Chapter Text
“You’re about to get married. This should be the happiest time of your life.”
Jackie inhaled sharply. Her gaze darted from side to side for a few seconds before settling back on her therapist. “I know,” she sighed. “But I’m not... happy, I guess. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me. It’s like nothing around me makes any sense.”
“It‘s a time full of changes,” Dr. Grey said with a smile. “It‘s just a matter of getting used to it. Tell me—what worries you the most?”
Jackie didn’t know if she should start by admitting that she was terrified of never getting used to it—that her whole life might end up revolving around something she already found uncomfortable, even though she could never quite explain why a part of her always felt that way. She was afraid she wouldn’t be able to handle living with Jordan every day, when sometimes it was already hard enough to stand him just as a boyfriend. She didn’t even want to imagine him as a husband.
Jordan. He was a nice guy. They’d met almost three years ago at a bar where he worked, near Rutgers. If she was honest, he wasn’t at all the kind of man Jackie imagined herself marrying—though even if she tried hard, she couldn’t come up with a type she would marry at all.
But that didn’t matter. The thing was: Jordan was nice, and that was the only thing she ever said about him when people asked about her fiancé. Of course, the idea of marriage had come from her mother, who repeated over and over that a woman should marry in her twenties and not waste the chance with a good man like Jordan. So after enough pressure, Jordan decided to surprise her during a romantic dinner. Jackie said yes—but what did saying yes really mean? Wasn’t that just what she was supposed to say?
And to be fair, Jordan treated her well. Marrying him would have thrilled her ten-year-old self—the little girl who dreamed about love stories and perfect princes. Jordan was blond, with small eyes and an average build. He used to work as a bartender, but lately he’d gotten into playing in a band with his best friends, singing as the lead vocalist in small bars now and then.
On paper, life was smiling on Jackie. She was about to get married, had just finished college, and soon she and Jordan would move into an apartment downtown. Everything was perfect.
Except it wasn’t.
She could’ve told Dr. Grey all of that and more, but it would’ve led nowhere.
“I just... I guess I’m nervous, that’s all,” she said, forcing a faint smile. “My life is about to change completely, and that’s a little scary. But the best situations always make you nervous before they arrive.”
Dr. Grey smiled, tilting her head to the side. “When I married my husband, do you know what the hardest part was? Getting used to his snoring. It’s like the snoring of a beast.”
Jackie faked a laugh, subtly glancing at the clock above the woman’s head to see how much longer the session would last.
She wanted to go home instead of sitting in that room talking about marriage and husbands.
“Well, that, and the fact that he can’t cook,” her therapist sighed. “How’s Jordan in the kitchen?”
“He’s... well, he tries,” Jackie shrugged. “It’s not like he’s terrible.”
Dr. Grey leaned back in her chair. “Well, Jackie, I suppose we won’t be seeing each other for a few months,” she said with a smile. “I hope you enjoy your well-deserved vacation with your parents and your soon-to-be husband. You have my number, so you know you can call me anytime and we can arrange an online session.”
“Right.”
“In three months, you’ll officially be married and you’ll walk through that door and tell me all the details. But in the meantime, I want you to relax as much as possible out at the ranch with your parents,” Dr. Grey lifted her brows, almost as if warning her to do so rather than reassuring her. “Leave your worries aside, Jackie.”
“Right.”
Of course, going to her parents’ ranch in the countryside—practically in the middle of nowhere—had been their idea, along with Jordan’s. Jackie would rather die than spend two months surrounded by flies, bugs, and no trace of civilization. But Jordan thought it would be romantic, and then her parents insisted so much that it would help her relax before the wedding that she had no choice but to agree.
“And about sex, my dear...” Dr. Grey inhaled softly, pausing before continuing. “Don’t overthink it, all right? It’ll only bring you more anxiety and worry. Just apply the technique we discussed, remember?”
Of course she remembered. Dr. Grey had suggested touching herself after having sex with Jordan. That way she could reach orgasm right away—though Jackie hadn’t told her that most of the time she didn’t even bother following this advice, because the quicker the whole thing was over, the less uncomfortable it felt.
She appreciated Dr. Grey’s suggestion, but wasn’t the whole point of sex that your partner was supposed to be the one to make you come? What was the point of waiting until Jordan finished and then roll over and start touching herself just to get there? According to her therapist, Jackie was always tense during sex, and that tension was what kept her from reaching climax. Jackie supposed she was right: her mind was never truly there when Jordan was fucking her. She’d tried with all her strength to focus, but whenever her eyes met his, everything felt wrong and uncomfortable, and she could never explain why. So her mind would just shut down until Jordan was done.
Of course, she would never tell her soon-to-be husband any of this. With how sensitive Jordan was, he would probably burst into tears right then and there if he ever found out that all of Jackie’s “orgasms” and “moans” were fake and that she’d never once in her life climaxed because of him—or anyone else, for the matter.
Jordan had been her first. Not even with Jeff, her long-term high school boyfriend, had she slept.
So considering Jordan was the only man she’d ever been with, there was always the possibility that he was simply bad at sex. Because if that wasn’t it, then Jackie was sure something in her just didn’t work the way it was supposed to—and that was one of the things she’d been tackling in therapy for months.
She limited herself to letting out a few fake moans, waiting for Jordan to finish, and then going to sleep. Even on the occasions when she followed Dr. Grey’s advice and touched herself right after Jordan was done, she could recognize the sensation of pleasure, but the whole context was so unflattering that most of the time she just gave up in the middle of it.
So she looked at Dr. Grey and simply nodded. “Okay.”
“We’ll keep working on that, don’t worry. But for now, focus on enjoying your vacation before the wedding.”
Jackie nodded again, noting on the clock that there were two minutes left.
When she left the session, she was almost certain she wouldn’t call Dr. Grey again. Not because she disliked the woman, but because after so many months of therapy, Jackie had come to realize that there was something fundamentally unfixable in her—something no therapist or treatment could ever mend.
She wondered if becoming Jordan’s wife and having his children someday would fix it, but she doubted it. So, she had no choice but to convince herself that everything was fine.
Everything was great.
Everything was perfect.
The next day, they would leave for her parents’ ranch.
***
The ranch was bigger than Jackie remembered from when she was a child. They arrived around eight in the evening, after nearly two hours of driving, the sun setting and the distinct scent of hay hanging in the air the moment Jackie stepped out of the car.
She went to open the trunk to grab her things, but Jordan was faster.
“It’s okay, babe,” he told her. “I’ll take care of it. Go let your parents know we’re here.”
Her parents welcomed her with hugs and kisses, though of course their attention quickly shifted to Jordan. They had dinner while a flood of questions about the wedding came up—most of them answered by Jordan. Jackie only focused on eating, nodding every now and then at whatever Jordan said about the wedding. The only question she bothered to answer herself was the one about the wedding dress.
The ranch house had two floors and a detached room to the left. To get there, you simply had to step out the back door, cross a small path, and in just a few seconds you’d arrive at the room. Her parents never used it; the only time Jackie had ever seen it occupied was when she was a little girl and her cousin came to visit the ranch. Other than that, the room had always remained empty.
This time, however, the lights seemed to be on. A faint yellowish glow spilled through the windows.
“Do we have guests at the ranch?”
“No,” her mother replied, though she seemed to think about it for a moment. “We decided to hire someone for the summer to help with the work.”
Jackie didn’t say anything else.
When dinner was over, she helped her mother wash the dishes and then headed to the room she and Jordan would be sharing to drop off their luggage, while Jordan took a shower.
The window of her room looked directly out onto the back of the house, where the guest room stood. It was then, after staring for a few minutes, that she noticed the light inside was flickering, as if the bulb had gone bad.
She went downstairs, stepping out through the back door until she reached the room.
She knocked softly, and just a few seconds later, her breath caught in her chest when she saw the person standing in front of her.
Dressed in a white shirt and a denim jacket, Shauna Shipman looked just as breathless as she did upon seeing her.
“What are you doing here?”
Shauna stared at her for a few seconds, her eyes scanning her from head to toe before answering. “Didn’t your parents tell you?”
“Tell me what?”
“They hired me to help out at the ranch.”
Jackie froze, utterly still, until finally a dry, disbelieving laugh escaped her.
“You’re lying.”
She had to be. Her parents would never do this to her. They wouldn’t force her to spend the summer with her ex–best friend—the one she hadn’t seen in almost three years, the one who had slept with her ex-boyfriend behind her back, and with whom she’d lost all contact after a massive fight.
They wouldn’t… right?
“Of course I’m not lying,” Shauna said, shaking her head. “I’ll be here all summer, so you’d better get used to it.”
“I see you’re just as much of a jerk as ever,” Jackie said, feeling the blood rush to her head. “You haven’t changed at all.”
“Cut it out, Jackie,” Shauna sighed. “You’re going to see me every day, so the best thing we can do is get along.”
“Right. Want us to hug it out, too?”
Shauna bit her lower lip before a small laugh slipped out. She stepped away from the door, opening the drawer beside the TV.
“So, why’d you come to my room, anyway?”
Jackie swallowed, her body tense. “Your light bulb’s busted. It keeps flickering.”
“I know.”
Shauna took off her denim jacket, left in just the loose white shirt underneath. There were a few scars on the upper part of her arms—something that instantly stirred Jackie’s concern, though she kept her mouth shut. She hated herself for still caring about Shauna, but some habits were hard to break.
At the end of the day, she and Shauna had been inseparable since kindergarten.
“So, what are you going to do?”
“Change the bulb,” Shauna said, turning her back to her. “Wanna help?”
“Why the hell would I help you with anything?”
Shauna grinned—indifferent, cocky. “That’s fine. You can just stand there and watch.”
And that’s exactly what Jackie did. She stayed leaning against the door, a little hypnotized by Shauna’s movements. Shauna climbed onto a chair and unscrewed the bulb, her motions steady and precise. She looked so focused that she noticed she’d left the new bulb on the nightstand, so she climbed down to retrieve it.
“I’ll help,” Jackie said then, with a sigh. “I guess it’s better than just standing here watching.”
Shauna seemed to find that amusing. “You sure you even know how to change a light bulb?”
“Stop being such a jerk.”
“I’m just saying, it’s not exactly the kind of thing you usually do,” Shauna shrugged.
“How hard can it be?” Jackie frowned, irritated. “Give me that.”
She climbed onto the chair and spent a few seconds studying the socket, trying to figure out exactly how the bulb was supposed to line up with the pins. She raised her arms, attempting it, but it just wouldn’t seem to fit properly.
“Need some help up there?” Shauna asked.
“Shut up.”
Shauna answered with a quiet laugh.
“Fine,” Jackie said, her cheeks burning with humiliation. “You do it. I have no idea how this thing works.”
She was about to climb down on her own, but then Shauna’s arms slipped effortlessly around her waist, lifting her down to the floor in one swift motion. Instinctively, Jackie’s arm hooked around her shoulder for balance, bringing her face so close to Shauna’s that for a heartbeat she forgot how to breathe.
She instantly picked up on the scent—something fresh and masculine in Shauna’s cologne, mingling with the woody smell of the room. Jackie’s lips parted slightly, her eyes locked on Shauna’s for what felt like an eternity, watching how Shauna seemed to take her in just the same, her hands still firm around her waist.
“Shauna,” Jackie breathed out, her voice weak and trembling. “Let go of me.”
Even though every part of her body seemed to beg for the opposite, she forced herself to ignore it—for the sake of her own sanity.
At last, Shauna released her in silence.
She then climbed back onto the chair and quickly screwed in the new bulb, then stepped down.
“So, when do I get to meet your husband?”
“He’s not my husband yet,” Jackie crossed her arms, irritated by the question. “And I see you’re already eager to meet him?”
“Eager?”
“Should I be worried?” Jackie raised an eyebrow. “Last time I had a boyfriend, you fucked him.”
Shauna rolled her eyes. “Looks like you’re not going to drop that attitude all summer.”
“I think I should be worried,” Jackie continued, “because Jordan is just as much your type as Jeff. Blond, name starts with J, taken. Isn’t that your type?”
Shauna studied her silently for a moment, a faint smile tugging at her lips as she nodded. “It definitely is,” she said, her voice cocky and infuriating enough to make Jackie’s senses feel almost overloaded. “You know me well. Smart girl.”
Jackie bit the inside of her cheek. “Asshole.”
“Enough with that, Jackie,” Shauna shook her head. “Like I’d ever want your stupid boyfriend. Or husband. Whatever.”
“Jordan isn’t stupid.”
“I guess not completely,” Shauna grinned. “He does have good taste, I’ll give him that.”
Jackie swallowed hard, heat rushing to her cheeks at lightning speed.
“How did you even know I’m about to get married?”
“Your parents told me.”
“Why did they hire you?”
“Because I heard they needed someone at the ranch and I need the money,” Shauna shrugged. “So I asked, and they said yes.”
“My mother, always so considerate of me,” Jackie muttered with sarcasm.
“Look, Jackie,” Shauna said, her voice more serious this time, steady. “I’m not saying we need to go back to being best friends, but you should at least try to get along with me while you’re here. It’s not going to help if we’re fighting all the time.”
“Doesn’t seem like that’s my fault if it turns out that way.”
“Do whatever you want.”
“I will,” Jackie nodded. “And I’m leaving now—Jordan’s probably wondering why I’m taking so long.”
“Then don’t keep him waiting,” Shauna sighed. “Good night.”
And before Jackie could say anything else, the door closed with a soft click.
This only made her anger rise, so she stormed back to the house and searched everywhere for her mother, finally finding her in her room, getting ready for bed.
“Seriously, mom?” Jackie asked, her voice sharp with rage, realizing she’d spoken to her mother that way only a handful of times in her life. “Shauna? That’s the person you hired?”
Her mother looked startled, but then nodded firmly. “She needed a job, and she’s proven she’s good at it.”
“She’s my ex–best friend!”
“Leave whatever conflict you had with that girl in the past, Jacqueline. She’s here now, and I want you to get along with her.”
“This is just great,” Jackie let out a dry laugh, shaking her head. “First I’m forced to spend a whole summer at this ranch surrounded by horse shit, and now I also have to put up with Shauna being here. Just when I thought things couldn’t possibly get worse.”
She didn’t give her mother time to reply; she simply walked out of the room and went straight to take a long, refreshing shower.
By the time she came out, Jordan was already in bed, watching TV, waiting for her. Jackie shut the bedroom door with a huff of frustration and climbed onto the bed beside him.
He immediately leaned in, pressing a trail of wet kisses along her neck.
“Not tonight, Jordan,” she rolled her eyes, gently pushing him away. “I’m not in the mood.”
“Headache again?”
“No. I just… I really think the world’s against me right now.”
“What do you mean, babe?”
“Shauna Shipman,” Jackie swallowed hard. “She used to be my best friend—except before college I found out she’d been sleeping with my boyfriend behind my back and we never crossed paths again.”
“Ouch.”
“Right?”
“Just forget about that now, babe,” he smiled carelessly. “We’re about to get married, about to change our lives forever. Focus on that—it’ll cheer you up.”
Jackie smiled back—though it was, of course, a fake smile. Because she couldn’t tell Jordan that thinking about that only made her feel even more miserable.
So instead of saying anything, she simply turned onto her side and tried to fall asleep.
***
Shauna joined them for breakfast the next morning, so Jackie spent the entire meal without saying a word to her, limiting herself instead to shooting glances that were probably anything but subtle—secretly hoping Shauna wouldn’t notice.
Jordan introduced himself politely, and Shauna shook his hand formally before they all sat down, her seat ending up directly across from Jackie’s. If she noticed Jackie staring at her the whole time, she didn’t mention it.
After breakfast, Shauna disappeared from sight to get to work. Fixing whatever needed fixing around the ranch and feeding the animals, Jackie supposed. Whatever it was that people did in a ranch.
“So that’s Shauna,” Jordan remarked once they’d gone back to their room, sounding thoughtful. “She doesn’t really look like the type of girl who’d sleep with your boyfriend, honestly.”
Jackie frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Come on, babe, seriously?” he laughed. “She’s more masculine than I am. She looks like she’s packing a bigger dick than mine.”
Jackie blinked. “Yeah, well. People are full of surprises.”
“She doesn’t seem like a bad person.”
“You don’t know her well enough,” Jackie huffed. “Are you seriously saying all this to me? Should I be worried that my soon-to-be husband also wants to fuck my best friend?”
Jordan looked genuinely horrified at the suggestion. “Babe, believe me, she’s not my type at all,” he said with a laugh. “And if it makes you feel any better, I don’t think I’m hers either.”
***
Later that afternoon, while Jordan took a nap, Jackie slipped into one of the short dresses she’d packed—pretty much the only thing she’d brought for this vacation were sundresses and the occasional miniskirt. She had also, of course, bought two or three pairs of cowgirl-style boots, if only to find something enjoyable in the middle of what promised to be a hellish couple of months. If she was going to be miserable, she might as well look good doing it.
She’d even bought a pink cowgirl hat. Totally unnecessary, sure. But it looked so good on her that she couldn’t resist when she saw it in the store.
So, dressed in a sundress and boots, she set out to explore the ranch—or so she told herself out loud, at least. She’d already explored every inch of the place as a child, and though many years had passed, she remembered it as if it were yesterday. That ranch was unforgettable.
No, exploring the ranch wasn’t what she was doing. Deep down, she knew she was looking for Shauna.
She was just curious. That was all—just curious.
She found her in the stables, feeding the horses. Shauna was crouched down when Jackie first spotted her, wearing brown work pants and a plaid shirt buttoned at the top but left open at the bottom—revealing, to Jackie’s surprise, a stomach both soft and toned. And peeking out from the waistband of her pants were a pair of blue boxers, and against the fabric of her pants, Jackie thought she saw a small, firm bulge. She wasn’t sure if it was just the way the pants pressed or something else, but she couldn’t take her eyes away from it for a few seconds.
When Shauna stood and glanced at her, Jackie’s eyes immediately dropped to the exposed skin, glistening slightly with sweat. If Shauna noticed—and Jackie was embarrassed to admit she almost certainly had, given that subtlety had never been her strong suit—she said nothing. Again.
“What are you doing?” Jackie asked, breaking the silence with a touch of nervousness.
“Feeding the horses,” Shauna cleared her throat. “This one’s Miri,” she added with a smile, stroking the horse’s neck. “Isn’t she beautiful?”
Jackie nodded slowly, taking advantage of the fact that Shauna had turned her head towards the animal. Her jawline looked even sharper from that angle, a few beads of sweat collecting there, making Jackie’s breath catch for a moment.
Her eyes drifted back down to the bare stomach, and it was right then that Shauna looked back at her. This time, Jackie had no doubt Shauna had caught her staring. Probably had all the other times too—who was Jackie even trying to fool?
“You like what you see?” Shauna smirked. “You look like you’re dying for a ride.”
“Do I look like someone who rides horses?”
“Who said anything about horses?”
Jackie frowned, and only then did her cheeks flare with a mix of embarrassment and humiliation. She lowered her head slightly, though not before noticing the clear look of mockery and amusement in Shauna’s eyes.
“Shouldn’t you be with your husband?”
“I already told you we’re not married yet,” Jackie shot back, her tone edged. “And he’s taking a nap.”
“So you took the chance to wander all over the ranch looking for me.”
“I wasn’t looking for you,” Jackie rushed to defend herself, the lie sitting lightly on her tongue.
“Right,” Shauna sighed, leading the horse back into its stall. “You just happened to come to the stables.”
“This place belongs to my parents. I have every right to go wherever I please.”
“Fair enough.”
“Is this what you always imagined your life would be?”
Shauna laughed in return. “I could ask you the same thing,” she said. “Is this what you always imagined doing with your life?”
“You mean Jordan?”
“He seems nice,” Shauna shrugged. “I suppose he’ll make a good husband.”
“He is nice.”
“How is he in bed?” Shauna inquired, her voice calm and neutral. “Does he satisfy you?”
The bluntness of the question caught Jackie off guard, and she couldn’t help but feel irritated.
“And why the hell do you care how my boyfriend is in bed?”
“I don’t give a fuck about how your boyfriend is in bed.”
“Oh, really?” Jackie shot back. “Because it sure seems like you’re thinking about him a lot. What is it? I guess old habits never die.”
“You do know I never gave a fuck about Jeff, right?” Shauna answered with a dry chuckle.
God. She seemed incapable of taking anything Jackie said seriously, and it drove Jackie insane.
“Could’ve fooled me when you had your tongue down his throat.”
“Believe what you want, Jackie.”
“Great answer,” Jackie nodded sarcastically. “Very mature of you.”
“If you only came here to pick a fight—then please, go. I need to focus on what I’m doing, and I can’t do that with you whining every time I breathe.”
“But to answer your question,” Jackie continued, ignoring Shauna’s request. Even though she knew she didn’t owe anyone an explanation—least of all Shauna—she couldn’t help wanting to prove something to her. “Yes, Jordan satisfies me in bed. He’s very good.”
It didn’t even matter that she was lying—or even if it was obvious that she was. It was the thrill of not letting Shauna have the last word.
“I’m really happy for you, Jackie.”
“Shut up.”
Shauna huffed in response. “Can you just... leave me alone or something?”
The question only worsened Jackie’s mood.
“No,” she said.
“No?”
“I’m not leaving you alone, no,” she repeated, more confidently. “This place belongs to my parents, so I’ll do whatever I want.”
“Jesus,” Shauna shook her head in disbelief, “you’re even more spoiled and bratty than when we were in high school.”
“I think you need to shut up.”
“And I think you need someone to put you in your place with that damn bratty attitude,” Shauna shot back, her voice hard and commanding. “And don’t you dare tell me to shut up again, Jackie. You know perfectly well I hate being ordered around.”
Jackie swallowed, trying to stay firm. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“Fine. You can stay here and watch me work all you want, if that makes you feel better,” Shauna said, stepping closer as she spoke. “But you’ll behave and not bother me for the rest of the afternoon. Got it?”
Jackie couldn’t move when Shauna cupped her face in her hands, pressing lightly. All she could do was feel her breath catch.
“I asked you a question,” Shauna insisted. “Answer me.”
Her grip tightened around Jackie’s cheeks.
“I won’t bother you,” Jackie said softly, her voice weak. “I’ll just watch.”
Shauna responded with a satisfied smile, releasing her face—but not before giving her a small, quick slap. Subtle, playful even—but Jackie couldn’t stop the sensation of the soft hit traveling straight down between her thighs, nearly making her let out a quiet moan.
“That’s more like it,” Shauna nodded. “Now be quiet and let me do my work.”
***
Over the next few days, Jackie noticed something a little unusual in the room where Shauna was staying.
And this unusual activity involved girls. Girls who would spend the night there and leave the next morning. Jackie watched them closely, memorizing every detail of their faces—from the color of their eyes to whether their breasts were big or small.
There had been three so far, and one of them had been none other than Mari Ibarra, their former soccer teammate when they were in high school.
When she mentioned it to Jordan, he seemed unfazed.
“So what if she’s bringing girls over to fuck?”
Jackie blinked twice. “Okay, I never said anything about her fucking them.”
“You serious?” Jordan laughed. “What else could she be doing with them?”
“Okay—that’s not the point,” Jackie shot back immediately. “If anything, it makes it worse. Bringing those girls to my parents’ ranch? That’s incredibly disrespectful.”
She tried to convince herself that this was the real reason she was bothered by seeing those girls coming and going from Shauna’s room.
And of course, deep down, she knew Jordan was right. Shauna definitely brought them over for one purpose. And that purpose was sex.
How did Jackie know?
When the girls left the next day, they seemed to be walking a little funny.
***
She used any excuse to follow Shauna around the ranch, sometimes even hiding behind whatever she could find just to watch her work. Part of her knew what she was doing was pathetic, but she couldn’t help it.
Shauna worked with focus, her jaw tight, every move steady and strong. Sweat slid down from her temple, rolling over her cheek and down her neck, disappearing under her shirt. The fabric clung in places, outlining the lines of her body as she moved, and Jackie’s eyes kept catching on the way muscles flexed and shifted beneath her skin. The longer Jackie watched, the warmer it got in her chest, a magnetic pull low in her stomach that made it hard to look away.
The morning another girl left Shauna’s room, got into her car, and drove away, Jackie couldn’t take it anymore.
She had to do something. Say something.
It wasn’t even seven in the morning when she knocked on Shauna’s door, and Shauna opened it a few seconds later, dressed only in an oversized white T-shirt and boxer shorts.
“It’s not even seven in the morning, Jackie,” she murmured, her voice still groggy from sleep.
“Who are those girls you’re bringing here?”
“What?” Shauna chuckled.
“You’re fucking those girls who come to your room?” Jackie pressed on, refusing to back down. “Mari Ibarra… seriously?”
“Wow, look who’s the one interested in the other’s sex life now,” Shauna said. “Good morning to you too.”
“You didn’t answer my question.”
“And I’m not going to,” Shauna replied with a grin. “See you at breakfast in a bit.”
And she closed the door, leaving Jackie more furious than ever.
How was she supposed to survive those two months with Shauna?
She couldn’t stand her.
She really couldn’t.
***
That same afternoon, taking advantage of the fact that Shauna was working, Jackie rushed into her room in search of any proof—anything—that would show Shauna was actually sleeping with those girls.
Why she cared so much… she preferred not to think about it.
To her luck, Shauna had left her door unlocked, so Jackie could get in without any problem. Once inside, she started searching for anything: a hairpin, any piece of clothing that clearly didn’t belong to Shauna, the scent of a perfume that wasn’t hers. Anything.
She found nothing, and only the small bathroom at the back of the room remained to be investigated. When she stepped in, everything seemed in order. Shauna kept everything clean and neatly arranged, which irritated Jackie even more.
She crouched down and opened one of the bathroom drawers, coming across a box that immediately caught her attention. When she opened it, her cheeks flushed instantly as she realized it was nothing less than a collection of cocks. Different colors and sizes, some so big that Jackie could only gaze at them, almost breathless. At the bottom of the box lay a harness, one of the dildos—a purple one—attached to the O-ring.
With her cheeks flushed and definitely feeling a kind of heat she knew she shouldn’t be feeling in her body, she closed the box again and put it back in its place.
She hurried to leave the bathroom when suddenly the bedroom door opened and Shauna walked in, her eyes fixed on Jackie in pure confusion.
Fuck.
“This is the last straw,” Shauna said. “You’re following me around like a little lapdog and now you’re sneaking into my room without permission?”
Jackie inhaled sharply. “I’m not following you around.”
“You’re pathetic, Jackie,” Shauna murmured. “Honestly, you almost make me feel a little sorry for you. You really need someone to take care of you…”
“As if you you’d ever know what I need.”
“I think you should start questioning why picking fights with me turns you on more than having sex with your husband,” Shauna said.
That immediately enraged Jackie.
More than that—it made her feel humiliated.
“How often does your husband fuck you?” Shauna pressed.
Husband.
That stupid word again.
“Wow, you truly are interested in my sex life,” Jackie swallowed hard.
“Says the girl who just barged into my room looking for anything to prove I’m fucking those girls.”
Jackie stiffened, instantly feeling embarrassed. “That’s not what I was doing,” she stammered. “I was just curious.”
“Curious about how two girls have sex? You want a lesson?”
“I know how lesbian sex works,” Jackie defended herself. “I wasn’t born yesterday.”
“You didn’t answer my question,” Shauna said, smiling, self-confident. “I guess the answer is… not very often.”
“Why do you even care?”
“Because I do.”
“Well, sometimes I have a headache,” Jackie protested. “Sometimes I’m tired. I can always take care of myself afterward.”
“Take care of yourself?” Shauna raised her eyebrows, completely surprised. “Also—tired, really? When you’re probably just lying there doing nothing.”
“What the hell do you care what I do or don’t do in bed?”
“Says the girl who bangs on my door at six-thirty in the morning to find out who I’m fucking.”
“You know what?” Jackie shot back, her eyes locked on Shauna’s with a boldness she had no idea where she’d pulled from. “You’re right. It’s none of my business, and I don’t care. I don’t give a damn who you’re sleeping with.”
“Sure you don’t.”
“I really couldn’t care less,” she repeated, though the stupid grin on Shauna’s face only made her anger burn hotter. “I’ve got enough just putting up with you here. I thought after these three years you might have changed a little, but you’re only more arrogant and full of yourself than ever.”
She brushed past Shauna, her shoulder nearly grazing hers, the mix of her cologne and deodorant flooding into Jackie’s nostrils—warm, sharp, intoxicating, the kind of scent that made her want to close her eyes and sink into it.
“You’re the one insisting on fighting with me,” Shauna said with a frown, her voice calm, maddeningly reasonable. “I was the one who said I wanted us to get along, and all you’ve done since is follow me around and pick fights. You need to grow up a little, Jackie.”
Jackie’s eyes betrayed her, lingering on Shauna’s arms, sunburnt in places and streaked with dirt and hay. For some reason, the sight struck her as dangerously tempting. Her gaze slipped higher, unable to stop itself, following the curve of sweat beading at Shauna’s neck.
“I really can’t stand you,” Jackie snapped, though her voice wavered just enough to betray her. Still, she pushed through. “And I can’t wait for you to leave this ranch and finally get out of my life.”
Shauna let out a dry chuckle, eyes flashing with something sharp. “You’re so desperate for me to fuck you it’s almost cute.”
Jackie’s cheeks burned hot with humiliation. “You’re insane,” she snapped. “You really think you’re that important?”
“You think I don’t see you trailing after me like some pathetic little lapdog? I catch you hiding out, staring while I work like you can’t help yourself. Trust me—whatever game you think you’re playing, you’re not even close to subtle.”
Jackie’s stomach tightened, a low heat pooling between her legs despite every ounce of frustration coursing through her. “You’re unbelievable,” she hissed, jaw clenching. “You… you think you can just—”
“What?” Shauna pressed, letting out a slow, deliberate sigh. “It’s not my fault you’re so obvious. Shouldn’t you be spending time with your boyfriend? Soon enough you’ll be a married woman, and I don’t think drooling after me is going to save your pathetic little marriage.”
“Leave Jordan out of this.”
“Whatever. Done yet? I need to take a shower.”
Jackie swallowed, a sharp, frustrated gesture tightening her throat. Before she could say anything else, she turned around and walked away instead.
When she walked into the house, her parents and Jordan were playing a board game in the main living room. She heard them call her to join, but all of Jackie’s senses felt completely shut down.
She slammed her bedroom door behind her before locking it.
That same night, after a long shower, she sat for a while on the chair by the entryway, alone. Jordan had asked if she wanted company, but she’d told him she needed a little time to herself before heading back to her room.
So there she was, watching the fields being swallowed by the darkness of night when the door to Shauna’s room suddenly opened. Shauna stepped out, wearing slightly loose denim jeans and an oversized blue t-shirt. She gave Jackie a quick glance before moving on. She made her way towards the barn, a lantern swinging in one hand. Jackie could see her pause at the edge of the field, then kneel to snip a few stray branches and weeds that had started creeping along the fence line.
Then, she grabbed the hose from the barn, turning on the water and spraying down the fence, scrubbing away dirt and mud.
She turned around for a moment and gave Jackie a smile. “Wanna get a little wet?” she asked teasingly. “Although I think you already take care of that yourself.”
Jackie didn’t say anything, the words making her stomach twist and her heart race in a way she struggled to hide.
A little later, back in her room, her mind kept looping over Shauna moving across the field, the way her arms shifted with every motion, her intoxicating scent, the tiny beads of sweat sliding down her jaw and along her neck. Jackie couldn’t understand why she couldn’t get the image out of her head—especially considering how much she’d always hated seeing Jordan all sweaty. She thought of all the times he had been, stepping close to kiss or hug her, and she would just gently push him away, smiling, telling him to go take a shower before trying to kiss her all sweaty.
So she didn’t really understand what was happening to her.
That night, she was expected to have sex with Jordan. Jackie did the following mental calculation: if she’d spent more than a week telling him she wasn’t in the mood, or that she had a headache, or even pretending she was on her period—even knowing there was a chance Jordan could see through her lie—then after that, there was no way around it. She’d have to give him the “reward” of sex.
Once Jordan climbed on top of her and started kissing her like a panting, desperate dog, Jackie shut her eyes—and before she could stop herself, the image of Shauna flashed in her mind: leaning forward to haul a bale of hay, her biceps flexing slightly as beads of sweat ran down along them.
Jordan began to thrust, his ragged breaths filling the room. Jackie kept her eyes shut as more and more flashes of Shauna invaded her mind—until, when she finally opened them, she saw Shauna on top of her instead, eyes locked on hers as her hips pressed forward with steady, deliberate thrusts.
Jackie could only let out a soft moan, and for the first time, it wasn’t one of those fake, porn-like sounds she usually made—it was a real moan.
As real as Shauna felt in that moment.
Her hips lifted to meet Shauna’s, whose dark eyes stayed locked on Jackie, almost burning into her. Jackie’s breath came in sharp, desperate gasps as Shauna’s weight pressed her deeper into the mattress, every push sending heat spiraling through her body. She could feel the flex of Shauna’s muscles against her, the hard lines of her thighs spreading her open, the strength in her arms as they braced on either side of her.
Jackie’s fingers clutched at her shoulders, nails scraping lightly over damp fabric, dragging down until she found bare skin. The heat of it made her dizzy. The scent was unmistakable—Shauna’s sweat, her cologne still lingering faintly beneath it, salt and warmth and something she could drown in.
Shauna leaned closer, lips brushing the edge of her jaw, the corner of her mouth, until Jackie turned just enough to catch them. The kiss was hungry, rough, pulling another moan from her, deeper this time, her body arching up in need.
The friction grew unbearable, sharp pleasure winding tighter and tighter inside her until she was trembling, her thighs pressing up against Shauna’s hips, begging silently for more. And when release finally hit, it was like nothing she had ever felt before—hot, shaking, breaking her open with a flood that left her gasping, clutching at Shauna as if she might disappear.
Jackie came, wholly, completely—and for the first time in her life, it wasn’t fake.
When she finally opened her eyes, reality slipped back in with a disappointment that made her gaze drop softly. Jordan was still on top of her, trying to catch his breath.
Jackie moved quickly, subtly shifting him to the side and slipping out from underneath him.
“Fuck, babe,” she heard him pant behind her. “That was amazing.”
Jackie swallowed hard, her mind drifting back to Shauna again as she cleared her throat, trying to block out the annoying, unbearable sound of Jordan’s voice behind her.
The only thing she could focus on was Shauna. Real or imagined, she was there—and she didn’t seem intent on leaving Jackie alone for even a single second.
This was going to be the longest summer of Jackie’s life.
***
A little while after breakfast the next day, she found Shauna near the chicken coop, stretched out lazily on a pile of hay right beside the well. She looked like she was taking a short break, eyes closed, her breathing soft and almost hypnotic.
The moment she heard footsteps nearby, her eyes slid open slowly. Her gaze landed on Jackie, calm, steady—though she didn’t look the least bit surprised to see her.
“What do you want now?” she asked. “You wanna argue about the weather?”
Jackie didn’t say a word. Instead, her lips parted, releasing a shaky breath before she moved impulsively towards Shauna, her knees hitting the grass as her hand fisted the fabric of Shauna’s shirt, shattering the moment with a hard, desperate kiss.
Shauna responded with a mix of surprise and raw intensity, her lips warm and receptive. Jackie kissed her in a messy, almost uncoordinated way, not following any steady rhythm—driven instead by the restless desire burning low in her belly, clouding every trace of reason.
She moaned against Shauna in a way that felt almost pathetic to herself. She wanted—no, needed—more, but the tiniest bit of reason still flickered in her mind, forcing her to reluctantly pull away. She tore herself from the kiss, lips glistening, leaving behind the embarrassing evidence of her own desperation.
It wasn’t the first time she’d done this—kissing Shauna. Those memories of long slumber party nights, filled with “practice” kisses that felt far too real to be just practice, were always tucked away in a corner of Jackie’s mind.
Recalling her own words to Shauna a few days ago, she guessed she was right, at the end of the day.
Old habits really never die.