Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

The fireplace crackled merrily in the dark of the common room, the only other light coming from a single wall sconce next to the couch. Hermione Granger watched the dancing flames, mind drifting to a head of sandy brown curls, a set of eyes so blue they rivaled her favorite summer skies, a roguish grin with a set of dimples that softened the mischief, turning the face more boyish.

Her roommate. The Hogwarts Head Boy. An unexpectedly kind Slytherin.

The object of all of Hermione’s recent desires.

Theodore Nott was proving to be a thorn in Hermione’s side.

When she’d come back to Hogwarts to finish her schooling and take her N.E.W.T.s after the war, she’d never imagined the way he would weasel himself into her life and, unfortunately, her heart.

Their correspondence began in July, when she’d received the letter from Headmistress McGonagal inviting her to come back as Head Girl if she desired. Hermione had been living at The Burrow, bunking with Ginny and dodging a hopeful Ron’s advances. She’d felt stuck, unwilling to go to work for the Ministry of Magic but unsure of what else she wanted to do. Her depression at her inability to locate her parents and attempt to reverse her memory modification spell was heavy, and she feared she would never fight her way out of it.

The letter had given her a purpose. It had made her feel competent, appreciated, and dependable. It had, most importantly, given her the gift of time. Time to spend on herself and her studies, time to try new things before diving into a career, time to enjoy the last year of her teens.

She’d immediately written back with her acceptance, and the band around her chest had loosened.

George Weasley had offered her a job as a cashier in his store, knowing she would need money to purchase her school supplies and save for Hogsmeade trips. Getting out of the house and into a routine in the following weeks had done wonders for her mental health. When the letter arrived at the end of the month, she’d been hesitantly curious.

‘Granger,

I’m writing to inform you that Headmistress McGonagal has offered me the chance to be Head Boy this upcoming term.

I haven’t accepted yet.

I wanted to, first and foremost, apologize for any tumultuous interactions we’ve had in the past. I can think of several instances where I, while indirectly, was responsible for bullying both you and your friends. I cannot express how much I regret it. I can make excuses for my upbringing and the pressure I felt to fit in, lest my differences become known to my father, but they’re merely excuses nonetheless.

I wanted to apologize for my father’s actions against you and your friends, as well. I feel shame every time I think about it.

Next, I wanted to assure you I am not, nor have I ever been, a believer in blood purity. I could spend hours delving into my childhood as a member of the Sacred 28, but you’re not my mind healer, and I won’t burden you with the specifics. I just want you to know that I see you only as what you are- a brilliant student and witch, a fiercely loyal friend, a compassionate person, and a beacon of hope to the Wizarding World after the year we’ve just had.

I would love to join you as co-Head Students this year. I think we have the potential to be a great team.

I understand, though, that my presence may not be welcome in your life at this time. I understand that you’re coming back looking forward to a year of peace, too. And if my being Head Boy will in any way jeopardize that for you, I don’t want the position.

You don’t have to respond to this if my letter is unwanted or unwelcome. A letter to McGonagall will do.

Sincerely,

Theo Nott’

Hermione had vaguely remembered Nott- he’d always been the most quiet of the Slytherin bunch from her year.

He was tall and skinny, all lanky limbs and a mop of curls. He’d never said a word to her. She’d only noticed him when Malfoy or Parkinson were hurling insults at her and her friends. He’d not taken part in anything but had been a silent bystander, and she knew he was a friend to Malfoy.

He hadn’t been a death eater, and he hadn’t fought against her in the War. His father, though…

She had a brief flashback to a pair of cold blue eyes peering at her through a silver mask as a set of strong arms held Harry back from fleeing the Department of Mysteries. She’d stunned him and grabbed Harry’s hand, sprinting, spells flying all around her…

She closed her eyes and breathed deeply in through her nose, out through her mouth. She focused on identifying five things she could see, four things she could touch, three things she could hear, two things she could smell, and one thing she could taste. The grounding exercise had done wonders for her anxious flashbacks, keeping her in the present and reminding her she was safe now.

She read the letter again, looking at her past interactions with the Slytherin in a new light.

She’d spent ages reliving her childhood with Draco Malfoy in the weeks leading up to his trial after the Battle of Hogwarts. She and Harry had decided to write to the Wizengamot on his behalf, having seen his living conditions at Malfoy Manor and the fear in his eyes as he’d tried to take a small stand by not identifying Harry when they’d been captured. They’d all been children, they’d agreed, and while he had a history of being a bigot and a spoiled brat, he was not really a Death Eater.

They’d spoken at length of what his childhood must have been like with Lucius Malfoy as a father. And Hermione had heard rumors that Theodore Nott Sr. was much worse than the Malfoy patriarch.

She could feel the somber guilt, the melancholic angst through his writing. She’d decided then and there to start fresh with him- he’d just lived through a war, too, after all.

‘Nott,

Thank you for your letter. I appreciate the sentiment. I would like to have a fresh start of sorts this year.

Please, call me Hermione.

I look forward to working with you as co-Head Students.’

Her letter had started a back and forth between them, Theo as eager as she was to start planning for their Eighth Year.

By the time they’d shaken hands on the Hogwarts Express, she considered him a friend.

Now, six months later, after spending the Christmas hols away from him, she realized she considered him much more than that.

He was second only to her in grades, and he made an excellent study partner. He was sarcastic and mischievous, and his witty sense of humor kept her constantly on her toes. He was an avid reader and also brought a book to quidditch matches, though lately their books had gone unread while they sat together in the stands, chatting and laughing and drinking hot chocolate. He was a considerate roommate, keeping their common spaces tidy and never complaining about how long she stayed in the bath in the evenings. He’d inherited all of his father’s money after Nott Sr. went to Azkaban, and he refused to use it on himself beyond school. He did, however, use it to keep her favorite snacks and teas stocked in their pantry.

She’d recently started noticing how handsome he was, too. It was really unfair how someone could have the brains, humor, and looks that he did.

She was bloody gone for him.

And she couldn’t do a thing about it, because he was her best friend and roommate.

To disrupt what they had now could mean ruining everything.

***

The cool bright light of early morning woke her before her alarm did.

She cast a tempus. It was too early for a Sunday, but she knew her brain- once it was awake, it was awake.

She rolled out of bed and quickly stuffed her feet into her house shoes- the stone floors were freezing.

She tiptoed to the shower, taking pains to close the door and start the water quietly. She started to plan for the day while she waited for the water to reach the right temperature.

She would have an early breakfast and hit the library before her Prefects meeting at ten. That would end in time for an early lunch and some Ancient Runes revisions for the afternoon, getting her a bit ahead of schedule for that N.E.W.T., at least.

Hermione was sitting for seven N.E.W.T.s this year, and, if successful in getting all Os, she would match a record held only by a handful of witches and wizards, and none of them since Albus Dumbledore.

As she carefully charmed her curls dry using a spell she’d come across in a Witch Weekly curl maintenance article, her mind was on the upcoming exams. The new term would start on Monday, and she would only have five months to prepare. She’d had a relaxing time at The Burrow despite having to have an incredibly awkward discussion with Ron, and all of the stress she’d been able to avoid was back.

When she finished styling her hair, she reached for her stack of clothes…only to realize her clothes were still on the foot of her bed.

She cursed under her breath as she tied her thin robe. She would have to hope Theo was sleeping and move quickly.

She opened the door and yelped.

“Theo!” she exclaimed, holding the thin material closed at her chest. “You scared me.”

He gave her his infamous roguish grin.

“Good morning to you, too, Hermione, love.”

His eyes moved up and down her body before he quickly fixed his gaze above her head.

“Erm, I’ll just-”

“Sorry, I-”

They shuffled around each other in the doorway, trying not to touch. Hermione’s face was hot, her heart pounding so hard she could hear her pulse.

“Kill me,” she murmured under her breath as she started scurrying down the hall like a frightened mouse.

“Erm, Hermione, wait-”

“What?”

“You, ah, dropped something…”

She turned, somehow blushing even more, and her heart sank when she spotted the knickers on the floor by the bathroom door.

They were bright red with festive Christmas trees on them.

She’d gotten them as a gag gift from Ginny over the break and loved them. Now, she wanted to burn them where they sat, mocking her, in front of Theo’s feet.

She summoned them and stormed into her room, slamming the door behind her and letting out a stream of curses.

She was going to die.

She quickly dressed in the denims and Gryffindor sweatshirt she’d left on the bed. She stuffed her feet into her favorite boots and summoned her book bag as she hurried for the door.

Her face was still burning as she climbed down to the second level of the West Tower, then followed the corridor to the first of several staircases that would bring Hermione to the ground level.

While she valued the quiet and privacy of the Head Dorms, she had a long walk to get to the Great Hall.

The walk gave her enough time to stop blushing like an idiot, and by the time she took a seat at Gryffindor Table, she felt confident that her appearance was normal.

There were only a few students in the Hall this early, and none of them from Gryffindor. Headmistress McGonagall and Professor Flitwick were the only staff at eating breakfast this early. Hermione wished Ginny were here- she could use the distraction from the mortifying events of this morning.

She looked up at the enchanted ceiling to gauge the morning’s weather. The sky appeared pale and overcast, and Hermione wondered if they would get snow.

She’d always loved the quiet stillness of the earth after a good snow. Now that she could cast a strong warming charm, she loved the snow even more. She considered changing her plans to study outside after the Prefects meeting as she ate her breakfast.

She lingered over a second cup of tea, needing the comfort from the warm milky drink.

On her way up the grand staircase to the third floor, Hermione’s luck had her nearly running into Theo.

He grabbed her arms to steady her and let out a little laugh. “What’s the rush, Hermione, love?”

Hermione, love. He’d been calling her that stupid name since Halloween, and it made her heart flutter every time.

She felt her cheeks flush as she recalled how naked she’d felt in front of him this morning. She’d been covered in the thinnest of material, the vee exposing a hint of cleavage that seemed a lot more immodest than it actually was paired with her lack of underclothes.

“I’m on my way to the library. I want to read ahead for coursework so I can start revising for Ancient Runes this afternoon,” she explained.

He smiled, still holding onto her arms. “This is why you’re still ahead of me in all our classes.”

She smiled back, awkwardness from this morning dissolving into nothing as she stood with him. He smelled so good up close, like spearmint and earl grey tea. He’d likely had a cup already. He was prone to drink it all day.

“Alright, I’ll leave you to it. Let’s meet at a quarter till to go over notes before the meeting, yeah?”

“I’ll be there.”

They went their separate ways, and Hermione felt the ghost of his hands on her upper arms all the way to the library.

***

Hermione’s wand buzzed beside her, startling her from a deep dive into this term’s Transfiguration course. She’d, predictably, read well beyond where she planned and was now running late to her pre-meeting meeting with Theo.

She shoved her books in her bag, wincing at her rough treatment of them, and started jogging through the stacks. She slowed down to a brisk walk as she passed Madame Pince’s desk, not willing to risk the librarian’s scolding, but picked up the pace again once she was in the hall.

Luckily, the stairs behaved as she hurried upstairs to the fourth floor. She arrived at the empty study room right on time, breathing heavily as she skidded to a stop in the doorway.

Theo was already inside, seat a desk with a book in hand. She waved her wand to arrange the rest of the desks in a circle formation and took the seat next to him.

“Did you run here?” he asked knowingly.

“I was very into the chapter on animagus transformation,” she explained. “My ten minute timer interrupted me.”

He shook his head. “Damn that timer.”

She laughed. “I’m glad you appreciate my strife. Now, let’s see your notes for this term’s goals.”

They traded parchment, and she read the outline he’d prepared in his neat cursive. Her own half print, half cursive scrawl was dreadful in comparison.

“I like the idea of a unity event. What were your thoughts?” she asked.

“I’m actually leaning more toward several small events. We could start with a Valentine’s Day social and do something for the start of Spring, then Easter, then a pre-exams breakfast.”

“That’s brilliant. Let’s put that on the agenda for today.”

“Thanks, Hermione, love. Have you put together the patrol schedule for this term?”

“Yes, here.”

He scanned it. “Looks good to me. I’m glad you split up Wiggins and Clarke- they were snogging on duty last term.”

She laughed. “Sixth years. They’re always so…”

“Randy?”

“Exactly.”

She’d been a hormone-fueled wreck in sixth year, and Ron’s relationship with Lavender had driven her nearly insane. By the time the pair had split, she had no feelings leftover for her friend. Unfortunately, he’d realized some for her. She’d thought she could force herself to return to that romantic haze, but when he’d abandoned her and Harry during their Horcrux hunt, any feelings she’d been able to scrounge up were long gone.

“How did it go with Weasley over the break?” Theo asked, as if he’d been reading her mind.

She let out a sigh. “He tried to get me under the mistletoe on Christmas.”

Theo frowned. “He did, eh?”

She nodded. “I brushed it off, but on Boxing Day he woke up early and we had some time away from the rest of the siblings and Harry, so I had to set him straight.”

Theo’s frown lifted into a little smirk. “How’d he take it?”

“Why are you smirking right now?” she demanded. “I had to hurt his feelings!”

He scoffed. “Hermione, he’s hardly heartbroken. You said he’s been dating around the Ministry like crazy. He’s been keeping you as his backup for when he’s done chasing skirts.”

She sighed. “He’s allowed to date, Theo. He’s made it through a war. He’s been doing what he can to feel alive.”

“I’m not saying that. I’m saying he doesn’t get to make you feel bad for turning him down when he’s the one who’s been seeing other witches.”

She nodded. “I know. I don’t feel bad for turning him down. I feel bad that I had to hurt his feelings to do so.”

He shook his head. “You are too nice.”

She rolled her eyes. “I’ve never been accused of being too nice. Need I remind you about the jar incident from Fourth Year?”

He laughed. “No, trust me, I haven’t forgotten. You’re delightful when you’re displaying vengeful tendencies.”

“You should have seen her hit Ron with the avis charm in Sixth Year.”

Hermione spun around to see Ginny leaning in the doorway.

“Ginny!” she exclaimed.

The redhead hugged her and pressed a kiss to her cheek. “Hello, Hermione. I missed you.”

“You two saw each other all break,” Theo complained. “Let me have her, Ginny.”

Ginny rolled her eyes. “You two live together, for Merlin’s sake.”

“Not that I’m not enjoying being fought over,” Hermione hedged, “But let’s put a pin in it. We’re starting in five.”

The classroom filled up, and Hermione and Theo led the meeting. The Prefects were excited for the unity events, and no one voiced complaints about the patrolling schedule, though she saw Clarke and Wiggins eyeing each other sadly.

“Any volunteers to start on the Valentine’s Day social?” Hermione asked.

Ginny’s hand shot in the air. Hermione grinned and wrote her name on the chalkboard, along with Sarah Wiggins and Amelie Vaughn.

“I trust you three to come up with a theme, location, date, and time by the end of the week?”

“Yes ma’am,” Ginny responded. “We’ll get right on it. Us single ladies are looking for some romance.”

The group laughed, and Hermione rolled her eyes. “Whatever you say, Gin. Does anyone have any questions about this week’s schedule?”

There were none. Hermione dismissed the Prefects with a wave.

“Good meeting,” Theo declared as the last of the group left.

“I agree.”

“Headed to lunch?” Theo asked.

Hermione nodded. “I had such an early breakfast, I’m starving.”

He grinned. “Yes, you were rather in a hurry this morning. I didn’t get to ask about the Christmas-”

She slapped a hand over his mouth, cheeks flaming. “Don’t you dare bring it up,” she hissed.

His blue eyes were bright and positively gleeful. She removed her hand, feeling the ghost of his lips against her palm.

“I was only going to ask about the holidays,” he protested.

She shook her head. “Nice save, but I know you, Theodore.”

“Full named? Ouch.”

He followed her into the hallway, casting a featherlight charm on her bookbag for her. She’d been struggling under its weight and could never seem to remember to cast the charm herself.

They walked downstairs, skipping a vanishing step in unison. They stopped when they came to the entrance to the Great Hall.

“Come get me before you disappear into the library again? I want to revise with you for Ancient Runes.”

“Alright,” she agreed. “If there’s snow on the ground, I want to revise outside.”

“Only if you cast a warming charm for me. I’m not too proud to admit yours is more powerful.”

She grinned. “Alright, Theo. I’ll keep you warm.”

His mouth pulled up into a sly grin. “I wish.”

The playful flirtatious banter between them was nothing new, but the butterflies in her stomach were. She watched him go with what she knew were dopey, lovestruck eyes.

“Get it together,” she muttered under her breath, striding determinedly to her usual seat.

But her eyes found him again as she loaded up her plate, damn them.

Chapter Text

“We are working on human transfiguration this month, as you should know from the syllabus at the start of the year.”

Professor Hestia Jones was kind and shrewd, characteristics that had helped make her an incredible professor.

Professor McGonagall had taught Transfiguration for ages, and Hermione had been skeptical of taking the class with a different instructor. Professor Jones had jumped into the role with enthusiasm and had impressed everyone with her natural affinity for teaching.

The young, black haired professor waved her wand at a trunk next to her desk and levitated several mirrors out to the class. Hermione stared at her reflection as she listened to instructions.

“We’ll start with the hair,” she announced. “I want each of you to leave with a completely different hairstyle. No charms,” she clarified. “We’re going to change the texture and appearance of the hair itself, not charm it to appear different.”

She demonstrated by lengthening her own hair and twisting her wand so that the straight locks tightened up into corkscrew curls. She continued casting until she was a long, curly haired redhead.

The class started chatting eagerly as she left them to their own devices, leaning against her desk to observe.

“What are you thinking?” Ginny asked.

“I’m thinking I’ll finally try out some highlights,” Hermione joked.

Ginny grinned. “And I’ll go blonde.”

She studied her reflection as she started shortening her hair. She watched as her deep brown curls shrunk until half of her head was cropped. She got to work on the other half, cursing the volume of her hair. Her arm was aching by the time she achieved a pixie cut.

She performed a twisting motion, opposite what Professor Jones had demonstrated, to unwind her curls. She watched, mesmerized, as she turned into a completely different looking person. She managed to change the color to a coppery red and stopped, satisfied at the change.

“Well done, Miss Granger,” Professor Jones declared. "Ten points to Gryffindor for excellent work."

Hermione grinned and looked around at her classmates.

Ginny’s hair was pink, rather than the blonde she’d been going for. She continued to try and lighten it further, a frown on her face as she tried to envision it clearly in her mind. Luna Lovegood had managed to make her pin straight hair quite curly, and was currently attempting to darken it. She bit her lip to keep from laughing at Theo, who was now sporting bright red hair that he’d straightened and was lengthening past his shoulders. He caught her eye and winked, and she mouthed ‘pretty’ at him. He put a hand over his heart and fluttered his lashes.

“Go ahead and set yourself back to rights,” Professor Jones instructed her. “If we run out of time, I’ll fix you.”

“I don’t know, Hermione, the short hair rather suits you. You’ve got great bone structure.”

Hermione grinned. “You’re almost blonde, Gin, keep it up.”

She focused on her reflection and started casting again, slowly lengthening her hair back to its spot at the top of her ribs.

Before class ended she managed to turn it back to its natural color, but she hadn’t managed to coax her curls back. She joined the line of students waiting to be set to rights.

“Never straighten your hair,” Theo told her somberly.

She cocked an eyebrow at him.

“You don’t look like yourself,” he added. “It’s weird.”

“I think it’s rather fashionable this way,” she argued. “Very posh.”

He shook his head. “I prefer it wild.”

Her heart went absolutely mad in her chest.

Before she could respond, Professor Jones called his name, and she fixed the color of his still red hair. She fixed Hermione’s next, and reminded her that she had only ten minutes to get to Defense Against the Dark Arts.

“Let’s hurry,” Theo urged, taking off for the hallway. “If we’re late, Professor Weasley will embarrass us again.”

The last time the duo had been late after a Transfiguration gone wrong, Bill Weasley had raised an eyebrow at them and reminded them that the Head Girl and Boy should be held to a higher standard than the rest of the class, and hadn’t the rest of the class managed to show up on time?

While Hermione was thrilled to see the oldest Weasley more often, he did not go easy on her. She appreciated it, until she was running late to his class.

She managed to take her seat with thirty seconds to spare, thoughts of Theo gone as she fought to catch her breath. She stashed her book bag under her desk.

“Good morning,” Charlie greeted them. “Today, we’ll cover the basics of spell weaving to strengthen shield charms. Can anyone tell me the theory behind spell weaving?”

She and Theo raised their hands simultaneously, looking at each other then back at their Professor. He chuckled. “Nott, go ahead. I chose Granger last class.”

Theo launched into a theoretical discussion on spell weaving, and Hermione found herself with even more butterflies than after his comment about her hair.

***

“Lovestruck.”

“Pardon?” Hermione asked, sipping her water with a raised brow.

Ginny took the seat next to her at the dinner table, a wide smile on her face.”

“The Valentine’s Day social. The theme is ‘lovestruck.’ Cupid and his arrow. Hearts everywhere.”

“Okay,” Hermione agreed. “The location?”

“First through third years can gather in the Great Hall, and our youngest prefects will decorate for them. Hagrid and Professor Sprout agreed to chaperone. Fourth through Sixth will be in the study hall on the fourth floor. The sixth year prefects have offered to decorate. Bill and Professor Sinistra will chaperone them. Seventh and Eighths will be in the Room of Requirement, decorated by myself, of course, as well as Sarah and Amelie. Professor Flitwick and Professor Trelawney will chaperone.”

“That sounds lovely, Ginny. I will give you free reign.”

Ginny beamed. “You’re only saying that because I’ll have professor supervision.”

“Of course I am,” Hermione agreed.

They laughed, and Ginny added a chicken leg and rice to her plate. “I was thinking of asking a date.”

Harry and Ginny had decided not to reconnect romantically after the war- Harry was eager to go straight into auror training, and Ginny had dreams of finishing up at Hogwarts and pursuing a professional quidditch career. Their lives were heading in different, very busy, directions. Ginny had been torn up about it during their first term and had not looked twice at any of the guys who had been eyeing her hopefully for months now. Hermione was thrilled at the thought of her friend getting back out there.

“Ginny!” she exclaimed. “I’m so happy! Who’s the lucky guy, then?”

Ginny bit her lip. “He’s from another house,” she hedged.

Hermione knew that feeling all too well. She’d bet ten galleons Ginny was into a Slytherin.

“You know that wouldn’t bother me.”

“Yeah, because you’re enamored with Nott.”

Her cheeks flamed. “Ginny, lower your voice,” she hissed.

Ginny waggled her eyebrows. “You aren’t denying it?”

Hermione sighed. “No, I’m not. But that doesn’t mean anything.”

“What do you mean, it doesn’t mean anything?” Ginny demanded. “You’re telling me after months of watching you two idiots ignoring your feelings for one another, you’re finally admitting it to me, only to say nothing is going to happen? I won’t accept that answer, Hermione Jean Granger.”

Hermione covered her face with her hands to hide her flaming cheeks.

“Ginny, I can’t. We live together. And he’s my best friend. I don’t want another Ron situation.”

It had been humiliating, pining over her best friend for years. Everyone could see that she had feelings for Ron, except for Ron. And once he’d caught on, he’d toyed with her, dangling his relationship in front of her but keeping her close, flirting with her when things weren’t going well with Lavender but going back to his girlfriend in the end. She’d sworn off pursuing friends after that, not willing to risk the complicated feelings ever again.

“I love my brother, but he was quite stupid while he was in school.”

“Ginny.”

“He was! He had a smart, gorgeous witch who would have done anything for him, and he ignored her for blonde hair and big breasts.”

Hermione winced.

“Not that your breasts aren’t great,” Ginny rushed to correct herself. “They’re very perky and proportional to your figure-”

“Ginny!”

“-but you know what I mean. Nott, on the other hand, is not stupid. He’s crazy about you, too.”

Hermione turned her head to the Slytherin table, not sure what she was hoping to see, but spotting him deep in conversation with Astoria Greengrass. They were leaning in close to one another, and she was twirling a lock of pale blonde hair around her finger. Theo was smiling warmly.

Her chest ached.

“Yeah,” she replied bitterly. “He looks super into me right now.”

Ginny looked over and bit her lip. “I don’t think-”

“Save it, Gin,” she sighed. “Theo and I are just friends. But that doesn’t mean you can’t have more with your mystery Slytherin. Who’s the lucky bloke?”

Ginny still looked hesitant, unsure. Hermione forced herself to smile, feeling guilty that she’d brought down Ginny’s happy confession.

“I promise, I’m happy for you. I want to know. Please don’t worry about me.”

Ginny wavered just a moment before smiling shyly. Hermione felt a rush of envy and warmth. She was envious because she wanted more than anything to know that she could ask Theo to be her date and that things would work out. She was equal parts thrilled for Ginny, though, and she attempted to focus on that part of her.

“Blaise Zabini,” Ginny confessed.

Hermione beamed at her. “I knew it!”

“You did not!”

“I did! He’s so suave. You’ve been acting like you’re immune, but I know you.”

Ginny smiled, cheeks turning slightly pink. “Yes, well, I guess he’s worn me down.”

“Then he’s the luckiest guy in the world.”

She looked over her shoulder again, eyes finding Theo. He was still talking to Astoria. She was laughing now, her cheeks pink.

Hermione looked down at her half full plate and suddenly felt queasy at the thought of finishing it.

She pushed away from the table and fought to keep acting normal.

“I’m going to head back up to my room. I have a headache. Probably too much reading today.”

Ginny squeezed her hand, eyes full of concern. “Feel better,” she responded simply, not forcing Hermione to talk about it.

She walked at a normal pace out of the Great Hall, not wanting to call attention to herself. Once she was out of sight of most of the school, she sped up until she was almost at a jog, desperate to get away from the sight of Theo with another witch.

***

Hermione walked down to breakfast alone the next morning, knowing she couldn’t avoid Theo forever but not ready to face him after seeing him flirt with someone else.

She’d known he was flirtatious by nature, but watching him with Astoria last night had been painful. She’d gotten so used to his attention being focused on her, she hadn’t realized she’d started to feel some hope deep down.

No matter, she told herself. They were unattached, just friends. She would get over her pesky feelings with time, and it wouldn’t hurt forever.

When the owl post came, she was surprised to see flowers coming her way.

A school owl dropped off a small bouquet next to her plate. She blinked stupidly at the flowers, feeling confused and curious and flattered all at once.

She studied the interesting mix of pale pink valerian against the bright red sorrel flower, spearmint mixed in instead of traditional greenery.

The smell was divine, and the unique combination was gorgeous.

There was a small note tied to the white ribbon that bundled it all together.

‘It’s time for an admission.

For you, with sincerity.’

“Oh, my god,” Ginny breathed, eyes bright with excitement.

“When did you pick up that phrase?” Hermione asked absentmindedly. “You’re a witch.”

“Never mind that. Hermione, this is serious.”

She tore her eyes from the flowers and turned to Ginny. “What?” she demanded. “What does it mean?”

“Hurry up with your breakfast, and cast a stasis on that bouquet. We are running to the library.”

“What?” Hermione asked, feeling increasingly desperate. She could hear excited murmurs starting up, and she had the horrible feeling that everyone else knew something she didn’t.

She hated that feeling.

“It’s an old, traditional custom. Someone is trying to tell you something with those flowers. It looks like you have an admirer.”

Chapter Text

Hermione poured over 'The Language of Flowers', finger tracing the outline of a sorrel bloom.

“Affection” she declared.

Ginny sighed happily. “Keep going!”

“I’m trying!”

She flipped the page quickly, bypassing the speedwell flower in search of the spearmint.

“Warmth of sentiment,” she read, heart fluttering.

“Oh, my,” Ginny breathed, dangerously close to squealing.

Hermione found herself uncharacteristically close to squealing, as well. She skipped several pages, on the hunt for valerian.

“Hurry,” Ginny insisted.

“I’m trying!”

She flipped past it, finding herself at the zinnia flower. She backtracked until she spotted the pale pink bloom she was looking for.

“Valerian: Readiness.”

Ginny did squeal this time. Hermione shushed her, cheeks flaming.

“Hermione!” Ginny whisper-yelled. “You have a secret admirer!”

It did look that way.

She was immensely flattered. She breathed in the bouquet, smiling widely.

“I think I do,” she agreed.

“Oh, how romantic. If he’s following customs, he’ll keep sending them until he’s ready to make himself known. I would expect another this week. Oh, Merlin, I’ll bet he’s going to ask you to the Valentine's social.”

She bit her lip, suddenly thinking of Theo. She’d pictured the two of them spending the evening together, cringing at the Cupid overload.

She was flattered, but she couldn’t imagine spending the evening with anyone else.

She looked again at the bouquet, conflicted.

“Ginny,” she sighed. “What if…”

“Go on,” Ginny urged.

“What if someone is taking a huge risk to confess their feelings for me, and I embarrass them because…”

“Because…?”

“Because I don’t want an admirer if it’s not Theo.”

Ginny pulled her in for a hug.

“I know you’re crazy about him. Maybe… Maybe now is the time to admit it to him.”

“No, I-”

“Shh,” Ginny interrupted. “Listen. This is a dream come true for a lot of witches. A bouquet of intent means someone is serious about you. It’s incredibly romantic. If you’re not feeling open to it because of Theo, you should really talk to him. You never know how he’s feeling if you don’t try. If he feels the same way, he’s probably freaking out over you getting this bouquet. It could be the catalyst for something more between you!”

Hermione’s logical brain overruled the hope that managed to spark at Ginny’s words.

“Gin, I just can’t. I can’t take it if I say something and he doesn’t feel the same.”

Ginny heaved a world-weary sigh. “Then let’s see where the bouquets go. If you won’t try something with Theo, maybe something could spark between you and your secret admirer.”

Hermione highly doubted it.

She looked down at the bouquet again, still feeling conflicted over it.

“Let your admirer show you who he is before you make a decision,” Ginny finally instructed. “Let yourself enjoy being romanced a little. You never know.”

***

“There she is!”

Hermione felt her cheeks flush as the female prefects ambushed her outside of the meeting room.

“Here I am,” she agreed.

“A bouquet of intent,” Clarke sighed. “It’s dreamy.”

It had been two days since the bouquet arrived, and Hermione had been grilled about it by all her female friends, plus a few girls she hardly knew.

Theo had asked her about it, and she’d told him about her trip to the library to look up the meanings. He’d smiled as she described the rush to find all the flowers while Ginny urged her to hurry. He’d asked her if she wanted to receive another.

She’d floundered through a response, trying desperately to seem normal. She'd hoped to come across as casually interested- cool, but thankful for the sentiment. She wasn't sure if she'd succeeded.

“Oi, don’t accost her,” the man in question called. “Let’s get this meeting going.”

She smiled at him thankfully.

The meeting was quick, perfunctory. This year had been blessedly free of villainous attacks on the school, and they only needed to address academic and behavioural issues.

Theo and Hermione left the meeting together, heading down to the Great Hall for dinner.

“Can we study your flash cards again for Ancient Runes?” Theo asked. “They’re genius.”

“Of course. I love using them.”

He grinned. “I know you do, you little swot,” he said fondly.

She bumped him with her shoulder. “You’re not supposed to call me a swot,” she sniffed, feigning offence.

“It’s a compliment,” he assured her.

Her heart fluttered stupidly. “You’re just trying to butter me up so I don’t make you make the next set of cards.”

“You’ve caught on.”

She rolled her eyes affectionately. “Okay. I’ll see you in the common room after dinner.”

She took her usual seat at the Gryffindor table and waited for dinner to appear before her. As the shepherd’s pie appeared on the serving tray nearest her, so did a pop of color to her left.

Her eyes landed on another bouquet.

The deep purple clematis and white gardenia were a sharp contrast, offset beautifully by the green ivy.

Ginny beamed at her.

“Oh, get out your book!” she exclaimed.

Hermione blushed. “Not in front of everyone,” she insisted.

She was dying to look, though. She’d been carrying around the rented book on Victorian flower language since the first bouquet arrived.

The smell of the gardenias was lovely, and it taunted her as she hurried through dinner. As soon as she’d lingered long enough at the table to appear as if she weren't freaking out internally, she and Ginny rose and hurried from the room together.

They headed for the Transfiguration courtyard for privacy and sat on a bench. It was cold beneath her, but she didn't waste time with a warming charm.

The note was enclosed in an envelope this time, and Hermione tore it open as Ginny summoned the book.

‘A perfect combination.

Yours, with adoration

X’

“Oh, my,” she breathed.

“Clematis symbolizes mental beauty. Aww,” Ginny cooed. “I love it. Okay, gardenia, gardenia… here! It means you’re lovely, or secret love. Oh, Merlin, okay. Get it together, Ginny.”

Amusement threatened her excitement. “Ginny!” she exclaimed.

“Sorry! Okay, ivy means affection, friendship, and fidelity.”

“Wow,” Hermione sighed. “That is…dreadfully sweet and romantic.”

Ginny nodded. “You’re a lucky witch.”

Hermione nodded slowly, eyes on the bouquet, head in the clouds. “I am.”

***

Mental beauty, you’re lovely, secret love, affection, friendship, fidelity.

Affection, warmth of sentiment, readiness.

Hermione stared at both bouquets as she lay awake that night.

The thrill of being pursued was warring with her conflicting emotions about Theo.

Studying together had gone swimmingly, as it always did, and Hermione adored the way he made her feel both academically challenged and silly at the same time. He was intelligent and so funny, his humor not distracting from what they were doing but keeping the atmosphere light as they studied dry material.

He would be a perfect partner.

She looked at the bouquets, torn.

Her secret admirer was making it known that he both adored her brain and found her lovely. It was a familiar sentiment, as she felt the same way about Theo.

She turned away, looking at the ceiling, trying to turn her brain off enough to feel sleepy. She wanted to be fresh for her classes tomorrow.

She turned back to the flowers, unable to help it.

“Merlin, help me,” she groaned.

***

“I’m stuck.”

“Let me see.”

Theo passed the scroll over to Hermione.

“See the tail on this one here? I can’t tell if it’s supposed to indicate an Egyptian slant, which would translate to ‘power’, or if it’s supposed to be a Celtic accent, which would translate to something more along the lines of purity.”

She nodded, studying it closely. “Let’s look at the context clues, yeah? This one here,” she gestured, “could mean white, instead of snow. And this sentence here refers to the moon. I’m seeing themes of light, brightness. I would say it’s a Celtic accent.”

He looked at the runes she’d pointed out, brow furrowed. “See, I was thinking what you’re seeing as the moon was referring to Isis, which makes me think of godlike power.”

“Hmm,” she murmured, reaching for the scroll again.

Their fingers brushed. She pulled her hand back quickly, feeling her face warm. She couldn’t bear to look up at him.

She focused on the rune in question, leaning in a bit closer. “No,” she decided. “It’s ‘moon’.”

“Alright, then. We’ll go with that. So this one is purity. I think it’s describing-”

“A ritual,” they finished together.

“Brilliant,” he told her. His eyes were bright. Her chest seized, her desire to lean in and kiss him nearly overwhelming.

She felt the metaphorical weight of this morning’s bouquet in her book bag, preserved carefully and shrunken to fit neatly in a pocket until she could get to her dorm to put it with the others.

The blue salvia and dwarf sunflower, she’d read, symbolized her admirer was thinking of her with adoration. She’d blushed upon receiving it, tucking away the note that simply read ‘always.’

Theo had not brought up the bouquets again, and it had been disheartening. He seemed to not care that she’d been receiving them.

'He doesn’t like you that way', she reminded herself. 'But someone does…'

She pulled back, dipping her quill into the pot of ink at her side.

“Right, we’ve got the gist of this one,” she declared, determined to focus on schoolwork instead of the man in front of her. “I’ll start on the writeup.”

***

The next week, Hermione and Theo had three exams. If he hadn’t forced her into the Great Hall for meals, she never would have surfaced from the library except to attend classes.

As they left Charms, Hermione was buzzing with enthusiasm.

“That went so well,” she gushed. “We both nailed the nonverbal portion!”

Theo grinned. “Of course we did. I told you we would.”

She beamed. “You did. But you always say that.”

“And you always ace your exams. Honestly, Hermione, love, you should listen to me more often.”

She shrugged. “It’s my nature to obsess over exams. You know this.”

He smiled affectionately at her. “I do. And I know you’re going to still attempt Transfiguration revisions after dinner, even though your brain is fried.”

“We only have four months until N.E.W.T.s,” she defended. “If I want all Os, I have to stick to my schedule.”

He slung an arm over her shoulders as they walked down the stairs.

Hermione briefly wondered if she should let him. Would her admirer see and stop sending her bouquets? She was starting to look forward to them- the one she’d gotten this morning had brightened her mood considerably before her exam.

The apple blossom had been gorgeous, and the message had made her melt- I prefer you above all. The note had been a bit more bold- ‘I hope you feel the same. I hope you'll let me know soon. X’

She inhaled Theo’s familiar scent and relaxed into his side, deciding that her admirer would just have to be okay with the fact that her best friend was a hugger.

She still hadn’t made up her mind about the admirer- she supposed they were getting closer to revealing themselves, if their note had been any indication.

“Is tomorrow still a girls only Hogsmeade trip?” he asked.

She nodded. “Ginny and I have got to find something to wear to the Valentine’s Day social. It’s in a week.”

He sighed. “I’ll just have to go with Blaise. He won’t let me linger at Scrivenshaft’s like you will.”

“Something tells me you’ll be alright for one trip. Didn’t you just buy some personalized parchment last time?”

“It’s the principle of it.”

She patted his arm. “Poor thing. Next month, we’ll spend extra time browsing.”

“Thank you.”

She vowed to focus on her revisions this evening without getting distracted by romantic notions- she would have plenty of time for that tomorrow. Tonight, she would work toward earning all Os.

Chapter Text

Hermione was feeling on top of the world as she walked to Hogsmeade, her arm entwined with Ginny’s.

A single pink camelia had appeared on her nightstand this morning. She’d memorized many of the flowers’ meaning from the book, and she knew without looking that it symbolized ‘longing for you.’

A note was tied to it with a ribbon- it read ‘I hope you’ll see me at the Valentine’s Day social. X’

She’d been right- her admirer was going to reveal himself in less than a week.

She told Ginny about the flower and note as they approached Gladrags.

“Oh, I’m so excited!” Ginny exclaimed.

“I am,” Hermione hedged, “But I’m also still uncertain.”

“Because of Theo?”

Hermione nodded. “I’ve loved all the attention, really. It’s very flattering. And I want to get swept up in it all. But I’m not sure it’s fair if I have feelings for someone else.”

“But you’re not going to pursue those feelings, right?”

“Right…”

“Then give it a chance. The bloke is obviously smitten. Something could grow.”

“I think you’re right.”

They slipped into the store, and her eyes were drawn to a rack of pink and red. She walked toward it, eyes roving over the different fabrics.

She vowed to put the dilemma from her mind for now. It was girls day.

“I like the dresses instead of the robes, I think,” Ginny declared.

Hermione agreed. “Dress robes are pretty, but I feel so girly in a sundress.”

They browsed for a while, Hermione picking up a few dresses to try on.

“I wish I could wear pink,” Ginny sighed.

Hermione laughed. “You can wear whatever you want, Gin.”

“With this coloring? I think not.”

She held up a pale pink satin dress. Hermione hummed. “Well, not that shade,” she admitted.

Ginny laughed. “Yeah, I look like a washed out old lady.”

Hermione looked around for a more peachy shade while Ginny examined a few red dresses.

“How about this one?” Hermione asked.

“Ooh, give.”

It was a satin tea length dress with an a-line skirt in a shade of warm, peachy pink. The straps were delicate and barely there.

Ginny put back everything that was in her arms and took the dress to the changing rooms. She stepped out with a twirl.

“It’s beautiful on you, Gin! Get it.”

Ginny nodded. “I’ll take it. Thanks, Hermione. You should look at something red.”

“A Gryffindor wearing red? Groundbreaking.”

Ginny rolled her eyes and disappeared back into her changing room. Hermione went back toward the dresses, looking for something red that looked romantic without being too classic.

She found a couple of promising options and took them back to the room Ginny had just vacated.

The first- her favorite- was an awkward length on her. If she had more of a curve to her bottom, it would hit just right, she realized sadly.

She tried on a dress that looked plain on the hanger, but she’d had high hopes for the asymmetrical hemline. It was mostly chiffon, with a lace overlay lining the v-neck that was just low enough to show off her decolletage while still being school-appropriate. The sleeves were billowy and sheer, coming halfway down to her elbows. The longest parts of the hemline were tea length, the shortest hitting just at her knees. There was a silk ribbon right under the bust that helped give her more of a figure. She felt decidedly feminine and pretty in it.

“What do you think?” she asked.

“I love it,” Ginny gushed. “That’s a perfect style on you.”

Hermione happily changed back into her denims and trainers, relieved it hadn’t taken her all afternoon to find something.

“That was easy,” she declared as they stepped out of the store, bags in hand.

“I agree. Let’s celebrate with a butterbeer.”

“Lead the way.”

Hermione was not a big shopper, nor was she someone who had a lot of opportunity to try on clothes with a girlfriend in her youth. The feeling of buying a pretty dress and having someone to gush over it with was new, and much welcomed. She was feeling light as she stepped into The Three Broomsticks. She smiled, turning to Ginny to mention how thankful she was for their trip, when she spotted him.

The messy brown curls caught her eye first. He had his head thrown back in laughter, his perfectly straight, white teeth exposed, dimples out in full force. He trained his stunning blue eyes on the blonde at his side. Hermione watched, chest aching, as he slung an arm around her shoulders and pulled her in for a hug.

Astoria Greengrass beamed, looking up at him with equally bright blue eyes, happiness and affection practically radiating from her.

Hermione stopped in her tracks, all lightness gone in an instant.

“What is it?” Ginny demanded after one look at her, spinning around to see whatever had put the stricken look on Hermione’s face. Hermione watched her friend’s shoulders slump as she spotted Theo. “Oh, Hermione, I’m sorry-”

“Can we go?” Hermione asked.

“Yeah, let’s go sneak down to the kitchens at school and get some hot chocolate.”

Hermione nodded, turning on her heel and booking it for the door.

They walked in silence for a bit, Hermione fighting back tears.

Ginny risked a look at her and sped up even more. “Why don’t you go up to my dorm and I’ll go get the hot chocolate?”

“Okay,” Hermione agreed, not wanting to see anyone or go to her own room.

She hurt as she climbed the stairs to Gryffindor Tower.

She’d not realized how bad she had it for Theo. All the flowers, the stern talks with herself, Ginny’s enthusiasm for her secret admirer, and her own flattery had distracted her enough that she thought she had it under control.

She’d been wrong.

She could feel herself crying as she spoke the password to the Fat Lady’s portrait.

“Are you alright, Dear?” the fat lady asked.

Hermione swiped at her eyes and repeated the password.

“Oh, fine.” The portrait swung open, and she slipped into the room, casting a notice-me-not charm on herself and taking off for the stairs that led to the girls dormitories.

She climbed onto Ginny’s bed and closed the curtains before lifting the charm. She clutched a pillow to her midsection, letting herself cry again. She had the presence of mind to cast a muffliato when she realized it was going to be a proper noisy cry.

She hung her head, shoulders shaking, eyes squeezed tightly shut. She felt so stupid.

She was in love with her best friend, and he was with someone else.

How could she have let things get this bad?

She couldn’t stop replaying the moment he put his arm around Astoria and pulled her close, the way she’d looked up at him, so happy.

She cried harder.

The curtains parted just enough for Ginny to climb in. She cast a charm to keep the tray of cocoa levitating near them as she pulled Hermione in for a hug.

Her friend stroked her hair while she cried, comforting her while she let it all out.

“I’m so sorry, Hermione.”

When her tears slowed, she sat up and wiped at her eyes. Ginny grabbed the tray of hot chocolate and handed it over.

Hermione took a sip. The warm, rich drink was comforting but did not numb the ache in her chest.

“Here’s what we’re going to do.”

Hermione sipped the hot chocolate as she waited for Ginny to go on.

“We’re going to have a sleepover tonight. And we’ll eat all the snacks I packed for this term instead of a real dinner.”

Hermione let out a watery laugh.

“And then we’ll wake up feeling miserable in the morning, and we’ll beg Winky to bring us breakfast in bed, and she will.”

Hermione opened her mouth to protest, but Ginny raised a hand to silence her.

“I don’t want to hear it. You know Winky would love to spoil you a little. And you deserve it. Anyway, while the rest of the school is at breakfast, you’re going to go back up to your room and take a long bubble bath, and then you can spend the day wallowing in your bedroom. And when Monday comes, it’s back to normal for you. You’re not a moper. You’re a strong, independent witch with a kickass support system, and you’re going to be just fine. Yeah?”

Hermione’s eyes watered again. “Yeah,” she agreed.

***

Hermione followed Ginny’s plan.

Sunday morning, she woke up with a sugar hangover and lingering guilt that she’d had so much candy- her dentist parents would be horrified. Winky served them both tea and croissants with a fruit plate. Once they’d filled up on bread, Hermione snuck back to her dorm.

The common area was empty when she arrived. She cast a quiet homenum revelio, and it showed that she was alone in the dorm. She sighed in relief, not ready to see Theo yet, and filled the bathtub with scalding hot water and lavender bubble bath.

She sunk into the bubbles and closed her eyes, determined to relax.

She felt the tension start to leave her as she inhaled the fragrant steam and practiced a breathing exercise.

Her eyes felt puffy, and she felt emotionally raw already. She lingered, trying to focus on self care instead of her aching heart, until the water cooled. Then she grabbed her own stash of snacks and disappeared into her room, warding the door to assure her unbothered privacy.

She climbed into bed and looked at the bouquets on her nightstand, then promptly burst into tears again.

Once she was all cried out, she allowed herself to take a nap. She hadn’t napped in years, she realized once she woke up and helped herself to a family sized bag of crisps. She looked out the window of her room, taking in the snowy grounds outside.

She thought about taking a walk, but decided not to leave her room. She didn’t want to chance seeing her roommate.

She wondered if he’d even noticed she hadn’t returned yesterday, or if he was too caught up in Astoria.

She decided she didn’t want to know.

She accioed a mystery novel and spent the rest of the day devouring it, determinedly not focusing on her own life. She ate her way through a bag of pretzels and a package of tim tams at dinnertime and helped herself to a calming drought once the sun was down, knowing she would need the aid to sleep after her nap.

It worked, and as she sank into slumber, she recalled Ginny’s words.

She would be okay tomorrow, she promised herself.

Chapter Text

Hermione could not avoid Theo forever, she quickly realized Monday morning.

“Hermione, love! What happened to you this weekend?”

She’d been trying to leave quietly, already up and dressed in her uniform for the day by the time she normally woke. It appeared Theo had also woken up way earlier than usual, as he was seated on their navy blue couch, cup of tea in hand, watching her slink down the hallway.

“Hello, Theo,” she greeted him. She hoped her voice sounded normal. “I had a sleepover with Ginny Saturday night and spent a lazy day reading yesterday.”

“Everything okay?” he asked with a frown. “You have not ‘spent a lazy day reading’ since we’ve lived together.”

She waved off his concern, ready to get away from him for the moment. “I needed it. Anyway, all is well, I was just headed to the study room for some revising-”

“I’ll come with,” he volunteered, jumping up from the couch.

Merlin, she’d been desperately hoping to avoid this.

She couldn’t think of a way to excuse herself politely, so she forced a smile and waited for him to get his book bag.

“How was girls day?” he asked as they headed down the tower’s spiral staircase.

“It was…good,” she finished lamely.

Her voice sounded dull to her own ears. She watched his shoulders tense. He could tell something was wrong. Of course he could. She was doing a terrible job of acting normal.

She pointedly did not ask about his day with Blaise, as he’d clearly not been honest about who he was spending his day with.

He tried again to engage her in conversation as they made their way down another flight of stairs.

“Did you find an outfit for the social?” he asked.

“Yes, and so did Gin. It was nice to feel like a normal teenage girl.”

He smiled warmly. “Good. Did you know Blaise and Ginny are going together? It was all Blaise could talk about Saturday.”

She was dying to stop talking about Saturday.

She forced a smile. “Yes, I knew it was only a matter of time before he won Ginny over. He has… a way with witches.”

Theo laughed. “That’s putting it mildly. He seems to really like Ginny, though. I think he may have found the witch who will tame him.”

“Thank Merlin. Hey, what did you think about the reading for Potions? I hope it means we’ll start on Wolfsbane.”

He took the bait, thankfully.

The study room was completely empty at half six in the morning, and Hermione regretted everything as they settled opposite each other at the table closest to the door.

She cast a warming charm and ignited the wall sconces, trying to relax in the cold room with only the object of her recent heartbreak for company.

“You cast the best warming charms.”

She rolled her eyes. “You always say that, but it’s not that hard-”

“Ah ah,” he interrupted. “Take the compliment, Hermione, love.”

She cast her eyes downward, chest aching at the nickname.

She cleared her throat. “Okay, I’m going to focus on human to animagus transformation,” she stated abruptly, pulling out her Transfiguration textbook.

“Yes, Professor,” he replied, pulling out his own textbook.

Hermione set a timer and hit the books, ready to stop bloody talking.

***

Theo seemed to be everywhere she looked over the course of the week.

He was waiting for her in their common room when she attempted to sneak out, he was walking her to all their classes, meeting her at the entrance to the Great Hall before she could sneak away to the library, and he was lounging on the couch when she came back to their dorm after visiting with Ginny. He was inescapable.

She bitterly wondered when he was finding time for his new girlfriend if he was spending so much time attached to her at the hip.

By the time Valentine’s Day rolled around, she was a mess.

She woke up to a new bouquet on her nightstand.

Red carnations.

‘My heart aches for you.’

She sighed, rubbing her face roughly with her hands. She knew that feeling all too well.

She was feeling terribly anxious at the thought of coming face to face with her secret admirer tonight. She would have to break his heart. Having recently had her heart broken, she was already feeling guilty for inflicting this on someone else.

She had no clue who he could be, and she wondered about it for the hundredth time as she styled her hair and donned her uniform.

No one had given her any indication that they had feelings for her. It had all been anonymous, and through the language of flowers.

She sighed at the bouquet before quietly leaving her room.

She’d risen early again in the hopes of having some alone time, and it seemed she was in luck. She hurried to leave, tying the cloak around her robes as she snuck out.

She wandered the halls, holding tightly to her cloak to keep warm. When she came to the ground floor, she wondered where to go that Theo wouldn’t look. She decided to take a walk along the Black Lake and enjoy a solitary morning in the snow. She cast a strong warming charm and headed out, appreciating the snow covered grounds and the silence around her.

She rehearsed what she would tell her secret admirer as she strolled.

“I’m so flattered- no... I truly appreciate the sentiment- ouch… Thank you so much, the bouquets have truly been the highlight of my day…okay, better, but… I’m afraid I’m dealing with some unrequited feelings for someone right now…”

She sighed, stomach clenching with guilt and anxiety. Maybe she would just skip the social. The prefects would have it under control…

Her timer went off, breaking her out of her downward spiral. It was time for breakfast.

She made her way back to the castle, shoulders easing once she was inside the warm entrance hall.

“Hermione, what are you doing standing in the entrance hall?” Ginny asked. “You look frozen!”

“I was taking a walk,” she defended herself. “I needed some solitude.”

Ginny tucked Hermione into her side. “You’re going to catch a cold.”

“Okay, Molly.”

Ginny glared at her. Hermione didn’t dare tell her she looked even more like Molly now.

She thawed further with her first cup of tea. Ginny kept her distracted with talk of Blaise, and Hermione found herself smiling for the first time all morning at the story of him presenting Ginny with her own bouquet of intent.

“And what kind of flowers were in it?” she asked.

“Sorrel, pink roses, and edelweiss,” Ginny sighed.

“Wow,” Hermione responded. “Edelweiss is…courage and devotion?”

“Yes, and pink roses are happiness.”

“And affection with the sorrel,” Hermione finished. “Ginny, he’s smitten.”

Ginny beamed. “I know. I think I am, too.”

Hermione was happy for Ginny, truly, but as she listened to her friend talk about her happily returned feelings, surrounded by an explosion of red and pink heart decorations, she couldn’t help but start feeling sorry for herself.

She nibbled at her toast and let her second cup of tea go to waste, excusing herself early to start the walk to ancient runes. Of course, Theo was leaving the Slytherin table at the same time. He met up with her in the hallway and fell into step beside her.

She felt like she was going to explode or be sick. She didn’t know which one, only that she could not keep going on like this.

“Excuse me,” she interrupted while he monologued about his interpretation of this week’s rune decoding project. “I forgot something in the Great Hall. See you in class!”

She took off the way she’d come, heading downstairs, away from the object of her unrequited affection.

She took a page out of First Year Hermione’s book and bolted for the loo on the third floor. It had worked well enough the first and only other time she’d skipped classes, and it would work well enough now.

***

She was hiding in her room when she felt her privacy wards come down.

“Hey!” she protested as the door swung open and an angry Ginny Weasley stood before her.

“Hermione Jean Granger!” Her voice was shrill and a tad frightening. “You’re better than this. Get up.”

“Excuse me?”

“I said get up,” Ginny repeated.

Hermione waved her wand at the door, and it closed behind Ginny. She silenced the room.

“I don’t want to,” she said, admittedly a bit petulantly.

“I don’t care,” Ginny responded simply. “Get up, and let me help fix your hair.”

“I don’t need help fixing my hair,” she muttered as she pushed herself up and out of bed.

“You do, because you’ve not left yourself enough time to do hair and makeup and make it to the social on time.”

Hermione sighed. “I don’t want to face him.”

“Theo, or your secret admirer?”

“Both.”

She sighed. “I know. But you can’t let that stop you. This is your first step to feeling better. You’ve got to rip off the bandaid so you can start healing.”

Hermione frowned. “How do you know what a bandaid is?”

“Arthur Weasley is my father, Hermione.”

Hermione couldn’t help the chuckle. It broke her out of her pity party, and she nodded resolutely.

“Okay,” she declared. “Make me glamorous.”

***

The doors to the Room of Requirement were propped open with stone statues of Cupid, mirroring each other with arrows notched and ready to soar.

Hermione put a hand over her anxious stomach as she stood in the entryway with Ginny.

“You look gorgeous. Take a deep breath and get in there. I’ve got a date to find.”

Hermione smiled at her. It was weak, but it was genuine. She’d needed Ginny’s brand of tough love today.

She tossed her hair behind her shoulders, took a deep breath, straightened her spine, and walked in.

The decorations were tasteful. Pale pink hearts hung from the ceiling, and floating candles illuminated the room in a romantic glow. There was an ice sculpture of cupid by the refreshment table, which was covered in heart shaped goodies.

Hermione walked in and was greeted by several classmates. Her shoulders were tense, but no one seemed to notice her nerves.

“I am in love with that dress,” Daphne Greengrass sighed.

Hermione smiled at her. “Thank you. I like yours too- that shade of pink is stunning with your hair.”

She spotted Luna Lovegood at the refreshment table and excused herself to greet her friend.

“Luna, you look lovely.”

Luna’s dress was pale pink and covered in red glittery hearts. Her hair was piled on top of her head and secured with a heart shaped pin.

“Thank you, Hermione. You do, too. Are you feeling better?”

Hermione smiled. “I think so.”

“That’s good. Because it looks like your secret admirer is here.”

Hermione stiffened.

“What?”

“If the bouquet is anything to go by,” Luna continued, “He’s here to finally clear the air between you two.”

Her admirer was here already? She’d just gotten here. She hadn’t even had a chance to enjoy herself. And what did Luna mean by him finally clearing the air?

Heart pounding, palms clammy, body feeling hot and cold all at once, Hermione turned around slowly.

“Merlin,” she breathed, eyes filling with tears at the sight.

Theodore bloody Nott stood in front of her, painfully handsome in a button up shirt with a red tie. His curls were tousled- a sure sign that he’d been nervously running his hands through them- and he held a massive bouquet.

Her eyes didn’t even drift to the flowers. They locked on his.

She distantly registered the excited murmurs around her as the entire seventh and eighth year classes discovered her secret admirer.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Hermione, love. I was hoping we could talk?”

Her mouth opened, but no sound came out.

He cleared his throat. “Please?” he repeated, voice a bit shaky.

She nodded dumbly. She felt as if her brain were broken.

He linked an arm through hers and led her out of the room, down the corridor to the North Wing. He found an old leather couch and cast a quick cleaning charm on it before taking a seat and pulling her down with him.

He handed her the bouquet, and she finally looked down at it.

She took in the vibrant flowers with unbelieving eyes.

Baby’s breath- everlasting love.

Camellia in pink and white - I long for you. I find you adorable.

Red carnations - my heart aches with deep love.

Red chrysanthemum- I love you.

White heliotrope- eternal love and devotion.

Pink morning glory - affection.

Red roses - love. I love you.

Red salvia- forever mine.

Red tulips - a passionate declaration of love.

She couldn’t breathe.

“I’m sorry if I’ve upset you,” Theo murmured. His voice was quiet, unsure. “I’ve been planning this for weeks, and I never thought-” he cleared his throat. “I never thought it would end with you crying and looking so…stricken.”

She shook her head. “Theo…”

She couldn’t gather her thoughts. He continued explaining himself in her silence.

“You’re my best friend, Hermione, love. I spent all summer becoming enamored with you through our letters. And then you showed up at Platform 9 ¾ looking like the prettiest thing I’d ever seen. I’d noticed it growing up,” he stated like it should be obvious to her that he’d always found her attractive. “But seeing you as an adult, finally free from the stress of those last few years, smiling at me, was another story. I spent all of first term falling in love with you, and I chickened out of telling you before you left for the break. I moped around Italy with Blaise, picturing you at the Weasley house, alone with Ron again, not knowing how I felt about you. It was torture.”

Her chest loosened. She hadn’t realized just how heavy the weight had been until it was gone. She listened intently, heart soaring, giddiness taking over her.

“Then I started plotting, because I am an ambitious man, and I wanted you. And we were off to such a good start this term. I knew you would know what the bouquets meant. The social felt like the perfect time to make a grand gesture, because you deserve a grand romantic gesture. I’m so sorry if I’ve put you in an awkward position or embarrassed you. Merlin, I feel like an idiot-”

She leaned in and interrupted his rambling with a hand on his face. He stopped, blue eyes bright, searching. She answered his searching with a beaming smile and leaned in to finally kiss him.

Her heart soared. Her stomach was doing gymnastics. His hands were warm as they moved along her body, one settling on her waist and the other moving up her back to tangle in her hair.

He sighed into the kiss, deepening it, turning it from sweet to sultry. His tongue caressed her bottom lip, and she parted for him. He sunk into her, pulling her more firmly against him. She absentmindedly dropped the bouquet as her hands tangled in his hair, finally feeling his soft curls. She sighed breathily, not recognizing the noise as belonging to her, and shivered as the hand in her hair dipped lower, settling on her lower back and pressing her flush against him. He leaned over her, tipping her back to get closer, closer, until she was on her back, and he was on top of her, his hands roaming up her sides, skimming the sides of her breasts, her neck, coming to rest on her cheeks.

She was burning.

He broke away with a groan. “Gods above,” he muttered.

His were as wild as she felt, his hair deliciously mussed, his lips red from her lipstick and the pressure of her mouth on his. He looked wrecked in the best way.

He shifted to hold himself above her, careful not to rest his weight on her. “That was…”

“Incredible,” she responded dumbly.

He grinned wickedly. “Agreed.”

He sat up, pulling her with him. “I didn’t mean to get carried away like that,” he said, “but I’m not sorry. I’ve been waiting months to kiss you.”

She let out a breathy laugh. “I’m glad you’re not sorry. I’m not, either.”

She smoothed her hands over her dress, her hair, wishing she had a mirror. She looked down and saw her beloved bouquet on the ground.

“Oh no,” she gasped, reaching for it and holding it close. She cast a stasis charm on it to preserve it, relieved it hadn’t been damaged from her randy hands throwing it aside.

“Theo,” she murmured.

He smiled. “Yeah?”

“This bouquet…”

“I mean it all. I love you, Hermione.”

Her eyes welled again as her heart started working double time.

“I love you desperately. You’re my favorite person in the world.”

She smiled, hand over her heart, and listened as her dream came true.

“I dream of you and wake up wanting you. I spend every minute I can with you, and it’s not enough. I think about you constantly. I can’t get enough of you.”

“Theo,” she murmured, heart so full it was almost painful.

“I love you,” he repeated, shoulders slumping. “Merlin, it feels good to finally say it.”

“I love you, too,” she replied. “I was a little behind, but I knew when I spent the break separated from you. I’ve been torn up over it. I had no idea you felt the same way. Merlin, poor Ginny has had to listen to me whine all term over you-”

He kissed her again, interrupting her rambling this time. It was quick and sweet, and she wanted more.

“I have loved your bouquets,” she told him, “but they’ve had me terribly confused. I was in love with you, but I had a secret admirer sending me such amazing declarations. I thought I was going to break somebody’s heart tonight!”

He shook his head. “I’m sorry, Hermione.”

She laughed. “Don’t be sorry. I love you. I’m so happy it was you.”

He laughed, too, seemingly as giddy as her.

She stopped suddenly, recalling a certain gorgeous blonde.

“Theo…”

“Yes, love?”

“You’re not seeing Astoria Greengrass?”

He blinked. “Of course not.”

“I… oh. Then why…?”

He frowned. “Why what?”

She felt her cheeks heat up. “Perhaps I would’ve caught on that my secret admirer was you if I hadn’t seen you so cozy with her lately.”

He was silent, face impassive, until he started smirking.

“What?” she demanded.

“You were jealous.”

“Of course I was jealous! You were laughing with her and hugging her and touching her-” her voice was becoming slightly shrill - “and you were with her instead of Blaise in Hogsmeade!”

“Is that why you hid from me all bloody weekend?” he asked. “Did you see us in the five minutes Blaise and Draco were gone?”

“Draco?” she asked dumbly.

He groaned. “Hermione, Astoria is betrothed to Draco. And she’s as crazy about him as he is about her. They’re disgusting. I grew up with Daph, so Astoria is like my baby sister. I’ve been needling her incessantly about being the future Lady Malfoy.”

“But-”

“Draco came and met us in Hogsmeade. He and Blaise were only gone for five minutes when they had to use the loo. I was hugging her because she’d just shown me her courting gift from him. Of course you walked in during the one celebratory hug.”

She breathed a sigh of relief. “Oh, my god.”

“I’ve made you revert to muggle curses.”

“I feel…so stupid.”

“No,” he protested. “Just jealous.”

“Don’t look so smug.”

“Get used to it, Hermione, love. Now that I know you love me, too, I’m going to be the most smug man you’ve ever seen.”

“I look forward to it.”

He kissed her again, and pulled away reluctantly. “Do we need to go back to the social?”

“Are you kidding me? Let’s go back to our dorm before McGonagall finds out we’re dating and wards the bedrooms.”

Chapter Text

“Do we need to go back to the social?” Theo asked.

“Are you kidding me? Let’s go back to our dorm before McGonagall finds out we’re dating and wards the bedrooms.”

Theo's answering smile had her feeling like liquid heat.

They hurried to their dorm, stopping periodically to push each other against various tapestries and snog. Theo panted the password and slammed the portrait behind them, then dragged her down the hall to his room.

Once inside, he pushed her against the door and tangled his hands in her hair, his mouth rough against hers. She held him tightly, pressing herself against him. He hitched up her leg over his hip and rolled his hips into hers. She felt him, hard and prominent, against her center.

She moaned, the noise ripping from her wantonly.

She’d had sex, but not like this. She’d never felt this rush of heat, the all encompassing urge to get as close as she physically could to someone. She felt overwhelmed and hot and so, so needy.

His answering kiss was searing, his teeth nipping at her bottom lip.

“Fuck,” he swore, one hand bracing himself against the door by her head and the other roaming up her leg until it slipped under her skirt.

She gasped as he gripped her thigh underneath her skirt, her skin searing where he touched her. She tipped her head back as he trailed kisses along her neck, biting gently at her collarbone.

He fumbled with the zipper at her dress, and he had it pushed off of her shoulders before she could register what he was doing.

He eyed her breasts hungrily. She was immensely glad she’d listened to Ginny about the red pushup bra- she needed all the help she could get to make them look impressive.

Though, the way he was looking at her didn’t leave room for her to be self conscious. He appeared absolutely ravenous.

He pulled the cups of her bra down and moved his mouth to her chest in an instant, and she rubbed herself against him, desperate for friction as he sucked at her.

“Theo,” she pleaded.

He hummed against her.

She started fumbling with the buttons of his shirt, unable to focus on the coordination of it through the haze.

“Take this off and come to bed with me,” she finally demanded.

He groaned. “Yes, ma’am.”

He stepped away from her long enough to undress. She eyed his chest, his slender torso, the vee pointing directly toward where he was removing his trousers.

She stepped out of her heels and let the dress pool at her feet. She unclasped her bra, exposing her chest fully. He picked her up, her legs wrapping around his waist on instinct, and kissed her as he stumbled to the bed with her.

She hit the mattress with a soft “oomph” and was silenced by his mouth immediately. He settled over her, thrusting against her as his hands explored her body. She rolled her hips into his, reveling in the delicious friction.

His hand slipped between them to find the edge of her knickers and trace it teasingly.

“I will combust if you don’t touch me,” she breathed.

He let out a half moan, half laugh, and slipped the knickers down her legs. She shimmied out of them with his help, and he was finally, finally, touching her.

He found her clit with ease, and she groaned, rubbing herself on him.

“How do you like it?” he asked, breath warm against her ear.

She shivered. “Just like that,” she responded as he rubbed tight circles against her.

She was climbing fast. He kept his pace steady, telling her how good she felt, how amazing she was, how he couldn’t believe he was touching her like this-

Her nails dug into his shoulders and she tipped her head back with a breathy moan as she climaxed.

He groaned, hips thrusting against her like he was about to die if he didn’t feel the friction.

She yanked at his briefs, and he freed himself. She felt him, hot and heavy against her hip. He reached for his wand and cast the contraception charm on her. She felt herself get wetter, impossibly.

He lined himself up and took a minute to slow down, looking into her eyes as he started pushing into her.

She arched into him, gasping as he filled her for the first time.

“Theo,” she groaned.

He stilled, head tilting back in pleasure. “I know,” he answered. “Bloody incredible. So, so good.”

He started moving, slowly at first, then finding a rhythm that had her holding on tight as he chased his pleasure this time.

He sped up, rhythm starting to falter.

She was close, so close-

“Hermione,” he gasped. “I’m going to-”

“Yes, Theo-”

His hip stuttered, and the feral noise that left him as he reached his climax had her finishing, too. She threw her head back, overwhelmed with pleasure as he spilled inside of her.

“Fuck,” he cursed. “Fuck, Hermione.”

She collapsed against the mattress, and he collapsed on top of her. They were panting, sweaty, and so, so sated.

“Oh, my god,” she sighed.

He nodded, curls ticking her. His head was on her chest, his arms wrapped around her. “Agreed.”

She sighed, feeling boneless and out of her mind with hormones.

“Who knew it could be like that?” he asked quietly.

She ran her fingers through his hair and hummed in agreement. “Theo, that was incredible.”

He pressed a kiss to her sternum. “Yes,” he agreed sleepily.

He picked his head up and kissed her again before slipping out of her. She winced at the feeling of wetness leaving her. He hurried to cast a gentle cleansing charm on her and the sheets.

He tucked himself behind her, wrapped around her protectively as they settled into bed. She wandlessly turned off the lights.

“Don’t use wandless magic in front of me or I’ll get hard again,” he complained.

She huffed a laugh. “You’re ridiculous.”

“No, you are. You don’t know how many times I’ve had to come relieve myself after a D.A.D.A. lesson with you, Hermione, love.”

She grinned in the darkness, unable to believe what she was hearing.

“I love you,” she whispered.

He tightened his grip on her. “I love you, too.”

Chapter Text

The fireplace crackled merrily in the dim common room, the only other light coming from a single wall sconce next to the couch.

Hermione stared into the flames, knowing it was too warm for a fire but needing the comfort.

She heard the sound of slowly shuffling footsteps in the hallway, felt the couch cushion sink next to her.

She allowed herself to be pulled into Theo’s embrace, closed her eyes, and sighed at the feeling of his lips against her forehead.

“Why aren’t you sleeping?” he asked quietly. His voice was thick with sleep.

She shrugged. “Now that N.E.W.T.s are over, I don’t know what to do,” she admitted.

He stroked her hair.

“You and I both know that you got all Os.”

She shook her head. “We got different answers on that question about the way the sloth brain changes the color of the draught of living death from pink to cyan.”

He huffed a laugh. She pulled away to scowl at him.

“I’m sorry for laughing, love. It’s just that you were definitely the one who was right on that one.”

She sighed. “We don’t know that. We don’t know how I did on any of the exams. What if I can’t get into a Potions mastery?”

She felt her eyes filling with tears. She was so tired, it was making her emotional.

He pulled her close and kissed her forehead again, laying back and bringing her with him until she was laying on top of him, her head on his chest.

“Go to sleep, love. The results won’t be ready for another couple of weeks at the earliest. You staying awake and worrying won’t change anything. You’ve done your best, and you’ve done it brilliantly. You’re going to get a Potions mastery. I promise.”

She relaxed into him, reveling in his words. Her eyes grew heavy as she listened to the steady beat of his heart, felt the gentle rise and fall of his chest as his breath evened out.

She slipped easily into sleep with him at her side.

***

The sun gleamed brilliantly off the water, the combination of the steady crash of waves against the shore and the bottle of wine they’d drunk lulling Hermione into a doze.

Italy had been incredible- she’d needed the food, the wine, the sun, the time alone with Theo. She was utterly relaxed.

“Hermione,” Theo gasped.

She sat straight up, blinking blearily, panicked.

“What’s wrong?” she demanded.

He pointed as two owls swooped down toward them, dropping matching envelopes in their laps.

“Oh, Merlin,” she breathed. “N.E.W.T. results!”

They grabbed their envelopes, tearing them open.

Her heart pounded, breath caught in her throat as her eyes roved over the page in front of her.

She skipped the intro and the body of the letter, eyes zeroing in on the results.

Charms - Outstanding
Defense Against the Dark Arts - Outstanding
Transfiguration - Outstanding
Herbology - Outstanding
Arithmancy - Outstanding
Ancient Runes - Outstanding
Potions - Outstanding

She dropped the letter, letting out a squeal.

“Theo?” she demanded.

He grinned.

“Four Outstandings and Three Exceeds Expectations,” he said proudly.

She threw her arms around him.

“And you?” he asked.

She pulled away, eyes wet. “Guess.”

He shook his head. “Tell me!” he demanded.

“Seven Outstandings,” she whispered.

He stood and spun her around with a whoop.

“A fucking record breaker,” he announced proudly.

She beamed, giddy.

“You know what that means?”

“I’m getting the Potions Mastery,” she cried.

He hugged her tightly. “This is when you say ‘Theo, you’re always right, and you’re the best boyfriend in the world. I will never doubt you again.’”

She laughed. “Don’t get too ahead of yourself.”

He kissed her.

“Since you’re getting your pick of masteries, tell me where to go and I’ll go with you.”

“Your Potions and Herbology scores?” she asked.

“Outstandings. I’ll follow you,” he assured her.

They had plans to go into business together. She would brew, and he would be her backup, but mostly the frontman of their apothecary. He would use his inheritance to fund the venture, and to keep them in business long enough to turn a profit while donating the Wolfsbane they brewed.

It was a cause that was extra close to Hermione’s heart- her favorite professor had struggled to afford the potion. If she could donate it to werewolves, it would change their lives.

And Theo was going to help her do it.

She took him in under the Italian sun, heart soaring. She finally knew what she wanted to do, and she knew who she would do it with. What more could a girl ask for?

“I love you,” she breathed.

He smiled, something soft and tender and sweet.

“And I love you.”

They settled back in to watch their last sunset before they packed up for England to change the world.