Chapter Text
“Xichen, where is Wangji?”
Lan Qiren speaks with a frown between his eyebrows, crossing his arms and tapping his foot with anxiety.
“Ah, he must be out with his friend again,” the brown-eyed man says calmly while tying his shoelaces, glancing back at his uncle before standing up.
“It’s been like this for more than a month! That boy—he shouldn’t be going out that often…especially not with a man who lives in the mountains. Who knows what that— that—freak wants from Wangji!”
The older man continues tapping his foot against the floor, the wood slightly creaking, only causing the pain in his chest to tighten.
“Uncle, Wangji is already twenty-three. There is no need to worry so much. If anything, I’m happy he finally has someone besides us.”
Lan Xichen says as he steps closer and places a hand on his uncle’s shoulder.
“Besides…that day is getting closer. I believe he will need a friend’s support.”
“…If anything, he should seek support from us.”
With those final words, both men leave the house, stepping outside and opening their umbrellas. Lan Qiren stares at the cloudy pink sky, raindrops falling against his face. This weather…reminds him of the day Wangji disappeared not too long ago. He wonders if perhaps his brother would have known how to approach his son—if Wangji might have trusted his father enough to open up to him instead of his uncle.
With heavy footsteps, he decides to ignore the ache in his heart once more, trying not to remember the days when his brother was still around.
-
"Was the food of your liking, Uncle?"
Lan Xichen steps inside the house and closes his umbrella, placing it in the corner and taking off his shoes with a smile.
"It was decent," says the older man while taking off his coat, placing it over his arm and calmly stepping into the living room. Where, to his surprise, he notices Lan Wangji reading a book—but that is not the surprising part. What truly catches his attention is the fact that his nephew has maybe five other books stacked next to him on the sofa.
"...Wangji, I believed I had taught you not to be messy."
Lan Qiren walks toward the young man and tries to take one of the books, but it gets snatched away.
With his hand still hanging in the air, brown eyes look back at Lan Wangji, who is already stepping away with the six books pressed to his chest.
"Excuse me, Uncle. I shall take them upstairs."
Just as he is about to leave, Lan Qiren steps in front of him.
"Wangji, you didn't accompany us for dinner."
The frown is already visible.
"We wished you would've come with us."
The sentence leaves the old man's mouth before he can stop it, but in the end, he does not regret it. After all, that is what he thinks.
After a couple of seconds of deadly silence, Lan Wangji lets out a sigh and stares at a far corner of the room, not wanting to meet Lan Qiren's gaze.
"...Forgive me. I look forward to our dinner in a week."
With those last words, the golden-eyed man walks towards the stairs and disappears upstairs without a sound. Finally, the click of a door closing echoes through the cold house.
"...Uncle—"
Xichen gets closer to the other, not knowing what to say or do, a sad expression beginning to form on his face.
"Did you see that?! He no longer even cares about us! In a week—ha! In a week, he says! If it weren't for...for the anniversary, he wouldn't even bother to share a word with us!"
After a couple seconds where Lan Qiren remains on the same spot, letting out ragged breaths, he finally begins to calm down the slightest.
"Whatever is up with that mountain is tarnishing Wangji's mind."
The older brother doesn't say anything and simply lays a gentle pat on his uncle's shoulder.
"Goodnight, uncle...rest well."
Hearing Lan Xichen's footsteps get further on the stairs, the old man places a hand on his forehead and lets out a pained sigh.
Unable to go rest after the confrontation moments before, he rests himself on the grey couch in the living room and closes his eyes.
-
"Lan Wangji! Come on, it is time for you to practice your sword forms! You've been all day with your guqin, give me some time!"
Wei Wuxian wears a pouty grin, stepping closer towards the younger man, who just minutes ago was practicing "cleansing"—
"And yet you didn't interrupt me."
Golden eyes stare at silver ones with a silent smile, while both begin walking towards the outside, the sun blinding them for a second before stepping into the green grass.
From the corner of his eye, Lan Wangji watches Wei Wuxian taking one of the two wooden swords which remain close together, the second one reserved for the rare sparring sessions they sometimes do.
"You know, Lan Wangji, I once told you I wouldn't be capable of holding the sword when teaching you—"
Wei Wuxian runs a hand over the soft surface of the wood, his silver eyes locking on the material.
"—I feel like a fraud for not even being able to get you a real one, but if you wait for me—"
The silver-eyed steps closer and this time he is looking at the shiny golden eyes he so much likes to look at.
"—If you wait for me, I promise I'll get you one, in a not-too-far-away day. No matter if I can hold it or not."
Both hold their gazes locked together, none daring to look away, the only thing stopping them from getting closer being the wooden sword between them. The spell they both are under breaks when Wei Wuxian realizes he is staring way too intensely at Lan Wangji's lips, and instead he steps back just the slightest—
"I-I mean, I need a reason to be capable of lazing around, don't you think?"
While Wei Wuxian laughs off the situation and places the wooden sword into the other man's hands, Lan Wangji feels as if his heart were about to pop out. If it weren't for the silver-eyed stepping back, gods know what the golden-eyed would've done! It certainly wouldn't have been appropriate according to the Lan teachings…
Ashamed, he looks up and gets the heart attack of his life, because Wei Wuxian is staring at him with his eyes wide open, in what seems like a raged expression. The only time he had seen the man walk this fast was when they had been under the storm and had run for their lives.
In less than two seconds, the older man lets the weapon fall to the ground and takes hold of Lan Wangji's hands without hesitation, flipping them over. The golden-eyed flinches at the touch; he would be more pleased with the sudden contact if it weren't for his injured hands.
"...Lan Wangji, you didn't cure them, did you? I told you to cure them..." The silver-eyed stares at the wrongly placed band-aids on the other's fingertips. With a tch, he starts walking towards the jinshi in order to cure them properly, but the younger man stops him in his tracks.
"It is fine, it doesn't hurt." If Lan Wangji thought that would ease Wei Wuxian, it was the total contrary, because instead of stopping, he renewed his steps with even more fervor.
"You won't be practicing cultivation with injured hands! I will not tolerate seeing your fingertips bleed even the slightest!"
There is no heat behind those words; as always, it is merely worry, and Lan Wangji appreciates it. This type of contact makes him feel wanted and taken care of—sensations he dearly misses sometimes. And Wei Wuxian is the one to bring them back this time.
-
“Aiyaaaa Lan Wangji, I told you many times to take it easy.”
Wei Wuxian pouts at the several cuts on the pale white skin. Those elegant hands suffering from multiple injuries. And he will not stand it!
“Forgive me, the instrument is…truly a wonder.”
Golden eyes slightly moving towards Wei Wuxian’s back, where on the low table rests the guqin. A gentle smile glowing on his features.
“Hmp, you look at it as if it had given you the moon—”
Silver eyes stare at the younger man, one of his hands pressing the other’s bruised fingers.
“—as wonderful as it is, you cannot be practicing for so much continuous time. If you keep on with your stubborn attitude, you will have to take longer breaks from the guqin in order to be able to play it.”
Wei Wuxian’s gaze turns heavy, his eyes staring at Lan Wangji with serious determination.
“You don’t want that, do you, Mr. Lan?”
A bigger hand wraps around a smaller one, making sure not to mess the work he just did to cure the delicate fingers. For just a moment, they forget about the cuts, or the guqin, and simply stare at each other, enjoying the warmth both hands create together.
“…I guess not.”
A tiny smile blooms on the younger man’s lips, his eyes slowly going downwards, staring at a particular spot on Wei Wuxian’s face. Maybe he truly is doomed and will never be capable of properly following the Lan teachings again.
They get closer, sounds muffled in the background. Both stare at each other’s lips; it is a temptation they get closer to break. If even just a few seconds passed, they would get to mingle their breaths together. But not enough seconds pass before Wei Wuxian abruptly stands up.
Surprised, Lan Wangji looks up and notices how the other man looks paler than before. Wei Wuxian clutches his chest, where his heart rests, and with hurried steps he disappears from the room, leaving Lan Wangji alone with confusing feelings.
-
While a certain golden-eyed man believes Wei Wuxian left because he did not desire to actually have a closer relationship, it is totally the opposite. Wei Wuxian felt such want, he lost control for a second.
Ragged breaths are heard through the night while the silver-eyed man sprints towards the woods. The sun burns his skin, the light disorienting him, until he trips over his own feet and falls to the ground. The sudden pain from the hit he received on his ribs brings him back to reality.
Black hands are the first thing he sees; the black is beginning to spread to the grass. He has to stop it. No. He needs to stop it.
Taking his hands to his own mouth, he once again remembers what he used to do when Madame Yu would punish him, the same thing Lan Wangji told him to do the first time they met on the mountain.
So instead of panicking, Wei Wuxian tries to think about soft things, moments that would bring him joy and relax him. That is the only way he can endure it. So, still pressing his mouth closed and taking slow breaths, Wei Wuxian distracts himself with the first thing he can think of: Lan Zhan.
Truly, these last weeks have been a turmoil for his heart. For it is true that his Lan Zhan will forever remain in his heart, the one person Wei Wuxian would give his life to see once again. The one who stole his heart.
But now…now things are beginning to change. Feelings he never thought he would feel again for another are starting to resurface. And it scares him.
It scares him to allow someone into his heart again, especially now that he doesn’t know how much time he has left.
And yet it is so difficult, so difficult not to feel anything for Lan Wangji, because that man is the same man who helped him calm down when they met, the same man who didn’t know how to start a conversation, the one who took care of him under a cave when they had barely met…and the same one who shines every time he learns a new thing, a shine that only becomes stronger as the weeks pass by.
So many, so many things which make his heart melt. It feels wrong to have his heart beat for someone else after an eternity of only loving one.
Could this be a punishment? For him even daring to let his heart open up once again?
Is this a punishment for not being able to resist?
“…“
But he cannot regret it. If it is punishment, then let it be punishment. Wei Wuxian stands up, forcing the black smoke to once again retreat inside of him. Let it be punishment; he will be ready to take it. As long as it doesn’t hurt him, he will take everything that comes.