Chapter Text
It was a gruelling battle. It took almost everyone in the League to stop the monsters and random spells escaping from some weird magic book - or whatever the hell it was, - Hal wasn't actually paying that much attention, too busy kicking ass. But by the end, they did it, practically without casualties. The book was closed, the annoying magical cult subdued, and all it took was some scrapes, quite a few ruined buildings, Superman nearly going down for one scary moment, and quite a few of the leaguers suffering some weird magical consequences like one claw arm or pink hair. Hey, both actually suited Green Arrow, in his opinion. Were he a little less drained, he probably would have snorted as the man stood there, but neither him nor his ring had much fight in them left and that one confusion spell took too much out of him, he still felt like spewing his guts a little.
All in all, they still achieved victory.
Would have been even better if mom and dad didn't decide to fight right in the middle of the roof where the Justice League members were slowly gathering.
“It wasn't an unnecessary risk!” Superman threw his hands in the air, exasperated and a little red in the face from anger. Hal felt a twinge of sympathy. Batman's usual tongue lashing was particularly vicious this time, the two of them having started this argument over comms as soon as the fighting stopped, Spooky's lips clearly loose ever since he was hit with that one truth spell. Sheesh, Hal was lucky he wasn't the Bat’s target this time. The guy was always such an ass.
“Yes it was and you know it.” The gauntleted hand actually poked at Superman's chest as he snarled that. “You're not immune to magic, Superman. That was irresponsible, reckless, rash, stupid and -”
Wonder Woman chose this exact moment to also land on the roof alongside J'onn, everyone in their rag-tag group finally having gathered in one place. But as soon as she saw that the screaming match between her fellow leaders still hadn't stopped, she huffed in exasperation. By now everyone knew it was best to just let them dish it out, and even Diana seemed too done with the day's bullshit to intervene, this time.
Hal stretched his shoulders with a wince before heading to Barry, trying and failing to tune out all the screaming and measuring his steps a little more cautiously. Magic fucking sucked.
“I knew I could take it! And I did !” Superman sputtered, defensively. He was actually losing his cool, now. No one really got to him quite like Bats, after all. “It's not like I put anyone else in danger! Why do you even care about this so much?!”
“Because you went down , Kal! Of course I care, why wouldn't I care- I'm in love with you, you stupid idiot!”
Hal Jordan nearly fell on his ass, stumbling over some rubble.
Say what now.
He turned around, still having half a mind to go somewhat slowly, any and all other movements paused, the air around them shifting, leaguers frozen in shock and looking at the two figures in the center. Superman's face was looking almost comically dumbfounded, eyes wide and mouth half falling on the floor.
“Fuck.”
Did- Did Batman just swear?!... Oh. Oh fuck, Hal thought, a little hysterically. Oh that wasn't a joke. He could see it as the man quickly lowered his arms, cape falling to cover him fully, too little too late. Batman's hands were shaking .
The man stepped back, and Hal could actually, almost physically see the edges of that steel composure fraying.
“You- weren't supposed to-” Batman seemed to physically clamp down on his next words, now, teeth baring in a snarl. “Forget I said that.”
“Oh… Oh my god, B-”
Batman wasn't fast enough with his retreat as Superman caught his wrist, eyes searching. His expression was still that of shock, even as Batman tried to tug away, insistently. Superman didn't budge, but he's never looked so uncomfortable before.
“Let me go.” Batman growled, trying to shake the hand off his wrist, the sheer anger and bitterness in his voice startling if it weren't for his increasingly ragged, shaky breathing. Hal only just noticed that his voice modulator must have broken at some point in the fight, Batman's voice so raw now that he wasn't screaming. It sounded almost as gravelly as the enhanced version.
“No! No- please, wait, B, I, uh-”
Superman's expression crumbled as he looked at the man, and, in a near whisper, almost as if he hadn't meant to ask it, he added: “For how long…?”
In his iron grip, Batman's hand twitched, the man stilling almost as if he was actually fighting the spell now. No one dared to speak, silence nearly defending for a long moment at the uncomfortable and way too personal scene unfolding before them. Hal wasn't sure how everyone looked, too baffled to look away, but he was sure he'd find much the same on the faces of the other Leaguers.
“Years, now.” The grind of Batman's teeth as he said it was almost audible. To the man next to him, it probably was. Superman looked like he had his breath punched out of his lungs, even though Hal knew for a fact he didn't actually need to breathe.
The Green Lantern was still processing all this, pretty sure he looked like a dumb fish or something, but he could see Diana finally stepping forward as if to finally intervene in whatever the hell was happening. Her hands were raised, placating.
“Superman.” She said at the same time as the dark knight cursed again, struggle renewed with an almost frantic vigor.
Superman looked towards her, momentarily, looking lost, but Batman's growl made him snap his attention back where he was still holding the man's wrist in an iron grip. Hal found something morbidly amusing in how it was actually probably very light, for him.
“I said let go of me or I'll fucking break my fist over your fucking face, Kal, I swear -”
Superman flinched, recoiling as he finally let go of Batman, the man scrambling away in a barely dignified manner, not looking at anyone, and Hal distantly realizing that he had never seen him so thrown off his game before, over the years of knowing the man.
The dark figure jumped off the roof, quickly disappearing in a swish of cape and grappling hook, probably towards the place where he left the batwing, and Superman visibly flinched again, looking as if he swallowed a chunk of kryptonite, unnervingly dull eyes staring into nothingness. It seemed as if no one could speak, even as Diana made her way towards him, worried little glances exchanged all around.
Hal met Barry's anxious and jittery gaze over the rubble.
Shit, he kind of felt bad about all the mom and dad jokes now.
____─ ·𖤓☾· ─____
Superman has never felt so lost in his life.
Batman, his best friend of almost fifteen years was- is-
He still couldn't believe it. Distantly, he felt Diana's hand land on his shoulder and squeeze, he has seen J'onn giving her a nod before walking over to the others, probably to discuss checking the area again for any civilians and helping with the cleanup, people awkwardly shuffling off the roof one by one. There was a rush in his ears, a kind of thrumming. Diana was saying something. Her lips were moving but for once, he just couldn't hear it. Her lips pursed, the amazonian shaking her head, probably noticing that he wasn't really listening. Something inside him felt bad about that. He thinks he might have stammered out an apology before stepping back and saying he'll survey the area again with his x-ray vision.
She let him.
Then, he was up in the sky, looking at the damaged part of the city. The sounds still felt distant but he saw a scared cat hiding under the rubble, something like a collar glinting on its neck.
He swooped in for it, focusing on absentmindedly helping the others with cleanup.
Things went by in a bit of a blur after that.
The Fortress was always a place where he wanted to go to be alone. But he didn't think he could make it there this time. Not with- Not with so many memories attached to it, the black figure tinkering with nearly everything inside, speaking with the holograms, using the supercomputer or walking down the halls. He couldn't go to Ma and Pa's house either, not when they'll know something's wrong immediately, not when Kon is there, not when he could so clearly picture an expensive car pulling up near the farm to drop Damian off, Bruce himself stepping out of it in his more casual but still ludicrously expensive clothing. And he couldn't go to Lois for much the same reason, especially not when it was her time to take care of Jon. Not his own apartment or the Watchtower. Not the- the manor.
Never before has he noticed just how much of a permanent fixture in his life Bruce has become.
So, he shot off into the sky.
The moon was quiet.
It was a nice change of pace, the freezing cold darker side of it. He didn't particularly want to look or hear what was happening on Earth right now.
Rao, he needed to sort himself out. This- This whole thing didn't have to change anything. Did it?..
But it did.
Was it… Was it Clark's fault? How has he never noticed?.. Bruce was his best friend, he should have- Should have sensed it, when it started maybe, maybe done something like- Like talk to Bruce, clear some things so they could just keep being friends and everything would have been fine, right?..
Even in his own mind it felt like a lie.
He couldn't help but think about everything they've shared, all the little moments during the past few years, anything- Anything that could have told him when it happened and why, and- oh god, did… Did Bruce really think of him in that way?..
Honestly, Clark was feeling a little hysterical, sitting here, on the moon, looking at but not seeing the stars.
Clark couldn't help feeling a little… bitter, actually.
Angry.
This.
It felt like betrayal .
Bruce always dealt with stuff on his own. Superman needed Batman. Clark needed him, but Bruce didn't need him in turn . Not really, apparently. The Big Bad Bat could handle everything- Would handle everything, always prepared, contingencies upon contingencies and not care at all about the emotional fallout it brings to everyone else.
It was so much like Bruce to withhold critical information until the end, he thought, hands balling into fists. Clark just thought, stupidly thought, that they've been past this, that they could share everything, that Bruce trusted him. Then, it struck him.
The end, huh?..
Was it? Was it the end of- Of this. Of their friendship?.. Clark felt the tears prickle at his eyes. He just - He couldn't look at Bruce, at Batman the same way now. If only - If only he had just known sooner, then-
He-
Rao, why was he so shaken by this.
Of course B never said anything.
Clark could taste the acid and despair on his tongue.
The man never dealt with emotions well. He knew this. Everyone knew this. It's not like…
He wanted to laugh. Or cry.
Or both.
It was clear why Bruce acted the way he did. Clark isn't into men. Plain and simple. Rao, he just told B about wanting to try to date again, about wanting to ask out Sally from marketing on a casual date or something. He- he never thought of his friend like that. He didn't even know Bruce liked men until Ollie just casually mentioned him and Bruce hooking up during their college years when they had that party at the Watchtower, a few years ago. It was- It was so startling, back then. For some reason Clark never could picture his friend with other men, well- Like that. And he didn't- didn't want to, something ugly and bitter rising in him when Ollie joked about that. He never even thought about Bruce's love life, not when it was all practically a farse for the camera when he was playing ‘Bruce Wayne’ or, worse, whatever the hell was going on between the real him and all the villains and almost villains he dated. Bruce already knew Clark disapproved of that, was worried about his friend and his weird self-destructive tendencies. Besides, B always told him he didn't have time for relationships, that they always ended in disaster, or that he wasn't made for them. Clark didn't think so, not really, but also didn't try to argue much on this. Just a month ago B had said to Diana that he has too many kids to think of even starting a relationship now.
Clark buried his face in his hands. In an afternoon his world has irrevocably shattered by eight words. Sometimes, he really hated his eidetic memory, the words replaying like a curse in his mind.
‘ I'm in love with you, you stupid idiot!’
‘In love’
‘With you’
He didn't return to Earth for a while.
He wasn't entirely sure how much time had passed, but by the time he returned it was already nightfall, a familiar, slightly dulled over the years guilty prickle at the back of his mind for not being there, not helping when someone was in possible need of Superman returning. But his communicator stayed quiet throughout. He turned it off before, even if reluctantly, but if something really happened, if the League needed him, they'd still be able to contact him. His personal phone held a few worried messages from Diana, two casual ones from Lois, but other than that, nothing. He just typed out a quick reply to both before placing the phone back on the small table, where he had previously left it.
Slowly, as he lowered himself on the small couch in his apartment, he finally let his hearing expand, more and more sounds reaching his ears. The cries of his neighbors’ baby, the police siren a few blocks over, Lois talking to Jon about homework, Ma and Pa's snoring and Kon playing a game on his phone. Their heartbeats.
He didn't listen to them all the time, but he still tried to keep an ear on them in case anything happened. They were familiar, comforting, he could track them almost anywhere in the world if need be, be there in seconds if there was any danger.
He sighed, relief flooding his veins as soon as he could hear them again, but as soon as he let them wash over him, he could feel his heart sink.
It wasn't there.
A singular, steady heartbeat. One that always stood out to him among the rest, calm, measured and as precisely controlled as the man himself.
Before he even knew it, he was already on his way to Gotham.
Mid-flight he felt himself stuttering, though, memories of what happened just a few hours prior, ones that he's tried so desperately to suppress returning with vengeance.
Would Bruce even want to see him now? It- This must have been on purpose, right?..
Honestly, Clark wasn't even sure he himself wanted to see Bruce right now, an uncomfortable, complicated mess of feelings weighing him down.
He would just… Check. Ask someone where Bruce is and- And go home. Make sure his friend is okay.
Clark's feet soundlessly touched down near the front door of the Manor. Usually, he just went straight for the cave, but now it felt wrong, somehow. He would just ask Alfred, or maybe one of the kids, and…
Almost as if he knew he was there, before he could even knock, Alfred opened the giant door, a bit of irrational weight lifting off Clark's shoulders at not seeing Bruce looming behind him.
“Uh, hi Alfred.”
“Master Kent.” The butler’s greeting seemed as impassive as always, but Clark felt himself zero in on the angle of his brow. It felt… Wrong, somehow. There was a hidden tension behind his features, one he's seen occasionally during the times when-
“Is, uh- Is Bruce in right now?..” Clark asked, despite already knowing the answer.
The butler let out a sigh, before stepping aside.
“I'm afraid not, sir.” His eyes raked over his Superman suit, lips pursing in silent displeasure at him showing up to the front door of the manor in costume. Clark winced. Everyone knew Alfred's policy of not being upstairs in costume, but…
Alfred was already gesturing for him to follow, and Clark couldn't do much but obey, closing the door after himself.
“I was actually hoping you would clear up the air on that, Master Kent. But, seeing how you've also come here, looking for him, I think it'd be best if you joined the kids downstairs.”
So it seemed Bruce didn't return to the Manor yet. Nor had he notified Alfred or his kids of his whereabouts. Clark couldn't help but feel another pang of worry, at that, even knowing the exact reason.
The familiar way to the grandfather clock was silent and uneasy.
Alfred always felt like he knew something, even though Clark is almost ninety percent sure that this time, he didn’t. Almost. It was Alfred, after all.
The butler stepped to the side as the hidden door opened, Clark's own DNA and data long inputted in the systems in case he needed to walk in through the Manor.
“I will be waiting up here, in case Master Wayne decides to use the front door, sir. Please, do notify me if you find him.”
Trying to avoid Alfred's stoic gaze and giving him a shaky nod, Clark slipped through the door, the quiet clicks of mechanism locking behind him as the passage dimmed.
____─ ·𖤓☾· ─____
“He disabled all the trackers. Even ones he wasn't supposed to know about.” Tim, sat behind the main computer, said.
“Even the ones we placed on him?” Jason asked, incredulous, clearly starting to get pissed off and gesturing in a way that was probably supposed to mean something specific. Tim just nodded.
They were already in the middle of arguing when Clark walked in, all pairs of eyes immediately snapping to him and greetings sounding throughout the cave. No one was surprised he was here, as usual. Although Clark himself was, seeing all the batkids having finally gathered in one place with the notable exception of Barbara, who was technically still here in spirit. Something in him warmed at the sight. Bruce would have loved it, even if the occasion was… well.
“B clearly doesn't want to be found.” Oracle replied through the computer, voice just a bit distorted. It seemed they weren't at this for very long, Batman was notorious for just disappearing on people, after all, but the frustration in the air was still clear.
“That asshole.” Jason growled, before finally turning to him. “He was with you and the JL fighting that magic stuff earlier, right? We saw you guys win, but after that there’s no footage.”
Clark felt himself cringe at that.
“Uh, yeah.” He confirmed, hating himself for how uncertain he sounded.
The silence in the room grew tense, Clark's gaze drifting unconsciously to his feet, an anxious lump stuck in his throat. Everyone was staring expectantly at him now, his skin prickling with their combined gazes.
“What happened?” Duke asked softly, unable to keep a worried note from slipping into his tone.
Clark stepped from foot to foot anxiously, not feeling very Superman right now despite still wearing the outfit.
How was- How was he supposed to explain this to Bruce's children? Oh, yeah, your father- my best friend - has just confessed that he's had feelings for me, and, apparently, has had for years.
Oh. Oh god- did they- did the kids know?
“We, uh- Bruce was hit with a truth spell and…” Clark swallowed, trying and failing to will himself to go on. He could… Tell them though, right?.. After all, these are Bruce's kids, the kids of the world's greatest detective , of course they must have known about- That. They knew him like no one else did. Not even Clark, apparently.
Something terrible churned in his gut at that. He just thought- He thought he knew Bruce.
Clark shook his head.
It felt wrong to think this. He pushed himself to speak again, rambling a little. “There were so many enemies, we were swamped; evacuating civilians and all, holding off the demons. Bruce told us he resisted much stronger spells and truth serums before and well- You know how he is, and we weren’t really able to even slow down, so he told us not to worry and keep-”
“Kent.” Damian snapped, his patience clearly running thin. “Get to the point.”
Clark suppressed another wince. God, he had to get a grip.
“Sorry.” He mumbled. “I was, uh- A little reckless, and got knocked surprisingly hard during that, but I was fine, and well, after it was done we argued, I forgot about the… He…”
Clark steeled himself for a briefest moment.
“He said he was in love with me.” he finished in a single breath, eyes lifting to meet the kids' gazes.
Clark blinked. Oh. Oh no. Maybe they actually didn't know, judging by their entirely too confused faces.
“What. What the fuck?”
Jason was the first to speak, breaking the silence and lifting his hand in an aborted gesture.
“Language.” Clark admonished, lamely, almost habitually, having heard Bruce doing much the same to his kids prior.
After that,the cave immediately erupted in chaos, voices interrupting each other.
Damian was scowling profusely, regarding Clark with an amount of disdain he hadn't seen on his face in a long while. “Father doesn't feel- He wouldn't have said that!” He sputtered, rather childishly. “It must have been some other spell or something!”
Oracle's quiet typing paused, her soft little “Huh.” Coming from the speakers. “I never… noticed.” She sounded a little disappointed in herself there, actually.
“Oh. Ohhh.” Tim’s face looked a little pale, eyes distant, almost as if he was finally piecing something in his mind. “Yeah, uh- Well that explains a lot, and uh, nothing too, actually.” Absently, he tried to sip from a decidedly empty coffee mug.
“Bruce never said… Well, I honestly didn't think he was the type to uh harbor… “ Duke sounded a little anxious, before seemingly giving up. “I don't even know…”
Steph let out an astonished “No way.” Initially, from where she was sitting with Cass on the table, blinking at Clark as if she saw him for the first time, before opening and closing her mouth, uncertainly. “Did he really say it like that?.. Uh, not that I mean anything by that- uh, sorry, Supes.”
Cass initially just let out a little subvocal noise, then frowned, also looking as if she's just realized something. Her eyes were piercing and trained on him. She was always the type to read people's emotions easily, Bruce's especially, somehow, so Clark guessed that on some level she must have known, but probably hadn't entirely grasped the concept of… Well. Clark couldn't look her in the eyes at the moment, some weird guilty feeling crawling up his spine, so he avoided it.
There were still some exclamations sounding around the room, more protests from Damian, as Clark scanned the kids worriedly, until his eyes landed on Dick.
Dick was the only one who didn't utter a single sound.
His mouth was pursed in a single line, but otherwise, he remained unreadable. Clark's eyes widened.
“You knew.” He breathed, faintly, some weird mix of disbelief and betrayal leaching into his words.
It wasn't a question.
He tried not to dwell on the fact that Dick and him were close, that he has never even hinted at-
All the eyes immediately flew to him, Dick's lips pursing all the more.
“Grayson, you- You knew about this?!” Damien demanded, sounding outraged. As if he was supposed to tell him. Clark immediately felt guilty at his own previous train of thought. Of… Of course Dick hadn't told anyone. It wasn't his secret to tell.
But he just… Just couldn't stop himself now.
In a haunting echo of a question he had already asked today, and immediately deeply regretted, Clark heard himself asking:
“How long?..”
Dick shifted on his feet, taking a slow, measured breath in and out, before putting a hand in his own hair, slightly ruffling it. He looked straight at Clark when he said this.
“Since I was a child.” He shrugged.
Clark felt as if a sinkhole opened under his feet.
‘Years, now.’ Bruce had gritted out.
Years.
Oh. Oh god. It was- That was more than a decade ago.
“How have none of us ever figured this out?” Tim was frowning, contemplatively, fidgeting a little in the chair. “I mean, we all knew you two were pretty close, but…”
“How have you known?” Jason asked, incredulous, and definitely aimed at Dick. Then, his eyes widened a fraction, a small realization. “Does Alfy know?”
Dick just sighed again, looking entirely too exhausted. He always looked youthful, with his easy smiles and cheery attitude. But this, the exhaustion made him look older, more worn out, expression drained of all emotion. “Alfred definitely knows.” He relayed, simply, before clarifying. “Has known. And none of you do because Bruce didn't want you to know. We all know he keeps a lot of secrets. I only knew because I was there when it started, and I honestly wasn't even entirely sure if he still felt that way… But yeah, I know because Bruce definitely wasn't as good at hiding it, back then.”
No one really spoke after that. But Clark felt Damien's eyes suddenly snap back to him, narrowing. Accusing.
They all knew what that meant, now.
____─ ·𖤓☾· ─____
Clark had to physically restrain himself from flying straight to Gotham as soon as he heard that familiar heartbeat again. It sounded so measured. Calm. So unlike the incredibly fast and panicked beat of it that he heard last time, the one that he only just now realized was making his ears thud, his senses apparently zeroing in on it. He distantly thought that he'd never heard Bruce's heart beat that fast before.
It had been two and a half days.
Two and a half days, but Bruce was fine. He was fine and he had returned to his family, as much as he could hear from Alfred's exasperated ‘My god, sir! You smell like the sewers -”
He made himself not listen after that, focusing on not shutting down again. He was with Lois. He wasn't- Couldn't afford to look even more rumpled than he had been these past few days. She already suspected something.
Lois really was too perceptive for her own good.
He used to love that so much about her. He still did. In a way. But at times things felt awkward between them, now.
“Oh, come on, Smallville, spill.” She said, knocking her shoulder into his while trying not to spill her own coffee. Clark would have found that funny, but he was a little busy trying not to start hyperventilating. “You can't expect to look like Luthor has personally kicked your dog for two days and not be asked about it. Especially not after you almost had a mental breakdown in front of me just now. So, start tattling. Did Sally insult you or what? Do I need to beat someone up?”
Clark cringed at the Sally part, putting down his own half made cup of coffee. He had completely forgotten about that. But this… He- he couldn't tell Lois, surely. She'd know. She'd know immediately and then- And then what?..
She already knew most of his colleagues. In and out of costume. And he really needed advice right now, he needed to tell someone, for someone to tell him that it will be okay, for Bruce to tell him that he hasn't lost his best friend . He can't-
Clark rubbed at his eyes furiously, displacing his glasses, Lois getting comfortable by his side by leaning on the table next to the coffee machine.
“Or is it something from your ‘side gig’?” Lois asked, narrowing her eyes.
Far too perceptive.
Righting his glasses and slouching all the more, Clark let out a breath before letting out a quiet “Yeah..”
Lois just raised a brow before her gaze pointedly swept to the door leading to the roof.
Clark hesitated.
He… He needed this.
Lois was always good at being his anchor, friend or otherwise, even if he had stopped relying on her mostly, because he always had- because he could always talk to-
Well.
The two of them soon ended up on the roof, Clark trying to gather his words while she patiently waited for him to say something. Sometimes he thought he really didn't deserve Lois.
“A friend…” Clark swallowed. “There was… Magic, involved. A truth spell, and… I recently found out that my close friend is… Likes me. In that way. Has liked. For… A long time.”
That was putting it mildly.
His whole world basically turned upside down.
Bruce was…
He still felt so raw just thinking about it.
Lois raised a sceptical eyebrow, making a pointed, audible sip, but seemingly letting him get away with the lack of details. For now. Probably.
He was not looking forward to telling her more.
“So… The exact problem being?” She asked, Clark's lips thinning.
“It's not… I don't-” He sighed, rubbing at his eyes again.
He heard Lois place her cup beside her.
“Didn't you want to start dating again, anyway? Or do you not like her back?” She asked, before quickly adding, with a growing smile, “Is it Diana?”
“What?! N-no, no, it's not, it's a-” Clark bit his tongue, pretty sure he would give it away if he said more.
He knew Lois wouldn't tell anyone. But.
Too many people knew already.
“I don't, uh-” Clark wanted to finish, say that he didn't like Bruce that way. Instead, he just repeated, weakly, “I don't.”
Lois tapped her cup thoughtfully, for a long time, her face not giving anything in particular away and Clark stewing in his own emotions. Then, she sighed.
“Smallville.” She said, bringing his attention back to her, fully. “Do you remember how I wasn't interested in you for a very long time? Before we started dating?”
“Um.” That stung, a little. Actually. “Yeah.”
He had been trying to woo Lois for a long time, but all his attempts were either politely dismissed or snorted at. She always liked Superman, but she didn't come to like him for, well… Him, or this other side of him, for a very long time. Oh, she liked him platonically; they were friends, of course, but not what Clark had wanted at the time. In the end, he managed to win her heart. It was just sad that, well… It didn't last. But they were still amicable, back to being good friends, even.
“Well, let me put it this way: I don't regret agreeing to date you. Actually, I'd say I already had some feelings for you, even before we started, before I even realized. There were doubts, we were colleagues, I was mostly thinking about my career and so on. Sometimes, you just gotta take that leap. And, well, if you're sure you're not into them,” Lois put a big emphasis on sure there, “ then I will be blunt. You have to let go. Your friendship won't survive this. I know you, Clark, you wouldn't want to hurt anyone in that way. Especially not if it was already happening for a long time, knowingly or not.”
Lois' eyes sparkled, deadly serious, and Clark felt himself deflate at the words, mind entirely skipping over the subtle shift to ‘they’ she had made.
He… He didn't want this.
He didn't want to lose Bruce, but deep down he knew things had already changed. There was no going back from this. Even Lois was now telling him it was inevitable.
Clark swallowed, taking off his glasses and wiping at his eyes for a very different reason.
“Thanks, Lo.”
A hand patted his back, the comfort only making him want to cry more.
He needed to speak to him.
He needed to see Bruce.
____─ ·𖤓☾· ─____
It wasn't a few more days until he had managed to wrangle his emotions under enough control to come and seek Bruce out.
Still, like a coward, Clark chose to seek him out in costume.
He knew both of them felt more at ease this way, himself gaining the confidence he usually lacked thanks to not having to hide his powers and Bruce being his truest self with the added bonus of the mask he could use to shut people out if he so wanted and the security of all the gadgets he carried. This quiet, more real side… It wasn't a thing many people were privy to, with him. With or without the mask.
Clark used to be one of those people.
Used to. Or at least thought he was. He had to force down the choking sensation at that.
As he hovered lower, a dark figure crouched on the gargoyle came into view, dark fabric blending in with the night, as if made from shadow itself. It always impressed him just how easily Batman could blend in with the dark, disappearing like he wasn't even there.
Superman made sure the other man knew of his approach, even though it felt like B always did, no matter the circumstance. Still, as soon as Batman spotted him, the man's shoulders grew tense, heartbeat picking up substantially. Slowly, with that inane grace he possessed, he rose from his perch, cape covering more of his dark grey undersuit.
Clark tried to keep his own thoughts under control, not wanting to overanalyze all the previous times he had heard that familiar sound slightly elevated in his own presence. He swallowed.
“Superman.”
Came a measured, toneless reply.
Acknowledgement from the Bat. Nothing more.
Oh how Clark wished that he still thought that last part was true.
“Batman.” He said, carefully, hovering a respectful distance away from the man, but not being entirely able to meet the gaze of those white lenses. “We need to-”
“No.”
Clark felt his brows furrow, mouth closing shut.
“There's nothing to talk about.” Batman said, matter of fact, in that same, annoying, expressionless voice, before adding. “Go home, Clark.”
He already felt the familiar irritation crawl under his skin from whenever his friend was being too difficult. “That's not true.” He rebuffed, annoyance making him more forward. “It isn't true, B, and you know it.”
Batman gritted his teeth.
“There's nothing to talk about.” He repeated, clearly annoyed, that stone cold facade fraying. Before Clark could even react, though, the Bat was already throwing himself off his perch, grappling gun shooting out to catch on the new building.
Superman caught it mid air, throwing off his trajectory and lifting the stubborn man with it, dropping him off on the tallest roof.
The hook, dent by his fingers, clattered to the ground, Batman visibly on edge now, teeth grinding and back hunched slightly, a defensive stance. As if Clark would actually want to fight him. Superman dropped on the roof a few ways away from him, not caring to do it lightly, this time, steps audible as he made his way towards him.
“You can't just run away from this.” He swung his arm out, disbelief and anger and hurt mixing together and seeping into his tone. “From me.” He added, the pain in his voice winning over everything else. He needed this. God, he- He couldn't, he wasn't ready for any of this, for- For-
Bruce swallowed. He straightened, again, dark cape falling over him like a shroud. It was clear he wasn't going to talk, silence stretching. But Clark could hear his heart, the slight unrestful elevation to the way it was beating, the slow, deliberate and calming breaths Batman was trying to take as discreetly as he could feeling like a slap in the face.
“Bruce, please.” Clark begged, an edge of desperation creeping into his tone now. “I need- I just need to talk to you.”
The next breath Batman took was just a little larger, before letting out a curt “Fine” with an exhale.
This. This was good. Clark could feel a slight wave of relief pass over him. This wasn't lost, B would talk to him again, they could still repair this-
”What do you want?”
The gruff question made him come back to reality. Clark awkwardly stepped from foot to foot, stalling just a little. B wasn't going to make it easy for him, obviously. That was fine. This was fine. They were fine.
“I- I just wanted to say that… I'm sorry. I- I didn't know, and- You never said anything, never even- I don't know how I never managed to figure it out.” He ended on, sounding a little defeated even to his own ears.
Now that he thought about it again, it always felt like B was so honest and open with him. He was- He felt like he was at ease, next to Clark. How could he- Was that because..?
“You weren't supposed to.” Was the simple reply.
Clark had to clench and unclench his fists. This man was impossible. But he wasn't- he wasn't going to give back into irritation now.
“Look, I- It's clear now you didn't want me or- or anyone to know.” The memory of how everyone suddenly found out made him wince in sympathy. Batman was a private person, he knew. Having something so personal suddenly revealed without his consent…
Clark sighed. Then, shaked his head, clearing it. “Bruce, I- I thought we were friends.”
He didn't know why this felt like an admission. He cared about Bruce. Cares.
“You were my best friend, and-”
A bitter laugh made Clark's head snap up to meet the cowl's lenses, pausing in his speech. He felt confused, unsure, but the grin he saw on his friend’s face was crooked.
“‘Were’ is the key word here, isn't it?”
Clark froze. Batman's tone was harsh. Downright cruel. There was an almost imperceptible edge to it, one he couldn't parse, but it made his own heart speed up, panic, grief, denial overtaking his mind in a repeated chant of ‘no, no, it can't end like this.’
“Bruce…” He tried, weakly.
“No.” Batman's snarl, angry and raw, sent a chill through his bones. “It's over, Clark. There's nothing more. Nothing to talk about. You got what you wanted. I talked to you. Heard you out. We were friends. And it doesn't matter anymore. Now leave .”
By the end of that sentence, Batman was nearly shouting. A rage Clark couldn't contain anymore, one born from pain, from exasperation, from loss made him scream back.
“We didn't talk about anything!” He shouted, angry and stepping further and threatening to enclose on his friend's personal space. “Stop trying to-”
“Trying to what ?” Came an accusing shout, Batman meeting him further with his own angry step forward. ”You're the one drawing it out, you're the one pestering me and insisting on something as if I owe you anything . I don't want you here. I never wanted you here, get the hell out of my City!”
It hurt. It fucking hurt, and Clark was already in the air, the resulting gust of wind making Batman stumble back and snarl.
“Fine!” He shouted, looming over the Bat, because that's what Bruce was, wasn't he? An unfeeling, ruthless, paranoid, stuck up know-it-all that never needed anyone. Never wanted anyone. Not like Clark did, anyway. He wanted to either laugh or cry, because this was it. This was fucking it, wasn't it?..
“You know what, I don't even know why I try to talk to you. Why I ever tried with you. Your kids are right! You're an asshole, Bruce. I used treasure our friendship,” treasure you, is what he doesn't say, “I thought you trusted me, I thought- but no! You're just a stuck up-”
“Get. The fuck. Out. Of Gotham.” Batman roars and Clark shuts up, eyes flicking red. Because that's what Bruce wants, doesn't he?
He's out of there in seconds.
There's still anger thrumming in his veins, the need to crush something between his fingers, smash it- And it's the only thing he can do to not completely break down himself.
____─ ·𖤓☾· ─____
A month.
It's been a month of complete torture, of stewing in his own anger and hurt and trying to shut out any news of The Bat.
It didn't matter that Batman's nightly activities had increased substantially, to an almost unhealthy degree, it didn't matter that Bruce Wayne suddenly decided to revisit his youth by seemingly sleeping with anything that moved or causing more scandals than he's had in a year.
Clark wasn't even worried . It was all Bruce's own fault, it was always Bruce's fault, so he let himself stay angry, and bitter, even to the point where he started snapping at people until most friends decided it's best to leave him alone, a few harsh words from Diana and a disappointed aura from Lois and Jimmy's wounded looks making him feel slightly guilty. Kon and Jon just kind of… Avoided him now. He tried not to feel hurt about that, too.
Ma and Pa were worried.
Even Perry looked a little concerned for him.
But it didn't matter.
He just… Went on.
Trying not to notice a giant, gaping hole that has opened up in the middle of his own chest.
____─ ·𖤓☾· ─____
Hal was chatting with Green Arrow and Dinah when the Bat finally walked in.
No one really expected to see Batman that day, especially after all the JL meetings he's missed already. It wasn't really that out of the ordinary, for the Bat to go completely MIA for a few weeks, only leaving a vague missive on his absence, busy with a case or another. But him showing up after what happened still felt… Too soon, somehow, the atmosphere tense and uncertain.
Unlike his usual punctual self, he entered last, when everyone was already seated, so silently it actually startled most people. Even Superman seemed to be thrown, eyes wide and hands tense where they were clenched into fists on the table. Hal couldn't help but wonder if Batman managed to make something to hide from his super senses somehow. He wouldn't put it past the man.
Absolutely everything in Hal was screaming that this meeting will go to shit quickly.
Batman didn't take his usual seat. In fact, he just stopped near the empty spot at the table, closest to the door, pose seemingly relaxed and entirely emotionless, before reaching out and placing a small, square lead box on the table.
There were a few audible gasps.
The gloved hand stayed hovering over the box, right over the clasp.
A warning.
Fuck. Hal looked at him, disbelieving, various shades of the same emotion echoing throughout the room of the other leaguers mirroring his own, appealed and disappointed glances all around. Hal always knew the man was an asshole, and, okay, Superman was kind of annoying and snappy lately, but this?
The hurt, betrayed disbelieving expression that flashed on Superman's face quickly turned livid .
Batman didn't seem to care. He took all their stares in stride, letting the room process his gesture in an impassive manner, before calmly stating.
“I would like to announce my resignation from the League.”
Somehow, it felt as if the room had gotten even more silent. Hal noticed Barry shooting him a ‘he can't be serious, right?’ look over the table. He couldn't even react to it properly, trying and failing to process what Spooky has just dumped on all of them.
Christ , this guy-
“Due to circumstances,” Batman continued, entirely uncaring of Hal needing more time to process, “I haven't submitted any prior notice. But, in my stead, I suggest you consider a list of possible members I will be submitting for your consideration, Nightwing being the best candidate to fill my place, seeing as he possesses much the same skill set and many of you have already had prior working relations with him.”
“How many times have you practiced that speech?” Superman suddenly asked, quiet, and petty, and entirely un-superman like. Hal suppressed a wince. He didn't actually want to be here right now.
Batman's eyes narrowed. He didn't take the bait, however. He turned back to the table at large.
“If the matter is settled, then-”
Superman jumped up, almost knocking over his chair.
“Of course it isn't!- Bruce, you can't just spring this on us, you always do this- Stop making decisions for everyone else!”
Somehow, Hal had a feeling this conversation wasn't entirely about the resignation anymore.
“ Someone has to.” Batman cut off, emotion finally seeping into his previously level voice. His hand tightened on the lead box, Superman's eyes flickering with red as he looked at it before staring back into the empty white lenses.
J'onn rose as well, looking a little pained. Shit, Hal really didn't envy the telepath right now. “Please, let's settle this in a dignified-”
“No!” Superman shouted, cutting him off. He looked at J'onn as he spoke, a little more level, now. “He is being unreasonable. He went off grid for a month , and now he comes back and just springs this on us.”
An accusing hand gestured in Batman's direction.
“That is enough.” Wonder Woman said, rising. Her tone demanded respect, and she levelled both disappointed and stern looks at Batman and Superman.
“We should talk about this properly.” Diana added, a little more sympathy in her tone. “I know it has been tough for both of you, for this past month, especially since this personal matter was unfortunately revealed in front of the whole League. However, let's not come to such rash decisions so quickly, or point fingers.”
Superman looked properly chastised, but Batman didn't so much as even flinch.
“Wonder Woman.” He said, back to being all business. “This isn't a rash decision. It’s a necessary one I've come to for the proper functionality of the Justice League.”
Diana frowned at him.
“Look, Batman.” She tried, “ As your friend, I know it must be painful having your feelings being aired out under the-.”
“My feelings do not matter.” Batman cut her off, harshly. Hal doesn't think he's ever heard him speak to Diana that way. None of them did. “They never did. I am able to keep them under control.”
Wonder Woman's look of shock flickered with outrage.
“Don't say that.” She protested, at the same time as Hal heard himself breathe out a disbelieving “Jesus, Spooky…”
Superman looked stricken.
Batman didn't let anyone else speak. Of course he didn't.
“The League cannot function properly as a unit if the Interpersonal relationships between leaders are strained. It simply can't afford Superman being a liability in that way.”
Superman's hands landed on the table, no doubt denting it.
“I'm not the liability here !” He protested, actually angry. In a morbid way, Hal finally understood in a weird and twisted way why Batman has brought Kryptonite with him.
It wasn't to threaten or even subdue him. It was to enrage, to make Superman and everyone else hate him. To make this- Whatever the fuck Spooky was trying to do, easier. To put a metaphorical barrier between them.
To-
To really cut himself off.
God damn, Hal knew the man was a mess but fucking seriously..?
“You are.” Batman stated, simply, cold resolve in his tone. Annoying impassivity, clearly crafted to piss people off, now that Jordan knew what to look for. ” The League needs Superman. My role, however, is easily filled. I'm being rational .”
“ No .” Superman snarled, actually snarled. “You're being a coward .”
“If that is all-” Batman’s tone was just a little clipped.
“Please, Batman.” J'onn interjected, looking at the man with quiet understanding. Understanding and pity .
Hal winced, deciding that he has finally had enough of this too. Spooky wasn't just going to pull this shit on them. Not when they were friends for years, now. Whether the stubborn guy liked it or not, they knew him, they've worked together for years and the rest would surely figure out what he was trying to do soon enough too.
“We know what you're doing.” Hal said, determined, trying to make the others catch on. Judging by Superman's angry look flashing with suspicion, Diana's furrowed brows and Dinah's tilted head some people were starting to catch on, finally. “And it won't work on us. We really should discuss this, I know it must feel like shit and all for you, but-”
“Jordan.” Came Batman's warning growl, fake calm finally breaking. It only spurred Hal on.
“-But we're here for you, okay, man? You don't need to make yourself look like even more of an ass, we already know you too much for that. Yeah, you're an asshole, and you're stupidly stubborn, but don't think we don't see you trying to push away all of us now so it would fuckin’ hurt less.”
“You…” Superman's face finally flashed with realization, the man physically stepping back, the back of his knees audibly bumping into his chair before he looked at Bruce's tensed form. Eyes were finally on Batman, friends and comrades finally perceiving what Hal himself saw. The Green Lantern met the Martian's eyes over the table, challenging. The man didn't nod, but he closed his eyes, and it was more than enough confirmation.
“B, is that why you were-” Superman's voice was still a little angry, but now it was edging more towards sympathy.
And that finally seemed to be the tipping point.
“I don't need your fucking pity . Any of you .” Batman growled, almost screamed. His gaze flickered sharply around the room. “I- Fuck, I get enough of it already! For Christ’s sake, Kal, you told my kids .”
Oh that was definitely an enraged growl. Batman seemed cornered.
Oh. Wait. His kids. Oh, fuck. Superman… Might have actually fucked up there, Hal had to admit.
All traces of fight seemed to draw out of Superman.
Batman stepped back.
Then again.
And again.
“I'm leaving.”
The League was heavily implied, before the man was already out the door, disappearing in a swish of black cape, the little lead box gone with him. Hal saw Diana's aborted movement toward him, but in the end the amazonian just sighed, rubbing at her eyes, everyone reeling from what had just happened.
Barry was trying to catch his eyes, but Hal suddenly felt all too tired, even a little guilty, maybe.
He knew he couldn't let Bats leave things like he wanted, not after he caught on, but… Man. This felt so fucking shitty.
During their next meeting, Batman's resignation from the League was finally discussed. Temporary leave, they've decided on. No one was sure they could get him back, in fact, this whole thing seemed rather pointless, but no one really wanted to try to replace him, either, even though it was never voiced out loud.
Superman was the only one not participating in the discussion, not looking at anyone, still looking lost. No one decided to comment on that, either.