Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

“Okay, okay, see my vision?” Tooru asked Akaashi as he gestured to Hajime, who he’d more or less put on display as his personal model. Dressing him in Tooru’s clothes had been a hell of a struggle Tooru wasn’t prepared for, but finally, he’d settled on something he felt looked both fitting for Hajime but also just enough out of his comfort zone to really give him the ‘celebrity’ experience.

The problem was that Tooru was both taller than Hajime and also a lot skinnier. Even after spending time at the Iwaizumi farm building up muscles and gaining just enough weight to not look like he was standing on death’s door, his clothes were still impossibly tight on Hajime if they fit at all. 

Right now, he had Hajime dressed in a blue Givenchy linen t-shirt with white stitching, an accent pocket on the left breast, and the brand name stitched on the front. It was one of those shirts Tooru had in his closet that he never wore because it was too big (meant to be so) and kind of ugly on him. Hajime filled it out well. The color complimented his skin tone well and the sleeves showed off the muscles of his arms which Tooru personally liked staring at. For pants, those were Givenchy, too, but they were just normal dress pants for the most part. For Hajime, though, they might as well have been a prison. Tooru doubted he’d ever worn anything close to a suit in his life. 

He’d also forced three white gold bracelets on his right wrist as well as a few matching rings, which Hajime let Tooru put on him without complaint only to wiggle his fingers around like a cat with socks on who didn’t understand how to conduct themselves the second they had something covering their hands. It was both endearing and ridiculous. 

Akaashi hummed, squinting at him. “It’s not bad, but the shirt is kind of…”

Tooru groaned, tilting his head back in annoyance. “Ugly, I know. I don’t have anything else that fits him! Bo, what do you have?”

“Depends, what do you want?” Bokuto asked, immediately on board with offering his own clothes up to Hajime. Honestly, Tooru should have asked him earlier. It was stupid of him not to—of course Bokuto’s clothes would fit Hajime better than his own. 

“Tooru, what are you wearing for your stage later?” Akaashi interrupted, his eyes still observing Hajime thoughtfully. Hajime just stood there in front of them, awkwardly holding his arms out like that would help the three of them make their decision. 

“Oh, fuck. Uh… hadn’t thought that far,” Tooru admitted, puffing his cheeks out and pursing his lips. “Bo, what are you wearing?”

“For that part? I was thinking just a regular suit—black dress pants, black jacket, and maybe a silver shirt? Stay on brand. You should do blue, that way we can match. I’m doing a silver tee so it’s like a suit but a little more casual. Do you have a light blue one? Or— ooo I know your colors are like white and light blue, and if you wanna do that, that’s totally cool, but what if you did dark blue? That would go well with silver, and seeing Hajime—sorry, I never even asked, but can I call you Hajime?” Bokuto rambled, pausing only to ask Hajime for permission to call him by his given name. Hajime just nodded, and Bokuto immediately continued right where he left off. “Seeing Hajime in dark blue, I think it’s a good fit for him. Light blue would be a little distracting from… him, you know?”

“Yeah, if you two are showing up together, you should match,” Akaashi agreed with a nod. Tooru would have internally made some joke about Akaashi always taking Bokuto’s side because he was in love with him, but honestly, Tooru could definitely see the vision Bokuto was painting for them, too. “Instead of a full suit, though, maybe just a dark blue collared shirt tucked into dress pants would work for him. Kou, do you have one?”

“You bet!” Bokuto agreed immediately. “Lemme get it!” And with that, he was off, making a B-line for the elevator to get to his own apartment. 

“Be honest,” Hajime finally spoke up in the meantime, having to expend absolutely zero effort to grab Tooru’s attention. “How much money am I wearing right now?”

Tooru grinned, taking a few teasing steps toward him while shamelessly looking him over. “Just clothes? Or jewelry, too? Clothes is probably… ¥300,000?” In front of him, Hajime’s face went a bit white as he looked down at himself like he was both disgusted and horrified by the cost of the clothes he was wearing. Tooru found it absolutely hilarious. “Jewelry—not sure. Six million at least. That’s all real white gold.” If the three hundred thousand had been too much for Hajime, hearing the words ‘six million’ come out of Tooru’s mouth so casually looked like it could single handedly give him a heart attack.

“Do I… have to wear it?”

Tooru smiled, taking another step toward him so they were practically chest to chest, his hands locked behind his back. “No… you can tell me whenever you want if you’re uncomfortable with something. But you wanted the ‘celebrity’ experience, and wearing expensive stuff is kind of a big part of the whole shtick.” Or, in other terms, ‘no, but you’re going to look like you’re going back on your word if you say no.’

Hajime gave him a pained look, but voiced no further objections, and Tooru smiled like a little kid having won an argument. 

Bokuto returned with the shirt, and Hajime changed as quickly as he could (which wasn’t very quick considering he handled the clothes like a single stretch of the fabric would mean the end of his life). He came back out with the blue, long-sleeved collared shirt on with the collar sticking up and the shirt hanging loosely, and Tooru could only laugh at him. 

“Oh my god, come here,” he insisted with a sickeningly love-stricken smile on his face as he made his way over to Hajime. He fixed his collar, rolled up his sleeves neatly to put his arms on display, fixed his jewelry, tucked his shirt into his pants (which made Hajime very embarrassed because Akaashi and Bokuto were still in the room, but Tooru had literally just been tucking his shirt in for him and nothing else), and straightening out his belt. “There,” he whispered, pecking Hajime’s lips gently before stepping back to take in the sight of his work. 

Hajime looked fancy and rich, that was for sure. The funny part of it all, though, was that Tooru didn’t have this star-struck moment he thought he would have where he saw Hajime all done up and fell in love all over again. Hajime looked largely uncomfortable and restrained in the expensive, unfamiliar fabrics—like he didn’t know what to do with himself—and Tooru much preferred him in tanks and shorts. 

“You’re cute,” he said instead, because that was still true. 

But when Tooru came out of his room dressed in a fitted suit with a navy blue tee tucked into his pants—white gold chanel on his wrists, fingers, ears, and neck—Hajime clearly struggled to take his eyes off of him. 

“Hmm, does Iwa-chan think I’m pretty?” Tooru asked in a childish voice, sauntering up to him with the walk of someone who knew how to make their long legs look good when they moved. 

“Shut up,” Hajime said with red cheeks. “I always think you’re pretty. You don’t need… all this to look pretty.”

“Yeah, but Iwa-chan thinks I look particularly good right now,” he pointed out shamelessly, wrapping his arms around Hajime’s neck and smiling at him. “I can tell.” He leaned down, pressing their lips together again, but a bit softer and slower this time. “That’s okay, though. I think you look good, too,” he complimented just to make Hajime blush a little more because he loved the color on him. 

They rode to the concert venue in the back of one of Bokuto’s team’s vans—Hajime staring out the window in awe the entire time while Tooru and Bokuto laughed at his amazement. And he really was amazed by everything— the tall buildings, the crowds of people, the fashion, the billboards and signs, the fact that no matter where he looked there was something to capture his attention. It was cute. Hajime was cute. 

When Tooru leaned over his side to look through the same window and point out the venue, Hajime’s jaw literally dropped in awe at the size of the place. Nippon Budokan was nothing impressive to Tooru who’d been there countless times, but he supposed to someone who’d never seen it before, it could be quite the sight. 

Nippon Budokan was an old-fashioned style arena originally built for judo competitions during the Olympics way before any of them were born. Now, it was used for a myriad of different things including Jpop concerts. 

“Is it center stage?” Tooru asked Bokuto, still smiling at Hajime’s wide-eyed gaze locked on the building. 

“Yup!”

“Oh, great,” Tooru joked with a roll of his eyes. He’d always preferred venues with a backdrop behind him opposed to an open floor stage surrounded by people in every possible direction, but he supposed this was Bokuto and Akaashi— there was never a chance in hell they would waste half the seats in the area to put up a backdrop. 

They went in through the back, Tooru dragging Hajime along by the hand and smiling with that fake facade of his to all the staff members who were there to greet them. Tooru introduced Hajime to more people than Hajime had probably ever met at once in his entire life, and he knew with absolute certainty there was no chance in hell Hajime would remember any of their names. 

They were a bit later than anticipated, so they didn’t have time to drag Hajime through a grand tour of the whole place just to really give him the full experience of being in a huge arena. Sound check was calling their names, but in Tooru’s opinion, that was even more fun for him. 

“Iwa-chan, wanna do sound check with us?” he asked as a random staff member he didn’t know brought him both his regular in-ear monitors and his backup set, which he’d shoved in the back of Bokuto’s van specifically because he anticipated Hajime caving to his request. 

“Sound check?” Hajime asked, his body pressed tightly against Tooru’s like he was scared of straying even a few centimeters too far and getting lost or surrounded by strangers. Tooru had never pegged Hajime as the type of be nervous around other people, but he supposed him being in the city probably had something to do with that. 

“Yeah, we have to test our equipment with the sound engineers and technicians so everything sounds good for the show later,” Tooru explained, opening his kit with his monitors. He pulled them out for Hajime to see, showing them off. “These are in-ears. They’re like… headphones. Concerts get really loud, so it helps us hear the music and stay on beat.” His were white with baby blue engravings on them—not really his style but perfectly on brand with his image. 

“Why are they… shaped like that?” Hajime asked, squinting at them. Tooru just laughed and grabbed Hajime’s hand, dumping his in-ear into his palm. 

“It’s clean I promise,” he assured him, although Hajime didn’t seem to be concerned about that at all as he turned it over and observed it. “It’s custom made to fit my ear. My backup set is, too, but I know when Akaashi started performing he was using Bokuto’s backups, so I figured you would probably be able to use mine if you want the experience. You can wear all the fancy equipment, but you’d have to go out on stage with us.”

Immediately, Hajime paled, but Tooru just reached out to take his in-ear back, holding Hajime’s hand softly in the process. “There’s no fans here, yet. It’s just staff, and you don’t have to sing at all. You can just talk to us if you want and mess around. Bokuto never takes his sound checks seriously unless it’s open to fans. But I know this is a bit… more than what you agreed to do. So you don’t have to,” Tooru assured him. 

He watched Hajime’s throat bob as he swallowed, his eyes flittering around a bit before focusing confidently on Tooru. “I don’t have to sing?”

“Not at all,” Tooru assured him.

“And I’m… allowed to go out there with you?”

“One hundred percent.”

“Then… alright,” Hajime agreed, though he sounded a bit hesitant to do so. Tooru didn’t ask for his confirmations, though—if Hajime was agreeing, he was agreeing. Tooru wasn’t going to question his judgement. 

Tooru set up his own in-ears before having them double checked by the staff, and he handed his extra pair to Hajime to let them put the devices on instead of doing it himself. Tooru enjoyed watching Hajime be surrounded by strangers, standing ramrod straight with wide eyes and tensed muscles as the staff touched and moved him without any regard to his personal space or comfort. When they were done, Hajime glued himself back to Tooru’s side. 

He asked Tooru something then, but Tooru just laughed and shook his head before pointing to his in-ears. “I can’t hear you well with these. You can’t hear me either, right?” he asked, knowing damn well Hajime couldn’t by the shocked and confused look on his face. He reached up toward his ears almost habitually, but froze upon remembering there was tech hooked up to him that he very clearly was scared to mess up by touching the wrong way. 

Tooru walked Hajime on stage confidently, half-expecting Hajime to freeze on his way up and back out, which would have been totally alright. He didn’t, though. He stuck by Tooru’s side and went up on the square-shaped stage at the center of the arena and spun around with wide eyes as he took in the sheer size of the place—something that must not have really registered with him until he was standing in the middle of it all like this. 

Bokuto gaped with a bright smile on his face when he turned around to see both Tooru and Hajime standing up there with him, and—knowing neither of them could hear him—gestured to Hajime before raising his fists in celebration. Tooru laughed at the display, nudging Hajime’s shoulder and hoping he got the hint that Bokuto was happy he’d joined them. 

“Testing, testing,” a voice rang through the in-ears, causing Hajime to flinch. Tooru laughed, looking around and quickly spotting the staff members bringing over their microphones. He took his quickly, taping the top to ensure it was working before bringing it up to his mouth. 

“Can we lower the volume on monitor set number four, please?” he asked, his voice ringing out clearly through his own ears. Hajime immediately turned to look at him with wide eyes, so amazed and dumbstruck by even the smallest things that it made him look like a young child without any understanding of the world. 

“Absolutely. How’s this sound?” the person asked, and Tooru immediately turned to face Hajime with a questioning look as he was handed a microphone of his own, clearly having no idea how to properly hold it or if he was supposed to do something specific with it. 

Hesitantly, he raised the microphone up, copying Tooru’s posture to such an extent that he looked a bit ridiculous. “That’s-” he stopped, flinching at the sound of his own voice. “Uhm…”

“A little lower,” Tooru spoke up for him with a knowing smile. 

“Even lower than that,” Bokuto contributed, “because I tend to scream a bit when I sing and I don’t wanna blow out his eardrums. Oh! Can you turn mine up a bit, too? Thanks!” 

“Ah,” Tooru sighed with a smile into the mic, turning to face Hajime who was just watching him like a man waiting for a cue. “Must be nice to not have nerve damage in your ears.”

Slowly, Hajime raised his mic back up, and Tooru immediately walked over and adjusted how he was holding it. Hajime wasn’t holding it wrong, but he clearly wanted the instruction just to avoid looking stupid. “How loud are yours?”

“You wanna hear?” Tooru asked, waiting for Hajime’s slow nod before turning toward the sound booth at the top of the arena in the way back and waving up at them. “Can you raise the levels on monitor four to the same as mine for just a few seconds?”

“Absolutely. Feel free to test the levels yourself,” the technician said, most likely only raising the levels after speaking themself and giving Tooru the honor. 

He brought his mic up to his mouth, smirking at Hajime. “How’s this sound?” he asked, watching with an immense amount of joy as Hajime flinched and blinked in horror as he realized that Tooru was definitely partially deaf from all his years performing at loud concerts. He waved to the booth, giving them permission to lower them again while Bokuto laughed hysterically, making sure to hold his mic away from himself as he did. 

Akaashi and Bokuto warmed up to one of the songs from their joint album: Together. While they went through the motions, blocking out the dance and commenting on the levels occasionally, Tooru and Hajime hung back silently watching. The need to remain silent didn’t deter Hajime from trying to talk to him, though. He tapped on Tooru’s shoulder to get his attention, gesturing to one of his in-ears, then to Bokuto and Akaashi, and then made a gesture like he was taking one of them out before mouthing ‘why?’ with a confused puppy dog look on his face. In response, Tooru pointed to his own monitors, held up two fingers, covered his ears as a gesture for being unable to hear, pointed to Bokuto and Akaashi, covered only one of his ears, and then held his other hand up to his ‘free’ ear and nodded along to the sound of Bokuto and Akaashi’s voices. He wasn’t really sure if Hajime got his explanation for why Bokuto and Akaashi only wore one in-ear, but he nodded like he did. 

When it came time to test Tooru’s settings with Bokuto, he left Hajime in Akaashi’s care to take his place center-stage. 

“Okay, okay, ready for this one? I picked such a great warm up song for us,” Bokuto insisted, which could only mean it was going to be something stupid. And sure enough, the intro music to the theme song for ICarly started playing. 

“Bo, seriously?” he asked, just as Bokuto started jumping around singing shamelessly while bopping his head along. 

“I know~ You see~ Somehow the world will change for me~ And be so wonderful~”

When he turned to face Tooru, smiling at him and encouraging him to continue, Tooru wanted to deny him because the song was stupid, and this was a Jpop concert so why the hell would he sing along to an American kid’s show theme song that Bokuto assumed he knew the lyrics to? But Bokuto looked at him like he was having the absolute time of his life, and Tooru caved within half a second. 

“Live life~ Breathe air~ I know somehow we’re gonna get there~ And feel so wonderful~”

“Do you wanna try?” Tooru offered Hajime after they had all got their equipment set. For the most part, he had just stayed off to the side silently watching and nodding his head along as they all sang and fooled around. Bokuto had picked Akaashi up and thrown him over his shoulders at some point, Tooru nearly fell off the stage while jumping around with Bokuto, and Tooru had even complained over the loud speakers for the whole arena to hear when Bokuto mentioned Praise being on the setlist, because hadn’t the world had enough of that performance already?! 

Well, the staff found it funny, so they must have thought he was joking, but he was 100% serious. The answer, apparently, was no, the world had not had enough of Praise yet, which meant Tooru was going to have to distract Hajime during that entire song so he wasn’t scarred for life like Tooru was. 

“Uhm… su- sure,” Hajime stuttered, clearly unsure of himself and not even meeting Tooru’s eyes. But Tooru had been entirely expecting Hajime to say no, so the second the word ‘sure’ came out of his mouth, Tooru nearly tripped over his own feet in his attempt to do a 180 and gape at Hajime. 

“Really?! Wait, really?!” he asked, a smile overtaking his face. “Bo! Bo, please tell me you have something!”

“Uh… I have… a guitar?” Bokuto offered with a guilty expression. “Like… a physical guitar?”

“That works!” Tooru immediately agreed.

“If it’s too much trouble-” Hajime began, but Tooru wasn’t hearing any of it. 

“It’s not. Iwa-chan, I promise it’s not,” Tooru assured him, practically bouncing in his place from excitement. At the very least, Hajime gave him a small smile for that. 

They brought him a tuned guitar with a mic already attached to pick up the sound, and Hajime accepted it with a very soft thank you before pulling the strap over his head and lightly dragging his fingers over the strings to hear the way it sounded. It must have been jarring to hear the instrument in his in-ears instead of naturally, but Hajime seemed to adjust fairly quickly. 

“What do you want to play?” Tooru asked with a giddy smile as Bokuto pulled Akaashi against his chest, wrapping his arms around his front and resting his chin on Akaashi’s shoulder. 

“I’ve never heard you play before, Hajime! This is so exciting! Oh, but no pressure or anything, I swear. One time, Akaashi and I were performing in Paris and I just like… forgot to sing entirely. It was my own concert, too. My voice has also cracked on stage more times than I can count, so like seriously. No pressure. This is just sound check.”

“I did not need a reminder about what you two did in Paris, thanks,” Tooru said, causing Bokuto to laugh and Akaashi to blush slightly. Then, he turned his full attention on Hajime, smiling at him. “Whenever you’re ready. And whatever you want.”

“Are you gonna sing with me?” Hajime asked, once again lightly strumming the strings before reaching up to the neck and adjusting the capo to the first fret. 

“If you want me to,” Tooru agreed, honestly willing to do anything to make Hajime comfortable doing something that was clearly so far out of his depth. Even this was more than he could have ever anticipated. 

This was Hajime… singing in front of strangers. The thought of that alone was mind blowing, nevermind the reality of it. 

Then Hajime began to play, and Tooru recognized the song immediately. He plucked the strings softly in a rhythmic pattern, his fingers pressing down on the strings over the third, fourth, and fifth frets just like Tooru used to as he played the intro to Alexandros’ Starrrrrrr, the acoustic Bedroom Joule version. 

Tooru felt his throat close up at the sound of it coming from Hajime’s hands—the fact that he could have picked any song to play right now, but he played Tooru’s favorite. When had he even learned to play it?

Tooru brought his mic up to his lips, not missing a beat as he began to sing. “I see a light in darkness~ Waited for thousand years or less~ My feet stopped before the night of light~ I lost the words, I was paralyzed~” His voice mixed with Hajime’s almost immediately, and after just a few seconds of them singing together, Tooru raised his voice just slightly and Hajime lowered his to create a harmony. 

He had sung with Hajime plenty of times before, but seeing Hajime at the center of a huge stage Tooru had performed at more times than he could count, standing under the stage lights with the empty arena stands as his backdrop, wearing Bokuto’s expensive clothes and Tooru’s fancy jewelry, and playing Tooru’s favorite song with a small, slightly nervous smile on his face… Tooru wasn’t sure which part of that specifically made him feel like he was falling head first in love with the man all over again, but he felt it. 

There would simply never be another person on the planet Tooru could ever possibly love as much as he loved Hajime. 

---

“Okay so… I know I already gave you the song,” Bokuto insisted, sitting across the table from him and Hajime while they finished crafting a joint text back to Mami to assure her that Hajime had not, in fact, died the second he stepped foot into the city and had, in fact, found himself at a huge arena surrounded by celebrities and dressed in millions of yen worth of clothes and jewelry.

Akaashi trailed behind Bokuto with a small plate of food which, guessing by the amount on it, was meant for the two of them to share. The catering company had prepared food for everyone, but Tooru had chosen not to eat because he couldn’t stomach the thought of eating processed food he didn’t know the origins of. Hajime hadn’t insisted he eat after Tooru assured him he would eat later and even cook for him if he liked. Hajime did not have the same reservations, and though he’d already made many comments about the food tasting weird or processed, he was still eating it. 

“The song we’re supposed to sing together? You mean the one I… didn’t listen to?” Tooru asked guiltily as Bokuto pulled out Akaashi’s chair for him. “I swear I meant to. I just got distracted packing my apartment and stuff!”

“Actually, that’s great! Well, not really, but I know you can learn it fast,” Bokuto said, waving his worries away. “Because I actually… well, I had a thought!” he continued, pulling up the notes app on his phone before placing it flat down on the table and spinning it around to face him. Tooru reached out, pulling it closer and putting it between him and Hajime so they could both look at it. “We can totally sing the original lyrics if you want, but after everything… this morning, you know, I figured… well, I know we’re not… you know, anyway! I just… I figured the old lyrics didn’t really… fit anymore. They seemed lackluster in comparison to everything, so on our way over and while you guys were getting dressed—I finished them just now. Basically, I kinda rewrote a bunch of the lyrics. What do you think?”

Tooru read through the lyrics quickly, skimming them and feeling his own eyes widen in shock. “Uhm… Bokuto?”

“Yeah?”

“You used the word ‘fuck’ in these lyrics three times,” he pointed out, as if Bokuto could have possibly missed that considering they were the lyrics he wrote. 

“Kou, seriously?” Akaashi asked under his breath, clearly unaware of the new contents of the song. 

“It also says ‘goddamn’,” Hajime pointed out, gesturing to the swear Tooru had missed. 

“Yeah, yeah- and! These bridges? I mean, don’t get me wrong, Bo. These lyrics go hard. I- actually, I kind of love them. But, uhm… are you sure we should be… singing this?” he asked a bit skeptically. It wasn’t just the swears, either. The meaning of the lyrics, though generally ambiguous, were extremely blameful, hateful, and spiteful. Tooru personally loved it, but he also understood the expectations and decorum of the industry.

Bokuto shrugged, and the second Tooru and Hajime both looked up from the phone, Akaashi reached over to scroll through the lyrics himself. “I wanted your last performance to really mean something,” he justified. “This felt more meaningful. Like I said, though! We can totally just do the original lyrics instead if you’d rather.”

“Kou…” Akaashi mumbled, grimacing at the notes app in front of him. The look got worse and worse as he continued scrolling, and all Bokuto could do was turn to him with a partially guilty and partially hopeful look, like he was silently begging Akaashi to agree to help him handle the backlash. “Konoha is going to kill you for this.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time. And, I mean, come on. It’s good, right?”

“It is good, but Ukai’s going to hear about this and reprimand you, too.”

“But it’s Tooru’s last performance!”

“I understand that, but…” Akaashi began, making the fatal mistake of looking Bokuto in the eyes. K.O.. He lost. 

Tooru snickered to himself, leaning into Hajime’s side knowingly as he watched Akaashi’s steadfast expression slowly break under the weight of Bokuto’s hopeful pleading. They were so… in love.

“... Fine.”

“YAY!” Bokuto cheered with a grin that said he knew he would win all along. Tooru couldn’t imagine how many times Bokuto used his charm over Akaashi like this, but he had to imagine it was quite often. “So? Tooru? What do you think?”

Tooru shrugged, leaning back into Hajime’s awaiting arm. “Akaashi agreed, so I’m down. Under the very strict condition that you tell Ukai it was your idea and not mine.”

“Oh, I planned to do that anyway,” Bokuto assured him with a nod. 

“Wait, so you’re going to go out and perform a song you don’t even know, yet?” Hajime asked, reaching out toward Akaashi who immediately handed Bokuto’s phone back to him. 

“Why not?” Tooru asked, looking down at the screen of the phone as Hajime scrolled through the lyrics again, glazing over them and committing little bits to memory here and there.

“Won’t this be a lot to memorize?”

Tooru looked up at Hajime again, giving him a deadpan expression. “Iwa-chan, I’m an A-List actor.”

“... Oh… right.”

That got a couple laughs from the group, and Tooru couldn’t help but smile proudly to himself as he settled more comfortably against Hajime’s side, basking in the feeling of being happy.

---

“If it can’t be reversed in five minutes, don’t do it,” Tooru instructed as the stylists sat Hajime down in a chair in front of a brightly lit vanity. Hajime was predictably tense, unused to being so shamelessly touched and handled by strangers and also entirely unfamiliar with anything to do with makeup or hair styling. “And don’t you dare lighten his skin with foundation,” he added with a light smile so the stylists would think he was joking a bit, but he was so serious. If they whitewashed him, he would go into a rage. 

The four of them sat in the dressing room together getting styled—Akaashi on his phone scrolling through Twitter, Bokuto chatting with his stylists and laughing at all the faces Hajime was trying not to make in the mirror, and Tooru half reviewing the lyrics for the song he would be singing with Bokuto (which he still had no idea what it sounded like) and half poking fun at Hajime while taking pictures to show Haruhi and their friends. 

They tried to keep Hajime’s makeup neutral since they insisted bright Jpop-typical makeup would look weird with his build and skin tone. They sharpened his jawline with concealer, brushed a bit of eyeshadow on his lids, somehow managed to get mascara on him, evened out his brows with an eyebrow pencil, and a few other things that Tooru didn’t catch. 

He definitely saw Hajime flinching anytime they got near his eyes, though—constantly asking “what’s that?” and “does that have to go on my eye?”. He blinked every time he wasn’t supposed to, constantly apologized for moving even when he hadn’t, looked toward Tooru for help about fifty times, and kept insisting that he felt “heavy” and “weird” and “sticky” which Tooru was pretty sure was just the feeling of makeup. 

Tooru swore Hajime’s eyes nearly blew out of his head when he looked over to see Tooru sitting as still as a statue while the stylists drew on his waterline and made him up, never once flinching and always doing exactly as he was instructed. 

In the end, Hajime looked clean in a way that was actually a bit comical, and before he could say anything, Tooru raised his camera to take a picture of him. Hajime groaned, but he ended up insisting on some with Tooru, and then Bokuto jumped into the group and dragged Akaashi over with him. 

They did backstage pictures for Bokuto and Akaashi, both of them making sure to drag Tooru into several of them since he would be performing at the show, too. And, of course, no celebrity experience was complete without dragging Hajime in front of a bunch of cameras and coaching him on how to pose and angle his head to look best in pictures. 

When the doors to the venue opened, Hajime seemed to be a fiery bundle of nerves. They were underground, too—underneath the stage since there was no true ‘backstage’ area—so he couldn't even see the people coming in, but he could hear them and that seemed to be enough. 

Tooru listened to the song with Hajime tucked away in a corner with a pair of earbuds shared between them, subbing out the original lyrics for the new ones and taking Hajime’s input on how to sing them. It was a surprisingly good song considering it was coming from a J-pop idol. The instrumental was clearly electric guitar, and it had more of a rock vibe to it than a pop vibe, which was a bit shocking considering it was Bokuto’s song.

When it was time for the concert to start, Tooru had Hajime fitted with a pair of earplugs he promised wouldn’t prevent him from hearing the show and dragged him off to the depths of the arena to an area in one of the skyboxes that had been reserved for them so they could actually watch the concert, because as cool as being backstage must have been, Tooru knew being able to see an actual concert like this probably took the cake. 

Hajime was enamored, too. He was impressed by everything— the bright lights, the sea of fans, the lightsticks, the chanting, the volume of the music, the way the floor shook beneath his feet with the base, the special effects on the stage, the way Bokuto and Akaashi were framed on the big screens, the music, and even the energy of the arena. 

For Tooru it was just another concert… and yet, with Hajime so amazed by everything, it didn’t really feel like that. It felt… fun. Just like everything else when Hajime was involved. 

“I have to go down and get ready,” Tooru told him at one point, hand on his shoulder and yelling over the music. Still, Hajime pulled one of his earplugs out to hear him, and Tooru repeated himself. “Are you going to be okay up here alone for a while? I’ll be back up as soon as I’m done.”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine,” Hajime assured him, raising his own voice to yell over the deafening sound of Bokuto’s voice over the speakers. His own hand found Tooru’s hip like the returned touch was instinctual, and Tooru smiled at him.

“If they start a new song and you see Bokuto dip Akaashi back, close your eyes and pray you aren’t scarred for life,” he warned him with a semi-joking grin. Hajime laughed with him in return, having absolutely no idea what he was talking about (Tooru intended to keep it that way).

“Should I say good luck or is that cheesy?”

“I mean, I don’t need it but you could still say it,” Tooru told him, leaning so close to him that Hajime’s shoulder was pressed into his chest. 

“Good-”

Of course, Tooru didn’t let him finish. He leaned in, stealing Hajime’s lips into a kiss they both ended up smiling into. Tooru savored every second of it before pulling away, licking his lips and tasting the mixture of their makeup. 

“Mm. I like the taste better when it’s just you.”

He couldn’t see well with the dimmed lights, but he was pretty sure Hajime blushed as he turned away and coughed into the crook of his arm. Tooru kissed his cheek one last time with a laugh before pulling away from him, meeting the staff at the back door to their box so he could be led back down to the under-stage area. 

They touched up his makeup, set up his in-ears, fixed his hair, and straightened out his clothes, making him up into his stage persona the same way they always used to. Tooru stood there stretching his fingers out and wiggling his toes in his shoes to ground himself, not panicking at all but treating himself as if he were anyway. He coached himself through deep breathes, meditative thoughts, grounding techniques, and gentle reminders, just in case. Just in case it was too much, just in case it was too overwhelming—he wanted to be able to handle it. 

This was his final performance, after all. 

“Okay, alright. Thank you, Keiji,” Bokuto spoke into his mic as their current song came to an end. Tooru watched on the screen—a TV set up to mirror what the cameras were recording so they could see how the concert was going—as Akaashi waved to the audience and descended the steps into the pit where he would be led off by security back to the underground break area for a short rest. Bokuto stayed on stage, giving himself a moment to catch his breath before smiling wildly at everyone. 

“Wow… seeing everyone and all the fans, I swear I never get tired of it. There’s so many of you,” he mused, eyes glittering in the stage lights and filled with so much raw amazement and appreciation that Tooru had never been able to fake to such an extent. For Bokuto, though, it wasn’t fake. It was all real. 

“Can I just- hold on, can I try something real quick?” he asked, his eyes flittering around like he was waiting for approval from the crew despite everything up to this point being planned. “I wanna hear everyone right now, all at once! Let’s see how loud you can get, come on! Ready?! Ah! Ka! Shi! Ah! Ka! Shi!” he chanted, pausing to hold his microphone out to the crowd as they all continued his chant. He smiled to himself, nodding his head as the lift on the stage began to lower. Someone patted Tooru on the back encouragingly, and he crawled up onto it. 

“Bo! Ku! To! Bo! Ku! To!” Bokuto continued on stage, guiding the crowd into chanting his own name back at him. Tooru couldn’t help but smile to himself and roll his eyes at the behavior, but it was endearing, and Tooru enjoyed seeing the energized smile on his friend’s face when the crowd roared back at him. 

Then, Bokuto smiled chaotically, bringing the mic back to his lips as the crowd quieted slightly to hear what he had to say next. “Oi! Ka! Wa! Oi! Ka! Wa!”

Half of the arena chanted it with him. The other half descended into madness. 

Tooru took a moment to imagine the expression on Hajime’s face when he heard an entire arena of fans that weren’t even his own lose their shit at the mere mention of his name. On the screen, Bokuto was grinning like a maniac, letting the crowd get their screams out of their systems before bringing his mic back up to his lips. 

“We’re gonna try something new tonight!” he insisted loudly with a smile stretched across his lips, and once again, the crowd lost it. “A new song! A one-time performance! Something special!” he continued, giggling into his mic while the crowd made a collective attempt to break the sound barrier. “GET ON OUT HERE TOORU!”

The stage lift began rising just as the electric guitar instrumental began to play, and Tooru stood up with it, letting himself rise to the stage as the crowd raved. Bokuto’s face was the first thing he saw, and he immediately held his hand out to Tooru, offering to help him off the platform. Tooru took his hand, jumping up prematurely and waving around the crowd with a real, genuine smile on his face. 

It was just a stage. It was just another crowd in another arena at another concert, and Tooru had done this so many times the process was instinctual at this point. 

But he was on stage with a friend. He was singing a song his friend had wrote for them to sing together, Hajime was in the audience watching him, and this was his last time ever being on stage like this. 

This wasn’t just a stage. This wasn’t just a concert like any other. This was his curtain call, and Tooru felt invigorated by it. No shortness of breath, no tightness in his chest, no nervous jitters, no stiff muscles, and no panicked thoughts. 

This must have been what it felt like to get up on a stage in front of thousands of people and enjoy it. 

The guitar continued, and when it came time for Bokuto to start the first verse, he lifted his mic to his lips, falling head first into the style of the music. “I love this life, my job, and who I’m meant to be~!” he sang, the crowd immediately roaring in approval. He dragged out the words, meshing with the rock instrumental so perfectly you would have thought he was made for it. “And due to that, there was so much I couldn’t see~! But I’d say ‘Life’s so great, oh wouldn’t you agree~?’ Not see his scars or woes or burns in third degree~!”

He moved forward, making his way around the edge of the stage and singing to the fans at the barricade while Tooru just followed him, spinning around and taking in the sight of the arena and bobbing his head along because even though he was on stage, he didn’t have to dance for once. He could just exist there. 

“I used to hope and wish that we could get along~!” Bokuto continued, pulling the mic closer as he raised his voice, pushing more emotion into it and causing it to rasp intentionally. “But turned my back on him for way to goddamn long~!” The crowd came to life at the realization that Bokuto just swore, and all Tooru could do was smile knowingly to himself because they had no idea. “And then I made the call ‘cus I had to be strong~! But that was such a lie and I was fucking wrong~!!!”

Tooru pulled his own mic up to his lips, hearing his voice ring out over the speakers effortlessly as he began to sing along, his voice matching Bokuto’s like it was the easiest thing in the world. And the crowd ate him up—his voice, his performance, his energy, and the song.

“You’re getting in my head~ It’s just the path we tread~ You don’t see through our eyes, you idolize our problems instead~ Can’t you see what’s ahead~? It’s us alone, mislead~ We tell so many lies, antagonize ourselves, enough said~!”

“I! CAN’T! WAIT! TO!” Bokuto screamed into the mic, bent over and fully immersed in the performance while Tooru joined him, throwing himself into every lyric and every beat, “GET BAAAAAACK TOOOOO YOOOUUUU!!”

They turned toward each other on stage like they’d planned it, but the truth was that nothing about this performance had ever really been planned. “Where home feels right and I sleep through the night, where your care~ feels~ true~”

“AND I! CAN’T! WAIT! TO! ESCAAAAAAAAAAPE IIIITTTT AAAALLLL!!! The memories that haunt me, now here it’s just us three, I won’t let~! You~! Fall~!”

“Not aaaaaaggaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAA~ A~ A~ AAAAAIIINN~” Bokuto screamed into the mic, projecting his voice out as far as he could while Tooru smiled and jumped back to the beat of the fast paced music, leading himself over to the edge of the stage as the crowd screamed and yelled.

When the second verse started, Tooru threw himself into it with every fragment of his being, uncaring of the audience or their staff or Nakazawa or anyone else in his life. 

“I hate my fame and class and worthless empty throne~! And I’d have run so fast if only I had known~! But now I’m here and trapped and plastered on your phone~! Losing my grip of that which should have been my own~!”

The crowd roared for him—he could hear it even through the noise cancellation of his in-ears—and for once, Tooru fed off of it. He took their cheers and screams and he got louder, raspier, less caring of how he sounded as long as he got his point across because this wasn’t about him—it was about the song and the music.

“You say you gave me this, am I supposed to bow~?! Or give my thanks to you for pieces you allow~?! I broke my bones for you, how pretty am I now~!? I hate your praise, you’re fucking holier-than-thou~!!!!”

“You’re getting in my head~” Bokuto continued, and Tooru joined him despite the burning in his throat because it felt good. God, singing on stage and being on stage felt so good when he could just be on stage and not have to worry about how perfect and flawless and sellable he was. “It’s all the things we dread~ How you avert your eyes and idealize the ways that we bled~ Can’t you see what’s ahead~? It’s your hands stained with red~ I fell for all your lies, dehumanize my corpse in my stead~!!!”

“I! CAN’T! WAIT! TO! GET BAAAAAACK TOOOOO YOOOUUUU!!” They screamed together, the mics straining against their voices as they came together at the center of the stage. “No camera in sight~! No more pain, only light~! No more star! De~but~!! AND I! CAN’T! WAIT! TO! ESCAAAAAAAAAAPE IIIITTTT AAAALLLL!!! We’ve been through enough, and ohhh it’s been rough~! We are not~! Your~! Dolls~!”

“ANYYYMOOOOOOOOOOO~OOOOOOOOOHHHHHH~ OH~ OH~ OOORRREEEE~!!!” Tooru screamed into his mic, closing his eyes tightly as he projected his voice loud enough to fill every crevice of the area.

As the music moved into a short instrumental, the crowd came alive with an array of screams he couldn’t quite hear, and for the first time in his entire career as an idol, Tooru reached up and pulled one of his in-ears out to change that. 

The second he pulled the monitor out, it was like the entire world came to life around him—and really, for the first time ever, Tooru loved it.

The instrumental calmed, and at the same time, Bokuto and Tooru raised their mics to their lips and sang softly, both of their voices slightly raspy and stretched thin with unrestrained smiles. 

“You’re getting in my heeeeaaaad~” A pause. A moment to hear the crowd around them. “I doubt myself in your steeeaaaaddd~” Another pause. A breath. “When you ignore my cries and traumatize me~ Till~! IIIIII’M DEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAD~!!!!!”

The instrumental picked up again, and Tooru banged his head along to it shamelessly as he waited for the final chorus, which he and Bokuto sung together with all the passion of two people who, above all else, loved music. 

“NOW I! CAN’T! WAIT! TO! GET BAAAAAACK TOOOOO YOOOUUUU!! WHERE HOME FEELS RIGHT AND I SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT, WHERE YOUR CARE~! FEELS~! TRUE~!  AND I! CAN’T! WAIT! TO! ESCAAAAAAAAAAPE IIIITTTT AAAALLLL!!!”

Bokuto pulled his mic back, letting Tooru have the last line all to himself, and he sang it with every fiber of his body—with every intent for the recipient to feel everything he’d ever felt over the past decade of his life. “AND BY ‘ALL’ I MEAN YOU ‘CUS FUCK YOU, I AM THROUGH~! I AM NOT~! SO~! SMAAAAAAAAAALL~! ANYMOOOOOOO~ OHHHH~ OH~ OHHH~ OHHHOHOOOOOORE~!!!!”

Bokuto didn’t even wait for the instrumental to finish out, rushing over to him and picking him right up off his feet to swing him around. Tooru laughed into his mic as he clung to Bokuto’s shoulders, letting himself be manhandled as the music finished out and the roar of the crowd rose to a deafening volume. 

---

The remainder of the concert was a blur. Lazy yet needy kisses with Hajime who grabbed him the second he returned to the skybox. Whispered praises of “you did so well”, “that was incredible”, and “I’m so proud of you.” Post-concert pictures and socializing with Tooru’s hand wrapped firmly around Hajime’s waist. More pictures. Sitting backstage in each other's arms while Bokuto and Akaashi met with their fans. Walking out of the venue and being bombarded by paparazzi which resulted in Hajime nearly tripping into Tooru and the rest of them all laughing at him. Toasting high-end champagne in the car on the drive back which Hajime choked and gagged at before nearly losing his lungs when Bokuto told him the cost of it. 

They ended the night at Tooru’s apartment—Bokuto and Akaashi bidding them goodnight and heading to their own apartment to shower and get some rest since they all had a long road trip in the morning and they clearly wanted to give the two of them some privacy. Tooru, for once, wasn’t dead on his feet after a show (an outcome which a myriad of things could be attributed to). 

Tooru offered to cook, and so Hajime ended up at the kitchen bar counter, his face slightly red from having scrubbed his skin raw in his attempts to get the makeup off. Tooru hadn’t even bothered to remove his yet—more consumed with cooking and also uncaring of the feeling of the products on his skin at this point. 

Hajime was also dressed much more casually, now. He was wearing a pair of Bokuto’s sweatpants and also one of his tank tops for the night (again, since he didn’t fit in Tooru’s clothes). As much as Tooru would have loved to see him in his clothes, though, Hajime looked fantastic in Bokuto’s. Hajime always looked fantastic, though. Nevermind the clothes, Tooru just liked looking at Hajime regardless of what he was wearing. 

“I’m glad you’ve been cooking,” Hajime told him, leaning against the counter and watching him sauté the vegetables. 

“I learned from the best,” Tooru reminded him with a grin, thinking he might seriously never get tired of looking at Hajime. It had been a long six months without him, but even after all that time, knowing he was there and feeling his presence was as natural as if he’d been there all his life. “Besides,” he continued, listening to the sizzling of the vegetables and pushing them around in the pan with his spatula, “I promised you I wouldn’t kill myself, didn’t I? To me, that meant taking care of myself, too. So I’ve been trying.”

Tooru didn’t realize Hajime had come up behind him until his oversized arms were snaking around Tooru’s hips and wrapping around his middle, pulling Tooru against his chest and into the warmth of his embrace without ever tearing him away from his task. Tooru let himself melt back into him as he continued cooking, somewhat moving on autopilot as he let his thoughts be overcome by Hajime—the smell of him, the closeness, the warmth of his skin, the gentleness of his hold. 

“I’m proud of you,” Hajime whispered against the back of his neck, and the feeling made Tooru shiver. 

He hadn’t lacked for physical affection since coming back to Tokyo (or Ibaraki, if you wanted to get technical about it). Ukai touched him when he permitted it, and he hugged Akaashi and Bokuto at least once every time he saw them like it was the only way any of them knew how to express they were genuinely happy to see each other. But Hajime’s touch was different. Hajime’s touch was soft, lingering, and all-consuming in a way that made Tooru’s head feel empty and quiet. 

“I was worried,” Hajime confessed quietly, his words lingering over his skin and clinging to him. Slowly, Hajime let go with one of his hands to reach up and nudge Tooru’s wrist, prompting him to continue cooking when it seemed he’d forgotten. To be fair, he’d been distracted. “Especially when Haruhi showed me the video of you passing out on stage. I assumed the worst—came rushing over here ready to tear Ukai’s head off his shoulders if it meant getting to you. I had no idea you were actually… okay.”

“I was okay,” Tooru assured him, stirring the vegetables with one hand and intertwining their fingers with his other. “But I want to be better than okay, and I am now that you’re here.”

“That’s not how that works,” Hajime insisted, pressing his cheek into the back of his shoulder while he reached forward to turn the burner off, scraping the contents of the pan into the bowl he’d already set aside for the vegetables. 

“It is to me,” Tooru countered, keeping his voice quiet because for some reason, despite the empty apartment, it felt more private that way—like something shared intimately between the two of them. “Everything started feeling better when Ukai asked me if I wanted to go home.” He made sure to get every bit out of the pan before placing it on one of the burners in the back—not the one that was still hot. “Before that, even though things were better than how they used to be, I still felt kind of hopeless… like I was trapped no matter what I did. I don’t think I ever would have gotten better than just okay in that situation.”

He sighed, bracing his hand on the counter space to the right of the stove while Hajime continued holding him close from behind. “I didn’t admit it much to Akaashi. I didn’t want to think about it because I knew it wasn’t fair to you and the family, but I was worried, too. I was worried that even if I did have the chance to go back to you, you might turn me away or say I wasn’t wanted. And I knew that was stupid to think, but I couldn’t help…”

Hajime’s arms abandoned Tooru’s waist immediately, and with nothing but a light touch on his hip, Hajime managed to turn him around so his back was pressed into the edge of the counter. He reached up, burying his hand in Tooru’s hair at the back of his neck, and Tooru moved forward without even having to think, letting the soft feeling of Hajime’s lips wash over him. When they pulled away, Tooru rested his forehead against Hajime’s, his hands resting on Hajime’s chest and shoulders. 

For a moment, he just kept his eyes closed. He let himself just feel Hajime all around him, and it was calming in a way no ginger tea or meditation tactics could ever be. 

“Thank you for coming to get me, Hajime,” Tooru whispered, leaning into him and pressing his lips against Hajime’s once more—this time no more than a ghost of a breath with an accompanying sweetness and a soft brush of skin to skin contact. “Thank you for caring enough to come for me.” A little more pressure this time—a little more insistent. His arms wrapped around Hajime’s neck, and Hajime’s hold on his waist solidified. “Thank you for begging me to come back with you and making me feel so loved.”

Hajime’s hands were on his waist before he could even tell what was happening, lifting him up like he weighed nothing and sitting him down on his own counter before slotting himself between his thighs and bringing their lips together like he couldn’t wait a second longer.

And Tooru was a goner. He was a goner the second he looked away from the gorgeous starry night sky to see Hajime looking down at him all that time ago, and he’d been a goner ever since. 

He wrapped his legs around Hajime’s waist, his hands cupping his jaw as he kissed Hajime like he needed him, and that was because he did. Six months of guilt and agony, wishing he could hold Hajime again or even just see him, and now he finally had him again. If nothing else, he just wanted to kiss him and know for a fact that he would never let go of him again. 

Hajime held him close, one hand on his waist and the other under his thigh, and Tooru relished in the feeling of being touched so intimately by someone who cared enough to want him. 

When they pulled back from each other’s lips, they were both breathless, panting warm breaths against each other’s skin and commandeering the space in between them like it shouldn’t have been allowed to exist in the first place. 

“Tell me about the past six months,” Hajime whispered in the still air between them, his lips softly brushing against Tooru’s as he spoke. “We can spend the whole night just… talking. I want to hear what you’ve been doing and how you’ve been. I want you to tell me all of it.”

The way he whispered his desires to just know the most trivial details of Tooru’s days felt like a plea, and his hands gently holding Tooru so close felt like an act of worship. “I will,” Tooru promised him, because how could he ever hope to do anything else when Hajime has asked so warmly? “Will you tell me about the farm? And the family?” he asked, brushing his fingers through Hajime’s hair like he was obsessed with the feeling. He kind of was. He was obsessed with anything Hajime. 

“Of course I will,” Hajime whispered back, leaning forward and pressing their lips together again softly. It was slow and sensual and gentle in a way that made Tooru feel like he was floating. “But we should eat first.”

Tooru groaned, and he felt more so than heard Hajime’s smirk. “I am sitting right here kissing you, legs wide open, and you’re thinking about food?” Hajime laughed almost unashamedly as he pulled back, and Tooru immediately reached out like the act of stepping away was downright treasonous of him. “Uhm, where in the hell do you think you’re going?”

“To eat the food you went through so much effort to cook for us,” Hajime told him with that same goddamn beautiful smirk that Tooru was sure could send him walking straight into a busy street with how captivating it was. He pulled himself back between Tooru’s thighs, kissing him a bit more firmly on the lips before pulling back and yanking Tooru off the counter with him. 

And okay, fine. Maybe Tooru could stow away his pout and let Hajime eat if it meant getting to see his face light up in amusement like that again. 

Tooru would do just about anything to see him look at him like that. 

---

“WOAAAHHH HE’S SO TAN!”

“Hinata, dumbass, stop.”

“Uh… hi.”

Tooru nearly snorted as Hajime—his tan and beefy farmer boyfriend dressed in a pair of Bokuto’s old jeans and a white t-shirt with Tooru’s name printed on the front—waved shyly to the orange-headed ball of energy from behind Tooru’s shoulder like he was using him as a shield. 

“Hinata, cool your shit,” Sawamura Daichi—the ever reliable leader of Karasuno—lectured, coming up behind him and firmly grabbing him by the collar of his shirt to restrain him before giving Tooru a slightly nervous and apologetic look and bowing toward Hajime. 

Hajime, not knowing what to do with himself, just shook his head and bowed his head back like an idiot. 

“EEEEYYYY HINATA!” Bokuto called out—a box of Tooru’s Mami plants held precariously in his arms as he carried it through the lobby of the building toward the trunk of the car they’d be taking down to Yamaguchi. It was Bokuto’s car, of course, and it was definitely the fanciest car Hajime had ever seen in his life because his jaw dropped upon seeing it. 

“I can get those!” Tooru tried to insist, but Bokuto just huffed and hoisted the box up in his arms, raising his chin so he was looking down at Tooru even though… that didn’t really work because Tooru was taller than him. Tooru just rolled his eyes with a smile, putting his hands up in defense. “Fine. Whatever. Do all the heavy lifting yourself if you insist.”

“He does,” Akaashi assured him from the side of the car as Bokuto put the box down carefully inside the trunk. By his side, Sugawara Koushi—the visual of Karasuno and Akaashi’s regular confidant—snickered.

It was weird to see the trunk with things in it— Tooru’s things—knowing that he was taking them with him to the farm this time. He hadn’t been bothered not having anything with him the year he’d been there, but this time, it felt a little different, and so he’d actually gone out of his way to pack a few things. 

He didn’t bother much with clothes or shoes since he wasn’t exactly planning to wear designer brands out in the fields harvesting rice, but he made sure to pack enough suits, nice garments, and ties to get him through whatever trips back to Tokyo and legal meetings he would have to suffer through in the future. His Mami plants were an indispensable possession of his, so those obviously had to come, and of course, Tooru had packed his guitar. He could have just bought a new one, but he was somewhat attached to the one he’d been given by Ukai back in Ibaraki, so he’d decided it needed to come with him. There was also his laptop (for legal and communication purposes), a binder of important papers and documents (also for legal and communication purposes), and a small isolation mic just in case he decided he wanted to make music again. He probably wouldn’t, but it was just in case, because who knew?

He had a few shirts with his name on them because he thought bringing his own merch with him back to the farm was funny, and Bokuto had even made sure to gift him two ACE and Akaashi themed owl stuffed animals which he could have made so much fun of but instead promised to treasure. 

“Is that everything?” Akaashi asked, looking to Bokuto instead of Tooru because Bokuto had been the one bringing all of his stuff down instead of him for some reason.

“Almost,” Bokuto said with a bright smile. “Kuroo’s still upstairs grabbing his facewash and stuff.”

Oh, yeah, and that. Because sue him, Tooru did like his skincare products. 

“This is so weird. Oikawa, I’ve never seen you smile this much,” Tanaka—the loudmouth and main rapper of Karasuno—spoke up, shoving his hands in his pocket and giving Tooru a once over. Sawamura immediately let go of Hinata to smack Tanaka on the back of the head, and Sugawara laughed airily at the display. 

“Tooru,” he corrected almost effortlessly, “and thank you, I did so pride myself on my depressive mindset.”

“Tooru,” Akaashi warned with a look that told him his comment was bordering on rude—like how Tooru had so often spoken back before everything happened. He immediately closed his mouth, turning to Tanaka and reminding himself that the comment was probably just an observation, not a dig. And objectively, Tanaka was right—he’d definitely never seen Tooru smile this much before. 

“Sorry.” He didn’t add anything onto it because honestly, he didn’t really feel sorry. It wasn’t like Tanaka had to point that out or say it like that. 

“Got it!” Kuroo announced as he made his way out of the apartment complex with a small bag of Tooru’s skincare products. He tossed it over to Bokuto who caught it without even looking like he had to try. The bag of products ended up in the trunk with everything else, and then Bokuto was closing it shut. 

“Alright. Eleven hours ahead of us. I’ll take the first driving shift in the city,” Bokuto decided, putting his hands on his hips and puffing his chest out a bit. Tooru couldn’t help but think Bokuto would be a great dad if the industry ever allowed him and Akaashi to adopt kids. “Tooru, you wanna make your rounds?”

“Rounds?” he asked, furrowing his brows and pulling his lips back a bit. “Why do I have to make rounds?” He’d made progress being a nice person to his coworkers, but that didn’t mean he suddenly gave a shit about a majority of them.

Then again, a lot of them had shown up for his departure. The entirety of HQ Entertainment had more or less turned up for his leaving which was crazy because Tooru certainly didn’t care about them enough to do that, so he had no idea why they’d all come to see him off. The only people Tooru would have wanted to see him off were Bokuto, Akaashi, Ukai, and Kenma, and both Bokuto and Akaashi were going with him, so that really only left Ukai and Kenma. 

But no, for some reason everyone and their fucking mother had come. Sawamura was trying to rangle in the more rambunctious members of Karasuno—Hinata, Kageyama, Tanaka, and Nishinoya—which made Tooru almost feel bad for him. The other members of Karasuno—the ones who seemed to know where they stood and chose to just kind of exist— Tsukishima, Yamaguchi, Ennoshita, Kinoshita, Narita, and Asahi—stood off to the side. All except Sugawara, who planted himself right at Akaashi’s side, of course. 

Then there was Nekoma. Kuroo, of course, had helped Bokuto bring the stuff down and had not taken any arguments. Kenma was with the rest of Nekoma—Yaku, Yamamoto, Lev, and Inuoka—off to the side and avoiding eye contact. 

“What, you don’t wanna say goodbye to me?” Kuroo asked with a smirk—the kind of smirk Tooru almost hated as opposed to the one Hajime did, which he loved.

“Keep an eye on these two,” he said instead of dignifying that question with an answer, gesturing to Bokuto and Akaashi. Bokuto looked surprised at his mention, but Akaashi just smiled softly. “They’re important to me, so since I won’t be around to talk them out of stupid shit, that’s your job now.”

Kuroo, seemingly speechless in the absence of any sarcasm or biting remark, simply closed his mouth and nodded. And that was about as good of a goodbye as he was getting. 

… Okay. Right. Rounds. 

He turned to Sugawara first, who looked shocked to even receive his attention. “You too. Keep Kuroo in check and watch over Akaashi, please.”

“Oh… uhm, yeah! You got it,” Sugawara agreed with a quick nod and eyes that made him look like an innocent doe. 

Then, he turned to Nekoma. His eyes, almost traitorously, fell on Yaku first. “Sorry for punching you four years ago,” was the brilliant sentence that came spewing out of his mouth, and if Tooru was shocked, Yaku seemed to be even more shocked. He blinked with wide eyes at Tooru like he’d suddenly grown two heads, but after a moment, he just seemed to nod and accept it. 

“Uhm… thanks. Good luck with…” Yaku looked behind him at Hajime for a moment, “whatever it is you’re doing.”

“Thanks,” Tooru said a bit stiffly. God this was awkward. Was this necessary? 

And then his eyes went to Kenma—one of the few people Tooru wanted to say goodbye to. They hadn’t been friends for a long time, but they were friends now, and that meant saying goodbye was a whole hell of a lot harder than Tooru wished it was.

“Thanks for being my friend, Kenma,” Tooru whispered with a bittersweet smile, meaning every word of what he said.

The sheen of water in Kenma’s eyes was the only warning he got before the smaller man was wrapping his arms around his waist, pressing his face into Tooru’s chest as he hugged him tightly, and of course, Tooru hugged him back.

“I’m really gonna fucking miss you,” Kenma admitted with a slight tremble behind his voice.

 “Stay in touch, alright?” Tooru requested, not expecting that Kenma would, but hoping for it regardless. “Because I’m gonna miss you, too.”

“Please take care of yourself, Tooru,” Kenma requested as he pulled himself back, wiping his tears with the back of his hand. 

Seeing him cry, Tooru immediately felt his own eyes become heavy with the threat of tears, and oh no, they were so not doing that. He cleared his throat awkwardly, turning away from Kenma. 

“Well that was great and all but I’d like to leave without any more awkward goodbyes.”

Several people laughed at that, and as if noticing how overwhelmed he was, Hajime immediately placed a hand on his shoulder to remind him he was there. Hajime’s presence calmed him down significantly, but he had a feeling that if Hajime were to pull away from him, he’d be fucked. 

“Alright, you got it,” Sawamura agreed with a nod. “Everyone say your piece and then we’re rolling out to the dance studio.”

“GOOD LUCK, TOORU!!” Hinata yelled as he jumped, like being higher up would mean he was more likely to be heard or something. 

“Have fun farmin’ ‘n stuff,” Tanaka said with a nod of his head. 

“And don’t forget to stay in touch with Akaashi and Bo,” Sugawara reminded him as he walked past them over to Sawamura’s side, clapping his hand over Tsukishima’s mouth just as he began to open it and turning him away. That was probably for the best, to be honest. Tooru had heard the blonde idol had a bad habit of opening his mouth when he shouldn’t have, and though Tooru was a lot better about it now, he didn’t exactly have a reputation for handling shit like that particularly well. 

Sawamura had never been a man Tooru cared to know anything about, but the fact that he managed to get Karasuno to clear out so quickly gave him a few bonus points in his mind. Kuroo took care of the rest of Nekoma with a quick (and surprisingly taactful) ‘that means us, too’ before gesturing toward their own car as they began to leave with small waves and a few encouraging smiles in Tooru’s direction. Kuroo gave him a half-assed salute before turning around to jog after the rest of them, and with everyone gone, he felt like he could breathe just a bit easier. 

And he did. He took a deep breath to remind himself he could breath and feel that air in his lungs. It was dirty city air, but it was air, and Tooru hadn’t realized how shallowly he’d been breathing with everyone crowding around him like that. Hajime patted his shoulder to assure him he was there for him, and Tooru nodded in return to assure him that he would rely on him if necessary, but Tooru was fairly confident he had himself under control this time. Just one breath after the other and a quick flex of his jaw to relax the muscles and he was already feeling a little bit better. 

“You good?” Ukai finally spoke up, pushing himself away from the wall of the apartment complex building to make his way over. 

“I am overwhelmed and want to leave,” Tooru admitted with hesitation, causing both him and Bokuto to laugh slightly like he was joking. He absolutely was not joking. 

“You performed at a concert yesterday,” Ukai reminded him with a raised brow. 

“Okay? And that’s totally different from being perceived by my coworkers, give me a break,” Tooru countered. 

Ukai smiled a bit at him, half understanding and half just… because. It was crazy to think that Tooru could even look at Ukai and read his expression like that—could see his thoughts written across his features and take the time to understand him rather than just starting yet another senseless fight or meaningless spat. 

Ukai may not have been his father—nor would he ever be—but at the very least, he was someone important to Tooru. And Tooru was just glad that he finally felt important to him as well. 

“I’m gonna miss you,” Ukai admitted, cutting through the silence. 

“Well, at least this time you’ll know where I am,” Tooru comforted with a gentle smile of his own, partially accompanied by a soft shrug and a miniscule tilt of his head. “I’ll keep in touch,” he added as an afterthought. “Not all the time, but… I guess I’ll call every now and then.”

“That’s more than I would have asked for,” Ukai admitted with a sigh that almost sounded relieved as his lips curled back slightly to show his teeth. He opened his arms, and the second he took a step forward, Tooru pulled away from Hajime to fall into them. 

Ukai’s hugs weren’t as nice as Hajime’s—nobody’s was—but they were a reminder that Tooru had more than one person who cared about him, so Tooru relished in it all the same. 

“You call me immediately if anything happens,” Ukai stated, like him being Tooru’s emergency contact was something non-negotiable.

“You’ll see me in just a few weeks, probably,” Tooru reminded him with a meaningless roll of his eyes, like the comment was supposed to somehow deter Ukai from acting like an overprotective parent.

He pulled back, and Ukai let him go while shoving his hands into the pockets of his pants. “You gonna stay with me when you visit?” he asked like he already knew the answer.

“Hell no. Bokuto and Akaashi have the most comfortable couch around,” Tooru stated with a smirk, knowing both of his friends had already agreed to the arrangement beforehand. “But I’ll agree to dinner. Maybe.”

Ukai nodded, dropping his head for only a second before raising his eyes back to Tooru’s. “I think I can work with dinner.”

Tooru wondered, if the version of himself from two years ago could see him now, would he even believe it? Would he gawk at Tooru and the way he so casually fell into Ukai’s arms and offered him smiles, and would he scream at him for offering him something as simple as dinner? Would he hate the version of himself who existed now for not despising the thought? 

But Tooru supposed, in the grand scheme of things, that version of himself and what he would think didn’t really matter. Tooru was happy with himself now just the way he was, and he liked everything just the way it was, promised dinners with Ukai included. 

“See you in a few weeks, Tooru,” Ukai said, ending their goodbye in Tooru’s stead because he was most likely well aware that Tooru had no idea how even if he wanted to. 

“Yeah… see you.”

And with that and a small smile, Tooru grabbed hold of Hajime’s hand, pulling him over to Bokuto’s flashy car. Hajime opened the door for him, and Tooru quickly pressed their lips together in a chaste kiss before ducking down into the back seat. Bokuto took the wheel, Akaashi took shotgun, Hajime slid in beside Tooru, and then they were off.

Tooru watched through the window as the scenery of Tokyo disappeared from his sight, replaced easily by suburbs and emptier roads. 

He had seen the sight a million times before—had traveled away from Tokyo often enough to barely even consider it a home worth returning to. Company vans with blackout windows, his own car during that brief period of time he’d been trusted with his own free will, airplanes and private jets taking him far away from a country he used to wonder if he’d ever feel connected to. Bullet trains racing on tracks he’d stared at wondering whether he had the guts to lay down and die on them. 

It wasn’t his first time leaving Tokyo, and it certainly wouldn’t be his last. He’d be back in just a few weeks to handle the trials and tribulations of uprooting his entire life before leaving all over again, and he’d repeat that process a dozen times more if the investigation Akaashi and Bokuto were handling on his behalf had any say in it. 

But this time— this specific time— Tooru felt like he could take a deep breath as he watched Tokyo disappear far behind him, and for the first time in his entire life, he didn’t feel like he was running away. 

He felt like he could breathe.

---

Tooru nearly started crying when the familiar style of the Mitocho houses came into view—their off-white walls and red tile roofs instantly distinctive from anything else Tooru had ever known. His eyes watered and his chest felt tight, because he knew without even having to ask how close they were that he was almost home. 

The fields, the dry paddies, the greenery despite the cold, the clear sky, the kind villagers dressed in old hand-me-downs and ratty coats—it was all so familiar that Tooru wanted to burst into tears and sob from how happy he felt to be back. 

Bokuto seemed excited too—ooing and ahhing at anything and everything as he took in the sights of the countryside. He rambled on and on from the passenger seat—Akaashi had taken over driving some time ago—about anything and everything he could see, and he asked Hajime about a bajillion questions because he just seemingly had to know everything. “What are those hats for?” “Do you live in a house like that?” “Is that a rice paddy?” “Where’s the rice?” “Do you have paddies like that?” “What plants are those?” “Do you have one of those?” “What’s that?” 

Hajime—the saint—answered every single question with a dopey smile on his face like Bokuto’s curiosity and genuine interest in his life was more than he could have ever asked for. 

And when the house finally came into view, Tooru really felt like he might just start crying anyway. Hajime had to actually reach over and place his hand on Tooru’s thigh to ground him—to remind him to breathe—and still, Tooru choked on his own breath.

His door flung open the second the car came to a stop in the Iwaizumi driveway, and Taro—the fucking dog —was the first one to greet him.

And Tooru—the fucking sap— fell to his knees like the akita was the most precious thing to him in the world and let the dog topple him over in his excitement. He laughed, his back digging into the dirt as Taro wiped his tongue all over his neck and chin, and he ran his hands through Taro’s fur with a vigor that would ensure he smelled like dog fur for the entire rest of the day without even caring. 

“Ohhh what a good boy~” Tooru cooed at the dog, completely unable to help himself. A tear rolled down his cheek, but Taro was quick to erase the evidence as Tooru laughed and pulled him into his chest, burying himself in his fur. 

“Tooru?” he heard another call out, and immediately, Tooru choked on his tears all over again. “TOORU?!” 

Taro jumped back just as Tooru managed to climb to his feet, and not two seconds later he was wrapping his arms around Haruhi as the girl threw herself at him. He held her tightly, swinging her around and burying his face against her shoulder as he heard the commotion of the shoji being flung open and the pattering footsteps of the others rushing over. 

“I can’t- You’re- You actually came back!” Haruhi exclaimed with something halfway between a laugh and a sob as she clung to him, and for a moment, Tooru felt his heart shatter. 

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I left,” he rambled, lowering her feet back down to the ground only to fall to his knees and pull her right back into his arms. “Of course I came back, are you crazy? You’re my family. God, I’m- Fuck,” he rambled as he began to cry, cursing in English out of habit around her and ducking his head into her shoulder while his chest started to wrack with held-back sobs. “I’m so happy to see you. I missed you so much.”

“I- we missed you too,” Haruhi replied with a wet voice, her fingers digging into his skin as she hugged him tightly. 

When he pulled back from her, he wasn’t given even a second to compose himself before being yanked up off the ground by Papa Iwa’s strong grip and pulled into his arms. He held him tightly with an iron grip that made him feel secure and steady, and beside him, Mami piled onto the hug like her intention was to suffocate Tooru—wrapping her arms around him and Papa Iwa at the same time. 

“Good job, Haji,” Granny complimented in a low voice from somewhere behind them as Mami let out a shaky sigh, pulling Tooru out of Papa Iwa’s arms to commandeer him all for herself. Tooru let her, too, because he couldn’t bring himself to refuse her or pretend like he wasn’t just as desperate to fall into her arms.

“You look good,” Mami cried against him, and god, hearing her cry just about did it for him. The tears spilled over his cheeks, and Tooru pulled Mami in tightly like he was afraid that letting go of her would mean losing her forever. 

“I missed you, Mami,” he said through salty, cracked lips—his voice a far cry from steady or complete. “I’m sorry for leaving. I- I thought about you every day. I took good care of your plants, too. I promise.”

Mami laughed at that, but it was choked up and riddled with the effects of her tears. “Of course you did, Tooru. Of course you did.”

“Alright, alright! Let the old woman through!” Granny Iwa demanded, more or less prying the two of them apart so she would pull Tooru in for a hug that was so much stronger than he ever thought the woman was capable of. It felt like if she hugged him any tighter, he bones would shatter and break, and honestly, he would have welcomed it. “You better be back here to stay, young man!”

Tooru choked on a sob as it racked his body, and he nodded as his head fell limp against Granny Iwa’s shoulder. “I am. I promise,” he choked. “Forever and ever. As long as you’ll all have me.”

“That means forever, by the way,” Hajime clarified as he walked around them. “Haruhi, come on, seriously?” he asked in a lightly joking voice from behind him. “I told you I would get him, didn’t I?”

“ You’re the one who had a breakdown about it before leaving at four in the morning!” Haruhi defended, and though Tooru couldn’t see their argument, he could imagine the defensive look on her tear-riddled face, and the image in his mind made him laugh. 

“I love you guys so much,” Tooru mumbled, gently separating himself from Granny Iwa while raising his hand to wipe away some of his tears. And finally— finally— he had the chance to really see his family. Granny Iwa, grinning proudly at him with a self-satisfied aura about her. Mami with tears still floating in her eyes and Papa Iwa with his arm strewn over Mami’s shoulders, watching Tooru with a gentle yet loving expression. Taro running circles around them, occasionally rushing up to Tooru only to run back away from him again to do another lap around Bokuto’s car. Haruhi, her face covered in tears but still with a bright smile on her face. And of course, Hajime. 

Hajime, the man who made it possible for Tooru to feel like he had a family he could be happy to come back to. 

“I’m… really happy to be back.”

“Took you long enough to get here,” Granny Iwa insisted with a scoff that had no effect with the way she was grinning. 

“Good, so never leave again,” Haruhi demanded through her tears, sniffling and making a poor attempt to wipe them away. 

“I’m… I’m sorry for causing so much trouble with… with the reporters and leaving and…” Tooru began, unable to stop the words from tumbling out of his mouth. “And I’m sorry that me coming back means even more trouble for you all. I- it’s not fair, and it’s… a lot. There’s- there’s NDA’s you all need to sign and I’ll need to head back to Tokyo to tie up loose ends for the next few months at least, and people will still come by and bother you guys about me so-”

“Hey, Tooru?” Mami asked, walking up to him and placing her hands on his shoulders to steady him. As if on cue, Tooru reminded himself to breathe. “That’s nothing you need to apologize. You are our family, do you understand? I don’t care what forms we need to sign or how many people come here looking for you. You are just as much part of the Iwaizumi family as my own children are. So don’t go feeling guilty about things that are out of your control again.”

A few more tears slipped down Tooru’s cheeks, and the urge to argue with her and point out all the things that could go wrong tugged at the back of his throat, but Tooru really couldn’t bring himself to do anything other than nod and accept her words. 

“We’re glad to have you here, you got that?” Papa Iwa asked with a stern voice that was betrayed by the gentleness of his eyes as he clapped Tooru on the back of his shoulder, jolting him slightly. “None of this feeling-sorry-for-existing crap.”

“House doesn’t feel the same without you anymore, anyway,” Granny Iwa admitted with a huff, shaking her head. “You think we were just sittin’ around on our asses goin’ about our normal lives with you gone? Hell no!”

“Mom.”

“House felt fucking’ empty and miserable without you here. Kids were miserable, everyone missed you, and we couldn’t get shit done without feeling like something was wrong,” Granny Iwa continued ranting, smacking her lips and shaking her head with finality. “So when you say you’re here to stay, you better mean it this time.”

“I do,” Tooru breathed out with a relieved nod. It wasn’t relief at the fact that the family had missed him to such an extent that they were dragged down by his absence, but the fact that he had been missed to such an extent that his absence made a difference for them. It was a relief to know he was loved. “I’m here to stay, I promise.”

“About that…” Akaashi spoke up, interrupting the family reunion and, honestly, reminding Tooru he was even there. He’s been so swept up in his own relief and happiness that, for a moment, he’d forgotten who brought him back. He’d forgotten about Bokuto and Akaashi and the reason they came and… 

And the notary they were supposed to have meet them there on site. The notary that, suspiciously, wasn’t there.

But Akaashi stood there in front of them now, hands folded professionally in front of himself with not even a hint of a smile on his face, and behind him, Bokuto ducked his own head like he couldn’t bear to raise his eyes and meet anyone’s gaze. 

Tooru, without even knowing why, felt his stomach sink. 

“There’s… something you should all know,” Akaashi continued, his eyes focused on the dirt of the driveway in front of him and his voice steady—each of his words carefully chosen and spoken with intent. “Before leaving, Tooru told us about the abuse he faced in the industry. It’s… not pretty. It’s awful, actually, and the people responsible for hurting him still work for the company—the company Tooru will have to go back and visit several times until his contract is officially broken.”

Tooru felt his throat tightening, unease digging into his chest like a pair of sharpened claws. 

“We’re planning to get the police involved in an official investigation to put those people away, and Tooru agreed to testify in court.”

“That’s… good, right?” Haruhi asked with a soft sniffle. “Those people should be locked up if it’s that bad, right? So-”

“It is,” Akaashi assured her with a quick nod. “But… it creates a small situation.”

“Akaashi…” Tooru began, his voice breaking with uncertainty though he didn’t even know why yet. 

“The public knows your address. They know where Tooru and you all live. Fans, reporters, and interested parties we can divert and handle, but this-”

“You-” Tooru cut him off, his eyes filling with tears all over again as his throat closed up and anger settled in his stomach. He closed his eyes, swallowing to compose himself as the fresh tears dripped down his cheek. “You said you would handle that,” he reminded Akaashi, because that was what Akaashi had said. Tooru asked what the investigation would mean for the family, and Akaashi told him he would handle it. 

“I lied,” Akaashi confessed, and that fucking stung. “Because I knew if I told you the truth, you wouldn’t have agreed to come back. You would have stayed away to protect them.”

And Tooru couldn’t handle it—couldn’t hold in the raw nagging of anger and betrayal and hurt that seemed to appear out of nowhere and swallow him up. “You’re damn right,” he snapped at Akaashi, his voice tainted with bitterness. 

Hajime’s hand fell to his shoulder, but even that couldn’t chase away the nasty emotions that felt like they were tying themselves in knots inside him right now. 

“This investigation is going to affect a lot of people in high positions of power,” Akaashi continued, giving Tooru a single precautionary look. Every word out of his mouth burned Tooru like a hot iron, and Tooru wanted to be so distraught that it consumed his every single thought because at least that would be better than the knots in his stomach that dripped with such potent regret. He wanted to be angry at Akaashi—angry at anyone else just like he always used to be because anything was better than being angry at himself. For not seeing the signs. For not knowing this would happen. Or maybe for knowing… and just pretending he didn’t. 

“Tooru’s confession of the abuse he faced is the key aspect of this investigation, and without his testimony, we can’t bring it to court. So when this goes public, he’s the one those in power will blame for the lawsuits and arrests. There’s a very high chance someone may seek revenge against him for the damages caused,” Akaashi explained, his voice steady and controlled and everything Tooru wasn’t right now. 

“There are… three options.” Akaashi’s voice lowered somewhat, and Tooru didn’t even have to hear the list of options to know he’d hate every single one of them. “Tooru can revoke permission for the investigation, and it will never be started to begin with. Tooru, and possibly all of you, can go into a witness protection program for a period anywhere between two and six years. Or you can relocate to a new, protected address, where your safety and protection can be assured.”

Tooru shook his head immediately, tears streaming down his face. “I’m revoking it,” he decided without even needing to think.

“Tooru…”

“No, I’m revoking it. I’m not- we’re not doing this,” he snapped, taking as deep a breath as his lungs would allow in an attempt to compose himself. “I came back because you and Ukai assured me that it was safe. I stayed away to protect them, and you convinced me that it would be okay for me to come back, so I did. And- and now, what? I’m putting them in even more danger now? No. No, I’m not doing that. I came back, just like you wanted. That is what you wanted right? Because… because otherwise you would have told me this would happen instead of lying to my face.”

“Tooru,” Hajime whispered beside him, his hands gently raking through his hair as Tooru leaned into his side, instantly comforted by his presence, but not comforted enough.

“Delete the video, Akaashi. Erase the evidence. I’m not doing it. I…” Tooru’s throat clogged up, and as his guilt about the whole situation resurfaced, he just pushed it right back down. “I’m  sorry… but I care more about my family. I… I don’t care if that’s selfish, either, because those are my priorities. I’m not tearing them away from their community or hiding away for years in a witness protection program, and I’m not making them leave their family farm because of a goddamn lawsuit. If… if you want Nakazawa gone so bad, find another way to do it. I’m not testifying.”

“Wait, hold on,” Mami interrupted, her brows furrowed as she tried to understand the situation. “How… how many people would this investigation affect?”

Akaashi shrugged. “Tooru gave us a list of over thirty names, but the investigation could make that a lot more.”

“Thi- thirty?” Papa Iwa asked, his jaw dropping open in shock. 

“I’m not doing it,” Tooru repeated, his voice feeling less and less heard with every repetition.

“But if nothing’s done, they’ll just never be caught, right?” Haruhi asked, rushing up to Hajime’s other side and looking toward Akaashi with wide eyes. “Can you investigate without his testimony?”

Akaashi shook his head. “Not really, no. His testimony is the key evidence, and the police can’t launch an investigation without a reasonable suspicion that something’s happening. Tooru’s testimony and account is necessary to start it.”

“Which is why it’s not happening,” Tooru stressed. 

“But you clearly wanted it to, didn’t you?” Hajime asked with an almost unbothered tone, silencing everyone else’s arguments and turning all eyes onto him.

“Ye- yeah,” Tooru admitted with a grimace, “when I thought I’d be the only one affected by it.”

“What, so just because these bigots can fearmonger, they get to get away with everything they’ve done?” Granny Iwa asked with a scoff, shaking her head at the group of them.

“They would have anyway if I never said anything,” Tooru pointed out, but his voice felt small, like he lacked the confidence to speak louder. 

“But you did. You did say something,” Hajime clarified, his grip on Tooru’s shoulder tightening. “Not only that, you were the one that suggested doing something to make a change in the first place, because you thought it was important to make sure other kids didn’t go through what you did.” 

Tooru paused, his heart stuttering in his chest. Because Tooru never told him any of that.

“I’ve already made my decision. I think we should move.”

“Ha- Hajime,” Tooru choked out, his eyes nearly popping out of his head as he spun around to gape at the man. But Hajime stood tall, unwilling to be swayed as he faced the rest of his family.

“This isn’t about Tooru getting revenge on these guys—he’s trying to protect other kids in the industry. Kids even younger than Haruhi. He wanted to make a change to better the lives of other people before he left, and he can’t do that if he doesn’t agree to the investigation just to protect us.”

“When… when did you-?”

“During the concert,” Hajime whispered, turning to him just slightly and giving him a soft, almost apologetic smile. “Akaashi explained it to me while you were on stage.”

Tooru tried to inhale, but with the cloud of heavy thoughts swirling around in his brain, the best he could manage was a weak choke. He shook his head, furrowing his brows with no control as his lips twitched in reaction to possibly every single emotion under the sun. 

Because… because Akaashi had told Hajime? He’d gone behind his back to tell him, knowing Tooru would choose to revoke his permission? He’d intended for this to happen from the start and let him come back anyway? He… he told Hajime ahead of time—warned him and gave him the time to think it over and compose himself? He told Hajime ahead of time, knowing how much it would have hurt Tooru to see his heartbroken expression?

He’d told Hajime… because he knew Tooru would never agree without Hajime’s insistence. 

“I mean… we already talked about moving anyway, didn’t we?” Haruhi suddenly asked. With how fast Tooru spun around to gape at her, he felt like he was reeling from fifty different onsets of whiplash all at the same time. 

“You- what?!”

“Oh… yeah,” Haruhi admitted, also managing to give him an apologetic look like she had anything to apologize for. “Well, we figured when you came back that things would probably be pretty hard, and dad doesn’t feel super safe since so many people know where we live, so we thought one of the conditions of you coming back to us might be us having to move, and we didn’t really come to an agreement on it, but we’ve all been talking about it.”

“But…” Tooru attempted, his voice failing him entirely. “But this is your family farm.”

“Yeah, cuz the family’s here,” Granny Iwa said with a huff and a shake of her head. “The family farm is wherever the family is, and if I’m willing to give up my parent’s land to move and keep us safe, I don’t see why we’re still even here. This family is more important than any land we could ever have, so what’s all this about backing down and catering to some rich assholes just so we don’t have to move? We were probably gonna move anyway! So just do it!”

He… he had to be going crazy. No- not even that. He had to be going beyond crazy. 

“But… but it’s… your- it’s your family’s-”

“Tooru,” Hajime whispered, dragging his attention back to him and giving him such a soft smile that Tooru felt like his heart was shattering and piercing itself back together all over again. “You are more important to us than any farm ever will be. Remember what you told Haruhi that day at Country Fest? You said it was your decision to go out there and do that for her, right? Even though she was crying and begging you not to because of how guilty she felt?” Tooru swallowed, absolutely not a fan of what Hajime was implying right now. “Well, this is our decision. And it’s not your fault or because of you that we’re making it. That’s just what family does for each other.”

Tooru sucked in a deep, unsteady breath. “It’s… it’s not fair to you, though.”

“Who ever said anything about life being fair?” Hajime asked, reaching up and tucking a small tuft of his hair behind his ear. “Yes, Tooru, it’s going to be sad moving away. It’ll suck not seeing my friends every day, and it’ll feel weird for a while living somewhere else. But as long as it’s a farm somewhere within a few hours’ driving distance, I don’t see what’s so unfair about it. It’s just a new place, that’s all. But we’ll all still be there, so that will make it home.”

“Oh! Oh! Can we find a place with a bigger house?!” Haruhi suddenly asked with a boisterous yell as she raced around the two of them to tug on the sleeve of Tooru’s shirt. “I want a big room! Preferably nowhere near you two because I don’t need to know what you two do at night.”

“Ah- Young lady!” Mami scolded, a small, exasperated smile stretched across her face. 

“And we could get more space for greenhouses and- ooohhhh what if we had more space for your flower garden!?” she asked, whipping around to face Mami. 

Mami’s expression melted almost immediately, her hand curling around Haruhi’s head and bringing her into her side. “Well, more room for my flowers would be nice.”

“You… you’d all just… move?” Tooru asked, still unable to grasp that an entire family would do something like that for… for him.

“I’d feel safer,” Papa Iwa confirmed with a nod. “Not only to protect my blood family, but you, too. If you’re staying here, who knows who’ll come looking for you? I’d feel safer with you protected and safe.”

“Oh, what if we had space for a volleyball net?!” Haruhi asked, looking toward Hajime with an excited grin. “We can invite all your friends up so you can all play together, and that way you and Tooru can play together and- ohhhh we have to get a bigger kitchen.”

“You’re getting ahead of yourself, Haruhi,” Papa Iwa scolded with a smile, but Haruhi just laughed with a bright, happy smile. 

“Well hold on now, don’t stop her now. I wouldn’t mind a bigger kitchen,” Granny Iwa cut in, causing the rest of them to laugh like the situation was… funny. Like it was something they could all laugh about because it was that simple for them. 

In his last attempt to stop them from making a decision that, to him, just felt rash and unnecessary, Tooru sniffled and spoke. “I don’t want you to have to move for me.”

“Yeah? Well… I think you’re a bit outnumbered,” Hajime countered with a slight smile, gripping his shoulder tightly and shaking him lightly. “Besides, does it look like moving is a burden to us?”

Tooru looked around, his eyes desperately scanning for signs of this situation being a burden to them… but he couldn’t find anything. They were talking about moving away from their family home, but every single member of the family had a smile on their face and they looked… happy, still. 

“I don’t… get it,” Tooru admitted quietly.

“Why not?” Mami asked with a gentle smile in his direction. “It’s quite simple, actually. You just matter more to us.”

Tooru wanted to argue. He wanted to tell Mami that that was ridiculous, because how could he matter more than the home they’d all grown up in? How could he matter more to such an extent that they would leave their home after only a year of knowing him?

But he… he just couldn’t. He couldn’t find the words, and he couldn’t figure out a single argument to use as his defense. 

Because they said he mattered more than their own home, and at the end of the day, there was just no argument to be made against something as meaningful as that. 

“... Okay,” he agreed, his own voice cracking through his surrender. He turned to look at Akaashi, and already, both him and Bokuto were smiling warmly at him like they’d suspected all along that this would happen. “You win. I’ll… I’ll testify.”

Akaashi ducked his head for a moment, but when he picked it back up, he was smiling so genuinely at Tooru that Tooru remembered how much Akaashi cared for him, and a twinge of regret for ever pointing his anger at him surfaced. 

“Bokuto and I will handle everything. Absolutely nothing will be made public until you and the family are safely relocated, and the only people who will know your location will be the two of us.”

“Oh please, please, please find us someplace cool!” Haruhi begged, rushing up to Akaashi who just smiled down at her. 

“What? It’s your new home—you should all be the ones looking for it,” he insisted, his eyes flickering around the group before settling on Tooru again. “You gonna tell them the limitations or should I?”

“Limitations?” Mami asked, her brows furrowed and turned toward Tooru who could only purse his lips and avert his eyes. 

“I’m uh… well. Just… whatever you guys want. If… if we’re moving, pick whatever house—whatever property you want.”

“Well, obviously we’ll have to be reasonable-”

“Money isn’t an issue,” Tooru interrupted, watching as realization washed over Mami’s face. “So… seriously. If- if we’re all moving, pick your dream house. Dream farm. Wherever and whatever you want. And I mean it. Whatever you want.”

“Tooru, we-”

“It’s my decision,” he repeated with a shrug, earning a light shove from Hajime. “What?” he asked, pinning him with a look. “You’re all deciding to move to keep me safe even though it’s my fault you all have to move in the first place and I’m not supposed to let you guys pick anything you want? Come on, be realistic. I’m a trillionaire. If you guys are gonna be all dramatic about moving, at least pick somewhere you want to live. In fact, from now on, don’t ever worry about money for anything ever again. I forbid it. Your jobs are just to live comfortably doing what you want and being happy.”

“... So does that mean we can get horses?”

“Haruhi.”

“Tooru, can we get horses?”

Tooru—to his own surprise—actually snorted at that, leaning into Hajime’s side with a sore chest and a light smile on his face. “Mami, you want horses?”

“Wha-? You can’t be serious.”

Tooru shook his head, his teeth lightly biting his bottom lip to prevent his smile from growing too wide. “I am very serious. If you want horses, we can get horses.”

“Mami, we need horses.”

“We absolutely do not.”

Haruhi turned to look at Tooru, looking at him with such intensity that he couldn’t help but just feel… light. Like despite… well—fucking everything— that they would still be okay. Somehow, the world hadn’t ended yet, and the situation he thought would destroy him all over again turned out to just be… not that big of a deal, apparently. 

“Well…” Granny Iwa began, her eyes flickering between Haruhi, Mami, and Tooru. “I wouldn’t mind a horse or two.”

“Mom.”

“See? Gran Gran gets it.”

“We do not need horses.”

“Right. But this isn’t necessarily about needs anymore it’s about life fulfillment.”

“We are not getting horses.”

---

Six Months Later

“Isn’t she gorgeous?” Tooru asked, holding up his phone so Akaashi could see his beautiful brown mare. He’d braided her white hair and decorated her with flowers earlier because she seemed to like the extra attention, and Tooru was more than happy to provide it. 

When he held up the camera, the horse turned her head away, and Tooru laughed as he shifted to get her back in the video. “Hoshizora, hey girl, come on. Give Akaashi a big ole smile,” he urged, only for Hoshizora to knock her head into Tooru’s side, nudging him away. Tooru laughed, dropping it and giving her space. “She’s being stubborn. Wait till Hajime gets back and she’ll be all cooperative cuz she likes him,” he complained, turning over his shoulder to grin at the horse who just huffed at him in response. “Yeah? Well get in line, cuz I like him, too.”

From the other end of the video call, Akaashi laughed lightly, shaking his head at the camera. He was dressed in a suit—clearly having just come from an important meeting of some kind judging off the looseness of his tie. In comparison, Tooru was dressed in light wash overalls with a yellow t-shirt. 

“Where’s Hajime?”

“Oh, he’s out taking Haruto for a ride. I was gonna take Hoshizora out with him, but she was being stubborn and Haruto was being a restless little bitch,” Tooru rambled, aimlessly wandering over to the other pen where Haruhi’s little white filly, Mouse, was standing, staring at him. He pointed at Mouse accusingly. “Don’t tell Haruto I said that.”

“I didn’t think you were going to convince him to get one,” Akaashi said with yet another shake of his head.

Tooru just tsked at him, jumping up on a stray haybale and making himself comfortable there while holding up his phone to get a better view of his face and his grown out hair. “Nah, I told you. He was all ‘I don’t need a horse’ and ‘you can do whatever you want but I’m not a horse person’ but he rode Haruto once and caved just like we allll knew he would. He’s such a sap. You know I caught him serenading the damn animal the other night? Singing an acoustic version of your song no less. God, I’m in love with him.” He shook his head, focusing his attention back on the call. “Sorry. Hi. How was your meeting?”

Akaashi smiled at him, unbothered by his rambling after the many calls they’d had over the past several months following the same routine. “Boring and stifling, but important. I won’t lie, though, nothing sounds better than laying in bed with my husband right now.”

“Sappy,” Tooru commented with a grin, kicking his feet back and forth while Hoshizora shook her head at him from across the stable. Tooru just shook his head right back, scrunching up his nose at her. “But fair. Did you know Bo texted me a pic from your wedding like… yesterday? Just because he was so lovesick… like I wasn’t there to see you get married or something? God, he’s unbearable. You’re both unbearable. Has that honeymoon phase run its course yet?”

“You know, Kenma tells me it seems like we’re eternally trapped in the honeymoon phase,” Akaashi said, causing Tooru to fake gag at him. “Oh, like you and Hajime have room to talk.”

“Uh, that’s different because we just adopted horses together,” he insisted, eliciting another smile and a soft shake of Akaashi’s head. “We finished decorating our room. I swear, Kaashi, he is such a sap it’s actually painful. He framed the picture of all of us from your wedding and hung it up in our room! Like, sorry, who’s room is this supposed to be again?”

Akaashi laughed at that, and Tooru laughed with him as the sounds of horse hooves beating against the ground echoed in the distance. And—like a fucking sap—Tooru grinned and let his heart skip a beat at the knowledge that Hajime was almost back. 

“Ah, I see the sap’s home,” Akaashi commented knowingly. 

“Shaddup,” Tooru replied with a grin as Haruto—the midnight black steed Hajime had gone to such lengths insisting he wouldn’t fall in love with—rolled into the stable with Hajime saddled on his back. Behind them, Taro came rushing in at full speed—winded and panting from the exertion of keeping up, though that was absolutely nobody’s fault but his own. The dog immediately collapsed on the ground heaving while Haruto pranced in proud circles, shaking his head and huffing at Tooru with a noise of approval. 

And as if on cue, Hoshizora suddenly perked up and neighed. 

“She’s such a traitor,” Tooru called out, kicking his feet and letting his heels bounce off the hay bale as Hajime dismounted. Tooru watched like a pervert—unashamed. Well, at least, he did until Akaashi coughed to remind him he was there. 

“What? He’s hot,” Tooru defended shamelessly. “Anyway, how long until the preliminary investigation is done?”

“It might still be a while, but we’re getting closer, I think,” Akaashi answered with a shrug. “I don’t know—something keeps nagging me about the whole thing with Kenma. I want to hold off until we have more information.”

Tooru nodded, pursing his lips. “No, yeah, I agree. But is anyone else pushing for it? Like the prosecutor or whatever?”

“I hear it brought up every now and then, but I can work with it.”

Tooru hummed, kicking his feet again. “Speaking of our timeline, Ukai keeps calling to ask when he can visit and I have to keep telling him to mind his own business. Do you think he’s gonna freak when he finds out you and Bo moved us all without anyone knowing?”

“Oh, most definitely,” Akaashi said with a nod, fiddling with something off camera for a second. “Kou and I will handle that, though. Besides, he has to understand we were just taking precautions. Utsuishimo is safer for all of you in the long run, especially with the shit we’re about to start.”

“That Akaashi?” Hajime asked as he worked on taking Haruto’s saddle off. Tooru looked up from his phone at Hajime—buffer than he was six months ago, slightly tanner, a little bit of light stubble on his chin now, and still undeniably hot. He nodded, focusing back on the call. 

“Well, keep me updated. And to be clear, if you were calling to get my green light, it’s all yours. We still have a few more farming things to unpack that will honestly probably wait till we get around to it, but other than that, we’re all settled in here,” he assured him, throwing in a genuine smile for good measure. 

The move had been a bit more stressful than anticipated due to the secrecy involved, but they made it work. They were only an hour drive from the Mitocho area, but none of their old friends were allowed to know where they’d moved to. Still, they went down regularly to visit and play volleyball. Haruhi had taken a few weeks to adjust to her new school, but she’d already made plenty of friends and seemed pretty happy with the place. 

The house was bigger than their old one, the land was more expansive, the horses were new, and everyone was still adjusting. But they were making it work, and so far, Utsuishimo was pretty damn nice. 

“Alright. But remember, once this starts, you can’t leave the property for at least three months,” Akaashi warned him, and yes, Tooru knew. That had been part of the deal with the move. Since it wasn’t officially witness protection, Tooru was required (according to the documents Akaashi had gone as far as to make him sign) to treat the situation with some level of caution. Once the investigation shifted from investigating to taking action—basically from the moment Akaashi dropped that video they recorded a year ago—he had to hunker down and stay hidden. Good thing their new property was plenty big enough to give him space to breathe without feeling confined. 

“Yes, yes, I know,” he assured him with a nod. 

Hajime, finally done undressing Haruto and letting him wander the stable to socialize with Hoshizora and Mouse, made his way over to Tooru, climbing up on the hay bale and leaning into his side immediately. 

“Hey, Akaashi.”

“Hello, Hajime,” Akaashi greeted with a wave. “We’re making progress with the case. Shouldn’t be too long before we start making arrests now.”

“I heard,” Hajime confirmed with a nod. “Don’t worry, I’ll keep Tooru safe.”

“Ah, my hero,” Tooru commented with a deadpan expression, causing Hajime to snicker a bit. “Hey, tell Bokuto I said the new song he sent me sucks.”

Akaashi rolled his eyes. “I’m not telling him that.”

“It’s true, though,” Tooru insisted with a laugh.

Hajime just shook his head, wrapping his arm around Tooru’s shoulders. “He’s a liar. Tooru played it for Hoshizora and kept-”

“AAHHHH what are you talking about?!” Tooru asked, cutting Hajime off by just outright yelling while Hajime nearly toppled over laughing. Mouse flinched at his yell, but Haruto and Hoshizora seemed unbothered and used to his shit already. “I did not!”

“ Yes you did!” Hajime retorted with a laugh. “You think I didn’t hear that?”

“And you had the audacity to make fun of Hajime for playing the guitar for the horses,” Akaashi mumbled with an accusatory look.

“Okay, this is so not about me,” Tooru defended, causing both of them to laugh. “ Anyway, whatever. Yes, I’ll be good and Bo’s song is okay. Have fun with your concert later this week, let me know how it goes.”

“Of course, of course,” Akaashi agreed with a nod and a quick wave. “Have a good rest of your night, you two.”

“Bye-bye~!”

Akaashi was the one to hang up, and Tooru immediately sagged against Hajime. Like habit, Hajime’s hands immediately found their way to his hair, running through the grown out strands. 

“Not worried?” Hajime asked, brushing the hair back from his forehead.

“Nope,” Tooru replied, popping the ‘p’. “Akaashi’s got everything handled, and they can’t find us here even if they want to. Plus, I have you, so what could possibly go wrong?”

Hajime smiled sweetly at that, leaning in to kiss his lips softly. And really, it didn’t matter how much time Tooru spent with Hajime or how many times he kissed him—he melted into him every single time like it was his first time being kissed all over again. 

“I give it a month before you go stir crazy,” Hajime bet with that gorgeous smirk, his lips still hovering over Tooru’s. He wasn’t even looking at Hajime at this point—his eyes still closed so he could truly appreciate the feeling of Hajime’s kiss. He could just tell he was smirking at this point.

Tooru sighed, leaning forward to press their lips together softly one more time. “Well, good thing you’ll be here to suffer through it with me the whole time then.”

Tooru pulled back, but of course, with Hajime, it was never just one more. He grabbed Tooru by the waist, pulling him forward and back to his lips—right where he belonged. When they parted, Tooru couldn’t help but smile, falling into him all over again. Over and over and over again. 

“Wouldn’t have it any other way.”

---

BREAKING NEWS: Nekoma Disbands Following Conclusion of Criminal Trial Involving Former Member Kozume Kenma