Chapter Text
Tuesday, April 10th
It took approximately 2 weeks for Kris Dreemurr to be threatened with expulsion after spring break, and for once in their life (for the 28th time), it was for something they didn’t actually do. They only had a year left until they were thrust into adulthood (barring any hiccups unrelated to the dreaded resets), so why would they wait until now to attempt to poison a teacher? Much less the one teacher that didn’t question (that often) why they disappeared from class all of the time. She was a fool, but not an idiot, and even she pointed out that there was no proof it was Kris. Even she thought it was probably a bad sample of those snacks she always got off the internet.
Regardless, principal King thought otherwise, but considering the fates of the other two human students when they were younger, they were pretty sure King was trying to get rid of the remaining human population in the town. It couldn't be a coincidence. They flicked their lighter a few times, chewing the cig between their teeth until the flame finally caught. The smoke settled their nerves faster than they'd like to admit. They don’t remember how long it’d been since they picked up the habit, maybe on the fifteenth run, but it made the dread settle in their lungs instead of their stomach for what was about to happen as they pulled their blade from its sheathe on the back of their belt.
One of the previous humans was found tangled in the television wires running above town, a supposed copycat killer, but whoever did it didn’t strike a second time in the last 6 years. The other was a known troublemaker, like Kris, but that human’s trouble tended to lean more violent. Not that Kris was an angel themselves, they thought as they ran their finger along the dulled edge. That person had moved three years ago back to the big city. Part of them hoped they were doing better. The other part of them hoped they never came back.
The butterfly that no one else could see seemed to think of that person being shaken and it sounding like a box of rocks. They were inclined to agree with it, for once.
The butterfly liked to do that, putting thoughts into their head that they knew weren't theirs. Most of the time the thoughts were random, but the last run had taken a more violent turn than they’d like to remember. They could still taste the ice on their tongue despite the years passing, still see the fear in Noelle's eyes. They shook their head, focusing their willpower as they took a deep breath. It got easier with every run.
They went to plunge the blade into the closet, whispering the name of the tyrant under their breath, when their hands froze. Locked, like a wind up doll without its key. They stared as their hand put the blade back into their sheath with mechanical precision and pulled the still burning cigarette from their mouth and stamped it into the tile floor. It left it there, not bothering to clean up its evidence. It felt smug.
It went to lunch, while they were forced to the back seat of their own body, again. It was always in such a rush, eager for something, yet now it was taking its sweet, sweet time as it spoke to Catti and Jockington about some curse on a Japanese high school. Something about a cursed mask that killed whoever wore it, from what little they bothered paying attention to as they fought for control back. At the least it ate, although the food tasted like ash on their tongue. They didn’t know if that was part of the possession, or if that’s how the creature tasted it. Vile.
By the time they had control over their own body again, stomach full despite the lingering taste of burn, they walked back to the supply closet. The thick, inky darkness leaked from the door’s edges, steadily wrapping its tendrils around everything it could touch and dragging the paper cigarette under the door. They knew what awaited them in the dark, but the short delay...that wasn't a variable they thought of. Any tiny thing could cause a drastic shift and somehow the unknown was worse.
This was always supposed to end with them dying, in some way. Often to sound of rattling chains hunting them down like a cat with its mouse, once by their own hand, a few by King's demonic soldiers. Still, the sparkling purple fields awaited, and the darkness held them close as they were drawn into the other world like they were sinking into the ocean waves.
They tucked and rolled and lost control of their movements as the parasite took full control. Their vision was tinted blue from the visor it formed as their armor materialized around them, and its movements were shaky at best as it stood up, having to readjust to wearing armor for the first time in at the least 3 years. It shook itself off, skipping off to do whatever it intended to do today with the biggest grin on their face. The metal was noisy as Kris stopped paying attention. It hurt less when it caught them off guard, whenever it came around.
Hometown was a small town- more village, and when they were younger it was legally defined as a hamlet- on the eastern coast. They’d lived there since they were a child, since the Dreemurrs took them in, and it had everything they ever needed. The most interesting thing about it was the giant creature living in the lake, and that there was a locked nuclear bunker sitting locked away in the forest. There was rumors about cabins in the woods and cults of elder gods, but in all the years they'd not seen anything like that.
The college Azzie was going to was only a bus ride away in the big city, even though he rarely came to visit anymore between work, school, volunteering, and his new friends. He had tried to get Kris to pick a major that would work well there so that they could try and move into the same house together, but Azzie was going to graduate in only two more years. There wasn't a point to it at that rate- they'd be alone, and he'd leave them again.
Thinking of the future made Kris sick to their stomach. Each loop made it feel farther and farther away yet it continued to creep closer. Mom was moving on from the divorce, even if Dad wasn’t. Asriel was gone, enjoying time with other people his age like that trio of brown haired humans that always seemed to follow him around (or, more likely, he was following them around). Noelle was working on dual enrollment at the behest of her mother (she hadn't admitted it to them this run. That was five runs ago, she just never brought it up again) . Dess was gone, vanished without a trace again. And Angel only knows whatever was going on with their uncle's side of the family- he went radio silent after the fire in 2013 and has only just recently been seen out of his penthouse. It just left them, alone in knowing what was happening to them, and the heart-winged bug.
They still had to answer Mom about the whole picking-a-major thing. Not like they ever lived long enough to see it, but she reacted differently each time. She seemed less than amused last time, when they said they'd major in Casino Dealing. Thanatology would be interesting to see a reaction to. Maybe they'd see how she's react to a major in Citrus.(Hey, they thought briefly as they stopped to pay attention to whatever the butterfly had started doing in their body. It seemed to be...flirting with some heart shaped demons who swooned into the flattery. The hell.)
Ultimately, their body ran itself back into the ring of light that had formed near where they had landed, this time followed by a small group of the heart shapes and a far larger gaggle of knife throwers. It lifted their visor to a blow an over-dramatic kiss to the eager crowd as the rattling of chains got steadily closer and closer, leaping into the light. A silver speck zipped past their leg with incredible speed, missing by centimeters. Whatever the speck hit, it caused a large explosion off in the distance, as they felt the parasite stick their tongue out at the source. The large demon, cloaked in a bloody bag and a coat with rattling chains, stared as they floated upwards into the real world.
Landing back on their feet and stumbling out of the dark closet, Kris felt control slowly return to their body as the last of the other world faded. They took a deep breath, shaky as the nausea from the return hit them hard. The first time was always the worst, no matter how many runs they had made. The world spun around them until they felt the tile hit their knees, then their face. It was not the first time.
Oh, Mom was not going to be happy about that! Nope, nada!
Kris found themselves laying on a floor next to an elegant indigo piano, a man with a blindfold and heavily worn hands playing the keys gently as he mouthed a series of numbers silently. A woman with tall black and white hair in the shape of horns leaned down from her microphone to grab their bony wrists. Her voice was strong yet wordless as she sang, not missing a moment even as she pulled them up with ease. She smiled as they stood, shaking, as she turned back to the microphone that grew from the tile. An endless ocean surrounded them, crashing against the chunk of building they found themselves stranded on. The sky above was pitch black and writhing.
The two continued to perform together as a chair of stone and tile began to form from the abyss Kris found themselves. Beyond, sitting on what appeared to be an arrangement of rocks in the wine dark sea, sat a strange man with a long nose faded in shadow. They couldn’t hear what he was saying, but he gestured to another pair of figures, and then to the faint haze in a younger human shape sitting across from him that burned red like a faint ember. There was cards in front of them, which the haze seemed to move rapidly around.
The woman did not stop her song for a moment as she shrugged off a large, fluffy white coat and draped it over their shoulders. The pianist nodded to the chair. They said nothing. Time passed. One of the pair of figures in the distance- tall, dark, wearing a mask of obsidian- seemed to be staring at them. They seemed, despite their faceless nature, almost smug. It gestured to the other of the pair- tall, pale with dark hair and a white mask, and then to the hazy figure. The other one seemed to shake their head at the other, who laughed.
Kris woke up in the school infirmary with a start, still draped in the large cloak the woman had covered them in. Their head pounded and burned as the bright red menace of a bug fluttered around their head. It glowed and glimmered like the crystal it was tied to, and was just as much of a pain in the ass. They could almost hear it giggling, which they knew wasn't physically possible.
Thankfully, as they rubbed their forehead, there was only one other person in the infirmary with them even if the door was wide open. She sat alone, practically Christmas personified in her bright green and red checkered sweater and bauble earrings. Their deer friend, even if things had changed between them. It had changed even before it snowed. Noelle was reading something on her phone, clearly focused on whatever was on her screen. They bet fanfiction. The butterfly bet schoolwork. She spooked as they sat up, curling the cloak around themselves as she nearly dropped her phone. They won the bet.
“Kris! Cheezus, you scared me half to death!” she said, grabbing her phone as she gave a nervous grin. It was charming, they had to give her that. She looked exhausted, though. More so than usual.
The parasite let them talk, deathly silent as it fluttered around her antlers. They steeled themselves, attempting to ignore the urge to lunge at the winged bastard. It didn’t seem to notice.
“Sorry...took a nap…?” they said, keeping their voice quiet. Noelle stood next to the bed, grin fading and only concern remaining.
“In the hallway? You almost got trampled!” She leaned closer, placing the back of her hand on Kris’ forehead. They let themselves lean into her touch, despite the frown on their face. “You’ve not been acting right and now this?”
They waved her hand away, turning to look elsewhere as the butterfly mentally played some sort of saxophone in their head. Rude. “I’m okay, just...forget it, please.”
Noelle frowned. “You have a fever, though. Just...y-you know if you need me I’m still around! Bes-sides there’s the school project and...uh...Berdly and I are planning to working on it in the library!” She glanced around the room, especially towards the door as the person they knew she had a huge crush on passed by with her ragged backpack slung over her shoulder.
Kris tugged at their ear, piercings missing. They thought they had done them again this time, eye twinging in annoyance at the fact they had forgotten. “Maybe...later. Busy week….”
Their body snapped to attention, getting a shriek out of Noelle and curious looks from the crowd outside. “We could do a study session on Saturday! I think we’ll have what we’re busy with done finished by then, any-whos-els! And we could use a break before the speeches!” Its voice rang tinny and screechy from their throat, similar to a microphone in a feedback loop.
“T-That’s true, I guess! Angel, Kris, you need to stop doing that!” Noelle’s smile cracked slightly, moving slightly away from their puppeted body. She began to turn when the parasite grabbed her hand in both of theirs, holding it gently as it smiled.
“I’ll bring the snacks! My treat!”
Her smile faltered slightly, tugging her hand away. “Regina w-wouldn’t be very happy with us! We...could save it for later! That works, right? Right Kris?”
“Perfect, my friend! I’ll save them for later!” the butterfly said as Kris’ body went slack before they were able to catch it. They almost heaved with the force of the coughing coming from their chest as they scrambled to control their body before it fell off the bed. Noelle patted their back, concern clear on her face. They just wheezed as she helped them lay back down, holding their hand. Not the parasite's puppet strings. Theirs.
“Fucking...fuck…” they said as they laid back down. Their stomach twisted in protest of the possession, but it seemed to have quieted the butterfly as it lazily fluttered around the room. “Noelle can you...call Momma please...oww….”
“I called her earlier. I can...stay until she gets here?”
“Please,” they said, the taste of ice in the air on their tongue. They died taking control back from the parasite, splitting the crystal into shards with a well placed jab of a thorn into the imperfections crisscrossing its surface and running deeper than they thought. They could feel when their heart stopped as the parasite died with them. They woke up on the day of their 14th birthday, smiling faces all around them as they walked down into a sleepy surprise party. It hadn’t tried anything like anything like that again, yet, and it had spent the last three years nearly silent despite the desperation radiating off of it.
If they didn’t know better than to never trust the thing, they’d think it was apologizing.
Noelle stayed until their Mom got there, picking them up like they were still that scared child she had taken home the day they first met from the hospital, and carried them back to the car. The van used to help them sleep when they were younger, and it still sometimes had that effect. They woke back up in their bed, not yet ready to face whatever bullshit the butterfly (now sitting on top of the crystal embedded in their chest, the source of whatever it was) had planned for them.
Thursday, April 12th
The had to miss a day, spending it in the human hospital a few hours out from Hometown being peppered with questions, but by the time they were back in class the next day they were ready. Mr King was out of the building on some sort of professional development day (Likely gambling, Kris thought, considering the card theme of the demons they’d seen so far), so there was little to no chance of getting caught. Most of the students ignored them, after all.
There was only one. Small. Problem.
They were supposed to go with Susie to the storage closet. The same one that was currently overflowing with the fountain, and the one that would bring them to the other world if they stepped through it. Susie might be spared, at the least. Ms Alphys had all of her chalk go missing, and picked the last two to enter the room to go get a replacement. That would have been fine, especially if they went alone. But the fountain was a large problem, and it was steadily getting larger.
They could handle being shoved into a locker and getting death threats, that was a normal Thursday at 1:30pm in April, but they didn’t know how the hell they’d make sure she got out alive too if she fell into the other world. The fluttering red bastard seemed excited, flying in circles around the lizard’s head like an overly excited dog. It was excited, and that feeling crept up their spine like pins through bone. There was no other explanation. It had to have done something to set this up.
The door creaked open as Susie kept them pinned, saying something about getting kicked out for something really big with her teeth and drool next to their face. They’d heard similar from her in past experiences, although their focus was elsewhere. It hadn’t held any effect since the first time, just letting themselves remain in place as the parasite spun in circles and the darkness pushed forth.
The void bubbled, reaching through the opened door as the butterfly slammed into their chest. They could feel their joints locking as the inky blackness began to seep out like bubbling oil as it bled into reality. The fountain was expanding, and they blinked as it moved to consume them. Susie yelled as she was grabbed by the dark, pulling the both of them into the pulsating sea of nothingness. She looked, for a brief moment as the blue took over their vision, afraid.
The thought of the Sea of Souls came to mind as they let their mind wander, watching their actions through the haze of the visor the butterfly wore. The parasite had used that term before, or at the least pulled it into their brain. Another few terms stuck, as well. Metaverse, Midnight Channel, Labyrinths, Kingdoms, all connected in some way. It meant nothing to them. It didn't matter, really, it was just another round in an awful place.
It landed, brushing itself off as it landed with a roll before popping back up. Creaking, it sat next to the lizard lady, checking her pulse. Alive. Perfect! It didn’t kill anyone this time! It still felt bad for the absolute mess it had left when it did try to kill everything, after all. Ooooh Kris never looked at it the same after THAT mess, no sir-ee. It didn’t look the same to itself either. They didn't like giving into the temptation.
It was always cold in the other world, but it never seemed to bother the parasite despite wearing armor and a unitard. Every step drained their energy, rotting away at their soul. The beauty of the crystalline grass and sparkling trees was nothing compared to the pain. The still air felt like they were drowning on land, their thoughts becoming heavy and sluggish.
It bounced around, occasionally running to check back on its new lizard friend. Yes! Friend, a friend! But a mortal couldn’t be alone in the Dark World for long! Oh no no no! Chronos would have none of that, and his pesky little hunters would get her if she stayed still! It was bad enough that it let them catch it off guard before it had enough strength to figure out how to pilot this body, much less make the little sparks of time manipulation Papa and Pops taught it. Did they still go by that? It didn’t know. It hadn’t seen them in oh so long, even if it had only technically been a day! Besides, the poor dear would be so confused when she woke up! Oh it didn't think this plan through at all!
Their family had been through a lot. They knew their sudden arrival, even with open arms, had caused strife between their parents. Their brother loved them, but the silence was deafening. He had other things to do. It didn’t matter what they did, they couldn’t wash their hands clean of what happened before they came to Hometown and they knew it weighed heavily on the family. They didn't need them to know the details.
It met a few new shadows, even! One of which decided to join it in the adventure, and even gave tips and tricks on how to better perform for its exterior audience! The interior one never paid attention anymore, much to its despair. Oh but the outside one was fantastical! The little goat shadow with its own ego, enough to summon his own mask! Xiezhi’s healing magic made things easily a hundred times better! Even if it glared at its summoner, fire in its snout.
Even all of their attempts at friendships through the resets had been in vain. No one could stay. No one had the ability to stay. The only constant through their life had been the memories before the crystal was shoved in, and the crystal itself. Not even their scars stayed with them, just the one from their first death, and the ones from before they came Home.
The parasite was talking to someone, something about a prophecy as their hands were moved to pluck at the purple grass and to sprinkle it on Susie’s head. A twitch. An opening. Prophecies weren’t to be trusted, not after what it had done. Not after the fire, not after the beeping machines, not after the death for all that never came.
They wrestled control away from the intruder, their clawed gauntlet clacking loudly as they pushed their hand to their chest and grasped at the hard metal of their breastplate, missing the crystal as they scrabbled to punch through. The goat demon in front of them jumped back, seemingly alarmed and talking, but they moved to ripping at the straps of the breastplate. The leather was tougher than they thought, the claws making it harder to grab at the buckles.
Their other hand, still puppet strung, grabbed their wrist as the shadow fawned over them, gently grabbing their shaking and clawing hand in a soft, padded paw. An unnatural warmth flooded them before they felt empty, the blue haze over their eyes coming off as the shadow’s other hand slowly slipped their visor off.
“Hi there,” he said, voice soft. “You’re Kris, right? I'm sorry I had to use magic on you, but you looked really scared.”
The butterfly was gone. Or, it felt gone enough. It felt tethered but distracted. Kris shook their head as the warmth began to fade, breathing hard even though it felt like swallowing sludge.
“I’m Ralsei. It’s good to finally meet you!” The shadow held their wrist still, rubbing the thin red leather that wrapped around the joint and into the bright red glove underneath. “I’m sure you’re confused, but we’re safe here. This is a safe spot, where no hostile shadows will be able to find us.”
Kris just froze, blinking one eye at a time as they realized that for the first time, they had full control over their body in the other world. The creeping dread eating at their soul was so much worse without the distraction of the fluttering red bastard’s numbness.
“T-The fuc-”
“Please don’t freak out! I’m sorry I’m sure you’re confused but you’re going to be okay! I promise!”
“It- Where-”
“It’s currently in the Velvet Room. It might take a while, but we’re in a safe zone! So even the Reaper can’t find us right now!”
“Y-you’re a demon.”
“I’m...not actually? I’m a shadow! Everyone has a shadow, I just...don’t have a person. I can explain more later but...I just want you to know I’m here if you ever want to talk! The Δ shouldn’t be able to hear you while it’s busy in the other room, at the least if it visits while you’re still awake.” He gave a smile that didn't quite reach the eyes behind the thick glasses he wore. His scarf curled around him tightly.
It took a moment for them to process it. “So I’m...free?”
“For a little bit. How are you feeling? You’re not...really supposed to be here on your own. It’s dangerous for those who haven’t accepted their own shadows to be here.” Ralsei sat down, checking Susie’s pulse. “She should wake up soon. I think she’s talking to her Shadow right now.”
Kris stayed silent, just sitting next to the goat demon (“Shadow,” they heard in the back of their mind.) with their armored knees pulled up to their chest. They caught a quick glimpse of the number on one of their belts, a flickering 28. The light on it went out.
“She’ll probably be sickly for a little while after she accepts it. Most people tend to pass out not long after their awakening. You’d do the same if it weren’t for the...circumstances.” Ralsei gave a soft smile under his hat, pawing at his cheek with a timidness that reminded them of Noelle when she was young. “I can sense they’re almost done. Is there anything you’d like for me to tell Δ?”
“That they can go to hell.” They curled in tighter on themselves, the faint wish to rip the crystal out fading as their joints began to lock up again. Ralsei ran his clawed thumb over their wrist, giving a sad smile as it came back and lowered the visor again, grinning at him.
“I will...pass something like that along. I hope you rest well.”
The rest of the day was a blur, waking up outside of the other side- the real side- with a barely conscious Susie half leaning on them, both of them covered in what looked like blood and ink, and a small goat was sitting to their side as they stumbled out together. Ralsei gave a small ‘baa’ before speaking, as if it was the most normal thing in the world for him to be a regular miniature goat. He was small enough he was able to fit in Kris’ backpack, for Angel’s sake!
At the least the infirmary was close, they thought as they slowly dragged the monster practically draped over them to the padded table despite her curses and comments. Only a few hours had passed, so the only people still in the building were the extracurricular groups. Which did unfortunately mean most of their classmates were still in the building, but it also meant the younger kids were out and doing their own thing and wouldn’t have to possibly run into this whole issue. The last thing they needed was for Mom to pass by with a gaggle of children and see the absurd amount of not-quite gore covering the trio.
Kris just slumped into one of the chairs, groaning. They remembered they got attacked by some small blue and white demon (“Kris! I don't think that was a Shadow at all,” Ralsei said. They should not have heard that and they didn't want to wrap their head around the fact they heard that), and Susie had teamed up with it for a little while before she started getting sick. Sick enough that Ralsei had helped them to a safe room and through the pillar of light that formed for the exit. The demon looked worried too.
The butterfly was easily distracted when it came back, jolting their flesh back into submission as the red leather seemed to tighten around the joints. They fought back, but it was quickly jumping around like an excited brat seeing everything for the first time, as if it wasn’t the 28th time they’d seen the same fields of crystal grass and sparkling trees. Ralsei, at the least, seemed to keep it mostly in line.
The issue is that the bastard seemed intent on being almost overly chummy with the enemies. They knew it had been flirting with the heart shaped demons but the voice coming out from their mouth felt strange, like sandpaper dredged through maple syrup. It hugged the dummy in the shape of the shadow goat (and the shadow goat himself, who had become flustered) and eagerly shoved the manual Ralsei had given them into a pocket under their cape that didn't normally exist. They’re still not sure how that worked.
“She seems like she’ll make a fully recovery, even though I can’t say her awakening was a standard one.” The small goat circled around the bed, eventually climbing up top with a quick leap. “I didn’t expect something like this to happen. I was told that the two of you would arrive separately. I don’t...I don’t understand….”
The parasite seemed proud of that, like it did something unexpected. It fluttered around and landed on one of Ralsei’s horns. They stared at it. It stared back. Ralsei awkwardly shuffled under the combined weight of intense gazes.
“B-But anyways! I think you did really good, Kris! I’m not sure how much of it you remember.” He looked up at them, shaking the butterfly off his head. Strangely, he still had his glasses and hat, and wore his scarf as well.
“None.”
“Ah...I-I’m sorry! I...just….”
“I’m used to it.” Kris reached for their pocket, finding their lighter had been emptied of its fluid for the fourth time that week. They’d have to stop at that new store that opened up on the way to school and deal with the wisecracking skeleton again because the parasite kept trying to drink the stuff.
The shadow looked down, then at Susie still out sick on the bed with her eyes barely opened and a grimace on her face. She groaned. He sat down, sulking. Ultimately, the infirmary became a pile of misery and sickness for the second time that week. Except for the butterfly, who had the same energy as an excited dog.
What a mess.