Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Direct Messages between Peter the Panda, Perry the Platypus, and Stacy Hirano

Perry: Guess who almost destroyed the time-space continuum today.

Stacy: Dr. D?

Perry: Apparently. I was not actually there for most of it. Or, I was there, but I can’t remember any of it.

Peter: What? Okay. You’re going to explain everything, Perry.

Perry: Well, I went to Dr. D’s like normal today, and I figured he was going to have some big plan, what with it being the last day of summer vacation today.

Peter: Oh, your kids are going back to school tomorrow?

Stacy: Yep. Tomorrow, I go back to the simultaneous boredom and stress that is high school.

Peter: Oh, come on. You’re a smart girl. You can do this.

Stacy: Blech. And Phineas and Ferb will be in school too! I like using their inventions every once in a while to destress, but they never make as many while school is in session.

Perry: If they did, they wouldn’t do nearly so well in school.

Stacy: Do they even need to go to school? They’re already geniuses; what is there to learn?

Perry: They both have their own challenges. Besides, school is a valuable opportunity that they should take advantage of.

Peter: You sound kind of like a dad there, buddy.

Perry: You’ve got a problem with me wanting my boys to reach their full potential?

Peter: Not at all. You just have to admit that it makes you very parental.

Perry: I guess I’m okay with that.

Stacy: Wait! You haven’t told us what happened with Dr. D today!

Perry: I would if you would stop interrupting me.

Peter: All right. What big scheme did Dr. D have?

Perry: He didn’t! At least not this time. He was really frantic and told Vanessa and me that he was going to stop being evil.

Peter: Really?

Stacy: That makes sense. He never seemed very evil to me.

Perry: Well, sure. But apparently he had set off an -inator that made today repeat itself over and over again, and only he and Candace had any idea.

Stacy: I’m sorry, Candace? How was she involved?

Peter: Yeah, I’m going to need more information.

Perry: That’s all that he told me at first. Then we had to make an -inator to stop the days from repeating.

Peter: Well, are the days still repeating? Would you even know if they were? I haven’t noticed doing today over and over again.

Perry: According to Dr. D, the problem has been resolved. Not by him, given that the -inator we made to fix it wasn’t plugged in. I think my boys found a fix. They destroyed the original -inator or something. I didn’t know that at the time; I found out when I came home.

Peter: I’m…confused.

Stacy: Yeah, how were Candace and the boys a part of all this?

Perry: You know how Candace is friends with Vanessa?

Stacy: Yeah, she’s told me about Vanessa.

Perry: Well, apparently she went to Dr. D’s to return something to Vanessa, and activated the -inator that caused the days to repeat. That’s how she was aware of the days repeating, and Dr. D got caught up in it too, somehow.

Peter: Why did that make Dr. D want to stop being evil?

Perry: Vanessa’s been accepted as an O.W.C.A. intern, and apparently that was all it took for Dr. D to leave evil science. After time stopped looping, he explained it all a little better.

Stacy: Can you tell us that part of the explanation. Because I am still very confused.

Perry: Right. Yeah. So apparently Dr. D had been using the time loops to foresee my every move and take over the Tri-State Area. He said that at one point he did successfully take over, but then Vanessa told him about the internship. He decided to stop being evil and then realized time would keep looping forever and that we needed to fix it.

Peter: Wow. Honestly, that sounds like one of his best evil schemes of all time. No one else would notice anything amiss, and he could keep making small changes to try to be more successful.

Perry: Yeah. This is probably the best time he could have possibly decided to give up evil.

Stacy: Hey, Perry, I just thought of something.

Perry: What?

Stacy: Didn’t you and Peter say that you couldn’t let evil scientists into this messaging system?

Perry: Yeah…

Peter: Yes! Stacy, you’re a genius!

Stacy: Could you call my mom and tell her that?

Peter: If I could explain to your mom how her daughter knows a random panda from Seattle without blowing Perry’s cover, I would tell her that you are both a genius and an incredible friend.

Stacy: Aw, thanks, Peter!

Perry: I am so lost. Why is Stacy a genius?

Stacy: Because Dr. D’s not an evil scientist anymore!

Perry: Oh no…

Peter: Oh yes, buddy.

Perry: You know he could change his mind about going good, right?

Peter: Nothing you say is going to convince me that we shouldn’t let Dr. D in.

Stacy: Hooray!

Perry: Why are you so excited to have Dr. D messaging you?

Stacy: He’s kind of sweet, and Peter and I think you should have more friends you talk to outside of work.

Perry: So you’re teaming up against me?

Peter: Yep. There’s no way you’re getting out of this.

Perry: Fine.

Peter: You want to tell him, or should I?

Perry: Don’t you dare tell him.

Peter: If that’s how you feel, then you should tell him now, shouldn’t you?

Perry: All right. I’ll tell him now.

Stacy: Yay!

Direct Messages between Perry the Platypus and Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz

Perry: All right, Dr. D. I’m unblocking you again. You’re not an evil scientist anymore, so you can message me and the others now.

Dr. D: Really? You mean it? You’re not going to kick me out?

Perry: Nope. Peter would have things to say if I blocked you again.

Dr. D: Great! You know, I wasn’t even thinking about that when I decided to stop being evil. I mean, I was so distracted by not losing my baby girl that I didn’t stop to think about the other benefits of being good.

Perry: Well, I guess this is one of them.

Dr. D: Perry the Platypus, am I going to have to go to prison? You know, for my crimes against humanity and everything? Monogram called to say that a court is already going over my case. I don’t want to go to prison, Perry the Platypus. I don’t think I could handle it.

Perry: Honestly, I’m not sure. I’ll see what I can do. I think I could probably suggest something like community service to Monogram. He probably doesn’t want someone as unpredictable as you in O.W.C.A-traz anyway.

Dr. D: You’d do that for me, Perry the Platypus? That’s so sweet. Why?

Perry: Because you’re my friend, and I want you to be happy.

Dr. D: Thank you, Perry the Platypus. You’re a mensch.

Perry: Any time. You should probably tell Peter you’re in, though. He’s going to be on my tail about this otherwise.

Dr. D: Yes, I’ll do that. I’ll include you, so you won’t have to worry about me talking to Peter the Panda alone.

Perry: I'm happy to be a part of the conversation, but you can talk to him without me sometimes too. I know people can have multiple friends.

Dr. D: That’s good, Perry the Platypus. I just thought that since I had tried to replace you with him once, you might still hold a grudge. Although, you two are friends, so I guess that wouldn’t make a lot of sense. Anywho, I’ll talk to him now.

Direct Messages between Peter the Panda, Perry the Platypus, Stacy Hirano and Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz

Dr. D: Hi, Peter the Panda! Perry the Platypus said I can message you guys now!

Peter: Great! I heard you changed sides, and I’d like to offer my personal congratulations.

Stacy: Hey, Dr. D!

Dr. D: Aw, thanks! Perry the Platypus says he’s going to try to keep me out of prison.

Peter: Good for him.

Perry: Monogram just contacted me. He says he’s going to give you a choice, Dr. D. You’ll either go to prison, or be a volunteer high school science teacher. 

Stacy: You know our education system’s going off the rails when they let criminals volunteer to teach students.

Peter: Yeah. That doesn’t seem right. 

Dr. D: Well, I can definitely teach science. I mean, I studied evil science. The two can’t be too different. This is going to be great!

Perry: Good. And honestly, Stacy, Dr. D does know a lot more about science than most people. I don’t think he’d make such a bad teacher.

Stacy: I guess that makes sense.

Dr. D: So, did Perry the Platypus tell you about how we fixed the time stream?

Peter: He did.

Stacy: Do you remember all the repetitions?

Dr. D: Oh yeah. Today felt like it was like a month long. A month of making more and more complicated traps every day.

Peter: Did you really end up taking over the Tri-State Area?

Dr. D: I did. You know, it wasn’t actually as fulfilling as I thought it would be. Vanessa was upset because she wanted to work for O.W.C.A, and I made a law that said Perry the Platypus couldn’t thwart me, which…wasn’t my best idea.

Perry: I couldn’t thwart you? You didn’t talk about that part earlier.

Dr. D: Yeah, well, I forgot what you could remember and what you couldn’t. Besides, you were really sad about that law, and I guess I felt kind of guilty about the whole telling-you-to-go-away thing when I was the tri-governor.

Perry: You told me to go away?

Stacy: That doesn’t sound very nice.

Dr. D: I know. I know. I was evil, though, so I had a reason not to be nice. I thought that if I could take over the Tri-State Area, I would be happy, but I just felt really lonely.

Peter: A hollow victory, huh?

Dr. D: Yeah. Anyways, I’m good now! And apparently I’m going to be a teacher. You know, I should probably figure that out. I have to teach a class tomorrow! What should I teach? Maybe DNA. That’s a pretty basic part of life. Yeah, that’s what I’ll do.

Stacy: Just a word of advice, teens like it when you demonstrate things. Don’t just lecture. Everyone will fall asleep. At least, I fall asleep when I try to listen to a lecture. Make it exciting!

Peter: Don’t know if Perry will agree with you on that, Stace. Good luck, Dr. D!

Dr. D: Thanks, Peter the Panda!

Chapter Text

Direct Messages between Perry the Platypus and Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz

Dr. D: Perry the Platypus, Monobrow just called me again. You were right! I’m going to be a teacher!

Perry: That’s great.

Dr. D: I know, right? And I owe it all to you.

Perry: Hey, Dr. D, did you really tell me to go away when you took over the Tri-State Area?

Dr. D: Well, yeah. I was the tri-governor. It’s not like you could defeat me anymore. I had made myself the good guy, you know. 

Perry: No. That’s different. I’m not asking whether you told me I couldn’t fight you. I’m asking if you made me leave.

Dr. D: Oh. You were making me so sad with your little platypus frown. I didn’t want to have to look at you anymore.

Perry: Right. Sure. Fine.

Dr. D: Perry the Platypus, are you upset? I know you’re usually pretty closed off. You’re like a locked door, really. It's hard to tell how you're feeling most of the time. But did I say something wrong?

Perry: Look, now that you’re good, I’m not going to come over to thwart you anymore. Do you still want me to hang out with you sometimes?

Dr. D: Of course I want you to come around! I mean, you don’t have to if you don’t want to. I’m sure you’ve got a lot of better places to be. Not that I would prefer for you to be in those places. I’m not explaining this very well. My point is that I want to still see you, but I’d understand if you didn’t want to see me.

Perry: How could you think that I wouldn’t want to see you? You’re my friend . And I guess it hurts a little to know that you told me to go away. Even if I don’t remember it. Because I care about you and will always want to spend time with you.

Dr. D: Perry the Platypus? It’s not that I didn’t want to see you ever again; I don’t think I would have been able to stand that. You’re the closest friend I’ve ever had.

Perry: I know. And in a way, I wasn’t even there, so I guess I don’t have any right to be upset about this. 

Dr. D: Look, I know I can be hard to deal with sometimes. I talk too much, and I don’t think before I talk. But telling you to leave was a mistake. The look on your face made me realize how lonely I was being tri-governor, and I didn’t want to think about that. I mean, I had everything I’d been working towards for years, and I wasn’t happy. 

Perry: So instead of figuring out why you were unhappy, you just got rid of anything that reminded you of your unhappiness.

Dr. D: Yeah. It. It sounds really bad when you say it like that. I guess that the good guy thing to do here would be to apologize.

Perry: It wasn’t really me. It was some other version of me that doesn’t exist anymore. You don’t have to apologize.

Dr. D: But I made you upset. I hurt you in the wrong way again. And I don’t even want to hurt you at all anymore. 

Perry: Really. It’s fine. I wasn’t there for all those repeated days. I know you were going through a lot that I can’t really understand.

Dr. D: No. If I’m going to be a good guy, I’m going to do it right. I’m sorry, Perry the Platypus. I shouldn’t have made you leave. You’re my friend, and I need you. I need you so much, Perry the Platypus. You’ve always been there for me, no matter what. You were there for my driving test, and father’s day, and that family reunion, and when I was sick, and every other time I needed to feel like someone in this world cared about me. You do so much for me, and I promise I will never tell you I don’t want you around again.

Perry: What if I come when you’re taking a shower? You won’t tell me to leave you alone then?

Dr. D: Oh come on! You know that’s not what I meant. It was a hyperbole! I mean, not much of a hyperbole; I’m happy to have you around almost any time. But here I am, being really sincere, and you have to get all exact and nit-picky.

Perry: Sorry. I was trying not to cry. I failed miserably, but I had to at least put in an effort.

Dr. D: You’re crying? You never cry! But I was trying to make you feel better! Was my apology not good enough for you? I really meant it, and I tried so hard to make that clear.

Perry: No, your apology was amazing. I’m crying because it was so sweet. Sure you'll complain for hours about every minor inconvenience, but you don’t get that honest about your emotions that often.

Dr. D: Was it really that touching?

Perry: Yeah. I actually can’t stop crying now. It’s a little embarrassing.

Dr. D: Don’t worry Perry the Platypus. Crying is the universal sign of sincerity, you know.

Perry: Oh, yeah. I know.

Dr. D: So, we’re good now?

Perry: Yes, Dr. D. We are definitely good now.

Dr. D: Great! I’m going to finish getting ready for tomorrow. Can you believe I’m going to be a teacher?

Perry: Can you try not to do anything too disruptive? I think I can manage to get a week off from Monogram now that you’re good, but if something dangerous is going on at the school, there’s no way that’s going to happen.

Dr. D: All right. I’ll just show the kids some DNA under the microscope tomorrow. I won’t try to create a new species or anything.

Perry: Was that your original plan?

Dr. D: That Stacy girl told me to avoid lecturing the whole time. I figured creating life would be exciting.

Perry: Yeah, please don’t do that. Looking at something with a microscope sounds good though.

Dr. D: Okay. I hope the kids like me. Do you think they’ll like me? Am I likable enough?

Perry: I like you just fine, Dr. D, and I’m sure you’ll be a great teacher. How about this? If no disaster occurs tomorrow, I’ll come visit you after school. What do you think?

Dr. D: You can count on me, Perry the Platypus.

Perry: Good. See you tomorrow, then.

Direct Messages between Peter the Panda and Perry the Platypus

Peter: So, how long do you think it’ll take before Dr. D makes something explode?

Perry: Don’t even joke about it. I’m not holding out too much hope. I’ll be happy if I get a week without having to deal with a problem.

Peter: A week, huh? Pretty optimistic, aren’t you?

Perry: I like to give people the benefit of the doubt.

Peter: No you don’t.

Perry: Fine. I like pretending that I’ll be able to catch up on sleep in the next few days.

Peter: Hey! Turns out Mystery's got a niece he wants to go visit when she's going back to school, so I'm not gonna have a mission for a while. Want to come to Seattle?

Perry: Just because I want to pretend Dr. D's got everything under control, doesn't mean I feel comfortable leaving town while he's figuring the whole teaching thing out.

Peter: Fine. Fine. What if I came to you? Your kids'll be at school, so the risk of being caught would be a lot lower. I bet Dr. D would even let us hang out at his place.

Perry: Well, I promised him I'd visit him tomorrow if school went well, so I could ask.

Peter: You do that. I'm assuming he'll be cool with it, so I'm planning to come over in two days. Any reason your kids wouldn't go to the second day of school?

Perry: Of course they're going to school! Why would they skip class?

Peter: That’s what I assumed. I just didn't want to make you hang out with me if you were missing spending time with them.

Perry: Oh. Thanks Peter. I don't see any reason why they would stay at home barring a sudden illness.

Peter: Kay. See you in a couple days?

Perry: See you.

Chapter Text

Direct Messages between Peter the Panda and Perry the Platypus

Peter: How’s your day off going?

Perry: Peter, I can’t really talk right now. I’ve got a really bad headache, and it gets worse if I try to read.

Peter: I’m sorry. Let me know when you’re feeling better.

Perry: Yeah, I’ll do that.

Direct Messages between Peter the Panda and Stacy Hirano

Peter: How was your first day of school?

Stacy: Same old, same old. We went over all the boring rules no one’s going to follow anyway.

Peter: Well, sounds like the education system is preparing you for your future job at least. “Boring rules no one’s going to follow anyway” is a monthly meeting for me.

Stacy: I was hoping I could escape it eventually.

Peter: Nope.

Stacy: At least I didn’t get any horrible teachers. Candace is in all my classes too, so that’s nice.

Peter: Cool. It’s always good to have a friend you can study with.

Stacy: Definitely. Candace is really smart, so she’s a good study buddy.

Peter: And she’s going to come with another smart study buddy.

Stacy: What do you mean?

Peter: Knowing Perry, he’s going to pay attention to his kids’ homework. I bet he’d be happy to help you too.

Stacy: Coolness! How is Perry by the way? I’m at the Flynn-Fletcher house right now, and I can’t find him.

Peter: He’s probably hiding somewhere quiet. He said he has a headache.

Stacy: Oh man. This is not a good time for a headache. It’s really loud in here right now.

Peter: Well, hopefully he can get some rest. I want to hang out with him tomorrow, which won’t be fun if he’s not feeling well.

Stacy: Yeah.

Direct Messages between Perry the Platypus and Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz 

Dr. D: You’re not coming over today, are you?

Perry: Dr. D, I know you didn’t mean to turn a student into a lizard-ape mutant. I’m not angry. I would still come over, but I’m not much fun to be around right now. I’m doing a little better than I was earlier, but I still have a pretty awful headache.

Dr. D: Well, you did have a bell fall on top of you. That can’t be good for your hearing. You should try to avoid giant bells falling from the sky.

Perry: You know, I do try to avoid giant bells most of the time, but most of the time I’m not trying to save an emo teenage lizard boy who’s kidnapped your daughter.

Dr. D: OK, you did save Vanessa. And leave your day off to come help me even though you told me not to do anything too destructive. And help get everyone back to the classroom before Principal Lang could see what had happened. You know, he really never got over me marrying Charlene. You’d think that he’d give it up when we got divorced. Anyway, I suppose I should thank you for everything.

Perry: I was happy to help, but did you have to introduce me as a deformed tiny turquoise man?

Dr. D: Animals aren’t allowed in school! If you’re going to help me out sometimes, I can’t let the kids think you’re breaking the rules.

Perry: Fine. I guess that makes sense. I'm going to try to sleep a bit now. Hopefully, that takes care of this headache.

Dr. D: That’s a good idea. Sleep makes almost everything better. Except for when you’re supposed to be awake. You shouldn’t sleep then.

Perry: Thank you so much for that information. 

Dr. D: You’re welcome! Oh, you were being sarcastic weren’t you.

Perry: A little, yeah. Look, it’s not that I don’t want to talk to you; I just feel horrible. I need to find someplace quiet to sleep.

Dr. D: Is your house not quiet? Or apartment, or wherever you live. Where do you live?

Perry: Unimportant. It’s just really loud right now.

Dr. D: You know, I’m just going to be cooking tonight. That doesn’t tend to be super loud. I mean, if I was making smoothies, then I would have to use the blender. That would be loud. But I’m making lasagna. That’s not typically a very loud recipe. You could sleep here if you wanted. You could even have some lasagna. I’m going to have enough to last a week at least.

Perry: You wouldn’t mind? I’m not exaggerating; I’m not going to do much of anything. 

Dr. D: I hope you don’t usually do much while you’re sleeping. That wouldn’t be very restful. After that time I was sleep-inventing, I slept for about fourteen hours in one night. I know that’s how much sleep you’re supposed to get every day, but that’s a lot for a human!

Perry: All right. I’ll come over.

Dr. D: See you soon, Perry the Platypus.

Direct Messages between Peter the Panda and Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz

Peter: Hey, have you seen Perry at all today? He said he had a headache, and I haven’t heard from him since.

Dr. D: Yeah, he’s at my place. His place was loud, so I thought, why not come over here to sleep? I’ll wake him up once the lasagna’s done. Lasagna makes everything better.

Peter: Not going to argue with that. So, did something happen to give Perry a headache?

Dr. D: A giant bell fell on top of him!

Peter: Well that’s…not good. Do you think you could explain what happened?

Dr. D: Well, I woke up this morning and had to figure out what to wear. My normal black shirt didn’t seem quite right for a professional teaching setting, so I found a tie I could wear, but I needed a shirt.

Peter: This is a fascinating look into your morning routine, but could you only explain the events that directly relate to why Perry came over?

Dr. D: Oh! Well, we were looking at DNA, but then the DNA mixed with Vanessa’s ex-boyfriend Johnny’s DNA, and before I knew it, we were dealing with a runaway lizard ape boy.

Peter: You know Perry told you to do something that wasn’t dangerous, right?

Dr. D: I was being careful! I planned everything out so much more than I planned my evil schemes. I don’t know what happened!

Peter: Okay, fine. So Perry got called in?

Dr. D: Exactly. Perry the Platypus came and helped get the kid an antidote. Then he saved Vanessa when she was falling off the bell tower.

Peter: That’s where the bell came in?

Dr. D: That’s exactly right, Peter the Panda. While we were trying to catch Johnny, a bell fell on top of Perry the Platypus!

Peter: That must have been an exciting start to the school year. Other than a headache, is Perry and everyone else okay?

Dr. D: Oh yeah. Everyone’s fine. Perry the Platypus is resting, and I think he’s feeling better now. The lasagna’s done baking, so I should probably go take it out of the oven. I don’t want a repeat of the ravioli incident. Then I’ll see if Perry the Platypus wants some of it.

Peter: Good plan. By the way, if Perry’s feeling up to it tomorrow, can he and I hang out at your place? Then if something happens at the school, he’ll still be in Danville.

Dr. D: That’s fine. Just don’t get into the self-destruct buttons. I still have some uses for those.

Peter: Sounds good. Well, if Perry’s okay, I think I’ll go now. See you Dr. D.

Dr. D: Bye Peter the Panda!

Direct Messages between Peter the Panda and Perry the Platypus

Perry: Hey, sorry about earlier.

Peter: No problem. Dr. D told me what happened. So much for a day off, huh?

Perry: Yeah. My afternoon was actually pretty peaceful at least.

Peter: That’s good. How are you feeling?

Perry: A lot better. Dr. D can be surprisingly good at taking care of people. I guess that’s what makes him a good dad. And he's also a really good cook.

Peter: I'm a little jealous now. By the way, he’s cool with us hanging out tomorrow, if that still sounds fun.

Perry: Yeah. That sounds great. I’m not sure what Dr. D’s planning on teaching, but hopefully, it’s less exciting than DNA.

Peter: I find it amusing that your job hasn’t gotten any easier despite your nemesis actively attempting to be good.

Perry: Amusing’s certainly a positive spin on it. If anything happens tomorrow, you’re helping me.

Peter: Deal. See you tomorrow.

Perry: See you tomorrow.

Chapter Text

Direct Messages between Peter the Panda, Perry the Platypus, and Stacy Hirano

Stacy: Hey guys. I just thought you should know that giant pea plants are taking over the school.

Perry: Today was supposed to be quiet! How does teaching genetics lead to plant takeover?

Peter: This is Dr. D we’re talking about. Anything can happen.

Stacy: So can you guys come and fix this?

Peter: Yep. We’re on our way.

Perry: Wait, where’s Candace?

Stacy: I think she’s trying to find Principal Lang. I can’t tell if she thinks Phineas and Ferb are behind this, or if she just wants to bust whoever is responsible.

Perry: Great. Can you find her and try to keep her away from the chaos? I don’t want to have to worry about my cover while I’m dealing with this.

Peter: We, Perry. We’re dealing with this.

Perry: Fine. I don’t want to have to worry about my cover while we’re dealing with this.

Stacy: On it.

Peter: Thanks, Stace.

Direct Messages between Peter the Panda, Perry the Platypus, and Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz

Perry: OK. What happened this time?

Dr. D: This morning, Principal Lang told me to watch out because he has his eyes on me. You know, he’s really hung up on the whole Charlene thing.

Peter: I don’t think that’s what Perry was talking about.

Dr. D: Oh, you mean the pea plants. Well, I wanted to demonstrate genetics in action, just like Austrian biologist and friar Gregor Mendel, but we couldn’t spend months just studying pea plants; we have a lot to get through this year. So I may have given the pea plants just a little bit of growth serum to speed up the life cycle, and then they may have started growing out of control.

Perry: All right. So we just have to kill these plants, right? Then they’ll stop growing?

Dr. D: Theoretically, yes. In practice, I have no idea.

Perry: Do you ever test any of your inventions before using them on a large scale?

Dr. D: Of course I do! I tested out all the individual parts of the Platyp-inator.

Peter: Is that the one that turned you into a platypus?

Dr. D: Exactly. I didn’t want to turn into a beaver or something. 

Perry: Okay. Fine. Peter, start destroying these plants. I’m going to try to get to Dr. D’s classroom to make sure the students are okay.

Dr. D: Oh, the students are fine. The plants are actually forming a sort of nest around them. It’s a good thing we weren’t studying roses, huh?

Perry: Regardless, it might be most effective to try to destroy the plants at the source.

Peter: Tackle the problem at its roots, eh Perry?

Perry: Fine. You're hilarious. Let’s just deal with this, okay?

Dr. D: I’ll just keep teaching the students. This is a great hands-on experience.

Perry: Great. I’m so glad.

Dr. D: Well, I’m just trying to find the silver lining. You know, I have no idea why you’d line much of anything with silver. Linings are usually soft, and silver is a hard metal.

Peter: He was being sarcastic, Dr. D. 

Dr. D: Oh. You know, Perry the Platypus, you could stand to lighten up a little. No one’s actually in danger here, and plants are good for the environment.

Perry: Look, just try not to cause any more trouble. I’d really like for you not to get fired.

Dr. D: I’ll try, but you of all people should know how easily I get into trouble.

Peter: Don’t worry, Perry, we’ve got this.

Direct Messages between Peter the Panda, Perry the Platypus, Stacy Hirano, and Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz

Stacy: You know, I feel bad for Candace sometimes. You guys managed to clean up all those plants about a second before she got back with Principal Lang.

Perry: I’d feel bad if the alternative wasn’t Dr. D getting fired.

Dr. D: You worry too much Perry the Platypus. I didn’t get fired, you and Peter the Panda fixed everything, and my students all learned something about genetics.

Peter: They probably also learned a bit about the dangers of accelerated plant growth. That’s always a good lesson to learn.

Dr. D: See, Perry the Platypus, they learned something because of the plants. There’s a name for that. Active learning. I read about it online.

Perry: Peter, please stop encouraging him. I’m going to be the one responsible for keeping everything under control, and there’s a lot of days of school left. 

Stacy: Don’t remind me. High school is going to kill me. We got homework today, and I have to read To Kill a Mockingbird in a week. A week! As if I didn’t have a life outside of English class.

Perry: I’ve heard of that one. I think it’s a classic.

Dr. D: You’re underselling it, Perry the Platypus. To Kill a Mockingbird is a work of art tying together themes of prejudice, race, innocence, justice, education, morality, and growing up. It investigates the ways in which bias can permeate a culture and make people disregard what they know is true in favor of keeping the status quo. Despite its faults, it is still a valuable piece of literature that should be read in order to understand views of race during the first half of the 1900’s.

Peter: I’ve never read it, so I can’t add anything to that…incredibly detailed review.

Stacy: Could you write my book report for me, Dr. D?

Perry: No, he will not.

Dr. D: Perry the Platypus, have some faith in me. I’m not going to do Stacy’s homework for her. How else will she learn? Besides, I think everyone should read To Kill a Mockingbird at least once in their life. You’ll really enjoy it, Stacy. Well, maybe enjoy is the wrong word since some pretty messed up stuff happens. You’ll be changed by it.

Stacy: What if I don’t want to be changed by my English class?

Peter: You could always look up an online synopsis.

Perry: Peter!

Dr. D: That’s a horrible idea, Peter the Panda. Stacy should read the book. She should find a reading buddy, though. That’s always helpful.

Perry: Why don’t you and Candace read it together? She could use someone to help her focus.

Dr. D: Who’s Candace?

Peter: She’s just a friend of Stacy’s.

Dr. D: The name sounds familiar, though. Are you sure I don’t know her?

Stacy: I think she’s friends with Vanessa.

Dr. D: Oh! She’s the one who fought off the zombie versions of myself!

Perry: Yep. That’s all you need to know.

Peter: Good luck with your book, Stace.

Stacy: Thanks, Peter.

Dr. D: I won’t help you cheat, but let me know if you want to have a rousing discussion about themes and character development.

Stacy: I’ll let you know.

Perry: Don’t worry Stacy, it won’t be too bad.

Dr. D: Stop acting like reading is some horrible torture, Perry the Platypus!

Perry: Not everyone is a big reader, Dr. D.

Dr. D: I’m going to make you a list, Perry the Platypus. It’s going to be all the books you should read. I’m not going to have you walk around all uncultured.

Perry: I will not have time to read most of them.

Dr. D: Well, just try to read some of them.

Stacy: Perry, you need to read them. I need to feel like someone else understands my pain.

Dr. D: What? No, it’s not painful. It’s fun.

Perry: We’ll see, Dr. D. We’ll see.

Stacy: This is going to be an interesting school year.

Perry: You’re telling me.