Chapter Text
He had to play it cool. Make everyone believe that he too was amused by the situation. At least the machine breaking out had been a great comic relief, coming out from backstage just in time to save him from explaining his heartbeat response to the question.
Are you falling in love with me was an insane question. It was so fanservice-like that it had him almost scoffing at their staff when they suggested it. Gemini had gotten out of it easily: he was not, and the lie detector machine confirmed it. But then Fourth had answered the same way, and it had contradicted him, which confirmed that he was lying. Well, as much confirmation as a $10 toy could give.
Damn machine, he was happy he had broken it. It deserved to be destroyed. Especially since it had put him in a dangerous position, even if only for a moment. What if he had not slammed it against the table hard enough for it to fly away and make everyone break into laughter? What if Gemini had looked at him in the eyes right then and asked him if he was serious? What if he had succumbed and told him that it was true and that he was, in fact, falling in love with him? No, wrong. He had already fallen in love.
Maybe that was why his answer had been detected as a lie. The irony of it almost made him break into giggles. It probably was not funny, he should be crying instead, because Gemini’s answer had been the truth and his had been a lie. He was already in love, while his best friend was not even beginning to feel anything other than friendship for him.
He actually let out a giggle this time.
“What is it?” Gemini asked with a hint of a smile in his voice. They both were seated in a small room that acted as dressing room, right after cleaning their faces and changing clothes.
Fourth looked to his right, where the other man remained, and shook his head. “Just thought about today being amusing”
The smile on the taller boy only increased after hearing him. “Right? I gotta say I didn’t have too much hope for this shooting, I just think that lie detector thing is very dumb. But I ended up laughing a lot. Thanks to you”
Fourth’s smile trembled for only a second.
“Me?”
“Yeah! Your answer getting detected as a lie was hilarious. I bet almost everyone is gonna be able to recognize it was because of how anxious the possible electroshock got you, but for a lot of people, it’s gonna be the closest to a love confession they’re gonna get. Our managers are gonna be delighted”
So Gemini did think it was a machine error, good. Good. Good.
“Right,” he tried to shrug off the bad sensation off his shoulders by stretching his neck. “You were very cool all the time, didn’t you?”
Gemini laughed softly, yet still showcasing the cute teeth that Fourth loved to watch. “Well, I knew the shock wasn’t going to be strong”
“It was! It stung me really bad, I’m telling you, I still feel my palm tingle,” he exclaimed loudly to make the point.
“It hit me too when we were practicing, and it wasn’t. You’re just a baby”
Fourth admired as Gemini smiled teasingly at him and then returned his attention to the cellphone in his hand. He just kept staring at him for an extra second or two—the limit of what he allowed himself. And even when he looked away, he got stuck with the last word on a loop inside his head. Baby . Oh, to be called baby by the boy he was in love with. He was willing to act as scared as he could if only Gemini called him baby afterward, though if he said it with an endearing tone, it would be a bit nicer.
And maybe it was an effect of their conversation or of his own dreamy thoughts, but he found himself asking a dumb question.
“So you really aren’t falling in love with me?”
Gemini turned to look at him as if he had thrown the joke of the century. And just like that, Fourth already got his answer even before his friend opened his mouth.
“I’m not falling in love with you”
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Fourth knew that Gemini was oblivious. He knew it for sure, his friend was the most oblivious man he had ever known. The guy was hard on the head, because how could someone not realize when somebody is hitting on you? Especially when they did it the way Fourth did.
During the whole My Love Mix Up recordings he had tried hard to flirt with him, even if that implied making a fool of himself. The failed kisses, the back hugs, and calling him by his name instead of his character’s. Fourth thought he had done great if the redness in Gemini’s face could showcase anything. But then the other boy would laugh it off and even joke about it in front of the camera for the behind-the-scenes content. Fourth even got to talk about Gemini’s lips more than once, getting into detail about how he had discovered that his friend’s lips were not only thin, but also soft. That should have done the trick, he thought. How obvious could he get? But no, it was not enough.
He even got scared at a moment, when P’Au’s and some other staff began giving him a different type of stare when he was next to his co-star. They most probably figured something was off, or at least different from before. The frightening sensation lasted a short time though, since shortly he started to receive even more hugs from them, as if getting some reassurance. And it felt like it, really. He did not know how much he needed it until he got it.
So his attempts were not futile, they were actual flirting methods. The problem was not his technique, it was Gemini. And that made the situation even worse. Fourth knew that Gem was the kind of dude who would probably not even wonder if someone liked them until they personally confessed, and even then he would voice out doubts. It was not because he was insecure, he was just that oblivious. So Fourth needed to do something else.
He thought that the lying detector, though it almost confessed in his place, would have some kind of effect on Gemini. At least a tiny one, just enough to spark the benefit of doubt in his mind. But it did not. So even if at the moment Fourth had been angry at the machine because it almost betrayed him, now he was mad at it again because it failed to get the job done. If it was going to get his most precious secret out of him like that, at least make it count, will you?
And now he does not have any other plan to continue his flirting. The recordings were over months ago, the promotions were almost at the end as well, and they would have a little recess with no series for a while, at least some months more. He knew they were going to continue seeing each other during that time; after all, they were best friends, but it was not going to be the same. Firstly, he would not have excuses to try to kiss him or even stare at him without being too obvious. Yes, he did want Gemini to know about his feelings at some point, but not before the guy began having feelings for him as well. It was all part of his plan. He would only confess once he was sure it was mutual or that he, at least, stood a chance. It was a reassurance for him, a safe bet. If he’d try to change things between them, he would do it only if he was sure there was a chance. He could not risk their friendship if there was none.
Fourth thought about inviting him over, as they usually do, but he did not feel in the mood. He was moping, alright, and he was in all his rights. Gemini could get him on his nerves with his ‘taking everything as a joke’ attitude sometimes. It was not like he did not want to see him, he always wanted to see him more than anything. He loved being with him so much that he was afraid he was addicted to his presence. Times like this only made him wonder whether Gemini ever felt that way about him as well.
To be in Gemini’s thoughts as recurrently as Gemini was in Fourth’s. What a dream.
Suddenly, his eyes were watery. Even in the comfort and privacy of his own house and room, he felt ashamed and in need of hiding them. Get away, tears, you were never invited. But they continued to fall, even if he hurried to dry them with the back of his hands over and over again.
“Shit, what am I doing,” he muttered to himself. Right after speaking, he felt his throat closing up. It was so sudden it hurt, and he squeezed his eyes shut. “Stop, stop, stop, you stupid”
It did not stop. He turned into a ball on top of his bed and cried for a few minutes, as quietly as if someone were about to open the door and reprimand him for being such a crybaby. Even though he was all alone, he did not allow himself to make any sound. It embarrassed him. That thought made him remember one time he had broken up in tears during a particularly hard scene in one of their series. Fourth had felt so overwhelmed after having delivered his lines wrong that he had excused himself to the bathroom to silently cry. And even though he had even bitten on his sweater to prevent any sound from coming out, Gemini had sensed it and almost begged for him to open the door. Then he asked him to never repress his emotions like that. Well, sorry, Gemini. Even though he promised not to, he was doing it again. He had never actually stopped doing it.
The thought made him sniffle. And the sound made him get mad at himself. He was not supposed to be crying. It was his free day, and he was not even sad. He was just… frustrated. But that was no valid reason for him to cry. Everyone gets frustrated sometimes. He bet a lot of people felt frustrated because their loved ones did not love them back. Damn that phrase. It made him bite his lower lip to prevent a sob.
He did not realize when he fell asleep, nor did he know what time it was. It could have been the next day already, as much as it could have been midday. The only thing he did know was that the last thought he had before going unconscious was how much he would like to be the last thought Gemini had before falling asleep.
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He woke up to his cell phone ringing. While he stretched his limbs, he took the room in. The sun was slowly making its way down, but its light was still very warm. It was probably around 5 in the afternoon. So he really must have fallen asleep in the early morning, huh. His attention returned to the device as it continued to ring, seemingly louder now that he was wide awake.
“Hello?” He mumbled to the phone without having looked at the contact name.
“Did I wake you up? You sound half asleep,” Gemini’s soft giggles reached his side of the line. The bell-like sound made his stomach do a flip.
“Yeah, I was up till quite late last night,” he answered, rubbing his left eye with the back of his hand.
“Getting the best out of our free days, aren’t you,” the other guy laughed again. Fourth felt himself smile. “I was calling to ask if you wanted to come over and watch a movie. I found a new SCI-FI I really want to see. We can order pizza”
If Fourth’s cheeks burned pink at the offer, he was the only one who would know. He loved that so much about them—the constant want to be together. Even in their free days, when they could perfectly spend time with other friends or family, they just fell into the habit of being with each other. It was bad for Fourth’s heart, for sure, but he would still not change it for anything.
“Sure, I’ll be there,” he answered, kind of breathy.
“Great. I’ll order it right away. See ya”
“See you”
He hung up and immediately rushed to the shower. A quick shower, simple clothes, his phone and keys and he was out. He opted for calling a cab instead of driving there, since he was still a bit drowsy. All the way there, he was not able to erase the smile from his face. Who would have thought that after all that crying last night, he would be spending the late afternoon with his crush? He preferred to shake off the chilling sensation of remembering all his overthinking the night before.
Once he arrived, he jogged to the entrance and rang the bell. At the sight behind the door, he felt the smile on his own lips become softer. Gemini was barefaced, Fourth’s favorite look in him; he was dressed as simply as him; and the look in his face was so carefree, as if he had no preoccupation in the world, that he felt himself relax at the moment.
“Took you long enough, I even made the popcorn already,” was Gemini’s way of greeting while walking inside, so Fourth could follow.
“Had to take a shower. I was literally asleep, remember,” he answered, following close behind after removing his shoes.
“What, like from last night? I thought you were just taking a nap.” Gemini’s eyes grew up in slight concern.
“Nah, I was completely passed out”
They sat down on the living room’s large couch, and Fourth reached for the popcorn bowl.
“So you haven’t had any food?” Gemini asked.
Fourth looked at him as he himself realized that he hadn’t. He shook his head as he bit on a handful of the soft sweets. Gemini sighed deeply and disappeared into the kitchen.
When he came back, a plate of steaming rice and stew in his hands, Fourth realized something. He was such a lucky guy. Who else could get that privileged treatment from Gemini? As far as he was concerned, no one. Maybe for some of his other friends he would still get preoccupied, but he would most probably command them to order something else or lend them his kitchen; he had seen him do it. But instead, he got a whole preheated meal directly from the man himself. Life was good.
“Thank you,” he said, smiling as he received the plate.
“Eat it before the pizza. And no more popcorn for you after 15 minutes from it,” the taller boy warned.
Fourth scoffed and began to eat eagerly, savoring every bite before turning around and looking at his friend seated at his right. He was a lucky guy, wasn’t he? Being invited over, being served delicious food (even a proper meal), watching movies with him, and being allowed to treat this house as his own home (literally). He wanted to keep all that caring and acts of service for himself. A selfish thought, sure, but still. If he was a favored guy now, he wanted to remain like that forever.
Maybe if he tried a little bit… He felt his chest tighten and immediately loosen. It was scary but exciting at the same time. To try . To give his all and jump into the water, hoping he would not drown. Hoping that Gemini would jump to help him stay afloat.
His deepest motivation to finally take the step was that Gemini was worth it. He was worth the effort, despite all the probably embarrassing moments he was going to have to face. And the boy deserved to be well treated, to be taken care of in the same way he took care of Fourth and his loved ones. If flirting with him was the cost for Gemini to be even more showered in love and appreciation, then Fourth was more than willing to do it. Oh, God, of course he would do it. He would do anything for him to realize how much loved he was.
He turned back to the TV with a slight smirk. His free days were about to turn out to be very exciting.