Chapter Text
Everywhere hurts.
It feels wrong.
He hates his body. His weakness. They way ███ looks at him, malicious gleam in ██ eyes.
He struggles with the broom. It’s made for an adult, heavier and taller than ███. He’s leaning over to sweep under the bed when it happens.
It is-
Indescribable.
Like all the oxygen disappearing from the world.
Like the ground vanishing. Being free fall in a wide void. But is he falling or floating or spinning? He can’t tell. Nothing is tethering him.
It’s gone. It’s gone. It’s gone. It’s gone.
He’s gone. He’s gone. He’s gone.
ERROR MISASSIGNED MEMORY PACKET0234 REBOOTING
----------
Shen Yuan jerked awake, but his body was too heavy to even twitch. He couldn’t remember why his heart was racing.
He heard the sound of a door.
“Is he alive?” It was shizun’s voice.
“Yes.”
“Good, then I can kill him.”
“That seems like a waste,” Mu Qingfang sounded amused, “considering the immense effort you poured into saving his life.”
“Sunk cost analysis implies a hope for future benefits. You’re entirely too hopeful if you think that stupid child will stay out of trouble long enough to not be a drain on our resources. No - I simply need him awake and aware when I smack his head from his shoulders. He doesn’t get to slip away peacefully!”
“Qinqqiu-shidi, don’t you think-”
“I don’t want to hear anything from you! He is my student and none of your concern, Zhangmen-shixiong!”
“Shen Qingqiu! You go too far!” Oh. Liu Qingge was here too. The hallway must be very cramped.
He opened his eyes just the tiniest bit, peering through his lashes. His head was throbbing in time with his pulse, in his temples and behind his eyes, as if the veins there had gone super saiyan. His mouth tasted like... Something bad. His brain was too sluggish to think of what. And it was so dry all the way down his throat, like he’d been swallowing sand for hours.
“A-Yuan?” Luo Binghe’s voice was close. It sounded muffled, as if he had a cold. Shen Yuan managed to open his eyes just a little more and force his head to tilt despite the pain that lanced his temples.
Binghe... Sigh. Leave it to the protagonist to still somehow look cute with cheeks and eyes and nose reddened by crying. If it were anyone else, Shen Yuan was sure they’d be a puffy mess, but Luo Binghe somehow made it look like he was just dabbling in byojaku makeup.
Shen Yuan’s hand reached out on its own. His arm shook with the strain, and his hand bapped into his rider’s face more like a slap than the tender attempt to thumb away a tear. Why did that happen so much?
“Hm?” Shen Yuan lurched, his body biting back in protest. But! His hand! Claws in place of nails! HE’D JABBED THE PROTAGONIST’S GOLDEN FACE!!
Was there a crime worse in this world?! He tried to smooth the drop of blood under a clawtip away, but his fingers had random spurts of scales now, and he just smeared it unevenly around like a bloody tear.
He pulled back, afraid of making it worse, but Luo Binghe caught his wrist.
The loose Qian Cao peek sleeve had fallen down, revealing Shen Yuan’s slender arm. It was still human, but had many more patches of scales of varying density - much less aesthetic and much more patchwork.
“Again,” Luo Binghe hissed, face pressed hard against the back of Shen Yuan’s hand, “I almost lost A-Yuan AGAIN. And I could do NOTHING.”
Uh. Ow. Ow? Owie. Protagonist? You were gripping a little hard there.
“Some things can’t be helped,” Shen Yuan said, because he wasn’t able to say ‘IT WAS THE STUPID FUCKING SYSTEM!!! IT WASN’T YOUR FAULT!’ He’d already tried to mention the possibility of a system hypothetically to Binghe, and had been greeted with the same “----” sentence blocking that had struck Shang Qinghua.
...But SERIOUSLY?!
STEPPING ON A PIECE OF THE ARMOR??
WAS THERE A LAMER WAY TO GET TAKEN OUT?!
Shen Yuan had figured out the demon identity so quickly! But any cool points had been ruthlessly slaughtered!
His tail lashed in agitation.
...
Tail...?
He looked down. The thin blanket yanked further as something shifted under it. Shen Yuan grabbed the edge and lifted.
Yep. That was his dragon tail. Now he was focusing on it, he could feel it had shoved through the top of his pants, forcing the back of the waist down around it in a way that pinched at the base where it connected to his spine. He was happy his robes were long and covered the sight of being half cheeked out.
“Ah, I see you’re awake.” Mu Qingfang said.
Shen Yuan startled, his head wings jerking. He settled quickly, smoothing his expression over.
“This disciple apologizes for all of the trouble,” he said, trying to be subtle in glancing over the healer’s shoulder.
Mu Qingfang smiled.
“You Shizun has returned to Qing Jing for tonight,” he said, correctly catching Shen Yuan’s scoping.
Shen Yuan nodded primly, locking his muscles so he didn’t melt into a relieved puddle.
Murder postponed! Maybe he could take Binghe and run.
“You must be very confused,” Mu Qingfang approached and took Shen Yuan’s wrist, having to lean over Luo Binghe’s head when his rider refused to move away. He seemed used to this.
He felt his pulse for a moment.
“You were poisoned with a demonic poison called ‘Without a Cure’. In humans, it is deadly. In dragons, it is less so. It is disruptive, clogging up channels of qi. Unfortunately, as an imperial cross, you have a stronger dependance and more developed pathways of spiritual veins, so its effect on you is more disruptive than it would be on any other dragon breed.”
Oh, of course! Why did he always win the roulette wheel spins of sh*t prizes?!
“And what are the effects?” Shen Yuan asked, calm. He didn’t bother asking if it had a cure - he remembered this poison! As always it was papapa with the protag! Sigh. Time to slap ‘incurable illness’ back onto his character traits. Even transmigrating into a dragon couldn’t keep him healthy.
“The most pressing worry is how intermittent qi clogs will affect your flight. Because disciple Shen Yuan has already proven to be... delicate... We are not certain how much you will be affected. Most dragons are not hindered often, but we will have to take care to observe all symptoms.”
His brown eyes flicked down to Shen Yuan’s tail. It was hard to miss. It was relatively huge - not the full dragon size of course, but nothing wimpy either. Shen Yuan bet it would drag the floor if he let it. It also felt incredibly weird where it was attached.
“As you can see, your transformation has become unstable. Teaching you to safely transition between forms has become a pressing priority so you don’t get stuck in... Unfortunate ways.”
Shen Yuan’s brain conjured up ‘unfortunate’ combinations.
... Yes! Please save his dignity! Oh, and his life or whatever.
“So this disciple is allowed to use qi again?” Shen Yuan asked, perking up.
“Only under strict supervision.” Mu Qingfang was stern. “Your Shizun will personally take up your training.”
Thud!
Shen Yuan’s tail accidentally thumped the wall.
“Surely Shizun is much too busy,” Shen Yuan said, the feathers of his wings poofing.
Why bother to save him if you were going to toss him to the slaughter, ah??
“His qi is the most compatable to yours. After sessions he will be able to flush out any forming clogs.”
Shen Yuan fell back against the pillow (unsatisfying as it wasn’t soft). He might as well pretend to be dead now and run away with Binghe to live out his shortened life!
...?! Mu Qingfang - were you laughing at his suffering?!
The healer cleared his throat, sleeve covering his smile.
“Qingqui-Shixiong... Is somewhat different than I...” He said. He seemed like he wanted to say more, then thought better of it after glancing at Luo Binghe. Shen Yuan only untensed when he left the room.
If the healer had said Shen Qingqiu wasn’t bad while in the same room as Binghe, who’d been abused and tormented by him for years, Shen Yuan hadn’t known what he might have done. ...But, at the same time... He really... He really had gone out of his way to save Shen Yuan over and over, and now spent his time ignoring Luo Binghe at worst.
And maybe just a little bit - just kind of a little - Shen Qingqui was a little interesting. As interesting as he was an asshole at least.
It still didn’t mean Shen Yuan wasn’t dreading that sharp green gaze falling on him next.
“Should we run away?” He asked Luo Binghe, a little desperate. Luo Binghe looked at him, and Shen Yuan realized he was still in his angst stage, manly despair of carrying failed responsibility yada yada.
Ah, his silly little lotus.
He was a little shaky and his balance was weird with such a heavy ass, but he reached out and pulled Binghe onto the bed, settling in to reassure for the next few hours.
-------
Replaced. Replaced. Replaced. Hate. Hate. Hate. Betrayed. Replaced. How could you--
Shen Yuan snapped awake, unable to breathe. It was as if his lungs were compressed by the roiling rage in his chest that filled him from tip to toe. His tail trashed, his body following the motion sinuously, claws scraping the ground.
He didn’t know why he was furious. He blinked, looking around for a copy of the PIDW book - the only thing able to make him want to rage against the heavens, but it wasn’t there. In fact - nothing really was there. He was on a vague scape of white featureless ground with enough fog that for a second he wondered if the system had shunted him over into Silent Hill 2. It gave off the vibe of an old gaming system hiding its inability to render distance.
Where...?
Finding no clues, he looked at himself. He was a dragon again. He was gonna ignore the feeling of relief about that, come on brain, he was a human far longer than a lizard! Why did this feel more like ‘home base’ ah??
He felt the tug in his chest of Luo Binghe’s sudden relief, though it was as if sifted through cotton - strangely distant.
“A-Yuan!”
Shen Yuan turned his head around on his long neck to see Luo Binghe running over to him. The protagonist did his usual sticky routine of grabbing the sides of his snout in his hands and looking him over. Shen Yuan accepted it with elegant patience. His rider was at that clingy age where he needed reassurance after all (not that Shen Yuan had been clingy a few years ago when HE was that age! But Binghe was delicate.).
Shen Yuan let his head be hugged and pet, curling his headwings forward around Binghe. After a minute of putting up with the fussing, he nudged him back with his nose.
“Where is this place?” Luo Binghe asked, eyes narrowed.
“The dream realm.” Shen Yuan answered, because what else could it be? Timing wise it made sense. Sha Hualing -> Meng Mo meeting. Better late than never.
Luo Binghe’s brow wrinkled. Shen Yuan barely suppressed the urge to thumb the crease away, remembering he again had paws.
“How do you know?” Luo Binghe asked. Which. Valid. They hadn’t covered such a thing in any classes or books.
“Where else can it be?” Shen Yuan bullshitted. “Unless we have unlocked teleportation, we should still be asleep in Qian Cao.”
Luo Binghe frowned but nodded, looking around.
“It’s so dismal,” he said.
Hm. Yes, it was rather depressing. Shouldn’t the protagonist have more life by this point in the story?
“Rendering distance...” Shen Yuan mumbled to himself.
“Hmm?”
“Nothing, nothing. Let’s explore further.”
They set off into the fog. Shen Yuan expected to see an old riverside town appear, but for some reason they stepped from silent hill and into a void of black.
ERROR ACCESS DENIED FAULTY INSTALLATION ARCHIVAL REMNANT NOT PURGED
The words flashed in bright english text complete with a glitch effect that would have an epileptic crying. There was a pressure in Shen Yuan’s earholes and with a POP suddenly they were spit back out into the fog, squinting in the sudden light.
“What were those strange characters? Some sort of curse?” Luo Binghe asked, posture defensive, scanning and tense.
Peh. Not far off! Stupid system! What did you mean by - by ALL of that??
There was another pressure in his head. The surroundings flickered. Someone with long black hair was sitting hunched over, back to them, forehead pressed against a door. There were claw marks in the wood, and they reached a thin arm up to dig their fingers into the grooves and drag down, the horrible scraping sound not as bad at the sight of their blood soaked fingers--
POP!
Back into the fog.
What the hell?
Since when did Luo Binghe have straight hair as a kid? Weren’t they supposed to be walking through his memories? Who the hell had that been?
“Dream demon, are you having a performance issue?” Shen Yuan asked. The silence felt heavy for a moment and then:
“Your mind is the most bizarre maze this Master has ever come across.”
And there he was, an old wise looking man truly fitting of the name Meng Mo.
“I will take that as a compliment,” Shen Yuan said.
“Don’t.”
💢
“This Shen Yuan humbly greets such a talented dreamscape master.” Shen Yuan said, suppressing his eyelid’s twitch.
“Talented?” Luo Binghe said from his shoulder, looking around at the vast...nothing.
...Okay. Okay fair. Shen Yuan skipped ahead there before Meng Mo displayed any skill at all.
“He got past the anti-demon wards of Cang Qiong Mountain and the sleeping wards of the healing peak. He must be a powerful Master indeed,” Shen Yuan bullshitted again.
“At least your dragon has some sense.” Meng Mo said, stroking his beard. “Too bad his mind is a convoluted mess. What little I can sense feels prone to falling for its own delusions - not fitting to inherit my techniques.”
Excuse me?! Shen Yuan opened his mouth, then turned his head to Binghe. He’d felt a quickly suppressed feeling of... agreement?? Coming from the bond. His rider wasn’t looking at him, was glaring instead at the dream demon.
“Why have you brought us here? We want nothing to do with you or your kind!” Luo Binghe said, avoiding Shen Yuan’s eye.
Ah, such righteousness... And unknowing hypocrisy.
“I wouldn’t be so sure,” Meng Mo’s eyes gleamed. His stare on Luo Binge intensified. The surroundings began to solidify, the fog warping into the shapes and colors of a town Shen Yuan didn’t recognize.
Someone bumped into Shen Yuan’s side, and he turned to be treated to a jumpscare moment. A pale blank slate where features should be on a face. His headwings rustled, the only sign he’d been unsettled, as the man ducked around him. Luo Binghe swiftly grabbed his wrist and pulled him tight against his side (well as much of the long noodle as he could), posture tense.
Shen Yuan reached out and put his large paw over Luo Binghe’s raised fist, lowering it.
“You mustn't fight beings spun from your own mind, it will only damage it.” He said. “The influence of dreams will make your thoughts more blurry and emotional, you will have to stay calm and resist no matter what you see.”
“How does A-Yuan know all of this?” Luo Binghe asked.
...Uhh.
“You can overhear many things at Qian Cao,” Shen Yuan said vaguely, fanning his head wings and then looking out over them.
He could feel a sharp curiosity prickle through the bond, and cleared his throat.
“Focus,” he scolded, nudging his rider with his nose into taking a couple stumbling steps. “Don’t lose yourself to the dream.”
Of course, that was easier said than done.
When they came across the first whump scene of little Bunhe being kicked around as he desperately guarded porridge, Shen Yuan felt the bond grow even fuzzier than before like paints with too much water added, smearing and bleeding out. He couldn’t stop Luo Binghe from getting a hit in and recoiling as the blow lashed through him and then rippled out into Shen Yuan.
The next scene was even worse. Meng Mo!!! When he caught you!!! Actually - AIRPLANE, WHEN HE CAUGHT YOU! Shen Yuan’s stomach hurt watching little Bunhe sob over his mother’s body, and he had a lot of stomach to hurt since he was basically a tube that could fit so much gastrointestinal distress at the moment.
“Binghe! No!” He cried as his rider launched himself at the phantom Ming Fan that had spawned.
Ooooof!
“A-Yuan!”
Ugh, get the number of the truck that hit him. Shen Yuan dropped to the ground with a thump, the wind thoroughly knocked out of him. Aagh, couldn’t this scene have happened in the proper timeline when Binghe was still a small sprout without training and xp gain???
Luo Binghe’s hands were warm as he hauled up Shen Yuan’s large head, patting and stroking it, guilt and horror thick in the bond.
Fury sparked and flared through it like fire in kerosine. “DREAM DEMON, SHOW YOURSELF.” Luo Binghe snarled.
“And who are you to command this master, pup?” The gravelly voice answered.
“What is your purpose? Speak plain.” Luo Binghe’s voice was hard.
Meng Mo glared, then snapped his fingers.
-------
He rippled in disgust, but the deadline was drawing to an end, and unlike some faithless, feckless, false others - he wouldn’t forsake a pact.
It wouldn't have to be physical, there were ways even if it increased risks. It wouldn’t care, it only wanted to feed on his despair and cornered rage. At least it was open about its nature, unlike everyone else.
-------
Shen Yuan snapped awake and threw up.
He thrashed to avoid the splash damage. His head smacked into one wall and his tail smacked into another. Heart racing, he looked down his own body and realized that at some point he’d shifted back into his full dragon shape, more than half of him hanging off the bed. In the now-cramped space his thrash had knocked Binghe’s cot over, and the protagonist lay on the floor like a fallen rose, still deeply asleep.
Shen Yuan suppressed another wave of alarm - Luo Binghe needed to have the conversation with Meng Mo. He was an essential powerup. He couldn’t even remember what the initial alarm had been from. Had there been some sort of nightmare end cap Meng Mo slipped in when he kicked him out...? No need to take out the old man anger on him! Go eat some prunes and yell at clouds!
He eased off the bed carefully, and rolled Luo Binghe over onto his back. Aiyah, why did he look so delicate even when he was finally growing into his adult features? He could put sleeping beauty to shame and steal her title!
He pawed the cot back up, but it was hard to wrangle Luo Binghe up when he wasn’t cleared to let himself float yet. The whole. Quadruped nerf. So he simply HAD to curl up as best he could around him in an awkward curve and pull the Lotus up into the cradle of his body. There wasn’t another option.
He watched Luo Binghe’s lashes twitch and his mouth purse. He raised a paw and then thought better of it.
Eventually Luo Binghe jerked awake - his tailbone digging into Shen Yuan’s tender stomach as he sat up sharply with a gasp. He panted, looking around wildly. The emotions through the bond where a jumbled mess laced with anxiety. He watched Luo Binghe’s starlit pool-black eyes spark in recognition and his shoulders drop in relief. The emotions smoothed and pulled back. Shen Yuan opened his mouth to reprimand, but froze.
Luo Binghe had turned and buried his face in his stomach, wrapping his arms and legs around the stretch of body he’d been placed on.
“Binghe?” He asked, head wings raising. Luo Binghe’s breath was fast and tickled against his tummy scales. Shen Yuan bumped his soft nose against his head, sniffing for injury, trying to feel through the bond Luo Binghe was keeping muffled. A gentle rumbling filled the room, like the purr of a cat trying to help an owner’s injury.
After a few minutes, Luo Binghe lifted his head. The rims of his eyes were red, much to Shen Yuan’s alarm.
“A-Yuan, demons... do you think are they all wicked beyond redemption? Must every last one of them be exterminated?”
Shen Yuan hesitated for a moment, trying to think of what to say. This was a pivotal moment, he could practically see the text above their heads saying ‘This Dialogue Choice Will Have Consequences!’
“Humans and dragons can be good or bad. Sometimes even at once.” Shen Yuan said slowly, the image of the scum villain and his cryptid dragon in his mind. “So naturally, demons should also be able to be bad or good, right?”
Luo Binghe swallowed hard, a shuddery feeling rippling in the bond.
“So you don’t think the heavens would find someone connected to demons intolerable?” He pressed.
Shen Yuan scoffed.
“Why would they exist otherwise?” Shen Yuan said, since he wasn’t allowed to say ‘Intolerable? The readers loved demons almost more than dragons in this dragon rider story!! By the end it was practically a Luo Binghe’s half demon pillar riding story!!’
Luo Binghe’s eyes brightened. He reached out and rubbed Shen Yuan’s nose where it was sensitive and ticklish. Shen Yuan tolerated it for a moment then swatted his hand away with his head wings.
“Get some rest,” he said. Go and tell that old man you’ll accept him as a master - you’re already behind!!
Luo Binghe huffed out a breath, fond.
“You’re the patient,” he reminded. “I’m going to get a healer and ask if your transformation back is within expectation.” He looked around the too-small room Shen Yuan was forced to take up most of. “If so, it appears they forgot to account for it.”
He reached for Shen Yuan’s nose again, unrepentant.
“Perhaps they still think of you as that little dragon that could be carried in a sling...”
Luo Binghe, why were your eyes all misty like a grandfather remembering his first grandchild as a baby?!
Shen Yuan turned his head and gently set his teeth on Luo Binghe’s hand. The brat had the audacity to stroke the roof of his mouth!
Shen Yuan’s feathers bristled all down his spine and he spit Luo Binghe out and folded his headwings in front of his snout, glaring over them.
His little sprout was becoming too spoiled!
----
He was released a couple days later into their Shizun’s...care.
He didn’t want to talk about it.
----
Shen Yuan was NOT jealous of a sword. Because that would be silly. He just thought that the little thread he felt connected to Luo Binghe from the sword spirit to his rider was. Unpleasant. In the way of a fly that kept buzzing around where it wasn’t needed and landing on your skin to tickle in that gross little way.
He was not jealous like the other dragons. Who huffed and puffed and growled and grumbled to each other about their humans post Wan Jian Peak. He didn’t try to snatch Zheng Yang and hide it like Prosperity had done, nor did he try to eat it like Bristle.
If you stare any harder, my son’s ass will combust. Shang Qinghua was at the training grounds on Qing Jing Peak today, the transport of an An Ding surveyor. He made the mistake of being within range of Shen Yuan’s tail.
Eyes gleaming after the little rodent dragon’s yelp, Shen Yuan huffed.
Call him your son again and I’ll pluck every strand of fur on your tail, he said. Then sniffed, nose raising in the air. And I wasn’t looking at his- I was looking at that eyesore hanging down there.
Bro, harsh words for the heavenly pillar--Ow ow ow!
THE SWORD!
They watched as the humans were raised up on the Instructor dragon Petal Dance’s head to his full height and forced to jump off and practice emergency sword landing.
When Bristle couldn’t handle the combined jealousy and charged in to headbutt Petal’s Dance while screeching a war cry, it was like the last piece of straw falling on a camel’s back and making it break. About half the class jumped in, filling the yard with a horrible mixture of noises that masked the sound of Shang Qinghua guffawing as Petal’s dance smacked them all away like 4th graders attacking a highschooler.
Of course, Shen Yuan didn’t partake in such a ridiculous thing. Because he wasn’t jealous. It would be pointless, since in the future, Luo Binghe would- He would-
I’m not even doing anything! Shang Qinghua yelped.
Shen Yuan flicked his headwings.
I was clearing my throat.
With a growl? Aiyah, put that tail down!
---
Shen Yuan lay down and pretended to be dead. He might as well have been. What was the point of a dragon who wasn’t allowed to do the one thing the story was designed around?
“I’m sure A-Yuan will be cleared for flight lessons soon,” Luo-Binghe said, rubbing his head. He’d pulled it into his lap when Shen Yuan had refused to move, looking up at the rest of the class where they were at the top of a steep incline.
Special lessons with Liu Qingge and Shizun... Shen Yuan despaired.
Luo Binghe wrapped his arms around his head to shift it, pressing Shen Yuan’s sensitive snout against the new leather riding straps and filling his nose with his lotus’s pleasant scent.
The riding straps were like training wheels but designed by someone with an S&M fetish. High level cultivators rarely used them, but they were handy for those just learning or for extreme weather.
Shen Yuan thought maybe they should probably be illegal when he saw Luo Binghe walking towards him for the first time wearing them.
As expected of the protagonist! He could make anything look good, but the way the straps highlighted his strong chest and shoulders and other areas felt like it shouldn’t be allowed. Society simply wasn’t ready.
Shen Yuan huffed a sigh against Luo Binghe’s stomach, causing his human to squirm - apparently ticklish.
“We’ll be flying by the Immortal Alliance Conference,” his human soothed after a while.
Shen Yuan closed his eyes.
Abyss
Protect Binghe From The
