Chapter Text
I remembered it like it was yesterday.
It was a day that happened over two hundred years ago, a day so significant that it still replayed in my dreams.
It was the day that Xavier Shen chose me to join the Backtrackers.
Back then, I was just a young Lightseeker Knight but, somehow, Xavier had seen potential in me. The sun was setting, tinting his silver hair a light orange. With his hand outstretched and his hair waving in the wind, he asked in a soft, gentle tone, “Would you like to have the honour of joining our team?”
He didn’t have to ask me twice. I immediately took his right hand, grasping it tightly and kneeling before him. My forehead pressed against his hand, my expression earnest.
“I accept. I will serve you for as long as you need me.”
I lifted my head to gauge his expression. With the sunlight behind him still hitting his back, the combination of the good lighting and his expression at that moment was one that remained etched in my mind. The beautiful smile that illuminated his face upon hearing my words was something I’d never forget.
Joining the Backtrackers was an honour in my eyes. They were a team specially assigned to investigate if the people of our dying planet, Philos, could relocate to Earth. It was an idea many people would laugh at, as the only thing our planet needed to survive was the sacrifice of our Queen, but Xavier was determined to find a solution to break this cycle and save our planet at the same time.
We all agreed that this method of sacrificing someone was inhumane. But I agreed with it most of all because of the biggest secret I held— my love for our leader.
On those journeys through the Deepspace tunnel, I found myself enchanted by the way Xavier lit up when talking about the things he enjoyed. We’d lie next to each other on those long, sleepless nights when the journey was rough, endlessly talking as our bodies were showered by the faint illumination of the nearby stars. On the new planets we’d stop at for refueling, I’d find my heart racing whenever he’d shield me when the gravitational pull was too strong. And I’d find myself constantly charmed by the sneaky way he would always find random snacks and share some with me— it was all those little things I noticed about him which accumulated into a growing love even though I knew there was only one person in his heart.
When we reached Earth, the talking still didn’t stop. We’d talk for hours in his apartment, on the breaks during our missions, in crowded rooms at the Hunter academy: just never running out of topics despite knowing each other for so long. There was, however, one topic he would continuously bring up: the Queen we could no longer return to, and even though he’d never outright state his feelings for her, it was obvious that the implied weight in his words was heavy: as heavy as my heart. No one would understand an unrequited love like mine that lasted more than 2 centuries except Xavier himself. But Xavier would no longer continue to understand it… Because he eventually had it requited.
It was my birthday when I realized I had lost him.
My green eyes scanned my phone constantly, waiting for a text from him but nothing appeared. How strange…
I tapped my phone screen, opening up my chat with Xavier for what seemed like the 100th time. This was unlike him. My birthday was a day he never forgot no matter how sleepy he was— rain or shy, he’d text me, even if it was a lame “HBD”. The littlest of effort from him still meant the world to me.
Yet it was all over in a heartbeat.
Our 214 year old tradition disappeared when he finally started a relationship with her.
As the day ended and the clock struck midnight, I came to a realisation. As much as it was difficult for me, it was time for me to move on.
I woke up from my cross-legged position on the floor, releasing a drawn out breath. This was a day I’d prepped for for years, yet never done. But I’d reached my limit. The pain grew more and more whenever he spoke about her, and every cancelled plan with me made it more apparent. He had found another version of the Queen he so desperately wanted, but I would never find another Xavier.
All I had for my own happy ending was a bag I’d prepped for running away.
I picked it up, my heart racing as I walked over to my balcony. Every step I took was slow yet... deliberate. Am I really about to do this?
Maybe if I’d stayed a few minutes longer, I would have questioned my decision because of a breathless Xavier showing up at my door.
But stepping onto my balcony railing the way Xavier had taught me and smelling the night air, for the first time in a long time I felt free. The heavy feeling in my heart lifted a little when I thought about the future that awaited me. Even if I sometimes felt like I was losing who I was, my love for Xavier had kept me going. Now that I wanted to let go of it, would I be erased from existence due to this time loop? Or would history repeat itself with our failed mission attempt? Our return to Philos was imminent and always loomed over our heads like a dark cloud. The thought of dying without being with Xavier…
No. I shook my head fiercely, not entertaining that thought. I’d lived long enough. It was time to erase these memories and just live life freely. And I knew just the place.
***
In the quietness of a metallic chamber, two people were seated across from each other at a table, a camera trained on each of them: one was a young woman with white, shoulder-length hair dressed casually in a tank top and the other was an objectively handsome young man with black hair whose attire was the opposite: a formal red and black military outfit.
“Are you making a joke out of the Fleet?” The man spoke in an incredulous, husky tone, leaning towards me as his chin rested upon his right hand. With his left, he tapped the table between us impatiently. “Do you think we take in people whose aim is to use Toring chips to get over a broken heart?”
His hard expression softened as he chuckled in amusement. “I’m afraid to tell you that isn’t the quality of a soldier.”
I was in serious mode, determined to enter the Fleet.
“Test me first and then make a judgement, Colonel,” I replied calmly. “I’ll be the perfect soldier once the chip removes my emotions.”
I kept my expression stoic as he analysed any giveaways my face made.
The Colonel, whose name was Caleb, sighed, shaking his head. “I know of many people who refuse the chip. You’re the first who wanted it for this purpose.”
His eyes scanned my body, noting my muscles on display due to the clothes I wore. I’d done so on purpose so that they could take note of my physique. “I can tell that you’re well-trained: from your perfectly toned muscles—” His eyes wandered to my loosely clasped hands “—to the callouses on your hands from holding a sword. What other weapons can you wield?”
“All of the ones you have in your armoury.” I had been taken there earlier for a small test to determine my capabilities. I passed with flying colours with the guns they handed to me and, much to the surprise of the inspector, easily beat their past records,
He seemed impressed at my response but still unconvinced.
“If you hadn’t told me you wanted to get over a breakup, I’d have probably taken you in.”
He picked up a pile of papers lying in front of him, patting them down to straighten them out. His eyes flitted over the words typed on them. “It does state here that you have a lot of combat experience, so I trust your words," he said calmly. "But surely you should know by now that lying is one of the arts of combat? Considering you said you value honesty, you should know there are times you’ll need to hide information about the Fleet from others, or trick an enemy.” Basically, I should not have told him about the reasons behind planting the chip.
“Of course I can do that,” I replied, “but I don’t see the need to trick you since you’re not an enemy.” I stood up carefully, my fingers trailing the side of the table. “And about my combat experience…” I clicked my fingers and the Colonel tensed immediately.
He was too slow. His hands moved fast as he shielded himself with a layer of his Evol but it was to no avail: my Evol easily overpowered his and encased his head and hands in a layer of water. His eyes widened in shock, watching me as I flicked my index finger up, removing the water around his ears so that he could hear me.
“Water can defy gravity,” I said with a smile. “I can increase the pressure of water to make your Evol negligible just as you can increase your forces of gravity. Your attempts to lift or move anything will be negated. I can also increase the mass of water yet keep it the same size. Right now, that’s one ton surrounding your head, even though it doesn’t look like it.”
A red laser flashed into my eyes, and I pulled the water away just as the self-defence system in the room was ready to fire. The colonel raised his hand, spluttering slightly as he massaged his throat with the other. “Don’t shoot at her. It was just a ~ cough~ demonstration.”
The lasers emitted a beep before switching off.
“I would have expected us to be evenly matched.” His soaking wet face harboured an expression of curiosity, his purple eyes glinting. “I reached this way with years of training and you’re only twenty-three. How did you get to that level so fast? If I were to calculate, your level of water manipulation should take a few more years of training to surpass mine.”
“Then you must be slacking,” I said jokingly. “I train all day and all night.” This time I finally said a lie. Obviously, I had centuries worth of experience to increase my level but I could never tell him that. Both Xavier and I were too overpowered.
He wasn’t easily fooled. “I don’t believe that’s the true answer.” He stepped closer to me, his eyes questioning. “You've definitely sparked my interest.” He paused, thinking for a moment. I could hear the soft mechanical whirrs of the cameras as they followed the Colonel’s pacing, their vision trained on him. Finally, he pulled a seat next to me, having reached a conclusion.
“We’ll… take you into the Fleet,” he said with slight reluctance.
“You don’t sound very sure…”
“I thought you’d jump at my offer, not make me doubt myself more,” he said, raising his eyebrow and tilting his head slightly, the corner of his lip lifted in amusement.
“Ah… Okay, forget that!”
He extended his hand for me to shake. “Shall we shake on it?” I had shaken many hands in my past yet in that moment, a vision entered my eyes of the silver-haired young man who held my hand. Of course I had to think about him now…
I brought myself back to reality and took the Colonel’s hand, my grip firm.
“Congrats, Rahlia,” he said, a tilted smile on his face.
“Thank you, Colonel. I’ll be the best soldier you’ve ever known.”
“I’d like to see that. Unfortunately, you’ll only be eligible for that when you get over your heartbreak like a sane person.”
I didn’t expect those words from him and laughed. I’d been so serious since Xavier had found someone that the acceptance into the Fleet finally lifted a weight on my shoulders. “Aw man…”
He laughed. “The enrolments end in March. I’ll see you in a month, with a healed heart, please.” He opened the door for me, giving me a mock salute. “See ya.”