Chapter Text
“Most likely to trip walking onstage?”
Robbe, Sander, Moyo and Jens all turned to point at Aaron who just laughed and shrugged before pointing at himself.
The band's new PR manager, Luca, laughed and asked the next question, “Most likely to get married first?”
Aaron, Jens and Moyo all pointed at Robbe and Sander who looked at each other with a smile before turning and pointing at Jens. Jens jaw dropped and then he rolled his eyes.
“Ohh some discrepancy there, why’s that?” Luca asked.
“Jens is way more of the marriage type!” Robbe laughed.
Jens sighed, “Okay okay fine that’s probably true, but either way I think marriage is still far off for all of us.”
“He says that now, but if Lucas hinted at it tomorrow he’d probably drop to a knee,” Sander said in between his laughter. Robbe laughed as well and looked at Lucas who had his face hidden in his hands as he shook his head. Robbe saw Luca turn the camera to capture his embarrassment.
“Okay last question. First to leak info on the next album?”
Everyone quickly pointed at Aaron who sighed and shrugged before pointing at himself again.
“Since everyone's against me I guess I’ll just let you all know you can except the new album out-”
“No!” All the guys yelled while jumping on Aaron to cover his mouth.
Luca turned off the camera to end their new video there. The band was laughing as they wrestled around, at some point landing on the floor.
“Okay boys that’s enough. Let’s get this interview done,” Zoë said from her seat in the cafe they had rented out for this interview.
Amber jumped up and smiled while clapping, “Oh I’m so excited for this! Thank you guys for choosing my blog to tell your story.”
Moyo snorted a laugh, “I wouldn’t exactly say we had a choice. Aaron begged us.”
Amber shot him a glare, but chose not to respond before sitting back down and smiling again.
“You ready for this?” Robbe asked Zoë as they all made their way over to sit next to Zoë and Senne.
Zoë nodded, “I’ve been ready for a long time.”
As they all got comfortable Robbe took a big breath in. It was finally time to tell all of their stories.
“Okay let’s start from the beginning. We all know Viktor Deruwe was arrested for fraud and embezzlement, but new charges have been added for sexual assault. Everyone is wondering what happened that led up to this. Years before this happened, Senne, you were a partial owner of Beat Boys. Zoë, you were signed under Horizon Records and you both left at the same time. Can you tell us what happened?”
Zoë nodded. “Being signed to a label felt like a dream I’m sure any artist will tell you. It very quickly became a nightmare. I can’t really go into details of what took place, but considering the additional charges filed by some of his other artists I’m sure you can guess. Thankfully, nothing went too far, but I think I can thank Senne for that, he got me out of there when it started to get bad.”
Amber turned to Senne who was holding Zoë’s hand, “Senne, do you want to elaborate on what happened that led to you leaving?”
“Honestly, I regret getting Viktor involved in this business in the first place. He’d always had problems, but he was my brother you know? I wanted to try and help him change, but I started to suspect he was doing shady things. The harassment I wasn’t aware of. I just thought he was treating his artists badly and started noticing some discrepancies with money and other business decisions he was making. While I was looking into all of this though I met Zoë and… well…” Senne trailed off looking down at their linked hands and Robbe smiled as he saw a bit of pink staining his cheeks.
“You fell in love?” Amber said with a small squeal and dreamy look.
Senne nodded and chuckled before looking back up, “Yeah. I think I fell first. It took a while to get her to trust me. Obviously I was Viktors brother and with the way he was treating her she believed I’d be the same way, but eventually I won her over.”
Zoë rolled her eyes and smiled, causing everyone in the room to laugh lightly.
“It was when I finally realized I could trust him that I told him everything Viktor was doing. I was also getting nervous because he was escalating and I felt trapped. He would constantly threaten me with breach of contract,” Zoë said.
Robbe sucked in a breath. It was remarkable to hear the similarities between Zoë’s story and their own. Viktor had been getting away with taking advantage of his artists in different ways for years.
“When she told me what was going on I knew I had to get her out of there. I had to do anything I could to protect her… so I went to Viktor and showed him everything I had discovered. I basically made a deal with him. I would give him my portion of the company but he had to release Zoë from her contract,” Senne said before looking down again, “Honestly at the time it made sense, but now I feel guilty that I put him in a position to do worse to others.”
Jens quickly shook his head, “No, you did what you needed to do to help Zoë. No one blames either of you for that.”
“Absolutely not,” Amber agreed, “But why didn’t you just report him for what he was doing?”
“We didn’t have the evidence for anything to really be done, but it was still enough of a threat for Viktor to be worried. Unfortunately, he would only agree to it if we signed an NDA so we did and just hoped someday something would happen that would grant us the ability to speak out.”
Amber nodded, “well we’re all glad you finally have that chance. Obviously we can’t get into detail about anything involving current charges since that is an ongoing case, but fans of Cutting Room Clips definitely want to know… where have you all been? You canceled your North American tour and we haven’t heard much from you for the past few months aside from some social media posts. What can you tell us?”
Robbe nodded, “Well we had a lot to sort out before we could go on another tour. Senne and Zoë were taking their positions in the company. We had to hire a lawyer, negotiate new contracts and figure out everything we could say about the situation.”
“I also had to deal with my mental health. I’ve talked some on social media about having bipolar disorder and unfortunately the stress of everything going on hit me hard. I had a short manic episode followed by some depression, but the band and everyone at the label were really there for me and I’m just glad I can openly talk about these things now so other people dealing with similar issues know they’re not alone,” Sander said.
Robbe took Sanders hand and gave it a squeeze.
“I’m glad to hear you have a great support system. Why hadn’t you talked about your bipolar disorder before?”
“One big thing about our contract with Viktor was our image clause. He basically controlled our life through that and… it prevented us from being honest about a lot of things,” Sander explained.
“Including our sexuality. I had been in the closet a long time because I was scared and just not ready. I dealt with a lot of internalized homophobia, but when I was finally ready to come out and be honest with the fans the label prevented me from doing that.”
“That’s a lot to have to hide. One of the first things you came clean about was your relationship with Jana, which you revealed was manufactured by the label. We’ve also seen posts with you and Noor. Was that relationship also fake?”
Robbe blew out a breath, “No, it was real. She was one of my best friends and when we first started dating I honestly was going through a lot trying to figure out my attraction and everything and then it just felt impossible to break it off, to come out to her or anyone else. It was difficult. Meeting Sander really changed that because I quickly grew feelings for him.”
“And Sander? Did you have feelings for him as well? Was it difficult seeing him with Noor?”
Sander nodded. “Oh, so difficult, especially because Noor is great, so it was like… I couldn't hate her, you know? I know there’s a lot of talk about Robbe and me being a secret relationship the entire time, but that’s not true.”
“I want to be honest here though because Noor deserves it. I did cheat. It wasn’t the entire time I knew Sander, but it basically just got to a point where I couldn’t stand not being with him anymore. The friendship we had wasn’t enough. I should have broken up with her at that point before anything happened between us, but I knew that would mean coming out to her and I was a coward about it. It went on for a couple of weeks before we finally broke up. Thankfully, because she’s a seriously amazing person, we’ve managed to mend our friendship.”
“Well, I think I speak for everyone when I say I’m glad you’re both able to live openly now and you’re both just so cute!” Amber said with a squeak. Robbe had to hold back his eye roll and instead just smiled and gave his thanks.
“Okay moving on. I think what really caught the fans off guard was your coming out Jens,” Amber said to Jens with a raised eyebrow and a smile.
Jens laughed and nodded, “I think it caught everyone off guard including myself. It was really confusing for a while because I’d never had feelings for a guy before so I didn’t really get what was going on with me. I liked hanging out with Lucas, he was helping me with figuring out what Viktor was doing and we just grew closer through that. Seeing Sander and Robbe being open with their relationship helped me piece things together. They were really there for me talking through things until I finally felt comfortable enough to make a move.”
“He basically saw us together and was like hm maybe dick does sound good,” Sander said causing Moyo and Aaron to start laughing.
Amber gave Sander a deadpan look, less amused. “I’m not putting that in the interview.”
“Aw c’mon,” Sander protested.
“Move along!” Lucas yelled from his corner making them all laugh.
“Okay let's move on,” Amber said before turning to Moyo and Aaron. “Moyo… Aaron… you’ve certainly been the quietest of the group, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have anything going on. What doors has the last six months opened up for you?”
Aaron sat up straight and shook his head, “Oh… no… we’re not gay.”
Moyo groaned and rolled his eyes before smacking the back of Aarons head.
“I’m well aware you’re not gay Aaron,” Amber said with a sigh.
“Yeah, not what she meant, man. So we’re starting a non-profit for underprivileged youth. We’re going to help kids interested in music to get lessons, learn the craft and get access to connections they may not otherwise have because of where they come from,” Moyo said as Aaron quickly nodded, remembering what he was supposed to say.
“Right and we’ll also be setting up charity shows to donate to organizations focused on mental health. One thing we all struggled with under Viktor was our mental health and we want to help people get access to mental healthcare,” Aaron said.
“Actually I’m sorry, can I jump in here and add to that?” Robbe asked. When Amber nodded, Robbe continued. “When everything got really bad It was obvious I was dealing with depression and anxiety. I think I had been hiding so much for so long I just didn’t have it in me to hide that too. Sander was constantly on edge trying to help me and of course we were worried about him having an episode. Jens was exhausted trying to figure out a way out of all of this. I think Moyo and Aaron ended up taking on this role to always be the upbeat and happy ones. Making jokes, smiling for fans, taking pictures when we just couldn’t and so no one really noticed how badly they were struggling too.”
Robbe felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up to see it was Moyo. Robbe put his hand on top of Moyos and gave it a squeeze. “So, yeah I think we all struggled, but they struggled completely silently and we want to make sure anyone struggling in silence knows they’re not alone and that they have access to get help.”
“Exactly,” Moyo said, “That’s what the first single on our new album is about and we can’t wait for the fans to hear it.”
“Well guys I think that’s a wonderful message that many of your fans I’m sure appreciate. I want to thank you all for sharing your story. I’m sure I speak for everyone by saying we can’t wait to see what Cutting Room Clips has in store for us in the future.”
xXx
Robbe could hear the crowd roaring as they stood together on the riser below the stage. The lights above them had dimmed in anticipation for their entrance. Robbe could feel nerves flowing through him in waves, but they were different than before. These were good nerves. Excitement. The new album had been released and they were finally back on stage. Although they had come out publicly, Robbe and Sander had mostly kept to themselves. They had decided to try and ease into a public relationship and enjoy just being together and not having to hide, but tonight was different. Tonight, they were home, and they were free and Robbe could feel the enormity of that.
As the backtrack started playing all of the guys leaned into a huddle, arms wrapped around each, ready to step into whatever the future held together.
“You guys ready for this?” Sander asked.
“Fuck yeah boys!” Aaron yelled.
“Let’s do this!” Moyo chimed in.
Robbe smiled, “I love you guys. I wouldn’t be here without you.”
“We wouldn’t be here without you either man,” Jens said, “Let’s fucking go!”
They all cheered and jumped together before breaking away and getting in place as the riser started to ascend to the top of the stage. As soon as the crowd was visible Robbe felt his breath leave him. The entire stadium was full of fans. He’d played giant crowds so many times before, but since he came out it’s been a different experience. Knowing they were all still here, still supporting them, was a whole other feeling.
The band was on fire tonight, the crowd singing along to every song not missing a beat. Hearing their words sung back to them, tears tracking down their fans' faces as they connected to the lyrics would never grow old. This was why they did this and thanks to their amazing support network they were able to continue doing it for a long time.
Halfway through their set Sander turned to look at Robbe and smiled before mouthing the words “ready?” Robbe nodded with a smile of his own and walked up to his microphone.
“Alright, who wants to hear something new tonight?” The crowd screamed in excitement.
“I dunno man, I don't think they’re ready. That was pretty weak,” Moyo said from his drum set.
“Yeah I’d have to agree,” Sander said, “Let’s try that again. Do you want to hear something new?”
Robbe could feel the ground below him shake from how loud the crowd roared this time and he couldn’t help the laugh that ripped out of him.
“Shit, I think that did it,” Aaron said into his mic and the crowd went crazy again.
“Okay okay let’s give it to them,” Sander said. Robbe looked down at his guitar and started the next song and then looked back up as Sander started to sing.
I was losing hope, stranded on a midnight road
Broken headlights, heavy soul
Thought I’d be alone, a one-man show
Then you crossed my path and took control
Robbe and Sander locked eyes as the pre-chorus kicked in.
Suddenly my world feels bright
Flipping all my doubts overnight
I’d given up, I’d closed that door
But now I want it more and more
Robbe went back to his microphone to sing along with the chorus.
I found you when I fell down
Picked me up off the cold ground
Turned my black-and-gray to vivid view
Whoa-oh, I’m alive ’cause I found you
My beating heart feels brand new
Whoa-oh, I’m alive ’cause I found you
Robbe continued singing, taking over the next verse and the crowd went wild again as they realized Robbe was singing this part to Sander.
Your love struck like a thunderclap
Broke through all my nervous crap
I’d been afraid to let it in
But now I’m ready to begin
The rest of the band came in to sing the bridge together. Robbe felt goosebumps erupt on his skin.
Whoa-oh, we’re a spark in the midnight
Whoa-oh, we’re a match that ignites
Whoa-oh, from ashes we rise
Together we conquer the skies
I found you when I fell down
Picked me up off the cold ground
Turned my black-and-gray to vivid view
Whoa-oh, I’m alive ’cause I found you
My beating heart feels brand new
Whoa-oh, I’m alive ’cause I found you
Whoa-oh, I’m alive ‘cause I found you
Whoa-oh, I’m alive ‘cause I found you
As the music faded the crowd continued to sing, echoes bouncing off the ceiling and walls.
Whoa-oh, I’m alive ‘cause I found you
Tears erupted in Robbes eyes as he listened to the crowd sing a song that had only been out for a few days. Rainbow flags were waving around the stadium as they sang. When he locked eyes with Sander again, he couldn’t hold back anymore. He walked over to Sander, grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him into an earth-shattering kiss. He could hear the screams until it all faded away and it was just them. They kissed in front of the world and left everything else behind. A minute later they were broken up as the rest of the band jumped on them, pulling them into a giant group hug.
When they finally pulled apart, they all smiled as the crowd chanted “Cut-ting Room, Cut-ting Room!”
“How the fuck is this our life?” Moyo asked and all Robbe could do was shake his head and smile.
When the show ended, they walked backstage and were immediately greeted by Milan, Lucas, Senne and Zoë who all smiled and pulled them into hugs.
“You guys were amazing,” Milan said. His eyes were red rimmed like he’d been crying half the show.
“Are you alright?” Aaron asked.
Milan paused and then burst into tears before nodding and waving at them, “My babies are just all grown up.”
“Aw thanks dad,” Sander said as he pulled Milan into another hug.
Jens rolled his eyes and wrapped Lucas into his arms before giving him a kiss.
Zoë laughed, shaking her head, “You all really were great. That kiss was amazing.”
Robbe smiled and hugged Sander to him. They wouldn’t be here without their new family. He was so glad they got to continue this journey with them by his side.
They all walked back to the dressing room, Robbe and Sander staying towards the back hand in hand.
“So, what’s next for us then?” Sander asked as he looked down at Robbe.
Robbe smiled and shrugged, “Mmm I don’t know. I was thinking we could look for a house. Maybe somewhere out of the city where it’s quiet with lots of room for animals and kids of course. We probably can’t get any animals right now with our schedule, but I’d like a dog and maybe some goats. I bet our future kids would like goats.”
Sander stopped walking and yanked Robbe back into him. “A house? Kids? Goats?”
Robbe grinned, looking into Sanders eyes he nodded. “Yeah. If you want, I mean. We have some time while we’re recording the new album, obviously kids and goats would be far off but-”
Robbe was cut off as Sanders' lips landed on his. Robbes knees grew weak as Sander kissed him with everything he had, pouring every emotion into it. It quickly grew heated, the thought of finally having a future igniting something inside both of them. Robbe felt his back hit the wall and Sanders' body pressed into him before he pulled back just enough to talk.
“I would fucking love to find a home with you Robbe. I can’t wait to start our lives together. But first I think we need to go get showered and changed and then head to my place because I want to devour every inch of your body tonight.”
Robbe laughed and nodded, “Sounds like a plan. I love you so much Sander Driesen.”
“I love you too, Robbe IJzermans. Now and forever.”