Work Text:
"You know, there are 5,000 better ways we could have done this." Shang Qinghua says as he settles into his office desk chair, "For one, we could just, I don't know. Run off while we have the chance."
Shen Yuan levels him with a look, straightening his notes as he calls out to the System with a snap of his fingers. Shang Qinghua rolls his eyes, but calls his as well. And soon, the two of them are sitting in Shang Qinghua's ( locked ) office with twin transparent screens hovering next to them.
Shen Yuan clears his throat and taps his finger on the desk, pulling up the first slide he'd prepared on his own System screen.
"To begin this meeting," He starts, and Shang Qinghua groans, "Just so we're both clear here, we're talking about possible plans to stop Luo Binghe from slaughtering us and everyone else when he eventually climbs out of the Abyss."
Shang Qinghua waves his hand, "More like killing you specifically, but yes, yes. Let's go."
Another tap, and Shen Yuan's first idea came into view.
It took Shang Qinghua all of five seconds to skim over it, and then his eyes caught Shen Yuan's, "Ok but like, he's totally going to notice it's not you like immediately. "
"The doppelganger will be ~identical~ to me. It will have all of my memories, feelings, thoughts, and--"
"Then yeah, it'll almost certainly go rogue. You don't want to die, why would the doppel not come to the same conclusion."
"Maybe..." Shen Yuan starts, but Shang Qinghua cuts him off with a very rude, "Next!" and proceeds to bring up his own first suggestion.
Shen Yuan wants to sink into the floor immediately upon reading the title.
With a flourish, Shang Qinghua gestures to the screen, “Ok, bro. Hear me out. We find another novel. We trick the system into thinking we’re like, obsessed with it. And then we ‘die’ again, accidentally. It’ll have to send us somewhere else - and what did it do last time?” He raises an eyebrow, expectant.
Shen Yuan just looks at him, dumbfounded. “We’d just die.”
Shang Qinghua brings his hands together on his desk top, leaning forward as if contemplating this, “But what if we don’t ?”
“Right.” Shen Yuan says, “Next.”
“One, I have no idea where we’d be able to find [REDACTED]. Two, and I cannot stress this enough, there is no way you’re becoming the protagonist, bro. That’s not going to happen, give it up.”
“But if we could find it,” Shen Yuan says.
“He’d just be Luo Binghe in your body. 10/10 chance the protagonist halo would just follow him into your body.”
“But then I’d live, right? He wouldn’t kill his own body.”
“For like, what, a few days until he finds a way to reverse it. Then he’ll just continue on as planned, probably twice as pissed as before.”
Shen Yuan can practically feel his blood pressure rising as he reads the next slide.
“What would that even do ?” He asks, and Shang Qinghua steeples his fingers, looking very much like he’s about to sell him something that’ll break within 2 days of buying it.
“Who does Luo Binghe trust? Hm?” He says, “Himself. So if I convince him I’m him and tell him that killing you leads to his inevitable ruin? We’re golden.”
Shen Yuan sighs internally.
“You look nothing like him.”
Shang Qinghua nods, “A small obstacle, really.”
“Right.”
Shang Qinghua takes longer than usual to read through the next slide, his face gradually falling into a slight frown.
“Are you trying to get yourself tortured and killed? This just sounds like a dream scenario for him.”
Shen Yuan scoffs, “It could --”
“No.” Shang Qinghua taps to the next slide.
Clapping his hands together, Shang Qinghua tilts his head toward his last slide, fake cheerfulness in his voice, “Endless Abyss!” He says, “Luo Binghe comes back and you throw yourself in. He won’t want to go through all of that again, maybe he’ll just give up.”
“I see,” Shen Yuan says, “You’re not taking this seriously.”
Shang Qinghua laughs, “I didn’t say you had to stay in the Abyss. We could like, find a way to instantly transport you out after he gives up.”
“That would still require me to, oh, I don’t know. Survive in the Abyss for an undetermined period of time.”
Shang Qinghua waves dismissively, “You could do it.”
When Shen Yuan doesn’t argue or move to pull up another slide, Shang Qinghua sighs.
“Any other ideas?”
“No.”
Shang Qinghua nods consideringly, leans back in his chair, and says, “So the isekai idea--”
“Airplane, I swear-- ”
