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The dining table Sword reserved was halfway full, they just needed to wait for the Playgrounder’s friends! The rounded table was covered with white plastic and the place couldn’t have been better. Outside where their pumpkin spice candle blew out but Skateboard has a lighter to lit a blunt after the free food.
!
On Sword’s right was his lover Rocket. Who despises sitting next to Skateboard, a Playgounder. After Skateboard was Boombox, who was sharing his latest banger with Coil.
Anyone not dumb enough to reserve a seat outside is lucky enough to hear those beats. A dead body is now confused why they’re hearing their grandmother’s clock ten miles away from their grave.
A vaild reason why no one even thought of eating outside was because the winds were blowing hard enough to hear the flags waving around like lunatics in a rave. Sword, acting like an elderly person discovering what the word ‘internet’ means, didn’t knew any better.
It wasn’t like Rocket could ever blame him. No, he couldn’t! Sword was so innocent when it comes to discovering the internet. But Rocket will never forgive him for inviting these Playgrounders for their dinner date.
Sure they fight well. But god damn are they so arrogant and sooo full of themselves.
Rocket from time to time would excuse himself to go to the bathroom only to spam Sword to ditch the Playgrounders with his new phone. Poor Sword doesn’t know how to again turn on the notifications.
One of the greatest cons about dating a swordsmen, they’re forever stuck in medieval times.
Soon enough Shuriken and Slingshot were here, dressed in their formal uniforms commonly worn in Theive’s Den. Their kimonos matched their iconic colours with floral designs. Speaking of flowers, each of them wore one pink flower, pinned onto their kimonos either on the right side.
At least Boombox and Skateboard got those cheap rental suits at a local flea shop for the price and a plastic water bottle. Coil decided to wear a black tee (wearing it inside out, tag is still there) with an orange tie and called it a day. He didn’t bother changing out of his shorts with a poorly drawn lightning bolt on the edge of his left side.
Sword wore a suit borrowed from one of Medkit’s older suits while Rocket went with a tuxedo and black “tight” jeans. The only jeans he could find were his dad’s. They aren’t tight at all, it’s loose but they don’t too out of place.
“Guys, someone’s missing,” Shuriken pointed out as if none of them have eyes.
“Who are we waiting for again?” Slingshot asked.
“Steampunk,” Coil answered. “Took me a long time but I finally convinced him to come.”
Skateboard looks at him in shock, “Are you dead serious?” Coil nods. “50 bux if he doesn’t show up. Ain’t no way he said yes to you.”
“On SFOTH he said yes.”
“I don’t mean to be rude,” Boombox adjusted his tie, eyeing the lazy mutt next to him. “But how why and what? he said yes to you twice? Once for going out on a date and twice for this?”
Coil shurgged but smirked, “I’m just that lucky and uhhh hold on, lemme move seats real quick.”
He moved over and sat next to the Sword’s left while Shuri and Sling moved one seat to their right.
“It’s a bit chilly,” Boombox shivered for a bit. “Whose idea was it to eat out here in the 20 degree weather?”
“Guys, I think my lips are dry.” Skate joked as he felt his lips. “Oh never mind they are dry as hell.”
“Don’t look at me for anythin’,” Boombox looked away. “I left my coat by the hangers. At this point someone stole it.”
“What would they steal from you anyway? Used napkins from my café?” Slingshot’s fingers drummed against the wooden surface.
“I have a few bux on my name,” Boombox frowned.
“In quotes, few.” Skate retorts.
The waiter asked if they were ready for the first meal and sure enough, they were all ready. After they ordered the food (a bit pricey for everyone but sword), they all chatted about their favourite topics. But minutes came by and no food has arrived yet.
All that was there was red wine but someone, let’s not name names now, has a cup of water with ice cube in it. Guess correctly and youll have a jolly time in Pangea.
“You guys wonder how we haven’t ran of turkey?” Oh god here goes boombox starting the convo. “Like the mammoths?”
“The fuck are you talking about?” Skate arched a brow.
“Like the dodo birds. How aren’t they extinct?”
“Are you good bro?” Shuri lifted his glass of wine. “They’re held captive in some country until they’re pardoned by the owner.”
“Why are they pardoned in the first place?” Sling took a sip of his cup.
Shuri shrugged. “I dunno. My sister said they’re there for a pecking order.”
“The hell is a pecking order?”
“The Order of Pecking, I dont know!”
“Would this imply that turkeys will one day take over demonkind once and for all?”
“shuir, brother, you’re overthinking and not thinking enough,” boombox speaki g fax lokey. “Those flightless birds will be death befor we know it.”
“Why are we talking about turkeys taking over the world like that’s gonna happen?” Sword just had to but in. “Can that even be possible?” Dw chat he aint ginna ley that happen.
“Like my mom said,” shurit said. “You can never know.”
Captain obvious over here says “You dont even have a mom.”
“No one does Ksate,” boobbox then remembered someone here does have a parental figure. “Well… besides sword here.”
The ladder hummed.
At was exactly five minutes after the conversation when the waiter came in with the food. Apologising for the incovinece as they had to fire their most of their chefs, forcing the business to be understaffed.
Who gaf what they got rlly
Right after the waitress left, Rocket snorted (a line of flour), “Bullshit. I went to the bathrom and they have more employees than the customers here. Sword, you’re an idiot for not reserving a seat inside the abandonded building.”
“I kinda thought the weather would be cool.” Poor sword is getting the blame just to have a get together.
coil tocuhed sword’s shoulder, “Brother. Who told you in that its spring temperature in the night?” Sword was struggling with getting his finguer print in but sling had good aim with the napkin and tossed it at sword.
“Heyyy. Mind your manners no phones.”
“Awh shit.” Sword didnt say that.
The food was a bit mid at times.
“Bruh my soup is chilly as phuck.” Coil had his aoup as a joke. Its chilly as hell with bits of its broth still icey like a snowcone. This joke isnt funny anymore.
The same is sais with sword and rocket’s soup. Chicken, tomaor, beef. No matter. All lcey as hell.
“same..”
”pffh…”
Shuir and boombox had steak and it was well done and thats not a compliment at all. Boombod has experinces with chew toys but shuirken had to use both hands to tear the meat from the plat itselr.
Skate had chicken and rice soup and bit into the rawness of the meat and the crunchyness of the wheat. Dw hes that guy who had multiple bites and made it out alive and well and only gets sick for an hour.
Slingshot had a salad. He spat it out of shock and in pain.
“that leaf burnt my tounge!” Sling wasted no time dowing his drink. Shoving the plate away
“Overrall moral of the sotry,” stake clapped hands. “We got scammed.”
Coil muttered under his breath and accused the pussy of overexagterating. He picked a lettuse from steams plate with a fork and drove it to his mouth. He gasped and paniced and drank all of his glass.
“Yep no doubt.” Coil brok the glass upond setting it down. “We got cammed.”
“How does a phucking salad get hot but a soup- A LITERAL CERAL MIND YA- GET COLD LIKE DRY ICE?” Now rocket’s acking the real questions.
“Your guess is as good as mine.”
Despite the food having no flavour watsoever, they ended up trading plates and finished eating their first meal. Boom is in charge of asking a refill for the group because he finished last with that salad.
“Whos in charge of paying the billl tho?” No answered booms question. Not even sword, who invited everyone. “How are we gonna settle this?”
“Ooh! We can do that thing where if one person talks about a topic has ro pay the bill.”
Sling agreed. “Alrighy shuri, wanna assign us on a topic or who-“
”Alright bet! Im only say this one se lets get to it. rocket cant say how much he hates something or peole- that includes playgroun. Sword cant mention anything about medkit or his family.
“coil cant brag about boxing or his wins at all. l cant say anything about thieves den or defend them at all. Sling cant correct anyone about pastires or even talk about baking.
“Boombox cant talk about music or flipside. And lastly skate cant talk about his tricks and no sex jokes- that includes thats what she said jokes.”
Rocket then apoke, “wait i just realised aoemthing.”
(“This guy realises everything,” said boom to skate.)
“What id theres no loser? We all pay the price or-“
“We might as well just expose our bank accs if thers no loser that speaks the forbidin topic,” this idea was suggested by none other than aling. “In case if anyone loses, just tell us your Veemo and-“
Like a little kid, coil raises his hand shyly “I dont… have Veemo. I just have Helle.” His arm mustve have hilium for how high it is.
“I dont have Helle.”
“Everone has Helle. It comes with your bank app.”
“Does anyone have CheckApp?” Sword aksed.
As if sword did somwthing so horrid and said a slur with a hard ending, boombox shouted, “CHECKAPP?”
“Sword what criminal underworld do you reisde in?!” It was so bad even rocket couldn’t beilve his ears.
Shuri nodded, “how many teenagers did you scam today on InstaPint?”
“Thats a bigger sin than that one momenr with shuri and boombox dude.” Skate shook his head.
“What moment?”
“boombox ate half a box of Numinos and put the other half back then shuri ate the cookie and left none for us.” Skate told coil.
“No one- I didnt think anyone would want the boring part so I had to take matters into my own hands!”
“Being a glutton is already a big sin in the Bibble.”
“You think theres an autographed version of the book itsefl?” Somehow everyone heard rockets question.
“Ohh shit. They just carried it from centry to century,” stake brough his head down as he was dying of laughter.
The whole group dying of laughter hell! Unteils taking a quick leap into the atmousphere from all of the fists slamming aganst the desk.
“Few pages getting coffee stains and phucking up the text.”
“Illumina would not let that shit alide,” rocket pointed at shuir. “No way he will let anyone ruin that book.”
“What would that book be about anyway?”
“It has to be him repeating the phrase ‘I say on to Thee.’” Slings repainse to coils question got boom spat out his drink from the nose. “AW SHIT.”
“Weak dude!” Stake shouted.
While boom was having a coughing fit and hvaing skate pat his back, they moved on with another topic. As they talked their next round of food came. This time looking like leftovers from a hamster.
“l like how the bread comes with the following meal,” shuri takes two- FIVE handfuls of bread.
“Do you really need all of the phucking bread for what?!”
With a mouth full of garlic bread shuri muffles out, “mahmph hmph phmm yhmm!”
Sling rolled his eyes, “whater glutton.”
At least the second course wasnt too horrible. And fucking boombox forgot to get more wine. They didnt realae this until coil ased thegroup if there was any wine left. Whole talbe turned to boombox. The Fuxking water drinker. Coward.
“Not my fault. I dont drink but i drive.”
“You failed your vision test,” rocket deadpanned. “Twice.”
“Congratuations,” sling ahoved as many tenders has he could in his mouth. “You achived the impossible.”
“I have a good reason!”
“Tell it to the judge.”
They stayed quiet because they just ran out of things to say. Also to enjoy scraps because food is food if youre a playgrounder. Plus, its free. Whos to deny free food from the depts of hell?
Nearly every plate was just bits of meat missing bits or lack of skin with just a salad- maybe leaves from a tree mixed with grass.
El payaso shuri breaks the slience ans says, “say it with me guys! Chickins up!”
No one laughed. Nor aaid it with him.
“No one says that,” skate looks at him with a skeptial look.
Boom, sling, and coil would back stake up.
“Ueah no one has ever said that.”
“We have never came up with that notion.”
“Never thought it in the first place dude.”
Shuriken howver, digressed. “Chickens up!” He says as he shoves the entire meat down his throat.
Its not even chicken; its some microwaved beef sresold for fifteen bux. Mircowaved beef and its still raw.
Coils fone dinged. He pulled it out, let it spin and land on the table top, screen up. He start tapping around then nodded.
“Whut is it?”
“… steam’s gonna be coming late.” A bit sus hea trying to hode his screen.
Skate clapps and took his vitcory in the most soothing, calming manner. “LETS FUCKING GO! YOU OWE ME 50 BUX BIEEYOCH!”
“I aint giving you shit; you fumbled last round, i dont donate to losers.”
Skate gasps and looks around with a frantic expression, “guys i think a ghost arrived late too.. Boo! Booo! Boooo! Booo! Omga yall hearing this?!”
As skate booed, coil texted back and sword- the little marshmellow peeper, leaned over to hopefully see wat theyre talking about. He doesnt understand taco bell language. He sees coil swiping the messaging app up and turning the phone around, taking a hugee swig of his drink.
“Besides,” he takes the wine next to him, just now realising he srank all of it. “He didnt say that he wasnt coming. Just gonna be late.”
“If he doesnt come before dessert, not only 50 bux but also, you must drag your team down until Ban loses it.” Ooo. What a risky bet.
For our lovely audio listeners (we hate you to death), when Banhammer loses his patience he tends to… lets just say pack a bunch of death threats right to anyone’s face. Dont even ask him to rememner his momma is watching too. That should be the least of anyone’s concerns.
The crowd ooos and winces at the bet.
Coil, hoever, is no pussy. His prolong hum kept others on edge.
skate leaned over his food and reached out a hand. “Whadya say? Vas o no vas?” The buffalo mayo sauce painted his cheap tie.
The hand was shookn. No turning back.
Waiter came back to pick up the plates, leaving everyone on edge uet again. Dessert could come at any-
Why did rocket whistle? Why was it one of those ‘woow that is fucked up info’ whistles?
No one thought too mich of it but sword. “Pss, whats wrong?”
rocket whispered to him, “imma show you, but dont tell anyone.” Rocket lowerd the screen light and showed him a recent nofication. Not a text.
“Today?!”
Rocket nods. His fone dinged again, its from his dad. Tellin him that he may have to get through the window if he’ll be stayin out for another five minutes.
“Danm!” He muttered, not giving any fucjks really.
Though, the table continued to chat and talk about their plans as the night takes over these days.
Sling and skate are gonna look for more jakets. Shuri is gonna look for more places to scout and about. Boombox is gonna jam out-
“AH HAH! YOU LOST!” Rocket celebrated calmly. his robot hand made a louder slamming sound as he hit the table.
Boombox immediately stuttered as he tried to defind himself. “No! NO! WAIT! I JUST SAID I WOULD JUST JAM OUT-“
“Thats talking about music- YOU LOst!” Shuri shouted.
“NAA! PLEASE! THAT SHOULDNT COUNT!”
Finally. Sling spoke. “That might count because you talked about music.”
boombox slouched against his chair and groaned. His visior showed two Ts as his eyes.
“Hope you got extra in your shoe.” No one understood what coil meant.
Speaking of extra, a body falling with a voice exclaiming in shock. Skate slammed a hand against the table, “oh motherphucker.” He isnt getting the free content for NickNack.
Coil turned his back around and quickly got off his chair- making the liquid in everyones cups wiggle like jello and helped steampunk out.
“l didn’t think youd make it! Thank SOFTH you did, i dont gotta give anythin’ to fumble mumble here.” As soon as steam got on his feet, coil would get multiple small, quick slaps on his left upper arm. “Aiye aiye! Pues que hice?!!
“i can get myself up- ya muévete carnal!” Steam shuddered at the gentle breeze. “Uy. Coulda worn something less revealing.” Pro tip: wearing a small shawl over a thin strapped dress doesnr help at all.
Ofc it was sold for one nickle, a copper coin (not a penny, those are rare to find), and two lints. The shawl and heels were thrown away for a good reason. Not donated. Littered outside in the rain.
“You have insurance for your ankles?” No joke that heel is gonna snap any second.
“Hah! Insurance! Another thevies den joke no one gets.” Steam was not amused at the empty cup but took it away. “Anyway, whadida miss?”
”not much,” coil was quick to say 🤨
“Guys, can we make steam pay the bill instead?” Boombox was reallly rhis desperate. “He came in late- REALLY late and last one here pays the bill?”
“Mmm… sure,” skate approves. So did half of the table (three of them were joking while boombox was serious)
“And my time here is done,” Steam pushed away himself from the table and went up to the balcony. “Sayonara bitches.” He took the wine glass with him. Bros wobbling as if those ankles arent gonna snap within the next five seconds.
“Dude!”
“Someones on a diet,” rocket muttered.
“would that still count skate?”
Skate turns to sword, “whaddya mean?”
“Does this still mean coil has to drag his team down tomorrow?”
skate hummed. “MhhhhhhHhHHHH- Im… not sure… “
“He did show up.”
“Then ditched..”
“Id say he made a right choice tbh.”
“the phuck are you impling slingshot?”
“Y’know when someone gets hurt they’d avoid making the same mistake?” Coil nods, not liking where this is going. “steampunk learned a lesson on going a date with you.”
“Okay, It wasnt that bad…”
Rocket can sensor fakeness like yoda from miles away. “How bad was it guys?”
(fakeness is not a word??)
“Imma send you a link soon.” Boombox promised rocket, gaining a whistle from him.
Something heavy fell from at least one story high.
Worry not reader (or fuck you reader), the sound of heels tapping against the wooden floor came back. Coil was the most hyped to see steampunk returning for god knows why.
“nevermind i’ll take the front door.”
Oh
“i dunno about yall,” coil stood up. “But im not sticking around.”
Skate just wants this to be over “oh my gwadd Bro! bro does not want you! Let that torta go.”
“Nah dude. If I got the chance to take him on a date, i can do it again!” And there does the flea bag.
As the doors leading to the inside closed, the group continued their small talk.
Rocket muttered to sword, “in a way, i feel kinda bad for him. “
sword agrees. “I mean, coil most likely means well-“
“Oh no, im talking about steam. Even texted me if it was even worth coming here.” That text was sent 30 minutes ago. When steam was in pjs.
Phun phact: steam texted rocket if he was still awake to continue grinding on minceraft but thats when he was told about the group hang about.
Shittt do i rlly gotta go
can i just say im sick or something
if im here go ur coming too
btw trust. trust me its cool here
mannn
is is rlly that worth it
nahh i aint going
have fun tho
dont make me egg your windows
That sure gave him some motivation.
But rocket can feel his fone buzzing, possibly steam spamming him with random shit bc of today.
Desert came around and the chatter about whos paying the bill came up again.
“It just might be boombox,” slingshot said with a smug look. “He lost the challenge after all..”
The musician grumbled as he swallowed his cake. Then he slowed down the pace and “analysed” the pastry. It has a familiar… taste.
“Wait. Sling try this cake.”
Slingshot used a napkin to clean his spoon then scooped out a part of the cake. He brought the sugar bread to his mouth.
“Yea, its good. What else do you want me so say?”
“does it not taste like the cakes you sell-“
“Hol’ up,” skate stole one piece of the cake and gave it to rocket.
Rocket sliced a large chuck woth frosting and jam, then gave it to sword. Unlike everyone else, sword ate the entire thing. Leaving only crumbs for boombox.
T-T
“Mmm. Yeap!” For someone related to the Swords, Sword doesn’t know it’s rude to eat with your mouth open. Thankfully he swallows the cake down before adding, “It has a familiar taste to Sling’s cakes.”
“Pff! Whadya know?! We got a triple whammy.” Shuri says.
“Wouldve been better if there werent any whammies.”
“Or no whammies.”
“No whamies?!”
“An inside joke you’ll never get.” Skate told rocket.
“Shuiriken i dunno if you should be talking because your literal dessert is just bread coated in syrup.” Boombox stabs the bread with his plastic knife. “Thats a quaduple whammy. Getting bread over a sugary pastry is a sin in some places.”
“Is one of those places your stomach?”
“Its not a place, sword,” rocket muttered. “Its an entire ecosystem.”
“All in all,” skate spoke out loud. “We can all agree boombox is paying the bill, right?”
“Wowww.. i made yall themes and this is how i get repaid?”
“i mean… you can stay here and do the dishes,” sling suggested.
And speaking of the bill, here comes the waiter with the bill. Politely telling them to wrap it up as it’s five minutes till closing time.
The bill was passed around like theyre playing hot potato, all agruing who would pay the bill.
sword, rocket, shuri and say boombox but skate, and sling digress. Then someone threw their pathetic excuse of a desert at sword. Rocket threw a handful his mushed carrot cake to boombox. Then as a revenge of attacking his bro skate took the rest of the cake and chucked it at rockets goggles.
Shuri wanted to join in so he jumped onto the table and knocked both of them down.
“SOFTH! Lemme join in too!” Boombox snatched skate’s tres leches and dumprd it over them before joining the food fight.
Sword dove in to break up the fight but they only drag him down with him, getting bread stuck on his sunday best. Bits of pastry was flung everywhere and even over the building, landing some on a random homeless who probably thought the gods have heard his cries.
Sling ate his cake as he took out his phone and checked his balance. It was more than enough to cover the entire bill so he paid for it. He’s predicting that someone is gonna be thrown over the ledge and a shard from a plate is gonna be used as a knife.
He checks the time then steps away from the table, deciding that it was getting a bit chilly for his liking.