It was old when even she was a kid. She shook her hands dry and joined the doctor at work.

“McDonough will make my life Hell if I lose another one of these guys,” he said, pulling a piece a few pieces of gravel from the open wound then reaching for a bundle of wire and a suture hook.

~

MacCready watched the two from a stool at the noodle bar, occasionally answering the questions of the townsfolk who passed by.

Who were they? It sounded like a hundred of them. Was anyone hurt? Did you get them all? Are we safe? Is there a hole in the walls?

Where’s the mayor?

At one point Piper emerged with a pen and notepad, saw MacCready, and turned right back around towards Nik instead.

“Nah, not busy trying to save a life or anything,” MacCready said to himself, resting his head against his open palm. His thoughts moved a mile a minute.

This person was the wired redhead he met at the Third Rail. Determined, quick, sharp instincts, confident.

’When the pressure is really on me I get shit done, and done right.’ He remembered her saying before. 

Experienced, fearless, loud.

Smart, articulate.

Hot.

MacCready shook his head and turned away from the clinic. “Don’t even start,” he said to himself, removing his hat to wipe his forehead. It was hard to not think about how she looked while shooting a gun. 

Could’ve been a one off, another voice in his mind said. He shook his head again and smirked.

Yeah, could’a been. But I don't know. That was experience. The shooting, the movement, the medical response. 

An image of Nik drawing her pistol, causing the bottom of her jacket to rise and reveal her lower back, flashed into his mind.

Nuh-uh. Nope.

~

Nik took a seat next to MacCready, who was looking down and fidgeting with his fingers. He jumped, not hearing her at all before she was right next to him.

“God,” he said, putting a hand on his chest. “I need to put a freakin’ bell on you.”

Nik chuckled and lit a cigarette, pushing the pack towards MacCready. He nodded in gratitude and took one.

“He gonna make it?” he asked, flipping his lighter shut with a clack.

Nik took a long draw, then exhaled slowly. “Not sure. We did everything we could.” she said, flicking the cigarette. “Proper surgery is too risky in a place as filthy as this.”

MacCready nodded and looked at her hands. Neither spoke for a moment as the adrenaline from the last hour began to wear off.

“I stand corrected,” he said, finally. Nik looked at him.

“Told you so,” she muttered, too exhausted to pretend she didn’t know what he meant. “When the pressure’s on, or whatever.” She gave a weak smile and a pathetic salute. He laughed and looked down, trying not to blush.

“So, uh…” he started, unsure of how to phrase his thoughts. “If that’s the case… earlier, in the worst spot imaginable, why did you go looking through that bus like that?”

Nik looked at him flatly.

“I ran out of cigarettes.”

Chapter Text

Nik stood against a wooden post near the crop fields, listening as the city folk gathered and talked amongst themselves. Mayor McDonough summoned the city for an emergency meeting in the wake of the Raider attack.

“There’s nothing to fear, everyone!” The large man bellowed, extending his arms outwards. “Our great city will not fall to the likes of such filth, such mutiny!” 

Nik looked up at the man with crossed arms. Mutiny? Wrong word to use, buddy. 

Freudian slip?

He continued. “The breach of our beautiful walls was of no fault of their own. Danny Sullivan,” he called out the name in a much louder tone. “Cowardly abandoned his post before properly securing the gate.” He gestured to his right as Danny walked up the steps in handcuffs, two guards holding each of his arms. Danny’s head was down but she could see tears on his face. “Rest assured Danny will be punished for his incompetence. Though we may have lost a few great men,” Nik looked to her left and saw an older woman crying into the arms of what appeared to be her husband. Her mind was quiet, yet she couldn’t help the immediate swelling behind her eyes as her vision blurred with unfallen tears. McDonough continued, a balled fist tucked against his chest. “We will stand united as a city! And I, as your mayor, will never abandon you. And more importantly, we will never lose our faith in our beautiful, righteous walls; the work of the divine!”

McDonough took a bow, seemingly expecting to be met with applause. Instead the crowd quietly dispersed while a solemn feeling saturated the air.

“Must not be used to being reminded of the real world.” MacCready said, suddenly appearing at her side. Nik hastily wiped her eyes as she turned to face him.

“Death is hard. Especially for those who never see it,” she replied, fully standing.

“Mhm,” he replied nonchalantly, folding his arms against his chest. “So, how we doing, Boss? Talk about getting side-tracked, huh?”

Nik scoffed and shook her head. “I wanted to be at least halfway to Fort Hagen by now.” She craned her neck and forced herself to not fall into a mental spiral of self-punishment. 

“Hey. It happens up here,” he said, giving her a fake punch on the arm. Nik looked down at the action then back up at his face with just her eyes. “You can never do just one thing, nothing ever goes to plan, y’know.”

Nik wiped her arm where he touched it. He pretended not to care.

Silence.

"I, uh... I heard from some upper-stands folk that Johnny might live," he added in a slightly more serious tone. "That's pretty cool."

Nik nodded. "Yeah."

Silence lingered between them again. On the back of the awkwardness came invasive images of her mental breakdown. She squeezed her eyes shut, hard, as if that would wipe the memory from existence. Her head fell back in quick resignation, knowing damn well if she didn't say something now, it would continue to fester until it overwhelmed her.

“Listen, MacCready, real quick,” she said, sighing hard. “About yesterday,”

“We kicked butt.” He cut her off, nodding to himself. Nik rolled her shoulders in frustration.

“So help me God…”

“Sorry, go ahead, Boss.” 

She stared at him, the pain of her intrusive thoughts not so prominent anymore; this man’s foolishness was grating.

“About yesterday,” she repeated in an impatient tone, lifting her finger to her face and pointing to it. The red streaks had faded into a light pink but were still slightly visible if one looked hard enough. “About all this shit.” MacCready’s eyes widened slightly as if he did not expect her to mention that. “I just wanted to apologize.”

He was silent for a moment, not really knowing what to say.

“Hey, don’t worry about it—“

“It was a bad day.” She said, more intensely now. “I. Apologize.”

MacCready backed up a little and shook his head. “Hey, you don’t gotta apologize to me,” he said, gesturing towards her face with his head. “And anyway, I’m about to head out on the open road with a loaded weapon. Nothing better than that. I’m fine!” he exclaimed, shoving his hands in his pockets. Nik eyed him suspiciously. MacCready stared back before continuing. “As long as you start listening to me for once, things should go alright.”

There it is.

“Yeah, and as long as you watch your fucking tone, I won’t…” she stopped, taking a deep breath through her nose. She turned and walked towards the market. MacCready smiled to himself and followed. 

Nik could feel her eyes begging to roll backward. This dynamic sucked. She had to remember this world was different now. She did not always have the upper hand anymore, and until she better understood her environment, she would have to listen to a man.

Nauseating.

“Anything I can do for ya, Boss?” MacCready asked as he looked around the market stalls. Nik dismissed her thoughts for the time being, sparing a quick glance for the clinic stationed to her left. She looked to the ground, then away again.

“Um… no, just… shop around, fit out your gun. Whatever you do. I’ve got food and aid covered.” She looked towards the red detective sign on the corner. “I’ll supplement the cost when the job’s finished. I’ve got to go see Nick and grab Dogmeat.” 

“Ah, right, your dog. Almost forgot,” he said, nervous about the idea of having an animal with them. Dogs are loud and unpredictable. Nik sensed his discomfort and immediately dismissed it. 

“Don’t forget to get something to eat,” she said flatly as she turned towards Nick's office.

"Oh I won't," he said, eagerly looking towards the noodle bar. "Oh, Nik, wait,"

Nik turned with closed eyes. "What, MacCready."

He brought his hand to his neck. "Before everything went to Hell last night, uh..." he anxiously stepped forward, bridging the gap between them so he didn't have to speak as loudly. "It seemed like you were opening up a little." She opened her eyes, looking off to the side awkwardly.

"Yeah, so."

"You think we'll be able to finish that conversation before we head out?"

Her hands twitched.

"If it's pertinent in your keeping me alive. Otherwise, I wouldn't count on it."

~

“You’ve really gone through a lot, haven’t ya? I hope you and Nick find that monster.” Nick’s secretary, Elie, opened and closed the door for Nik as she stepped into the office. Dogmeat ran forward and launched himself into her arms.

“Hey, boy,” Nik said, crouching to properly greet him. “How you doing?” Dogmeat wriggled around in joy while she scratched his head and neck.

“Not a moment too soon,” Nick called from around the corner. “He was starting to get ants in his pants, right, El?”

Elie laughed. “He was good company. Warm. Great snuggles!”

Nik smiled and stood again.

“Thank you for watching him,” she smiled at Elie before turning to Nick. “Well, good news. Found someone else to bring with me.”

The synth detective met them in the main room now, cigarettes and a lighter in hand. “Ah, well, I’d be lying if I said I was hoping you would. Been a while since I’ve been involved in a case so interesting.”

“You were just held captive in a vault for days straight, Nick.” Elie said, flabbergasted.

“Yeah, well, that was me. Not interesting. Anyway, who’s the lucky ticket?”

Nik sighed and took a seat.

“This, uh, ex-Gunner mercenary? From Goodneighbor of all places.” The detective’s yellow eyes clicked to the side to look at her.

“Ex-Gunner?” Elie asked, her face twisting with concern. “Uh, listen, honey, I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

Nik shrugged and sighed again. “Well… he made a big show about ‘quitting them for good’,” she said, holding her hands up in mock quotation. “Told me they’re basically a cult that murders whatever, whoever they want. He must have disagreed with the way they were running things.” She looked up at Elie, then to Nick, then back to Elie again. “Right?”

“Did he tell you that?”

“Uh… more or less, yeah.”

Nik recalled the conversation between MacCready and the two Gunners who hounded him at the Third Rail. Her recollection was foggy because she ended up drinking herself to sleep that night. She could clearly recall the vibe she got from the conversation, though. MacCready looked like he’d kill them right there because they were interfering with his work. 

That must have been what happened. He’d do just about anything for caps, including work for her sorry ass.

“I’m sure our friend appreciates your concern, Elie,” Nick said, rotating in the chair at his desk. “Might not appreciate what you’re insinuating about her judgment, though.”

Nik leaned forward and waved her arms. “No, no, no, I do appreciate it. Really. I do.” She paused for a moment, feeling a moment of camaraderie she hadn’t felt in… years. Not two centuries worth of years, but years as is relevant to her.

“Did he give you his name at least?” Elie asked.

“Uh, MacCready?”

“Oh, honey,” she laughed and shook her head. “Forget I said anything. You’ll be fine.”

“What do you mean?” Nik asked, one side of her mouth lifting into a smile. Nick chuckled once.

“He’s a great shot, but… that guy’s a jackass.”

The three of them laughed together as Nik stood from the chair, whistling for Dogmeat. The rambunctious canine eagerly met her at her feet.

“Oh, Nick, one more thing,” she said, turning away from the door. “Last night, the Raiders,”

Nick looked at her expectantly. 

“When they, uh… retreated, I heard one of them call another one ‘Billy’. Sounded like the ringleader of their… operation.” Nick and Elie looked at each other. The latter shrugged slightly. “Could he possibly be a leader of sorts, or something?”

He pondered for a moment. “Not sure. Raider gangs are typically unorganized and generally directionless. Only interested in raiding smaller settlements for drugs and resources. Most quote-unquote ‘leaders’ are killed and replaced within a year of instating themselves.”

Nik paused to consider, then nodded, understanding and trusting his words.

“Don’t worry,” he continued, waving her on. “McDonough’s already got traders coming in with supplies needed to reinforce the gate. And Danny’s been fired. Last I saw this morning, he was outside sweeping.”

Images of Danny in handcuffs flashed in her mind as a feeling of unease fell into her stomach. She opened her mouth to speak again, but stopped, giving a polite smile instead.

“Thanks again, guys. Come on, Dogmeat.”

Chapter Text

“Nuka… Cooolaaa, uuugh… Everything’s hazy…”

Nik looked down at an old grey man sitting against the wall outside of the corner between the market and Nick’s office. The man looked up to her. “Hey, Miss. Got any Nuka-Cola?” Dogmeat approached him, sniffed inquisitively, then sneezed.

“Uh… yeah, I think so. You alright?”

“Need… Nuka-Cola. So thirsty. Can’t go to the Dugout. Too much alcohol around.” Nik noticed his hands were trembling. Any suspicion on her part became squandered by an innate understanding.

“I can get you some.”

MacCready slowly poked at his bowl of noodles while taking in the commotion of the city. Hearing the same merchants repeat their rehearsed lines over and over again made him want to leave. He glanced around, looking for anything else to gain his attention. He spotted Nik near the far end of the market, talking to an old man sitting on the ground. She had extended her hand to help bring him to his feet. MacCready looked away nervously, suppressing a desire to simply sit and talk with her for a few hours. Maybe buy her a drink. Take her to a room.

He shifted in his seat uncomfortably, a need for a distraction escalating by the second.

To the far right end of the counter laid a stack of dirty papers folded upon themselves. Flipping the stack over, he saw the words “Publick Occurences” plastered across the top. Piper Wright’s newspaper. He hummed to himself as he flipped it open to the first page. “Let’s see what Lady First Amendment has to say.”

She always had a lot to say. But hey, at least she was pretty cute.

He read on. “View from the Vault” was the title. Arching his brow, he glanced behind himself quickly, making sure no one was paying him any mind. He became overwhelmed with the feeling he was seeing something he probably shouldn’t be. 

“Whenever I take a walk through Diamond City…”

“Yeah, yeah, it’s the greatest place that ever was,” he muttered to himself, skipping forward.

“So, as fortune often has it, I crossed paths with Nik. Vault dweller. A person who is experiencing the Commonwealth for the first time.”

MacCready immediately stopped. Stopped tapping his foot, stopped squirming against the stool, stopped everything. This was about her. When and why did she agree to do an interview? She struggled to tell him her first name.

Again, he checked his surroundings. In haste, he pushed his bowl away and laid the paper out in front of him.

“…we have to know who Nik is. Where she comes from. To my surprise, she did not have much to say about her life in the vault at all. Because she spent all that time staring at a piece of frozen glass. Every day. For over two centuries.”

MacCready’s eyes widened and he felt his heart beat in his throat. He checked behind both shoulders this time before he read on. 

“That’s right. She isn’t just a vault dweller, she’s an original vault dweller. She spent her entire time on the inside cryogenically suspended.”

MacCready shook his head, suppressing a nervous laugh. This can’t be real, right?

For a woman so passionate about journalism, there's no way Piper would have printed something that wasn’t true... right?

It was difficult for him to believe she actually sat down and talked to Piper of all people, given how abrasive she could be. And Nik was always so damn cold. Well, unless she was shooting a gun… or saving a life.

Did everyone know? What else did these people know that he didn’t?

His mind was racing.

He turned the paper over. 

“So what does Nik have to say about seeing Diamond City for the first time?

‘Honestly, seeing everyone surviving out here? Rebuilding the world? It gives me hope.’”

MacCready could not believe what he was reading. Nik was alive when the Great War started. Nik is over two-hundred years old. It couldn’t be real. There was just no way. He had heard and read plenty about how corrupt Vault-Tec was through his multi-mile travels throughout the Wastes. So it wouldn’t be too far-fetched to say the conglomerate had dedicated an entire vault to testing cryogenic suspension; freezing people alive in order to revive them after an impossibly inorganic stretch of time. Two-hundred years? That was her vault’s experiment? Did Kellogg have something to do with it?

Frozen, for two-hundred years. The woman who hired him, insulted him left and right, chugged alcohol like it was going out of style, criticized his words yet gave little of her own? The woman who panicked in crowded places yet answered a call to action without hesitation? 

The teeth. It had to be real.

His heart raced faster as he attempted to find the last sentence he read so he could continue. She could show up at any moment. She had a knack of appearing unannounced in his peripheral vision. He was becoming disgustingly nervous.

“Our outsider hasn’t let the cynicism of our strange world get the better of her.”

“That’s not how baseball was played,” he heard a familiar voice say as he immediately threw the paper to the ground, kicking it under the counters and towards Takahashi’s kitchen. He rubbed his neck with his left hand as he pulled his bowl towards him again and absentmindedly poked at its contents, centralizing whatever composure he had into his core as he knew that voice was headed his way.

After about ten seconds, Nik met MacCready at his side with Dogmeat at her heel. She took the stool next to him while Dogmeat sniffed at MacCready’s boots.

“Dogmeat,” she sighed, putting her head in her hands. She was tired. Not only was she tired, but she felt the threat of her anxiety beginning to rise as the inevitable future loomed in her mind. But what would have shut her down and sent her to the bottle in a past life was beginning to fuel her resolve; she expected the anxiety to continue growing out of control like it used to, but instead, she began feeling a reassuring sense of purpose and capability sprouting from the primal anger rooted deep within her core.

She couldn’t be drunk right now. Her baby was counting on her.

Her baby.

She thought of her son, who she grew, carried… birthed. Sacrificed her body, her already damaged nervous system… everything, to bring into this fucked up world. It was such a mistake and she knew it. No, her son wasn’t a mistake. He was treasured. But introducing life into a society so broken… that was a mistake. She foolishly held onto hope despite all the facts, quite literally, exploding in her face. But it wasn’t always like that.

There was, at one point, the resistance group she had joined. There was a time she saw a vision of the future not as bleak and futile, but vibrantly colored by a revolution. A collective reckoning. Justice for the beaten, impoverished, sacrificed and murdered. Retribution for those who displaced families from their homelands and prosecuted the innocent in the name of greed. Adequate consequences for the corporations responsible for the destruction of the planet and starvation of millions, long before the atom bomb became their final solution.

She could see mothers reuniting with their sons, fathers celebrating their daughters… children held, cherished… or simply playing in the backyard. Little hands in a cookie jar.

Instead, her son is currently surrounded by strangers, or twisted doctors, or ugly men with guns. And it was all her fault. 

Her tensed fingers arched over her forehead. She fought the urge, craning her neck instead as she sat up straight again.

Either use it or lose it, she thought to herself.

“So, you ready?” she asked, eyeing MacCready intensely. A noodle hung out of his mouth as he nervously looked back at her, then away again to wipe his face. Nik’s eye twitched.

“Yeah, sorry, um…” she turned to leave when MacCready abruptly put a hand on her arm. “Wait.” 

She grimaced and removed his hand. “Stop touching me.”

“Sorry, I just, uh…” he pushed his half-empty bowl aside and turned to face her. He didn’t speak for a moment and Nik continued to stare at him with a ‘what-the-fuck’ look in her eye.

“What is wrong with you?” she finally asked, becoming impatient. MacCready sighed and stood from his seat, then bent over to retrieve the paper he discarded under the counter. 

“This,” he said, holding it up so she could see. Her eyes began to widen but she suppressed it.  

“Oh.”

“Yeah, oh,” he said in a mocking tone, returning to his seat. Nik immediately slapped his shoulder with the back of her hand.

“If you ever mock me again I will fuck you up.”

He acted like he didn’t feel it. “Mm-hm, okay. Care to explain?” Not only was MacCready looking for answers about her time in the vault, he was looking for context surrounding his current job. If Kellogg worked for Vault-Tec or some other higher power, he wanted to know. How strong was this guy? Did he run with a group, like the Gunners or Raiders? What kind of weapons were they partial to? Hell, what did he look like?

While considering these questions, he failed to consider the possible human turmoil one would face waking up two-hundred years after everything they had ever known had been destroyed by nuclear warfare, or how disoriented and hopeless one would feel after stepping into the Wasteland for the first time, lost and alone.

Or, anything else he may have been missing.

She snatched it from his hand and attempted to rip it in half. It took more effort than she anticipated because it was folded and rather thick. 

“I had just gotten here and Piper was up my ass.” She looked at him in panic then noticed he was smiling, as if he had one-uped her. That quickly made him her target. 

“It’s a newspaper, need me to teach you how to read?” she snapped, failing with her dramatic show of attempted destruction. She resorted to throwing it towards a nearby trash can.

MacCready laughed loudly, a hint of edge in his tone. “Nice one!”

Nik didn’t laugh. “How much of it did you read?”

He moved to reply, unaware of the tone between them crashing fast. He was imagining that invisible scoreboard while she imaged the blood from her husband's brain spraying onto her infant son's face.

“I read about the gerbils, about how this place gives you hope!” His tone was flippant. He still didn’t notice the rage brewing on Nik’s face, or the fact her hands were balling into fists. “About how you’re two-hundred years old, y’know. Then I read the funnies.”

Nik flew to her feet as she geared her fist back, then threw it forward, missing MacCready’s head by an inch and landing against a piece of metal scaffolding supporting the roof of the bar.

“How much did you fucking read, MacCready?!”

He threw his hands up and cowered, completely caught off guard. “Jesus christ, what the hell?!" Dogmeat stood at the ready at her feet and everyone within a ten-foot radius turned to look at them. "That was it!"

Her stare burned straight through his skull. “You sure about that?”

MacCready looked up at her, not doing a good job of hiding just how confused he was. “Yes. I’m, sorry?”

Nik was unsure whether he was being truthful or not. Would he seriously have the audacity to even try saying Shaun’s name right now?

Either way, she couldn’t stand to be in this man’s presence anymore. But she didn’t have a choice.

“Whatever.” She said, beginning to grab her things, repressing the overwhelming urge to tell him to take a fucking hike.

“Nik, look, I was just jo–”

“You know what, MacCready?” she said, maniacally smiling as she secured her bag over her shoulder. “I’m going to need you to shut the fuck up right now.” She shook her head at herself. What a fool she was. “Part of the reason I wanted you on this job with me is because I thought you were smart. I thought you were aware.” Her tone raised in intensity and sarcasm as she went on. “I thought to myself, hey, this guy seems kind of different! He’s got the experience I’m looking for, but he’s not trying to slit my throat or fuck me against my will, or, you know, slit my throat and fuck me against my will at the same time, whatever, you know how it is,” she waved her right hand downwards theatrically. He looked at her, his pathetic expression falling into one significantly more serious. He stood now, attempting to feel less small from beneath her. “It’s only been, what, three days now since I hired you? Four? I don’t know. This whole damn time, I’ve been having a pretty fucking hard time saying much of anything. To anyone. Right?”

MacCready opened his mouth to reply but her rant continued.

“Right. You’ve even been nagging at me to open up about it. And what was my reply?”

He started to answer, but again was cut off.

“Riiight! So instead of maybe asking me with even a hint of respect,” she snapped, bringing her fingers into a pinched position in front of his face, “you decide it’s a good fucking idea to wave that shit in my face like it’s a fucking joke?”

MacCready didn’t try to speak anymore. A guard stationed nearby began to approach them.

“Back off, peewee,” Nik snapped, holding a flat hand up in front of the guard’s chest. “Heaven forbid you have to do any actual work for once. We’ll be on our way.” She stepped to the side and into the walkway towards the city exit. She turned back and glared at MacCready again, who had an unreadable expression on his face. She leaned forward and whispered into his ear, not wanting anyone else to hear her target’s name. “New contract. Keep all the fucking caps. You take me to Kellogg’s front door. As soon as I kill that bastard, you can fuck off.” She started walking again and whistled for Dogmeat, who was happily wagging his tail as they made their way towards the exit. MacCready looked around at everyone staring at him, then sighed, hard. 

Nice going.

Four-hundred cap job, then back to Goodneighbor. 

~

The early morning sun hid behind a gentle overcast of wispy grey clouds. It wasn’t nearly as bright as yesterday, which offered MacCready a small bit of relief. He was trailing closely behind Nik and Dogmeat as the canine, somewhat surprisingly, guided them along tactically. He did a good job at indicating which way to go without straying ahead too far without Nik close behind. She moved steadily and silently, aside from the occasional praise towards Dogmeat. She was now armed with an automatic rifle and her pistol was holstered on her thigh. She only slept for ninety minutes last night, before she spent the rest of the night and early morning modifying her rifle and reinforcing her armor while MacCready was at the Inn, sleeping in a room she paid for.

They had not spoken a word to each other since leaving. If he had to be honest, he felt like a bonafide idiot. But he struggled to admit that to himself. How was he supposed to know she’d get so upset?

Don’t be an asshole. All the signs were there.

He twitched his head to silence the thought.

The first stop was at a small pond just a few yards outside of the city. MacCready kept his ears open for the sound of insects while Nik approached an old lawn chair laying on its side, on a small dock next to a makeshift table made out of a single cardboard box. On top of said box, she found another cigar. She held it up to Dogmeat and said, “What do you think, boy? Enough to go on?”

The voice she used when talking to Dogmeat made him feel... something. He struggled to keep his head up and ignore the shame he felt. In a past life, he wouldn’t have cared about how she felt. He would have strictly thought only about work, caps, and booze, and most definitely wouldn’t be this concerned with the emotions of others. But, a lot had changed in the last few years, and he was beginning to understand the ways it was changing him.

The further they ventured away from Diamond City, the more his attention was called to their surroundings. They were rapidly approaching a forest area. 

Without much warning, the ground exploded with a small brood of mole rats and Nik clicked at Dogmeat to signal to him to fall back before she sprayed them down herself. MacCready kept an eye on the greater area as she did so. They were moving further west into the forest, and given the region they were in, more rabid animals were practically guaranteed.

“The longer we go this way, the more likely we are to run into more animals, just so you know.” He said, finding his full voice only halfway through the sentence. He cringed at himself. Nik gave a swift and silent thumbs up and continued walking along the train tracks Dogmeat was leading them onto.

MacCready looked to the sky for a moment and took a deep breath. He needed to get a grip. Whatever competitive or flirtatious angle he was working back in the city was pathetic, he decided. He had obviously been distracted by her body and attitude, so much so he was forgetting how bossy and dismissive she was in the beginning, and it was throwing him off more than it was worth. To be so weak so as to not be able to handle himself and his feelings? Pathetic. Wanting to be closer to her despite her showing absolutely zero signs of interest? Pathetic. Completely disregarding her feelings and acting like he had no idea what visceral heartache looked and felt like because he was too nervous to have an adult conversation?

Fucking, pathetic. 

Losing sight of the prospect of caps, of his main goal to send money back home? Screwing up a possible steady flow of income? He couldn't think about it.

He suddenly thought of Lucy and it made his chest hurt. She had a way of talking to him that made mature conversation and resolution come easy. 

That’s because you respected her.

He twitched his head again.

MacCready’s attention snapped upwards as he felt a vibration in his chest. He lunged towards Nik and put himself in front of her. A quarter of a mile ahead of them stood their threat, occupied with a Hubflower bush. Nik looked around frantically.

“Straight north, by the bushes. Yao Guai, run then shoot. They’re relatively slow.”

“What the fuck is a Yao Guai?!”

“Bear.”

Nik immediately moved towards a cluster of trees and Dogmeat stayed behind her. MacCready kept a close eye on the animal and readied his rifle. 

“It’ll run this way once we start shooting. If it gets too close, just run. On the count of three.”

Nik nodded and waited for his cue.

“One, two, three.” Both rifles sounded in unison, her shot landing in the upper torso while his, the head. The Yao Guai roared loudly then ran towards them, fangs bared.

“Oh no you don’t,” MacCready shouted, firing another round to the head. Nik prepared to shoot again, but MacCready managed to land another shot before the creature came too close. It fell into a heap as it slid into the dirt.

“That’s how we do things around here!” he exclaimed, promptly reloading his magazine. He looked at Nik, who was already staring at him. She had a disgusted look on her face. She turned away to continue forward, passing the Yao Guai as she did. MacCready cursed silently at himself.

Dogmeat barked an alert after crossing an empty highway. Straight ahead of them laid a bundle of bloodied bandages next to a stained mattress and an overturned lantern. Nik’s face twisted in anger, then satisfaction.

“What do you think, huh? Think that bastard got hurt out here?” She said, allowing Dogmeat to investigate the smell.

“Most likely,” MacCready said, looking up and outwards over the median.

“I was talking to the dog.” She replied flatly, waiting for Dogmeat to take point again. MacCready didn’t respond.

Heading northwest, he noticed they were approaching a small town with a few houses and vehicles scattered about. He raised his rifle to look through the scope, expecting to see Raiders inhabiting the houses. Instead, he saw the disgustingly pale bodies of feral ghouls sleeping on the ground. His stomach twisted and his heart rate elevated. 

“Nik, stop,” he said, lowering his rifle to get a better look of the wider area. She immediately stopped and waited for him to explain, beginning to survey the area more intensely herself. “Feral ghouls, all around those cars. Looks to be about... fifteen, maybe more. If we shoot two at the same time it’ll send the rest our way. We need to be prepared to run and shoot, or we can find an elevated area to engage from.”

“I’ve got a better idea,” she said, moving her backpack to her side as she crouched to the ground. Dogmeat stayed still and silent. “Cover me.” 

He looked back and forth thoroughly, keeping a sharp eye on the area in front of them. His brow furrowed. He hated those disgusting freaks. He glanced down quickly to see what she was doing.

“You ever wonder what the bombs felt like?” she said, removing a large explosive from her bag. MacCready’s eyes widened at the sight.

“What is that?”

“Grenade. Slightly modified, secret family recipe." She smiled devilishly as she tied her bag shut. "Cover your ears and be prepared to intercept stragglers. We both run back if we get overwhelmed. Understood?” 

“Understood.” He said, watching her as she threw the grenade a good eighty feet ahead, grunting in pain before bringing her hands down quickly to cover Dogmeat’s ears. MacCready covered his own and flinched as the grenade landed in the middle of the cluster of cars. One ghoul began to rise as the grenade exploded, starting a massive chain reaction as four of the five vehicles exploded almost in unison.

MacCready flinched, hard, as Nik held her head to Dogmeat’s side. They both looked up after the initial blasts, scanning the area for activity. She also looked behind them for a moment in case the sound attracted unwanted attention. After a solid minute of remaining still, Nik stood back up, giving Dogmeat a reassuring pat on the head.

“I’m grateful that one worked. I’ve got a better one with Kellogg’s name on it,” she said, looking through her scope to search for more ferals. “Ope, cover your ears Mac,” she said quickly. His stomach dropped at the use of the nickname as he immediately obeyed. The fifth vehicle that was set on fire after the initial blast finally exploded, sending a miniature mushroom cloud into the sky. That explosion was not nearly as loud as the first but it still sent a guttural sense of horror through his body. 

"Now imagine that, a hundred times bigger, in your backyard!" she hollered, seemingly imitating a salesman from an old pre-war commercial he had seen down south once. She appeared invigorated by the explosions she just caused. She laughed once before whistling for Dogmeat to begin leading again.

MacCready had to force himself to move. His mouth hung open as he was considering two things: one, the fact the human race still existed was a miracle in and of itself. And two, she was beginning to act like she did at the Third Rail.

The group headed strictly west again, leaving the town in their wake. Dogmeat was still following the smell of the bloodied rags as a faint, inhuman voice sounded from the top of the hill half a mile in front of them. MacCready extended his arm out in front of Nik who had already stopped, as she had heard it too.

“What is that,” she whispered, pushing his arm away as a deep sense of dread crawled on her skin.

“We might have to go around. That sounds like an assaultron.”

“Oh, hell no,” she said, immediately turning and running back. She thought of KL-E-O and the laser mounted in its head. She could not imagine being the target of a machine like that. “We go around.” she said, picking up her pace as Dogmeat galloped to keep up.

“Then we’d have to go miles out of the way to make sure we don’t alert it,” MacCready said quickly, keeping pace with her.

“I don’t care. Those things freak me out. Over here,” she said, ducking behind a small wall of rock. MacCready looked back, unravelling his binoculars from his waist to get a better look. On the top of the hill laid a destroyed assaultron, circuits firing from its body, not a single limb fully attached to its torso. MacCready felt relieved and horrified at the same time. The assaultron was disengaged, but someone or something stronger than itself destroyed it. 

“Uh, Nik?” he said, lowering the binoculars from his face. 

“What?”

“It’s, uh… it’s down.” he said, rubbing the back of his neck.

“It’s down? Like, dead?” she asked, standing up again, looking in the direction of the hill. He nodded, gesturing for her to take the binoculars and see for herself.

“Jesus…” she whispered, shivering once. She handed the binoculars back. “I pray to God I don’t ever have to take one of those down myself.”

Approaching the assaultron, Dogmeat ran forward to inspect it.

“Known Mercenary. Exercise extreme caution.” 

Nik and MacCready looked at each other, then back towards the robot as it continued to speak.

“Alert: Critical.”

Nik slowly approached it, relieved to see the laser in its head completely destroyed. “This had to be Kellogg.”

“Attention assailant. Lower your w-weapon.”

“Tell me where he went, tin can.” Nik demanded, kicking it with her boots and worsening the robot's dialogue processors.

“Identity of a-assailant: K-kellogg. A-assailant r-route tracked. P-pursuit possible to n-n-northwest.” Nik looked in that direction before the robot spoke again. “I can’t feel my legs.”

Nik moved back in horror before removing her pistol and shooting it three times in the head. The flashing from the torn circuitry faded into nothing as the machine fully powered down. She remained frozen for a moment and MacCready sensed she was feeling uneasy.

“Kellogg’s pretty smart. He’s doing everything he can to keep people off his trail.” he said, sounding deliberately cocky.

Nik shot him an intense glare, promptly snapping out of it, and continued forward. He smirked at himself.

At least it worked.

“We’re getting close.” Nik said, observing an abandoned military tank sitting in the road. She stared at the solid white stars painted on its side. Her fingers closed in around her rifle tightly until her knuckles turned white.

MacCready used his binoculars to get a better look. They were still about half of a mile away.

She took a moment to pet Dogmeat’s head and hand him a piece of jerky she bought from the meat stall in Diamond City. “Tough guy’s not too smart, now, is he?” Dogmeat huffed in agreement. 

MacCready lowered the binoculars from his face, revealing an offended expression. “What?” 

“Not, you,” Nik said back to him, rolling her eyes. “I’m talking about that fuck,” she said, gesturing her head towards the fort. “He got sniffed out by a dog and the pathetic vault dweller, huh, imagine that!” She said sarcastically, moving past him in a huff. He sighed and followed.

“Are you expecting any defense on the outside?” MacCready asked, making an effort to shift his mindset back to business. “I saw some turrets on the roof. Do you think they’re active? How were these bunkers set up before the war?” He immediately flinched. He should not be asking about anything pre-war after the way he behaved in Diamond City. She was not an encyclopedia.

To his surprise, Nik began to answer, though her visual attention remained on her path ahead, with the occasional check on Dogmeat. 

“They functioned more like offices in the beginning. Bases of operation, recruitment centers, supply storages, whatever.  As protests intensified, they put up concrete barriers and walls of sandbags outside the doors as if concerned civilians were trained in guerrilla warfare.” She paused, looking back and forth for a moment. She tilted her head to the right and signaled to MacCready to follow her towards an old parking booth surrounded by a collection of trees. She climbed onto a low crook in the branches and leaned against the wall, allowing Dogmeat to lay in the booth itself under the cover of a counter. Nik gestured with her head to tell MacCready to sit. He nodded in acknowledgment, choosing to sit on a stump in front of her, looking outwards to keep watch. She pulled two cigarettes from her satchel and extended one over his shoulder, waiting for him to take it. He didn’t notice until she tapped his face with it.

“Oh, thanks,” he said, taken off guard. She lit hers then handed him the lighter. 

After a few moments of silence, Nik continued to speak. “In the months leading up to the bombs, machine gun turrets began popping up all over government buildings, the stockpile up north, police stations. All roofs, all corners, all entry points. They were the military’s new toy and the government couldn't wait to shove them in our faces.” She paused to take a long hit. She started to question why she was talking to him so much when just a couple of hours ago she wanted to rip his head off. She shrugged to herself and decided there was too much at stake to worry about looking tough in front of him when they were right outside Kellogg's vacation home. Also, the more he knew, the better her chances of surviving were. This was all tactical.

As was the smoke break.

Get in, kill Kellogg, report back to Nick, ditch the jackass. Simple.

She continued her rambling before she could give that topic much more thought.

“They always claimed they were set to offline by default and would only be used in the case of a ground invasion by the Chinese, but… ground invasions were primarily a threat on the west coast." She paused, staring ahead into nothing. "I always thought they were full of shit, and just waiting for an excuse to flex their muscles and kill more of us with them.”

Us? MacCready thought to himself. Did she mean her community as a whole? 

She sighed. “Fully armed soldiers were outside at all times. At least three in full Power Armor suits. But, uh… I don’t expect to see any of those any time soon.” He paused for a moment, realizing she probably had no idea where the majority of the suits went.

“Anyway,” she continued, making a point to not flick her cigarette into the top of MacCready’s hat. “I should probably let you know what I’m expecting once we get inside.”

“Okay.” he replied earnestly, continuing to look back and forth as they sat. Nik noticed a tuft of hair curling out from beneath his hat and falling along the back of his ear. 

“The bunker itself will run deep. The greater half of it is underground. Worst case scenario, Kellogg’s on the bottom floor. If for some reason the elevator is inoperable or compromised, we may be dealing with a lot of stairways, hallways, and open corners, with possible defensive measures at every turn.” She paused, and he looked up at her for a moment before turning away again. “Could be paid help, could be more turrets, could be… whoever the fuck he’s working for. I don’t know. It’s going to be a lot.”

He dug the butt of his cigarette into the ground and handed her lighter back to her over his shoulder. She flicked hers in the direction of the tank.

Silence.

“Whatever happens…” Nik finally said, taking a deep breath. “This is very important to me and I appreciate your help.” She didn’t know how much of the paper he read and she still didn’t want to talk about it, especially now. But no matter how much he annoyed her or how angry she was earlier, in the name of her baby and all that remains good in the world, she would give thanks to whoever assisted her, even if it was paid for. She physically could not handle keeping those words to herself; it all meant too much.

Especially now, in her rapidly increasing state of mania.

MacCready, in his own right, sighed and rolled his shoulders. If he was ever going to clear his bad karma with her, this would be his last chance.

“Don’t worry. We can do this.” She didn’t respond so he stood to his feet. She shifted her weight onto her other foot and looked towards the ground. She didn't know what she was feeling. MacCready bent down a little to try to look into her face. “You can do this. I mean it, Nik. You’re good at what you do. It’s kind of scary sometimes.”

She repressed a smirk before moving her eyes to look at him. He fully stood again and cracked his back.

“I don’t know what your end goal is here. Hell, I don’t need to know anything besides whatever you decide to tell me. Whatever might help me keep you alive,” he stammered out, expecting her to cut him off at any moment. She didn't, and he fought all urges to back down. “You point and I shoot, right? It’s a pretty simple arrangement!” He extended his arms outwards in a flourish and looked towards her, attempting to engage with her as he assessed her energy. She simply nodded and looked towards the ground again, letting him continue. “But I’ve seen a lot of combat in my life. For as long as I can remember. It’s all I’ve ever known. Not that my word means much, but…" he said, nervously rubbing his neck with his hand. "You should know, you’re good. Like, really good. I don’t know what experience you have but judging by the way you handle yourself, it's serving you well here.”

Her mind fell silent as it chose to protect itself. Compliments did not process smoothly.

“I’m not fishing, I promise,” he stammered out, aware of how he was sounding and the fact she was beginning to close herself off. He took the cue and wrapped up his spiel, deciding to end on a point he felt was important to make. “I’m not expecting anything from you, either. I just, wanted to say that.”

She managed to look into his eyes for a split second. She felt herself steady a little.

“Thanks, MacCready.” She hopped down from the tree and punched him in the shoulder, hard. “And fuck you for earlier.”

MacCready inhaled through his teeth and squeezed his shoulder. “I deserved that.” Nik stepped to the side to check on Dogmeat who was taking a nap in the booth. “You can really throw, you know that?”

She looked back towards him. “Yes. Yes I do.”

MacCready shook his head and continued to rub his arm. He suddenly remembered a question he had forgotten to ask.
“Hey, Nik, wait,” he said, wincing at himself. He didn't want to, but he needed to ask this one. “I'm sorry, but... do you remember what he looks like?" 

Nik stopped in her tracks, then turned to face him.

"Bald, five-o-clock shadow, a long scar down his face."

MacCready nodded, mentally storing the information. Nik continued. 

"In short? Ugly as fuck."

Chapter Text

“One, two… three…” Nik said as she shifted herself to the right in an attempt to get a better view. MacCready watched her use his binoculars to scope out the turret situation surrounding the fort.

“Oh, four… five, six, Jesus Christ, are we done yet?”

MacCready sighed. Picking off a few turrets from long range shouldn’t be too hard. He couldn’t help but to look at her midsection as she stretched upwards and he did so for as long as her eyes were occupied.

“Well, what do you think?” She asked, stepping down from her perch, snapping him out of it.

“I think we better keep our distance until they’re taken out, that’s what I think.” 

“Hm…” she looked around for an operable vantage point. “How about up there?” She asked, pointing towards a neighboring building that was slightly taller and longer than the outer frame of the fort. She rocked back and forth on her heels. “Looks like we could hit the ones in the back from up there, too.”

MacCready looked, noting an external roof access door reinforced by concrete. Perfect for cover.

“Sounds like a plan. But uh, what about Dogmeat?”

Nik looked down, smiling at her furry companion. He had woken up from his short nap and was wagging his tail at the attention he was getting. Nik crouched down in front of him.

“You did such a good job, buddy. Thank you,” she said, leaning her head against his. He licked her cheek. “You’ve got to stay back for this part, okay?”

After about thirty minutes the two descended a ladder on the side of the neighboring building and approached the entrance to Fort Hagen. She was panting slightly, her adrenaline slowly beginning to rise.

MacCready followed close behind. “Geez, we’re not even inside yet.” he said, slightly shaken after making himself the primary target of a mini military-grade war machine.

“Right,” Nik agreed as she quickly ascended the stairs. "Fuck!" she said, noticing he front doors were completely blocked by a collapsed hallway on the inside. She turned and looked back and forth repeatedly, trying to remember another way to access the building. MacCready looked at her expectantly. “Follow me.”

Nik moved with her rifle drawn as she descended two levels of an attached parking garage. She stopped at every corner to assess before continuing. MacCready stayed directly behind her.

“Does this mean there will be activity above us if we aren’t able to clear from the top?” he asked, mentally picturing the building with a quarter of it unassessed above them.

“I fucking hope not.”

She walked up to the only door on the bottom level of the garage and pulled a screwdriver and a bobby pin from an outer pocket in her backpack. Meeting the lock at eye-level, she put the two objects in the lock, fidgeting the bobby pin and listening for moving tumblers. MacCready stood behind her, originally keeping watch, then turning towards her in curiosity. He smiled as the door finally clicked open and Nik put the screwdriver away.

“Nice trick, Hotshot.” he said, smiling in the cocky way he does when he says something smart.

“Want me to teach you sometime?” she replied condescendingly, looking at him with an apprehensive glare.

She turned away, readying her rifle again and mentally preparing herself. Her thoughts were temporarily broken by the sound of MacCready’s voice.

“Yes, please,” he said, sounding considerably smoother than normal and it made her pause. She took a deep, shaky breath and continued forward, pretending not to hear it.

A set of stairs began to their left, while straight ahead of them, another door.

“Watch the stairs,” she said, moving towards the door with the intent to clear the room behind it. She turned the door knob and noted it wasn’t locked, but when she went to push it open, she could hear the sound of rattling chains from the other side. “Oh. Reassuring,” she said sarcastically, turning back towards MacCready. “Chained from the other side. I guess we go this way.”

“At least it’s going up from right here,” he said, rifle pointed forward as he took point up the steps. “We’ve got a better chance of doing a full sweep. No ambush.”

“Good point,” Nik started, standing close behind him as they ascended the stairs. They began to turn the corner of the stairwell when a strange voice sounded from the landing ahead.

“Is someone present?”

MacCready immediately stretched an arm backwards to reach towards Nik, who had frozen in fear. His hand landed on her arm and he backed both of them down the stairs, as slowly as his body would allow. She did not protest any of these actions.

“What. Was. That,” she whispered, pushing herself flat against the wall of the original hallway. MacCready still stood in front of her, covering her from the open stairwell.

“Nik…” he whispered back, feeling uneasy, but only slightly. This wasn’t the first time he had dealt with these. But it was his first time dealing with them in these particular set of circumstances. “It’s not an assaultron.”

“Oh, thank god,” she said, letting her voice rise in volume slightly. MacCready immediately shushed her again.

“It’s a synth,” he said, turning his head to look at her. “Have you run into any of these yet?”

“Uh… not besides Nick, no, I don’t think? How do you know? Wouldn’t it sound human if it was a synth?” she asked, recalling the incident she witnessed her first day in Diamond City, and all the rumors surrounding McDonough.

He turned his head back and sighed, anxiously listening for any activity.

“Not all of them do. Listen, Boss, this is what I’m thinking,” he said quietly, side-stepping them further into the corner. “The voice is unmistakable. It’s a second generation synth. It’ll basically look like Valentine without clothes on.”

“Oh,” she said, slightly grimacing at the thought, but shrugging overall. “That should be pretty easy to blow apart.”

“Yeah, one is,” he said, suddenly realizing the totality of what they must be dealing with. In an instant, several pieces of Nik’s broken and unfinished story came together in his mind, culminating in a flurry of mental images 

Synth. Kellogg. Vault-Tec, a body of power.

Escaped, angry vault dweller.

Second generation synth. They are never seen deployed alone... from their creator, an even greater body of power.

His eyes widened in realization.

“Oh, fuck,” he said, his head falling as he scratched the back of his neck.

“What, MacCready? What?” she whispered anxiously.

“I think Kellogg’s with the Institute,” he said, the words laced with a hint of strained laughter. How in the hell did someone as lowly as him end up in the crosshairs of the Institute?

He waited for Nik to say something.

“I… I don’t really know what that is,” she said, voice nearly breaking. He took a deep breath and steadied himself.  It’d be a hell of a lot easier to just walk away right now.

Don’t you dare, said multiple voices in his head.

Four-hundred caps, said one.

She needs help, said the other.

He lifted his head again, twisting his face in resignation.

Fine.

He closed his eyes again; the images and conclusions that occupied his mind also resulted in a tentative plan of action.

“The synth. There will be more. My guess is, a lot more. Probably the whole way down to Kellogg.”

“Okay,” she replied, seemingly formulating calculations in her own mind. He continued.

“These toasters are armed with laser rifles,” he said, realizing he was currently a walking fire hazard.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” she whispered frantically, eyes wide. "Robots with laser rifles? What kind of space-age shit is that?"

MacCready shook his head, leaning forward to take his duster off. Nik watched him as he balled it up and threw it into a dark corner, then rolled up his long-sleeved green shirt. She noticed he was wearing a bracelet that reminded her of her necklace, but it was much thicker in structure. She also noticed the shadow of his muscle running along his forearm. MacCready thought she was questioning his choice to remove his jacket.

“I’d rather get some surface burns than be completely set on fire,” he said with a shrug. “You should be okay. You’re actually wearing the perfect kind of armor for this,” he said, looking over her leather armor set before meeting her eyes. “But, your hair.”

“Oh,” she said, quickly reaching into her pocket for a hair tie. She tied it up rather tightly this time with only her bangs and the baby hairs on her temple sticking out. MacCready looked at her cheekbones.

The silent moment was broken by the shared understanding that they had nothing left to discuss, and it was time to move. She allowed herself to look into his eyes as he looked into hers.

“You ready for this, Hotshot?” he asked, mouth twisting into a smile. Her gaze didn’t break as she nodded.

“Let’s get this son of a bitch.”

Chapter Text

Whiplash was an understatement. 

MacCready had gotten quite used to nonlinear emotions since meeting Nik. Her outburst in Diamond City made him feel smaller than he’d ever admit out loud, but she had softened considerably over the course of their walk. It reminded him of their first two days together. Back, and forth, tugging at his mind until his brain felt like mush after trying to keep up. Back and forth. 

He had assumed she wouldn’t speak a word to him after he royally fucked up with the newspaper, but she had just given him a pre-war history lesson and a cigarette, which might as well have been a birthday present, as far as he was concerned. The gesture was jarring coming from someone who, just a few hours ago, told him to fuck off once the job was done. 

Back and forth.

Maybe it was just… her. But it’s not like he knew who she was. He didn’t even know why they were here… not really. He didn’t need to know. But goddamn, was he curious, especially after learning she was alive before the Great War. He had been curious about a lot of things from the start, and that revelation alone answered a few of his questions, but created a million others. Talking with her outside the fort felt like a small glimpse into the growing mystery around her, and his nerdy, studious, comic book-loving self ate it up like snack cakes. At the end of it, he wanted more, even if it was selfish. He knew better than to ask, though, and at some point over the course of their walk, he had decided he would not ask her anything again as a last ditch effort to save his karma with her. As often as he didn't show it, he never forgot about the promises he made back home, and something about Nik and her unravelling story, which now included the Institute of all things, encouraged him to honor those promises.

What makes her so special? 

His head twitched to the side.

Back and forth.

Nik approached the first descending stairwell after exiting the parking garage with her rifle in hand. MacCready’s nervousness brought him to speak.

“Good thing you’ve got that beauty right there, Boss," he said, gesturing towards her gun. "If they get too close, you’ve really gotta lay it on ‘em. I’ll take out as many as I can from a distance to lessen those chances.” 

“Alright,” she nodded, hands twisting. She chewed her lip once, then spoke. “We stay quiet and check every corner.”

Nik felt more anxious than she had in days. Not only was she surrounded by sentient robots trying to kill her, but according to MacCready, these robots came from a place called the 'Institute'. She had very little idea what the Institute was aside from what she heard in passing in Diamond City. She couldn't tell whether the people were justifiably paranoid or if it was just city gossip, and if anyone had talked at more length about it to her than that, she was most likely either too drunk to remember, or simply checked out of the conversation completely.

In the current moment, though, she only cared about why the Institute stood between her and Kellogg and why that roadblock just had to materialize in the form of such freakish looking robots.

“Stealth   activity  detected.”

Nik closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She felt like she was in a childhood nightmare. 

“It’s okay. I’ll take point. Come on,” he said, turning up the stairs, preparing to encounter a synth as soon as he reached the landing. Nik stayed close behind him.

“I  know  you  are  there,” the strange voice spoke again, sending a chill down Nik’s spine. MacCready aimed, exhaled his breath, and fired, hitting the robot directly in the head and sending it to the ground in a metallic heap. Nik attempted to focus on any new sounds that may appear after the gunfire despite the sound of her heartbeat pounding in her head. MacCready remained still as well. He didn’t lower his gun as he spoke.

“Hallway clear. One stairway to the right. Looks like a supply closet on the left,” he said, lowering his rifle and looking down towards Nik.

“We should check the closet,” she said, her fingers tapping against her gun. MacCready nodded slowly and moved out of her way.

“Whatever you say, Boss.”

Nik crept past the stairway after checking it, then entered the closet. MacCready stood just outside of the doorframe to watch her back while she quietly shuffled through cabinet drawers and a toolbox.

“I thought you meant check for Institute toasters, not more cigarettes,” he said, frustrated at the fact she was scavenging right beside the growing threat of danger presumably directly below them. Nik decided to ignore him as she grabbed multiple bottles of vodka from an upper shelf and placed them in her bag. “Oh, even better!” he said sarcastically, fully recognizing the sound of glass bottles clinking together. Nik scoffed loudly.

“Hey, there’s more than one use when it comes to alcohol, alright? Especially Wasteland vodka. This shit could set all of Massachusetts on fire,” she said, tying off her bag and standing up.

He let out a long sigh and repeated, “Whatever you say, Boss.”

MacCready was in front again as another single hallway opened up. It was darker than the rest so far, which made him slow down. He kept his eyes forward while Nik nervously glanced towards the ground. Her hand flew to his back in an instant.

“Mac, wait,” she whispered quickly, grabbing his shirt by the area between his shoulder blades and pulling him back, nearly sending him to the floor. She quietly shuffled past him and slowly moved her hands towards a tripwire mechanism planted on the wall. He rubbed the front of his neck a little as he watched her disarm it, sending the wire back into its base.

“Thanks,” he whispered nervously. She moved forward a little more and reached down again.

“Shotty?” she asked, pulling a combat shotgun from the tripwire trap’s other half and lifting it up like a present. MacCready grinned and took it from her, slinging the strap of his rifle over his shoulder. She reached into her bag and revealed a smaller bag of shotgun shells. “Don’t forget the stocking stuffers.”

He smiled as he took the ammo from her. When he looked at her, she winked back at him, giving him that warm feeling in his lower abdomen. He didn't have much time to think about it as Nik continued forward.

After reaching a new doorway, MacCready stopped and examined what was in front of him. “It’s starting to open up. I see two hallways and a big room with an elevator in it.” Nik waited for more information, or for him to move. “Ugh… I see four of them. Get ready. I can probably get two before they run this way. You’ve got to take out the other two before they get too close while I'm switching to the shotgun. Can you do that?” he asked, nervously checking his clip.

“Pfft, ‘can I do that’, he says,” she replied, already in her advancing stance.

He shook his head and, using his rifle, released a larger breath this time, waiting for the moving synth to line itself up with another behind it. A few seconds passed before he fired, sending two to the ground, alerting the remaining two, plus a hidden third. Nik moved in front of MacCready as he stepped back. Their motions were fluid.

“Kellogg   has   ordered   your   termination,” one of them said as it walked briskly and raised its oversized energy weapon at her.

“Oh, fuck off!” she yelled, unloading the entirety of her magazine. MacCready moved up beside her with the shotgun and unloaded two rounds into the synth attempting to flank Nik's side. The robots were shred to pieces, which promptly scattered around the room.

Nik looked back towards MacCready, who was staring at her.

“What?!” she snapped, quickly reloading her gun. MacCready shook his head and lifted a hand to his face, closing the invisible zipper over his mouth.

Nik crept towards the elevator to check if it was functioning. She was hopeful, given the fact it was receiving power, made evident by the glowing call button on the wall. She pressed it and the doors opened, but the elevator car didn't move. She pressed the button a few more times in frustration before giving up and turning towards the doorway. She remained silent as she took point this time, jerking her head to the side to signal for MacCready to follow.

The room ahead of them looked to be a large communication room, and it contained eight synths. She used a standard fragmentation grenade to demobilize half of the robots by destroying their legs while MacCready helped her pick off the rest with the shotgun. Nik's adrenaline was rising steadily and she could feel her heart pounding into her ribs. She knew they had to be nearing the bunker level now, and after that, there was nowhere else for Kellogg to go. Her eyes beamed at the thought of blowing him up into thousands of bloodied, mangled little pieces.

MacCready guided her towards the next room and into a corner, giving himself a view of every angle around them. They had been moving through this building for almost an hour now, and he needed to check in. He looked at her as he wiped his forehead with the palm of his hand.

“Status report?” he asked, crouching against a wall as he reached into his bag for a can of water.

“Fine,” she replied, eyes unmoving from the floor. “He’s close.” She didn’t speak for another moment. She didn’t blink, either.

“I can feel it.”

MacCready cocked his brow, then extended his can of water to her.

“Drink this. Please,” he said, voice slightly exasperated from a growing concern for not only her safety, but his own. He had been so impressed with- and thrown off by- her up until this point that he hardly considered how this encounter may end, realistically speaking, at least.  He didn’t want to think about what kind of weapons this Kellogg guy may be sitting on, or how many more synths would be surrounding his immediate vicinity. He especially didn’t want to think about the fact that he had been marking small white arrows on the walls with a chunk of concrete as they descended the fort in case he had to make a quick escape without her.

His thoughts were interrupted by the sensation of her fingers touching his as she grabbed the water. She finished it quickly and discarded the can onto the floor before wiping her mouth with the sleeve of her leather jacket. The two made eye contact for just a moment, both feeling the weight of everything unfolding around them. Suddenly, the sound of static feedback crackling out of a speaker mounted on the ceiling above them broke the silence.

“Ah, well if it isn’t my old friend, the frozen TV dinner. Last I saw you, you were cozying up next to the peas and apple cobbler.”

MacCready looked towards the ceiling before he slowly looked towards Nik, who was frozen in place, looking up and around in horror as Kellogg’s voice sounded through the site-wide PA system. MacCready didn’t hesitate to put a hand on her arm as they both stood to their feet. Nik’s face showed an intense mixture of misery, hopelessness, and fury as her eyes watered and her nostrils flared with each breath she took.

MacCready moved closer to her again. “Don’t let this bastard get in your head.”

Her eyes darted towards MacCready like a rabid animal, but he didn’t flinch. She slowly turned her head away and looked towards the wall, noticing a pre-war propaganda poster pinned to it. It was a drawing of a soldier in power armor reaching out to a bloodied Uncle Sam on the ground. The words ‘Lend a hand for Uncle Sam: Enlist Today’ were written in large letters at the bottom. Her head fell downwards as the fear she felt became replaced by an anger so familiar.

"Mary! Mary!" she yelled, running towards the woman who now lay on the ground, blood pouring from her head, which had been blown apart. A soldier in power armor stuck his arm out in front of her as she ran, immediately sending her to the ground in a daze. 

"I told you Commie motherfuckers to back up!" the soldier said, now drawing his weapon at her. Jack, her friend, raced to her side, grabbing her arm and bringing her to her feet.

"Nik, we have to go! Mary's dead! There's more coming! We have to go! Now!"

“Sorry your house has been a wreck for two-hundred years. But I don’t need a roommate. Leave.”

"My son will never have a life with you, you Commie slut."

“You’ve got guts, you’ve got determination. It’s admirable. But you are in over your head in ways you can’t possibly comprehend.”

"It's gone, Nik. All of it. I'm sorry."

“It’s not too late. Stop. Turn around and leave. You have that option. Not many people can say that.”

"It's a boy! Congratulations, mom and dad!"

“Alright. You made it. I’m just up ahead. My synths are standing down. Let’s talk.”

"Good morning, Shaun. Look at my sweet boy."

Nik kicked open the metal door at the end of the hallway, sending it flying off of its hinges. Her eyes burned with unfallen tears.

"He's got your eyes."

Chapter Text

Nik marched forward and pointed her rifle at Kellogg, who had already lifted his hands in surrender before emerging from behind a scattered row of metal file cabinets.

“You kidnapping, murdering psychopath!” she screamed, her voice cracking during the delivery of the last word. The six synths surrounding him lifted their guns.

“Stand down,” Kellogg reminded the group of robots, not pausing his stride as the barrel of Nik’s rifle collided with his chest. “You don’t want to talk?” he asked teasingly, a sick grin tugging at his mouth.

“Where, is he,” Nik seethed, hands writhing around the grip of her gun. MacCready stood a few steps behind her, actively marking the location of each synth. He observed the multitude of desks and chairs in the room, mentally flipping the image to create a birds-eye view of the layout. His mind moved a million miles a minute.

This wasn’t going to end well. At some point, one of them will shoot, and the synths will engage immediately. They did not have the advantage of cover or stealth. ‘Inviting’ Nik to talk was bait, and she took it. 

MacCready didn't like this.

“Tell me where he is!” she screamed again, her body frozen in place. “You murdered my husband… you took my son! Where is he?!”

MacCready’s eyes widened in horror. He took her son? How? Why? She’s a mother? How old is her son? When did this happen? He killed her husband? What?

Why Kellogg? What is going on?

“Tell me where he is! Now!” Nik screamed, shoving her rifle further into Kellogg’s chest. He lowered his arms and smirked at her, as if he took pleasure in watching her suffer. MacCready’s chest began to feel tight as Kellogg continued to speak.

“This world, this life? It’s pain. It’s suffering. You’ve seen it, right? But your son? He’s fine. He’s safe, where he is. At home.”

Nik’s head dropped for a moment before she lifted it back up. MacCready swore he could see her vibrating.

“Goddamnit, you mercenary prick,” she seethed through her teeth. MacCready’s eyes fell to his feet. A mercenary ruined her life, perhaps more than the bombs did.

What a way to live.

He looked back up, shaking his head swiftly before making eye contact with a synth that was staring at him. He shivered, then slowly began moving to the right towards a desk. He was able to see Nik more closely now and he noticed tears falling from her eyes.

“Where. Is. My. Son?! Tell me!”

Kellogg continued with a twisted tone in his voice. MacCready noticed his side was soaked with blood.

“Shaun’s a good kid. Maybe not so much a baby anymore, but… he’s doing great. Only, he’s not here. He’s with the people pulling the strings.”

“Okay you cryptic motherfucker,” she said, driving her gun into his chest even harder, nearly pushing him off balance. “You’ve got two fucking seconds to tell me what you did with my son.”

“Or what?” He laughed, challenging her easily and smiling again. He let a moment pass before he continued to speak. “He’s in a place where he’s safe. Comfortable. Even loved. He’s at the Institute. A place you’ll never find.”

Nik deflated miserably at the revelation, her gun lowering as a result. “No… that… no, okay?! I found you, you worthless asshole! He’s supposed to fucking be here!” Nik began to tremble now, and MacCready felt his eyes begin to swell. No wonder she was so emotionally compromised, no wonder she was so secretive with him; not only was her pre-war life destroyed on a global scale, but on top of losing her husband, her son was stolen from her. He had been such a fool. If only he knew, he wouldn’t have said that stupid shit back in the city. He would have heard her out at the Dugout. He… could have even shared a bit of his own story. 

Yeah, right.

MacCready looked towards the ceiling quickly in an attempt to calm himself. He couldn’t do this here.

Kellogg smirked while he shrugged. His ugly smile made Nik furious. He spoke.

“I know you’re new here, and all, but… you said it yourself. I’m just a mercenary.”

MacCready felt his teeth grind together as Kellogg continued to torment her. He held his gun, hard, and began to brace himself. If one of them didn’t start soon, he might pull the trigger on this motherfucker himself.

“To think I had any say in what happened to your family would just be naïve, even for you.”

MacCready snapped.

“Bullshit!” he yelled, approaching Nik’s side. “Some jobs aren’t worth taking and you know it! Involving women and children is weak and pathetic!”

Nik’s eyes darted towards MacCready, then back to Kellogg, who didn’t stop smiling for a second. 

“Okay, kid,” Kellogg started, looking MacCready up and down. “Sure, in your perfect world.” He looked back towards Nik, who was appearing more and more unhinged. “Your efforts are… relatable. Admirable, really. But make no mistake. I haven’t lied to you. You are in way over your head.”

Nik let out a primal scream and took a single step back. “Shut the fuck up! If you won’t tell me what I need to know, then you’re as good as dead, you hear me?!” She spat, the muscles in her neck emerging as she screamed. “Here, the Institute, it doesn’t fucking matter! I will find my son, and I’ll tell those Institute bastards where to find your fucking corpse!”

Kellogg maintained his smile as she lifted her gun into his chest again.

“Hah, that’s the spirit. You know, you surprise me. I find myself kind of liking you...”

“I will rip your fucking head off–”

“...but, I think we’ve been talking long enough. So… you ready?”

He didn’t move as his expression suddenly fell flat. MacCready looked between the two as they stared at each other. MacCready’s hand flew to the trigger on his gun in an instant, quickly understanding what was happening, and what was about to happen. Nik grinned, showing all of her teeth, and she began to speak while slowly backing away.

“In a hundred years, when I finally die, I hope I meet you in Hell, so I can kill you all over again, you ugly son of a bitch.”

In an instant, Nik fired her gun towards Kellogg, who quickly retreated behind the file cabinets. MacCready threw himself to the side and dove underneath a desk while Nik backed herself into the previous room. Laser rounds burnt into the floor surrounding MacCready’s hiding spot and he began to panic. He did not expect her to start shooting before they even made an attempt for cover, and now he was cornered. Suddenly he realized it may not be her priority to make sure he didn’t get killed, when the man she had been hunting was right in front of her. His heart and mind began to race as Nik and Kellogg exchanged gunfire.

“Fuck,” he said to himself, moving the shotgun to the front of his torso and pushing himself against the wall of the underside of the desk. The laser fire increased in intensity around him before abruptly stopping as the sound of Nik’s rifle emerged from inside the room and the mangled body of a synth fell in front of him.

“Mac, get your ass in here!”

MacCready scrambled out from underneath the desk and began to run towards the doorway, hearing the sound of a powerful pistol firing behind him. He practically fell into the room as he rounded the side of the doorway opposite Nik, who was firing towards the synths.

“Make yourself useful! Help me with these fucking robots! I don’t know where Kellogg is!”

MacCready quickly raised his rifle to his face, aiming towards a synth behind the first row of desks closest to them. He fired once, missing its head entirely. He swore to himself as he reloaded and fired again. The synth fell to the ground and another approached to take its place. He fired again, and missed. Seemingly out of nowhere, the sound of a bullet flying through the room sent MacCready flat against the wall in fear.

She doesn’t know where Kellogg is. Do you?

He suddenly noticed Nik wasn’t firing or even standing anymore and looked down at her in a frenzy. She was crouched and digging through her backpack.

“What are we doing, Boss?” he asked, his voice a mix of confusion and panic.

“I don’t know. I can’t see Kellogg,” she yelled over the sound of intensifying laser fire. MacCready peaked around the corner before hiding again, noting the synths were moving closer to them the longer they stayed put. There were still four left, which would be relatively easy to take down on their own, but somewhere in the room was Kellogg, firing seemingly indiscriminately. Without knowing his location or angle of fire, they were pinned, and they both knew it.

“The synths are closing in. Do we go back?’ he asked, pushing his head against the wall as he tried to think of what to do.

“Not unless they’re on top of us!”

MacCready peaked out again quickly before moving back even faster. “That’s right about now, Boss,” he said, voice strained with impatience. Nik grunted as she stood, bringing her rifle to a point again. She quickly downed a synth who had nearly reached the doorway they were both hiding behind. “Do we wait until they’re all in this tiny room with us?!” he asked furiously, not doing a great job of hiding his frustration.

“I can hear him shooting from the center of all those desks but I can’t see him! Is he on the ground?! I don’t get it!”

MacCready switched point with Nik while she reloaded her magazine. The forth synth fell and he moved back and pushed himself against the wall. He froze as a memory of a former Gunner leader flooded his mind.

“Stealth Boy,” he said, turning his head to look towards Nik, who shook her head impatiently in reply.

“Huh?!”

MacCready stammered out the words, “It’s a device someone wears to make themselves almost completely invisible.”

“Oh, great!” she replied, leaning into the doorway to shoot a synth moving in from the right. The shot caught its arm but it continued to advance. Nik’s mind began to move as she crouched again and examined the contents of her bag once more. “How big is the unit, where do they wear it?! Give me something, Mac, come on!” she continued, her voice beginning to strain. 

“Uh, uh, it’s… it’s not too big, it’s a box shape, they usually put it on the middle point of the body, the waist!” he yelled back, firing into and disabling the synth Nik failed to finish off. The last synth began steadily walking towards them.

“And it makes someone appear invisible? How?”

“You’re asking me that?!”

Nik’s eyes moved back and forth rapidly. “Okay.” She reached into her bag, removing an explosive that appeared unfamiliar to him. “We’ve only got one shot at this,” she said, continuing to pull materials from her bag; a long piece of cloth, a lighter, and a bottle of vodka from the supply closet. Nik fumbled with the piece of cloth as a laser round flew into the room and broke the glass door of the curio cabinet behind them.

“There’s still one synth left,” MacCready stated, looking between her and her miniature workshop on the floor. He did not understand what her plan was, but was growing more and more concerned with the situation unfolding in the room in front of them.

“I know that,” she muttered, removing the cap from the vodka, rolling the cloth into a long, cylindrical shape, and shoving it into the bottle, ensuring the liquid soaked the greater half of it. She removed her hair tie and secured it around the other end of the the cloth and the rim of the bottle. “This might not work…”

“What?!” MacCready demanded, wishing he could get straight answers out of her the first time.

“Fire bomb, MacCready, a fucking, molotov cocktail. All of his shots have come from the back corner. If he’s waiting for the last synth to go down then I need to move before that. Take it out while I throw this towards the desks!” She stood to her feet, her one hand holding the molotov and the other holding the grenade.

“How do you know where he is?”

“I don’t. But if this breaks open and spreads well enough, it should cause him to move, might even get some reflection off the heat from the flames. If I’m lucky he’ll catch on fire and the stealth boy will be disabled. If not, I’ve got a pulse grenade that should be capable of disengaging the electric field around him. But this is all I’ve got, do you understand?”

“Understand? Wh- understand what exactly?”

“I need you, to take out, the synth.” she said, tilting her head back and forth with each word. “On three, I’m running. Do what you have to do,” Nik said, shrugging her rifle to the ground, flicking the lighter on, and turning towards the doorway. “One, two–”

“Nik, wait,”

“Three!”

She disappeared from in front of him as she sprinted forward. Nik entered the main room and lifted the molotov into the air, preparing to throw it. The synth that MacCready had not yet managed to take out fired a round towards her, which landed in her side. She screamed in pain as the molotov left her hand before she moved behind a desk for cover. It landed near the back end of the room, sending fire upwards and outwards, reaching as far as another row of desks in the opposite direction. Nik ignored the sounds of MacCready demolishing the last synth with his shotgun as she scanned the area in front of her for movement. It was fleeting, but Nik saw what looked to be a warped beam of vertical light moving in front of the fire. Before she could think, she threw the pulse grenade in that direction, not returning to cover as she waited for the result of the electric pulse. The grenade went off, sending a large burst of energy outwards. Right at the edge of it, Kellogg’s body suddenly became visible, the colors of his outfit flashing twice before remaining static. 

“Fuck!” Kellogg yelled out, cowering behind a counter on the left side of the room. Nik didn’t waste a second. She ran towards him with her knife drawn and tackled him to the ground, plunging the knife into his chest. Kellogg screamed in pain before pushing her off with ease, sending her straight into a metal desk behind them. Her head hit the lip of the surface of the desk and she grunted, being temporarily stunned before she looked up. Kellogg had already managed to stand and he was above her, his pistol drawn and pointed down towards her head.

“I can’t give you your son. But you can say hi to your husband for me,” he said, expression weak. He held one hand over his wound while the other held his gun. Nik looked up into his eyes, blindly reaching for her knife, becoming paralyzed with fear. Kellogg began to smile before his hand exploded in front of her face, sending streaks of his blood onto her cheek as she turned her head in panic. At the other end of the room MacCready lowered his rifle to reload it, revealing a terrified look on his face. He exhaled slightly when he realized Kellogg’s gun was no longer pointed at Nik’s forehead, but lying in a bloody pile of torn flesh between them. Nik’s eyes were the size of saucers as she pushed herself to her feet, then threw her body into Kellogg, shoving the knife into his side. He tumbled backward, falling against the wall. He raised his hand to her neck. Nik stabbed him again as his hand moved from her neck to her hair, grabbing a wad of it and yanking her head back with force. She felt the skin at the crown of her head burning as she struggled to maintain eye contact with her target.

“Fuck, you!” she growled, swiping the knife blindly in his direction. Kellogg pulled harder before throwing her to the ground and sending his boot into her side. Nik screamed in pain as the noticeable crack of MacCready’s rifle sounded again. Kellogg was hit in the shoulder this time as he turned on instinct, allowing Nik to begin to push herself up once more. MacCready noticed this and acted quickly.

“Hey, asshole!” he called out, charging towards them with his gun drawn. Nik seized the distraction to launch herself upwards with her legs, utilizing the momentum to drive her knife through Kellogg’s lower jaw and straight through his head. Blood immediately began to pool out of his mouth as Nik continued pushing upwards, following the motion of his body as he began to fall backwards onto the ground. Kellogg’s left eye bulged outwards slightly as his strained gaze darted towards Nik. A sickening gurgling noise sounded from Kellogg’s throat as he began to choke on his own blood. By the time MacCready made it to her side, she was on top of Kellogg’s lifeless body, driving her knife into his head repeatedly.

“Hey, hey!” MacCready yelled out, putting his hands on Nik’s shoulders. She shrugged him off and continued, screaming aimlessly. He stared down in horror as Kellogg’s head began to open up and reveal brain matter beneath a dark pool of red. “Nik, stop!” he yelled, grabbing the top of her arm.

“Don’t fucking touch me!” she screamed, her voice cracking with each word. The blade of the knife broke from the handle and she threw it to the side, resorting to using her fists to continue flattening his skull. MacCready ignored her and grabbed her by her sides, pulling her off of Kellogg’s body. Nik screamed in pain after he unknowingly put pressure on the wound in her side. 

“Nik, stop! It’s over! You’re hurt!”

“It’s not over, MacCready! Did you not hear anything he said?!”

He sighed, knowing exactly what she meant by that. He decided to focus on the here and now, his concern for her physical wellbeing escalating drastically. “You’re hurt, Nik, we need to..”

“I said don’t fucking touch me!”

MacCready grabbed her wrists, hard, and shook her. “Stop fighting me! I said you’re hurt! Do you want to find your son or die here with him?!”

Nik wriggled her dominant hand from his grip and slapped him straight across the face.

“Don’t you dare,” she growled, nostrils flaring. “Don’t you dare talk about him!”

MacCready stayed silent for a moment, meeting her eyes with an intense expression that read more like understanding than offense. He took a deep breath before he began to stand. He opened his mouth to flex his jaw as he turned and walked towards the room containing their belongings. 

Nik fell onto her backside and brought her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around herself. She lowered her head and began sobbing uncontrollably. MacCready closed his eyes as he walked, feeling that pain in his chest again. Entering the room, he looked for her first-aid kit. Once he found it, he slowly turned on his feet again. As he made his way back towards Nik, she continued to wail, reaching up towards her head with curled fingers, driving her nails into her skull, gripping her own hair and pulling on it.

MacCready felt like he was going to vomit.

Slowly, he approached her, bringing himself to her level as he opened the first-aid kit. He found a small bottle of alcohol and poured the contents onto a piece of gauze before placing it on the wound on her side. She did not move or wince at the touch, but continued to cry and pull at her scalp.

“Nik, please,” MacCready said, nearly pleading. His voice was soft and hesitant. He adjusted himself to sit on the ground beside her as his lower legs began to feel weak. He found a large bandage and secured it to her side, the only motion fighting him being the one of her body rocking back and forth.

“I can’t do this,” she wailed, head still tucked between her legs, hands still digging into her skin. It took every ounce of control he had to not put his own hand in between hers in an attempt to get her to stop. “I can’t.”

“Nik, I…” he started, looking up and around, fighting with reason and emotion rabidly, not knowing which angle to take. The ache in his chest made him want to hug her, but the rationale in his brain told him to communicate their situation practically. “I think… Nik, we need to leave. We don’t know if he was being watched down here, or, I don't know, if he had a panic button, I… I don’t know. But we need to go.”

“I can’t,” she said, voice sounding more strained than ever. MacCready shook his head in frustration and began to speak again before he could think about it.

“Listen to me. You need to get out of here. Your son needs you, Nik! You need to find him! No one else is looking for him but you!” 

Nik shook for a few more minutes as her cries began to weaken. MacCready didn’t notice the tear on his face until it fell along the part of his cheek still stinging from her handprint. He wiped it away quickly and looked towards the ground before he spoke with a level of seriousness that felt more personal than anything he had said to her up to that point.

“You’re all he has…”

Another minute passed before Nik started to stand. MacCready quickly stood first, extending his hands to her, which she did not take. Her face was emotionless and her body was still. Her eye makeup encircled her eyes wildly, her hair was knotted in the back and fraying at the top. Her neck had a finger shaped bruise along the side of it. Her side wasn’t bleeding anymore, but her hands and face were covered in Kellogg’s blood. MacCready maintained a flat expression, knowing any other ran the chance of offending her. 

Nik turned towards Kellogg’s corpse in silence. She adjusted her head to look down at him, and noticed a piece of hardware poking out from the center of Kellogg’s destroyed skull. MacCready grimaced and turned away while Nik began to pick through the area of his brain that was just recently connected to the brainstem. She pulled on a piece of metal, bringing a section of loose brain with it. As she did, another piece of hardware was revealed behind the brainstem itself. She grabbed that one as well before kicking the arm that MacCready had severed its hand from, revealing more metallic hardware beneath the tattered skin. Nik pocketed the two pieces from his head and turned towards a working computer. MacCready watched as her face became illuminated by a low green light.

Her eyes revealed nothing, and she didn’t blink.

A minute passed before she stood from the desk and began walking in the direction they had come from. She suddenly stopped and turned her head towards MacCready. She stared at him until he began to walk towards her, then she turned to continue. She entered the room she had left her bag in and gathered everything, equipped her rifle, and continued back up the fort in silence.

MacCready didn’t speak a word as he followed her closely, praying to God she didn’t notice the arrows on the walls.

Chapter Text

The sky was colored a muddy mix of purple and blue as the sun touched the horizon. Nik emerged from the parking garage, movements stiff, looking like she had just been chewed up and spit out by a behemoth. The blood on her face had dried and began cracking against her skin. Her hair was a mangled mess. The bandage on her side had blood on it, but not hers. 

She continued forward, rounding the front of the fort. MacCready stayed two steps behind and hadn’t dared to say a word to her since they left the bunker. 

A light breeze moved through the air and it made Nik stop. She looked towards the sky and closed her eyes. She took a deep breath, allowing herself to absorb the pressure accumulating in her lungs. 

Chest tight. Side aching. Head burning.

The wind. The ground. 

The sky.

Her eyes opened again.

The pain was familiar, and grounding. Beyond herself was the air, the wind… the sky. Vast, never-ending, resilient and merciless. Some things couldn’t be destroyed by a gun, or the bombs. With the air, she too, felt sure.

Somewhere… somewhere out there. He’s there. 

She remained still for another moment and MacCready stood close behind, watching her carefully. His head fell downwards as the weight of everything that just happened began to set in. His curiosities had finally been met, and now he felt like the cat who died seeking them, or however the two-hundred-year-old saying goes.

He was, of course, also thinking about the fact that he was going to be dismissed by her soon. He could practically feel the weight of the caps she gave him lessening with each hour that passed. He lifted his head, accepting it was his own fault.

Maybe if you had acted like a good man for once–

Out of nowhere, Nik whistled, making MacCready jump. His hands twitched around his gun before he realized the galloping sound approaching them was, in fact, Dogmeat. Her voice was weak when she spoke. The remainder of whatever energy she had had drained during the walk back up the fort. Her adrenaline had crashed, causing her thoughts to shift from erratic and miserable to practical and necessary. As a defense mechanism, she subconsciously began clearing her mind of whatever details she didn't need; the scary faces of the robots, beating Kellogg to a pulp, and slapping MacCready, to name a few.

“Hey, boy. Ready to head back?”

Dogmeat barked once and wagged his tail, moving closer to her, attempting to lick her hand.

“No, you don’t want that in your mouth… Dogmeat, no,”

The canine suddenly stopped and pointed himself west, ears perked up high. MacCready took a few steps in that direction, putting himself in front of Nik. Dogmeat began to growl slowly as MacCready scanned the area. The ground began to rumble as Nik grabbed her rifle, preparing for a large animal or a horde of ghouls to emerge from the nearby wall of black hung against a dead tree line. Nik’s eyes widened in shock as a vertibird emerged into her line of sight, illuminated by a much larger source of light behind it.

“What the fu–”

“People of the Commonwealth,” came a voice broadcasted from the massive blimp floating across the sky. “Do not interfere. Our intentions are peaceful.”

Nik’s eyes darted towards MacCready, who had turned to face her now, his own expression appearing uneasy.

“MacCready, what is–”

“We are the Brotherhood of Steel.”

Three more vertibirds detached from the blimp and began flying at its side, all heading east. MacCready remained familiarly still while Nik took a step back, eyes wide with horror.

“It’s the goddamn Brotherhood of Steel,” he said, sounding skeptical and irritated. “What the hell are they doing here?”

Nik shifted on her feet. She had been preparing to run for cover, but she had decided not to when she noticed MacCready wasn't reacting much at all. “What’s the Brotherhood of Steel? ” she asked quietly. He looked at her for a moment, struggling to find the words.

“That’s, uh… that’s a bit of a loaded answer, but…they almost tore the Capital apart,” he replied hesitantly, looking down from the sky as the blimp slowly hovered past them. Nik looked at him expectantly, clearly signaling she required more information than that. He obliged. “They’re all over the Wasteland, Nik. Here, the Capital, over back west. They claim to have peaceful intentions. But their beliefs make them dangerous.”

Nik shook her head. “Oh, a powerful group made dangerous by their beliefs? Nothing new about that.” She kicked a rock on the ground, refusing to regress any further as she sighed. “What do they claim their goal is?”

MacCready shook his head slowly, opening and closing his mouth hesitantly as he struggled to find the words. “Well… simply put, they believe mankind doomed itself with technology, which, I mean…” he gestured around himself and Nik rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, clearly. Continue, please.”

“They believe anyone who isn’t them can’t be trusted with technology anymore, so they patrol the Wastes, attempting to accumulate whatever they can find.”

“Like what?”

“Uh… well, as far as I know, just about everything. But they really love those plane things they fly in, and, uh… power armor.”

Her head lowered slightly and she stared at him. “Seriously? They use power armor, too?”

“Yeah. Most of them do.”

Nik scoffed. “Yeah, I bet they fucking do…” she took a deep breath, pushing invasive memories out of her mind. “So, what, is that it? What kind of dangerous are they? Where are they going?” she asked rapidly, becoming more and more irritated at the idea of this group and whatever she did not know about them. MacCready lifted his hands and shook his head.

“I don’t know where they’re going, Nik. I’m sure you’ll find out from someone sooner or later," he said, beginning to turn away from her. "And in my experience, as long as you make a point to stay out of their way, you’ll be fine.”

Nik nodded slowly before turning back again, giving one last glance to the blimp disappearing over the western skyline. After a moment she spoke again.

“Wait, you said the capital? Do you mean Boston?”

MacCready's brow furrowed. “What? No, the Capital Wasteland. That’s uh… where I grew up,” Nik glanced back at him, obviously confused. “The Capital. D.C. Sorry.” he finished, rubbing his neck with his hand, an ever-growing nervous habit.

“Oh… I didn’t know you were from D.C.,” she said, beginning to walk forward with her rifle against her torso. MacCready followed after a few paces.

“You never asked.”

Nik turned her head a little, appearing like she was going to say something, then turned back.

Silence.

“You should get checked out by Sun when you get back,” MacCready said, resisting the urge to grab the back of his neck again. Nik didn’t reply, so he nodded to himself. A few more silent moments passed before he spoke again. “You should let Dogmeat and me take point.”

“Ha… Why, because I’m so fragile?” 

MacCready rolled his eyes to himself, confidently, given he was still behind her. “Yeah, the woman who just annihilated an Institute pawn by herself, absolutely fragile. Totally what I meant.”

Nik’s grin faded at the word: Institute. She didn’t know the first thing about the Institute, besides the fact that they made those godforsaken robots. She felt her core struggle to maintain equilibrium at the thought of her son surrounded by cold, lifeless death machines. A new batch of tears threatened to form before she dismissed the thought. Being out in the open, in the dark, was not the place to fall apart. She decided that, for the sake of her mission- her son -she would not fall apart, not now, not ever. She would make it back to the city alive. She would make it to her son, alive. Every other excuse or moment of self-pity would have to wait; she needed to stay alive.

Nik stopped walking, causing MacCready to look around for threats. When none were present, he looked at her. She had extended her arm forwards but didn’t make eye contact. He nodded once and walked ahead of her, after which he turned his head to make sure she was following. 

“Oh, shoot,” MacCready said, looking back towards the fort.

“What?”

“I forgot my jacket,” he said. He looked down at Dogmeat quickly. “I’ll be right back, you’re in charge for a sec, alright?” MacCready fell into a jog as he disappeared into the parking garage. Nik rolled her eyes while Dogmeat looked up at her and whined.

"He'll be back, boy,” she said, petting his head. She moved herself into a darker area near a tree, keeping her eyes pinned towards the garage. She thought about what it would feel like to not travel with him anymore, like she had demanded earlier in the day. 

She didn’t know what to think when she realized she didn’t feel as confident as she did a moment ago, when considering that possibility.

~

Approaching Diamond City, Nik began building a thick concrete wall in her mind, one that would protect her from unleashing on any inquisitive or meddling person who would just have to make a comment on her appearance, or, god forbid, ask why she didn’t have her son with her.

“Hey, Nik!” a Diamond City guard started, before taking a step back. “Whoa. You just crawl out of hell or somethin’?” Nik winced and began imagining banging her head against that concrete wall, but MacCready interrupted the thought.

“Yeah, she just got back, why don’t you mind your fucking business?” 

Nik’s eyes widened slightly. She did not expect that.

“Hey, I’m just makin’ small talk asshole, no need to get your panties in a twist.”

MacCready broke his stride and turned quickly, raising a pointed finger at the guard. “I thought I told you to fuck off?!” Nik grabbed his forearm and pulled, a repetitive pounding rapidly forming in her head. All she wanted was a shower and a drink, not to have the guards up her ass any more than they already were.

“Yeah, run along, sissy,” the guard finished while laughing, turning back to face the main gate. Nik had let MacCready’s arm go and was ascending the main stairs now, mentally preparing to face the Bobrov brothers.

“MacCready, do me a favor,” she said, stopping at the top of the stairs, assessing the crowd below. It appeared to be nearing nine o’ clock now, making the hub slightly less busy than normal. MacCready looked at her, his face clearly showing he was offended by being called ‘sissy’. “Try to keep the confrontations to a minimum, alright? My head is killing me and I just want to be left alone.”

MacCready nodded reluctantly in reply, his expression falling flat. “Understood. Sorry.”

Nik rubbed her face, sending flakes of dried blood falling to the ground, which made her grimace in disgust. “Don’t be,” she said, turning to descend the stairs into the city. “It was…” she started, thinking about the way his face looked when he yelled. She cleared her throat, then averted her eyes nervously. “I appreciate it.”

He held back a small smile as he followed her, feeling much more confident now. He didn’t say anything when she passed Sun’s clinic without even looking at it. The Dugout came into view and MacCready noticed Nik desperately trying to flatten her hair, and failing.

“So, uh… want me to hold Vadim back while you shower?”

“God, yes please,” she said quickly, feeling relief. He opened the door for her while she fell into a pace just short of a run.

“Hey, Nik!” Vadim hollered as she rounded the corner towards the rooms, her right arm lifted to cover her face. MacCready spoke immediately. 

“What’s up, Vadim? It’s been a long day and I, need a drink!”

~

Nik used a bucket and some of her own water to scrub the blood off of her hands and face. When she was done, she grabbed her small bag of soap, a clean shirt and two towels, then headed towards the shower room at the far end of the hall. The cold water would feel like hell against her aching body, but she would bathe in just about anything in order to get the filth of Kellogg off of her.

Holding her breath, she stepped under the falling water, remaining still for a moment while she attempted to regulate her heartbeat. Knowing she would lose water in about three minutes, she didn’t waste any time. She spent two minutes on her hair while the remaining minute was used to focus on the burn wound on her side, just above her hip bone.

“F-f-f-fucking… M-ac…”

Nik felt her teeth threatening to rattle out of her skull as she stepped out. She grabbed her towel and wrapped it around herself before wrapping the other around her head. The tile of the shower room did nothing to help the low temperature situation, and she couldn’t take it anymore, so she grabbed her things in one hand while holding her towel in place with the other. It was only a short walk to her room anyway.

Exiting the shower room, she quickly shuffled against the concrete floor, her soaking untied boots making a thumping sound as she moved. She was still shivering, hard, as she rounded the corner and approached her room. She fumbled with the lock for a moment before her shaking body caused her to drop the key, forcing her to crouch awkwardly so as to not reveal herself. When she finally unlocked the door she practically threw herself inside, slamming the door behind her and promptly locking it.

Warming after a shower in the Wasteland was a process, which was unfortunate, given it cost extra caps to shower here, even as a guest. She dressed herself in nearly every layer she had available and kept her wet hair wrapped until she felt warm again. Her original intention was to buy a drink after dressing, but she struggled with the idea of being around anyone. The last thing she wanted to do was talk about today. To strangers, at least.

There was MacCready… it’s not like he didn’t see and hear everything back there. She cringed as her head fell in her hands. The fact that, as her hired gun, it was inevitable he learned what happened to her didn’t lessen how vulnerable it made her feel. 

You can’t stay this guarded forever.

Nik sighed and laid herself flat on her bed. She was still freezing. She thought about how warm Shaun was when she held him. She would think to herself that it was comical a boy so small could radiate so much heat. The memory made her smile for a moment before the pain in her chest reappeared like a ghost in a haunted house.

The frantic need for alcohol emerged in an instant, sending her to her feet as she made her way to her door. She flung it open, stopping immediately at the sight of MacCready standing in the hallway.

“Oh, hey,” he said, holding two bottles of beer in each hand, his fingers awkwardly curled around the necks. He noticed the towel on her head and gave her a puzzled look before quickly dismissing it. Nik stared at him, her brow lifting slightly. “I know you want to be left alone, so…” he paused, lifting one arm to hand her two bottles. “I figured I’d bring these to you, in case you wanted some.” Nik nodded slowly, one half of her feeling grateful, the other half, apprehensive. 

“Thanks,” she replied quietly, taking the bottles from him. MacCready nodded twice and began to turn away before Nik continued to speak. “MacCready, wait.” She leaned into the door, pushing her head into the side of it, clearly struggling to speak what it was she was thinking. “Will you…” she sighed, hitting her head against the door once, squeezing her eyes shut, as if speaking was physically painful.

“Will you be here in the morning?”

MacCready watched her eyes dart to the floor and fought to keep his expression neutral.

“Yes.” He said, a warm feeling settling in his torso. “I’m in 3 if you need anything,” he finished, turning and heading towards his room. 

“Thanks for the milk,” she said quietly, and he had just barely heard it. The memory of his milkman joke back at the Rexford made him smile first, then frown. 

It was a terrible joke. 

He heard Nik’s door click shut quietly and waited to hear the sound of the lock engaging. When he did, he finally entered his own room, quickly moving to the bed and making himself as comfortable as he could be.

MacCready didn't fully understand why he reacted the way he did when Vadim asked how many he wanted. He ordered double without thinking, a part of him understanding he had learned that, in stressful moments, she favored herself a drink. He also listened when she told him she wanted to be alone. Before he could attempt to rationalize what he was doing, he turned himself into room service, and used his own caps for it.

To his surprise, he didn't feel stupid, or like he had done her a favor. It just felt like the least he could do.

He didn’t manage to open a bottle for himself before he fell asleep, unsure of where he would be going after tomorrow.

In room 2, Nik had returned to her own bed and sat on it, staring at the bottles of beer and vodka on the table in front of her. She sighed as she put her elbows on her knees and her head in her hands.

“You don’t need it…”

Do you want to be able to fucking breathe, you stupid piece of shit?

She closed her eyes and removed the towel from her head swiftly, lightly shaking her head back and forth as she grabbed whichever bottle her hand landed on first. She used the towel to open the bottle of beer before chugging it like a frat boy with something to prove. 

“Yeah, well, whatever,” she said to herself, pulling her notebook and miscellaneous cluster of pens from her bag. She spent the next three hours writing about everything she had learned in the past two days, and she only had to switch out her pen once this time, which was a small win. She took another drink and looked towards the wall across from her.

“How the fuck do you spell MacCready?”

~

Nik stepped out of the front door of the Dugout, wearing sunglasses and her jacket which was zipped up over her neck. She had a headache, but she didn’t have a hangover. 

In her hand was a small leather pouch, which contained the two pieces of tech from Kellogg’s brain. She thought about what they would look like in an illuminated trophy case.

She looked up towards the hub, knowing which direction to head for. At the noodle bar sat MacCready, steadily eating another bowl of noodles. He was fairly skilled in the use of chopsticks, she thought. While they were never explicitly banned before the war, they were impossible to find, and any white person caught using them, or indulging in any asian cuisine for that matter, were either threatened, assaulted, or worse. Seeing him use them made her smile a little, for more than one reason.

MacCready had managed to notice her before she was right beside him this time. Her hair was much more curly than he had seen before. He wondered if she was covering her eyes and neck for a reason.

“Hey,” she said, standing a respectable distance away from him. “I was just going to Nick’s. Thought maybe he could tell me something about this,” she said, lifting the pouch slightly.

“Oh,” he replied, knowing what was inside. “Well, good luck.”

“Yeah…” She sighed and looked towards the ground. “Do you, uh…” She dug her foot into the dirt as MacCready lifted his head to look at her. “You want to come with me?” she finally asked, releasing a breath. He opened his mouth to speak before she continued to ramble nervously. “I just… don’t know how much I can recall on my own. I figured you’d be a better source of information than me, because, well, a lot of its a blur, especially after I…” she paused again and looked towards the pouch, making a repetitive punching gesture towards it. “... you know.”

A smirk slowly crept onto his face as he watched her. He finally nodded, then quickly lifted the bowl to his mouth to finish off the broth. “Yeah, I can do that.”

He pocketed the Grognak comic he had been reading before he stood to his feet and gestured to the side, keeping his expression flat. “After you.”

Nik pressed her lips into a thin line and proceeded forward.

Nik entered Valentine’s office slowly, having heard voices coming from the room from outside. MacCready was behind her and he carefully closed the door, doing his best to respect her hesitant energy. To both her and MacCready’s surprise, Piper was standing in the middle of the room, talking to the detective, about Nik.

“She’s my client, Piper,” he spoke sternly. “I’m not in the business of airing out her private affairs.”

Nik tilted her head as Piper replied. “Come on, Nick, just one quote!”

MacCready, who was leaning against the back wall with his arms crossed against his chest, stared daggers at the reporter from beneath the cover of his hat. Nik, on the other hand, looked up and down frantically, wishing the nosy woman would report on some couth for once. 

The detective lifted his hand in front of Piper to silence her as he turned towards Nik. “Hey, you’re back! And, not with your son. What happened?” he asked, turning his full attention towards her. Elie sat at her desk, her wide eyes full of pity, giving them a glossy, doe-like look. Nik did her best to ignore that.

“Um… well, you were right, Nick,” she said, twisting her fingers together nervously. Sharing her findings and admitting what happened meant acknowledging the truth, which was difficult. “It was Kellogg that took my baby, but… that’s not all.” She paused, releasing her hands from her own grip and putting her fists at her sides. “He was with the Institute. He, uh… he gave them Shaun.”

Nik heard Elie gasp as the secretary stood, holding her hands over her mouth. Her eyes now looked like she was a blink away from crying. Nik ignored her still.

“The Institute?! Oh, boy…” Piper started, eyes wide and fleeting, as if she was crafting her next headline in her mind. MacCready started tapping his foot.

“I’m sorry, friend. Truly.” Nick started, subtly doing his best to take charge of the conversation. “That makes things… considerably more complicated.” 

Elie spoke next, lowering her hands slightly. “I’m so sorry.”

Nik nodded politely as Piper’s loud voice overtook the room again.

“He ain’t kidding! Nick’s a synth and even he doesn’t know how to get in.”

“Nobody does,” he quipped back. “Security protocols rip those memories out.”

“You… really don’t know anything?” Nik asked, desperately trying to not lose hope.

“No, I don’t. I’m sorry. I woke up in a junk pile ages ago. The Institute hasn’t called since.”

Nik began to feel lightheaded and took a seat across from Elie’s desk. She looked down at the pouch in her lap, trying to think of ways to address its contents. Her thoughts were interrupted, once again, by Piper.

“I’ve been investigating these creeps for years. The Commonwealth’s boogeyman,” she said, emoting her face dramatically and wiggling her fingers theatrically. MacCready looked straight at the ground and shook his head, biting his lip.

Keep going, he thought to himself.

“Feared and hated by almost everyone. Sometimes they snatch people up, sometimes they leave a synth behind to remind us all they’re always around. But there’s one thing nobody really knows,” she finished, holding up a single finger.

“Where the Institute is, or how to get in,” said Nick, matter-of-factly.

“Exactly!” Piper exclaimed, nearly hopping out of her shoes. “But there’s one person who should know, right? The person who just handed them Shaun.”

“Well, about that,” Nik finally said, nerves breaking at the sound of her baby’s name coming out of someone else’s mouth. “Turns out, I fucking killed him! So,” she finished, shrugging once, looking at Nick expectantly.

“Oh. Well… a literal dead end, huh?” he said.

“So a murderer and a kidnapper gets his brains blown out by an avenging mother,” Piper mused, lifting her hand upwards and to the side, as if she were highlighting an invisible headline. “It’d be a great ending if we didn’t still have the greatest mystery in the Commonwealth to solve,” she finished, looking towards Nik with an unimpressed expression, clearly insinuating she ruined any chance at answers because she killed Kellogg.

MacCready lowered his arms and stepped forward sternly, unable to remain silent anymore. “Is there something so, irresistibly mysterious and consumable about this woman’s turmoil?” he said, mocking Piper’s excessive tone and body language. “Or do you just get off on being an insufferable opportunist?”

Piper’s jaw fell before she spoke. “Oh, that’s rich coming from–”

Nik stood to her feet.

“Doesn't matter what he knew,” Nik snapped. “I’d kill him again in a fucking heartbeat.”

The room fell silent aside from the subtle noise of Nick’s eyes clicking back and forth. Piper took a step back and folded her arms, not taking her eyes off of MacCready. Nik turned to look at him as he, too, backed up. Her expression turned slightly softer as she mouthed the words ‘thank you’. MacCready nodded once, dragging his finger along the underside of the brim of his hat. She quickly looked away to hide her face from him before she blushed.

“Well, I have an idea,” Nick said. “There’s a place in Goodneighbor called the Memory Den, where you can re-live the past as if it’s right in front of you. Some people spend all their time and caps there, it's so real."

Nik's eyes widened, lifting her head to look at the detective. "That sounds like a fucking nightmare," she said.

"I second that," sounded MacCready from the back. Nick continued.

"Well, opinions aside, it should get you somewhere. It’s run by a lady named Dr. Amari. If we can manage to bring enough of Kellogg's brain matter to her, she may be able to help us find something worthwhile.”

“Ew, gross, Nick! Seriously?” Piper exclaimed, clearly unable to help herself.

“Too graphic for your big scoop?” MacCready said, eyeing Piper condescendingly. “Nik’s already got a piece of it with her, you want an exclusive?”

Nik looked down to hide her smile, again, as she lifted the pouch she was carrying into Nick’s line of sight.

“After I flattened his skull with my fists,” Nik started, feeling emboldened by MacCready's behavior and moving her head to stare directly at Piper now. “I noticed some hardware attached to some of his brains." She grinned as Piper shivered in disgust. “His right arm was also reinforced with titanium rods. Maybe this was the control. I don’t know. I wasn't much into sci-fi.”

The detective took a step forward to grab the bag, emptying its contents onto Elie’s desk. The secretary squirmed and turned away to occupy herself with some loose files.

“Cybernetics, huh?” Nick said, examining the pieces in between his metallic fingers. “This ain’t fiction, friend. We may have won the lottery.” 

Nik perked up immediately, a feeling of relief washing over her, knowing her efforts weren’t just for slaughter.

“Whether we’re riding this crazy train or not, not all of us can go running across the Commonwealth with you. Sooo, who’s coming with?” Piper asked, teetering on her feet expectantly.

“Um…” Nik started, looking around the room. Piper had her hands on her hips. Nick remained eerily still. She turned around to look at MacCready, who was leaning against the wall again. He looked at her and shrugged, clearly not forgetting what she said to him yesterday. 

Nick broke the silence. “I need to go to the Memory Den either way, since I’m introducing you to Amari. But if you want to head there together, just let me know.” Behind Nik, MacCready stood up straight and put his hands in his pockets.

“My base of operations is across the street from the Memory Den. We’ll all just go together and I’ll see you guys off.”

Nik nodded reluctantly, grabbing the pieces from the desk and returning them to the pouch. “I guess we’ll head there now.”

“Alright,” the detective said. “I’ll see you two later.” He gestured towards Nik and MacCready with his head before looking back towards Piper. “As for you, feel free to see yourself out.”

Chapter Text

When Nik entered the Memory Den, she couldn’t help but to feel taken aback by the state of the place. Old showgirl posters still hung on the wall, and most of the furniture was still lined with that classic red velvet that highlighted the venue’s original vibe. The past establishment was a cabaret, welcoming talent acts that ranged from musical groups to burlesque troupes. Nik used to dream about working there when she was a young teenager, before the local military presence increased and a single ticket rose in price from $20 to $175.

On what remained of the main stage was a woman laid out on a chaise lounge, wearing a silky red robe, her blonde hair coiffed neatly. She resembled Marilyn Monroe. Standing in front of her was Valentine, who appeared to laugh coyly whenever the woman spoke.

Nik turned towards MacCready slightly. “Are they flirting?” she asked, sounding confused.

MacCready smiled a little. “You telling me you don’t find Sir Noir Incarnate sexy?”

Nik laughed rather loudly, causing both the detective and the blonde to look at her. Nik closed her mouth and stood at attention.

“If you two are done, we can head downstairs to see Dr. Amari now,” Nick said, excusing himself from the woman, who cutely waved her hand in reply. Nik and MacCready began walking together.

“You, redhead,” the woman called, pointing a finger. Nik turned towards her, confused, and tried to ignore MacCready, whose face was present in the corner of her eye. “Do me a favor, would you? Make sure my Nicky doesn’t get himself into too much trouble? He’s just a big softy.”

MacCready, who never looked away from Nik, slowly widened his eyes and pressed his mouth closed tightly. Nik’s expression immediately broke and she pushed him forward towards the basement stairs.

“Sure thing, ma’am, thank you,” Nik replied frantically, trying to suppress her laughter. “Oh my god…”

“Poor Nicky!” MacCready exclaimed quietly, in a trans-atlantic accent. Nik stopped on the stairs and moved her hand from his shoulder to the wall and propped herself against it, letting her head fall as her shoulders shook. He stopped a step below her and looked up with a smile on his face.

“Ow, fuck,” she said, standing straight again, holding her wounded side.

“Sorry, Boss,” he said, without thinking. He turned quickly after realizing what he said, and continued down the stairs. Nik noticed it, too, and said the first thing that came to mind in an attempt to gloss over it.

“You ever been here before?” she asked, mostly because she was blushing, but also because she was genuinely curious whether or not he ever had the desire to utilize the Den’s services.

“Stepped in once,” he replied. “Was told I was more trouble than I was worth, so I just went back to the Third Rail with all the other misfits.”

“If only you had a cap for every time someone told you that, huh?” she said, smiling to herself proudly.

MacCready continued moving as he replied, “Yeah, if only. Maybe then I wouldn’t be worrying where my next job is coming from.”

Nik’s face immediately fell flat, and she rolled her eyes, finally giving up on her power grab from the day before. "Jesus, MacCready, don't you think I would've said something about you following me in here if I didn't want you to?" she said, shaking her head and quickly descending the last set of stairs. MacCready shrugged, then grinned to himself, feeling triumphant.

Who wouldn't want a shot as good as me at their side?, he thought, walking with a slight swagger now.

Entering the basement, Nik saw a woman in a Vault-Tec lab coat talking to Nick in between two adult-sized, pod-like machines. The glass encased the top half of the machine while the bottom was built around a leather seat. A small television was mounted to the glass. The walls of the basement were lined with tables and shelving, some holding medical supplies, and others, computers and other technical equipment. The room was cold, quiet, and smelled of dirt and antiseptic.

“Dr. Amari, this is my friend Nik. Nik, Dr. Amari,” the detective said to the two women, stepping back to allow Nik to step forward and shake the doctor’s hand.

“Nice to meet you,” Nik said, suddenly feeling anxious. She looked around the room until she spotted MacCready, who was taking a seat on a couch against a wall.

“It’s nice to meet you, as well. Nick tells me you’re in a bit of a predicament?”

Nik looked back and forth between the doctor and the detective nervously. “Uh, yeah. Nick brought you up to me. I hear it’s possible to search through someone’s memories here?” she asked, beginning to pull the leather pouch from her backpack.

“Yes, that is essentially what we do here. I take it you are the one in need of services?” she asked, her voice rich with skepticism. 

“Not exactly, doc,” Nick started, taking note of Nik’s unsure energy. “We need a brain dig but the perp is already cold on the floor.”

Dr. Amari’s eyes widened as she cocked her head. “Are you two mad? Do you realize what you are asking of me? Not only would that call for defiling a corpse, but you are aware an intact, living brain is required for my machines to function?”

“What if the corpse was already defiled beyond recognition?” MacCready asked cockily, leaning back on the couch with his legs outstretched. Nik couldn't help but to grin, and she immediately looked down to hide her face.

“This dead brain had inside knowledge on the Institute, Amari.” said Nick, taking charge of the conversation again. “We need this, and so do you.”

Dr. Amari thought to herself for a moment. “Fine. I’ll take a look, but, no guarantees.” She looked to Nik now, who was still fumbling with her bag. “Do you… have it with you?”

Nik approached the desk nearest the doctor and carefully emptied its contents onto the surface. Amari immediately reached for the piece of brain with the wiring attached. She lifted it closer to her face and rotated it inquisitively. 

“This… isn’t a brain. This is the hippocampus! And this… thing attached to it? It looks like some sort of neural interface?”

“Is it possible to hook it into me?” Nick asked.

“That’s what I was thinking,” Amari replied. “If we’re lucky, it should hook right in. But you would be taking on a tremendous risk. We are talking about wiring something directly to your brain.”

“Don’t worry about me, Doc. Let’s do it.” 

Nik looked back and forth between the two, doing her best to keep up. When she realized what Nick was agreeing to, a feeling of gratitude washed over her like an ocean wave, bringing with it a temporary feeling of calm.

“This really means a lot to me, Nick. Thank you.”

“Don’t worry about it, kid,” he smiled. “But if I start cackling like an old, grizzled mercenary, pull me out, okay?” Nik heard MacCready chuckle from behind her. Valentine sat on a stool in front of Amari as she removed a piece of plating from the back of his head and began fiddling with wires.

“Okay, let us see here… I need you to keep talking to me, Mr. Valentine. Any changes in your cognitive functions could be dire. Are you feeling any different?”

“There’s a lot of… flashes, and… static, I… I can’t make sense of any of it, doc.” Nick shifted in his seat slightly, appearing uncomfortable. Nik couldn’t help but to feel guilty.

“That is what I was afraid of. The mnemonic impressions are encoded.” Amari looked directly at Nik now. “It appears the Institute had one last fail safe. The memories are locked.”

“I can’t even begin to wrap my mind around how you lock memories. From a tech standpoint, anyway.” MacCready nodded to himself in agreement as Nik spoke. “So, what do we do?”

“Well… it could be risky, but we could try to use two brains. We load both you and Mr. Valentine into memory loungers. We run your cognitive functions in parallel. He will act as a host while your consciousness drives through whatever memories we can find.”

MacCready looked up now, directly at Nik, who appeared very still aside from the rather large breath she was steadily moving through herself.

“Any idea what I’m going to see in there?” she exhaled, sounding scared. MacCready leaned forward.

“I have no clue. But considering we only have a small piece of the medial temporal lobe, I imagine it won’t be… cohesive.”

Nik looked towards the ceiling for a moment and the air around her began feeling heavier than before.

“Okay… let’s do it,” Nik decided, knowing she had no choice.

Dr. Amari nodded and gestured towards a lounger. “Just, sit down over there, and… keep your fingers crossed.”

Valentine nodded towards Nik reassuringly and said, “See you on the other side.”

The two climbed into their respective pods. As they settled into the reclined chairs, the glass began to close around them. Valentine sat completely still, per usual. Nik, on the other hand, was beginning to panic. 

“Does this lid have to be closed?” she asked, sounding frantic.

“Yes, it does,” Amari replied, readying to initialize the process from behind her computer.

Nik’s chest began to heave faster as she lifted a hand to her throat. MacCready stood now, not having removed his attention from her since she agreed to participate.

“Hey, doc, she’s not doing alright in there,” he said, approaching Nik. Amari turned towards the pod and looked inside. Nik was looking up at MacCready, her arms crossed over her belly and her eyes wide and strained.

“Ah, yes, maybe she is claustrophobic. Um…” the doctor started, moving towards her table with medicine on it. MacCready continued to look at Nik. He pointed at her, then made a fist with his hand. He repeated those motions twice as he mouthed the words, ‘you’ve got this.’ Nik brought her hand to the side of the glass for a moment as Amari returned with a small jar in her hands. Nik noticed the jar, then quickly shook both hands dismissively.

“I’m fine, sorry, let’s just get this over with please,” she said, curling her hands into fists and closing her eyes.

Dr. Amari shrugged and moved back to her computer. “Well, alright then… initiating brain-wave migration between the transplant and the host. We have mnemonic activity coming from the transplant. It’s degenerated, but it’s there! We’re going to load you into the strongest memories we can find.”

Nik’s eyes moved from the screen in front of her, to her hands, to MacCready, who was still standing just outside the glass. Before she could begin to panic again, she suddenly fell into a state of consciousness similar to the space in between awake and asleep. She felt the sensation of her eyes opening, though she couldn’t be sure they had. What she was seeing was incomprehensible; she appeared to be standing on neural pathways, though she couldn’t feel anything beneath her feet. When she felt she was moving her head quickly, her field of vision shifted slowly. Wherever she was, it sounded like she was underwater.

“Can you hear me?” the doctor asked, turning around to observe her. Nik’s closed eyes fluttered open halfway before closing again. “Ah, good. The simulation appears to be working, though the memories appear quite fragmented. I’ll try to step you through intact memories. Hopefully we will find something that will give us a clue to the Institute’s location.”

The cluster of neurons illuminating in shades of red and purple beneath her feet began to move towards a single side and stretch outwards, creating what looked like a bridge. As she moved forward, she felt the sensation of stepping on solid ground. 

“That is the earliest intact memory I could find.” Amari said as an image of an incomplete room began to appear in front of her. As she approached it, she saw a young boy sitting on a bed reading comic books, and a woman slightly older than her sitting in a chair beside him. There was a radio on a small table between them, through which a host was talking about something called the ‘NCR’. Amari’s voice sounded again. “Remember, you are experiencing these memories as Kellogg. This could be disorienting.”

Nik continued looking around, realizing the child sitting on the bed was Kellogg. An indescribable feeling came over her and sent a shiver down her spine.

The woman on the chair handed the boy a revolver, after which he lifted it up to inspect it. When he held it in a way to look down its sights, the barrel happened to point directly at Nik.

She turned away from the image and covered her ears, but she could still hear the voices all the same.

“This doesn’t seem to be what we’re looking for… here, I’ve found another. Try this one.”

Nik immediately began walking forward onto another illuminated stretch of neural pathways. If it appeared she was stepping off path, she never felt like she was tripping, or falling, but would be guided forward naturally instead. The sensation was nauseating. 

The next memory opened up to her just as the other did; an incomplete room, minimal detail, and the people within it moving naturally despite the unnatural atmosphere. A grown man in a leather jacket stood over a stove, while a woman washed dishes in a sink beside him. She could see a barebones image of the Golden Gate Bridge outside of the window above the sink. 

Nik jumped as she heard a baby coo. She looked to her right and saw a baby lying in a crib. The baby appeared to be the same age as Shaun, and was swaddled in a blanket just like he was on the last day she saw him.

“Come on, Sarah,” the man said, turning from the stove and approaching the woman. “I’ve finally got a decent job with a good outfit. There’s nothing like that in the NCR these days.”

The nausea Nik felt crept to her throat as she realized the man speaking was Kellogg, the woman, his wife, and the baby in the crib, must be their child. Her mind began working in a frenzy. How could he ever take her baby from her if he was a father himself? How psychotic was he to be so detached from the experience of a parent? And for what? Money?

Why was it always about money?!

She snapped her head back towards the adults as Kellogg removed the same pistol from the previous memory and showed it to Sarah.

“See this?” he said. “This is going to keep you and Mary safe.”

A tear fell from her eye.

His child’s name is Mary. 

Was this some kind of sick joke?

Nik turned quickly again, looking out into the abyss for the flashing red and purple lights.

“Let’s keep looking,” Amari said.

The next memory appeared quickly and nearly directly in front of her. As it became visible, Nik’s mouth fell open. Kellogg was in front of her, standing in a hallway that looked exactly like the one in Fort Hagen, just before the entrance to the bunker. A voice was sounding from above as Kellogg walked forward angrily, holding an assault rifle in his hands. 

“How did you think this was going to end, Kellogg? You thought you could just fuck with us, and we wouldn’t fuck with you?” the voice said angrily. Nik followed from behind as the voice continued to speak. “Just so you know, they died, like dogs. And you? You weren’t there to protect them.”

Kellogg kicked open a door at the end of the hallway, just like she had, before he disappeared into nothingness.

Nik felt the sensation of her throat closing as she realized what she was witnessing. For whatever reason, his wife and daughter were abducted and murdered, and the voice overhead was taunting Kellogg, just like he had with her. 

This man allowed her and her family to be ruined and toyed with in the same way he had experienced himself. The irony took her breath away, and made her furious.

“I found another memory to try. I’ll connect you.” Amari’s voice echoed around her.

The next memory appeared unremarkable on the surface. She saw Kellogg sitting at a table, and standing in front of him were two people dressed in common Wasteland rags. One of the strangers spoke.

“So, I hear you take care of people’s problems?”

This was the first memory where Nik was able to see Kellogg’s adult face. He used to have hair, he was shaven, and didn’t have the scar across his face. She didn’t realize how much she was shaking until she turned away.

“Well, we seem to be getting closer. Let’s move to this next one.”

Nik stepped onto a slab of concrete. A bright light flashed on above her and she jumped backwards after seeing three robots standing beside a woman in a white uniform.

Kellogg's face now had the scar.

“So, you’re with the Institute, huh? I wanted to see for myself if you really existed.”

Nik’s heart leapt into her throat. She listened carefully.

“We do, as you can see,” the woman said, sitting at a table. The arm of her uniform had a red circle on it with some kind of black logo within it.

“So, what do you want?” Kellogg asked.

“It’s come to my attention that you’ve been rather…disruptive, of our operations lately. This must stop.”

“I do what people pay me to do. If that’s a problem for you, I only see one way out.”

“And what’s that, Mr. Kellogg?” the woman said. Nik remained still as she watched, keeping her eyes on the woman in case she revealed anything useful.

“If I’m working for you, there’s no more problem. From what I hear, you can afford me.”

“I don’t think you fully understand the situation you’re in.”

“I think I do.”

“Very well. B-748, initiate.”

Before any of the robots could raise their guns, Kellogg had managed to put one in a headlock and use it for cover while he quickly headshot the other two. As they fell, he released the one he was holding and pushed it forward before bringing it to the same fate. The sitting woman didn’t flinch at all.

“Impressive. We may have something to talk about after all.”

Nik was staring intently, waiting for the memory to continue, but it only began to replay instead.

“Getting warmer!” Amari said as another pathway appeared. “One of these has got to tell us something.

Nik’s head felt like it was pounding.

Ahead of her, Nik saw the beginning of another memory. This one didn’t look like a broken up bedroom or bar, but like the pathway into…  Vault 111. Two opposite rows of faint blue light illuminated the silhouettes of two figures dressed in full body personal protection equipment. Standing in front of them was Kellogg, holding his revolver.

Back in the basement of the Memory Den, Nik’s body began twitching erratically while her face went from still to uncomfortable and flushed. MacCready looked towards the occupied doctor, then back towards Nik. He began to move towards Amari to get her attention when he noticed the television on the inside of the pod was broadcasting whatever it was Nik must be seeing. He froze when he realized he was watching Kellogg move through a vault.

Nik backed herself into a railing as the memory fully illuminated. The two strangers manning the computer beside the cryo pods were wearing the same insignia on their clothing as the woman from the Institute in the previous memory.

“Just… find it,” she heard Kellogg say.

“Pod C6, down the hall near the end,” one said, as the other accompanied Kellogg as he began walking towards the end of the row of pods. Nik’s heart began hammering against her ribs as she realized what was happening. Before she could think, she moved forward, phasing through Kellogg as she stepped up to the pod she was in. She saw herself inside, coughing and gasping for air. She watched herself look around in confusion as an inhuman feeling of dread overcame her.

“Open it,” Kellogg said, causing Nik to turn around immediately. Her own memory began here.

Past Kellogg, she saw her husband, all of him, alive, as the door to the pod opened. He was coughing and gasping, but holding Shaun securely as he began to cry.

In the memory lounger, tears began to fall down the sides of Nik’s face as MacCready continued watching in horror. The images on the screen were scattered because Nik kept looking all over the place. She settled on what MacCready understood to be her husband and son, and he couldn’t help himself as he cringed and looked away.

“Is it over? Are we okay?” a new voice said. It was her husband.

“Almost. Everything’s going to be fine.” Kellogg said, eyeing him carefully.

“Come here, come here,” said one of the strangers, reaching forward and putting both hands on Shaun, attempting to take him from her husband’s arms.

“No, I’ve got him,” he said, still choking as he struggled to catch his breath. The stranger didn’t relent. “I said I’ve got him, what are you doing?!”

“Let, the boy, go,” Kellogg said, steadily lifting his revolver to the side of her husband’s head. “I’m only gonna tell you once.”

“I’m not giving you Shaun!”

In an instant, Kellogg fired, sending her husband’s head backwards as it opened at his forehead, sending a steady stream of blood down his face and along the back of the interior of the pod. His body immediately went limp as Shaun fell into the strangers’ prying arms.

Shaun was crying loudly, and the image on the screen went black as Nik must have fallen to the ground below her.

“God damnit. Get the kid and get out of here,” Kellogg said, ushering the stranger forward.  “At least we still have the backup.”

Nik lifted her head to see Kellogg peering into the pod she was in. The screen remained black.

“I’m, uh… I’m sorry you had to go through that again.” Amari said hesitantly. MacCready was unable to move.

Wherever Nik was, she slowly brought herself to her feet, and stood in front of the pod containing her husband’s dead body, staring through the glass at him. She lifted her hand to put it on the glass, but flinched backwards when the memory began to replay, turning the image of his bloodied body into one where he simply appeared asleep while holding Shaun again.

Nik’s heartrate spiked as she looked back and forth frantically, looking for the way out. When she found the lights, she ran full speed, desperate to leave the area before she heard any of that again, for the third time.

The next memory appeared in front of her before she could comprehend where she was. Sliding to a halt on her feet, she saw Kellogg dressed exactly how he was when she killed him, polishing his pistol on one end of the room. A radio was playing from somewhere in this room, the walls of which looked like Diamond City architecture, and she could’ve sworn the voice coming from the radio was Travis’s, who was the current Diamond City radio DJ. 

Nothing could’ve prepared her for what she saw when she looked away from Kellogg. There, sitting in the middle of the room on the floor, was a boy, who appeared to be about ten years of age. He was occupied with some comics and other drawings on the floor, dressed in a striped shirt, blue jeans, and Chuck Taylors.

His hair was red.

Nik immediately fell to the floor in front of the boy, crawling closer to him on her hands and knees. Even she knew she was crying now, the space in between consciousness not intangible enough to suppress this bodily reaction from her. 

MacCready watched as she lifted her hands to place them on the boys cheeks, which landed on nothing, and phased through the image of Shaun. Nik looked towards the ground in defeat as MacCready put his hand over his mouth. 

“One of these days you’re going to get your head blown off barging in here like that.” Kellogg said. Nik continued to stare at Shaun, looking over every square inch of his face and body that she could.

“Minimizing my exposure to civilians is a priority.” A strange voice sounded.

“Forget I said anything. So what’s the big crisis this time?”

“New orders from you. One of our scientists has left the Institute.”

“‘Left’? As in, he’s gone rogue?”

“Name’s Brian Virgil. We know he’s hiding somewhere in the Glowing Sea. Here’s his file.”

“Wow. Some heads are gonna roll for this. Capture and return, or…?”

“Elimination. He was working on a highly classified program.”

“No kidding. One of the top bioscience boys… damn. So… I guess you’re taking the kid back with you?”

Nik finally turned towards the men now as Shaun lifted his head to look at them. The stranger was dressed in all black, his trench coat and sunglasses leaving little to the imagination. Who the hell was he?!

“Affirmative. Your only mission is to locate and eliminate Virgil.”

“You’re taking me home to my father?”

Nik clutched her chest and opened her mouth in a silent wail at the sound of Shaun’s voice.

“Yes. Stand next to me, and hold still.” 

She crawled towards Shaun’s feet as he stood, attempting to grab them despite knowing it would not work. Shaun simply walked through her and stood next to the man across the room.

“Bye Mr. Kellogg! I hope I get to see you again soon!”

Nik scrambled backward as the strange man and her son evaporated within two abrupt beams of charged blue light, which appeared out of nowhere from within the room. She remained still, watching in horror as Kellogg said, “Bye.”

The color in the room faded as Dr. Amari spoke. “Teleportation. Now it all makes sense! No one has found the entrance to the Institute, because there is no entrance!”

Nik stood to her feet and looked around frantically, not knowing which way was out. She could feel her chest tightening and her breathing struggling to remain stable. 

The space of nothing from which she came did not show the synapses anymore. She turned towards the door in the room and tried to open it, but her hand simply phased through its lever. She turned around, whipping her head back and forth, her eyes falling on the spot where Shaun was just sitting. The comics were not there anymore.

“Let me pull you out of there,” Amari said, typing in one last command on her computer before turning towards the pod Nik was in. “Whenever you’re ready.”

MacCready took a step back to give the doctor room to open the pod, his face frozen in a state of horror. Nik’s unconscious body began to flail wildly as Amari struggled to disconnect her.

“She’s not exiting the simulation,” she said, turning towards Valentine, who had already been disconnected and was sitting on the couch attempting to collect himself. He didn’t respond as MacCready practically barged into the woman, attempting to look at the television again. On the screen, Nik was moving frantically within the room, throwing herself at the door, running over to a set of stairs that led nowhere, and looking back towards Shaun on the floor when the memory began to repeat itself. 

“Did you tell her how?!” MacCready asked, not removing his eyes from the screen as she fell to the floor again. The song ‘It’s All Over But the Crying’ was playing through the speakers. MacCready began to panic as he watched her look towards the radio which was mounted below a television in the room. She threw herself at it, he assumed to get it to stop, when her eyes suddenly flew open within the pod.

Amari and MacCready took a step back as Nik pounded on the glass from the inside and kicked it open with her feet. 

“Slow movements, okay?” Amari said, her hands raised cautiously in front of her. MacCready attempted to assist Nik out of the pod, but her flailing arms pushed him away as she fell out of it instead, landing on her knees and gasping for air.

“What the… fuck?!” she screamed, losing her breath between the words. She attempted to stand but fell again.

“No one’s ever done this before, Nik,” Amari started, before being cut off by a guttural scream. MacCready turned himself slightly as he looked towards the ceiling. The sounds of her agony disturbed him beyond reason. “Nik, look at me, I need to examine you. We need to be sure you haven’t sustained any long-term damage.”

Nik stood quickly, almost losing balance, and brought her hands to the top of her head as she winced. “Pretty sure I’ve already got that, Doc!” she screamed, moving herself around without direction. She was sweating, her eyes were burning with tears. She bent her top half over and put her hands on her knees. MacCready approached her cautiously and put his hands on her back and arm, trying to help her hold her own weight. She did not fight his touch.

“Oh, dear,” Amari said, turning towards her collection of medicine and grabbing a syringe of Med-X and two cans of water. “You need to rest,” she continued, helping MacCready guide her towards the couch where Nick was sitting. He appeared to have fully come-to now, but was sitting even more still than normal, staring straight ahead and not reacting to Nik’s condition whatsoever.

“Are you ready to talk about what happened in there?” Dr. Amari asked, wincing slightly as Nik continued to sob. She simply shook her head in reply. “Okay, well… I will give you two a minute while I take Mr. Valentine upstairs. I’m sure Irma would like to speak with him.”

Nik didn’t protest as the doctor gently guided Valentine out of the room. Beside her, MacCready looked down sheepishly. Though it was hard for him to admit, his heart had broken for her. He couldn’t imagine losing both his partner and child at the same time.

Slowly, he lifted his hand, and gently placed it on her back. To his surprise, she did not push him off. After a moment, he began moving it in slow circles. He felt his heart begin to pound harder as he attempted to speak.

He was terrified, but everything in him told him to, so he said to her what he had been saying to himself for a couple of days now.

“I’m so sorry,” he said quietly, bracing himself for whatever her response would be. With an exasperated cry, Nik sat up straight and threw her upper body towards him, who had instinctively opened his arms to catch her. She grabbed him by the shoulder blades, hard, her fingers practically digging into his back as she grabbed his coat. She held herself against him while continuing to cry steadily as he lowered his head onto her shoulder, his own hands continuing to rub the area above her lungs gently as she struggled to breathe.

“I’m…” she said, her body beginning to shake steadily. “I’m so tired.”

MacCready nodded, finally lifting his head from her shoulder. “I know.”

Nik sat up straight at the sound of his voice. She pushed herself onto the back of the couch and stared ahead of herself blankly, her head hanging slightly.

“I’m sorry,” she said, grabbing her bag from beside her and beginning to stand.

“Nik, what…?” MacCready said, looking up at her. “Sorry? No," he said, attempting to reach for her hand, but she yanked it out of his reach. He began to feel uneasy as he sensed she was about to ditch. "I think you should sit, and talk to the doctor,”

Nik shook her head wildly, then looked around the room. She had left her glasses on a nearby table and put them back on her face, then hastily tied up her hair. She looked towards MacCready one more time.

“I’m sorry.”

Sure enough, Nik ascended the basement stairs, moving faster as she went. She didn’t know where she was going, but she knew she needed to get the fuck out of there.

Chapter Text

What a fucked up motherfucking world.

Growing up in prewar times, watching a nuclear bomb detonate, and waking up two-hundred years later to the Wasteland just wasn’t enough. Someone with more power than her decided every monumental step she took would only be rewarded with an answer so small, it presented more questions than solutions. Someone with more power than her decided to murder her husband and steal her baby, and she was barely scraping by during her efforts to find him. And to top it all off, because of someone more powerful than her, she was just made to experience the most traumatic event of her life over again, before she saw a clear vision of her now ten-year old son occupying the same space as the man who murdered his father.

She felt powerless. And it made her furious.

Nik’s footsteps rocked the floor beneath her as she marched towards the Memory Den’s exit. She almost didn’t see Nick sitting in a chair just outside the door until the sound of Kellogg’s distorted voice emerged from his mouth.

“Hope you got what you were looking for inside my head,” he said, and Nik’s blood ran cold. “I was right. I should’ve killed you while you were on ice.”

Valentine finally blinked and raised his hand to his head, seemingly about to speak again. Before he could, Nik had thrown herself out of the main doors and stomped into the streets, raising her hands to her head, then throwing her fists down to her sides. She looked to the sky and screamed.

“Hey!” a Goodneighbor watchman called, approaching her steadily. “No withdrawing in the streets, take that shit somewhere else!”

She crouched, and pulled on her jacket at its sides, then stood again, taking her nails to the sides of her face and digging into her skin. The watchman got closer to her now and she took a step back, drawing her gun and pointing it straight at his head.

“Go ahead, motherfucker!” she screamed, moving closer to him as the man lifted his submachine gun. “Go on! Do it! Fucking do it!”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” a smooth voice called out from above. Nik’s eyes darted towards the source. On a balcony above the Third Rail, which was draped in a red, white, and blue banner, stood Mayor Hancock, who she hadn’t seen since her first day in Goodneighbor. “Hold up there, sister. Let me talk to you. Sam, bring her up here,” he said, and the man beside Nik lowered his gun and scoffed.

“Hopefully he shuts you up,” he said, gesturing his head to the side. Nik spit at his feet and gave him the middle finger as she turned towards the entrance to Goodneighbor’s town hall with a gun pointed at her back. The man opened the door and pushed her inside, slamming the door shut behind her.

“Asshole!” she yelled towards the door, before turning and being met by more guards surrounding a spiral staircase. One of them pointed upwards. Nik reluctantly began walking up, and kept going until she reached the floor beneath the attic, where a large room opened up in front of her. Two long couches sat across from each other in the middle of the room, with a table in between them. On the table itself was a large assortment of jars, syringes, tins and something that looked like inhalers. Standing near the landing on the balcony was Hancock, turning now to face his guest.

“What’s going on, sister?” he said, moving to one of the couches and taking a seat. He extended his arm outwards and gestured towards the other. “Please, sit.”

Nik didn’t take her eyes off of him as she proceeded forward. She removed her bag from her back as she sat, placing it on her lap. Hancock stretched an arm along the back on the couch and watched her carefully with a smile on his face. Nik continued to stare back, expression unmoving. Her right leg was bouncing wildly against the floor.

“Did I disturb the peace,” she finally asked in a monotone voice, tired of feeling like a trapped mouse in Hancock’s grip of silence and expectation. He chuckled in reply and crossed one leg over the other. 

“Not the first time someone’s come out of that place screaming bloody murder, babe,” he said, bringing a small rocks-style glass to his mouth. He took a drink then leaned forward and lifted a bottle of dark rum, pouring it into an identical empty glass in front of Nik. She immediately leaned forward to take it, and drank it in one go. Hancock smirked as he poured her another. “Rum fan?” he asked, looking all over her face, then down towards her body. He was disappointed that her torso was covered by the bag.

“Just glad it isn’t whiskey,” she muttered, taking another large drink. She relaxed slightly and allowed herself to lean against the couch now. Hancock did the same and continued to stare at her. Nik shifted uncomfortably and finished her drink again. 

“So, what’s your story, sister?” he asked, pushing the bottle of rum towards her. “Or, should I call you…?”

Nik leaned forward and grabbed it.

“Nik. N-I-K,”

“Huh, Nik. I like that,” he said, craning his head to the side. 

“Thanks,” she said, drinking directly from the bottle now.

“So,” Hancock said, tapping his foot. “I’ll cut to the chase. It doesn’t take a ghoul as good-looking as myself to tell you’re one hell of a woman,” he said, smiling to himself slyly. “Surely, you’ve got some stories to share. If anything, as an exchange for my generosity?”

Nik scoffed, only realizing now that she was being flirted with. 

“Generosity, huh?” she challenged, setting the empty bottle down. “I could’ve bought my own.”

“So you take care of yourself?” 

She nodded.

“Looked like you were having a pretty rough go at it back there,” he said, bringing his leg back down to the floor.

“Yeah, well. Sign of the times, I guess,” she said, moving her bag to her side now. Hancock looked down at her chest unapologetically.

“Tell me, Nik,” Hancock started, leaning over the table and fumbling with a metal tin of what, to her, appeared to be candies. “It’s your third day in Goodneighbor, now. You ran off with MacCready for a while, then you come back, go into the Memory Den with him, then come out alone, screaming your head off.” Nik stared at him intensely now, crossing her arms. “Forgive me if my curiosity is… unbecoming.”

She took a deep breath, growing more concerned over just how far he would push the topic, and not so much whether or not he was going to pressure her to sleep with him. She figured he must have known what he was doing, given his attitude.

Well, two can play at that game.

Fuck it.

“That’s alarmingly accurate, Mayor. You’ve been watching me?” She asked as she undid her hair from the tie it was in, letting her red curls fall down the sides of her arms and along the front of her chest. Hancock fell still as he continued to stare. “How do you know MacCready?” she asked, raking her fingers through her hair and fluffing it. Hancock smiled knowingly.

“Kid’s been in and out of Goodneighbor for a while now. Good kid. Pulled him a favor and let him set up shop in the Third Rail. That where you met him?”

Nik nodded, finally feeling the alcohol settle in her torso. A wave of warmth came over her, and she unzipped her jacket to free her neck, knowing damn well what she was doing.

“What’d you do to him down there?” he asked, staring at her newly revealed skin. He removed a circular tablet from the tin, which she now saw was labeled ‘Mentats', and placed it on his tongue before bringing it into his mouth. 

Nik stared forward, struggling to answer. 

“Cat got your tongue?” Hancock teased, pushing the tin towards her. She looked at it with just her eyes before looking back up at him.

“What are they,” she asked, disregarding whatever suspicions he may gain by her question. Instead of asking anything, he simply answered.

“Mentats. Helps clear the head. Disregards emotion, emphasizes logic…”

Nik looked at him suspiciously.

“...improves perception.” he finished, biting his lower lip slightly as he made a point to clearly look her up and down, again. Nik leaned forward, refusing to remove her own gaze from his. She took a piece from the tin and placed it in her mouth before leaning back again. Within a few seconds, the anxiety she was feeling became practically nonexistent. After a minute, while looking around the room and examining the suitcase, stove, and shelf placed against the wall, she noticed the colors she was seeing appeared much more vibrant and crisp, while the sounds she was hearing became more clear. She looked down at her hands, which were still.

She looked back up at Hancock, who was smiling at her. “Cigarette?” he asked, gesturing towards the table with his hand. Nik quickly grabbed one and lit it, immediately feeling a sensation of euphoria move through her core.

She exhaled slowly, letting her head fall backwards over the back of the couch. Hancock took another Mentat as he continued to look at her exposed neck.

A few minutes passed before she lifted her head again. The sensations weren’t as intense as they were at the start, but she still felt affected. Most triumphantly of all, her mind was quiet, which only happened when she was blackout drunk.

Nik looked back at Hancock, steadily now, putting together everything he had been saying up to this point.

“What do you know, and why are you pretending you don’t?” she asked, extinguishing her cigarette in the ashtray in front of her. Hancock smiled as he replied.

“I’m an intellectual man, Nik. I fancy myself a good read, every now and then,” he said, standing up and moving towards the shelf behind him. When he turned back around he was holding a folded bundle of papers in his hand. 

“That counts as a ‘good read’?” she challenged, knowing exactly what he was holding. He laughed.

“Well… it’s not somethin’ you see every day, that’s for sure.”

“Wish I could say the same,” she said coldly, leaning into the side of the couch and folding her legs to the side. Hancock returned to his seat and tossed the paper onto the table. “There something you’re just aching to ask me?” She said, tilting her head. When it came to this game, she refused to be the loser. “Or did you just not want to drink alone for once?”

Hancock laughed louder this time. “You know, when I first saw you, I knew I’d have to keep my eye on you. Lucky me, you make that real easy.”

She took a deep breath and exhaled it slowly. “Now that one, I can’t tell if it's flattery, or a fair assessment of recent behaviors.” He smiled.

“Oh, I like the way you talk, Nik,”  he said, taking a drink. He set the glass back down and looked at her again. “While I wish we could sit and chat ‘til the sun goes down, I know I can’t keep you forever.”

Nik looked at him expectantly. “What do you want?”

“Something I can’t have, baby,” he said, sighing loudly. “But that’s besides the point. Believe it or not, I just wanted to check on ya. Most folks have their heads too far up their own asses to put the pieces together, but it came real easy to me. I figured you’d be a mess after coming out of the Den, but I didn’t expect you to point a gun at one of my guys.”

Nik looked down for a moment, dragging her nails against her leg lightly. “Yeah, well…”

“No need to apologize,” he said, cutting her off. She looked at him with a confused expression on her face. “Just, don’t do it again, will ya? I can’t have my townspeople thinking I run a loose ship around here.”

She was tempted to make a joke about his hat, but remained silent instead. After a moment, he leaned forward and grabbed a full tin of Mentats, extending his arm to give it to her. “If these help, take ‘em.” She hesitated, and he continued. “C’mon, don’t leave me hanging. Call it a gift. And before you say anything, your beautiful presence was enough,” he finished, winking.

Nik grabbed the tin, staring at it for a moment before shoving it into her bag. “Thanks, Hancock,” she said, beginning to stand. He moved to join her.

“It’ll help you make good decisions,” he said, gesturing towards the door, insisting she leave first. He followed her down the stairs until they reached the main door. It bothered her that she couldn’t figure out what he meant by that.

“Don’t be a stranger, alright?” he said, moving to open the door for her. Nik nodded her head once and moved down the stairs into the street. “Oh, one more thing,” Hancock said, leaning against the doorframe. “Tell MacCready hi for me. That son of a bitch is one lucky dog.” he finished, smiling cockily. 

“Um, we’re not–” Nik started, before Hancock winked, waved, then shut the door in her face. Nik stared forward emptily, feeling unsure about that entire interaction. Hancock was a flirt, but he didn’t feel like a threat. She felt it was odd to assume that, given the fact he made it clear he had been watching her. He even had a copy of her interview with Piper. But not once did she feel compromised. She even felt good after the Mentat. 

Was he just… helping her out? And that’s it?

Her suspicious mind struggled to believe that.

She couldn’t figure why he had any interest with her in the first place besides the spectacle that is her story. But, she’d be lying if she said she didn’t like the attention, and the way he spoke. 

Suddenly, she thought of MacCready, and she closed her eyes.

“I know.”

The sound of his voice in her head was interrupted by Valentine’s coming from across the alleyway.

“Nik, there you are,” he said. She shook her head to herself and began walking towards him. “I didn’t scare you off that bad, did I? Irma told me I was talking like–”

“It’s okay, Nick,” she said, raising her hand to stop him from continuing. “It’s not your fault. I just… I freaked out after everything,” she said, lowering her hand from her chest and releasing a breath. “It’s not your fault.” 

He nodded thoughtfully. “Did you talk to Amari before you left?” 

She shook her head. “The last thing I wanted to do was talk.”

“I get that, kid. But I know you know we need to think over everything we saw and try to figure out what to do next.”

Nik looked to the sky, and closed her eyes. The hysteria she felt thirty minutes ago was entirely absent, and all she saw was reason, now. After a moment, she nodded. “Right.” She moved towards the wall and leaned on it, crossing her arms. “So… the Institute was about to take him out, before they decided to hire him instead.”

“Mhm,” Valentine agreed. “Not surprising, unfortunately. His… work, was well-known in the area before they recruited him. There's a reason I thought of him when you first came to me, you know.”

She nodded thoughtfully and began tapping her foot. “Who was that guy he was talking to in the last memory? The one that teleported in?” she asked, doing her best not to think of Shaun, but of the strange man in the trench coat.

“My best guess is some high-level Institute agent, especially if he has the ability to teleport at his own discretion," he answered, looking around himself cautiously. “My question is, who was it they were looking for? What was the name?”

Nik thought for a moment. “Virgil, I think. Then, something about the Glowing Sea?”

The detective nodded thoughtfully. “The Glowing Sea is nasty business. If he’s there, it’s for a reason.”

“Well, he must be hiding, right? He defected, I’m sure he knows he’s a target. They wanted Kellogg to hunt him down and kill him.”

“If he’s alive, he may know something about how their brand of teleportation works.”

“How do you know he’ll talk?”

“I don’t. But, we share a common enemy, right? There’s got to be some common ground there.”

Nik shrugged. “How do I get to the Glowing Sea?”

Valentine hesitated. “That’s… quite the trek, Nik. As the name suggests, it’s a sea of straight radiation. It’s where the nearest bomb landed and the radiation never cleared.”

Nik frowned and closed her eyes. “I suppose not one step of this can be easy, huh,” she said, pushing her back against the wall.

“Nothing that’s worth anything is ever easy,” Nick said, placing a hand on her shoulder. Nik smiled a little and nodded once. “You’ve got a lot of work ahead of you, kid. But you can do it. Before you even think about heading that way, you’re going to need some serious equipment. A hazmat suit, or maybe even power armor.”

Nik sighed heavily. “Where can I find a hazmat suit?” 

“If Daisy here doesn’t have one, I believe Becky Fallon back in Diamond City has a couple. One for both you and MacCready,” Nik let her head hit the wall. “Speaking of which, where did he go?”

“I, uh… I don’t know,” she said, shaking her head to herself.” I jumped the gun the other day and told him to fuck off after he pissed me off. I asked him to help me put the pieces together while I dealt with this brain bullshit, then I ran off after I woke up. As far as I know, he got tired of my back and forth and left.” She looked to the ground, feeling slightly embarrassed.

Nick chuckled. “Well, something tells me he wouldn’t have gone far, especially without you. He stays here, does he not?” he asked, pointing towards the sign above the Third Rail’s entrance. Nik looked up at it, then back down again. “Hey, it’s up to you, friend. It’s your mission, your life. You do what you need to do, alright?”

She nodded, and sighed. “Thanks, Nick. For everything.”

Valentine nodded. “I’ve got to get back to the office, there’s some work I need to catch up on. You want to head back together? I can introduce you to Becky.”

Nik thought to herself for a moment, looking back and forth from the detective to the sign on the wall. 

“I’ll catch up with you later, Nick. Be careful.”

~

Nik ended up in the same room in the Rexford she was in a few days ago. The air felt thick and warm. The poorly boarded window didn’t allow much airflow, and she knew she wouldn’t be able to stand being there long. But she had a lot to think about, and even more to take note of in her journal, before her unreliable memory inevitably pushed out recent traumatic thoughts without her consent. 

She set herself down on her bed, removing her bag and jacket. She sat still for a moment, casually tapping her fingers against the air, forearms on her thighs as she leaned forward.

Right.

The Mentat was helping her maintain a clear line of thought and recollection as she brought her journal to her desk and began writing.

The Memory Den was a fucking nightmare. As much as she didn’t want to believe it, Kellogg was one of those pathetic prick types. The worst of the worst, in her opinion;  the kind that takes their pain and turns it into everyone else’s problem. Everyone has pain, everyone gets hurt, and what sets good people apart from bad people is whether or not they choose to inflict the pain they’ve experienced on others without remorse. 

She had no sympathy for him. Instead of avenging Sarah and Mary and leaving it at that, he decided to work for an organization notorious for tearing families and communities apart, for reasons she still hadn’t figured out yet.

The Institute takes people, and it happens often enough for that fact to become a consensus amongst common citizens. Why do they do this? Why did they want Shaun, when there were so many others in the vault?

He was the only baby…

Tap tap tap.

Shaun is around ten now. She didn’t consider the possibility more time had passed, even though she clearly recalled being refrozen. She must have missed something along the way.

Shaun looked so cute now. It made her want to feel angry, thinking about how he grew for all those years without her around to keep him safe and encourage him during every milestone of his development. She missed him as a toddler, a kinder. His first words, his first steps. All of it. 

She felt an urge in her bones to burn herself alive, but because of the Mentat, she didn’t feel bothered by the thought.

Before the drug, she freaked out, because of course she did. The last thing she was expecting to see was what happened in the Vault, again. Watching Nate get shot, again, with a closer view this time, made her stomach ache. Nate was complicated, especially near the end, but he never deserved to die like that. 

She stopped writing as she stared at the pen in her hand. 

Oh, Nate… I’m sorry I couldn’t save you… not then, or before…

She shook her head and looked back at her paper, rereading where she left off.

The strange man in the trench coat. The way he talked was even more robotic and monotone than her. She wrote the word SYNTH in large capital letters with three question marks.

He and Shaun disappeared by means of teleportation. How in the world is that technology even possible? And if that’s the only way in, how in the fuck is she supposed to make it there?

Tap. Tap.

Tap.

Instead of sinking into a feeling of defeat, she continued to write.

Virgil. Bioscientist. Defector.

Glowing Sea.

Valentine said she needed a hazmat suit or power armor. If she was ever going to use one of those godforsaken suits, this would be the one and only time.

If the Glowing Sea is uninhabited and covered in lethal amounts of radiation, would that mean it’s completely deserted? More likely, it’s a home for something that she had no business being within a ten-mile radius of, let alone a few feet.

Nik felt her heartrate rise steadily in her chest again as the trail of what she knew ended here, and what she didn’t know, began.

She slammed her pen on the desk and moved back to the bed to retrieve her bag. Right at the top was the tin of Mentats.

What’s the addiction rate on these things?

Fuck it.

She took one before counting how many remained in the container.

Returning to the desk, she grabbed the pen again.

Tap tap tap.

Who could she talk to to find more information on the Glowing Sea? Nick, probably. Maybe Piper.

Or, maybe not.

Taptaptaptaptap.

MacCready. He’s had something to teach her about everything so far.

She lifted the back of her hand and placed it on her cheek as she suddenly felt warm in the face.

He’s gotta be at the Third Rail, right? Even if he did just ditch, which she doubted, it’s not like he had anywhere else to go. As far as she knew, at least.

It suddenly dawned on her how little she knew about him. In the same instant, she began writing his name on a fresh piece of paper.

McReedie.

McKreadie.

MacKreeDee.

Mac. Creed. 

Mac Creedie. 

Creedy?

Hm.

She’d have to ask.

What if he doesn’t know how to read or write?

No, he has to be able to, he's smart.

His gun was a bolt action sniper rifle. Personally modified, she noted, given the type of stock was clearly different than most rifles of that build, and the style of bolt lever was never mass-produced on a factory model like that.

He smelled like gun oil and pine.

What’s the Capitol like? Does he have family? How old is he?

If the Capitol was his home, why is he here?

She closed her journal and threw it towards her bag.

She wanted to see him.

Chapter Text

The basement of the Memory Den hummed as the machines within them continued idling down. On the couch still was MacCready, looking down at his empty hands, which were but two minutes ago holding Nik as she embraced him. He hadn’t expected her to do that; for several days straight, he firmly believed she simply tolerated him out of convenience, and nothing else. But she allowed him to hold her for a fleeting moment, and he wondered if that was because she trusted him, or if she was just desperate for comfort from anywhere in a moment of intense emotional distress. For the latter, he couldn’t fault her.

What a horrible thing to experience one time, let alone twice. 

The hollow feeling in his chest expanded as he replayed images from the television in his mind. To witness such visceral reactions out of her always made him react with some level of sympathy, but after seeing what he saw down here, a deep sense of understanding overcame him.

MacCready knew what it was like to lose a spouse in a tragic, violent way. He turned his hands over as he thought of Lucy, his wife of eight months, but partner for many more. The growing hole in his chest splintered and ached at the mental image of her smile, which was becoming more and more faded with time. It had been years now, but the constant void living within him hadn’t faded in the slightest, and neither had the guilt.

The effects of time touched many things, but not all.

MacCready’s eyes fluttered shut as he took a deep breath. To his left, Dr. Amari entered the room alone, and was taken aback by the sight of him sitting by himself.

“Where did Nik go?” she asked, turning her head over her shoulder as if she’d be hiding on the stairs behind her. MacCready, broken out of his daze, moved to stand and gather his rifle.

“You didn’t see her?” he asked, recalling the sound of her booted footsteps pounding on the main floor, followed by the sound of the front door slamming shut. 

“No, clearly I did not, or I wouldn’t be asking. Was she in a better state when she left?”

MacCready scoffed and shook his head. Dr. Amari exhaled a breath out of her nose as she started walking towards her desk between the memory loungers.

“Well, that’s no good,” she said, accessing her terminal with four clicks of the keyboard. “She may need medical attention if she begins experiencing any concerning cognitive symptoms, such as short-term memory loss, aggravation, or violent behaviors.”

MacCready laughed out loud to himself, and Dr. Amari shot him an intense and judgmental look in reply. “Well, she’s overdue, then,” he said, shaking his head as he started up the stairs.

~

As he exited the building, he squinted his eyes and lifted his forearm over the brim of his hat, attempting to block the sunlight from his dilated pupils. After his sight adjusted he scanned the area ahead of him, hoping to see Nik. When she wasn’t there, he decided to check the hotel. The front desk claimed she had not checked in, and KL-E-O and Daisy had not seen her, either. By that point he was convinced she was in the Third Rail, so much so he mentally kicked himself; of course she’d be at the bar, she drinks when she’s stressed, just like him. But as he descended the stairs into the club, expecting to see her on a stool in front of Charlie, she wasn’t there. He even peeked into the VIP room, which was empty.

The anticipation of intercepting her became replaced by a sinking feeling of dread. She had been hinting at it long enough, and perhaps after her experience in the memory lounger, she finally decided to move on without him. The last thing she said to him was ‘I’m sorry’, which would fit just right in this growing theory of his.

Can you blame her?

The front of indifference on his face sank into a deep frown as he took a seat at the bar, on the same stool he waited for her on the day after she hired him. He wondered if he sat there long enough, would she just appear in his peripheral, like she always had?

Keep dreaming, jackass.

“What’ll it be, kid?” Charlie said, releasing a rag from one of his many arms while MacCready shifted his eyes away from his pockets and towards the counter.

“Usual. As many as this’ll get me,” he mumbled, shoving a large handful of caps onto the counter. Charlie scanned the pile, then turned towards a plastic crate behind him, moving bottles into it. When it was full, he pushed it towards the end of the back counter.

“Just take that, would ya? If ya break or steal my crate I’ll have Hancock ban your sorry ass.”

MacCready chose to ignore him as he hoisted the crate against his lower torso and walked into the VIP room. This area of the bar usually remained entirely vacant ever since MacCready was given the green light by Hancock to solicit possible clients there. ‘Whatever brings in foot traffic,’ the mayor had said, as if he were using caps from Charlie’s bar to fix potholes in the road and not maintain a steady stream of chems for both personal and community use.

“Whatever,” MacCready said to himself, sitting in the same chair he always sat in, opening a bottle, and taking a drink. 

Fuck it all.

~

Nearly five hours had passed since he parked himself in the VIP room. He visited Charlie two more times since then, and the bathroom many more than that. The belligerent voices in his head were much quieter now, but the pink and orange lighting in the VIP room was invasive and gave him a headache. He hadn’t expected to be back here so soon, but at least his last job paid four-hundred. 

Between Diamond City and Goodneighbor, he spent a decent amount of his caps replenishing basic supplies, making small repairs to his rifle, and indulging in more alcohol than he should have. He had decided to put together a care package soon to send home, which he figured would leave him with around fifty caps. Fifty would be enough to ensure he didn’t starve for a few weeks, but it didn’t do anything to lessen the stress and misery stirring in his bones; on top of needing to send supplies and funds back home, there was still Winlock, Barnes, and the rest of the Gunners to worry about. If it weren’t for them, he’d hop on one of Daisy’s caravans and head back to the Capital in an instant, but he couldn’t run the risk of putting Daisy’s people in danger like that.

It was just a matter of time before they showed up to try and intimidate or kill him again. It would take weeks of work, if he could find any, to come up with an amount of caps that may pacify them enough to let him walk away.

He doubted they’d allow him to anyway, hundreds of caps spent or not.

As if he didn’t have enough to worry about.

He took another drink, emptying the bottle and adding it to the growing pile of empties he had accumulating on the table beside him.

His eyes moved slowly as he looked towards the hallway, listening to the sound of Magnolia’s singing echoing against the walls with a disgruntled look on his face. He wished they would just play the jukebox instead. He opened another beer as he turned in his seat. 

He was begging for a distraction, but he just couldn’t stop thinking about Nik. His pride wanted to know why she didn’t choose to keep him around, but in his heart he knew he wasn’t entitled to an answer, let alone anything else she had to offer him.

MacCready hung his head, feeling pathetic. He couldn’t believe he let himself think they were forming some sort of friendship, or something. Making friends was nearly impossible for him, given his line of work, nevermind his standoffish, sarcastic personality. His nose twitched in annoyance. 

People suck.

He took a drink.

It’s not like she made it easy, either. How was he supposed to know what to do or what to say, when one day she’s asking him to help her, and the other, she’s slapping him across the face?

You know you’re better off alone. 

He took a drink.

But… she still talked to him. Eventually, at least. And little by little. Not only that, but… she was smart. Skilled. And, damnit, she was funny. She laughed at his jokes. That’s something he wasn’t used to in the slightest, but he knew it made him feel good. Like he could breathe, when everything going on in his mind left him choking.

MacCready let his head fall into the back of the chair repeatedly as he closed his eyes. 

Work. Caps. Home. That’s it.

He took another drink.

Work. Caps. Home.

His leg began to bounce rapidly.

Work.

You work for her, and then what?

Caps.

It’ll never be enough.

Home.

Everyone you care for will die.

With a snarl on his face he hurled the bottle in his hand and watched as it crashed into the wall, shattering on impact and sending brown streaks down the tiled wall.

If only Winlock and Barnes walked in tonight, he would’ve shot them dead on the spot.

MacCready remained still long enough to send a shooting pain up the side of his back. He decided to stand, but stumbled over his own feet, sending him back into a sitting position.

“Okay…” he said to himself, bringing a hand to his face. It was his intention to drink until he couldn’t feel lonely anymore, but despite his fleeting consciousness and compromised motor skills, that’s all he felt. It made him want to disappear. The idea of sleep was inviting in that way, but he wasn’t tired; on the back of everything that happened today, he was feeling wired, and like he had something to prove.

Slowly this time, he stood. When he turned to gather his rifle and beer, he nearly fell into the table. Once he collected himself he turned towards the hallway and slowly moved forward with a heavy, unstable gait. 

Maybe he should get another drink. Maybe he could go for a walk. Maybe he could visit Daisy.

Maybe he could look for Nik again.

“Yeah, a walk sounds great.”

With a heated feeling of purpose he became more steady as he walked out of the VIP room. He figured he would take a walk, maybe scavenge for scrap to trade, and say a prayer for whatever Raider asshole crossed his path. That's what he told himself, anyway.

And if he happened to run into Nik, then...

As he turned the corner at the bottom of the stairs, he collided with someone. His expression turned angry as he looked up, preparing to fight with whoever the unlucky bastard was.

“Hi, MacCready”, Nik said, causing him to halt immediately. A hot chill moved through his body as he looked at her, unable to control whatever look was currently occupying his face. Nik’s eyes widened at the sight of him; his expression, or lack thereof, was intense. His eyelids hung lower than normal and his lower jaw was tense. She quickly figured something was bothering him. 

“What do you want?” he asked, sounding curious, but defeated. Nik didn’t hesitate to stare at him as she tried to figure out what he was feeling.

“Where were you going?” 

“I asked you first,” he remained still, his expression not letting up. 

Nik sighed and shifted her weight to her other foot. She had taken another Mentat before coming down and felt especially confident when she said, “A drink, and to talk to you.”

MacCready looked at her suspiciously. “In that order?”

She laughed once as she continued down the stairs, pushing him slightly to the side with her shoulder as she did. He took a deep breath and followed her to the bar.

MacCready stood a few paces behind her as she ordered. His arms were crossed as he looked at all of her. 

Black jeans, black jacket, black armor, black necklace, black nails, black eyes, but red hair.

I bet if I called her a Black Widow she’d hit me harder than the first time.

MacCready was staring into space when she turned towards him, holding a glass in her hand. His head was tilted slightly and she noticed his jaw moving from side to side, as if he was grinding his teeth. Nik took a breath before gesturing towards her side. MacCready nodded once in recognition and turned on one foot, then loosely marched forward. His actions made her want to smile, but something still felt wrong, so she didn’t.

Nik allowed MacCready to lead her into the VIP room. He took his normal spot in the chair that provided the best view of the hallway without being seen, while she sat at the end of the couch placed next to it. She leaned her elbow into the armrest and tucked her legs to the side, facing him completely. He shifted with unsure energy and scratched his face before taking a long drink. She watched him as he moved, letting her eyes fall on his hand holding the bottle.

Nik cleared her throat.

“I’m sorry about earlier,” She cringed at herself as she thought of how she had cried in front of him. 

“What about it?” He said, feeling particularly cocky now that his inhibitions were dead for the night.

“Well…” she paused, suddenly feeling nervous as she looked down at her drink. Was she already growing a tolerance to the Mentats? “It’s not exactly my thing to fall apart in front of strangers.”

MacCready smiled spitefully to himself. “Oh, so I’m still a stranger?” he said, rolling his head against the back of the chair to look at her. “That’s nice.”

Nik blinked. “No, that’s not what I meant… MacCready, are you drunk?” she asked, suddenly piecing together his current state with the massive pile of bottles on the table beside them.  Her eyes widened at the sight, then she looked back to see him finishing the bottle in his hand. As he set it down, he stared at her and pointed his finger.

“Good observation, Hotshot. They should make you head of the DIA.”

Nik sighed, then quickly finished her drink. The talk would have to wait.

She set the glass on the table before standing, then placed herself in front of MacCready. He rolled his head to look up at her.

“Hey,” he said, waving his hand once. Nik moved her hands from her hips to an outstretched position in front of him.

“C’mon,” she said, curling her fingers twice. He continued to stare, and took a long, slow breath. Nik tilted her head and repeated the curling motion of her fingers. “Let’s go, Mac.”

“Where we goin’?” he said, lazily lifting his hands. She grabbed them immediately, holding tightly as she pulled. MacCready came forward easily and he stumbled into her right side. “Whoops,” he said, standing himself upright. Nik looked at him for a moment, trying to gauge whether or not he was blacked out yet. Judging by the amount of empty bottles (including the broken one on the floor), and how much he was swaying, she figured he was close to it if not there already.

She refused to comment on her realization. She’d be a hypocrite if she judged him, and she couldn’t stand a hypocrite. 

“You got a room?” she asked, placing herself at his side and putting one hand on his back. He shook his head.

“Didn’t know where I was going today, my boss keeps threatening me with a pink slip,” he said, straightening his neck as he smiled to himself. That old scoreboard was looking quite blurry in his mind’s eye, but he knew he was winning. Nik shook her head.

“Didn’t I tell you I would’ve kicked you out of the Den if I didn’t want you with me?”

MacCready stared at her flatly. “I don’t know, did you? A jackass like me needs clear instructions, don’t you know?”

Nik sighed as she moved her hand from his back to his forearm. “Knock it off, MacCready.” 

“You left, how was I supposed to know,” he mumbled.

Nik frowned. That comment made her feel guilty, and she did not handle guilt well. Anything she wanted to say about it would have to wait until he was sober. 

She held onto him tightly as she started towards the hallway, moving slower than normal with the intent of ensuring he didn’t fall over. As they entered the main room, MacCready tripped over his own foot again. She turned herself to catch him, grabbing him by his wrists before he went down. The edge of his watch dug into her hand.

“Whoops, sorry,” he said, looking at the ground as he readjusted himself. “Hey, this is familiar, right Nik? But it’s you pulling me away this time,” he laughed to himself as Nik moved her hands back to his shoulders.

“I need you to work with me, Mac,” she said, struggling to guide him up the stairs. He stumbled twice, and Nik started rehearsing ways to grill him in the morning.

“Where you taking me?” MacCready asked as they reached the Third Rail’s exit. Nik moved in front of him to open the door, then pulled him out of it, letting the door slam shut behind them.

“To your room, MacCready,” she said, guiding him around the corner towards Hotel Rexford. 

“I told you, I don’t have one.”

She shrugged. “Well, guess you’re staying with me.” Nik opened the door to the lobby and led him towards the stairs. 

“Oh, don’t get me excited,” He said sarcastically while dramatically rolling his head backwards. Nik turned to look at him, her face feeling warm.

As she said the words, “Shut the fuck up, MacCready,” he was mouthing them at the same time. Nik’s jaw dropped as she pulled him up the stairs while, admittedly, repressing a laugh.

“Ooo, the boss’s room,” he said as they approached the last room on the right, top floor. Nik pulled a key from her bra as she stared at him. 

“You’re a silly drunk,” she said, unlocking the door and guiding him inside. He ungracefully landed in a chair in the corner of the room, then watched her as she closed and locked the door.

“Actually, I’m a miserable drunk,” he exclaimed, closing his eyes. “You shoulda’ seen me earlier,” he said, pointing a finger at her while shaking his head. She pursed her lips in suspicion as she moved to the side of the bed closest to him, removing her bag from her back and opening it.

“Something happen?” she asked as she pulled multiple cans of water out of her bag and set them on the table in front of him. MacCready still had his eyes closed as he tilted his head towards the ceiling.

“Nothing important,” he answered, his voice having lowered considerably. Nik stared at him for a moment, then looked down at the floor. Something in her chest hurt, and she wasn’t sure if she liked it. She knew she felt guilty, but she struggled to accept why; she had been so insufferably consumed with her own bullshit that she hardly spared MacCready any second thought when it came to what he might be going through. 

Of course you wouldn’t have. You hired him to do a job, remember?

That doesn’t mean I don’t care.

Oh, look at you, trying to make friends so you can get ‘em killed, how noble.

Nik looked towards MacCready with a pained expression on her face. His eyes were closed, and she could tell he was about to fall asleep. 

“Here,” she said, handing him the water. “Drink this, please.”

He rolled his head towards her and stared without blinking for a moment. He looked exhausted, more mentally than physically.

“Fine.” He finally said, taking a few sips before resting his arm on the side of the chair. Nik watched him as his grip loosened on the can. Before he completely passed out, Nik pulled him to his feet and guided him towards the bed.

“C’mon, big guy,” she grunted as she held the majority of his body weight.

“Mm, I like that one…” MacCready muttered as he laid back on the bed. Her face felt warm again as she pulled his top half upwards, just enough to take his jacket off. Before he could roll over, she undid his binoculars from his belt and put them on the table, then removed his hat and put it on the desk beside him. When she was done, he immediately rolled onto his side and tucked his limbs towards his torso. Nik tilted her head at the sight, then laid his jacket over his upper half. He nuzzled his head against the mattress once, giving Nik the idea to fold up some of her towels and place them under his head and neck. He pressed his face into them immediately.

“Night, Mac,” she said quietly, starting to turn around as MacCready muttered back, “G’night, Hotshot.”

Nik smiled to herself as she sat back in the chair, watching him as he slept.

She wasn’t as relieved as she would have once been over the fact that whatever conversation she was planning to have with him was shelved for the night. On top of that mess of thoughts, she was concerned about whatever drove him to drink a frat party’s worth of beer to himself.

Was he as stubborn about opening up as she was? Seemed likely, to her.

For a moment she contemplated purchasing another room, but dismissed the idea when she figured it’d be a waste of money.

That’s not the only reason, don’t lie to yourself.

She shook her head to quiet her thoughts. If MacCready asked about it, she’d tell him she was paranoid he’d choke on his vomit, so she decided to stay. If he took offense to that, then… oh well. She wasn’t going anywhere.

Settling into the chair, she reinforced it with some materials and pulled the table closer to her feet to prop her legs on. She used her extra clothing to cover her arms and neck as she attempted to get any kind of rest she could. The sound of MacCready’s slow breathing brought her to sleep sooner than she expected.

~

MacCready woke in a panic, instinctively knowing he was somewhere he did not put himself on his own last night. He threw his jacket off of his body in an instant, then rolled over to see Nik sitting in a chair with a journal in her lap. She was already awake and looking at him as she picked his jacket up off the floor and balled it up on her lap.

“Morning, Sleeping Beauty,” she said, throwing his jacket back at him. It hit him in the face and he wiggled his nose as it fell onto his legs.

“Uh… Nik, um…” MacCready started, raising his hand to his neck. “What happened last…”

“You got shit-faced drunk,” she said, cutting him off. “I wasn’t about to let you pass out at the bar. You’re welcome, by the way,” she said, nudging a can of water towards him with her boot. “How’s your head?”

“Hurts,” he said, reaching for the can.

“You nauseous at all?”

“No. Not yet at least.”

“Okay… you let me know if you need anything, alright?” she said, bringing her attention back to her journal. Her eyes didn’t leave the pages as she said, “I’ll buy you breakfast when you get hungry.”

The sound of an empty can hitting the table sounded as MacCready sat up straight, wiping his mouth and swinging his legs onto the floor. “You don’t have to do that,” he said, looking back and forth several times before realizing his hat was right next to him. He scrambled to put it on, and Nik stared at him, appearing unimpressed.

“No shit. I want to.”

“Oh… well, thank you, I guess… Um…” Nik continued to stare. “I’m sorry I took your bed, and… I’ll get out of your hair today, okay?”

Nik took a deep breath and rolled her eyes.

“MacCready. For the third time in twenty-four hours, I,” she pointed a finger at herself. “Want you,” she continued, pointing at him now. “To keep working,” Her pointed hand turned into the form of a gun, which she pointed at herself at the end. “For me. Okay?”

MacCready watched her carefully as she did this, then lowered his head to hide his smile.

“Alright then.”

Nik nodded once and rolled her shoulders. “Thank you. When you’ve sobered up, we’ll head to Diamond City for some things. That alright with you?”

He thought for a moment, for the first time coming to the comfortable conclusion that she really did want to keep him hired, which was a slight relief in his current state of growing stress and discomfort. “Yeah. Sorry for whatever I may have said or done last night,” he said, head hung low, voice quiet. Nik couldn’t stand the sight.

“You were fine, Mac,” she replied softly, attempting to reassure him, though still unable to hide all annoyance from her voice. “I almost couldn’t tell you were that drunk until you started tripping all over the place.”

“Sorry,” he said, sounding embarrassed.

“Oh my god, MacCready, say sorry again!” She said, pointing her pen at him intensely. He nodded, then pushed himself against the wall as she continued speaking. “Well, I’m going to go see what they’ve got for a continental breakfast, what do you want?”

MacCready chuckled to himself as he said, “Beggars can’t be choosers.”

Nik rolled her eyes. “Coffee and jerky, got it,” she said, putting her key in her bra as she turned to leave. “Keep drinking that water, lightweight,” she winked at him from the doorway as she closed the door before he could protest.

MacCready threw the back of his head into the wall once, immediately regretting it as he winced. He knew he looked pathetic, and he had no idea what he actually said last night. His pride and complicated feelings towards Nik made him feel so embarrassed at the thought of her dealing with him while he was blackout drunk, let alone, tucking him in.

He frowned at the thought.

He’d have to make up for it later, he decided, as he looked around the room and noticed a pile of shattered glass on the other end of it. Shifting his eyes downward, he saw his binoculars on the table and smirked to himself, knowing he didn’t take them off. His eyes shifted left and right for a moment before he quickly brought himself to his feet and made his way to the bathroom, desperately needing to get himself together before she came back.

~

It was around two o’ clock by the time they set out on the road again. The path between Goodneighbor and Diamond City was becoming very familiar to Nik by this point, and they were able to reach Diamond City within forty minutes. The visit was rather uneventful this time, as Nik wanted to continue moving well before the sun began to set.

Valentine was right, Becky Fallon did have two hazmat suits, which she traded all the unused medicine she had on her person for. She tasked MacCready with carrying them during the rest of the walk to Sanctuary, and when he asked what they were for, all she had to say was, “To protect the wearer from radiation, duh.”

By three o’ clock, the two had made it past the cluster of buildings surrounding the northside of Diamond City without engaging any Raiders, and were now approaching a small lake.

“Keep your eye out for bugs. They’re almost always around any body of water,” MacCready said to Nik, voice low.

“Okay,” she shivered as she replied, not interested in telling him that was one of the few things she knew about the Wasteland already. She had always hated bugs, well before they grew ridiculously in size.

“So, can I ask exactly what happened last night?” MacCready asked, his curiosity reaching a point he couldn’t ignore anymore. 

“What’s the last thing you remember?” Nik asked, sipping the last bit of coffee from a flimsy paper cup before discarding it to the ground. She smacked her lips once, unsure of the weird brew of tobacco leaves and honey.

“Uh… sitting alone in the VIP room.”

“Do you remember running into me on the stairs?”

“No.”

“So you don’t remember talking before we left?”

He winced as he answered. “No?”

Nik shook her head and sighed. “Well… I guess it’s a good thing I caught you. Who knows where you would’ve gone if I hadn’t.”

“I would’ve been fine,” he said, not entirely sure if he believed that.

“Yeah, sure,” she said, knowing damn well she didn’t.

Nik extended her arm in front of him as she stopped, listening for the loudening sound of two bloatflies flying closer to them. She grimaced and squealed as she shot one with her pistol while he picked off the other with his rifle. Nik shivered again.

“Oh, they’re so gross…”

MacCready rubbed his forehead as they continued their quiet conversation. “I started drinking about twenty minutes after you left. I went to look for you, but you were gone, and I wasn’t sure if you were coming back, so I just…” he started, sounding more and more defeated as he went on. Nik felt the need to lighten his mood again.

“Threw a party?” she said, grinning at him as she nudged his shoulder with hers. MacCready shook his head, wanting to laugh, but unable to fully come back from the mental state he was in last night.

“Pity party, maybe,” he said, then scoffed at himself. “It wasn’t a good time.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, Mac,” she said, kicking her feet as she walked. “I came looking for you, you know.”

“Oh…” he said, mentally kicking himself. He wondered what her reason for that would be, but his pride refused to allow him to ask that question. “Was everything okay?”

“Pfft, absolutely not,” she said quickly. “If it wasn’t for Hancock, I’d probably be in Goodneighbor’s jail right now.”

He looked at her, surprised. “What? What happened?”

“Oh, you know,” she said, adjusting her rifle in her hands. “When I ran off like a little bitch, Nick was sitting by the exit. He said something to me, but it wasn’t him talking. Somehow, it was Kellogg’s voice, like a part of him was able to take root in Nick’s brain.” Her eyes were wide as she described this. “His… conscious, I don’t fucking know, could see me through Nick’s eyes. He made a comment about ‘killing me while I was on ice’,”

MacCready frowned. “That’s… scary.”

“To say the least. Anyway, I was ready to kill someone, so I went into the street and put my pistol in a guard’s face,” she covered her mouth with her hand as she started laughing.  “Hancock stopped me. Told the guy to bring me up to his room. And that whole thing was weird, but…”

MacCready looked at her immediately, an unsettling feeling brewing in his stomach. He knew Hancock well enough to know where this was probably going. “Weird? What happened, what did he do?” he asked, sounding more intense than he meant to. Nik looked at him questioningly.

“He told me not to threaten his guys, waved Piper’s fucking article in my face,”

MacCready’s face twitched as he pushed the image of him doing the same thing days ago out of his mind.

“He hit on me, then gave me a bunch of Mentats.” He looked back at her quickly. “You ever have a Mentat before? I really like ‘em, do you want one?” She began to pull at her bag but MacCready continued speaking.

“He hit on you? What did he say?”

Nik released her bag and looked forward. “Fuck, what didn’t he say? Called me baby, practically eye-fucked me for thirty minutes straight. He ever do that to you?”

MacCready looked in the other direction, attempting to hide the anger on his face. He couldn't find her yesterday because Hancock decided to put the moves on her.

“He’s never taken it that far, no.”

“Oh, but he’s tried?” Nik asked, grinning at him teasingly. MacCready shook his head, expression still displeased.

“He’s friendly, maybe more of a smooth-talker than me. Gives me shit all the time, like an older brother or something. But no, I’ve never… fallen for his charms, or whatever, if that’s what you’re asking.” He didn’t realize he had a slight snarl on his face, but Nik didn't notice it anyway.

“Me neither. Not really my type,” she said, smiling to herself as MacCready continued stewing in his mind. Nik sighed as she continued. “I talked with Nick for a bit after that, actually Nick this time, by the way,” she emphasized while pushing her arms to the side. “We went over everything, and…” She paused for a moment. “Our, uh… our next stop is going to be a bit of a challenge, Mac, I won’t lie.”

MacCready slowly closed his eyes and opened them, bracing himself. “What, we packing a picnic for a day at the Glowing Sea?” he said jokingly. Nik’s eyes widened immediately.

“How did you know?” she asked, her expression appearing mortified. He stopped walking and looked at her.

“Tell me you’re joking,” he said, shoulders falling. Nik turned away from him slowly and began shuffling forward. MacCready skipped once to catch up with her. “Nik, come on,” he said, attempting to put himself in her line of sight as she continued to turn away from him.

“Can’t hear you Mac, sorry.” She let her rifle hang from its strap while she covered her ears with her hands.

“Hey,” he said, waving his hand in front of her face. “If this is a joke, it’s not a funny one.”

“I never claimed to be funny,” she said, putting her hands back on her rifle as she sighed. “Sorry. I guess I shouldn’t be making light of it. I just don’t know how else to cope. Well, that’s not true,” she said, pulling one of the small bottles of vodka she carried around from her cigarette satchel. She opened it and took a sip before shoving it under MacCready’s nose. “Want some?”

MacCready flinched away, scrunching his face as he was still recovering from last night. “Oh, geez, Nik,”

She laughed as she took another sip before pocketing it. “Sorry, low blow...” While he was facing away from her, she quickly put a Mentat in her mouth. “I’ll be serious. Yes, it’s the Glowing Sea,”

“You know we’re headed north, right?” he said, pointing forward, looking at her sarcastically. 

“Oh, no shit? ‘Cause before we go south, we’re headed north to Sanctuary. I need to get us properly geared up. There’s no way in Hell I’m letting you get hurt on my watch.”

He smiled. “What’s Sanctuary?”

“Settlement up north, and where I keep the supplies I can’t travel with,” she answered, uninterested in discussing it in further detail while out in the open. “So, on top of the hazmat suit, or, in place of it, I can get you in a set of power armor.”

MacCready gestured towards a bridge nearby, which appeared to be the quickest way across the river in front of them. Nik held her rifle closely as she was unfamiliar with the bridge, having gone a different route when she traveled the opposite direction last week. MacCready, on the other hand, was buzzing with excitement at the idea of using a power armor suit.

“What? Really?” he said. “You’d be in one too, right?”

“Eh, we’ll see. That’s a lot of fusion cores, and I’d hate to have to ditch two suits if we run out.”

“Then you have to wear it, Nik, not me. No exceptions.”

“‘No exceptions’, huh?” She looked at him with a large smile on her face. “Oh, are you paying me now? Are you the boss?”

“I might be, if you keep fighting me on this!” he teased back, looking into her eyes.

“You’ve seen me fight, Mac, you sure you want that?” She turned on her heel and walked backwards.

“Maybe I do,” he said, challenging her. “What would you do then?”

“Well, you’re strong, I know that. So I’d have to be quick. Bank on my reflexes, and your lack thereof."

“Lack thereof?!”

“Big words for MacCready?” she asked, pouting her lip.

“N-no! Reflexes, I have them, and you know it!”

Nik chuckled as she turned back around, head held high. “I know you do. I’d be dead if it weren’t for those reflexes,” she said, finishing with a whistle. MacCready was full-on blushing now, and he looked away from her to hide it. Nik sighed before she continued, her playful tone suddenly falling flat. “We might have to reestablish our dynamic here. I may joke, and I know you call me ‘boss’ a lot, but I’m not your superior, alright?”

MacCready looked at her questioningly, unsure of what exactly she meant by that, or what it meant for them moving forward. 

Was he still going to get paid?

“Who’s there?” a strained voice said, causing Nik and MacCready to crouch behind an abandoned vehicle just before the drawbridge.

“I don’t want to be sitting behind one of these if they start shooting,” MacCready whispered, looking at Nik with a tinge of fear in his eyes. Nik was already digging through her bag.

“Don’t worry, Mac,” she said, removing two grenades from it. “I’m going to toss these, and as soon as they leave my hand, we run back and engage from a distance.” She looked behind herself, eyeing the end of the bridge they had just passed and the concrete pillar placed at the corner of it. “That pillar, you see it?”

“Yeah.”

“You’ll shoot from there, and I’ll watch your back. Understood?”

“Works for me,” he said, turning himself on his bent legs, putting his hand against the car as he prepared to launch himself away from the coming explosions.

“One, two,” she said, hurling one of the grenades towards the boat itself, and the other, on the makeshift dock beside it. “Three!”

Together they retreated, not turning around until they reached the cover of the pillar. MacCready immediately raised his rifle and scanned the area, noting one dead Raider on the boat, and one with its leg blown off on the dock, still alive, and screaming wildly.

“One down, one injured, uh… another in the boat, two on the dock… whoa,” he said, going silent. Nik had her rifle at the ready and her thigh holster undone as she stood against his back, scanning the area around them for activity. 

“What, MacCready?!” 

“There’s one on the dock in power armor.”

Nik rolled her eyes and turned towards MacCready.

“Let me see,” she said, holding her hand towards him and curling her fingers repeatedly. When he went to reach for his binoculars, she shook her head. “No, Mac, your gun.”

He instinctively shook his head. “Uh, no?”

“I don’t have a scope on mine, just give it to me!” she said, her eyes wide as she looked at him.

He was moving slowly as he hesitantly outstretched his rifle to her. “What are you going to do?”

When she took it, she tilted her head once to signal to him to change places with her. Lifting the scope to her face, she answered.

“Fusion core,” she started, finding her target quickly. “If a suit is moving, it has one in it. You manage to shoot it, big boom. Watch out for any runaways,” she finished, beginning to steady her breath. “Damn, MacCready, you need a new lens.”

“No I don’t–”

In quick succession, the sound of his rifle fired, and then an explosion similar in sound to an exploding vehicle. When MacCready looked at her, her mouth was wide with excitement.

“Just one in the boat left,” she said, kissing the grip of his rifle before handing it back to him. He did his best to focus when he took it and looked through the scope to see for himself. “C’mon, Mac!” she said, skipping forward towards the drawbridge. As she approached the tugboat beneath it, she aimed her rifle down into a window, then fired.

He started into a light jog to catch up to her. “All clear?”

“Mhm! I don’t feel like looting, let’s just go.”

“Man, someone needs to learn how to drive,” MacCready said as they moved through the crashed boat beneath the drawbridge to cross onto the other side of it. Nik shook her head to clear strands of hair from her face.

“Always Raiders interrupting, fucking bastards… anyway, after I talked to Nick, I took some notes, then went out to look for you.”

MacCready remained silent as they left the bridge and moved onto a patch of dirt.

“Something’s been bugging me,” she said, looking towards the ground. He looked at her now, an unsure feeling tightening in his stomach in response to the tone of her voice. “About you…” she continued, sighing dramatically. “I don’t… really know how to ask this…”

MacCready was practically shaking with anticipation, imagining all of his greatest tragedies and embarrassments at once as he tried to anticipate whatever it was she was about to ask him.

“MacCready…” her voice held a bit of a whine in it, and her expression looked desperate. He felt the air leave his lungs as she finally said, “How do you spell your name?”

MacCready immediately turned to his side and looked to the sky, doing his best to hide his reaction. When he finally managed to look back at her, she had a shit-eating grin on her face.

“Nik, I swear to god…” he said, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Too bad, he’s not listening.”

He channeled every last speck of self-control he could muster in order to center himself before answering her question. “M-a-c, capital C, r-e-a-d-y. Why do you want to know?”

“Well, when I’m writing about you, I want to be accurate,” she said, still smiling.

“You write about me? Why?”

“Sometimes. I always document things because my memory isn’t the best when I’m stressed. But I’ve written about you twice now and wasn’t sure. Let me make sure I got it. M-a-c, capital c, r-e-a-d-y. Like ‘ready’. I like that,” she said, offering him a genuine smile, doing her best to express her words were a legitimate attempt at a compliment.

“Well, thanks, N-i-k…” he said, turning away again, not fully recovered from her joke. She hid her own face as she blushed, thinking that went better than she expected it would. 

~

“It’s foggy as hell out,” Nik said, frowning. MacCready nodded in agreement.

“I haven’t been up this way in a while. Not a lot of jobs up here.”

“There’s been plenty for me, with the settlements and all that,” she said, lighting the cigarette that hung from her lips. 

“Settlements? Oh, I almost forgot, you have something to do with the Minutemen, don’t you? Gosh, you brought that up, what… how many days ago now? Feels like forever already,” he said, side-eyeing the cigarette now in her hand. 

“Yeah, that day sucked,” Nik chuckled with resentment while pointing to her left, guiding MacCready along the outskirts of Concord, not interested in revisiting any of the houses within the dilapidated town, or their potential inhabitants. “Before the tweakers so rudely interrupted us, I was going to tell you I spent my first few weeks here getting acquainted with Preston Garvey and this group of settlers he was travelling with. I haven’t seen them since I left to find you.”

“Find me?” he asked, sounding more suspicious than he meant to. Nik smiled as she handed him her cigarette. 

“Finish it,” she said, exhaling the smoke. He happily obliged as she continued. “Well, there’s this trader named Carla in the area who stopped by a few times, and she had words to say about Diamond City. She made it sound like it’d be a good spot to look for help. Everyone in Preston’s group is too old or scared or preoccupied to commit to my shit. I don’t blame ‘em. Then I get to Diamond City and it’s a fucking snooze fest.”

MacCready laughed loudly as they scaled a wall of rock together. He jumped to the ground from the other side before turning back towards Nik, setting the cigarette between his lips and extending his hands to her. Without hesitation, she took them, not too proud to avoid unnecessary pain in her knees even a short jump like that would give her.

“Thanks,” she said, tugging at the waist of her pants before continuing. “I heard one of the guards there harping about Goodneighbor one day, how it’s ‘nothin’ but trouble’, and figured that was more my speed. And what do you know, turns out I was right,” she said, looking at MacCready and winking. He smirked as he shook his head.

“You calling me trouble?” he asked, his voice sounding smooth as he held the smoke in his throat. Nik smiled and nodded her head.

“Damn right I am." Nik smiled as she nodded her head, once again allowing herself to simply look at him. Before she could get too lost in her thoughts, something else caught her attention. "Oh, this is where I met Dogmeat!” she said excitedly, pointing towards the Red Rocket gas station ahead of them. “Oh, I miss him,” she said, looking over her shoulder once.

“Why didn’t you bring him?” He exhaled, flicking the cigarette coolly, still basking in her compliment.

“I don’t want him to get hurt. They never made power armor for dogs. Besides, Elie loves him, and I think he likes walking around Diamond City like he owns the place. Plenty of kids to play with, too,” she finished, her smile flattening slowly as she pushed the images of children out of her mind.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, mentally preparing to enter Sanctuary again, which was just over the hill a few yards ahead of them. Being here wasn’t easy, besides the fact it was quickly building up to be a safe place for her and others to reside. In that, she could take pride. Otherwise, it was a borderline nightmare, or a cruel joke, another to add to the ever-growing list.

MacCready felt her energy shift, though he wasn’t sure why. But when he looked at her, he noticed she had the same kind of faraway look in her eyes she would get when she thought about something from her past. There was some sort of pre-war memory here, he concluded, as he moved to the side to nudge her shoulder with his.

“Hey, Nik… it’ll be okay. Okay?”

Nik feigned a small smile and nodded. “Yeah.” 

In that moment she knew he was wise enough to understand something was up without having to pry, and not having to explain something she wasn’t ready to felt like a gift wrapped in a shiny red bow.

“Thanks, Mac,” she said, moving the entirety of her side into his, causing him to nearly fall over before he caught himself.

“Hey, General! It’s good to see you!” called a man's voice from the other end of the bridge they were approaching.

MacCready looked at her with a puzzled expression. Nik shot him an intense look with just her eyes that quickly turned that expression neutral.

“Do not say anything rude, alright?” she said between her teeth as Preston crested the other side of the bridge to join them in the middle.

“Wouldn’t dream of it–”

“How you doing, Preston?” she greeted loudly, smiling and nodding at him in reply. “This is MacCready, he’s been keeping me alive out there. MacCready, Preston,” she said, gesturing towards the man holding a laser musket in his hands. He freed one to present to MacCready, who hesitated for a second before shaking his hand with his own. Nik eyed MacCready suspiciously before returning her attention to Preston.

“Glad to hear that,” Preston said, nodding towards him in appreciation. MacCready smiled awkwardly and Nik struggled to keep the back of her hand from smacking his shoulder.

“How’s the power routing situation going?” Nik asked as the trio descended the bridge towards Sanctuary’s main road.

“Good! Sturges was able to build a handful of medium-sized towers with that shipment from the western line, and connect them to our generators without blowing any. The armory is connected to the kitchen and showers now, so we should be able to supply warm water and operate with light now.”

“What a treat,” she said, imagining how good it would feel to stand under a stream of water at any temperature above freezing. “Any trouble with the caravans?”

“Yes, actually,” Preston said, walking with his head held high in a way only a genuine professional could pull off without looking like an asshole.

MacCready attempted to listen to their conversation, but was distracted by the houses and buildings surrounding him. It looked like an open-concept Diamond City, but much less green, and way more tolerable, people-wise. He came to that conclusion comfortably despite not knowing anyone here; he really couldn’t stand Diamond City folk. 

War-torn houses encased the street from the outside, only three of them appearing to have been worked on since the group settled there, one in particular almost entirely surrounded by tall metal walls. In the center of the neighborhood were two buildings made out of wood and steel, one being one floor, and the other, two. He could see through a window in the single-floor building that it must be the armory, due to the fact there were workbenches inside. He wondered if that’s where the power armor was as Preston and Nik discussed something about a drive-in southeast of there.

“I took some notes for you, you’ll find them on your desk. Oh, and Sturges holed up that problem spot you asked about. Shouldn’t have to worry about any radroaches finding their way in again.”

“Oh, thank goodness,” she said, craning her neck from left to right. “I appreciate it, Preston. If you don’t mind, MacCready over here is exhausted and in need of a shower,” MacCready whipped his head around to stare at her, his face immediately turning red. “So I’m going to show him around before too late.”

“Of course,” Preston said as Nik turned her head and smiled at MacCready. “There’s food in the kitchen, we had a delivery today. See you around, General.”

Nik waved at Preston as she felt MacCready’s eyes through the back of her skull.

“Was that necessary?” he asked, lifting his arms to smell himself. Nik laughed loudly and started towards the common area, waving him along.

“Don’t worry about it. Besides, I like the way you smell,” she said, opening the door and stepping inside, waiting for MacCready to enter. His sheepish expression shifted into one of amazement as he spotted a jukebox in the corner of the room.

“Please tell me this works,” he said, approaching it briskly. Nik smiled as she followed him.

“Wouldn’t have it if it didn’t. Well, I fixed it, with Sturges's help,” she said, leaning against it with her elbow as she switched it on from the back. MacCready’s face became illuminated by pink and red lights as he looked at the names on the tapes lining the inside of the machine. “The sound isn’t the best, but, it’s music. Just about as necessary as food and water, in my opinion.” Nik let him select a track while two settlers waved at her from across the room.

“I haven’t heard this one in forever, it was always my favorite as a kid,” he said excitedly as the arm within the machine grabbed a tape and inserted it into the reader. The two settlers jumped as the jukebox began to play “Mighty Mighty Man” by Roy Brown. MacCready took a step back and admired the machine, then began bopping his head to the beat. Nik smiled, grateful to witness him enjoying himself for once.

“Go ahead and sit wherever, I’ll bring you a plate,” Nik said, gesturing towards the tables behind him. MacCready stopped moving his head.

“Nik, you don’t need to do that,” he started, waving his hands dismissively. Nik’s expression fell as she looked back at him. 

“Come with me and help then, damn,” she said as she entered the kitchen. When MacCready pulled aside the makeshift curtain separating the main room from the kitchen, he saw her pulling a hot plate from a cabinet to a counter before placing a thin sheet of iron on it.

“There’s a little bit of brahmin steak left, you want it?” she asked, dropping the meat onto the iron sheet. It began to sizzle after a moment, and Nik turned back towards the cabinet mounted on the wall. 

“Uh, sure,” he said, looking around. There was a sink, a fridge, a stove, and several meat racks lining the walls. He watched as Nik sprinkled what looked like black powder onto the meat, followed by a grainy, white type of substance. When she was done, she turned to the fridge and pulled a beer out of it, then leaned on her forearms on the counter as she opened it, waiting for the meat to slowly cook through.

“How can I help?” he asked, still looking around the room. Nik took a drink. 

“Keep me company,” she said with a smile. He fought to keep his face neutral as he sat on a stool across from her. “We have two showers,” Nik continued, repressing a belch. MacCready looked at her, then back at the meat. It was beginning to smell differently than he was used to, and his stomach started to growl. “I’m cleaning clothes before bed, so after you shower, give me your stuff.”

He hesitated before saying, “This is all I have.”

“Looks like you’ll be walking around naked then, sorry,” she said, eyeing him as she took a drink. When he didn’t respond, her shoulders slumped. “I have extra you can wear, Mac, geez, what’s wrong with you? You’re not firing back anymore,” she said, standing upright and moving to the meat to flip it. It sizzled loudly as she let it go. “It’s boring.”

“Sorry, I’m just… in a daze I guess,” he replied, looking at the meat again and listening to the jukebox behind him.

“Something wrong?” she asked, looking his way as she leaned on the counter again.

“No, no. God no. Just… happy to be here,” he said, looking down at his folded hands on the counter. She smiled and took a drink.

~

Nik and MacCready sat across from each other in one of two booths in the common room. He was cutting into the steak she had cooked, while she continued to drink beer and chew on jerky, a new favorite of hers since frequenting Polly’s meat stall in Diamond City. She put both elbows on the table as she rotated the dried meat in her hands, watching MacCready as he took a bite.

“I think this is the first time I’ve seen you eat something other than noodles,” Nik said, watching him still. “I’ll need to craft you a pair of chopsticks to use while you’re here.”

He looked from his plate to her, savoring the piece of seasoned meat in his mouth. “This is amazing,” he said, his cheek bulging from the food tucked within it. Nik shook her head.

“That’s just salt and pepper. You wouldn’t believe the kind of food I used to make, when I could afford it, at least,” she said, taking another drink. “Vegetables, spices… oh, I miss it. Tatos are nice, but they’re not onions.”

MacCready struggled to focus on her words. He had had salt and pepper before, but something about the way she had cooked it into this particular cut of meat had him feeling overwhelmed with satisfaction. “Thank you,” he said suddenly, cutting off another piece. “Thank you for this.”

Nik nodded knowingly. “Of course.”

After a moment she returned to the kitchen without a word. MacCready watched her as she walked, then took the last bite of his food. He could hear the sound of water trickling as he entered the kitchen. Nik was in the sink, cleaning a handful of plates and silverware. She was hunched over the sink awkwardly, her slightly taller frame not accommodating for the task.

“Do you want help?” MacCready asked, approaching her with his own plate. 

“You can put those things away,” she said, taking the dishes from his hands as she gestured an elbow towards the counter with the hot plate and spices on it. The two completed their tasks in silence before turning towards each other.

“It’s only around seven, I think,” she said after glancing out of the window. “You tired, or do you want to take a walk?” She dried her hands with a rag before tossing it into a bucket of more used rags. MacCready nodded as he answered.

“A walk sounds nice.”

The cool air outside was welcomed by them both after being in the stuffy building for over an hour. Nik rolled her sleeves back over her forearms as MacCready held the door for her.

“How you doing?” Nik asked, still thinking about finding him blacked out at the Third Rail.

“Good,” he said quickly, stuffing his hands in his pants pockets and keeping pace beside her. “This is a really nice thing you’ve got going on here, Nik,” he said, looking over the settlement in its entirety once more. Nik nodded in appreciation and took a drink, though not oblivious to the fact he was consistently turning the conversation back around in her direction. She wondered how she could break his walls down, or if he would ever be open to that in the first place.

You’re not entitled to shit.

Nik frowned, but pushed herself to continue speaking.

It’s a two-way street.

“I got lucky meeting Preston when I did. Him and Sturges have been great. We were like... three minds coming together, all of us bringing something valuable to the table, all of us wanting to build something to help keep people safe.” She looked at MacCready, who still had his hands in his pockets. During her pause he looked at her, his eyebrow lifting. She took a deep breath and said, “The last thing I’d want after getting Shaun back would be to not be able to provide him a safe place to live.” Her eyes fell to her boots as they took short steps. He continued to look at her, unable to see her face through her hair.

“Well, you’re doing a great job by the looks of it,” he said, a strong sense of understanding and admiration falling over him. She was a leader, a builder, a caretaker. He would’ve never guessed that about her a few days ago. So much so, he continued to ask questions, something he rarely did when the topic wasn’t work-related. “So, what does being General entail?”

“Heh, about that…” she laughed and scratched the back of her head. “Preston made it sound like a formality more than anything. He takes a lot of pride in the Minutemen and the structure it used to have. He wanted the Minutemen to carry the legacy of one General leading the group, but didn’t feel comfortable taking the position himself. I think I proved myself to him, or… maybe he just felt obligated, after I managed to save his group stranded in Concord from a group of Raiders and a Deathclaw, with just a suit of power armor and a minigun. That was my third day, by the way.”

MacCready’s eyes widened and his jaw fell, wondering if he had heard her right.

"You did what? Why didn't you ever tell me about that?"

Nik scoffed before she replied. "Would you have believed me? Little Miss Vault Dweller? I was still wearing the damn suit, too, for god's sake. Anyway, he just, gave me the title after that. Insisted, really. Trusted me right out of the gate. Believe me, it threw me for a loop, too,” she said, shaking her head. MacCready thought to himself for at least the fifth time since meeting her that she had a serious knack for reading his mind. “But I figure it’s a good thing. Once I have Shaun, I’ll be able to focus solely on just… helping people. That’s all I’ve ever wanted to do, and that’s the main job of the General, as far as I understand.”

MacCready thought of Lucy as she spoke, and fell silent as a result.

The two reached the part of the street before the last bend heading south, and Nik slowed her pace before coming to a complete stop. Her hands were in her pockets now, and MacCready stopped beside her, feeling her energy shifting again.

“I want to show you something, if that’s okay,” she said, a strained look on her face. MacCready watched as her eyes changed direction repeatedly. “This next part’s going to be selfish for me, but… I want you to know, I think.”

He nodded cautiously, unsure of what she meant, but finding himself trusting her nonetheless. She moved to the house nearest the creek to the north and he followed behind her. They climbed a wooden ladder mounted on the side of the house and sat on a piece of the roof reinforced by concrete beneath it.

“See that gate up there?” Nik asked, pointing above the hills ahead of them as they took a seat on a sheet of metal a few feet apart from each other.

“Yeah, I think so.”

“That’s the vault.” She nodded her head upwards once, her eyes falling on the sky dotted with bright white stars. MacCready looked at her silhouette intensely, which was only slightly illuminated by the moonlight.

“Really?” He felt uneasy; he had spent his life so removed from the Great War itself that being in the presence of someone who survived it, so close to where so many spent their last moments, carried an unfamiliar yet heavy weight for him. She nodded in reply.

A moment of silence lingered between them. MacCready imagined panicked families running from the houses surrounding him, holding children, or their spouse’s hand. 

Nik imagined nothing as she made the deliberate decision to finally let MacCready in, by way of her own words, on her own time, for once. 

“I lived here,” she said, finally. Saying the words out loud left her feeling lightheaded, and she put a hand on her chest. He looked towards her again, his face still with attention. “My house is the one with the metal walls around it.”

MacCready didn’t know what to say. He did not want to offend her by saying something stupid or ignorant, which he was rather good at, whether he chose it or not. To his relief, she continued to talk.

“That morning, I had planned on taking Shaun to the park, the one near the Common. It’s buried by rubble, now, but the pond and gazebo are still there, as you know.”

MacCready looked down, wondering if she knew about the rumors of a Behemoth living there. It was hard to imagine it was once a place a mother would take her son to play.

“Nate was stressing about a stupid veteran’s speech he was supposed to give to state officials at the fraternal post. We passed it on our way up here,” she said, crossing her legs and leaning back on her hands. “I didn’t want him to do it. I never wanted him to become a soldier in the fucking first place…”

MacCready stared forward, suddenly feeling the wooden figurine in his pocket pressing against his thigh.

“Then, out of nowhere, the sirens went off. Some of our neighbors thought it was another drill, but Nate had the news on, like he always did, and…” She shook her head as she continued to look at the stars. “I grabbed Shaun, and… just ran. I ran.”

The television from the Memory Den appeared in his mind’s eye. In it, he saw Nate, refusing to let go of Shaun. Before he could stop himself, he was asking the question.

“How… how did Nate end up with him, then?”

Nik looked down and sighed. “Because I put the vault suit on last.”

MacCready’s eyes fell from her face, to the empty space between them, to the sheet of metal he was sitting on. 

That was all it took. A random, mundane task determined her fate. Something as simple as a zipper.

Just as easily, she could’ve been the one Kellogg had shot. The realization took his breath away.

“I’m sorry,” MacCready said, wanting to grab her hand, but unable to move. Nik smiled to herself as she shook her head, eyes still lost in the void ahead of her.

“I was too, for weeks. Kept telling myself I should’ve died instead of him. But that’s not what happened, so… I can’t keep dwelling on it.” She paused, and blinked. “I haven’t been in the vault since I left here last week. I had Preston help me bury the bodies. That was an awful fucking day. I drank myself sick that night.” She finished with a laugh, which caught him off guard. He noticed her head was now hanging low, and before he knew it, he was talking.

“I grew up next to a vault.”

Nik looked at him now. “Really?”

“Yeah,” he said, adjusting his legs to an outstretched position. “Those are some seriously bad memories I wish I could forget…” he muttered, then sighed. Nik continued to look at him, and he noticed her expression had changed from one of discomfort, to curiosity. So, he continued to talk. “I, uh… I was something like a general, once,” he said, scratching his face nervously. “This is going to sound crazy, but… I grew up in a cave, with a bunch of other kids. In a settlement called Little Lamplight. I was, uh… I was the mayor for a while.”

“What?” Nik said, a smile forming on her face. “You? How’d you end up being a mayor of a bunch of kids?” She turned to face him now, crossing her legs and moving her hands to her ankles. Her eyes were alert with interest, and her jaw had relaxed. MacCready couldn’t help but to smile as he continued talking.

“Well… that was the thing about Little Lamplight. All kids, no adults. I was eleven when the last mayor turned sixteen. No one else wanted the responsibility of actually leading, so. I stepped in. Can you believe that? Me, a mayor.” 

“Wow. And you were eleven? You were just a baby…” she said, her eyes softening at what he assumed was whatever mental image she was conjuring of him as a child.

“Well, I wouldn’t say that,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. “By that point I was pretty skilled with a gun.” He glanced down at his rifle he had set beside him. “I had… quite the body count by the time I left there.”

Nik’s eyes widened as she repeated, “Body count?”

MacCready’s expression followed suit as he started shaking his head frantically. “No, no, not like that!” He said, waving his hands and trying not to laugh. Nik simply smiled, understanding what he meant in the first place, but unable to pass up the play on words.

“I know, Mac, I’m sorry,” she said, dragging her hand down her face. “I seriously need to stop fucking with you like that,” she said, chuckling once before continuing her questioning. “Was it difficult? Having to kill at that age?”

His smile fell as he shook his head, shrugging nonchalantly. “Came real easy to me. It was what had to be done, you know? Kill or be killed. I was in the settlement’s defensive lineup by the time I was ten. That was… just life. I don’t know.” He finished, looking at her face. The genuine interest in her eyes made him want to smile.

“You said it was a settlement for kids. Did you have to leave at sixteen, too?”

MacCready nodded slowly, attempting to keep his recollections practical. “Yep. I wandered around for a while looking for work, but things were pretty hot with the Brotherhood of Steel running the show.”

The gears in Nik’s mind began to turn as she tried to remember what it was he had told her about the Brotherhood of Steel the day that ridiculous blimp showed up in the sky. MacCready must have noticed, because he nodded and said, “Yeah, that Brotherhood of Steel. By the time I hitched a ride up north, the Capital was practically crawling with them.”

“Makes me wonder what they’re really doing here, then.” Nik said, her full attention still on him and the words he spoke. 

“Me too.” 

The inevitable silence between them returned, leaving Nik feeling anxious, while MacCready continued the mental fight he had started with himself back at the Memory Den. He couldn’t tell Nik– he didn’t know how –that when she hugged him, something in him shifted. The wall he had built years ago, and only continued refortifying over and over again since, for the first time since its inception, felt like it could fall. It scared the shit out of him, but like any broken soul, he couldn’t deny how badly he wished he could rely on another person again.

He sighed, considering the culmination of everything that had happened today, and how she had trusted him enough to tell him about what happened that day two-hundred years ago without him prying like a jackass, or being bothered by a relentless, tone-deaf journalist. 

He looked at her wrists, both of which had black hair ties wrapped around them. His eyes shifted upwards and noticed her necklace dangling from her neck, casting a shadow on the skin of her chest, which would rise and fall every two seconds. When he tried to look at her face, he was met with the top of her head, as she was looking down again. His stomach twisted as the words fell out like vomit.

“We’re more alike than you think, Nik. And it freaks me out sometimes.”

Her head came upwards as she looked at him, sending her necklace swinging. Her chest moved faster, now, as she waited for him to explain. She watched as he took a deep breath and turned the entirety of his body towards her. His voice was low when he finally spoke.

“I lost my wife a few years ago, and I have a son back home who’s dying.”

Nik’s eyes widened. “What?” Her voice was barely a whisper. MacCready nodded after a moment, then looked down into his lap.

“I met my wife, Lucy, in the Capital. She was a nurse,” he said, repeatedly lacing his fingers together. “A good woman, better than I ever deserved.” He shook his head to himself. “I’d be gone for months at a time, looking for work. Sometimes she would come with me. After our son Duncan was born, she wanted to come more often. Be a family, you know…” he said, shoulders seeming to fall weaker with every word he spoke. Nik continued to listen. “During our last trip back to the Capital, a bad radstorm rolled through. I normally avoided any underground structures that expanded further than I could make sure were clear within an hour, but Lucy was scared Duncan would get radiation sickness if we didn’t move underground.” He paused. Nik could feel her stomach twisting as she listened, expecting the worst, but somehow still not expecting what he ended up saying. “The place was crawling with ferals. They ripped her apart right in front of me,” he said quietly, turning his head to the side, his lips flattening into a thin line. He shook his head slowly and scoffed, again, at himself. “They were on her before I could fire a single shot. Took everything I had to escape with Duncan in my arms.” His head dropped now, his hands no longer fidgeting. “Sometimes I wonder if it would’ve been better if we died down there with her.”

MacCready couldn’t see her, but Nik extended both hands to his, curling her fingers until she encased them both. He held them back as the pain in his chest returned.

“No,” Nik said, shaking her head. “You saved your son, Mac. That counts for something. Everything.” Her eyes searched his body as his form remained still. Nik felt the pressure on her hands increase as he began to speak again.

“You’d think, right?” he scoffed as he removed his hands from hers, then curled them into fists. She returned her hands to her lap, watching his knuckles turn white as he spoke. “He’s barely four years old. He’s got some sort of disease that none of the hundreds of people I’ve asked have ever heard of. My main reason for coming up this way since Lucy died was to try and find a cure, or, some miracle medicine, I don’t know…” he looked down, his face twitching as he struggled to keep himself centered. “Last I saw him, he could barely walk. That was almost a year ago now.” He finished, his voice low and trembling. 

“There has to be something we can do,” Nik said, her voice strained with the need to do something, anything, to help.

A minute passed before MacCready spoke again.

“About a month before we met, I bumped into a guy named Sinclair. We got to talking, and he started telling me about how his partner was sick with some mystery disease. I thought he was wasting my time before he mentioned blue boils, which… that’s what’s covering Duncan’s body right now. He can’t even lay down without being in pain.” He whipped his head away from Nik and grit his teeth, clearly fighting tears now. Nik felt her chest ache and moved before she could stop herself. 

MacCready heard the sound of a glass bottle rolling against metal before he was suddenly being grabbed by Nik. She was on her knees as her left hand gripped his back, while her right moved to the space between his shoulder and neck. MacCready’s chest began to heave as he breathed, moving his arms to her sides as he held her back. Before he could fight it, a steady stream of tears fell down his face; the kind of cry one didn’t have to move their face at all in order to get the tears to fall.

“I’m so sorry,” Nik said, and by her voice, MacCready could tell she was crying, too. He closed his eyes as he pushed his face into her arm.

“I don’t want him to die,” he said, and then he sobbed, bringing Nik to a sitting position as she held him tighter.

“There has to be something we can do,” Nik said again, moving her right hand from his shoulder to the back of his head, wishing she could somehow snap her fingers and fix everything for him in an instant.

Several minutes passed before MacCready stopped crying, and Nik hadn’t moved until he subtly signalled he was ready for her to let go. As she did, she sat beside him again, crossing her legs and looking away. If he was anything like her, and it was becoming more and more clear to her that he was, then he was not the biggest fan of pity. 

She waited for him to speak when he was ready, and when he did, his voice was low, and defeated.

“Sinclair mentioned a place called Med-Tek Research. It’s a ways east of here. Gave me codes to get through security and everything.” He took a deep breath then looked forward, shaking his head maniacally. Nik winced as she looked away, knowing exactly what that expression meant. “But because this world is so comically cruel, the facility is absolutely overrun with ferals.”

When Nik looked back at him, he was completely still, staring forward with an empty look in his eyes and a spiteful grin on his face. “I tried, Nik. I tried! For him. I tried,” he hung his head as he took a shaky breath, then looked up again. “But I couldn’t do it. And god forbid anyone in this godforsaken world try to help a man with no caps to give, if only to give a child a fighting chance to live.” Nik looked down, her heart breaking over and over again. She saw him shake his head again in the corner of her eye. “Oh, and on top of all that, the Gunners have me pinned because they want me dead.”

“MacCready…” Nik started, completely taken aback by everything she had just learned. She didn’t know what she expected when her curiosity peaked last night, but it certainly wasn’t… this.

That answer your question?

She looked down, dismissing a feeling of shame brewing in her gut.

She wanted to say sorry again, she wanted to hold him again, she wanted to save his son. But she couldn’t say or do anything.

He had been wandering, alone, for years… not weeks, like her. He was taking whatever jobs he could so he could afford his search for the medicine Duncan needed. In the midst of it all, he was carrying what she knew had to be the unbearable weight of guilt from losing his wife the way he did. She couldn’t fathom what the days after that would’ve looked like for him. She imagined him carrying his son through the Wastes, alone, with no help, knowing the body of his wife which he was forced to leave behind had turned into food for monsters. He had seen her ‘torn apart’ right in front of him. How do you get that image out of your mind? 

She felt sick.

She looked at him, and his face had softened considerably as he said, “Two sides of the same coin, huh?”

His face was tired, but she saw a faint light in his eye, and she knew that look like the back of her hand; he was a survivor, a fighter. He wasn’t wired to give up, and Nik could see it. 

Her center suddenly swelled with admiration for him. She forced herself to steady her breath, and she blinked as she recalled what he had just said.

“What?” she asked. Instead of snapping like she probably would have in a situation like this, he just… smiled. Nik could’ve fallen apart at the seams if he smiled a moment longer. How was this man capable of going through all he had and still able to smile?

“You and me. Two sides of the same coin. Widowed, lost son. Well… you know what I mean…” he finished, looking down, feeling embarrassed at his choice of words. To his surprise, Nik’s face lit up.

“Who would’ve thought, huh?” she said, pulling her satchel to her front. She dug through the bag, then pulled something silver out of it. “Here,” she said, grabbing MacCready’s hand and setting the round object into his palm. He lifted it up in an attempt to see it better. “It’s a collectors item I got with my Grognak subscription.” 

He smiled wildly as he saw the worn outline of the barbarian on one side, then flipped it over and saw the character’s axe.

“So you are a fan. I thought I saw you reading in Diamond City,” she said, smiling triumphantly.

“Are you kidding? I’m one comic away from a full set,” he said, moving his hand to give it back to her. She shook her head and smiled.

“I want you to have it. Nate always thought comics were a waste of time, but… when I was laid up in the house sick and pregnant, hating life and wanting nothing more than to burn with the rest of the world…  it was a nice escape. I’m Grognak, you’re the axe. I point and you shoot, right?” she said, hiding her mouth with her hand.

MacCready smiled gratefully and closed his fingers around the coin.

She sighed, unable to stop herself from saying what came out of her mouth next. “You’ve helped me a lot, Mac. More than I expected anyone could. And I just wanted you to know how important that is to me. I’m thankful, and… in your debt, really. I wouldn’t even be here if you didn’t blow Kellogg’s hand off.” She stopped, recalling the memory, blushing to herself at the thought of his accuracy with a gun. “So… before we go to the Glowing Sea, I want to go to Med-Tek with you.”

MacCready’s eyes widened. “Nik…”

She held a hand up before he could continue. “Unless you’re about to say ‘when do we head out’, I don’t want to hear it. Duncan’s condition is time-sensitive. We could get it done in a day. I’m assuming you have contacts?”

“Well, yeah, Daisy’s southern line, but…”

“Then that’s it. Three or four days tops, including travel.”

“But, Nik… what about Shaun?”

She stopped at the sound of his name, surprised at herself for not reacting angrily. Instead, she felt the comfort that comes with the sense of unspoken, mutual understanding between two people who were more alike than either expected to be.

“I’m still going to find him. If I worried about how long it's taken me to get this far already, I’d eat myself alive. Your son deserves a chance, too.” She looked at him sincerely, a gentle, reassuring smile on her face, and MacCready couldn’t believe it. This woman, this powerhouse of a woman, the one he couldn’t figure out a week ago, who now felt so familiar to him, was setting her own needs aside to offer her help with his.

“No one’s ever done something like that for me before…” he said quietly, still in disbelief.

“Don’t worry about it, MacCready,” she said, moving her hand to his. “I’d be honored to be able to help. Please, let me help. It’s the least I could do.”

MacCready tightened his fingers around hers as he nodded. “You care. That’s more than enough.”

Nik smiled and nodded. “Damn right I do. First thing in the morning we’ll start planning, okay?” She continued to hold his hand as she stood, pulling him up with her. Nik stumbled slightly and he held her forearm as she did. “Thanks, and, uh… thanks for following me up here.” She was blushing as he looked at her, her features brightening against the moonlight peeking through a break in the tree branches surrounding them. MacCready felt an ache creeping into his stomach, and he let her hands go.

“Come on,” he said, reaching down for his rifle and gesturing towards the ladder. “You need rest, too.”

She nodded as she turned, doing her best to ignore the part of her that wanted to keep him close.

She couldn’t be that selfish. 

Besides, she had work to do.

Chapter Text

Grey thermal, black sweatpants, tall socks.

MacCready shivered as he looked over the clothing items Nik had left for him to change into. He briefly questioned where they came from as he frantically dried himself off with her towels.

His shivers began to subside as he pulled the thermal over his torso. It was slightly baggy on his tall, thin frame and the sleeves needed to be pulled up so he could use his hands, but it was warm and ridiculously comfortable. The pants were even better; he couldn’t remember the last time he wore pants that weren’t weighed down by equipment or layers of blood and dirt. 

Sitting on the bench beside the shower, he pulled the socks over his feet, followed by his boots. As he collected his dirty clothes, the silence surrounding him allowed his mind to open to thoughts concerning the day's events and what Nik had agreed to do for him. Tomorrow, they'd be headed to Med-Tek, to search for a cure for his son. 

Nik, just… offered. Insisted, actually. She didn’t ask for payment. She didn’t ask for anything. She even looked happy about the idea of being able to help. That, he really couldn’t believe, but he wasn’t about to jinx it. 

You'll find a way to ruin it.

He pushed the thought away with a forced blink. As he opened his eyes, he imagined what his crying face looked like from her perspective and it made him want to crawl into a hole.

He threw his old socks into a nearby trash can and shook his head at himself; if expressing his deepest heartaches was the key to finally finding someone to help him save his son's life, then… he’d do it all over again. Pride be damned.

Sure you would.

Exiting the showers, he recalled Nik’s directions: “Just come to my house after, round the back side, you can help me wash these clothes for tomorrow.”

As he followed the wall of metal surrounding her house towards the back tree line, he heard intermittent splashes of water and a woman’s voice humming softly. When he entered the backyard, the scene was lit by a small barrel fire; a large water basin, within it a wash board, both items rusted to Hell but made to work regardless. Behind the basin was a clothesline set up between two wooden posts which already had pants and shirts hanging from it. In the center of it all was Nik. She was sitting on a small stool, leaning into the basin, wringing water out of a dark piece of clothing. Her hair was wet and tied back. She wore a long, pink dress with nothing other than her leather jacket and boots. The sound she was making was melancholy, but when she noticed him approaching from the side, she smiled.

“Feel better?” she asked, turning to the opposite side to whip the wet shirt against the air. MacCready continued to approach slowly, unsure of what to do with the clothes in his hands.

“Yeah. Um…” he started, looking around as Nik stood from the stool to pin the shirt to the clothesline. His eyes fell on the pink fabric encasing her body and he couldn’t help but to chuckle. Nik looked at him with a pin in her mouth.

“Shut up. It’s my laundry dress. If you want your shit clean, sit,” she said, gesturing towards the stool with her head. He nodded and took a seat, then pulled his green long-sleeve from the dirty bundle he set on the ground.

“Here,” she said, picking up a box of Abraxodyne detergent and making a point to add only a little more. “This stuff’s like acid, you don’t need a lot.” She stood back up, pulling a cigarette out of the dress’s pocket and lighting it. He noticed her knuckles were cracked and dried with blood. “And I don’t have any gloves, sorry.”

“This stuff going to melt my skin off?”

“No, I save that concoction for the cauldron,” she said, making small paces back and forth, careful not to block the light from the barrel fire. MacCready smiled to himself as he scrubbed his shirt against the washboard. 

Hidden by the night and her position at his side, Nik’s eyes moved frantically as she thought to herself. She wasn’t sure where exactly Med-Tek was in relation to the post-war landmarks around it. She hadn’t travelled too far east since waking up, and she wasn’t sure if he had either, aside from his first attempt to enter the facility. Most importantly, she wondered what they would be up against aside from ferals. She began to pace faster as the unknowns taunted her mind. 

“Done,” MacCready said, breaking her out of her thoughts as he held his shirt above the water, sending heavy droplets splashing back into the basin. He moved to stand before Nik put her hand on his shoulder and pushed him back down onto the stool. 

“Wring it out, Mac.”

His head moved from left to right twice before he balled up the shirt in both hands and squeezed.

“Oh dear god,” Nik said, putting herself beside him and grabbing the shirt from his hands. “Pay attention because I’m only doing this once.” The smoke from the cigarette between her lips lingered between them as she rolled the shirt into a long, flat line, squeezing water out of it bit by bit from one end to the other. When she was done, she stood and moved to the clothesline, then gestured her head towards his clothes on the ground. “Your pockets better be empty.”

While she was turned, MacCready quickly began pulling items out of the pockets of his duster; spare ammo shells, a box of half-eaten gumdrops, a handful of bobby pins he meant to give to her, and three caps. He then moved to an inner pocket under the lapel and unzipped it, quickly grabbing the Grognak coin she had given him and stuffing it in his pants pocket. As she turned back towards him he was pushing his jacket into the water, which quickly sent swirls of brown through the soap. He grimaced as he moved the fabric against the washboard.

Nik moved to sit on the ground, pulling the bottom of the dress over her legs as she crossed them. MacCready continued to scrub as she looked at him.

“Closest I ever got to washing this was getting stuck in the rain waiting for a target to move,” he muttered, continuing to frown at the idea of just how used to wandering around in filth he was. Nik nodded and flicked her cigarette behind her.

“I spent an entire day washing everyone’s clothes. My hands were fucked by the end of it, so I’m never doing that again."

She looked at MacCready, his face shadowed by the dim orange light of the fire. He felt her staring as he glanced towards her, a slight smile tugging at his mouth.

“What?” he asked, pulling the large jacket from the water and beginning to squeeze one end of it awkwardly. Nik shook her head before looking down into her lap, picking at her fingertips and their cuticles while intermittently hitting her cigarette. MacCready stood to accommodate the length of the jacket as he continued to wring it out. She watched him as he lifted his arms, sending the bottom of the shirt upwards, revealing the skin of his waist. She immediately looked away as he turned towards the clothesline.

When he returned to the stool to wash his pants, he looked at her, once again greeted by the top of her head. He had become quite familiar with this position of hers after their heart-to-heart on the roof. 

Much to his surprise, he didn't recall that conversation with a feeling of embarrassment and shame while he was near her. Instead, he felt a sense of mutual understanding, speaking the words he couldn’t, and he somehow trusted Nik could hear them loud and clear.

Idiot.

Suddenly, a part of him wondered if she offered to help because it was the ‘right thing to do’, or if she agreed simply to make the daunting task of finding her own son seem more tangible. He decided to hold and express gratitude for the sake of his son, and to hopefully encourage her to not second guess her decision.

“Thanks again, Nik,” he started, moving the tougher fabric of his pants up and down the washboard. “Feels nice to be excited to wake up for once.”

Nik stopped moving for a moment, considering the weight of his words. There were a million things she wanted to say, but all she managed was, “It’s no problem.” She offered him a small smile before returning to her fidgeting fingers.

“You okay?” he finally asked, beginning to succumb to his bad habits; there was no way she was doing this for nothing. After all, he still expected more payment after the Glowing Sea. He started to feel the skin of his hands tinge pink as he waited for her to answer. Nik nodded before she lifted her head, then moved backwards to lean on one hand. MacCready’s breath hitched in his chest as the fabric of her dress hugged her form, sending his attention back to his task and breaking him out of his distrustful thoughts in an instant. She did not notice as she hit her cigarette again.

“Just thinking about tomorrow… I’ll feel better once I’m able to look at a map.” She took a deep breath, then let her head roll to the side and rest on her shoulder. MacCready’s eyes fell as his movements in the water slowed. The rollercoaster of emotions and suspicions he was experiencing came to a halt as guilt moved through him like it was the baseline of his existence.

“I don’t want to drag you into something you don’t want to do,” he said, voice sounding small while he felt even smaller.

Nik remained silent as she waited for him to look at her, confident her expression would tell him everything she would’ve said anyway. When he finally did, his reaction confirmed her idea. 

“Right,” he said, pulling his pants from the water and wringing them, being much more efficient about it this time. Nik watched him again as he moved to hang them up.

“As soon as I wake up I’ll be in my room figuring shit out," she said, throwing her cigarette into the fire behind her. She looked up towards his back, watching his arms move and enjoying the fact his sleeves were rolled up. "There's nothing you can do to stop me, either, so..." she said, eyes falling to his waist again.

“I’ll get up with you,” he said quickly, turning towards her with a stern look on his face. Nik blinked up at his face as he outstretched his hand to her. She took it, coming to her feet easily. 

“Alright.”

Her chest swelled with anticipation as she grabbed a small bucket from the ground, filled it with water from the basin, then promptly poured it over the fire. The flames flashed blue before extinguishing, making MacCready flinch backwards.

“Did I just wash my clothes with gasoline?” he asked, looking over his dry, cracked hands. Nik shook her head and laughed.

“I told you. One of these days I’ll figure out some gloves.”

She began walking towards the front of her house, and MacCready knelt to the ground to quickly gather the items he pulled from his pockets. He jogged forward to catch up with her as she turned towards the front door. She opened it without a word, waiting for him to follow. When he didn’t, she turned around and looked at him questioningly.

“Do you need permission or something? I didn’t take you for the vampiric type.” 

His shoulders fell as he looked at her, unable to stop the grin forming on his face. 

“It’s either this couch or a bed surrounded by strangers,” she finished, gesturing towards the couch with her hand, which she had already equipped with a pillow and blanket. She looked at him expectantly as he slowly moved into the main room, closing the door behind him. Nik moved further into the kitchen to grab two cans of water from a cabinet while MacCready took slow steps behind the couch. The shelves lining the wall beside the doorframe caught his attention. On them were several random trinkets, tools, a broken picture frame with a sun-bleached photo in it, and a triangle-shaped glass case containing a wad of folded red and white fabric. Nik moved to a chair across from the couch and set the cans of water on the table in front of her. She cleared her throat in an attempt to draw his attention off of the shelves. He jumped slightly at the sound before immediately turning and rounding the end of the couch. He took a seat, sitting upright as he sunk into the red cushion slightly. He unloaded the items from his hands onto the table, which made a mismatched assortment of noises as they hit the surface. He scrambled to grab an ammo shell rolling towards the edge before returning his hands to his lap quickly. Nik stared at him intensely.

“If you don’t ease the fuck up I’ll kick you out,” she said, leaning over her legs as she pulled her backpack towards herself. MacCready watched her as he reached for a can, taking a drink before settling into the back of the couch, letting his legs fall into their usual resting position; outstretched and wide open.

Nik pulled a folded piece of large paper from a side pocket in her bag, unfolding it on the table between them. It was a map, the same one she had been using when plotting her route to Kellogg. The western end of the paper map had a few markings on it, while the center had a few more. As for the northeastern region, there were very little.

She then moved back to the main part of the bag, stopping herself and looking at him before pulling the next object out.

“Mind what you say, alright?” she said, cocking an eyebrow as she removed her Pip-Boy from her bag. A bundle of dirty rags and an empty metal tin came with it, falling to the ground beside her. MacCready watched as she set it on the table. She powered it on, her face becoming illuminated by a green light while a film of static clung to the screen. He continued to watch in silence as she flicked the knob at the top right corner of the device twice. She then moved her hand to a dial, rotating it as it began making clicking noises. 

Seemingly out of nowhere, she grimaced before sitting up, quickly pulling her jacket off and tossing it on the back of the chair.

MacCready didn’t look away as his core suddenly ran hot. He hadn’t seen so much of her skin before, which was glistening with sweat. He shifted against the couch slightly before closing his legs and grabbing the blanket to put on his lap. She suddenly moved to stand, causing MacCready to look up at her as his chest heaved. He prayed he didn’t look as panicked as he felt as she sat beside him, holding the Pip-Boy in her hands.

“Here,” she said, handing the device to him as she leaned her side into the back of the couch. Her right elbow was on the top of it while she used her other arm to point at the screen. “I hate using this fucking thing, but if it helps us get to Med-Tek, then… Can you just, mark the location, please? Sorry,” she said, using her propped arm to hold her head up. MacCready fumbled with the controls, sending the screen downwards as the clicking sound ticked rapidly. Nik laughed as she leaned over his shoulder, readjusting its orientation to the northeast corner of the map again.

“Sorry,” he said, his bottom half practically screaming at him now as Nik’s arm and chest touched his shoulder while she fixed it.

“This one moves it this way,” she said, making pointed gestures with her finger. “And this one the other way. I just need a general idea. You still remember where it is, right?”

He cleared his throat as he sat himself up straight, moving his thighs from side to side once before successfully zooming in on the correct area of the map.

“Yeah,” he answered, voice quiet as he stopped moving the screen. “It’s right around here,” he said, quickly handing it back to her before shifting his legs again. Nik stood back up and returned to the chair, cross-examining the map on the screen with the map on the table. 

“It’s closer than I thought it was, looks like it’s also nearby one of the last settlements Preston recruited. That’s lucky,” she said, glancing up at MacCready with a smile on her face. He hesitated before smiling back, his thoughts scattered and impulses betraying his need to be in control.

“How is that lucky?” he asked, attempting to distract himself by saying the first thing that came to mind. 

“Um... why wouldn’t it be?” She asked, shaking her head as she stared at him. She leaned her forearms onto her thighs, anticipating an actual answer. He nervously glanced towards her chest before turning away completely. She lowered her head with a sigh, and he cleared his throat.

An empty moment lingered between them, slowly filling with the rattle of a nearby generator, the low hum of the ceiling fan above them, the soft lighting of a single lamp on a side table next to them, and the crushing desire to touch one another. It wasn’t until Nik left the couch that she realized she preferred it there, next to him. He was warm in a comfortable way and she found his scent intoxicating. She imagined how nice it would feel to lean against his shoulder and stay there for a while. MacCready, on the other hand, barely heard her directions on how to navigate the map on the Pip-Boy because he was too busy thinking about moving his hands underneath her dress.

“I guess–”

“Whatever I can–”

They stopped at the same time, moving awkwardly in their own ways, before Nik gestured towards him to finish his sentence.

“I forgot what I was going to say,” he lied, shaking his head dismissively. Nik reluctantly nodded before standing up, gathering her jacket, bag, map, water, and Pip-Boy. She slowly walked towards MacCready and he watched her carefully as he gripped the blanket with both hands. 

“We should get some sleep,” she said, her midsection covered by the tower of items in her arms. MacCready looked forward and nodded before looking back up at her, nervously smiling. She sighed again as she continued past him. “Bathroom is right here,” she said, gesturing towards the first room on the right side of the hall. “And if you need anything, don’t hesitate. Good night, Mac.”

She waved her right hand once as started towards her room. MacCready stared forward as he listened to her footsteps, waiting for the sound of her bedroom door closing. As soon as it did he threw his head into the back of the couch, wincing as his body betrayed his mind over and over again.

“Fuck.”

Chapter Text

Nik was riding another post-explosion high as she skipped up the steps to Med-Tek’s front door. MacCready stepped over chunks of eviscerated ghoul bodies littering the area while eyeing a vehicle that was still smoldering. Nik swore that one had blown already but that did little to appease his paranoia.

She rubbed her palm down her thigh nervously as she waited for MacCready to join her at the front door. When he did, she looked at him intently, waiting for his signal. He nodded, and Nik pulled the latch on the door. The two quickly scanned the lobby with their rifles drawn. Nik took a step forward, her path minimally lit by rays of sunlight peering through different holes in the walls. On the wall furthest from her was a line of emergency lights, which she noted after concluding the area was cleared of enemies.

“Alright,” MacCready said, holding his rifle to his torso as he began stepping through mounds of leaves and papers on the floor. “Let’s find that executive terminal. Sinclair said that’s the only way we can override the facility’s lockdown.”

Nik looked at a terminal on the receptionist’s desk in the center of the room, deciding to check it for any possible relevant information. MacCready watched her as she stepped towards it.

“It’s not that one, I checked it last time.”

“You think I don’t know the executive terminal wouldn’t be right next to the front fucking door?”

MacCready turned away from her, shaking his head with his hands raised. Nik accessed the terminal, which read [***SECURITY ALERT***] and nothing else. She selected the single prompt and read the message that followed. The message seemed mundane as a whole given she was already aware of the lockdown, but the last sentence gave her pause; ‘Use of deadly force authorized’. She thought to herself as MacCready turned back around to look at her.

“Are we moving, or, what?” 

Nik glared at him as she stood up straight. “When you were here last, were there any robots patrolling the area, or, maybe, wall-mounted turrets?”

MacCready shook his head. “I don’t know. I barely made it ten minutes before I got pushed back.”

“Just… be careful when entering any new rooms. I’ve got a feeling something was going on here and the government was prepared to kill anyone attempting to uncover it.”

MacCready thought to himself before flicking his head upwards with a cocky smile. “Let’s revisit that later,” he said quickly, unable to resist the idea of Nik sharing more pre-war stories with him. “This way.”

Nik picked the lock of a door leading to what looked to be a locker room for employees after following MacCready’s lead. He pulled ammo from ammo containers on a set of shelves while she continued observing the room's contents with a puzzled look on her face. 

“They gave them guns, too? Take your badge, clock in, don’t forget your pistol. Jesus Christ," she said, approaching an elevator within the room while MacCready continued stuffing his pockets with bullets. She hit the call button on the wall despite knowing it wouldn’t move, made clear by the lack of light on the button itself. As she anticipated, nothing happened. She jerked her head to the side before leaving the room. MacCready followed in silence.

At the end of the next hallway, a room opened up in front of them. To the left was another hallway while directly ahead was a sub-room paneled by large panes of glass. On the other side of the glass stood three sets of decontamination arches leading to another door. Nik peeked at the door leading into that room, finding it was without a latch, lever, or mechanism of any kind. She clicked on the terminal beside the door as her face flattened. Nik read the same security message from before while MacCready stood behind her, keeping an eye on the hallway to the left.

“There’s an option to unlock these doors, but it’s blocked by the lockdown,” she said, stepping away from the terminal. “Guess we come back.”

MacCready nodded as he started towards the hallway he had been staring into. His hands tensed as the guttural groan of a feral ghoul sounded from the other end. As Nik moved to raise her rifle, he fired, cutting off the sound and sending the creature back to the floor. When he lowered his rifle, he sighed heavily. 

“There’s a set of stairs through here. This is where I turned around last time.”

Nik looked at the side of his face and noticed his eyes appeared glossy. She took a deliberate breath, slow and deep, before reaching into a smaller bag tied around her waist. She pulled out multiple grenades and presented one to him. 

“Just in case.”

Nik advanced towards the stairs quietly, making a point to move slowly and check corners thoroughly. As they stepped onto the second floor, they neared the edge of another large, dark room, and slowed their steps in unison. In the center of the room were multiple tall desks, obscuring the view of whatever may be lurking behind them. She looked upwards and scanned the third floor, which was made accessible by a piece of fallen floorboard to her left. There were offices on the third floor, the walls of which were largely glass-paneled. Through the glass she could see shadows moving slowly and aimlessly. Above her head she heard disjointed footsteps. Between the desks directly ahead of her lay several limbs strewn about the floor and it was unclear if they were attached to a ghoul’s body or not.

“What do we do, Boss?” MacCready asked, his chin practically on top of her shoulder as he stood behind her, observing the same things she had. Nik moved backwards, pressing herself and MacCready against the wall as she began to think to herself.

“There’s not a lot of room to run. These corridors are terrible. I say we throw these, run back, pick them off as they come. It’s our best bet.” Her voice remained a whisper as she continued. “Throw yours in the middle of the desks. I’m aiming for those offices.”

“Alright.”

“On three. One, two–”

MacCready awkwardly lopped his grenade into the center of the desks as Nik reached over his arm and whipped hers onto the floor above them. The clatter of her grenade hitting the railing lining the third floor echoed throughout the room, sending a large bunch of ghouls from the upper offices out onto the landing, running into one another as they moved mindlessly along the catwalk. Nik and MacCready ran back, the explosions sounding one after the other. MacCready tucked himself against the wall next to the stairs while Nik slowly backed up towards him, rifle at the ready.

“Nik, come here,” he demanded through gritted teeth.

“No.” Her voice was barely audible as her rifle fired rapidly. The outline of her body lit up against the gunfire, the intensity of the firearm challenged by an onslaught of several ghouls charging at her in mismatched directions. MacCready groaned as he launched himself forward, lifting his rifle to help Nik as she continued firing. The shred and tattered bodies of what looked to be at least ten ghouls lined the hall and the two swapped places, allowing Nik the opportunity to change her magazine. MacCready’s scornful words hung in his throat as he waited for any movement to appear in the hallway. When it didn’t, Nik walked in front of him as she led the charge again. 

The tension in MacCready’s jaw was starting to give him a headache.

Moving slowly, Nik approached the fallen piece of flooring leading to the catwalk above. A ghoul emerged from around the corner in an instant, and she killed it just as fast. MacCready practically ran into her as he scrambled up the flooring to join her.

“Quiet,” Nik hushed, extending an arm towards him. Her hand fell on his chest before she put it back on her gun and slowly moved forward. MacCready lifted his hat to wipe the sweat from his forehead before returning it to his head with a heavy tug.

Peering into the dark office, Nik could tell from where she was that the terminal she was looking at was busted apart and non-functional as a result. She huffed to herself as she continued towards another hallway. MacCready noticed as well, sending a horrid feeling of dread down his spine; if he made it this far only to be stopped by a damn computer…

Nik continued down the catwalk, finding another office with both its metal-paneled window and door shut. She put her ear to the door and listened. Her eyes moved to the right, searching for MacCready’s. When he looked back at her, she raised two fingers before she lifted her gun and moved to open the door by means of a small mechanical lever resembling the trigger of a gun. The doors slid open, and the two ghouls standing inside the room turned to face them immediately. Nik began firing, tearing a large hole into the chest of the ghoul closest to her while the other stood behind a desk with an intact terminal on it. She held her fire as it stumbled behind the desk. MacCready began to panic, not understanding why she stopped shooting. She was also blocking the doorway, not allowing him the room to aim and fire. The ghoul finally rounded the side of the desk and Nik fired three times, twice into its chest and once into its head, sending it to the ground. She then moved into the room, only noticing MacCready’s pale face when she finally placed herself behind the terminal.

“Are you alright?” she asked, looking at him suspiciously while she accessed the terminal. The dark space surrounding her lit up green as MacCready slowly walked forward.

“Why did you wait so long?”

“I didn’t want to hit the terminal. Good thing, too, because this is the one you’re looking for.” 

Color immediately returned to his face as he quickly approached Nik’s side, looking at the screen to see for himself. Nik looked at him as the two bent their top halves over the desk. She could see his heartbeat in his throat and a thin sheen of sweat lining the back of his neck. 

“Sinclair’s password better work, or we’re screwed,” he said, his eyes scanning the screen while he handed Nik a sheet of paper with a mess of letters, numbers, and symbols written on it. Nik entered the characters, bringing the terminal to a loading screen. She could tell MacCready was holding his breath while a sequence of green dots repeatedly moved across the screen. Nik smiled as a new screen appeared, her eyes immediately falling onto an option titled ‘Containment Override’. MacCready hung his head in relief as he breathed out the words, “Thank god that worked.”

He moved to stand while she waited for the terminal to return to its home screen. An input titled ‘Turret Controls’ caught her attention and she selected it. She promptly chose the ‘Deactivate’ option, shaking her head as she did so. Before she left the terminal, she quickly scanned over another page titled 'Study Results'. MacCready tapped his foot impatiently before speaking.

“Let’s find our way to the sub-level. Sinclair said that’s where Med-Tek would be storing the cure.”

“The airlocked hallway, with the decontamination arches,” Nik said, standing upright and exiting the office. “Let’s go.”

After moving through the airlocked doors, Nik spotted another terminal sitting on a desk directly to her left. On all sides of the room were more doors, all of which were closed and locked, unable to be opened by hand. Nik concluded that would be the norm from this point forward, given the nature of the facility and the doors they've encountered so far. MacCready aimed his rifle towards the open room while Nik inspected the other end for a way forward. Both could hear ghouls from multiple directions.

“There’s no way through, and all the doors are electronically locked,” Nik said, moving back towards the terminal she saw before.

“Can they at least be opened one by one?” MacCready asked, shifting his weight to the other foot while craning his neck. Nik spared him a glance before reading the screen of the terminal. A moment passed before she finally shook her head.

“It’s all or none.”

“Perfect,” he said sarcastically, turning on his foot anxiously.

While Nik waited for the terminal to respond to her commands, she noticed two inactive turrets mounted on the ceiling.

“Mac,” she whispered while waving him over, wanting him closer to her before she opened the doors. He walked towards her as she asked, “You ready?”

He nodded sternly in reply, twisting his hands around his rifle as he braced himself. Nik stood and readied her rifle before she clicked the ‘Enter’ button on the terminal’s keyboard. In an instant, the doors surrounding them opened while an alarm began to sound, accompanied by flashing orange lights on the ceiling. Nik quickly squeezed MacCready’s left shoulder before she moved forward a step, aiming towards the door on the left. Two ghouls started towards her as she fired into them. MacCready stayed back, keeping an eye on the other doors in front of and beside them. One ghoul charged out of the room ahead, causing MacCready to walk backwards as he fired, his shot landing in its shoulder. Its side recoiled backwards against the bullet, causing it to lose pace and giving MacCready enough time to reload. He shot again, this time blowing its head into pieces. 

Nik approached him after clearing the room she was in. His expression was intense as he started towards the room on the right. 

“Clear,” he said, rejoining Nik in the main room as they moved. Through the last room ahead of them was a gaping hole in the wall, revealing a destroyed bathroom and another closed door. They approached it slowly, Nik listening for movement before opening it. When none was heard, the door was sent open, revealing a staircase to the right and another panel of fallen flooring laying diagonally. Nik mentally stored the image of the makeshift ramp as an optional escape route as they slowly moved up the stairs. As they reached the top, they both noticed a large nuclear reactor placed in the middle of the room. Nik’s shoulders fell as MacCready grimaced in disgusted anger.

“No wonder this place is riddled with these monsters,” he muttered, eyes intense with unspoken emotion. Nik nodded.

“They’ve got their own hive to feed off of. We can’t be down here long.”

“No shit,” he said, quietly moving forward. Nik told herself not to be offended as she followed him.

As they continued forward, they noticed four empty holding cells, two on either wall. Past a wall of cabinets and beside an empty office was an elevator, which was accessible now that the lockdown was lifted. She stood inside of it, waiting for MacCready to join. He slowly moved in as Nik hit the down button.

The carriage rattled against the rusted cables as it descended. Nik looked at the back of MacCready’s shoulders as he stood in anticipation just beside the doors. A flurry of words sat behind her lips as she continued to stare. She wanted to ask if he was okay, or maybe offer him a reassuring touch on the arm. Instead, she remained still, recalling how she felt the day she killed Kellogg; if he tried to touch her during all of that, she probably would’ve ripped his scalp off.

The elevator doors opened, sending an assaulting smell of decay into their faces. MacCready frowned and pinched his nose.

“That smells horrible. I don’t think anyone’s been down here in ages.”

Nik nodded as she lifted her forearm over her face. “That way,” she said, pointing her lifted finger. They moved through a quiet corridor before approaching another single door. 

“This place is like a maze. Are we even going down anymore?” MacCready snapped, clearly annoyed. Nik shifted as she held her rifle tightly.

“Only one way to find out.”

The next room brought Nik a feeling of horror she hadn’t felt since hearing Kellogg’s voice over the speakers back at Fort Hagen. Lining the walls of the room were eight holding cells, all but one containing a feral ghoul. The remaining seven existed in varying positions of distress, squirming and writhing in the confines of a 4x4 metallic cell. One lifted its head to scream as the skin around its jaws broke away in a tangled, bloody mess. In the cell directly to her left was another, sitting on the floor and chewing its own arm. 

They moved together as Nik continued inspecting the inside of the cells. She looked into the empty one, expecting to see a dead ghoul lying on the ground. Instead, she saw what appeared to be a hole in the floor. Before she could report this discovery to MacCready, the ghoul in the neighboring cell suddenly thrashed against the glass, causing her to jump. MacCready instinctively grabbed her hand, the expression in his eyes making him look like he could burn the world to the ground.

“They’re locked in,” Nik said, eyes falling to the counters surrounding them. On them were handcuffs, guns, and straight jackets. “I’ve got a feeling these weren’t volunteers.”

For over two-hundred years, what once were human test subjects were left to succumb to a fate worse than death; left alone to go mad in a box buried deep within the earth. The scene looked like what she imagined purgatory to be– a vision worse than Hell itself.

MacCready let her hand go. “Doesn’t matter. These doors like the others?”

Nik curled her fingers inward before she returned her hands to her rifle. She quickly scanned the doors, not seeing the trigger-shaped lever on any of them.

“Yes.”

“Then let’s go,” he said, marching forward with purpose. Nik watched as he pounded against the glass of one of the cells, sending the ghoul behind it raging against the door from the inside. Nik could hear the bones in its frenzied hands snapping as she walked past. At the end of the room was a single hallway, leading to a descending set of stairs. As they reached the end of the stairs, the path to the next room was completely blocked by a massive pile of rubble. 

“Fuck,” Nik said, pulling the beanie off of her head, revealing hair matted with sweat. She stuffed it into a random pocket in her bag as MacCready’s shoulders slumped.

“There’s got to be another way down,” he said, voice stern.

“There isn’t. We’ve checked every corner on the way down here.”

“Don’t fucking tell me there isn’t a way, Nik.” MacCready’s nostrils flared as he pointed at her. Nik took a deep breath and closed her eyes, trying to remember anything she could about their route thus far. As her eyes opened, her face looked defeated.

“I saw a hole in the floor of one of the holding cells.”

“So?”

“So, maybe we could get down a level through it.”

MacCready laughed sarcastically as realization overcame him. “So we have to let the science projects out?”

Nik’s face twitched as she answered. “You got a better idea? Unless you want to go up and down this building a million times and end up nowhere, we can just rip some ghouls apart and go down the rabbit hole.”

“You think I want to run around in circles or something?” he snapped, looking at her with a disgusted look on his face. Nik mentally flinched backwards as her cheek twitched once.

“Obviously not, Mac, I was just saying–”

“Well don’t, alright? I don’t need your smartass mouth right now,” he said, furrowing his brow as he turned back towards the room with the cells.

Nik grit her teeth so hard the muscles in her throat bulged. She didn’t like the way he was talking to her, and it felt like karma for how she treated him in Fort Hagen. 

All that’s missing is a slap to the face.

She held her jaw still as she followed MacCready in silence, quickly stomping out the feeling of shame threatening to enter her mind.

As they made their way back into the room with the holding cells, Nik returned to the one without a ghoul in it. Just like she remembered, the floor of the cell was broken through, and clearly led to the next floor below. From where she was standing she couldn’t tell how deep of a drop it was, but it didn’t matter.

“It’s this one,” she said, turning towards MacCready. He flicked his eyes to the side to look at her. 

“Open it.”

She stared back at him intensely, ignoring a sickening feeling moving down her chest. MacCready’s voice didn’t sound like his when he said that and it made her want to throw up.

Instead of returning to the terminal, she moved to the northernmost cells in the room, where two ferals stood. She could hear the sound of  jaws gnashing as she placed two mines directly outside of the doors. A hot, uncomfortable wave of nausea began to move through her stomach, and she wondered if the steady ticking of the Geiger counter on her Pip-Boy in her bag had anything to do with it.

After setting the mines, she walked to the other end of the room towards the terminal, passing MacCready as she went. His eyes remained fixated forward while he gripped his rifle like he feared he would drop it at any moment. Nik let out a steady breath as she highlighted the ‘Open Doors’ prompt on the screen.

“The only option is all the doors, like last time.”

“You're always right.”

His tone wasn’t complimentary. Nik frowned in anger as she simply replied,  “Mind the mines. Are you ready?”

“Yep.”

“I’ll take the left.”

MacCready didn’t respond as he turned his body to face the right. Like before, she prepared herself before finally clicking the ‘Enter’ key. Like before, all the doors opened in unison while an alarm system was activated. Nik quickly shuffled towards the three doors on the left side, raising her rifle as she waited for the ghouls to move into the open. MacCready fired twice as he moved backwards, sending one bullet through a ghoul’s brain while the second landed in another’s neck. The normal shriek of a ghoul’s scream was muffled as a steady stream of blood sprayed out of the side of its neck, obstructing its airways. MacCready let out a mocking groan as he fired again, sending it to the ground. As he turned to the left side of the room, the two mines Nik had set finally detonated, sending one ghoul upwards in pieces while the other was thrown back into the cell, a sickening crack sounding from its body. When it began to stand, its top half curled to the side, revealing broken bones protruding from the skin. As if it felt nothing at all, it ran full speed towards Nik, who had backed herself into a corner after clearing the three ghouls she tasked herself with.

MacCready pulled the lever on his rifle and shot from the hip. His shot landed in its leg, demobilizing it long enough for Nik to finally turn around and empty the remaining three bullets of her magazine into it. It collapsed onto its broken legs before completely falling onto the floor. Without a word, Nik moved past MacCready toward the cell with the hole in the floor.

“There wasn’t one in there,” MacCready said, suddenly realizing they’d potentially be going feet-first into a ghoul pit.

“I know that,” she replied, not caring whether or not he’d snap at her again. “Why do you think I gave you this side?” She smiled spitefully at him as she threw her backpack down the hole. Judging by the sound it made when it hit the floor, she figured it was about an eight-foot drop. MacCready wiped the sweat from his forehead as she moved to sit on the floor before dropping her feet inside. She moved quickly and yelled as she landed, the impact unforgiving on her legs. She braced herself against the floor for a moment before standing, looking down the hallway and seeing nothing. When she held her panting breath, she heard nothing.

“Clear,” she said, her voice strained with pain. MacCready watched from above.

“You okay?”

“Fan-fucking-tastic,” she muttered, rubbing her right shin with the opposite foot. “Want to stand on my shoulders?” A moment of silence passed as he considered her question before exclaiming in disbelief.

“What?!”

“Do you want to stand on my fucking shoulders, MacCready? Use the floor you’re on for leverage so you don’t bust your shit like I just did?” she asked, looking upwards to see the silhouette of MacCready’s hat and shoulders.

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Bullshit, now get moving before you piss me off.”

MacCready shook his head as he whispered to himself, “So that wasn’t you pissed off?”

“Huh?!” She called out, throwing her fists down her sides.

“Nothing, I’m coming down,” he said, tossing his rifle to Nik before lowering himself onto the floor. She set it on the ground against her bag as one of his legs came through the hole. Nik chose not to look at the underside of his boot as she grabbed his ankle and guided his foot to her shoulder. He began to squirm, struggling with his displaced weight as both legs were now dangling while his top half remained on the floor. Nik grabbed his other ankle and began to crouch slowly, giving him room to begin lowering himself.

“C’mon, Mac,” she said, gritting her teeth. 

“Whoa,” he called out, hands gripping the side of the hole in the floor as his torso swayed forward.

“Why are your legs so fucking long?” she asked, struggling to maintain her grip as his body moved into a U shape. MacCready huffed as he steadied himself, then dismounted off of her shoulders, effectively turning an eight-foot jump into a five-foot one. 

Nik rubbed her shoulders with a grimace on her face, craning her neck from side to side. MacCready scrambled for his gun on the ground and looked at Nik, hoping she couldn’t see the embarrassment on his face in the dark hallway.

“Thanks,” he muttered.

Nik nodded in silence and grabbed her backpack, throwing it over her shoulder as she moved to join him. Before she could take a step, her vision blurred slightly at the edges as another wave of heat moved through her body. She put an arm over her stomach as her vision cleared, then moved forward.

MacCready was frozen in place when she reached his side, removing her backpack and placing it on the ground. In front of them was a large sub-room spanning from one end of the wall to the other, its doors and windows sealed shut with a terminal placed between them. Judging by the size and layout of the room, both Nik and MacCready knew something of value would be within it.

Arm still over her stomach, Nik approached the doors and put her ear to it. She fought the urge to slouch against the cool surface as she attempted to listen for movement. MacCready waited expectantly, but when she didn’t speak, he moved towards her.

“Anything in there?” he asked. Nik hummed with her throat and moved to stand upright, but stumbled. MacCready immediately moved his hands to her arms to catch her.

“Nik, what’s wrong?” he asked, only now realizing she was sweating profusely and had a grey undertone to her face.

“I’m fine. Stomachache,” she replied, licking her lips as she steadied herself on her feet. “I can’t tell how many are in there. Room’s too big. I’ve got three grenades left, but… if the cure’s in there, I don’t want to risk destroying it.” She winced as she held her side. MacCready looked around frantically.

“If we have to run, we have to go back where we came from. But… that’s a dead end,” he said, repressing the memory of running through the cold, wet tunnel of the metro station.

“Then you better not miss, Hotshot,” she said, smiling at him weakly as she replaced the magazine in her rifle for a full one. A small light returned to his eyes as she looked at him. She grit her teeth as she leaned over slightly to pull her pistol from her thigh holster to hand to him. “Next time we raid a five-story ghoul hotel, we’ll suit you up with an automatic.”

MacCready took the pistol from her, stuffing it in the band of his pants before checking over his own rifle. He looked at her again, her face wet with sweat. For a fleeting moment he considered ordering her to fall back, but he was ultimately too selfish to do so. He also knew she would refuse, conveniently enough for him.

Nik moved to the terminal and took a deep breath. “You ready?”

“Let’s get this over with,” MacCready replied, rifle already raised. The doors slid open as two ghouls whipped their heads around, quickly falling into a run. Nik jumped backwards as MacCready began to fire, hitting a ghoul square in the chest while Nik fired into the other. 

Hidden behind the large island counter in the middle of the room rose a green, glowing ghoul. It shrieked loudly, sending a cloud of radiation outwards, hitting Nik and MacCready like a nuclear blast. Having been closer to it, Nik fell to the ground while MacCready merely stumbled, but caught himself. Genuine fear fell over his face as the green mass lumbered around the counter while the two ghouls he thought they killed began to rise from the ground again.

“Nik!” he yelled, his voice strained with panic. She was already halfway turned in an attempt to lift herself off the ground when the ghoul closest to her grabbed her ankle. MacCready shot it in the head, splitting it clear in half this time while Nik propped herself on her elbows and fired into the other. All the while, the glowing one leered from behind the counter, gearing up to charge at them.

MacCready was at her side as he grabbed her, pulling her to her feet rapidly. Her boots slipped against the floor as he guided them backwards, holding the majority of her weight. They were in the hallway again as he continued holding her while she fired towards the green ghoul. She easily sank half of a magazine into it, and it did not slow down.

“What the fuck is that thing?!” she screamed, panic lining the words. MacCready continued to pull as he yelled back, “All your grenades, now!”

Nik didn’t hesitate to pull what remained from her small bag on her side. Three grenades; two in one hand, one in the other. She pulled the pins and let them cook in her hand while MacCready continued to run.

“Nik, what are you doing?!”

She finished counting to three in her mind before she threw them, praying to a god she didn’t believe in that the green monstrosity would round the corner at the right time. 

An unnatural green light grew in intensity against the wall she was staring at. MacCready ran to her side with his rifle in hand, his jacket and shirt pulled back to expose the pistol for quick access. A deafening explosion sounded against the narrow walls as the green light lowered towards the ground. Nik’s rifle shook in her unsteady hands as she pointed it down the hallway. With the speed of an insect with six legs, the green ghoul came crawling through the doorway, dragging itself forward by its arms as it attempted to stand. It thrashed itself forward as it failed and fell again, having lost its right leg in the explosion. Nik fired, the recoil she normally handled easily sending her aim upwards. MacCready threw his rifle to the ground and grabbed the pistol she had given him, unloading it towards the monster rapidly approaching them.

The pistol clicked as MacCready pulled the trigger, signaling the end of the clip while Nik moved to reload her rifle. He was cornered by the narrow walls as the ghoul charged at him. He instinctively jumped, sending the ghoul straight to Nik instead. She managed to bash it in the head with the butt of her rifle from above, but it didn’t stop the creature from biting her calf. She screamed in pain as she bashed again while MacCready fumbled for his rifle, pointing it at its head, and firing. MacCready’s breathing escalated as he reloaded again. Nik attempted to stomp on its head but failed, struggling to gain leverage against the grip it had on her. It bit her again in the same spot, sending her to the floor as her leg gave out.

“Get the fuck off of me!” she screamed, pulling a knife from her left thigh holster and slashing at its arms, which were groping and scratching at her body.

MacCready fired again before rotating his rifle in his hands, not willing to waste time on another bullet. He lifted the butt of the rifle upwards and lowered it into its head with force, creating a massive dent in its mutated skull. Nik cut several fingers off of the ghouls hands as it reached for her face, sending gooey green liquid onto her chin and neck. MacCready bashed his rifle against its head again, this time from an angle, sending it into the wall beside them. He swung three more times, teeth clenched in primal fury as Nik attempted to flatten herself against the ground in order to get out of the way of his attacks. After two more swings the wicked green light illuminating from its body began to diminish as the creature’s irradiated blood stopped flowing. Nik panted heavily as she scrambled backwards, kicking the ghoul off of herself as she grabbed her leg and squeezed it, gritting her teeth intensely before growling in pain.

MacCready dropped his rifle as he threw himself to her side, putting one hand on her arm and the other on her leg.

“Oh my god, Nik,” he said, his voice shaking. Tears formed in the corners of his eyes as she rocked back and forth.

“We need to make sure the room is clear,” she breathed. MacCready shook his head as she continued. “MacCready, go, and bring me my bag.”

He grabbed his rifle and walked back into the room while Nik glared at the green ghoul’s mouth. In an instant she vomited, curling her top half to the side while her body continued to writhe in pain. She struggled to breathe as MacCready ran back to her, already opening the bag as he kneeled in front of her.

“What do you need?” he asked, frantically digging through the bag.

“Is the room clear?” she breathed, looking up at MacCready with weak, hooded eyes. 

“Yes,” he stammered out. “What do you need?!”

“First-aid kit. Stimpak. Rad-X, too, and I want you to take one.”

MacCready handed her the needle and she jabbed it into her calf, losing her breath as she did. 

“I’m so sorry, Nik, I… It wouldn’t go down, I put everything I had into it–”

“Stop, MacCready,” she said through labored breaths, opening the kit and pouring antiseptic straight onto the wound. She gasped sharply before saying, “Not your fault.”

He looked at her desperately, chest heaving with panic as he tried not to cry. She tied a piece of fabric around her leg to counter the pressure pulsing from the wound, waiting for MacCready to grab the Rad-X. He finally handed her one before swallowing one himself.

“Help me up,” she said, feeling a burst of adrenaline from the stimpak. “We need to be quick, before I,” she paused with a hand on her chest, taking a deep breath. “Before I pass out. I’ll take whatever I need to take to stay awake until we’re safe in Greentop.”

He didn’t dare protest as he grabbed her sides, letting her use his body for leverage as she finally stood. He looked at her desperately, unable to process the intense feeling of guilt threatening to explode in his core. Nik read his eyes immediately and smiled weakly before saying, “For Duncan.”

MacCready moved his hand into hers, squeezing tightly as he held her to his side with his other arm. He did not know what to say, but everything in him wanted to move mountains for her at that moment.

They entered the large room again, stocked full of medicines and other medical supplies. Nik ignored the terminal on a desk, having already read about an experimental medication preemptively called “Prevent” while accessing the executive terminal upstairs. “Prevent” was classified as a drug manufactured to prevent addiction in chem users, but inadvertently also showing positive results in the treatment of an unknown disease known to produce blue boils in children and adolescents. 

It was their best bet, and it better be in this room.

MacCready began grabbing every piece of medicine he could while he searched, knowing he would take them back to Sanctuary for her. He stacked jars of Buffout in his arms until he heard her say his name.

“Mac…”

He turned to look at her. She stood on the other side of the large counter, holding a red vial in her hand. MacCready’s eyes widened as he lowered what he was carrying onto the counter, stumbling into the corner of the fixture as he approached her quickly.

“Is… is that it?” he said, knowing it was, but unable to believe it. Nik simply nodded, a genuine smile occupying her tired face. Watching her confirm it made the realization feel as if it were sinking into his bones. “Nik…”

“Let’s get out of here, so we can get this to your boy. Okay?” she said, limping forward slightly, intent on giving the vial to him to carry in his own bag. Before he took it he wrapped his arms around her, gratefully holding the majority of her body weight with his arms. He lowered his face into the crook of her neck. Her hands weakly curled around his shoulders as his arms held her lower back and shoulder blades. Nik sank into him for a fleeting moment, allowing his warm frame and natural scent to calm her down and give her strength to continue.

“Thank you,” he said, moving his head to speak against her neck. Nik closed her eyes, and held him back until she was able to release a heavy breath.

“I’ll fall asleep if you keep this up,” she said, her tone tired, but playful. MacCready snapped himself upwards, not moving his hands from her sides as he looked around the room frantically.

“Let’s get you out of here,” he said, tone as grounded and sure as the hands he held her with.

“I don’t know how I’m going to get back up that hole,” she said, exhaling a shaky laugh. MacCready frowned before glancing to his right. Obscured behind an overturned stretcher was an elevator. On the wall beside it was a single call button, and it pointed upwards. Nik noticed after following his eyes.

“That’s almost too convenient,” she said, lifting her brow. MacCready chuckled cockily as he slowly guided her towards it. 

“I’ve got you. C’mon.”

Chapter Text

“Alright everyone, listen up. If you attended our nine p.m. classes this week, then you’re already well aware of what’s going on. For those who were occupied with other matters, pay attention.”

A tall, sturdy, grey-haired man turned towards a chalkboard and began scribbling on it furiously. Bursts of white dust fell from the board as he wrote the word ‘CANADA’ across the top, finishing with a hard tap. He then gestured his hand towards Nik, who nodded once before taking a firm step towards the people in front of her.

“We’ve received a report from our informant,” she said, raising her arm to show the crowd a folder in her hand. “As you know, it was once our custom to share as many details as possible, with everyone. But…” She stopped, feeling her eyes well slightly before she shook the feeling away. “Due to recent events, I’m afraid you’ll all just have to take our word for it.” She held the folder in both hands as she lowered her arms across her stomach. “Please know it’s nothing personal. It is mine and Simon’s main goal to ensure you’re all informed, but… we now have proof there’s a target on our backs, which means we’re now pushing your safety ahead of all else. I trust you all understand the severity of this.”

A low murmur moved through the small room as Nik looked over the crowd; a number less than the one-hundred and seventy they reached last year, but still somewhere around fifty.

“As for the contents of the report… In short, it's been confirmed that American soldiers are now executing Canadian citizens. Not soldiers, citizens. Women, and their children.” Nik stopped speaking as her eyes fell downwards. In the front row of the group was a brunette woman rubbing her stomach slowly. Their eyes met for a fleeting moment, and the woman offered her a small, reassuring smile. Nik’s eyes flicked upwards sharply. 

“This isn’t just some political game of chess where the winner walks away with the most resources. America's ultra-nationalism and indiscriminate murder against a people once considered our greatest allies for over a century is just another terrifying reminder of how far these monsters are willing to go. The greed will not stop, until there is nothing and no one left. The actions of the U.S. government and its military are war crimes to the highest degree, and the continued demonization of the innocent is inexcusable.”

Nik’s face twitched as she glanced towards Simon, who was now standing beside the chalkboard with his arms crossed. She slowly walked in front of the crowd as she thought to herself. 

The meeting was taking place in a member’s backyard shed, which was barely large enough to accommodate everyone. As such, a handful of people were standing right outside the door. She sighed before she continued, doing her best to ignore the rising temperature in the tight space, and the memories it brought her.

“I’m positive those who remain with us today are all operating with the same understanding that this is not something we as free-thinking people will tolerate. We've only got one life and one planet, and we won't let them take that from us. We need to show whoever will pay attention that there's still a force out there fighting for the people. All, people.”

A collective sound of agreement moved through the room while the brunette in the front row raised a fist above her head.

“Of the people, for the people!”

Nik watched as everyone else followed suit, the room filling with a sea of raised fists. Nik finally smiled, then raised hers.

~

“I knew it was just a matter of time,” a man said, approaching Nik’s side as she scrubbed the chalkboard clean, erasing any evidence they were planning a mass demonstration at the Capital.

“Hey,” she replied, setting the wet rag down and wiping her hands on her sides. “I think we all did, but…” she shrugged. “I guess it’d be stupid to say we were all hoping for something else.”

“Nah, I wouldn’t say that. Without hope, what do we have?”

Nik looked at him flatly. “A lot of angry motherfuckers.”

The two laughed, both understanding the tricky nuances of their situation, and that laughter was a requirement for one to stay sane in the midst of it all. He followed slowly as Nik moved around the room, doing her best to make it look like no one had been here at all.

“Martha and Kyle will be here around seven. I sent them off with about three months worth of funds allotted by Simon. Somewhere around $500.”

Nik sighed deeply. “Well… at least it’ll be easier to restock ammo and aid for the classes, now that two-thirds of our people are gone.” 

“Yeah…” he started, stuffing his hands in his pockets and mentally bracing himself. “You, uh… you hear from him at all?”

She froze.

“No. Last I heard he was still stationed in Alaska, and that was almost two years ago.”

He sighed dramatically. “Of all people, Nate was the last one I thought would–”

“Yeah, me too." She cut him off, pulling a flask from her pocket and taking a steady drink. She offered it to him, but he shook his head in refusal. He watched as Nik took another, much larger, drink.

“You know, Nik, it’s important to talk about what’s hurting us.”

She glared at him as she wiped a dribble of vodka from her lips.

“You teach that yourself, to the girls here.” He finished, turning to a stack of chairs and pushing them against the wall. He then moved a barrel of lawn tools in front of it.

“Don’t need to be taught what I already know,” she stated, rolling the chalkboard behind a wall of wooden pallets.

“What, are you a preacher now?”

Nik stopped, then turned to stare at him flatly. He stared back, shaking his shaggy blonde hair out of his eyes.

“You saying I don’t practice what I preach?”

“That’s exactly what I’m saying, actually. I know you think no one’s noticing, but… I see you drink almost every day. You think that’s not going to catch up to you?”

Her fists clenched at her sides as her cheeks flushed red.

“I’m not your father. Don’t project your shit onto me,” Nik snapped. He smiled spitefully.

“Right.”

She shook her head. “Look, I’m sorry, you know I didn’t mean that.”

He pursed his lips and nodded. “Mhm. See you tomorrow, Nik.” He walked out of the room casually, and she threw her flask on the ground. When she looked down at it, its top had popped off and was losing its contents, so she quickly moved to pick it up.

~

“How’s your dad doing?” 

Nik and her brunette friend led a group of AAF members down the street, heading towards the Capitol building. They were both wearing red bandanas around their necks. Nik inhaled sharply.

“He’s okay, I think. Seems like something’s been bothering him lately, but… you know how he doesn’t like to talk about himself.” Nik replied, shrugging. 

“Remember when he took us to the museum out here when we were kids?” the woman asked, smiling brightly, the way she always did. Nik nodded slowly.

“Yeah. He kept pointing out every inaccuracy he could find. Felt like we were there for hours.”

The two smiled at each other as they continued to walk.

“What do you think the president’s speech is going to be about?”

“More propaganda bullshit,” Nik answered. “False promises. Excuses for the number of dead soldiers rising. Same shit as always.”

“How many soldiers do you think will be here?”

“Well… same as always. A handful stationed around the president in power armor, some discreetly dressed snipers on the rooftops.”

The conversation paused as Nik punched the crosswalk button on the pole beside her. The woman sighed.

“Is what we’re doing enough?”

Nik shook her head as they moved through a crosswalk. She then looked up, seeing the Capitol building directly ahead of them. As she anticipated, there were already several soldiers in power armor surrounding the entrance.

“No, it’s not. Whatever headway we were making before got lost with the warehouse. We have to build again.” She looked down at her friend, who had her hand on her stomach. She sighed as she returned her attention to the road. 

“I know you didn’t want me here today,” she replied, looking sheepish. “I’m just, not ready to not be involved.”

Nik’s attention was drawn across the street as she noticed a mother pushing a baby carriage while another small child walked beside her. All of them, including the baby, were wearing red, white, and blue.

“There are other things you can still do, that don’t jeopardize your guys’ lives,” Nik snapped. The woman hung her head, causing Nik to shake her head regretfully.

“I’m sorry,” Nik apologized, rubbing her temple. “I’m just… scared. Simon and I don’t have any reason to believe this will turn violent, but… it just… it feels something changed after the fire.”

“Don’t apologize, babe. It’s a tough time for all of us.” She then smiled as she nudged Nik with her elbow. “I’ll just be your emotional support when it’s over. I won’t get too close. Promise.”

Nik grinned as she threw an arm around her shoulders.

“You’re stubborn, you know that?”

The woman held Nik’s hand.

“That’s why you love me.”

~

“Thank you, citizens of Boston, proud residents of our country’s beautiful state of Massachusetts, for joining us today on what is another glorious day in this magnificent country of ours. What a blessing from God it is to see so many patriots standing in front of me.”

The crowd erupted, cheering and clapping as both men and women– all dressed in the colors of the country’s flag– raised their hands in praise. The president smiled with all of his teeth as he looked over the crowd, nodding eerily. Nik remained still as she stared at the corporate puppet.

“As you know, with my beautiful army, we have nearly obliterated the enemy in Alaska, undoubtedly assuring our eventual win, and a future where you will be able to pay for groceries, afford your children’s medications, and drive your own car!”

More masculine cheers sounded as Nik struggled to keep herself from fuming. She knew damn well the military was making zero progress in taking back Anchorage, and food and healthcare for all was already an option, if not for the insatiable level of greed existing within the country’s leaders and the corporations lining their pockets. 

“Rest assured we have the finest men fighting for our– oh, uh, we have the finest men and women fighting for our beautiful nation’s freedom and prosperity. Rest assured, military families, as your husbands and fathers will be home in no time.”

Nik watched as the small boy in the red, white, and blue outfit jumped on his tiptoes beside his mother and baby sister. She felt an ache in her chest.

“Of course, in order to bring your loved ones home, we must continue calling on our Canadian friends to the north to cooperate with our efforts. Without their help, our country will suffer, and if we suffer, then it is only inevitable they will, too.” 

Nik felt like she was underwater as the noise of the crowd flooded her brain. It was physically painful to see so many people so disastrously uneducated and impressionable. How could they believe stripping another nation of its resources for nothing in return was a solution to the world’s reserves rapidly depleting?

“Please join me in encouraging, what I am now calling, Little America– yes, Little America, that’s nice, isn’t it?”

Nik’s face trembled with anger while the crowd whooped and laughed around her.

“Please join me in encouraging Little America to do the right thing. Without them, all of our loss… our suffering… will have been for nothing.”

A “U.S.A.” chant began, rattling Nik’s brain. The president stood proudly with one arm extended over the podium casually, a smug, knowing smile on his face. Nik looked to her right, seeing her blonde friend a few paces away. He rolled his eyes and made a jerking-off motion with his hand, which, somehow, made her laugh. She quickly looked behind her, making sure her other friend was still standing against the wall across the street, far away from the crowd. She was met with a rapid wave before turning again.

“Thank you, thank you,” the president bellowed into the microphone. The chant ceased as the man cleared his throat. “While the state of our great country is on the up-and-up, we must never let our guards down. I have chosen your beautiful state– yes, you, Massachusetts,” he flashed his con-man smile as a patriot in the crowd yelled, “Damn right!” The president pointed his finger towards the commenter, then winked.

“I have chosen your beautiful state, with all of its beautiful, bountiful history, as the location to unveil our newest military might.”

Nik’s face fell as a low rumbling rattled the ground and buildings surrounding them. A fleet of what looked to be three helicopters soared through the sky. The crowd was cheering and whooping while Nik watched them from below. Unlike other helicopters, the frame of these weren’t sleek and built for speed. Instead, they were more rounded and bulky with two large propellers sticking out from the front on either side. The helicopters were equipped with cannons in the front while a soldier was stationed behind a minigun protruding from its open-faced sides. The fleet began to slow as the front propellers rotated to lay horizontally. They then started to descend, sending large gusts of wind into the crowd, before the propellers rotated vertically again and moved down the street.

The cheers from the crowd were deafening.

“Impressive, right? Oh, they’re beautiful, and these are just prototypes. Imagine what our men can accomplish with such efficient tools at its disposal. See, while those Communists steal from us, we create!”

Nik shared a glare with her friend again, undoubtedly both thinking the same thing. Suddenly, Simon moved his face into his ear, lingered there for a moment, then glanced towards Nik before walking towards members on the other end of the crowd.

“That is why, on top of perfecting our impressive and ground-breaking power armor, we will be working on those beautiful vertiberds. I hope these measures bring you comfort as we continue to discuss the next steps of our efforts.”

He met Nik at her side after pushing through several people. “Nik, I need to talk to you.”

She jerked her head to the side as they moved away from the edge of the crowd.

“What a load of shit, right? It’s about time we move up before the president dips.”

“They’re planning on sending troops to China.”

Nik froze. “What?”

“Simon just got word. There’s no exact date yet, but… you and I both know it was the end game anyway.”

She shook her head. “What did he say to you exactly?”

“Preemptive troop selection as a response to the growing threat of biological warfare from the Chinese, and to ensure success in resource procurement efforts both in Canada and West and Central Asia.”

“Fuck,” she spat, rotating halfway before looking at him again. She pointed her hand towards the president. “That sack of shit just told these people they’d get their families back in exchange for demonizing Canada.”

He shrugged and shook his head. “You’re saying what we all know.” 

Nik scoffed and crossed her arms, looking over the massive crowd of patriots as they ate up the president’s words like they would die without them. “Not everyone. I can’t believe how stupid and gullible these people are.”

“Being broke and desperate will do that to most people.”

A frown formed on her face. “I’m not interested in sympathizing with these traitors. I’m ready to go if you are.”

He nodded. “I’ll grab Simon and we’ll move up.”

Nik turned on her heel, moving towards the first line of AAF members that had been standing behind her while they listened to the speech.

“It’s time. Remember, no violence unless absolutely necessary.”

The members nodded before turning towards the next line. A minute passed before Nik, her friends, Simon and the rest of the AAF pulled flags from their person and held them in the air with both hands. The flag showed a red fist on a white background. Nik started the chant.

“The American people are tired of war! We do not stand with a nationalist regime! The president, everyone in his cabinet, and every single military leader is lying to you!”

The men and women in the crowd began to look at them, some appearing confused and panicked, while most simply looked furious. 

“The planet is dying! Your sons and daughters are dying! We demand change, for a better life!” She leaned her head back as she shouted, “Of the people!”

“For the people!” The AAF replied.

“Of the pe–”

Nik fell to the ground after a man sucker-punched her in the face. Two members ran to her side to grab her, and as she stood to her feet, she shouted again.

“Of the people!”

“For the people!” 

As others in the crowd pulled the man away from her, she looked towards the Capitol; the president was nowhere to be seen, and soldiers were now moving towards them with their assault rifles drawn. Nik threw herself forward and came face to face with one of them, raising her flag again.

“Didn’t we teach you Commie motherfuckers a lesson? Enough!” the soldier yelled, their voice obscured by the helmet of their power armor suit. She ignored the terror in her stomach as she yelled again.

“The president is lying to you! You’re going to be sent to China to die!”

The soldier lifted his fist to pull the flag out of her hands, yanking it hard enough to cause her to lose her footing, and she fell to the ground again. Her elbows scraped against the concrete and began to bleed as she shifted her legs to stand.

The man from before broke free from those restraining him, promptly pulling a gun from his pants. Nik opened her mouth to yell, but he shot it before she could. He had aimed for Nik but missed, hitting a nearby female civilian in the leg. The soldier turned quickly as the man ran away. 

In the ensuing chaos, frightened witnesses blamed an AAF member for the shot, and without question, the soldier believed it.

Raising his assault rifle, he jabbed the barrel of it into Nik’s stomach before gesturing across the crowd with it, then stopping on the man the crowd had accused of firing the gun. The soldier grabbed his forearm and twisted it behind his back with force. A sickening sound of bones breaking could be heard as the man screamed. Nik’s eyes widened in horror as she began to move towards him, but was stopped by another soldier shoving his rifle into her diaphragm. She raised her hands and backed up, struggling to catch her breath, while several other soldiers commanded others away.

“Back the fuck up! I’ll shoot you right now! You think we can’t do what we want?!”

A fight between a handful of patriots and two AAF members had broken out near the stairs of the Capitol, while another member was being handcuffed and restrained by a police officer to her left. The falsely accused member with the broken shoulder and wrist was being dragged towards a police vehicle by the handcuffs he was wearing, still screaming. The soldiers pushing people towards the outskirts of the event were kicking and punching members as they moved, while patriots began to run away.

“You’re, being lied to!” Nik yelled, struggling to breathe.

“Say one more word, bitch,” he sneered, shoving his gun into her chest again. Nik swiftly grabbed the barrel and pushed it downwards. The soldier fired, sending multiple bullets into the ground. Nik backed up in panic as the soldier raised his arm and swatted her with it, sending her straight to the ground as blood rushed down her face.

“Nik! Nik!” her friend with the matching red bandana screamed, running towards Nik furiously. The soldier now trained his rifle on her.

“I’ll give you one fucking second to back the fuck up, Commie!”

“She’s my friend! She’s a U.S. citizen! How could you do that to her?! This is our first amendment right!”

Nik began to sit up, fighting a lack of balance as she attempted to gain her bearings. As her blurry vision began to stabilize, she looked towards the soldier who assaulted her. He was holding his rifle upwards and marching someone away, who she could not see past the towering power armor. Looking to her left, she saw her friend on the ground, clutching his chest. Nik immediately scrambled to stand, tripping over her feet but catching herself with her hands. Gravel clung to her palms as she sprinted towards him.

“I thought I told you to shut the fuck up!”

“Jack, we need to get everybody out of here,” she panted, hastily lifting him to his feet. He coughed several times before replying with a strained voice.

“How the fuck did that go so badly so fast?”

“They’re making an example out of us.” 

Nik looked around in horror, blood dripping down her cheek as she held onto Jack’s arm. There was blood everywhere. Women were screaming.

A baby was crying.

Nik’s eyes widened in terrified realization. “Where is she?!”

A group of members had run towards the soldier. One member clung to the back of his armor, while the other two pulled at the rifle in his hands. The soldier grunted in frustration as he threw them all to the ground effortlessly. 

“Fuck this!” the soldier yelled.

Three shots pierced the air ahead of Nik and Jack, immediately sending Nik into a run. Jack froze in horror as the soldier finally took two steps back before moving into a jog. Jack could barely hear his voice over the clanking of the metal pieces of armor colliding with one another as he ran.

“Corner of… and… Mt. Vernon… tell them… footage now.”

In an instant, one of the vertiberds from before returned to the scene and rapidly descended into the street, sending Nik sideways as the rush of air pushed her off her path. Two soldiers hopped off of the aircraft, approaching the area where the other soldier just left.

“Over here,” one of them called to the other.

Nik followed the voice. What was blocked by a building before she got blown to the side was visible to her now; her friend with the matching red bandana, on the ground, a pool of dark red blood surrounding the upper half of her body. Nik screamed in horror as she ran towards her. 

“Mary! Mary!” she shrieked, straining her throat as she ran towards the woman who now lay on the ground, blood pouring from her head, which had been completely blown apart. She was recognizable only by her long brunette hair and red bandana now loosely hanging from her neck.

A soldier stuck out his arm in front of her as she ran, immediately sending her to the ground in a daze.

“We told you Commie motherfuckers to back up!” the soldier said, now drawing his weapon at her. Jack raced to her side, grabbing her arm and bringing her to her feet.

“Th–they killed her,” Nik mumbled, voice too quiet to be heard over the roar of more vertiberds descending onto the street, which distracted the soldier in front of her. Her vision started to go blurry and fade at the edges. Jack whipped his head around just in time to see a soldier pushing Mary’s head with the foot of his power armor, sending chunks of brain and an eyeball into the road. He gasped in horror, tears prickling at his eyes.

“Nik, we have to go! Mary’s dead! There’s more coming! We have to go, now!”

~

A sharp gasp moved through Nik’s throat as her eyes sprung open, wide, terrified, and full of tears. She quickly sat up, ignoring the pain in her arm and leg as she clutched her chest, choking on the unbalanced air moving through her throat. The unfallen tears quickly moved down her face. She continued to gasp as she struggled to take a proper breath.

“Nik?” MacCready said, voice sounding low and confused, having awoken from sleep by the sound of her choking. He saw her heaving from behind, her back moving up and down as she continued to gasp. He quickly stood from the chair he was sleeping in, sending his jacket he was using as a blanket to the ground. He rounded the end of the bed to meet her at her side, then crouched and put his hand on her back. Her frantic eyes met his and he saw she was crying, mouth agape as she continued to struggle.

“Hey, you’re alright,” he said, slowly moving his right hand in circles against her back while he put his left on her arm. “Breathe, okay? You’ve gotta breathe.”

Nik looked forward, then down, closing her mouth and breathing deeply through her nose. She then coughed twice before continuing to pant.

“You’re alright, we’re at Greentop, you’re safe,” he continued, moving his left hand to place into hers. She quickly drew it away from him, then yanked the needle connected to the RadAway drip out of her arm. MacCready moved backwards slightly before standing. He watched as the spot on her arm where the needle had been began to drip with a small amount of blood, then grabbed her first-aid kit and presented it to her. She took it in silence, opened it, and began to tend to herself.

MacCready took another step back as he watched her. Tears continued to fall down her face, and she would intermittently stop what she was doing to squeeze her eyes shut tight. When she finally sniffled, all he wanted to do was hold her, but he knew for certain that this time, his best bet was to back off.

Her energy hadn’t felt this heavy since Fort Hagen, and it made him feel ridiculously nervous and concerned.

When she finished with her arm, she then moved towards her leg. After pulling off the bandage MacCready had placed there yesterday, she tossed it aside and began to reclean the wound before stitching it up. MacCready was silent as he grabbed used bandages, the needle, dirty rags and the empty bag of RadAway and left the room with them. She said nothing.

Nik wrapped her leg tightly, then moved to stand. She noticed her scars on her thighs, realizing in an instant he had definitely seen them while he attended to her unconscious self last night.

“Fuck.”

She looked to her left and saw her clothes on a table, noticeably clean and folded crudely. Beside that stood a dented, rusted can with two hubflowers poking out of it. She decided she’d thank Dorothy, Greentop’s leader, before she left.

Nik quickly grabbed her pants as she rushed to pull them on. MacCready approached the room with cans of water as she fastened her belt.

“Sorry,” he said, turning around quickly.

“You’re fine.” 

He turned back around slowly, and Nik now had her jacket on and was sitting on the bed, putting on her boots.

“I got some water,” he said, placing cans on the table. Nik finished tying one boot and extended her arm outwards.

“Can I have one, please?”

MacCready frantically grabbed a can and handed it to her.

“Thank you.”

She set the can beside herself as she pulled a bottle of vodka from her bag. She put about a shots worth in her mouth, but didn’t swallow it. Instead, she swirled it around her cheeks for several seconds. MacCready grabbed and sorted his own bag as she spit into the bucket on the floor. She then opened and drank the entire can of water. 

“I’ll be right back,” she said. He began to say ‘Okay’ but she was already gone, having grabbed the bucket and left the room. He picked his jacket up from the floor and put it on, then put whatever he could fit into his bag before tying it shut. 

Nik returned to the room, not looking at MacCready as she grabbed her belongings. To anyone else, she would simply appear angry. But he could tell she was absolutely miserable. Not the kind of miserable that would lead her to cry or scream, like she had done a few times before. She seemed to have just… disappeared, and the leather-encased body standing before him was only a shell of herself. He suddenly thought of the way she walked into the Dugout with those scars on her face, and how empty her eyes were.

“Goodneighbor?” Nik asked, voice monotone and quiet as she finally made eye contact with him. He nodded, noticing her eyes were bloodshot. She then grabbed her bag and left the room, leaving him to follow.

MacCready spared a glance for the hubflowers in the can on the table. His eyes fell in disappointment.

During their uneventful and silent walk south, MacCready allowed her some space and put himself two steps in front of her. He wanted to respect her energy without compromising her security. He wondered if there was anything he could do once they got to Goodneighbor to make her feel better. 

They began walking past what looked to be an independent settlement, the center of it being what Nik recognized to be Bunker Hill. A dull pounding began to move through her head.

“You two! Caravan or Raider?” The armed woman posted at the entrance said.

MacCready put himself in front of Nik as he answered. “Neither, we’re just passing through.”

The woman thought to herself for a moment before lowering her gun.

“Name’s Kessler, I’m the mayor of Bunker Hill. I’m in charge of everything that comes in and out of here, and I’m no stranger to sorry fools trying to start shit or take what ain’t theirs. So watch yourself.”

MacCready looked towards Nik to gauge her thoughts, but her relentless empty glare offered nothing. He turned back towards Kessler, who was now tapping her foot with impatience. 

“You want to trade, go ahead. No weapons, though.”

MacCready nodded towards the woman as they both lowered their guns, him much more than Nik. 

“Want to pick anything up before we keep going?” He asked. Nik continued to stare at the monument in front of her. 

“How far away are we from Goodneighbor?” She asked.

“Uh, not far at all. You’re right, we should be fine, let’s just go.”

“It’s not that…” she shook her head. “If you want to grab something, we can stop in.”

MacCready turned on his feet and started towards the settlement. “It’ll be quick, I promise.”

Nik followed, lost in thought.

MacCready wandered off towards a trader behind a counter while Nik continued staring upwards at the monument. She rounded the base of it, looking for the opening to the staircase that led to the top. She turned her head around, considering for a moment maybe the monument was off-limits or occupied by someone else, and wondered if any nearby resident would stop her if she walked inside. All she saw was a bald man in a dirty brown jacket and black sunglasses standing against a wall with his arms crossed. He turned his head away from her as she looked at him. She told herself to keep her guard up then began to move up the stairs, ignoring the pain in her leg and the awareness that a climb this large would only make it worse.

When she reached the top she was limping, and was relieved to find a chair directly beside a window. She took a seat, then folded her arms onto the window’s ledge. Through the window, she could see a vast amount of the Commonwealth, mainly the north and west end of the Boston city center itself. Her gaze followed a broken traffic bridge, then moved down the large pillar connecting it to the ground. In the far off distance, she saw a golden dome fixed atop a bricked building. A light breeze moved over her and she closed her eyes as strands of her hair danced across her face. Before she could think of any way to prevent it, she began to cry.

MacCready walked towards the center of the trading hub, then stopped, moving his head back and forth several times. He then walked past every section of the settlement and still could not find her. That sickening feeling he had when he lost her after the Memory Den returned as he stepped towards the entrance again, intent on asking Kessler if she had seen where Nik had gone.

“Hey, have you seen the woman I came in with?”

Before she could answer, a small child piped up from behind him.

“I know where she went.”

MacCready turned and looked down, seeing a tween girl sitting on the ground, drawing pictures of cats on the concrete with multi-colored stones.

“Oh? Do you mind telling me where, sweetheart?” he asked, tone softer than normal.

“Sure, I’ll tell you. For ten caps.” The girl didn’t look away from her drawings as she spoke. MacCready narrowed his eyes, his tone going back to normal.

“Oh, come on. Can’t you just tell me?”

The child didn’t respond. MacCready groaned as he dug through his pockets to collect ten caps. He handed them off, and the child smiled widely as she stood up.

“She went up there,” the child said, looking towards the top of the monument before skipping away towards the vendor he had just traded with, which was the one carrying food. 

MacCready initially felt angry and embarrassed, but that feeling dissipated after he realized he would’ve done the same thing at her age. Though, when he assessed the height of the monument, the anger returned immediately. If Nik actually wasn’t up there, so help him…

When he reached the top of the monument, he saw Nik resting the side of her head on her folded arms, which were still laying on the ledge of the window. While he was relieved to find her, the atmosphere surrounding her felt heavy and intimidating. Regardless, he approached her.

“Hey, Nik,” he said quietly, slowly moving in her direction. He ended up on the platform beside her. 

“Hey.”

She responded, but she didn’t move. With a sigh, MacCready set the jerky he had bought for her on the table beside her, then sat on the steps and leaned against the wall.

“That was quite the climb,” he said, exhaling a deep breath. “How’s your leg doing?”

“Hurts.”

“Do you want to talk?” He blurted out, fighting his nerves to ask the question he’s been saying over and over again in his mind since she woke up this morning. She didn’t respond, so he quickly thought of something else to say.

“I got swindled out of ten caps by a twelve-year-old down there.”

Nik’s shoulders shook once as she laughed quietly. She then raised her head, wiped the tears off of her face, and put her chin in her hands as she propped her elbows on the window.

“I didn’t realize Goodneighbor was so close to the Capital,” she said, staring downwards and to the right. MacCready arched a brow and looked at her.

“The State House?” he asked. Nik nodded. “We’ve passed it several times, Nik.”

She shook her head. “Yeah, well… I was either drunk or high every time we did, so…”

MacCready paused, realizing she hadn’t had anything to drink in at least a full day, which was uncommon for her.

“I’ll buy you as much as you want when we get to Goodneighbor. It’s the least I could do after all you’ve done for me.”

Nik shot him a look. “You don’t owe me anything.”

He challenged her with a simple smile. “Fine, then, just… let me buy you a drink, no strings attached.”

She analyzed his face before deciding that would be acceptable.

“That’s better.”

Silence hung between them, this time, MacCready feeling the brunt of it. Nik appeared to be content to sit at this window for hours, but he was still worried about her, and would be lying if he said he wasn’t anxious about getting the cure to Daisy as soon as possible. He decided to be brave, and he put his hand on her forearm. She didn’t move.

“All things considered, Nik… you’re doing a hell of a job. I know you say I don’t owe you anything, but… if you ever need to talk, I–”

“Before the bombs, I was a part of an anarchist rebel group,” she started, taking a deep breath as she sat up slightly. MacCready immediately closed his mouth, feeling the weight of her words before she spoke them. “When I was twenty, I led our people into a demonstration against the president and the military. A peaceful protest. Very common for the time, especially for us.”

MacCready kept his hand on her arm and looked up at her with his full attention.

“Someone in the crowd fired a gun at me after I ordered everyone to pull out their flags, and… all hell broke loose.” She stared forward, eyes empty. “Soldiers in power armor brutalizing my friends. Beating them with their rifles and breaking their bones with that fucking bullshit, tin can, ugly fucking metal suit.” She paused and held her eyes shut as she unclenched her teeth. When she opened her eyes again, a single tear fell down her cheek. “By the end of it, my best friend Mary had her head blown off. She was pregnant. The soldier responsible got an award for Homeland Security.”

MacCready frowned, then removed his hand from her arm.

“A few days later, I found out they were waiting for us. Mine and a few others' names had ended up on a list on the governor’s desk and we didn’t know. And I led everyone straight into it. I was the reason Mary died. I even had a chance to save her, but I went after a different friend of mine instead.” She shook her head. “I dreamt about them last night. About the day she died.” She paused, then held the sides of her head in her hands. “I usually do, almost every night. And if it’s not them I see, it’s Nate, and…”

MacCready stared at the ground, nervously entangling his fingers repeatedly. He, once again, began thinking about how alike they were; she has nightmares from a traumatic event, and he does, too. Not only does she have survivor’s guilt because of Nate and everyone else in Vault 111, but she has it because of her friend Mary, as well. He couldn’t even begin to list off how many people in his company had died aside from Lucy. Guilt was a feeling he understood all too well, and it made his chest ache knowing she experienced it in the same all-consuming way he did.

“I lost everyone that meant anything to me, long before the bombs destroyed the world. All I had left was Shaun, and…” She stopped, scrunching her face and gesturing her hand outside. MacCready nodded knowingly. 

“Sometimes…” she paused, fearful of saying the words out loud and making them real, but unable to hold back what's been lodged in her throat and lungs for weeks now. “Sometimes, when I wake up and realize where I am, I wonder if this is my punishment.”

MacCready tilted his head as if to say, ‘what do you mean?’, but was unable to open his mouth. She shook her head slowly and frowned, another round of tears forming in her eyes.

“For everything I did, and everything I failed to do. Waking up to this nightmare, running around in circles, chasing after my son through a radioactive Hell. It’s punishment, for failing all of those people. All of my friends. Mary,” she stopped, then hung her head. “But I guess it never mattered, anyway. The bombs dropped seven years later.”

MacCready watched as she put her head in her hands. Her fingers began to curl and arch around her scalp, and before she could hurt herself, he instinctively moved forward on his knees and grabbed her forearms. Instead of pulling away or slapping him, her arms went limp as she started to sob.

He could only watch as she cried. Several sentences formed in his mind, but none of them felt right. He became frustrated, feeling he was failing at his job to protect her, even when that meant protecting her from herself.

MacCready channeled every fiber of bravery in his being as he sat himself straight up then pulled Nik off of the chair and towards him. To his surprise and immense relief, she left the chair without a fight, putting her bottom half on the floor beside him while she leaned her top half into his side. He wrapped his arm around her as her head rested against his shoulder. Nik’s tears rolled down the front of his jacket steadily.

With his heart rate elevated slightly, he moved his hand to her head, slowly petting the back of her hair. Again, she did not fight him, even as her body trembled with intense emotion. He could tell she was still holding back despite everything, and it broke his heart. He wondered what else tortured her mind as he quietly breathed a shushing sound onto the top of her head. He felt her fingers curl into his chest, and in an instant, the words he needed to say formed without thought.

“There’s never anything anyone can say or do to make losing someone you love feel like anything less than the crushing, suffocating weight that it is. How do you cope knowing someone you would’ve given your life for spent their last moments terrified and alone?” 

Nik continued curling her fingers repeatedly as she let out a quiet whimper. His face winced in pain at the sound. He took a breath and continued.

“You don’t. All there is to do, is move forward. And if you don’t have a reason to move forward, you find one. Because the last thing they’d want for us, would be to carry on operating as if their memory is a burden.”

Nik didn’t realize she was gripping the lapel of his jacket until he had stopped speaking. The hand he was petting her hair with now laid still on her back. She had stopped crying, and found her breathing pattern was slowing to match his. She could hear his heartbeat through her skull, as the baseline of anxiety she existed in at all times had fallen silent. 

She felt herself threatening to disassociate, so she gulped, and curled her fingers again to touch his chest.

“Do you believe that?” Nik muttered, eyes staring forward. MacCready sighed, thinking to himself before he answered.

“Yeah, I do. Maybe not every day, but… when things get really bad, I try to at least tell myself that.”

Several silent minutes passed. As Nik continued to lay against him with her hand tucked beneath his jacket, her thoughts began to move again. When he spoke, it felt like he was reading into the very core of her being. While it frightened her, she couldn’t deny the reassurance she felt knowing someone else knew what those scary mental spaces were like, and that it was not something made exclusively for her as a way to torture her. As if it was punishment. Or like she deserved it.

She wrangled with that idea and what it implied for a moment, before a dull pain in her leg caused her to shift her body. MacCready removed his arm from her back and moved to the side slightly, allowing her space to comfortably situate herself. By the time she was still again, the two had their legs crossed and were staring at each other.

“I’m surprised this thing hasn’t toppled over yet,” MacCready said suddenly, tapping the wall of the monument with a closed fist. The flat delivery of his sentence on the heels of such an emotionally-charged conversation made Nik laugh abruptly, something he was quite good at doing, he noticed. He smiled with a sense of pride. He truly loved her laugh.

“Sorry I chose a spot two-hundred and ninety-four steps above the ground to have my latest breakdown at,” she responded quietly, lowering her head slightly as her mouth curled at the sides. MacCready beamed.

“Nah, don’t sweat it. I usually skip leg day, so, I should be thanking you,” he said with a dramatized macho voice, subtly flexing his arms. Nik’s mouth moved into a full-fledged smile as she watched him. She nudged his shoulder playfully before lowering her head to hide her blushing face. A wad of folded burlap landed in her lap. She lifted her head and looked at MacCready questioningly.

“Jerky. Your favorite. That’s what I came in for. Traded all those bullets I found at Med-Tek for ‘em.”

“Now you’re just kissing ass,” she said, voice louder now as she unfolded the fabric and took a gracious bite. Her stomach suddenly growled loudly and he gave her a wide-eyed look.

“By the sound of it, I’m just doing my damn job trying to keep you alive,” he teased, glancing towards her stomach which she swiftly covered with her arm. She nudged his leg with hers as she turned away from him. MacCready folded his arms against his chest as he settled against the wall again, beaming from ear to ear. 

“Hey, Mac, um…” Nik started, fighting to keep her head from falling again. It was difficult for her to say the words, but she believed they needed to be said. “Thank you, for, um… hearing me out. I appreciate it.”

MacCready’s eyes softened as he smiled. “Thank you for trusting me.”

Nik looked down now, fully hiding her face. The warmth on her cheeks had moved to her ears, and all she could think to do was hide. She liked the way he looked at her when he was being comforting; how his normally scattered eyes settled entirely on her, how his brow moved with genuine response, how he would smile with his entire face when she looked at him.

“Whenever you’re ready, Boss. Take your time,” MacCready said politely, cutting off Nik’s train of thought. He lowered his hat slightly as he leaned his head back and shut his eyes.

Nik continued to eat, not realizing she was absolutely starved until she took a bite of food. She suddenly became hyper aware of her pitiful stature that often came with her breakdowns; upper back and shoulders curled forward, head hung low, arms and legs sprawled wherever. In a flash she straightened herself before MacCready could open his eyes again. 

This was odd. She cried, she confessed the details of the day that marked the beginning of the end of her life as she knew it, she almost disassociated. And now, she was laughing and smiling and worrying about how she looked in front of him.

She was also thinking about how easy it was becoming to talk to him, and how much she enjoyed being in his arms.

She knew exactly what it meant, and it scared the shit out of her.

Chapter Text

MacCready led Nik into Goodneighbor, only giving her her bag back once the gate was shut behind them. She nodded with appreciation before gesturing her head towards Daisy’s shop. He eagerly made his way there while Nik lagged behind, her limp now fully catching up to her.

“MacCready! I haven’t seen you in a while. You haven’t been avoiding me, have you?” Daisy said.

“How could I stay away from someone as cute as you, Daisy?” MacCready replied, flashing a coy smile.

Nik narrowed her eyes.

Daisy laughed as she leaned forward into the counter. “You’re a lousy liar, but I’ll just play stupid and pretend I don’t know that. So, what did you need?”

“I got it, Daisy,” MacCready said, voice rich with emotion as he looked at the shopkeep with a wide grin on his face. “I found the cure to Duncan’s disease!”

“Oh, my, MacCready, that is wonderful news!” she replied, matching his energy almost immediately. “How did you do it? Last time you tried, the ferals almost chewed you to bits.”

Nik’s expression softened slightly as she began to realize they must have a respectable history with one another. She looked between them happily, grateful to see someone he trusted experiencing his joy with him. 

“I didn’t do it alone. My friend here got me through Med-Tek,” he said, looking towards Nik with a soft smile on his face. Daisy seemed to look at her as well, her dark eyes facing her direction. Nik stiffened at the sudden attention while MacCready continued to speak. “Now all I need to do is get the cure into Duncan’s hands. Can you help me?”

“Of course, MacCready. You’ve saved my behind more than once, it’s the least I can do.” Daisy looked at Nik again, who had looked outside, noticing a figure in a plaid shirt moving past the entryway to the shop for the second time since they stepped foot inside. Nik noted the sudden silence and turned her attention back to Daisy. “It’s okay, you can trust me. I swear I’ll get the cure to Duncan.”

MacCready looked towards Nik, seemingly seeking her approval as well. It took her off guard, especially considering he was the one holding the cure anyway. She decided to entertain their conversation regardless.

“If MacCready trusts you, that’s good enough for me.”

“I appreciate that. He’s actually not so bad, once you get to know him,” she finished with a wink, then turned her attention back to him. “I’ll get the sample on the first caravan leaving the Commonwealth. The driver owes me a few favors, and he’s reliable. It will arrive at your homestead in no time, MacCready.”

His face lit up as he removed his bag from his back. “Thanks, you’re a doll. Oh, I’ve got a bunch of other stuff to send to him, too!”

Nik watched him as he excitedly pulled multiple comics and other various papers from his bag. She felt solemn. While she was excited for him, she couldn’t deny the fact she was jealous. Soon, Duncan would know that his dad had been looking out for him, and she only wished she could say the same about her own son.

If he’s even still alive.

Daisy turned her head towards Nik again.

“Hey, do me a favor. Take care of MacCready for me. He’s one of the good ones.”

Nik blinked, and found herself unable to speak. She turned away to hide her face when a flash of white and black moved in her peripheral, for the third time. She craned her neck to the side, and realized it was the same bald man with black sunglasses she had seen at Bunker Hill. Not only did he follow them there, but he had made a point to change his clothes. Her mind flipped in an instant as she stomped out of the shop and approached him furiously.

“You!” Nik yelled, pointing at the man, who was now wearing a plaid shirt and blue jeans instead of the heavy brown jacket and brown pants he was wearing earlier. “You’re following me, aren’t you?!”

“Oh shit, not again,” a resident said, moving towards a guard to alert them of the unfolding situation. The bald man simply smiled.

“What a day, huh?” was all he said. Nik’s eyes widened in anger. 

“I saw you at Bunker Hill. When I thought I recognized you from the Memory Den, I just assumed it was some other douchebag in black sunglasses.”

Back in Daisy’s shop, MacCready asked her to watch his stuff before he rounded the corner, having heard Nik’s voice. As he approached her, he found her toe to toe with a man he’d never seen before. 

“Everything alright here, Boss?” he asked, standing directly behind her with a cautious look on his face.

“No, this fucker is following us.”

“Correction, I’m following you,” the stranger said coolly.

Nik stopped, taken aback by the sudden confession. She yanked her knife from her left thigh holster and shoved it beneath his chin, stopping the blade just short of his skin.

“You’ve got two fucking seconds to explain yourself before I wear your head like a fucking bracelet.”

The strange man raised his hands with a grin. “Hey, hey, I’m not trying to cause you any trouble here, honest. You can trust me!” His overall demeanor was flippant despite the fact he had a blade two inches from his throat, and Nik was becoming lethally impatient.

MacCready held his rifle now, preparing to shoot this guy in the head if he needed to. Nik cocked her head to the side, eyes frenzied.

“One, two…” 

The blade turned in her hands. The man simply smiled.

“Just call me a fan, okay?”

“Not good enough,” she seethed, beginning to suspect this mysterious stranger somehow knew about her killing Kellogg. What else had she done that warranted attention besides help build settlements and supply lines? That wasn’t nearly as sexy as taking out the Institute’s yes-man.

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t my little Fireball herself,” Hancock spoke slyly as he turned the corner and approached the scene. MacCready lowered his rifle and stared daggers at the ghoul, which he noticed immediately. “And you, MacCready, well, I have half a mind to say you don’t look too happy to see me?” He pouted his lip.

MacCready made a point to soften his expression, knowing damn well it was in his best interest to stay in Hancock’s good graces, even if he wanted to rip his head off for the way he looked at Nik.

“How’s it goin’, Hancock?” he said in a casual tone, poorly forced.

“Ah, I was just enjoying myself a bit of a chem break when I got word from a concerned citizen that my Fireball here was on another rampage.”

“Rampage?!” Nik spat, curling her face at the mayor. “If you call asking this fuckhead why he’s been following me all over northern Boston a rampage, then I’d hate to see how this town would deal with some actual fucking trouble.”

Hancock laughed, then took a step towards the group. He put a hand on Nik’s shoulder, attempting to encourage her to lower her knife. She simply glared.

“This guy here?” Hancock said, gesturing his head towards the stranger. “He’s not your enemy. In fact,” he continued, putting his other hand on his shoulder now, as if he were connecting the two in some weird ritual she didn’t consent to. “I think you’d do well in hearing him out. He may actually be helpful to you.” The bald man smirked cockily as Hancock continued. “That part's up to you, Fireball. But unfortunately, he ain’t disposable. So unlike Finn, if he gets taken out on my watch, I’m afraid you’d be in actual fucking trouble.”

“Are you threatening her?” MacCready spat, stepping forward in earnest. Hancock’s expression turned into a mix of excitement and confusion, humor and knowing, as Nik finally lowered her knife and glared at Hancock in reluctant surrender.

“Oh ho ho, looks like I wasn’t too far off after all,” he laughed, biting his bottom lip dramatically. He nodded once before flicking his chin to the side. Nik suddenly felt like running away, knowing exactly what he was getting at. MacCready stopped himself from taking another step out of fear he’d do something he’d regret. 

Hancock looked at Nik now, leaning towards her ear as he whispered, “Did you ever tell him what I said?”

Nik’s jaw twisted repeatedly in annoyance. “Respectfully, mayor, I don’t appreciate you inserting yourself in my business.”

“Well, respectfully, Fireball, I don’t appreciate you stirring up unnecessary trouble in my town, regardless of how fine you look doing it.” 

MacCready’s hands tightened around his rifle. 

“She is quite impressive, isn’t she?” The bald man said. 

“That’s enough,” MacCready huffed, his voice sounding from deep within his throat. “She’s not some fucking spectacle for you two to gawk at. Either be up front and address her by her name or don’t say anything at all, do you understand me?” 

Nik turned towards MacCready and put her hand on his arm. She mouthed the word ‘stop’ as Hancock smiled even wider.

“Now that’s the kind of talk I’d expect from a man in your circumstances. About time, MacCready,” he said with a devious smile. “But let’s not get too ahead of ourselves.” Hancock turned towards the small group of spectators that had accumulated and shooed them away. “I’ll let your new friend here say his piece. And remember, Nik,” he continued, saying her name in a flourish while staring directly at MacCready. “It’s a good idea to listen.” 

MacCready’s eyes met Hancock’s as the two stared at each other in a silent battle of dominance. At the same time, the bald man leaned his head towards Nik’s ear.

“If you want some real help taking out the Institute, follow the Freedom Trail.”

Nik twisted her face in confusion. “What in the flying fuck are you talking about?”

The man simply smiled at her, and she could tell he was wiggling his eyebrows from behind the dark sunglasses as he raised a single finger to put in front of his lips.

“Shh, easy there, Nik, these folk run a low-key organization. Don’t want to spoil your chances before you’ve even started,” Hancock said, enjoying himself a little too much.

Nik widened her eyes and tilted her head back as she tensed her hands and shook them. “Oh, my god. If I don’t get a straight answer out of one of you I’m going to freak the fuck out.” She then stared directly at the stranger. “Are you talking about the fucking tourist attraction?”

He pointed at her with a finger gun. “Bingo.”

“How is that relevant?!”

MacCready put himself closer to Nik and held her arm with two fingers from behind, where neither Hancock nor the stranger could see.

“Name’s Deacon, I do reconnaissance for the Railroad,” the man whispered, leaning forward with a smile. He then extended his arm outwards, but Nik ignored the gesture as MacCready moved his entire hand onto her now. “And I’m in the presence of the General of the Minutemen herself, correct?”

Her blood ran cold as realization hit her.

“How long have you been following me,” she asked, jaw closed tight as her anger began to bubble upwards from her core.

Deacon smiled. “Since you left Vault 111.”

She took a full step backwards now, moving into MacCready’s hands as he envisioned burning him alive with his mind. Hancock’s jaw dropped as he smiled, clearly entertained by the conversation.

“I didn’t expect that,” the ghoul said.

“When you and your pal here went into Fort Hagen, I for sure thought you weren’t coming back out alive,” Deacon continued, chuckling to himself. Nik launched herself forward and connected her fist with his face. He crashed to the ground, grumbling pathetically as he curled on the uneven stone. Hancock cackled loudly.

“You don’t know shit about me or what I’m capable of!” Nik spat, leaning her top half over Deacon’s body as he rolled onto his back. He was smiling, and she had the urge to kick him, but MacCready, wary of how Hancock would react to a Railroad agent being beaten on his watch, grabbed both of her arms and pulled her back.

“Nik, he’s not worth it,”

“The fuck do you mean?!” she spat, whipping her head to the side in an attempt to look at him as she struggled against his grasp.

“Well, I can’t blame him for keeping an eye on you, if you ask me,” Hancock said, extending his hand to Deacon to lift him from the ground. MacCready frowned and let Nik go.

“You know what, go ahead,” MacCready said. Nik swiftly kicked Deacon between his legs, which sent him straight back to the ground. Hancock lost his grip on Deacon’s hand and laughed as he said, “Alright, I think that’s enough.”

“That’s objective,” MacCready muttered, crossing his arms as he scowled. Nik stood tense, fists curled beside her.

“I don’t fucking appreciate having my privacy violated like that, you bald-ass motherfucker,” she seethed. “You could’ve approached me at any point, so please, tell me why it’s taking me kicking your ass for you to tell me anything?!”

Deacon coughed as he sat up. “I almost did, in Diamond City,”

“Oh, nice, you were there too, of course you were,”

“But… oh fuck, that hurts,”

MacCready suppressed a laugh while Nik tapped her foot.

“But you left with Valentine, and,”

“You know what? I’ll give you one chance,” Nik said, crouching to meet Deacon at eye-level. “Tell me what you can offer me. If I like it, maybe we can figure something out. If I don’t, you can walk your happy ass down that Freedom Trail, and if I catch you following me again, I’ll show you what you missed at Fort Hagen. Understood?” She stood upright again, inhaling sharply as the stitches in her wound shifted against the bandage covering them.

Deacon nodded quickly as he reached for Hancock again, but he was occupied with an inhaler of Jet, so he moved his hand to the ground instead and pushed himself up.

“You’ve made your point,” Deacon said, holding a hand over his stomach. “But I can’t tell you more right now.”

Nik lifted a bent arm as if she was going to punch him again, making him throw his arms up in a flinch.

“Really, after all that? Why not?”

“I’m not allowed to.” He lowered his arms and stood up straight. “It’s in the nature of what we do, to keep it all on the down-low.”

“Oh yeah? If that’s the case, why are you and your group supposedly accessible through a clearly marked red line in the streets?” she asked condescendingly, referring to the Freedom Trail itself, a well-known Boston landmark connecting multiple historical sites to one another.

“That’s… classified,” he muttered, appearing less and less confident by the second. Nik broke into a laugh.

“Ah, of course,” she said, slapping the side of her head. “You’re entitled to secrecy, but I had to be watched while I wiped my ass in the forest, got it.”

MacCready laughed abruptly.

“I looked away for that.”

“I suggest you shut the fuck up.”

“Alright, look, last thing I’ll say. If you’re interested in hearing us out, we’re located at,” his mouth practically touched her ear as he said, “the Old North Church, in the basement.” Nik scowled in disgust as she threw herself to the side to get away from him.

“Great. I’ll bring cheese and crackers.”

“So you’ll come?”

“I’ll think about it,” she spat. “And in the meantime, if I catch you peeping on me again, that interaction will end entirely differently than this one is.”

Deacon swallowed, then nodded, forcing a confident smile back onto his face. “You got it! See you around!” he finished with another nod and turned to leave Goodneighbor entirely. Nik looked at Hancock now, who had his head tilted back with his eyes closed.

“Man,” he said slowly, before lowering his head again and shaking it. “That was something else.” He laughed, then looked at Nik. “I find myself saying that about you quite a lot, don’t I?”

MacCready’s face twitched.

“You know what, Hancock?” Nik said. “I don’t really care right now. I was in the middle of something really fucking important before all this.”

MacCready felt his heart lurch into his throat as he listened to her, the nerves of affection lasting for all but a few seconds before Hancock’s voice drove it away.

“How is someone offering to help you with getting your son back not important?”

The muscles in Nik’s face solidified into a frown that seemed to move through the rest of her body, holding her to the ground like drying cement. With a glare that could freeze a man faster than a cryogenic chamber, she seethed the words, “Fuck. You.”

MacCready stepped in front of Nik, placing his hands on her shoulders and turning her back towards the shop. “I think we’re done here,” he said, guiding Nik back inside.

“Struck a nerve?” Hancock said, chuckling sarcastically as he turned on his heel and strode back towards the Old State House. MacCready felt Nik’s arms tense in his hands as she whipped herself back around. MacCready’s fingers curled around her shoulders as he held her back.

“Nik, please, the last thing you need right now is to be locked up.”

Her eyes intensified with unspoken emotion as she looked over the concern on his face.

He’s only saying that because he doesn't want to deal with it.

In the same instance, she looked towards the counter, noticing a makeshift package made out of cardboard and scraps of fabric with the words, ‘To Duncan - Love Dad’ written on the top of it.

How cute.

Nik yanked herself away from MacCready and took a step backwards.

“I need a drink,” she mumbled, looking around frantically before she realized all she had was already on her person.

“Well, hold on a second, I’ll go with you,” he said, reaching his hand towards her arm. She pulled herself backwards, and his hand hung in the air before he returned it to his side.

“No, just, leave me alone, please,” she said, voice quivering as she stepped past him. He watched her as she walked away, feeling a tightness in his throat as his mind begged him to go after her, but his body refused completely.

He saw her walk down the alley leading to the Third Rail through the holes in the walls of KL-E-O’s shop, and sighed heavily as he turned towards Daisy, who had her arms crossed. 

“That’s quite the friend you’ve got there, MacCready,” she said, breaking him out of his thoughts. “Trouble in paradise?”

He lowered both elbows onto the counter and rubbed his hands down his face. “It’s not like that.”

“Oh. Don’t tell me she helped you just because she wanted to?”

MacCready tightened his lips together and looked down, feeling the weight of Nik’s actions in a much heavier way after hearing someone else acknowledge them out loud.

“Yeah, she did,” he started, standing up straight again and rubbing the back of his neck. “I think it’s ‘cause she gets it, y’know.” He shrugged, and Daisy nodded in understanding.

“It’s a shame, what that poor girl’s going through,” she said. MacCready watched her as she spoke, feeling the heaviness in the air seep into every limb of his body. “The old world was nothin’ to write home about. Trust me. Then she wakes up to all this, with her boy taken to the one place no one’s been able to find?” She shook her head sympathetically. “I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy.”

MacCready, knowing Daisy to be quite the vengeful person, felt uneasy after hearing her say that. He lowered his hands to the counter and nudged the package. “Can you move that out of sight, please?” 

Daisy chuckled as she opened a large crate next to her feet, deposited the package, and locked it shut.

“He’ll appreciate all the letters, I’m sure.”

“Yeah…” MacCready replied, scratching the light scruff on his neck as he thought to himself. “Hey, Daisy? Where did you live before the war, exactly?”

She laughed. “Right Downtown, I’ve told you that. Must’ve drank yourself silly that night.”

MacCready’s eyes shifted back and forth repeatedly as he put together multiple images in his mind. Before he could find a reason to hold it back, he was asking the question.

“This might be a longshot, but… did you ever hear about a, uh… um…” His brows furrowed as he searched for the words, and Daisy stared at him expectantly.

“Come on, son. Contrary to popular belief, I ain’t got all day.”

“Sorry. Before the bombs, there was this, um… an-anarchist, uh, group? You know anything about that?” he asked, unsure if he was saying the words correctly. Daisy appeared to think to herself for a moment before her eyes widened in recollection.

“Wow. Wow, that really takes me back.” She tilted her head upwards and nodded intermittently. “Yeah, I’d see stuff about them on Galaxy News, on the television. Being the educated woman I was, I took a liking to their mission. Most of ‘em were barely adults," she said, shaking her head in pity. "Then again, it’s usually the youngins with the energy and conviction to try and change the world. Now how in the hell did you hear about that?”

MacCready felt his stomach drop into his ass. “Um, Nik may have mentioned something about it, but… anyway, um, I was just wondering, that’s all.” He rubbed his neck, again.

Daisy turned her head slightly as she stared at him suspiciously. “She must’ve witnessed something firsthand, then, because their existence was squashed as soon as they were discovered by the president, from what I can remember.”

MacCready furrowed his brow.

“‘Squashed?’ How do you mean?”

“Well, you’ve gotta understand how people like them were perceived before you can understand why most people wanted them dead. They were painted as God-hating, communist-loving traitors of the worst kind. Everyone who opposed the war was, that’s why I kept to myself.” Daisy noted the confusion on his face and took a breath before repeating herself. “You’ve gotta understand, MacCready. At the time, that was the worst thing someone could be.”

His face curled in confusion. “What, were there no thieves or murderers or something?”

She laughed. “Exactly. But you’re a well-read boy, why ask me? Better yet, why aren’t you asking her?”

MacCready’s eyes widened then settled in a panicked yet fluid response.

“Heh, that’s not always the brightest thing to do, in my experience.” He looked over his shoulders one after the other. Daisy cocked a brow as he leaned towards her. “One day she’s a million miles away, the next, she’s crying on my shoulder. I can’t figure her out. I mean, I can’t get her to talk to me, most days, is… what I mean.”

He stopped, realizing he indulged more than he meant to, and looked into Daisy’s black eyes with apprehension. A small smile curled onto her face.

“Sounds like a tale as old as time, to me,” she said. “Hellbent, scorned woman too broken to let people in. Hell, I think I wrote that one myself,” she finished with a laugh. MacCready feigned a smile before exhaling a large sigh.

“I don’t know what to do about it, Daisy. I’m still working for her right now, but…” He shifted his weight from one leg to the other. “What if one day she doesn’t want to partner with me anymore? And she runs off all angry at the world and gets herself killed, and there’s nothing I can do to stop it?”

A short moment of silence lingered between them as Daisy contemplated what MacCready failed to say.

“...How long have you known this girl?”

“Uh… maybe, close to two weeks now, I think?”

“Two weeks is an awfully short time to grow to care for someone so much. You sure this ain’t something else?”

MacCready side-eyed her.

“What do you mean?”

“I think you know what I mean, boy.”

“No! I mean, no. Absolutely not. I mean…” He rubbed his neck for the third time while Daisy crossed her arms and pursed her lips. “Ugh, would you stop looking at me like that?”

“Like what, MacCready?”

“No, it’s…” he looked over his shoulder again as he leaned in even closer. “It’s not like that. She’s just, different, and not just because of where she comes from. It probably sounds stupid, but… I feel like I’ve known her for a lot longer than I actually have. And none of my other friends would’ve done what she did for me.”

“Sounds pretty simple to me. Sounds like you’ve got the best kind of friend someone could ask for. Now, what have you done to repay her?”

“Well… nothing, yet. I was supposed to buy her a drink tonight, but you saw the way she walked out of here.”

“MacCready. Come on.”

“What?”

“Alright, what is it you do that she likes? You able to look inside long enough to figure that one out, at least?”

“Um… well, I make her laugh a lot.”

“Woo, well I'll be. Dare I say there's no faster way to a woman’s heart than that.”

“I’m not trying to do anything with her!”

Daisy’s expression suddenly turned extremely serious, so much so it made MacCready recoil.

“Now I know you know better than to think the only reason to have space in your heart for a woman is to lie with her.”

His face ran blood red as the air in his lungs escaped. “I… Yes. Yes, I know better. I’m sorry,” He yanked on the rim of his hat. “It’s just, Hancock keeps insinuating there’s something between us, and–”

“Oh, fuck that old bastard,” Daisy said, waving her hand downwards. “He does not know when to shut the hell up. Gets on my damn nerves. Don’t pay him any mind, it’s your reaction he wants anyway.”

MacCready’s exasperated expression eased slightly as a smile crept onto his face. Daisy lowered her hands onto the counter and leaned forward.

“Now I want you to listen to me when I say this. Having someone you can trust is important, but having someone who can make the bad times feel bearable is the greatest gift the universe can give you, and it's a rare one, at that. To that end, I know you’re no stranger.”

MacCready glanced towards his scuffed boots on the ground, feeling an ache in his heart for the woman who used to be all of those things for him. Something else ached, too, as he considered for a moment that Nik could be something even remotely similar.

“There’s only so much grief one person can take, MacCready. Sounds to me like you’ve gotta figure out how you feel. What you’re willing to feel.” She paused, moving her gaze from his face to her hands. “What self-sacrifices you’d be willing to make to honor those feelings.”

MacCready didn’t respond, scattered thoughts running in multiple directions in his mind as if they were searching for a place to land, only to repeatedly fall short.

Daisy let out a large breath and tapped the counter. “I’m about to start charging you by the hour, boy.”

MacCready shook his head slowly, eyes unmoving. While Nik did manage to talk to him today, he was beginning to know her, and knowing her meant it was simply a matter of time before she completely shut down again.

If she hadn’t already, that is.

“What do I do when she won’t let me in?” he asked.

Daisy sighed, and he flicked his eyes upwards to meet hers.

“Put yourself in her shoes, no matter how unfathomable it may be. Take what she’s told you and consider it. Really consider it. Everything she’s ever known was destroyed, and that alone is enough to wreck someone. Add a vengeful mother to that mix and you’ve got Helter Skelter.”

“Helty what?”

“Oh, nevermind,” she said, beginning to move towards the underside of the counter.

“Daisy?”

“Yes, MacCready,” she replied, clearly becoming tired of talking.

“In your opinion,” he started, lowering himself slightly to lean one elbow on the counter. “Why did they push the button?”

She stood upright with a grunt, then spoke with an unblinking, serious focus. “The same reason a Raider will walk into a settlement and shoot a mother and her baby in the head for a measly stash of twenty caps; greed, and the refusal to do any hard work to make the world a better place. That’s what mankind was, and is.”

He shook his head and frowned. “Oh. How inspiring.”

Daisy chuckled. “That’s the reality, MacCready. You want inspiring? Keep reading your comics. You want to help the woman who helped you? Try considering her reality every once in a while.”

MacCready shifted his eyes upwards. For a woman with obsidian for eyes, she surely knew how to see straight through him. 

What else did she know?

“I’d be careful, if I were you,” she said, smirking knowingly. “She’s got a chip on her shoulder bigger than the Appalachian mountains. You cross her? I fear I’d never see you again.”

~

MacCready left Hotel Rexford after securing himself a room and depositing his belongings behind a locked door. He had close to an hour to brush his teeth, change his shirt, and scrub the blood and dirt from his hands. He stretched the time as much as he could, but now that he was done, his thoughts ran amok. 

Daisy’s words acted as an echo of those thoughts, and only after hearing her, did he realize what he was feeling wasn’t something fleeting or unfounded. What he considered might be something as simple as attraction and convenience was something far more complicated.

When he was around Nik, he felt happy. When he touched her, he felt the void in his chest come alive in flashes of red and orange. Like an explosion, she had left her mark.

Above all, the thought of losing her terrified him in a way he swore he’d never allow himself to feel again, and he was already past the point of trying to deny any of it existed in the first place. His conversation with Daisy helped him make sense of it all, and now that he was sitting alone, feeling cut open, vulnerable and unsure, he couldn’t hold himself back from going after Nik.

He descended the stairs leading into the Third Rail, quickly looking towards the bar. When he didn’t see her, he scanned the tables, chairs, and couches in the middle of the room. 

“Come on, Nik,” he mumbled to himself, dismissing the feeling of deja vu creeping into his mind. He had one foot on the bottom of the stairs when he noticed a pair of legs in black pants stretched across a couch in the VIP room. Exhaling a sigh of relief, he made his way there.

MacCready stepped into the room and saw Nik was sitting against the armrest with a journal in her lap. She slammed it shut as soon as she saw him, and looked towards him with a miserable look on her face. Whatever message she was trying to send with that look didn’t deter him, so he sat on the other end of the couch, leaned back, and relaxed his legs. Nik sat up straight and crossed her arms.

“Are you okay?” he asked, rolling his head against the back of the couch to look at her. She responded with a glare before reaching behind herself for the bottle of vodka she bought. 

“Never been better,” she said, twisting off the cap and bringing the bottle to her mouth. She took two large gulps before extending the bottle towards MacCready. He took it while she pressed her eyes shut and shook her head.

“It wasn’t okay, the way that guy followed you around,” he said quietly, taking a small sip. She motioned for the bottle back and took another large drink.

“Makes me feel like nowhere is safe.” Another drink.

MacCready watched her as the contents of the bottle sloshed back and forth. He considered his conversation with Daisy, and wondered if she ever felt safe at any point in her life. In yet another moment of chosen bravery, he looked at her directly, then asked, “Would it make you feel better if I said I’m doing everything in my power to make sure you are safe?”

Nik glared at him, and her lack of response hurt his feelings.

“I would hope you know I mean that,” he tried again.

Another drink.

“After what you did for me yesterday, I’ll do whatever I can to repay you, including keeping you safe.” And again.

Another drink.

“Even if it takes me my whole life.”

Nik snorted out a laugh. “Don’t lie to me.”

MacCready’s face twisted in offense, his unchecked pride quickly deterring him from his goal to see things from her perspective. “I’m not lying.”

Nik lowered one foot to the floor and leaned forward. “Oh, so your whole life, really? Okay.” She shook her head as she smiled spitefully.

MacCready closed his legs and turned to face her. “I’m sorry, what did I do exactly to piss you off? Last I checked I’m not Hancock or that asshole from the Railroad.”

“What the fuck even is the Railroad?” she asked, throwing one arm upwards. MacCready took a deep breath, becoming impatient with her.

“I asked you first.”

“Not this time, MacCready,” she spat, whipping her head towards him with an intense glare as she held her jaw shut. He recoiled slightly as his mouth hung open. This combative nature of hers was all too familiar, familiar enough not to shake him from his defensiveness.

“Fine, we can try a different question. Why are you pissed off at me?”

Nik threw her head back and groaned loudly. “Oh, my god, MacCready, obviously, YOU didn’t piss me off! Fuck!” She lowered her head again and stared directly at him. “It’s the, fucking… ugh, it’s all of this!” She wedged the bottle between her thighs and held both of her hands out. “First, I get chewed on by a fucking feral and lose a day from radiation sickness.” She held one finger down with the opposite hand while MacCready began to back down. “Two, I learn that some fucking freak from some underground club has been following me for a month.” Two fingers. “Three, I can’t even be bothered to be happy for my closest friend because I’m too fucking jealous that he actually knows where the fuck his son is.” She brought a hand to the bottle and lifted it to her face while MacCready closed his eyes in regret, feeling a different brand of guilt than he was used to.

The anger that had accumulated within him quickly fizzled out, and he was, once again, left feeling the consequences of not working hard enough to see things from her point of view.

“Nik, I… shit, I’m sorry,” he said, raising his hand to his forehead. “I’m not trying to make this about me.”

Nik leaned back against the armrest and stared at him. The adrenaline from her rant was dissipating quickly as her eyes settled onto the familiarity of his face. 

“Not your best work.”

The two looked at each other finally, and MacCready couldn’t help but to smile. Nik closed her eyes and turned on the couch to lower both feet to the ground. Her elbows met her knees as she leaned forward, nervously rotating the bottle of vodka by its neck.

“For what it's worth, I’m really happy about Duncan,” she said, gut straining with nerves as she struggled to address the next variable plaguing her mind. 

“Thank you,” he replied, and in an instant, she let the words out.

“When are you going back?”

“What?”

“To the Capital. When are you going back?”

MacCready shifted nervously. “I, um… I don’t know.”

“But, you are going back, right?” she asked, turning her head to look at him. He craned his neck to the side as a sharp pain moved down his chest.

“I don’t know.”

“How could you not know?” she asked, genuinely confused by his lackluster responses. He simply shrugged.

“I… just, don’t know.”

“Duncan needs you, MacCready,” she said, turning away from him again, and lowering her head. “More than I do.”

MacCready felt a sudden and intense pressure within his chest. Just as suddenly, he spoke. “I can’t leave you here, Nik. I refuse.”

She sighed, and her shoulders curled inwards. “Don’t be stupid, Mac,”

“I’m not being stupid!” he said, standing from the couch and balling his hands into fists. He looked at her desperately, while she struggled to make eye contact with him. He shook his head as he began to pace. “It’s not as easy as you think it is, Nik, and I’m not just talking about how much it hurts me to think about never seeing you again.” He stopped, bringing his hand to his neck as he nervously turned to face her.

Nik stared at him now, her dark eyes widened in disbelief.

“But this is your son–”

“You think I don’t know that?” he said, voice laced with enough emotion to make him sound like he was both laughing and crying at the same time. Nik flinched involuntarily as her shoulders fell further. “If it was that easy I would’ve done it already. The Capital Wasteland is not like the Commonwealth, okay? I know it’s bad here, but,” he shook his head wildly. “The Capital is so much worse.”

She squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep breath before she spoke. “Is he even safe there?”

“Yes,” he replied, sounding exasperated. “Our farm is northeast of the city. When I left, I struck up a deal with some settlers nearby. I pay them every month, and they watch out for Duncan and his grandmother. Not the best kind of people I’ve ever met, but…” He paused, then took a step towards her, removing the bottle from her hand and taking a drink. She watched him through her hair as he continued. “Back when you and I first met, I didn’t take your job just because I was starving. I was two months behind with my payments and they were threatening to retract their protection. But because of those four-hundred caps, I was able to pay them off, and secure another month.”

Nik appeared confused as she registered his words. “And there’s no work down there?”

MacCready laughed. “Remember how I said the Brotherhood of Steel had set up shop?”

Nik closed her eyes in embarrassment, her faulty memory, once again, failing her. “Right.”

MacCready continued to pace as he took another drink. “I came here for the cure, and for work. Everything was going fine until I left the Gunners.” He stopped, then looked directly at her. “Then some wired redhead showed up and flipped everything on its head.”

Nik felt herself shrinking as she met her eyes with his. With the way he was looking at her, her heart began to pound.

“You have no idea how much you’ve done for me, Nik,” he said, shaking his head as if he still hadn’t come to terms with that idea himself. “To think I could leave you behind?” He furrowed his brows, appearing genuinely angry at the thought. “Until I see you as happy as you’ve made me, I’m not going anywhere.”

Nik’s bottom lip fell open as she took in a shaky breath.

“I can’t ask you to do that for me,” she said, chest beginning to heave as her words betrayed her body and soul. MacCready smirked and cocked his head to the side.

“I’m not looking for your permission, Hotshot.”

Nik pushed herself off of the couch with her arms, stumbling over her limp as she grabbed MacCready by his shoulders and pulled him into an embrace. MacCready dropped the bottle he was holding and put both hands on her back, spreading his fingers across its entirety as he graciously nuzzled his face into her shoulder. The two remained locked in that position for several minutes before MacCready lifted his head to speak.

“I won’t pretend to know everything that will happen. What I do know is I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I didn’t at least try to pay you back.”

Nik exhaled a shaky laugh riddled with nerves with nowhere to go. He felt her stomach against his as she did, and he brought his hand to the back of her neck.

“You and your fucking score keeping,” she said, turning her head on his shoulder slightly. She felt him chuckle softly into her hair as his lips crept dangerously close to the skin of her neck.

“You have no idea.”

With a gasp so slight he could barely hear it, Nik took a step back and looked towards the ground. MacCready quickly moved the hand that had been on her neck to his own as he followed her line of sight, noticing the now empty bottle of vodka on the floor.

"I, uh... I guess I really owe you a drink, now, huh?"

Chapter Text

With both hands raised in front of her chest, Nik pulled away.

“I’m so sorry, MacCready, I didn’t mean to…” she trailed off, nervously pulling at the bottom of her jacket before stuffing her fidgeting hands into her pockets. “I didn’t mean to do that!”

She continued to laugh exaggeratedly as she turned her body to the side, then back again. Her expression was uncontrolled as she struggled against her own incomplete movements like an addict going through withdrawals. 

Bewildered by the sudden shift of energy between them, the subtle smile on MacCready’s face slowly fell into a frown as he began to realize what was happening. 

“Hey, don’t apologize–”

“No, actually, I need to,” she cut him off, shutting her eyes as she stepped away from him further. “That was uncalled for and inappropriate, and I just need to stay over here, I think.” With another step back she removed her hands from her pockets and pointed towards the ground.

“Uncalled for?” he asked, the words barely emerging past the lump forming in his throat. He began to question whether or not she felt the other three times they hugged were also ‘uncalled for’. 

He didn’t like the way his question made him feel.

“Yeah, we’re business partners, right? I seriously need to learn to control myself when I’m upset, it’s entirely unprofessional, and it is unfair to you.”

His left eye twitched.

“I don’t see that as having anything to do with business,” he said, voice low with denial.

“Exactly! It shouldn’t be, and I shouldn’t be so weak, but I just keep…” She stopped, flexing her hands as she attempted to shake the panic overtaking her. When MacCready outstretched a hesitant arm towards her curling wrist, she moved away from him so quickly she nearly fell into the couch.

“Actually, now that I think about it, I should probably rest my leg, so why don’t we just meet in the lobby tomorrow before heading back to Sanctuary?”

MacCready lowered his hand in an empty surrender as his gaze moved from her face to the floor. He felt so unbearably exposed, having admitted he didn’t want to leave her behind, only to watch her pull away from him entirely as a result.

So much for ‘coming to terms’ with what he was feeling. 

He watched as she collected her bag from the floor, and decided to try one last time.

“Nik, I just wanted to let you know I cared, that’s all.” His voice remained low and reserved, as if making himself smaller would protect him from that familiar void slowly returning to his chest.

“Yeah, yeah, of course,” she stammered, pulling her bag over her shoulder. “I care about us helping each other, too, it’s only fair, you know? If we didn’t have some kind of transaction going, one of us would bail, am I right?”

MacCready took a deep breath and looked at her from beneath the brim of his hat. 

That was the most offensive thing she had said yet.

“Of course,” he lied, fully resigning as he accepted himself to be the absolute fool he was.

He searched for her eyes as she paused in front of him. When they managed to make eye contact, he knew he saw her underneath it all. Behind the wall she was placing between them, he could see that familiar intensity flashing within her irises, that charged look of strength and complexity, a layered proclamation of character only his best friend could have. 

And right there, directly in front of his face, she was choosing to bury it. 

Choosing to hide it all from him.

As quickly as she had pulled away, her eyes finally fell empty, as if no one had ever been there at all.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, MacCready,” she finished, nodding once as she left the room without waiting for him to reply. His jaw tightened as he breathed through his nose, eyes searching the room for an answer to this shift of events, and finding none. 

As he looked over his shoulder, she had already disappeared up the stairs, and the air surrounding him fell ice cold.

The door to Nik’s room at the Rexford slammed shut as she pushed her body into it. With a subtle growl she threw her bag onto the chair, then ripped her jacket off of her shoulders. She raised both hands to her head and gripped her hair, as if that would stop the auditory onslaught from returning to her psyche, which had simply been waiting in the shadows for her sense of security to falter once again.

How could you be so fucking stupid?!

What a useless bitch you are!

Pathetic.

She tensed her right hand before slamming it against the wall beside her.

“Congratu-fucking-lations, you win!” she screamed, to no one but herself.

Stomping into the bathroom, she looked into the mirror, and was greeted by a reflection she didn’t recognize. She placed both hands on either side of the sink, then began to teeter back and forth. She panted lightly as her head began to swim; the unwelcome physical counterpart to the returning voices.

“I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.”

Wasting time. Wasting time is what you’re doing.

Her eyes shut tightly as her hands continued to writhe against the cracked porcelain.

“I thought I was doing a good thing.”

She grit her teeth.

Yeah? What did it get you, besides that free-loading bastard thinking he can take even more from you?

She exhaled sharply as her head fell.

“He’s not like that.”

Could’ve fooled me. 

“He’s been kind to me.”

When kindness gets Shaun back, you let me know.

Nik’s hands fell from the sink as she turned into the wall, then slid down it until she was sitting on the floor. She felt a tightness in her throat as she leaned her head back, staring at the ceiling pitifully until tears began to fall down her face. 

“It’s not fair. He’s my friend. Why can’t I have a friend?”

Because you don’t deserve it.

“Please, I… I’m not a bad mother,” she cried, mouth stretched open in a silent wail as she clutched at her chest.

“I don’t want to do this anymore.”

Silence.

MacCready ignored the banging noise coming from the next room as he locked the door to his own, then moved towards the bed against the opposite wall. Absolutely deflated, he laid on his back without removing his jacket, and looked at the ceiling.

His mouth curled in distaste as he imagined himself savoring the way she felt in his arms. When he thought of the way her hair felt against his face, his heart ached.

Why did this hurt so badly?

You know why.

He pulled his hat from his head and threw it before pushing both palms into his eye sockets.

What a fucking fool. A pathetic, ugly, weak, sad excuse of a man.

A boy.

In a rapid moment of realization, he sat himself up and wiped his hand down his face, revealing a scowl.

It didn’t matter that someone he had grown to care for was pulling away. It didn’t matter that someone worth admiring decided he was nothing more than hired help. It didn’t matter that the person he didn’t want to leave behind when he went home to his son didn’t care that that was a struggle for him to consider in the first place.

MacCready shot up from the bed and began to pace.

Fine. 

Fine! If she wanted to deny his friendship and just use him for work, then… fine.

If she wanted to act like him being there for her throughout all of this didn’t mean enough for her to even consider sticking together, then so fucking be it.

He kicked the leg of the table in front of him repeatedly until a lamp on a nearby nightstand swayed and fell to the ground.

He returned to the bed with his head in his hands.

Whatever. If she wanted to distance herself from him, so be it. He’ll do the Glowing Sea job, endure a miserable walk to return the power armor to Sanctuary, collect his pay, and leave.

It was the sensible thing to do, especially after learning she clearly did not feel the same way about him that he did about her. At least he’d be able to secure more protection for Duncan and his grandmother before returning to Goodneighbor to wait for the next job. If it ever came. And if it did, he would be alone.

Alone. Again.

He didn’t want to be alone again. 

He didn’t want the nightmares to come back, like the void already had.

He imagined what it would look like to leave Sanctuary without her and it tore through his heart like a blade. 

He curled onto his side and pulled his limbs towards his torso, squeezing his eyes shut so tight his head began to ache. Placing his hands on his shoulders as he held himself, he tucked his chin into his chest and ignored the pressure burning behind his eyelids.

This is what his life was, and he needed to accept it.

He could only hope that he’d be able to see Duncan one more time.

Only after several hours of lonesome anguish did his body finally give in and allow him to rest.

Nik’s solemn expression made her appear as if she hadn’t slept at all as she made her way into the lobby. The early morning sun highlighted the dust in the air, and the idle chitchat between the hotel staff muffled the sound of the creaking staircase beneath her feet. 

She was not looking forward to today, but her personal feelings didn’t matter, especially when it came to her fear concerning the Glowing Sea. She didn’t have a choice, so she might as well accept it.

She felt her stomach lurch into her throat as she spotted MacCready sitting near the doors, back facing her. He was hunched over the table with a cup in his hands, though it was barely visible behind his wide sulking shoulders.

For the first time since they met, seeing him made her heart race.

Bag and rifle secured on her back, she dismissed the feeling and approached him, once again made keenly aware of her lack of choices.

“Ready to go?”

MacCready’s eyes shut and opened as he took a deep breath.

“Sure thing, Boss.”

“Here,” Nik said, reaching into her pocket for the twenty caps she had set aside before coming down. She lowered them onto the table in front of him, and he stared at the mass accumulating on the surface as his breathing quickened.

He knew exactly what she was doing. 

“For anything I may have missed over the past few days,” she said.

He stood, making no effort to regulate the anger on his face as he quickly shoved the caps in his pocket by way of three handfuls.

“Trying to make this feel more like a transaction?” he asked, though his tone barely suggested he was questioning anything. In tight movements he removed his hand from his pocket, turned, then yanked his rifle from the table. He paused and looked into her face, which, again, revealed absolutely nothing. With a huff, he turned and made his way to the door. With the same empty eyes, Nik followed.

On the way back to Sanctuary, the two spoke a total of zero words to one another. Any enemies they encountered were dealt with easily, their synchronized fighting styles assisting them in the shallow endeavor they both shared; not being the one to say something first.

“General, welcome back!” Preston said, waving from across the bridge. MacCready slowed his pace so as to not feel obligated to speak to either of them during their inevitable catch-up.

“Preston,” she acknowledged formally. MacCready noticed her tone and verbiage was slightly different around him and made no effort to stop his eyes from rolling.

“How did your emergency situation go?”

“Successful, thank you for asking.”

MacCready’s jaw tightened. To think he was practically over the moon two days ago, and now, that day was nothing more than a ‘successful mission’ to her. He felt like an idiot.

“Today, MacCready and I will be working on two suits of power armor, and then we’ll be making our way to the Glowing Sea. How are we looking on fusion cores?”

Preston took a deep breath as he subtly shook his head. “Well, somewhere around fifteen, I think. But Sturges and I have those set aside for fusion generators we’re looking to build, so we can take the others to some nearby settlements.”

Nik clicked her tongue. “I’ll find a way to replace what we use. I’m afraid it’s non-negotiable."

He seemed reluctant, but he nodded nonetheless. “You’ve been a woman of your word thus far, General. I suppose I have no reason to doubt you now. Is there anything we can do to help?”

“Is Sturges around? I’m savvy, but power armor is not my thing.”

“Could’ve fooled me, that was some display back in Concord,” Preston said, making MacCready’s blood boil as his own voice echoed in his mind.

“That was some display, Hotshot.”

Undeterred from the compliment, Nik stood expectantly while Preston cleared his throat.

“Sturges should be near the workshop.” 

Nik nodded politely while MacCready began walking to the armory in silence.

“Thank you, Preston. I’ll check in with you before we go.”

Nik and Sturges conversed in front of two suits of power armor while the chassis for another stood empty at a power armor station nearby. Preston insisted on collecting any and all power armor equipment they could find early on, and while she protested in the beginning, she was now grateful he hadn’t listened to her. As such, Sanctuary was now equipped with two full suits and a great assortment of extra parts to create more, and she sometimes wondered what would happen if the Brotherhood of Steel were to ever find out.

“Here’s what I’m thinkin’,” Sturges said, turning with his hands out as he motioned to the helmets of the suits. “Rad scrubbers, and a targeting display.” Nik nodded while MacCready wandered off to distract himself with the equipment lining the walls. Multiple workbenches, toolboxes overflowing with tools, bundles of metal and circuitry lying beside the shells of old fans, toasters, and rotary phones. He continued to take slow steps while he listened to the two talk.

“They work exactly like how they sound they would. The rad scrubber? Any radiation you take in will be filtered out. That only counts for what’s outside of you, though, so if you take it off and get infected, it ain’t gonna help you.”

“Right.”

“Now I’m assuming you ain’t ever seen the Glowing Sea before?”

“No.”

“You ever been stuck in a radstorm?”

Nik opened her mouth to speak, but the words failed to materialize as she noticed MacCready’s entire body tense in her peripheral vision. A heavy feeling of guilt moved through her bones as she finally shook her head ‘no’.

“Well, it can get real hazy out there, especially if it’s dark or stormin’. Imagine lookin’ through a big ol’, cloudy, green glass bottle. That’s what you’d be dealin’ with. Gonna be near impossible to see what’s out there ‘til it’s right on top of ya.”

“Okay. Fantastic,” she said, flashing an unenthusiastic grin.

“Well, that’s what the targeting system’s for. These old world blueprints are somethin’ else. My guess is it works by picking up either movement or heat signatures.”

“Would heat signatures even read in a place with that much radiation?” MacCready asked. Nik’s eyes jumped towards him as the sound of his voice- which she hadn’t heard in several hours- sent a nervous response throughout her entire body. She pretended to occupy herself with the power armor while Sturges twisted his face in thought.

“Uh… yeah, I suppose that’s a valid question. Whether they do or not, we’re gonna try and install ‘em anyway, and hope for the best.”

Nik pushed herself to look at MacCready, but he was already staring at a rifle on the wall. From across the room, she spotted that tuft of hair that curled out from beneath his hat and fell around his ear, then looked away.

Nik grumbled loudly as she stepped inside the same power armor suit from Concord; a fully intact t-45 model, rusted brown in color and structure but thoroughly reinforced to make up for it. As her limbs settled into the frame, it closed around her, and the sound of her rapid breathing sounded from the speakers of the helmet. 

Looking up at her was MacCready, already knowing she was having a hard time in there, but unwilling to do anything to comfort her after the events of last night. He turned away from her while ignoring every instinct he had, before removing his jacket and stepping into the second suit. A t-51 model, painted black entirely, and much easier to move around in than the t-45. Who had which suit was a deliberate decision made by Nik, but she did not care to point that out to him.

As the suit closed around him, he was eye-level with her again, and he blinked his eyes repeatedly as he adjusted his vision to the digital display beaming back at him.

A pointed metal finger moved in front of his face as Nik began to explain what the display meant.

“Three things; the status of your suit over here, the health of your fusion cores here, and how much radiation is making its way into the suit right here. It should read zero or less than one the entire time. If that ever changes, you tell me immediately. That’s what you need to pay attention to.” 

MacCready’s eyes darted back and forth as he acquainted himself with the different gauges. Nik shifted awkwardly as she attempted to grab her rifle from a nearby counter. She struggled to hold it in the metal hands at first, but slowly began to acclimate. MacCready decided to do the same thing, even though he was already doubting his effectiveness in combat while being trapped in the confines of steel and thermoplastics. He emptied the chamber of his rifle before attempting to get a feel for the trigger, then began to sweat slightly as he grew frustrated with how foreign it felt.

Before he could express any disdain, a hiss and a series of metallic clanks sounded beside him as Nik’s suit popped open. She jumped out of the back of it, wiping a bead of sweat from her brow. Discombobulated by all of the stimulation, MacCready dropped his rifle, sending a static “fuck” from the helmet as Nik turned around to pick it up. 

“I can get it myself,” he said, lifting and lowering his legs awkwardly. Without looking at him, she retrieved the gun from the ground and deposited it in his hands.

“We leave in about thirty minutes. I’m going to pack my suit with the extra fusion cores, and yours with aid. Do what you need to do,” she finished, turning to leave the armory. 

He dropped his gun again and mumbled a myriad of curses, then activated the lever beneath the torso of the armor, initiating the rapid countdown before it popped open on its own. He extended his arms outward as Sturges instructed him to do and waited, eager to feel the air on his body again.

These suits were definitely not as cool as his kid-self once thought they were.

After several long hours of walking, exasperated by needing to keep their movements slow in order to avoid several different classes of enemies, Nik was relieved to see a small dilapidated house occupied by three Minutemen just outside of what she gathered to be the edge of the Glowing Sea. MacCready lowered his gun after she told him who they were, while she dropped her own and approached them with her hands up.

“I’m Nik, General of the Minutemen,” she called out, voice skewed by the helmet. The soldiers approached hesitantly, laser muskets raised.

“Step out so we can see you, or we shoot. This site belongs to the Minutemen.”

“Fine,” she said, obeying their command. MacCready watched as she effortlessly dismounted from the leg brackets, as if she had done it several times before. Moving to gather her rifle from the ground, she wiped her forehead as she stood. “Once again, I’m the General,” she said, unable to regulate the irritation in her voice until she averted her eyes to the side and saw a woman on the edge of the three-person formation. “Oh, hey. You’re Alex, right?”

The woman lowered her musket hesitantly. “Yes?”

“I remember you, from Sanctuary. You decided to do field reconnaissance while the men cowered into the fields.” Nik extended her hand for her to shake. “It’s a pleasure to see you still out here.”

The woman smiled as she returned the gesture while the two men conversed under their breath. 

“Thanks,” said Alex.

Nik scanned the ground around her feet, noting multiple bodies.

“When were you attacked?”

“Just missed it,” one of the men said, turning back into the house with a scowl, clearly not impressed with Nik’s earlier comment. The woman stood at attention regardless.

“Yes, just a few minutes ago, General. Came barreling over the hill like a bunch of lunatics.”

“Typical Raiders,” Nik replied, settling her hands on her hips. 

“What can we help you with?” Alex asked, the dirt on her face not enough to diminish the bright energy she radiated.

“Well, we’re on our way to the Glowing Sea, so… just need a moment to sit and hydrate, if that’s alright?”

“Of course, please,” she started, nodding enthusiastically before gesturing towards MacCready. “Your partner gonna get out of that thing, then?” 

Nik turned to look at him.

“Need help, big guy?” she asked, bringing the woman to laugh. MacCready silently mocked her beneath the cover of the helmet before sending the suit open and climbing out of it carefully. The black long sleeve he was wearing clung to his frame with sweat, and Nik inhaled sharply before turning towards the house quickly.

“After you,” she said, gesturing for the woman to move. Alex looked MacCready up and down without reserve, and Nik pretended not to care.

As they crossed the threshold, Alex spoke.

“Whatever do you need to do in the Glowing Sea?”

“I’m afraid I can’t answer that,” Nik said, plopping herself onto a couch against a wall. “Don’t need any reason to put the Minutemen in danger.”

“Oh,” Alex said, seeming to trust her General’s words despite having a great desire to be informed. “Okay. Well, it’s right there, if those shattered trees outside didn’t give it away. I keep telling the guys we should move back north, but… you know how men can be.”

“Oh, do I,” Nik replied. In the same breath, MacCready walked inside, looking around the room as if unsure where to go. Nik struggled to move her eyes away from him, having never seen him without his jacket or hat while on the road. The back of his brown hair curled slightly while the top of it lay matted with sweat until he ran his fingers through it. His torso and arms were accentuated by the fabric stuck to his skin, which Alex must have noticed, because she approached him eagerly.

He looked at Nik for just a moment, only to be met by her dark eyes, before they both looked away.

“Can I get you anything? Water, pork and beans?”

“He’ll take a water,” Nik interjected, earning her another crossed look from MacCready.

“Sure, take a seat!” she said, gesturing towards another couch closer to the doorway, across from Nik. As he sat, he pinched the fabric at his chest and moved it up and down repeatedly as sweat reflected off of his skin. His long legs dominated the small space between them, and Nik turned her body entirely to avoid the sight.

Alex handed him a can of water as she sat beside him on the couch.

“What’s your name?” she asked, smiling sweetly. Whatever camaraderie Nik felt towards the woman was slowly falling away, and she was too distracted by her jealousy to notice. 

She wanted her to get away from him.

“Uh…” MacCready started, shifting further away from Alex awkwardly.

“He’s mute,” Nik suddenly said, leaning back confidently. “This whole walk from Sanctuary, he hasn’t said a word,” she finished with a tilt of the head. MacCready turned slowly to meet Nik’s eyes.

Interesting, he thought. A layered challenge that was only partially a lie. Sure, he hadn’t spoken the entire time, but that was still quite the ballsy falsehood to choose. Now, would he out Nik to be a liar and entertain the woman clearly trying to flirt with him? Or play along and hopefully deter the efforts of someone he wouldn’t so much as spare a second glance for in any other circumstance?

Personally, he was fighting between feeling amused and offended, but decided to let Nik ‘win’ this one regardless. 

He told himself he simply wasn’t in the mood to feign niceties with strangers, so, truly, he was the winner.

MacCready faced Alex with his lips drawn tight. 

“Oh,” Alex said, shifting awkwardly. “I’m sorry?”

“Don’t be, it’s peaceful, and he doesn’t mind, do you?” Nik continued, eyeing him carefully.

MacCready blinked slowly before shrugging his shoulders dramatically.

With a forced laugh, Alex stood from the couch and walked towards the doorway, clearly not interested in a man without a voice.

If you only knew, Nik thought.

“Well, if you need anything else before you go, please, let us know!”

Nik didn’t move her eyes from MacCready’s as she hollered back, “Thank you!”

An unwanted smile tugged at the corner of his lips before he forced an emotionless stare, attempting to let her know he was displeased with her interjection, which was but another partial lie. Nik narrowed her eyes as she lifted the can to her lips in an attempt to hide her face all together, her amusement betraying her dire need to be unmovable by him.

They remained in their silent stalemate for another ten minutes before Nik finished her water and stood to leave, striding past him smoothly, which was quite the feat, given the growing anxiety overtaking every quadrant of her body.

MacCready's eyes fell shut as soon as she left the small house.

Pretending not to care was exhausting him.

Nik and MacCready re-entered their suits respectively, then continued to walk south. The terrain of the edge of the Glowing Sea was hilly, hardened dirt mounds forged from the reverberations of the two-hundred year-old atomic impact. The two struggled to find steady footing on the uneven surface, made worse by the fallen chunks of splintered wood scattered everywhere.

Nik wanted to ask him if he had ever been in this area before, if he had ever gotten radiation sickness, if he knew what kind of creatures were privy to a landscape such as this one. Instead, she remained silent, feeling far too anxious and overwhelmed to even begin trying to navigate a conversation with him. 

She told herself the anxiety she was feeling was solely from being in unfamiliar, volatile territory, but she knew that wasn’t true.

MacCready kept himself two paces back, allowing him a better view of every angle surrounding Nik. He wondered when- not if- a horde of ghouls would appear, and if Nik knew of radscorpions and their predisposition to burrow themselves in the ground before sprouting from it with force in order to attack their prey ambush-style.

Like mole rats, he would have said. But she wasn’t speaking to him.

With a heavy groan, he followed Nik around a pool of mysterious irradiated liquid before finally biting the bullet.

“Have you ever dealt with radscorpions?”

Nik, taken aback by the sudden sound of his voice, stopped walking.

“Huh?”

“Radscorpions,” he repeated, voice louder this time. “Have you ever dealt with them?”

“No?”

He explained the large, six-legged creatures with stingers as big as their heads as quickly as he could, then waited for her to move again, ignoring the feeling of dread slowly crawling up his spine. He did not know how long they would have to walk before finding anything of note. What he did know is that they did not belong here, and it was only a matter of time before something terrifying reminded them of that fact.

What MacCready didn’t expect was for that reminder to come in the form of a base for the Children of Atom. Up to the point of spotting them from atop a large hill, they had managed to avoid a buried church crawling with ghouls and a cluster of radscorpions walking in circles within a valley they edged around.

And now, standing on the high edge of a massive crater, the two looked into its depths curiously.

“What the fuck is that?” Nik said, too dumbfounded to concern herself with her vow of silence. 

“A bunch of psychos, that’s what that is,” he replied, repeatedly looking over his shoulder while Nik considered what to do next.

“That much is obvious. I’m asking if they’re dangerous,” she said, clearly irritated. 

“Use your words, then,” MacCready quipped, uncharacteristically brazen due to their all-concealing outfits.

“Use my words?!” she barked, making him flinch.

“Relax, Nik,”

“Fuck you, don’t tell me to relax.”

“Yes, they can be dangerous, if you piss them off. If you don’t insult their precious deity, I’d imagine you’d be fine.” He spat out the explanation quickly, attempting damage control. But, he was who he was, and he couldn’t not be a smartass all the time.

“Deity?”

“Yeah, like, God?” he finished with a smile.

MacCready could hear the large breath she was taking, which was rather remarkable, given the constant disorienting hum of their environment. He wondered what her face looked like as he decided to be pleased with himself.

2-0.

“Keep playing your fucking games, MacCready,” she said, taking a half step closer to him. “If I recall correctly, I didn’t insult your intelligence while you were pissing your pants at Med-Tek.”

...

Nik regretted the words before they left her mouth. All she could hear was her breath slowly panting against the metal frame before her, and she began to silently beg him to say something.

When he spoke, his words didn’t release her from her shame.

“Radiation. They worship radiation.”

MacCready’s tone was scathing, even through the helmet’s speaker. Nik couldn’t bring herself to apologize.

“I’m going to try and ask them if they have any clue where Virgil is,” she said, waiting to see if he had anything else to add. He remained silent, and like him, she also couldn’t help but to imagine what his face must look like. Dismissing the awful feeling it brought her, she settled on his silence being the answer to her unspoken question.

‘Use your words.’ Sure.

Nik led MacCready down a wooden pathway that repeatedly split off towards varying sections of the compound. There were metal shacks of different sizes surrounding what she gathered to be ground zero for the nuclear explosion she saw with her own eyes so long ago. Being there was simply unreal, and it unsettled her greatly. 

Nik suppressed her worry as they passed a man on his knees with his arms raised. He was bald, and looked like one tug of his skin would pull it all straight off of his bones. Behind him stood the main building of the base, given away by its much larger size. A woman was posted at its entrance.

“Stop right there, stranger. You approach Atom’s holy ground,” said the woman. Her skin appeared tinted green while her thinning hair lay in scattered chunks all over her head. 

MacCready wasn’t kidding about their proclivities. How were these people still alive?

“Why are you here? State your purpose, or be divided in His sight,” the woman finished, flexing her fidgeting hands over an unfamiliar weapon attached to her hip.

“I need help,” Nik started, already unsure of which angle to take with the cultist. Before she could continue, the woman interrupted her.

“Do you seek division?” The woman’s eyes flashed open in excitement as Nik turned her head slightly, clearly wary. MacCready remained a few steps behind her, ready to engage if the conversation turned south. “Have you come to merge with Atom to be split in His infinite glory? Or do you seek to tear down His followers?”

Nik shook her head in exaggeration as she decided on her angle. “Though I am most fortunate to be in the presence of such devotees, I fear I have to address matters of a much simpler kind. I am looking for someone named Virgil, have you heard of him?”

The woman raised her chin to Nik, clearly relishing in her compliment. “Virgil. Yes, we know this Virgil. What do you want with him?”

Nik’s tone returned to normal as she stuttered out, “I, uh…” She cleared her throat. “I must speak with him. It is of utmost importance.”

The woman narrowed her eyes, clearly unimpressed.

“He has sought refuge with Atom. I would need to know more before I tell you where he is. Now, what do you want with him?”

MacCready took a step forward, metal hands closed firmly around his rifle as he said,

“We need to ask him about the Institute.”

Nik whipped herself around, a flood of panic overtaking her as she looked at MacCready with widened eyes. How could he say that so nonchalantly to a total stranger, let alone one as bugged-out as her?

To Nik’s surprise, when she turned back, she didn’t have that strange gun pointed at her face. Instead, the woman had her head tilted and was swaying slightly as she spoke.

“I have heard of this Institute. They hide themselves, trying to avoid the power of Atom. A futile effort.” She smiled to herself, as if basking in a sense of superiority, before her face suddenly fell serious. “In truth, this Virgil has caused some concern; his presence is an affront to Atom, and though he came to trade with us on a few occasions, we have had little contact with him. It was quite clear he wanted to be left alone.”

“We desire to draw him out. As you said, he cannot be here.”

The woman’s eyes fluttered open.

“Mm. That, I never said. I simply said his presence was an affront to Atom.”

Fuck.

“Would… wouldn’t that mean you’d prefer for him to be gone, then?”

“If he refuses to be divided while relishing in the benefits of His creation, then yes, we would surely benefit from such an arrangement. It would undoubtedly settle the nerves of several of His children.”

“Let us help you, then. Tell us where he is, and we will plead yours and Atom’s case to him.”

“You do not speak for Atom!” she screamed, taking a step backwards and clutching her chest as if she were suffering a heart attack. MacCready stomped past Nik with his rifle raised, but was stopped when she grabbed his shoulder and yanked him back. She then dropped herself to her knees.

“I apologize, I did not mean to speak out of turn, I swear to you,” Nik yelled out, metal hands sprawled ahead of her. The internal frame of the power armor dug into her body uncomfortably in such a position, but she remained still. “I plead for your forgiveness, I repent in His name! Please, allow me to know what you know, so I may help us both. Please!”

The woman stood straight again, hand still on her chest. Whatever exasperation she was feigning before was completely gone as she appeared to be pleased by Nik’s begging.

“Mm, that is enough. Stand.”

Nik repressed a pained grunt as she awkwardly pushed herself up from the ground. She could’ve sworn she heard MacCready laughing, but couldn’t be sure if she was simply imagining what she knew his response to her little act would be. 

After a silent, eerie moment, the woman finally spoke.

“You can find him southwest of the crater, living in a cave. I would approach cautiously, were I you. I feel he does not want visitors, but I implore you to return successful in your efforts.”

“Thank you,” Nik said, bowing once before quickly turning back. MacCready watched her as she rushed up the walkways. As they reached the top of the hill, he let out a loud snort.

“‘Utmost importance?’” he said, laughing hard, and not caring what her response would be. Nik sighed in embarrassment as they moved south and began to scale the crater.

“What the fuck was I supposed to say?”

“I don’t know, how about, ‘tell me where he is or I’ll put a bullet in your head’?”

“Okay, yeah,” Nik said, gesturing her hands in a large circle in an attempt to point out the several cultists lining the crater. “So we could be attacked on all sides by radiation-enforced freaks? Good idea, MacCready.”

He laughed again. “Whatever makes you feel better, Shakespeare.”

Nik wasn’t satisfied. “They’re clearly fucking delusional, MacCready. If you feed a delusional person praises, they’ll give you practically anything you want.”

“Eh, too convoluted for me. Though the begging on the knees was a nice touch,” he said, pushing himself upwards with his legs as they crested the steepest part of the crater walls. Nik reluctantly took his hand as he hoisted her upwards.

“Shut the fuck up, MacCready,” she said, exhaling as she found her footing.

“Oh, I haven’t heard that one in a while!” he said, voice laced with sarcasm so animated it took her off guard.

Before she could reply, a loud buzzing sounded from behind them, and MacCready whipped himself around to be met by two stingwings already in their curled attacking positions, ready to eject their venom. He scrambled to lift his rifle while Nik quickly grabbed one of the insects in her metal hand and squeezed until it exploded in a cloud of yellowish-green gore. MacCready fired his rifle at the other and missed as it dispensed its venomous attack, covering the eyes of his helmet in opaque yellow liquid, effectively blinding him. 

Nik sprayed her rifle haphazardly, her usual centered behavior in combat compromised by her and MacCready’s bickering. While none of the bullets hit its body, one managed to shred one of its wings, sending the creature to the ground in a spiral. Nik moved forward to stomp on it while MacCready began to whine.

“I can’t see anything!” he said, attempting to wipe the substance from the helmet and only managing to draw sharp lines through the venom instead. Nik attempted to use the arm of her suit to wipe it clean, but was met with the same results.

Looking forward again through the hazy air, her eyes fell on another large, rocky formation about half of a mile ahead of them. She quickly grabbed MacCready’s hand and pulled him forward.

“I think I see caves,” she said, one hand holding her rifle and the other guiding MacCready’s body around and through hills and valleys.

“Considering I grew up in one, I could probably tell you if it was. Too bad I can’t see, though.”

“You did it to yourself MacCready, if you weren’t so busy trying to get the one-up on me we would’ve been able to hear those things before they got close.”

MacCready’s body stumbled into Nik’s as she suddenly stopped.

“Be quiet,” she hissed, still holding his hand. MacCready began to panic, unable to see. The venom seemed to be drying and cracking against the glass, but that still wasn’t enough to enlighten him to what it was Nik had just seen.

He remained frozen in fear as he waited for her to speak.

“Deathclaw,” she said, squeezing his hand tightly. “Slow and steady. We’re sneaking by.”

MacCready’s heart began to pound so hard he could feel it in his ears. Not being able to shoot was one thing, but not even being able to see his death before it happened was a new kind of fear he found absolutely repulsive. 

MacCready turned his head until a faint red outline flickered on the digital display in front of him. Judging by the size of the outline, they were still quite a ways away from the creature. The Deathclaw stood upright before curling its body backwards, letting out a primal roar so intense it shook the ground they walked on. 

As he felt a tug on his arm he began to walk, keeping his helmet trained on the red outline. The reading showed intermittently as they passed through more valleys, which obstructed the scope of the targeting display. He was repeatedly thrown in and out of panic each time, expecting the red lines to grow in size the next time it appeared.

“Oh, fuck,” Nik said, yanking on MacCready’s arm. “Run!”

Without hesitation he obeyed, allowing Nik to guide him while the sound of a large galloping noise grew in intensity behind them. 

“I see a cave entrance! Stay right behind me!” she yelled, somehow moving faster than before despite still locking hands with him. He did his best to situate himself directly behind her, mentally preparing to crash into a rocky wall at any moment, which was exactly what happened.

Nik grabbed his suit with hers, with both arms, attempting to steady him while also pulling him further into the cave. The Deathclaw crashed against the outside of the cave entrance, its body far too large to enter the hole they came through.

Nik continued moving backwards with MacCready, both panting wildly, when the sudden sound of can chimes rattled behind them. She whipped around in a panic, only to be met by a super mutant standing directly in front of her. Before she could scream, it was speaking to her. 

“Hold it. Take it nice and slow. No sudden moves. I know you’re from the Institute. So where’s Kellogg, huh? Trying to sneak up on me? It’s not going to work. I’m not stupid. I knew they’d send him after me,” he spoke quickly, voice riddled with the nerves of a man who was watching his own personal conspiracy be proven true in real time.

“It’s just me and my partner, here. We’re just here to talk!” Nik said, easily concluding the super mutant was the man she was looking for. MacCready still couldn’t see, but he could hear she sounded terrified. Apparently they had found Virgil, and judging by the tone of Nik’s voice, he was threatening her with a weapon.

“I don’t even know who you are. For all I know, Kellogg is hiding in that suit right behind you.”

MacCready quickly ejected himself from the suit, landing on unstable legs as he fell backwards a few paces. In haste, he grabbed his gun from the ground and whipped around, only to stumble backwards again in terror.

“You… you’re not Kellogg,” Virgil said, while MacCready lifted his rifle on instinct, the sight of Virgil clearly not being what he expected. Nik took a panicked step in between them.

“Neither of us are, just listen to me!” she yelled, standing straight and ejecting herself from her suit. When she met the ground, she didn’t reach for her rifle. “I need your help–”

“My help? With what? How did you even find me anyway?”

“I’m just looking for information on the Institute,” she said, lowering her voice in an attempt to deescalate. Virgil was not convinced.

“So they did send you, didn’t they? You’re working with Kellogg!”

“Relax!” Nik screamed, sending an echo throughout the cave. “Kellogg is dead!”

Virgil paused as his green face twisted with shock and disbelief. Behind the small eyeglasses perched on his large nose were his eyes, blinking rapidly.

“Dead? He’s dead? Don’t you lie to me!”

“I’m not lying,” Nik said, practically pleading now. “I killed him myself.”

“Did you? How?”

Virgil seemed to be calming slightly, and Nik immediately looked towards MacCready to check on him. He had tucked half of his body behind his suit and had his rifle raised. A steady stream of blood was trickling down the side of his head, but aside from that, he appeared the same as usual. Nik gestured for him to lower his gun, and he reluctantly obeyed.

“He got lazy, and I was able to track him down,” Nik said, returning her attention to the man trapped in a super mutant’s body, which was clothed in torn fabrics and plastic, body far too large to fit into whatever he was wearing before. “You’ll be happy to know I effectively bludgeoned him to death.”

“My…” Virgil started, noticeably relaxing. “Kellogg was ruthless. There’s a reason the Institute used him to do their dirty work for so many years. I’m… quite impressed. So… if he’s already dead, what do you want with me?”

“I need to get in there,” Nik said, taking a step forward. MacCready emerged from behind his suit and watched her carefully, still anticipating Virgil to lose the last of his human senses and succumb to his dumb, lethal predisposition at any moment.

“You want to get into the Institute? Are you insane?” Virgil said, voice raising again. MacCready stepped forward with a snarl on his face and Virgil flinched away from him. Nik raised her arm in front of MacCready and pushed him back.

“Enough. We’re all just talking,” she said, looking at them both before settling on Virgil. “There’s no need for violence, here. Right, Virgil?”

“How do you know my name?” he asked hesitantly, as if he were afraid of the answer.

“I looked into Kellogg’s memories. Long story. You were right, they were sending Kellogg after you. You were his next assignment. I killed him before he could get to you. How about a little gratitude, huh?” she finished, lowering her arms and tilting her head. She felt herself starting to get her edge back, now that the latest mission on her to-do list was completed. She made it to the Glowing Sea, she found Virgil, and she was still alive.

How’s that for Miss Pathetic Little Vault Dweller?

Virgil let out a huff before turning around and moving towards a large wooden pallet covered with several tires. He sat down on them, and a loud creaking noise rattled against the walls surrounding them. “Nevermind how nearly impossible it is to get into the Institute, even if you were to succeed, it would most certainly end in your immediate death. What reason could you possibly have for taking that kind of risk?”

Nik took another step towards him, feeling the gravity of her situation more intimately again as she spoke on it out loud.

“I’m trying to find my son. The Institute kidnapped him.”

Virgil lowered his head knowingly. “Oh… oh, no. I had no idea. I’m sorry. Yes, the Institute has taken people from the Commonwealth in the past. If your son is one of them, I can understand why you’d want to get in there.” He paused, then looked at her again. “I can help, but I’m going to need something in return.”

“Of course you do,” Nik said, smiling spitefully. Her attention fell on MacCready for a moment, and she found him wiping the eyes of his helmet clean with the sleeve of his shirt. She turned back to Virgil. “What do you want from me?”

“Before I had to escape, I was working on a serum that would serve as a cure for my… condition. I wasn’t able to bring it with me. It’s still in my lab. And, well… look at me,” he said, seemingly begging as his deep voice cracked with emotion. Nik hadn’t considered the horror of what it must be like to morph into a super mutant until this moment, given every other super mutant she had encountered was blinded by orders to steal, eat, and kill. Seeing Virgil educated her perspective, and it made her heart ache; he was but another human casualty of mankind’s greed.

Virgil continued. “I need it. I need you to find it for me if you manage to get inside. What do you say?”

Nik sighed, unable to squash her sympathy. “You help me, I’ll help you.”

“Alright… alright. Let’s talk details. First things first, you know how synths get in and out of the Institute?”

“Teleportation,” she answered, crossing her arms.

“Well, well. Not many know about it. Pretty closely guarded secret. You’ve certainly done your homework. It’s commonly referred to as the molecular relay. I don’t understand all the science behind it, but it works; dematerializes you in one place, rematerializes you in another. I’m sure it sounds crazy, but it’s a reality.”

The memory of Shaun leaving Diamond City with that strange man entered her mind in a startling flash of white and blue.

“I know it is. I’ve seen it.”

“Have you now? Well, that relay is the only way in and out of the Institute, you understand? Means you’re going to have to use it. Now. Have you ever seen an Institute courser?”

“Um… I don’t know,” Nik said nonchalantly, mentally preparing for whatever her next impossible quest was.

“Another Institute secret. They’re synths, specifically designed to be hunters. Operations go wrong, a synth goes missing, a courser is dispatched. They’re very good at what they do, and you’re going to have to kill one.”

“Why, are they embedded with some kind of homing chip?”

“Well… more or less, yes. How did you…? Nevermind. Every courser is equipped with a special hardware that gives them a constant connection to the relay in the Institute. It’s embedded in a chip in their heads, like you said. You need that chip. I don’t know exactly where to find a courser, but I can tell you how to hunt one down.”

“I’d appreciate it,” she said, beginning to fidget nervously at the thought of more violent encounters with an unfamiliar threat.

She considered that memory again; was the man that relayed Shaun to the Institute a courser? He had to be. That explained his inhuman tone of voice and ridiculous trenchcoat.

“The primary insertion point for coursers is in the ruins of CIT, directly above the Institute, so you’ll want to head there first.”

“The… the Institute is below CIT?” she asked, eyes wide with emotion as her chest began to heave. For the first time in over a month, she had the slightest idea where her baby was. Before the emotions of the revelation could sweep her away, Virgil continued to talk.

“Yes. Now, the relay causes some pretty heavy interference all across the FM spectrum. You got a radio?”

“I th–”

“If not, find one. When you get to the ruins, tune it to the lower end of the band and listen in. You’ll be able to hear the interference. Follow the signal, and it’ll lead you to a courser. Then you just have to… not get killed.”

Nik blinked. “What do I do with the chip once I get it?”

“Well… I would say bring it to me, but, I have limited resources here. There was only so much I could manage to grab before I…”

“I understand,” Nik replied, sighing heavily. “I think I might know where to go.”

 Virgil nodded once. “Just, be careful. I can imagine this mission of yours, or the information surrounding it itself, could possibly jeopardize whoever you choose to get involved. Consider a more… private source, for lack of a better term.”

Nik inhaled sharply as she thought of MacCready. Just like that, her paranoia was confirmed; she didn't have to worry about putting him in danger. She already had, the moment she hired him.

She dismissed the thought with a quick shake of the head, then nodded thoughtfully, her mind quickly considering the Railroad before Virgil spoke again.

“Remember what I said about the serum. I need it. Badly.”

“I will do what I can. I suppose it’s the least I could do, since you decided to talk to me instead of killing us when we barged in,” she said, eyeing the protectron that had been posted in a corner of the cave the entire time. “Can you tell me anything about where it is within the Institute?”

“The Bioscience wing. That’s where I was working. You’ll know you’re close once you begin to reach rooms that look nothing like the rest of them.”

Nik cocked an eyebrow, curious as to what he meant by that. Before she could inquire further, Virgil stood, dominating the space once again. “I… I really do hope you find what you’re looking for.”

Virgil seemed to look the two over, both appearing worn out and overwhelmed from what he should have easily assumed was an eventful journey to his hiding spot. 

“Been a while since I’ve spoken to anyone… normal. Feel free to take a moment before you leave. My protection is programmed to fire at thieves, so. Do with that what you will.”

“Thanks, Virgil,” she said with a smirk, then looked around for a place to rest. 

Sitting on the ground against the cave wall was MacCready, arms on top of his raised knees, head tilted backwards with his eyes closed. She noticed the blood on his face again and sighed, moving to the storage compartment of his suit to retrieve a rag, bandage, and some alcohol.

“Don’t bother,” he said from beneath her, eyes barely open as she held the supplies in her hands. “I don’t want to have to pay you for it.”

Nik rolled her eyes and shook her head as she sat beside him.

“How’s your vision?” she asked, gauging whether or not he was concussed as she dabbed the rag with alcohol.

“Fine,” he replied, unmoving. “Ricocheted myself a little when I hit the wall. I’m fine.”

Nik raised the rag to his head and began to clean the blood away. The only sound in the cave was Virgil pressing on the keys of a terminal– occasionally interrupted by grunts of frustration– and the protectron making slow steps back and forth within the center of the room. 

MacCready’s slow breathing was audible given how close to him she was, and she had a hard time ignoring it.

Nik applied more alcohol to the rag before moving to the wound near his hair line. He winced, hissing through his teeth lightly as his eyes closed again. She raised a tentative hand to his chin to steady him as she examined the size of the gash. His lips faintly parted at her touch before he quickly sealed them shut, while she felt that kind of rush of adrenaline one gets when they do something they’re not supposed to.

“It’s small. Should close up on its own,” she said, plastering a small adhesive bandage to the wound. MacCready sighed as her hands fell away.

“Great. How much do I owe you?”

Nik held her eyes shut for a moment before she stood, returning the supplies to storage. Removing two cans of water, she lowered one beside MacCready while moving to the other end of the cave to sit and drink her own.

As she stared at the rocky ceiling, she thought to herself.

Courser. CIT. Radio.

Chip from the head. She’s done that before.

Take it to Amari? Find the Railroad?

Should’ve brought my journal.

Maybe MacCready will remember.

If MacCready stays.

MacCready.

She sighed deeply before pulling her gaze downwards and forced herself to look at him. His eyes were still closed, open can of water sitting loosely in his hand, legs crossed as his bandaged head hung low. She recalled how he sat in a similar position at the top of the monument, and how kind he was to follow her up such an absurdly tall building, just to see if she was okay. How he put his needs on hold to buy her something to eat, only to end up giving her the exact kind of comfort she needed after opening up to him about the worst day of her ‘before-times’ life.

Just as quickly, she felt the warmth of his breath on her neck and she exhaled sharply, quickly turning her head towards the super mutant in the corner of the room to remind her of her situation. 

The contrast between reality and daydream was stark, and it immediately pulled her back down to earth.

She was being selfish, and there would be more than one soul to suffer for it.

It didn’t matter if she wanted MacCready. It didn’t matter if, in that moment in the Third Rail, she wanted to sink into his arms and stay there forever.

It didn’t matter if she wanted to know his first name, or wanted to meet Duncan, or wanted to share vodka from the same bottle while they read together.

It didn’t matter if she wanted to smell him, or touch him…

It didn’t matter.

It didn’t matter, because it distracted her. It distracted her from rescuing her son.

It didn’t matter, because it put MacCready in danger. It was only a matter of time before he got hurt because of her, just like everyone else had.

If it happened to him, a friend she hadn’t felt such a kinship to since Mary… she was almost certain she would destroy the remainder of what the bombs missed.

She couldn’t risk it. He was too precious to her.

Not for her, when she so clearly wasn’t worth it.

He was thoughtful, smart, compassionate, quick-witted and hilarious. Skilled with a gun. Tall, fit, and absurdly easy on the eyes. Chiseled jaw, sharp nose, soft brown hair and profound green eyes.

He would find someone worthy of his energy. It could never be her, and she had to accept it.

On the other side of the cave, MacCready breathed slowly, repeating songs from the radio in his head to distract himself from the tangible, overbearing sorrow slowly swallowing him whole.

He didn’t want to be alone.

There, in that cave, forcing himself to pretend he didn’t feel her eyes on him, he might as well have been.

Chapter Text

The edge of the sun barely peeked over the horizon, softly illuminating the grey sky above it as the early morning birds made their rounds amongst the trees surrounding the north end of Sanctuary. Interrupting the stillness within the settlement was Nik and MacCready, pulling themselves into the armory, limbs as heavy as stone. They moved in exhausted steps, their backs and legs burning in discomfort born from a particular muscular exertion unique to operating the power armor suits.

Nik gripped a handle placed near the shoulder of the suit and slowly lowered herself to her feet, legs trembling and unstable. MacCready simply fell out, landing on his side with a hard thud.

“Shit, are you okay?” Nik asked, nearly falling over as she rushed to his side.

MacCready’s eyelids hung low, and his forehead showed deep creases.

“I’m fine,” he said, moving his hands to the ground. She grabbed his upper arm to pull him up, trembling as she did so.

“We should’ve stopped in with the Minutemen at that house,” she said.

His lower lip hung open, exhaustion far too great to even hold a steady face.

“It’s fine.”

Nik scanned his face as she moved him to a nearby chair.

“Feels good to sit on my ass,” he mumbled, shutting his eyes as he propped his elbows onto his knees. She stared at the bandage on his hairline and stretched backwards to crack her back.

“How’s your head?”

“What about it?”

“You hit it pretty hard… are you nauseous at all? Dizzy?”

“No. Just exhausted,” he grumbled, voice low and textured. Nik sat on a couch beside the chair and forced herself to take three deep breaths.

“You should be safe, then,” she finally said. MacCready gave her an odd look from the side, which she took to be, if nothing else, apprehension. “Symptoms of a brain bleed,” she specified.

He nodded once, and closed his eyes again.

“I think you should sleep for as long as you can. Shower when you wake up. Then we go from there.”

We. 

Again, with the question of we.

He was, again, too tired to fight the nagging thought, so he grasped for control in the one way his non-combative state could find.

“The beds are above the common hall, right?”

She paused, and the mental image of him on her couch faded away.

“Well… yes,” she said, unaware her face showed clear disappointment. 

In her weakened state, the walls she built around her mind had fallen; she found herself concerned with his well-being first and foremost, and had almost entirely forgotten about their incessant back-and-forth that acted as a lingering backdrop to the entirety of the past day’s events. 

And now, sitting beside him in the safety of Sanctuary, body nearly entirely limp from exhaustion and her clothing stuck to her skin with sweat, she found herself stupidly looking to him for any reassurance he could offer about their current standing. When all he could manage to do was glare at her, the stony look in his eyes reminded her of everything that came before the quiet and still morning they found themselves in.

Disconnect, anxiety, frustration, and shame, most of all.

To counter her shame, she offered her gratitude, something she struggled not to do in the wrong places.

“I… um… thank you, for helping me out there. I really appreciate it.”

He began to take a deep breath, and the discomfort she felt radiating from him gnawed at her gut.

“I said I would,” he replied as he exhaled, wanting nothing more than to find a hole to crawl into and sleep in for days, completely unaware of the war Nik was waging against herself.

“Take this with you, at least,” she said, standing up and moving towards the power armor he had been wearing to access its storage. She removed a can of water and extended it towards him, and he grabbed it as if it were a chore to do so. She sighed, and felt her resolve crash completely. “Find me tomorrow for your payment.”

“Okay,” he said, weakly standing from the chair before pathetically shuffling out of the side door of the armory to the common hall just beside it. Nik eyed the power armor again, and decided to deal with its contents later. Right now, all she wanted to do was escape from her thoughts and sleep.

~

MacCready’s eyes remained closed as the commotion of Sanctuary sounded around him from every direction. Below were folks eating and chatting. To the north were the fields, where multiple metal tools struck the ground repeatedly. To the west was a cluster of large generators, and to the east, someone must have found a hammer to bang against a wall over and over again.

He had figured Nik put up the metal walls around her house for secrecy, but maybe it was to help block out the noise.

Unable to cope with the discomfort of laying on a mattress too short for his legs in clothing infused with yesterday’s sweat, exaggerated by the barrage of various noises, he dragged himself out of bed and down the stairs.

People stared as he walked through the settlement’s center towards the bathhouse, and it was nauseating. Settlers seemed to glare at him, perhaps feeling cheated that he got to stay there and use their resources without contributing to their procurement at all.

Whatever, he thought. He wouldn’t be around much longer anyway, surely.

The cold of the water made his joints hurt, but he remained still until it ran out, not giving a damn about whoever needed the showers after him. 

He didn’t feel like looking for her when he was done. In fact, he felt empty. So he sat in the common hall, holding an old pen over yellow-tinted paper. He thought to himself for a moment, before scribbling the only words he could think of.

Hi, Duncan.

I think about you every day.

He stared at the words, unable to form another thought worth noting. He sighed.

Hi, Duncan.

I think about you every day.

Hi, Duncan.

The pen he was holding met the table with a loud slap, and he reclined in the booth and looked out of a hole in the wall.

Pathetic.

His head seemed to spasm as he returned his attention forward, eyes falling on a set of shelves lined with books, magazines, and comics. He saw an issue of Grognak, and somehow felt the weight of a small plastic coin against his chest.

He just misread things, obviously. 

He decided to keep telling himself that until he believed it. Besides, it wasn’t the end of the world… nevermind the irony.

He felt tempted to return the coin, but didn’t want to deal with whatever conversation would follow that, if one would happen at all.

It didn’t matter anymore, clearly. Besides, he had Duncan to worry about, amongst other less prevalent things.

Speaking of which, he had a payment to collect.

~

“I took your advice. Asked Marcy to come with me to Starlight.” Preston said, sitting on Nik’s couch in her living room. She sat beside him, one leg curled on the couch with a beer in one hand and a cigarette in the other. Through a slight crack in the ceiling, she could tell the sun was touching the horizon again as it began to set. The two continued to discuss Minutemen operations.

“Oh yeah? How did that go?” she asked, flicking the cigarette into an ashtray on the table.

“Unpleasant. To say the least,” he said, and she smirked. “But she had one hell of a time cutting down some super mutants.”

Nik’s eyes widened. “Oh? There’s super mutants near Starlight?”

Preston cocked an eyebrow. “Yes? I told you that. It was the reason we were concerned about defenses. Remember?”

She shook her head in embarrassment. “Right, right, I… I’m sorry, there’s been a lot going on.”

“Of course, General. I understand. Speaking of which…”

“The Glowing Sea was somewhat of a success,” she cut him off, eager to share the details of her adventure and discoveries.

“That’s not what I was going to ask, but…”

“Oh.” She paused, taken aback. “What were you going to ask?”

“Well… where’s your, uh, hired gun?”

“Ah… um,” she started, stretching her neck to look out the window, only to be met with the sight of a metal wall. She deflated. “I don’t know. He’s somewhere around here.”

He hummed in reply, and Nik couldn’t tell if he was prying or not. To eliminate that variable, she diverted the conversation.

“We, um… Well, I met up with an ex-Institute scientist, to ask if he knew of any way in.”

“You did? Wow. That’s what was in the Glowing Sea?” Preston emoted genuinely, eyes wide with interest and attention. Nik nodded enthusiastically.

“Yeah. Not only that, he’s a super mutant, but has somehow maintained all of his faculties. Well… I could talk to him, at least. Told me how to get into the Institute.”

He nodded his head. “Wow. That’s a significant development. Am I allowed to know?”

Nik laughed, and took a drink. “Of course you would be, Preston. Is it not the Minutemen’s goal to eliminate the Institute threat?”

“Well, yes, I just… Sorry, General, I just don’t want to overstep by any means.”

Preston’s tone and face were soft and understanding, and she couldn’t help but to picture how cold and distant MacCready had been since that night at the Third Rail. The intrusive thought made her twitch.

“No, uh… not at all. If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t be here at all, so…” she said, then leaned forward slightly and lowered her voice. “Teleportation”

“How…” he started, before exhaling a tilted chuckle. “Well then. I’m glad to know a force so close to home has been able to master such advanced technology while the rest of us struggle for daily necessities.”

“I know… it’s… I don’t even want to get started on the philosophy of it all. I’ll end up fucking spiralling–” 

“You and me, both!”

The two laughed as Nik moved closer again.

“Speaking of close to home, you should also know, the Institute is located beneath the ruins of C.I.T.”

Preston’s body went still.

“Wait. You’re serious?”

Nik nodded slowly. “Yeah. All this time, and it’s been right, there. I can’t count how many times I, well, we, have passed it,” she said, waving a hand between her and him.

“And this… Virgil, guy… he said the only way in is by teleportation?” he asked, and Nik nodded in reply. “Wow. I can’t imagine what kind of infrastructure they must be operating in in order to be completely impenetrable from the outside. It’s almost hard to believe.”

“I’m skeptical about it, too, but… with the state Virgil is in, I don’t believe he’d have any reason to lie to me. And if there is some other way, his background as a bioscientist didn’t make him privy to that information.”

The two paused for a moment, lost in thought, before Preston spoke again.

“So, what’s your next step?”

After an excessive sigh, she answered. “I have to hunt down something called a ‘courser’, which is, essentially, an advanced synth, or something. Pull a chip from its head like I did with Kellogg. After that, I have to somehow figure out who to take it to so its contents can be decoded and hopefully, uh… help me, somehow, I don’t know, Preston, this shit is way too advanced for me.”

“Hey, don’t look at me, I’m wearing getup from the 18th century.”

Nik threw her head back in a loud laugh, only to choke on it when she saw MacCready standing in the doorway.

“Oh, um…” Nik said, lowering her leg to the floor and clearing her throat. “Hey.”

Preston turned his head before politely nodding it once, which MacCready didn’t acknowledge as he flatly replied, “Hey.”

“I was just telling Preston what happened at the Glowing Sea,” she said, offering context MacCready wasn’t asking for.

“Okay?” he replied.

Preston looked at Nik now, expression curious. She replaced the awkward silence with her voice.

“It was weird, wasn’t it? Having a conversation with a super mutant.”

MacCready didn’t move as he replied, “You did all the talking.”

She leaned forward sharply to put out her cigarette and hide her face. Noting the atmosphere, Preston stepped in.

“How did Sturges’s modifications work out for you?”

MacCready turned his head slightly with a smug look on his face. “I’m standing here now, aren’t I?”

Preston looked away dismissively, clearly not interested in offering any more niceties, while Nik shot MacCready a crossed look. His expression remained unimpressed, and Nik moved to stand.

“If you’ll just, give me a moment, Preston.”

She rounded the end of the couch and led MacCready out the front door, closing it behind her.

“What is your problem?” she said through her teeth.

“Problem? I don’t have a problem,” he replied, expression slightly amused now.

“Mhm.” She returned a knowing smile of her own. “Sure. What is going on?”

“Was just wondering when you were gonna pay me, is all,” he said, stuffing his hands in his pockets. Nik’s face fell flat.

“Right. Let me get that for you.” She entered her house again and reemerged a minute later with a small fabric sack in her hand. He took it, appearing unimpressed with its size. “There. One-hundred caps.”

“That’s it?”

She tilted her head and curled her lip. “What the fuck do you mean ‘that’s it’?”

“Seems kind of small,” he said, patting the bottom of the sack repeatedly. Nik scoffed.

“What, did you expect another four-hundred?”

“Maybe not that much, but–”

“Maybe you didn’t know, because you definitely didn’t ask,” Nik started, crossing her arms over her chest. “But what I gave you two weeks ago was a cumulative sum from over a month’s worth of efforts by not only myself, but Preston and his crew, as well, at the expense of several settlements.” She paused, waiting for the weight of her words to land on him, and his empty expression let her know they hadn’t. She scoffed. “He’s been generous, MacCready. Allowing me to continue taking and taking and not expecting anything in return while I’m busy trying to get to Shaun. Then you walk in there, and act like a disrespectful asshole in front of him?”

“I don’t owe that guy anything,” he said, stuffing the caps into his inner pocket.

“Mm. That’s mature. Quite becoming of you.”

“It’s the truth–”

“It’s a sad fucking excuse for a piss poor attitude.” 

His face fell into a scowl. “You said you’d pay me. I don’t care where it comes from as long as I get what I’m owed.”

...

“And that’s all that matters, right? You get your money, you’ve got your boy, so you don’t owe anyone anything. Right?”

...

“Yeah, because that’s definitely what I said to you before you iced me out.”

...

The two stared at each other like two animals sizing up an opponent. Nik refused to comment on that day, so she chose to insult him instead.

“You’re acting like a child.” 

MacCready lifted a finger and pointed it towards her face.

“Don’t fucking call me a child.”

A familiar maniacal smile stretched along her face as she tilted her head. “Oh. You want to speak to me like that, huh?”

“You started it,” he snapped, crossing his arms. Nik laughed.

“Sounds like something a child would say.”

“I’m not doing this with you,” he said, lifting his arms in surrender and turning on his heel. Before she could think, she was firing back.

“Then don’t! Leave, if it’s not good enough for you.”

Turning back, MacCready shook his head and scrunched his face together.

“Eh, can’t. I know you want to pretend you didn’t hear the words I said to you, or maybe you’ll just blame it on your ‘bad memory’,” he said, holding his fingers up in air quotes, and her expression turned far more intense. “But, at the end of the day, I’m not willing to let you forget that I need money, and this outfit here is the only stable thing I can rely on right now.”

“And what if I stop paying you?” she spat, hands curled into tight fists.

“Then you’re down another gun,” he replied with a wide, taunting smile. She wasn’t impressed.

“So it’s all just a job to you?”

MacCready didn’t blink as he took a step towards her. “Just like you want it to be,” he whispered, eyes locked onto hers again. He couldn’t believe she had the audacity to say that to him, but it gave him an edge nonetheless. “I could leave though, if you really wanted. You can hunt down that super synth by yourself. Maybe take Father Teresa with you,” he said, tilting his head towards the house. “He can zap him to death with that fancy rifle you’ve gotta wind up like a jack-in-the-box to get one puny shot off.”

“You are so full of shit–”

“I’m as honest as they come, Hotshot,” he said, leaning forward. “How the truth affects you is not my problem.”

Nik huffed through her nose. “You’re an asshole.”

“Oh, it hurts!” he yelled, placing his hands on his chest and emoting his face dramatically. Nik shook her head, ignoring the stares of multiple nearby settlers as MacCready returned to a stilled position. “So, what’s our next step?” He tilted his head, and with a mischievous glint in his eye, he finished with, “Boss?”

“Funny, I was just talking with Preston about that, how about you join us?”

“Mm, no, you can just catch me up later–”

Nik grabbed his arm and opened the door, shoving him inside as she followed behind, pushing him forward with every step, much harder than she needed to.

“So! MacCready’s eager to get up to speed!” she said, pushing him down into the couch beside Preston. The men looked at each other, Preston confused, and MacCready, annoyed. “Tomorrow!” she started, clapping her hands together and pointing them towards the two. “I am heading down to C.I.T. Virgil said I’d need a radio to track the courser, so I’ll wear my Pip-Boy. I have no idea where the courser will be, or if there will even be one actively dispatched. This could be a days-long job, with an undefined destination, which naturally means…” With a heightened tone she stopped, waiting for either of the men to offer input. When neither of them did, she clapped her hands again and said, “We don’t know what kind of threats we’ll be dealing with, yes! Good job!”

She turned sharply and snatched her map up off the table, holding it in the air and pointing to it like a teacher with a chalkboard. “C.I.T. is along the water. Bugs, and those giant crab things, right? To the north is Lexington, which is basically a Raider’s fucking playground. If it leads me south across the water, then there will be even more Raiders, super mutants, dogs, ghouls, and everything else I’ve seen in central Boston.” Her mouth hung open dramatically before slapping the map back onto the table, voice returning to normal. “I’m not doing this by myself, and one person isn’t enough help, no matter how fucking good of a shot they are.” She finished, staring daggers at MacCready. 

He crossed his arms slowly, and tilted his head just enough, moving his eyes upwards to challenge her charged eye contact. She anticipated a retaliatory quip. Instead, he winked. And her lower lip fell open as a wave of heat rushed through her core. 

With a sharp inhale she stood straight and lifted her chin.

“You want money, and the Minutemen want to bring down the Institute, right?” she said, pointing towards MacCready and Preston, respectively. “I, um… I believe this needs to be a joint operation from this point on. Now that we know the Institute has Shaun and the way to get inside, then it’s time to start working together. Especially if this… super synth… is stronger than Kellogg.”

Preston leaned forward hesitantly. “You know I’d love to offer my help, but I don’t think I–”

“Told you,” MacCready said with a laugh. Preston looked at him, clearly offended.

“What?”

“Maybe if you carried around a better gun, you’d be less of a coward,” he said, leaning backwards and folding his arms behind his head. Before Nik could scold him, Preston was retaliating.

“Oh, I’m a coward? Last I checked, the honor is found in helping the innocent, not cutting them down when someone gives me five caps to do so.”

“Good thing I’m not in it for the honor, then, huh?” he replied, flashing a cocky smile. The nerves that overwhelmed Nik just a moment ago had all but disappeared.

“Alright, are we done waving our dicks around, or should I step out and let you guys finish?” she asked, eyes wide with annoyance.

MacCready was maintaining a closed-mouth smile while Preston stood and moved towards the kitchen. He looked only at Nik as he said, “I’m sorry, General. If the Minutemen have any hope of standing up to the Institute, I need to expand our army first, and get in touch with some soldiers back east.”

MacCready smirked and flicked his eyes from Preston to Nik, head tilted upwards to stare at them both. Nik ignored the threat of emotional overwhelm as she moved her eyes between the men.

“Fine,” she huffed, raising her palm to her forehead. “When do you plan on doing that?”

“I was hoping to head out that way after dealing with Starlight and touching base with you, so you know where I’ll be. I’ll be putting Sturges in charge in the case you’re not here, which, it now sounds like will be effective starting tomorrow.”

“Yeah, I guess it will be… fuck…”

“What’s the matter, Boss?”

Nik shot her eyes towards MacCready.

“Just really wanted to have… nevermind,” she said, turning around and beginning to pace. “Doesn’t matter. I’ll get it done.”

“We will get it done.” MacCready said. She ignored him and stopped herself in front of Preston.

“Until next time, then,” she said. 

Preston nodded once and said, “General,” before turning to leave, ignoring MacCready in the process, who was waving from the couch. She then turned to face him completely.

“Feel better?” she asked condescendingly.

“Not in the slightest,” he replied, moving to stand. “If that’s it, then, I’ll see you bright ‘n’ early, Boss.”

Nik’s chest heaved as she took in several labored breaths, watching him walk towards the front door helplessly. 

“Two sides of the same coin, huh?” she said, voice suddenly shaky. MacCready froze, then turned around slowly, and stared at her. 

“What?”

“You heard me,” she said, stepping forward and leaning against the back of the couch. She lowered her head to avoid his gaze. “Just because I’m scared doesn’t mean I deserve the cold shoulder, MacCready.”

He couldn’t help but to scoff. “Yeah. And your fear doesn’t excuse you leaving me hanging out to dry,” he said, taking a step towards her. With just those two sentences, they both knew exactly what the other was saying, and what they weren’t. Nik hugged her arms to herself and shook her head. 

“I haven’t done that–”

“Bullshit,” he cut her off with a spiteful laugh and pointed his finger towards her, then himself, repeatedly. “This right here, this is what gets to me. You close me off, and don’t tell me why. Then you call me an asshole when I back off.” He stopped, pressing his lips together while staring at the top of her head. “What is it you’re not telling me?”

Nik immediately shook her head, and MacCready nodded knowingly.

“That’s what I thought.” With that, he yanked the door open before throwing it shut, causing Nik to jump. She turned her body to sit on the back of the couch, putting her directly in front of the shelves on the wall. Her eyes fell on the washed-out picture in a broken frame, which showed nothing but green lines outlining the three white figures within it. A melancholy sense of assurance moved through her as she told herself she was doing the right thing.

~

Nik woke up before the sun rose, nerves too heightened to allow her a full night’s sleep. In an effort to feel any sort of control over her circumstances, she spent several hours crafting molotovs and inspecting her rifle and aid supplies. She was nervous and unhappy about the fact she had minimal explosives left. Her routines were getting messy lately, and she blamed it on distraction. She couldn’t afford to be distracted anymore, but her lack of fire support put her in a specific circumstance where she couldn’t dismiss MacCready, no matter how badly she needed to, for both of their sakes.

She was angry, and she was uncomfortable. Sadness swam beneath the anger, and exhaustion blanketed all of it. Most of all, she felt lost. Comfort wasn’t an option, she told herself. Letting MacCready get so close was an idiotic lapse in judgement, she continued. It was selfish, because it was only a matter of time.

She repeated that thought most of all, and the shame she pounded into herself was effective. Still, it couldn’t fully erase the way she missed laughing with him, swapping ‘road stories’, as he called it, and simply being near him at all.

The constant back and forth in her mind was becoming too much to bear; one moment she was sure of her mission and what sacrifices she needed to make to ensure her success with minimal suffering for herself and others, and the next, she’s fighting every instinct she has. The stress was beginning to physically affect her, so she forced herself to focus on Shaun so as to not fall apart at the seams. That effort was not nearly as effective.

The door to the armory opened, and MacCready walked through the doorway. Nik inhaled sharply before leaning over on the chair in which she sat to tighten her bootlaces, and of course, to hide her face.

“How long have you been up?” he asked, finishing with a yawn. Nik leaned into the back of the chair and looked at him, feigning composure.

“Before sunrise.”

“Oh, should I, uh–” he started, but she cut him off.

“Everything’s set to go, we leave when you’re ready.” She began to tap her foot.

MacCready felt her energy and chose to challenge it. “Let’s go, Boss.”

“Alright,” she exhaled, placing her hands on her thighs before standing. She moved to a counter where her bag was sitting so she could pretend to be occupied with checking its contents- which she had already done four times- while she proposed a new idea to him. “I think it’d be a good idea to talk to the Railroad before doing this.”

MacCready furrowed his brow. “Why? That guy was a creep.”

Nik shrugged. “Yeah, well, before I knocked his ass to the ground, he said something about them being ‘real help with taking down the Institute’, so.”

“Mhm,” he hummed, crossing his arms. Nik eyed him suspiciously. Was he offended, or something?

“There’s a chance I could convince someone to help, and maybe they’d know what to do with the chip.”

MacCready shrugged his shoulders. “Whatever you say.”

“What, do you think it’s a bad move, or something?” she asked, face twisted with impatience.

“I mean, I’m in no rush to get killed by the super synth. As long as I’m getting paid, I don’t care who comes along. I just hope you understand what you might be playing with, here.”

She rolled her eyes to herself, not appreciating what she took to be an insult to her intelligence. “Okay? Do you have some knowledge on the Railroad you’ve just kept to yourself this whole time?”

“Not really. But you’ve learned by this point that no one helps anyone for free.”

Her eyes narrowed as she turned her head towards him. “No shit.”

MacCready raised his hands in surrender to her accusatory stare. “All I’m saying is these people may not just be looking for caps. They might want more from you.”

“Then I’ll tell them to kiss my ass,” she replied quickly, and MacCready fought the urge to smile. “I’m already preparing to be the one to infiltrate the Institute alone. If that’s not enough, then…” she shook her head as her eyes darted back and forth. “I’ll ask someone else. I don’t know…”

MacCready noticed her shoulders slump slightly, and for the first time in a couple of days, the aching feeling returned to his chest. He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck, deciding for just a moment that being hard on her wasn’t worth it. “Look, Nik… it’s a good idea. If they’re a group with any kind of credit behind their words, they’ll realize how lucky they are that you walked through their front door.” He stopped, and recalled what the creep said in Goodneighbor about a basement. “Well, not the front door, but…”

Nik felt an overwhelming urge to move closer to him, especially when she watched the way he offered her a sympathetic shrug that said something to the effect of, ‘I don’t know, but I’ll be there when you figure it out’. 

Her eyes began to water and she quickly turned back towards the counter.

“I’ll tell myself that, then.”

She tied her bag shut for the fifth time.