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Fighting with each other wasn’t too out of the ordinary for the Dream team. They had been friends since they were tiny, of course there was bound to be squabbles and even sometimes massive fights. They would always figure it out though. They were best friends. It’s what they do.
Dream still remembers when he and Sapnap had gotten into a huge fight a little before the server started. It was over something stupid, sure, but it felt like such a big deal at the time. He was so sure that Sap would never have forgiven him, yet they got past it.
This time felt different though. His two best friends in front of him, one of them more than that, both of their faces filled with hatred. This time just felt so real.
“Say you hate me!” But he didn’t. He had never once hated George, nor Sapnap. He didn’t care about a single person as much as he cared about them two. He would have taken on armies singlehanded in order to protect them both. He loved them like brothers.
This only proved to Dream that they didn’t see it the same way. They had only proved to him that he wasn’t worth that much to them. And that hurt. But Dream was used to hurting. He was used to being disappointed.
He had stormed away from the castle after he had recrowned Eret. He was eager to get out of there after that had happened. As much as he didn’t want to care, he couldn’t stop hot tears from pricking the corners of his eyes under his mask.
The feeling of his two friends betraying him though wasn’t just something he could wish away. It hurt him. It hurt him worse than he could imagine. He tried to push away those feelings, but they kept coming back over him.
He concealed his tearing heart while he was still around people. He couldn’t let them know they hurt him. It was dangerous. Emotions were dangerous.
The second he had gotten out of there though, he could stop tears from slipping down his face. He couldn’t stop the soft sobs as they trickled out of his mouth. He was far enough away from the mainland now that he could sit. He let his back hit against a big tree. He slid down into a sitting position with his hands around his face.
He tried to control his breathing, but it quickly turned into heaving. Tears slid down his face faster than Dream could think. He hadn’t cried like this in so long. He hadn’t cried in general in so long. His breath caught in his throat and he held back a gag.
He was better than this. He hadn’t lost it when Tommy tried to burn Spirit. He hadn’t lost it when Puffy started caring more about Tommy than him. He hadn’t lost it at any point up to this. He was stronger than this.
He hadn’t lost it when someone he considered his mother had basically disowned him to take the side of a boy she hardly knew. He didn’t lose it when she basically told him he was worthless. Fuck her.
That didn’t stop his heart from feeling like it was being torn out of his chest. It felt like someone had hacked into his chest with an axe and ripped his heart from his body.
His body felt strained. His armor suddenly felt too tight for him. He felt constricted behind all the extra layers on him. He wanted to claw his armor off of his body. He couldn’t. It was too dangerous. It was too dangerous.
If he took his armor off he is going to get murdered. He was going to get attacked. Someone was going to drive a sword through his stomach and laugh over his dead body. They would mock his bleeding broken body as they stabbed through his heart. His already torn heart.
He didn’t know where he was. He realized fter a moment. He didn’t know where his feet had carried him. He just wanted away.
Dream felt panic rising within him beside the heartbreak. The overwhelming feeling of these emotions made his head and stomach swirl in pain. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t breathe at all.
He reached his hand up to his throat and tried to massage his hand over it. He rubbed into his throat, trying to bring his breathing back to normal. Fuck, he needed out.
He tried to think of all the breathing techniques he had learned over the years. The techniques that in the far past had pulled him out of panic attacks like this.
Ones that were taught to him by Bad. Bad hated him. He tried to suck in a breath. He couldn’t. Memories washed over him and he couldn’t think any more.
“Dream,” Bad’s voice was soft in his ear, “You gotta breathe kid.”
Him and Sapnap had been sparring together when Dream had accidentally hit him too hard. Sapnap had screamed. Dream had drawn blood. Dream didn’t know what had happened after that.
All he knew was that he couldn’t breathe. He knew that he was crying.
He had hurt his best friend. What if he had killed him?
Hands were on him soon after that. He was pull protectively into the hands of Bad. The man he saw as a father.
“Breathe with me Dreamie,” The man ran a hand in circles over his chest, urging him to breathe, “In and out.” Dream followed the man’s exaggerated breaths.
Bad had eventually calmed him down.
Dream looked up as he heard soft footsteps approaching. He saw Sapnap walking towards him slowly, a sad look on his face. Sapnap sat back down in front of him. The boy jumped forward and wrapped him in a hug.
Dream hugged him back, whispering small apologies. They had sat there until George had run outside and jumped onto them both trying to hug them as well. Telling them that they were idiots.
It was comfortable. A bit worrying at the beginning, but it was comfortable. He had the people that he needed. He had them.
He didn’t anymore.
He was still panicking, back against a tree. He couldn’t breathe. He was trapped behind layers of armor he was too scared to take off. He felt sick. He was going to die. He felt like he was going to die.
Dream reached a hand to his chest, gripping at the chest plate over it. He tried to control his own breathing. He couldn’t.
As if things couldn’t get any worse, Dream heard footsteps approaching him. He couldn’t get his body to move away. He internally cursed himself for all of this. He had to be better. He couldn’t move.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Dream wanted to crawl into a hole and have all three of his lives stripped away from him and never see the light of day ever again.
“Dream?” He flinched back at the voice. He recognized that voice too well. If XD was ever going to strike him down, he hoped it would be now.
Footsteps got closer and crouched down next to him. “Yo bitch, you good?” Tommy said, with a bit too much concern in his voice for Dream’s liking. Dream tried to open his mouth to respond. All that came out was a pained gasp.
“Dream, what the fuck is going on,” Tommy muttered reaching out to touch his arm. Dream pulled back, hitting his elbow against the tree hard. He cursed through his teeth. “Shit man,” Tommy muttered.
Dream wanted to die. He still couldn’t breathe right. He couldn’t move. His eyes wouldn’t focus. And Tommy of all people was here to witness it all.
“You’re not breathing,” Tommy hummed and Dream resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Thanks captain obvious. “Breathe,” Tommy instructed him, reaching to his chest. Dream resisted the urge to slap his hands away, but he would rather be able to breathe again. Tommy carefully helped him pull his chest plate off.
Pulling the metal over Dream’s head was a bit of a struggle, but they did it. The second the chestplate was off Dream was reaching up to move his hand over his chest. He rubbed small circles over it, urging himself to breathe.
He took slow deep breaths as much as he could. The panic would appear every once and a while, but he would try to push it back. Tommy sat there in front of him looking slightly concerned. Dream tried to ignore him, focusing on himself.
“You want the rest of this off?” Tommy asked him softly, guestering at his armor.
He’s going to kill you.
“Yea,” Dream hummed, against his better judgment. Tommy nodded slowly and moved forward to help Dream unclasp his armor. Dream, now more aware and able to move, pulled himself away from the tree a little bit.
With shaky hands, Dream helped Tommy take off the rest of his armor. The teen was very wary, Dream could tell.
The constricted feeling that he had was slowly leaving him as each piece was removed. Eventually he and Tommy had gotten all of the armor off of him and in a neat pile beside them. Dream cringed at his sweaty undershirt and cargo pants.
He cursed himself again for wearing so much shit and pulled the long sleeve forest green shirt off of himself, leaving him in a black tank top. He sucked in deep breaths, a hand rubbing over his chest.
“You have a lot of scars,” Tommy commented, and Dream cracked an eye open. Oh yeah, his arms. They have been through it over the years. Burn scars from the nether, fighting scars, and then just stupid things as well.
“Yeah,” Dream chuckled lightly, pushing his mask slightly, allowing himself even more air. Tommy huffed slightly.
“They’re pretty badass,” He smiled and Dream smiled back.
“Thanks.”
Tommy hesitated for a moment then spoke again.
“Dream, what happened?” The blond asked carefully. Dream frowned and looked away from him.
There was silence between them for a moment then Dream answered.
“I had a fight,” He sighed, “With Sapnap and George.” Dream paused. “I don’t think we’re going to be coming back this time.”
“Bullshit,” Tommy said immediately. Dream gave him a look.
“Tommy, it was bad.”
The blond scoffed, “I’m sure it was, either way, you guys are inseparable,” Tommy kept going, “It’s going to take a little more than a fight to break you up. Y’all will get through it, trust me.”
Dream smiled at the kid in front of him and was about to respond when Tommy cut him off.
“I’ve had my fair share of fights with Tubbo,” the younger said softly, “we always get through it. So will you.” Dream nodded his head.
Dream had seen Tommy and Tubbo get into countless amounts of fights. Most of them were Tommy’s fault, but regardless, they had been bad. As much as they fought and seemed like things would never be okay again, they always somehow came out together.
“But you and Tubbo, y’all are different..” Dream trailed off trying to explain his thought process. He didn’t know how to say it. Tommy and Tubbo were just something special. They couldn’t not be friends. They were inseparable. They were-
“And you, Sapnap, and George aren’t? Y’all are the Dream team man, cmon. The big three.”
Dream sighed softly, smiling. Maybe Tommy was right. Maybe things would be okay. Dream turned to the blond beside him.
He wished that things could be fixed with the snap of his fingers. They couldn’t though.
“Thanks Tommy.”
“No problem, bitch.”