Archive of Our Own

"Today fucking sucked," Dan announced, following the statement with a massive huff.

Phil was unawares he was in the flat. In fact, he was unawares he was even coming over, but that part wasn't so strange. Ever since he'd given him that extra key to get into the building, he seemed to think he was able to let himself in whenever he liked.

He was, really, Phil didn't mind. But still. A text would help. What if he wanted to not be in a t-shirt he spilt cereal milk on this morning?

Phil glanced behind himself as Dan came through the very short hallway and into view, throwing his bag down on the floor and kicking off his shoes. He then wrestled the hoodie over his head, getting mildly tangled in it and yelling in frustration before it joined the bag, and Dan flopped onto the couch.

Phil had to hold in his giggles.

"Why?" Phil questioned, doing his best to keep his tone neutral. Despite that, he got an evil side eye that Phil was sure Dan thought was scary, and another huff. He looked as though he was a toddler who had been denied a second serving of ice cream.

"It was raining," Dan began, untucking his arms from where they were crossed firmly on his chest and gesturing out at the view in front of them, miles and miles of Manchester laid out for them but rudely cut off by grey, low-hanging clouds.

"I stepped in a puddle on my way to my lecture, so my foot was wet for the whole thing and I couldn't fucking concentrate. I forgot my laptop, so I had to try and handwrite my notes, so now my hand hurts, and the kid next to me was like, fucking sick or something. So he was mouth breathing the whole time, and now I'm probably going to get sick," Dan listed, getting more worked up the further he went on.

"And then I went to get a coffee, to like, try not to actually kill myself and salvage some sort of semblance of an acceptable moment in a god awful day, and they'd run out of coffee. Coffee! At the coffee shop, Phil," Dan exclaimed, flailing his arms in the air before slapping them down on the couch, clearly in annoyance.

Phil bit his tongue. Quite firmly, in a way that he hoped meant his lips wouldn't twitch into a smile and give away that —despite the fact that Dan was ranting and raving and hollering —it was actually incredibly endearing, and he looked so sweet doing it.

It should be scary, to Phil, to be that head over heels that even complaining and moaning made his heart warm. He couldn't convince himself that it felt all that bad.

"That sucks," Phil replied, trying his best to sound earnestly empathetic. It wasn't like it didn't suck; in fact, it sounded horrendous. It was just that Phil would rather kiss the annoyance off of Dan's face than give him sentimental words.

"It's not funny, Philip," Dan informed him sternly, sitting himself up from where he'd sunk into the couch and leaning over, punching Phil in the arm.

"Hey!" Phil defended, cupping his arm to try and protect it from more attacks, but the movement did make a giggle leak out. "It's not my fault,"

"It's still not funny!" Dan complained, punching more but this time with both of his fists, light enough that they weren't actually that impactful and more annoying than anything. It only served to make Phil giggle more, gently slapping Dan's hands away until he stopped punching and instead leaned in against him.

"It's not funny," Dan sulked in a mopey voice, tucked in against Phil's waist, safely under his arm. Phil couldn't see his face, but he was sure it was still just as pouty as it had been when he came in.

"I'm sorry," Phil replied with a gentler laugh, wrapping his arm around Dan's back to hold him a bit closer in their side hug. Dan's hand came behind his back, burrowing between his t-shirt and the couch so he could wrap his arms around Phil's middle properly.

"You must admit it's a little funny though," Phil whispered, afraid he'd awaken the beast again, but instead he just got some little silent shakes as Dan laughed in response, shaking his head and pressing his face against Phil's ribs.

"A little," Dan admitted. "But shh,"

Silence fell upon them, not uncomfortable, but enough that Phil felt the urge to break it.

"Want to play Sonic or something? Get your mind off it?" Phil offered, not entirely sure how to meet his needs because it sounded like Dan needed to unwind. Video games were usually the solution to that, for the most part. Especially when he won. That was a sure-fire way to move Dan back into being insufferable.

"Phil?" Dan asked, as if Phil hadn't spoken or asked a question of his own.

"Uh, yes?" Phil responded, perturbed and wondering if he even asked a question in the first place or just thought it up in his brain.

"Do you remember how-" Dan began, then sighed softly, tucking his face away more in Phil's body so the next words that followed were muffled. "How we ehm - well, before I said we should like, just see what- what we both feel like doing, when I'm at uni,"

Phil did his absolute best not to react physically, trying to recall the conversation that Dan had with him over the phone before he moved to Manchester and into his halls. It wasn't hard to get the facts from that phone call back to the front of his mind, once he really considered it.

Dan wasn't sure about his sexuality. Dan wanted to maybe not be anything official, because he didn't know how much he could commit to it all. Dan cried about how he didn't want to lose Phil, and was worried that if they stopped whatever it was that they'd started, Phil wouldn't want to be friends anymore.

That was never going to be the case, but Phil could understand how he might feel that way. How the insecurity and fear lived in Dan.

Phil had simply said, even if he never got to kiss him ever again, that he'd still want to see him every day and play video games and watch movies. Because, in actual fact, it didn't matter what they were doing, as long as they were together.

So as quickly as their physical side had crash-landed into existence, it swept itself away. Or at least, that's what they said they'd do.

Since Dan had moved into halls, he'd been more tactile than ever. Phil didn't know if that was just because they saw each other a lot more often, or a manifestation of Dan's own denial of what he was pretty sure they both wanted.

It was everything but kissing, everything but fucking. Cuddling on the couch, holding hands in the cinema. Laying in the same bed, listening to one another breathing. Lingering looks at lips, aborted lean-ins and head tilts.

The whole thing, though infinitely complicated and not anything Phil was willing to put into words, was actually quite simple.

At the end of the day, it was Dan.

Phil would take whatever Dan felt he could offer, because he could just feel in his bones that it would blossom the more he was loved and cared for.

So Phil's need to stifle his reaction to Dan's utterance was out of a lot of things. Fear, worry. Excitement, hope. Did he want to reinstate their physicality? He couldn't actually see Dan committing to a 'boyfriend' thing any time soon, but it wasn't like they ever had to label it properly, since it was their lives and their choice to do whatever they wanted.

Did Dan want to stop their physicality altogether? Hopefully not, given that he was gripping the side of Phil's t-shirt so tight he might put a hole through it.

"I remember, yeah," Phil answered instead, maybe succeeding at that neutral tone a little bit better. Not leading, not expecting, but equally not rejecting or feeling put out about it.

Dan cleared his throat, his fingers fidgeting.

"What if I hadn't said that? What do you think we might be doing?" Dan asked quietly.

Light rain hit the window of the sliding door. The wind picked up just slightly.

Maybe the universe wanted some sort of resolution too.

"Same thing we're doing now," Phil shrugged, because he had no doubts about that. "Might have kissed you hello, though. But aside from that,"

"But don't you think that if we kept on, like… you know. Being how we were, that you'd- want more from me by now?" Dan replied, finding a bit more volume in his voice.

"No," Phil responded, since it kind of felt like a no-brainer. "More what?"

"Commitment?" Dan added. "Me to… to be able to ask you on dates, or do like- like romantic shit. Or be your boyfriend, or whatever,"

Phil shrugged, considering his words as he drew his fingers over Dan's upper arm. "I just like you, Dan. That stuff is fine, sure, but like… I care about you, so doing anything with you is better than doing nothing with you. And I don't… yearn for that stuff,"

Phil cut himself off before saying he yearned for Dan, because he felt like that might freak him out more than necessary. And it was hardly a yearn when he lived in his pocket.

"You deserve someone who does that stuff, though," Dan decided. "Someone who can hold your hand properly."

Phil shrugged again, biting the inside of his lip. "I think that someone would probably get jealous of how much time I spend with you,"

Dan let out a little snort, so Phil took the opportunity to gently tug on Dan's arm until he could get his hand and wind their fingers together.

"I don't think you're so bad at it," Phil mused quietly, making Dan giggle again even though it was clear he didn't want to.

"Even if I can only do it when we're alone or it's dark?" Dan asked. The vulnerability in his voice made Phil want to tuck him away and wrap him in bubble wrap for the rest of his life.

"Even then," Phil replied simply, because it was true.

Dan sighed against him, making Phil tuck him up tighter and squeeze his hand, receiving one in return. Then another two.

Phil didn't know where that left them. If that conversation had changed anything, or nothing, but he knew all he could hope for was that it kept them moving forward and helped Dan feel a little better.

He got so lost musing on the concept of it that he jumped when Dan moved under his arm, watching him curiously as he pushed himself up so he wasn't laying against him more, instead perched and leaning in, a deathgrip remaining on Phil's hand.

Dan brought himself up face to face with Phil, his expression unreadable, but it was soft. Open. The Dan that Phil loved to see.

Dan stared at him for a few silent moments, long enough that Phil considered trying to crack a joke to break the tension, because if he was just going to look at him like that with his face so earnest and his eyes darting around all big, then the only two options he could offer were a joke or a snog.

"Can I?" Dan asked for permission instead, leaning in just that bit closer.

Phil had a good guess on what he was asking, but even if it wasn't for that, it didn't matter. The answer was always yes for Dan.

"Yeah," Phil permitted, glancing down at Dan's lips, then back up to his eyes.

"Okay," Dan replied quietly, letting go of Phil's hand in favour of cupping his jaw. He then moved the few inches forward to close the gap between them, pressing their lips together just as Phil shut his eyes.

It had been months, was the thing.

Months since their last kiss at Phil's family home, snogging him goodbye so they didn't get too affectionate at the train station. It wasn't like Phil had forgotten what it was like entirely, since it was on his mind on most evenings, but to have it again was everything.

He forgot how good it felt to be able to kiss Dan. The only guy he'd been able to think about for months on end. How, even though it was fine and he would take the hand he was dealt if Dan couldn't ever commit to an intimate relationship with him, Phil really fucking wanted one.

Worry flashed through his mind as Dan parted his lips, Phil's hand shooting out to rest on Dan's chest since he knew he hated his neck being touched, and that was often Phil's go-to hand placement.

What if this was a one-off? What if Dan was just frustrated and horny? Like that night they never speak of when Dan got drunk at a uni party, then caught a taxi to Phil's house at three in the morning and sucked him off just inside the front door before running to the bathroom and throwing up far too much pink WKD.

Phil had tucked him up in bed after giving him a big glass of water and some painkillers, followed by waking up to a McDonald's breakfast and a Lucozade. Their morning was quiet, but by the afternoon, they were watching a movie and everything was normal again.

Phil wondered if Dan even remembered he did it.

He decided he would still clip the ticket. Even if this was a one-off. A two-off, if he counted that night. Because it was better than nothing. He was patient. He just hoped that playing the long game with Dan would pay off and that he wouldn't suddenly end everything they had, friendship included.

Dan was kissing him deeper and deeper, Phil could taste the coffee on his tongue that he must have got elsewhere after his debacle at the first store. He wanted, but he tried not to want too much, letting Dan steer the interaction between them instead.

"Missed this," Dan whispered once he pulled back enough to speak, kissing on Phil's jaw and giving it a bite. "Missed you,"

"I'm right here," Phil whispered before he could think better of it. "Always right here,"

Phil felt a sigh against his chin before Dan was using the hand on his jaw to tilt his head up, exposing Phil's neck. Dan got his lips on more skin then, kissing along it, and Phil felt him swipe his thumb over his Adam's apple.

"Yeah," Dan responded. "I know you are."

Phil didn't know what to make of that, but he figured it was best that he lean back into the arm of the sofa that Dan gently pressed him into, moving both of their bodies around and keeping up the kisses until their legs were tangled together. Dan's thigh landed firmly between Phil's as he hovered over him, and he started to kiss lower on his neck so he could suck a small bite.

"Have you been with anyone since we stopped?" Dan asked, clearly not wanting to look him in the eye when he said it, so Phil just enjoyed the pressure of his body on top of him and stared at his ceiling for a second.

"No," Phil replied, winding his arms down to Dan's waist, wondering if he was allowed to try and take his shirt off. He didn't know if they were heading there exactly, but he couldn't stop himself from tucking his fingers just underneath it to feel the warmth of his skin that covered his hips. "Have you?"

"No," Dan responded just as easily, biting his neck slightly harsher and sucking some more. It didn't take much for Phil to bruise, so he'd have to find some collars to wear for the next couple of days. "I haven't,"

Phil nodded, feeling some sort of relief about that, even though he knew he shouldn't. They weren't technically anything, never had been, and even though that 'nothing' did somehow feel like everything, they'd never laid out rules as such.

It just pleased him that no one else had got Dan like this. The way he was so vulnerable, sharing this thing with Phil that he was so scared to have anyone else even look at. Phil wondered if it was some perverted sort of justification to himself, romanticising Dan's inability to be open to the rest of the world.

Either way, it did make him feel special. Made Phil want to show up and be the best… person he could for Dan. To show him that not everyone would cast stones.

Phil moved his hand from Dan's waist, maybe subtly rucking the t-shirt up his body just a fraction as he did and cupped under his jaw. He guided it up so they were aligned again, pressing in to kiss Dan this time and feeling him melt into it like relief.

Even from the start, the way they moved together was so natural. A bit fumbly, sure, what with Dan's lack of experience - especially with men - but it was never awkward or stilted. It was like they were divinely made to fit together. Generic metaphors like puzzle pieces came to mind, but it was more than that.
Intrinsic. Something baser level, bigger than whatever doubts lived in Dan's brain.

Phil felt Dan's hand start to wander, one arm propping him up despite the fact he was a weight on top of Phil, but it meant the other could slide up Phil's waist and ribs whilst they kept up a never-ending snog. It reminded Phil of their earlier days - just making out in bed for hours on end because they couldn't get enough of one another.

Dan's hand roamed lower, skirting over the outside of Phil's hip and the side of his thigh, coaxing it up and grabbing in that desperate way of his. Phil went easily, shifting in place and wishing he had the protection of jeans instead of the loose pyjama bottoms he had on. Dan would be able to feel him, soon. If he was lucky - or unlucky?

"Do you want…?" Phil began, pulling back just enough to speak to Dan, but unsure where his sentence was heading once he started it. To fuck? To do more? To stop?

Dan nodded regardless, his hair getting in Phil's face. It was just on the edge of getting curly from the rain and Phil would never say it, but he loved when it was like that. Even if it drove Dan wild.

"Yeah, I do," Dan mumbled, kissing him again, just a bit rougher than he had before. He then rolled his hips down, making Phil gasp at the sudden pressure against his cock.

The action sort of sparked something - at least, something in Phil that made him want to take charge of the situation, like he used to. Like he usually did, since in the past Dan had never quite been able to take that lead role in what they did.

Phil's hand scrambled down to Dan's hip again, looping in his belt to tug him down against him once more before moving to grab at his arse, using the motion there to press him closer while he ground up.

Dan made a small noise, something between surprise and desperation, but it only spurred Phil on. He spread his leg wider so he could hook it around the back of Dan's thigh, trapping him in closer and then getting his hands under his t-shirt, pushing it up his body and taking liberties to feel along his soft skin.

"This okay?" Phil asked quietly, getting another nod and a desperate clash of lips.

"Yes, please," Dan mumbled, only pulling away long enough to get the fabric off of him before they were reattached.

Phil ran his fingers up the dip of Dan's spine, feeling him up slowly and trying not to revel too much in it all and instead live in the moment, and take what he was offering.

Dan moved against him again, his hips rolling in against Phil and only serving to make him harder. Dan knew what he was doing with that motion, what he was working them up towards, so Phil let it happen. He could feel a pressure he could only assume was Dan and not just the way his jeans bunched, so he rolled his hips enthusiastically in time with him as their make-out started to devolve into something much more smutty.

"Can I fuck you, Phil?" Dan asked, bordering on timid, but Phil could tell he had forced confidence into his voice.

Phil rolled his eyes back in his head just from the idea, the blood rushing to his cock and conveniently drawing it away from his brain, which really helped with not considering any consequences or fallout from making this decision.

"Yes," Phil replied easily, rolling with him again and feeling Dan press down so hard Phil almost shifted up the couch. "Need lube though. In the bedroom,"

Dan shook his head, giving Phil one last kiss before pulling away and sitting up on his knees, resting against Phil's leg that was still trapped beneath him. Phil was spread for him, really, his dick now obscene and hard and pressing against the front of his pyjamas.

He hoped Dan liked the look of him. He was feeling reasonably debauched despite the fact they'd not quite got anywhere.

"I bought some," Dan explained his shake of the head, and Phil caught him looking him over. Dan's eyes lingered on his crotch, which made Phil feel smug, but he took the opportunity to look Dan over in return. The way his chest was rising and falling like he was out of breath, how fit he looked without his shirt on, the way his brown eyes were basically black from how wide his pupils were blown.

It only hit Phil in a secondary way that Dan had bought lube. That meant he'd gone into a store and purchased some. Which, in Phil's mind, was kind of a vague sort of progress. He supposed lube wasn't inherently gay, but even still. It was something.

"Get it then, love," Phil encouraged, giving him a little nudge with his leg to get him going.

Dan seemed to snap out of whatever he was thinking and let out a little giggle, swatting back at Phil's leg before pushing himself to his feet. As he rounded the couch to get at his bag, Phil took a second to swallow thickly, glancing at the ceiling again and ever so specifically flicking at his fringe so it wasn't all splingey.

This was fine, actually. Dan could fuck him and it would be fine. Well, in the moment, it would be amazing. And there was hardly any use in thinking about what might happen afterwards until he got there, was there?

Dan returned to the visible side of the sofa, tearing at the outer plastic of the lube bottle with his teeth and eyeing Phil curiously, this time raising an eyebrow.

"Are we gonna do it with your clothes on?" Dan teased, placing the wrapping on the coffee table and then hesitating before he placed the lube there as well.

Phil didn't think they'd ever done anything outside of his bedroom. Outside of a bed, even, so this was just on the edge of risque. Not that anyone could come in, or even manage to see in his window since he was so many floors up in the air, but still. It was just a bit naughty.

"You're meant to take them off. How are we gonna make a top out of you if you keep forgetting this stuff?" Phil teased, hoping that wasn't too much of a sting, but he was glad to see it just made Dan giggle.

"Is that the law? That tops have to remove all the clothing?" Dan sassed back.

Phil took the opportunity to propel himself up to sit on the edge of the sofa, eyeing him curiously before reaching out and grabbing Dan's hips, pulling him to stand in between his legs for a moment.

"You're meant to be the lawyer, not me," Phil insisted, pressing his thumbs into the dips of his hip bones before going for his belt, starting to unwind the buckle. "I suppose we can break the rules. Since you still have these on and everything,"

"Get your shirt off, at least. I can't be standing here naked with you fully clothed," Dan replied, leaning forwards over Phil to get at the back of his t-shirt, rucking it up enough to get to the hem, so Phil relented and let him pull it over his head. He went back to the belt though, getting it unlatched before going straight for the zipper.

"So bossy," Phil tutted, looking up at Dan again and grinning when he saw the slightly more slack-jawed expression on his face. He played up into it, leaning forward to press a kiss below his belly button before biting where there was the faintest trail of hair.

Phil used his hands to shuck Dan's jeans down enough to expose his boxers - as if they weren't always exposed anyway - then let his chin brush the base of his cock as he kept pressing kisses above the line of the elastic.

He took the liberty of sliding his hands around to the backs of Dan's now exposed thighs, bringing him closer so he could press his face in firmer to his skin before licking up the hair he was kissing before.

"You're not gonna let me blow you, hey?" Phil asked. The last time he'd done that when Dan tried to fuck him, he'd come early, so Dan swore off stacking the two acts, as it were, to save his 'stamina'. Phil thought that was code for ego. And it's not like he cared; he actually found it quite sweet when Dan came too early.

"Let you," Dan scoffed, but his hand came to rest lightly on the top of Phil's hair. "Does that mean I'm in charge?"

"You wish," Phil muttered, pressing his face against his crotch again to give him some pressure as he squeezed the back of his thighs. "Come on then. Let's get these jeans off so you can actually move,"

Phil helped shuck the tight fabric down Dan's legs, getting his socks as they went until he was just in his underwear, looking every bit the delicious guy Phil remembered having his way with a few months prior.

"You gonna work me open? Or want me to do it?" Phil offered, taking the moment to pull Dan into his own lap, getting him straddling it so he could admire the sight of him, even if it wasn't going to be for all that long.

Dan came easily, clearly loosened up now he'd accepted that this was going to happen and more willing to go along with things. Instead of answering, he pressed into another kiss with Phil, insistent enough with it that Phil's head tipped against the back of the couch and his arms shot around Dan to feel him up.

Dan's hands came to Phil's neck, only gently holding it but definitely keeping him in place so he could kiss him deeper, their tongues sliding and little noises eeking out as Phil did his best to keep pace.

It didn't matter either way, to him, whether he got himself ready or not. The first few times they'd had sex, Dan was too scared to try bottoming, which Phil thought was fair enough, so he'd offered himself up. Since Dan was reasonably inexperienced, he'd taken charge of prepping himself too, wanting to make sure that Dan wasn't feeling too pressured to learn too much in a short space of time.

Since those times, he'd definitely tried it once or twice, but had seemingly felt somewhat insecure about it. Phil didn't think he'd done a bad job at all, but, it was hard to convince Dan of something once he'd decided otherwise.

"I can do it," Dan said into his mouth, as if he knew what Phil was thinking and just wanted to be contrary. "I'll finger you,"

"Yeah?" Phil responded, squeezing his side. "You want to?"

"Mhm," Dan said into his mouth, pulling back to look him in the eyes. "Can't make a top out of me if I'm shit at fingering, can we?"

Phil rolled his eyes, lightly smacking the side of his thigh. "You're not shit at fingering,"

"I couldn't even find your prostate," Dan whined, to which Phil rolled his eyes and swivelled them around on the sofa again, moving so he could lay sideways once more with Dan straddling him.

"Well, have a look today, then. Might make itself apparent," Phil insisted, rocking his hips up to budge Dan off and moving with him until he was kneeling between Phil's spread legs.

"You weren't giving me very good instructions," Dan complained, tucking his fingers into Phil's pyjama bottoms. Phil lifted his hips to allow him to pull them down, exposing him in his entirety to the room as soon as they were off his body.

"Well, I'll give you better instructions this time, how's that?" Phil offered, smiling a bit to himself when Dan got distracted looking at his cock.

For all his woes and his worries about his sexuality, it was in moments like these that Phil knew for sure that Dan really did love cock. Whoever else he may or may not love aside, the boy was so turned on by hard dicks.

"Yeah," Dan replied distractedly, almost having to drag his eyes back up to look at Phil. "You should,"

"Put the lube on your fingers," Phil instructed, dry as anything as he immediately earned an eye roll, but decided to keep going. "Put your fingers inside me, then we'll go from there,"

"I know that part, Phil," Dan insisted, leaning over to grab the lube and do as he was told regardless of his backchat.

"Sure you do," Phil murmured agreeably. "Come kiss, yeah?"

Dan nodded, coating his fingers before making a face when he realised he'd have to lean on his hand that he'd just covered in lube, if he wanted to lean forward, so Phil just tutted and reached for his abandoned pyjama bottoms to wipe his hand off.

Once he'd de-lubed it to Dan's satisfaction he tugged him closer, meeting their lips again to help combat Dan's nerves as he felt his hand nervously flitting around between his legs before he managed to make contact and try to find his hole.

Phil spread his legs to make it easier, holding the back of Dan's hair lightly to keep him focused and relaxing his body enough that his tentative fingers could at least try to breach inside him.

"That's it," Phil encouraged, speaking quietly to him as if anyone could even overhear. "Press a bit harder, you won't break me,"

Dan nodded, his lips brushing Phil's as they breathed in each other's mouths, but Phil let him concentrate until he managed to build up the courage to actually breach inside of him. Phil smiled slightly when he got it, kissing him as a reward.

"Just like that," Phil guided, giving him a few more kisses now that Dan was able to concentrate on it again. "Press in further, yeah? In and out, and keep pressing your second finger alongside. It'll fit soon,"

"It's so weird," Dan admitted with a little laugh, pressing their foreheads together.

"Don't call my hole weird, Dan," Phil complained, only getting more giggles from Dan and that delicious pink flush on his cheeks.

"Not yours," Dan insisted. "Just, like… anyone's. That it can do this,"

"Well. Whoever made us put our prostate in there for some reason. I choose to believe it's for me to have a good time," Phil responded, adjusting his hips just slightly. "Press a bit harder, darling. Get that second one in there,"

"Okay," Dan answered, kissing him again, and this time even daring to bite Phil's lip. Phil let him, finding it quite sweet, and made a little self-satisfied noise when his other finger slipped in beside the first.

Dan's fingers were hesitant and gentle, like he might somehow hurt Phil, which he did appreciate even if it wasn't required. If it made Dan feel better, he'd roll with it.

"Now curl them towards you, a bit. Try and aim for like, if you were trying to touch the other side of my dick," Phil instructed, looking into Dan's eyes as he watched the concentrated expression wash over him again. "Can go a bit deeper, too,"

Dan nodded, looking back into Phil's eyes, but it was clear his mind was much further south, concentrating on what he was feeling inside of him. Phil took the moment to appreciate his pretty face, pressing a few more kisses on his slack lips.

Phil noted that Dan seemed more determined this time. Last time he tried this he seemed to get too nervous and start to fret, glossing over when he couldn't find it and instead deferring to just stretching Phil open enough to fuck him.

This time, he seemed a bit more willing to take the time to devote to it, really give it his best shot.

And all of a sudden, it was worth it.

Phil sharply inhaled when he felt Dan brush over the sensitive gland, his body lighting up. "There, just there. You had it,"

"Oh," Dan replied, fingers desperately moving about where they were before they brushed it again, making Phil moan.

"Yeah, right there. You can- you can circle your fingers on it, press on it, now you've found it- oh," Phil muttered, trying to instruct him, but as soon as Dan started devoting actual attention to it, his head tipped back and he let out another moan.

"I can do that," Dan replied, sounding a little mesmerised but Phil was far too focused on how good it felt to have Dan's long fingers inside of him and rubbing against that spot that sent electricity throughout his entire body when it was touched.

"Yeah," Phil moaned quietly, smiling open-mouthed when he felt Dan start kissing at his neck. He could feel the heat of his body against him too, how their legs brushed, how his fingers were growing more confident inside of him, the more Phil reacted to the sensation.

"That feel okay?" Dan asked against his neck, sounding hesitant enough that Phil pulled his head up to give him an enthusiastic kiss in the hopes that would convince him how 'okay' it was.

"So fucking good," Phil mumbled, letting out another noise and rocking his hips down, trying to get even more of the sensation. "You're gonna feel this one day and get what I'm talking about when I say it feels magic,"

"I tried the other night," Dan admitted, the fact taking a long few moments to register in Phil's brain before he moaned at the sheer idea of Dan laying there, fingering himself. "I couldn't get the right angle."

"Holy shit," Phil whispered in response, swallowing again to try and catch his breath. "You did? That's so… that's so sexy, Dan,"

"Yeah?" Dan said with an awkward little laugh, his fingers pressing harder and making the inside of Phil's thighs shake.

"Yeah, for sure," Phil replied, groaning and rocking down into his fingers. "It's hard to get the right angle yourself, it's not your fault, it takes a bit of time. Or some help," Phil mumbled, taking a deep breath to fill his lungs and get some strength.

"Okay, okay. Need you to stop that, or I'm gonna come. Thrust your fingers now, yeah? Stretch me a little more so I can take you," Phil instructed, letting out a deflated sigh when Dan's fingers stopped applying pressure.

"Have you ever had anyone blow you while they finger you?" Dan asked curiously as he did as he was told, moving his fingers to more of a thrusting motion, working Phil open just a bit more.

Phil let out a light laugh at the concept of him asking, knowing immediately that Dan would feel a certain way about his answer.

"Once or twice, yeah," Phil answered, biting his tongue when he saw Dan narrow his eyes almost on command. For someone who didn't want to commit, he sure was possessive.

"I'm gonna do that to you. One day," Dan insisted.

"That'd be amazing," Phil responded, trying not to feel so warm about Dan making commitments to do this again with him. "Okay, that's enough. Get some lube on your cock. 'Less you want a condom?"

Dan shook his head, ever so gently pulling his fingers out of Phil and reaching for Phil's pyjama bottoms again, to wipe his hands, before grabbing the lube bottle.

"Nah, it's okay. Feels better to… to not. If that's still okay?" Dan asked Phil, drizzling some of the lube on his fingers before shifting to edge his underwear down, revealing his cock, so Phil took the liberty to have a look at it.

"Yeah, love. I haven't- nothing's changed, that's still okay," Phil responded, glad that Dan was able to check in like that. He reached out before Dan had the chance to lube himself up, wrapping his fingers around Dan's cock and giving it a few gentle tugs, appreciating just how hard and thick it was in his hand.

He watched Dan melt and his shoulders go lax, clearly enjoying the touch after straining for so long without all that much attention. His hands went slack, the lube puddled in his hand, but Phil didn't care about that so much; instead much more focused on how Dan's tip disappeared in his grip.

Phil thumbed the tip a few times and smeared his precome around before finally deciding to let go, giggling when Dan made the most disappointed noise.

"Come on, the sooner you get it in, the sooner you can feel that again," Phil insisted.

"You distracted me," Dan pouted, but he did grab his own dick to coat it in lube, spreading it carefully as Phil watched between his thighs and tried to commit the image to memory. Dan slicking up his dick, getting it ready to stick inside him. It really had been far too long.

"It's called training. Or something. How else will you know how to work with distractions?" Phil insisted, watching Dan shift once more, so he moved himself, swiping one of the sofa cushions off the floor and stuffing it under his own arse so he was a bit more propped up for him.

"I shouldn't be distracted," Dan replied, waiting until they were both settled before reaching down between them, fumbling a bit before he managed to guide his cock against Phil's hole, feeling around to check it was in the right place.

Phil curled his toes at the pressure of the blunt head of it, consciously relaxing himself so Dan would be able to slip inside when he pressed harder.

"Life's not perfect, Danny boy," Phil replied, reaching up to cup his cheeks and pull him in for a kiss. "But I think you should fuck me anyway,"

Dan rolled his eyes, but his smile gave him away as he pressed himself in, the pressure building until there was a pop of release when Phil gave way to him and he sank slowly inside. Phil let out a small moan and arched into it, pressing his thumb in Dan's dimple only half on purpose since he was cupping his cheeks anyway.

"Fuck yeah," Phil mumbled as Dan filled him up, sliding a hand around to grip Dan's hair at the back of his head. He managed to focus his expression enough to take in how Dan looked, seeing he was almost gone with pleasure aside from that small part that was clearly holding back from his baser instincts of just fucking inside him with no care or finesse.

Phil knew the feeling.

"Doing okay?" Phil asked once he felt he'd bottomed out, shifting just slightly in place and adjusting the angle as Dan nodded before realising Phil was holding the back of his head.

"Yeah, are you?" Dan asked back. Phil nodded, scratching his head instead of gripping the hair.

"Yeah, more than," Phil breathed. "You can move when you want."

"Okay," Dan agreed, taking an extra few moments to gear up before slowly pulling himself out. He pressed inside again, and Phil gave him the time and space to build his rhythm before he started trying to do anything else.

It felt amazing, was the thing. Even with Dan's inexperience, his enthusiasm for this part really did get him through any fumbles, and Phil supposed there was a somewhat instinctual element to it. He had a cock, he was probably somewhat designed to fuck.

It didn't make it any less enjoyable. In fact, it was actually quite enjoyable, so much so that Phil felt his orgasm start to build before he was expecting it to.

He moved to grip Dan's hair again, smiling when the firm grasp made him moan and feeling tempted to try something out. He acted on a whim, lifting his other hand and sliding his fingers into Dan's mouth, grinning when he parted them for him and instantly latched on to suck.

Phil watched as Dan's eyes slid shut, enjoying how pliant he was under his hands, even if he was the one on top. It sort of felt like the right dynamic for them.

"Harder," Phil insisted, moaning when Dan instantly obeyed and picked up the pace and pressure. "Yeah, that's it. Want you to come in me, yeah? That's a good boy,"

Dan made a somewhat desperate whine, surprising Phil just a little when he seemed to do just that, his thrusts getting erratic until they stammered and Dan pressed as deep inside of him as possible and bit down on Phil's fingers that were still in his mouth.

Phil clenched around him so that he could get the most pressure he could when he came, watching him curiously and smiling as his expression relaxed from the tense display it was seconds earlier, signalling he was rolling through his orgasm.

Phil slipped his fingers out of Dan's mouth, wiping them on the poor pyjamas that had become their makeshift rag before cupping his jaw and coaxing him into a kiss.

"Did so good, Dan," Phil promised, smiling as his lips felt lazy. "Filled me up so well. Gonna make me come too? Show me how good you are?"

Dan nodded, reaching down between them as he kept sloppily kissing him, not pulling out of him for the time being. That helped, in Phil's mind, being full of him as he started to stroke his dick.

"Like this?" Dan asked him softly, Phil nodding in response as he let out a breath. He was close, and when Dan moved down to kiss his neck just as sloppily, he drew closer.

"Yeah, just like that," Phil replied, moaning and feeling his breath pick up. It wasn't like he was that far away either, so after some quick and attentive work from Dan's hand, he felt the pressure building once again.

"Gonna come," Phil warned, only getting a few seconds before he felt himself shooting up between their bodies, the world going light behind his eyelids for a few blissful seconds before he came back down to earth.

He used his grip that was still in Dan's hair to tug him back up, coaxing some more lazy snogs out of him now that they were both finished and gently letting go of the grip, instead just cupping the back of his head until they both seemed a bit more sated.

"How do you feel?" Phil asked Dan quietly, hoping that the post-nut clarity was going to work in his favour today.

"Fantastic," Dan answered quietly, looking over Phil's face before letting out a small giggle. "M' gonna pull out now,"

"Yeah," Phil allowed, still wincing when he felt the loss of him and curling his toes up. "We need to shower,"

Dan nodded in agreement, making a little face. "I think there's lube on your cushion."

Phil shrugged, giving Dan a nudge with his leg. "I can clean it,"

"You can clean cushions?" Dan asked with maybe too much wonder, making Phil roll his eyes as he gave Dan a gentle shove to get them moving.

"We need to send you to a school where they teach you how to do laundry and cook meals," Phil decided.

"I don't need more school," Dan whined, gently slapping the inside of Phil's thigh with the back of his hand. Phil pretended to yelp, closing his legs around Dan where he was still perched between them like he was going to retaliate the fight but he was feeling far too lazy to follow through.

"Did that make your day worse or better?" Phil prompted quietly, a little hesitant to bring it up properly, but Dan had made a big song and dance about how terrible it had been when he had arrived.

"Worse," Dan replied petulantly, but he was fighting a smile that told Phil he meant the opposite.

"Piss off," Phil mumbled, squeezing him tighter between his knees. "Liar,"

"Yeah," Dan shrugged in admittance, reaching out to poke a mole on Phil's tummy, right next to where his own come was starting to dry in that uncomfortable itchy way. He wanted to shower, but he wanted to see where they'd landed first.

"What if we ordered pizza and played Sonic? Would that make better?" Phil asked.

It was innocent, but it was his litmus test. Would Dan run, avoid, dodge? Phil hoped not - and realistically he knew that he never actually went too far, even if he was being awkward and avoidant - but it was still a worry. He never entirely knew how Dan was going to react after that conversation they'd had where he slammed on the brakes.

"Can we get the garlic aioli and the marinara dip?" Dan questioned, as if that were make or break.

Phil rolled his eyes, but he was already nodding.

"Yes," he responded simply.

"And the sweet chilli?" Dan prompted. The look on his face said he knew he was winding Phil up, so Phil resolved to not give him an inch to work with.

"Whatever dips you want, Dan," he appeased, gentle exasperation in his tone.

"Okay. That might help, then," Dan shrugged, like he couldn't be sure until they were in the situation.

Dan was quiet for a few moments, clearly contemplative before he leaned in close to Phil's space again, hovering over him and pressing a quick kiss to his lips. It was one where their teeth accidentally clacked, like he had misjudged the distance between them, but needed to propel himself into it to actually make it happen.

"Thank you," Dan whispered, quiet enough that Phil might have missed it had he not felt the breath of the words against his lips.

"Don't need to thank me," Phil mumbled back, catching Dan's eyes with his own. "Told you I'm always here,"

"That's why I'm thanking you," Dan responded, his expression so sincere and open for a few raw moments before it flickered off, his little sardonic smirk replacing it. "You should shower first. Since you're all comey,"

"And whose fault is that?" Phil replied, deciding to be daring and cup the back of Dan's head, pulling him back in for one last snog. If, when he went and showered, that somehow reset them again and they went back to 'platonic' friends that didn't do this, he wanted one last taste of Dan's tongue to think about until this inevitably happened again.

When they came up for air Phil eventually managed to tear himself away and get himself cleaned up. Dan followed suit afterwards while Phil arranged their dinner, getting every dip that the restaurant offered just to see Dan's little dimples pop.

They played their game, ate, and it was all like it was before. In fact, Phil half suspected that maybe it was assumed they were lapsing back into the alleged chasteness of their relationship and that was that.

But when Dan complained he was too tired to go back home to his room in the halls across town, and Phil offered for him to stay, like he always would, and they ended up in Phil's bed… there was a slight shift.

Dan initiated a cuddle. That wasn't out of the ordinary, but him cupping under Phil's chin and angling his head for a kiss was. It was lazy and slow, not leading to anything sexual, just intimate and heady and… passionate. Different from how they'd snogged in Phil's bed at home, which had always been more sweet and eager.

They didn't speak about it.

It wound down as they got tired, their limbs settling together in tangles and breathing starting to align as they drifted off.

There was a moment when Phil could have sworn Dan murmured something, but he was in and out of sleep, and he'd hate to hold him to it when the concept of Dan expressing his love could be born of idle fantasy.

Besides, there was always going to be time for 'I love you's.

Phil just had to be patient.