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This mission six months ago had been simple some wanker in a helmet had been targeting assets around the world. Laswell sent in 141 but what he didn’t expect. Was for helmet to get little too close to one of his grenades. And have it shatter a part of the visor. Revealing enough for Ghost to stop dead in his tracks.
Those eyes seared into his memory forever even now. Cold and dead inside with no recollection to be found. If anything he looked angry that the grenade actually hit him. A predator reminded that they’re still vulnerable Ghost’s blood had ran cold. Soap reached up slowly and yanked the helmet off. Then he raised his gun and Ghost woke up with a start.
Screaming Jesus..
He looked over to see the man himself sitting in a chair at the far end of the room. A bionic staring machine after his own heart. His right arm is missing replaced by some kind of mix of metal alloys that makes it a hell of a shield.
“Johnny” he looked at the man who seemed confused by that. It took him a minute to realize who Ghost was talking about. “Oh.. you mean me.. your Ghost right?” Simon kept it together well all things considered. “That’s my callsign yeah..” he hated seeing Soap like this. While he’d wished for ten long years that Soap was alive why’d it have to be like this?
The man fiddled with the knife he’d been twirling “you talk in your sleep.” In his defense social niceties are hard especially when you’ve been brainwashed. Ghost had learned to get used to a lot of blunt observations.
They’re still in the phase where Simon also considered making flash cards so Soap wouldn’t be confused all the time. Eventually as he recovers the information may stick. But for now it’s like bunking with a very deadly toddler who forgets what they were told two seconds after the fact.
“I’d imagine I do.. nightmares come with the territory.” He sat up while the man eyed him “you kept saying ‘Soap’ over and over again.” That’s just great Simon thought maybe he should just muzzle himself when he sleeps.
“You were talking about me weren’t you?” Simon didn’t see the use in hiding it and nodded. “I was Johnny.. I’ve just got a lot of trauma that I never was able to properly work through.” He nodded judging by the look in those eyes Johnny knows exactly what his nightmare entailed.
“We know all about trauma don’t we?” He asked and Simon nodded again. He’d seen Soap’s trauma and it’s a lot more.. visceral. Anymore times of being put on his back by that prosthetic arm and Ghost might just develop a kink.
Whatever that fucker General Shepherd did to him is bad. Aside from the arm he’s very strong, fast and durable. But outside from that his trauma manifests in destructive behavior. Often times screaming and punching the wall with that metal hand.
Ghost learned that if he doesn’t want to get punched it’s best to let him get it out. Then attempt to calm him down. By the backing of 141 Ghost and Johnny are on the run. So Laswell doesn’t put Johnny in a deep dark hole somewhere. Given how long the list of people he killed is while brainwashed. That would be a guarantee.
Ghost watched as he ran his flesh and bone hand through his long hair. Which also had taken some getting used to. Soap having a full head of hair but if you need to conceal someone’s identity. It makes sense.
“I don’t know if I’m worth all this trouble” he said after a minute and Ghost sighed. “You are Johnny and I ain’t hearing anything else about it. You’re worth it.” The man looked halfway between being flattered and confused on why Ghost seemed put out.
Ghost grumbled getting up going into the kitchen then putting a bag of skittles in Soap’s lap. Decision making isn’t a skill that he had at the moment and if he’s going to eat. Ghost has to anticipate.
The man eyed the package “you used to love the stuff Johnny.” He then eyed Ghost dubiously but opened it and started eating. “I would look over and you’d always be munching down on them. Had I let you it would’ve been breakfast lunch and dinner for you.”
Simon would be lying if he said it didn’t sting seeing no reaction from John to what was once his favorite snack. His mental health just kept taking hits and it’s not like he can dig the general up. And put a clip in his face either.
“I’m making you angry” he said in observation and Ghost grumbled. “You are not I’m a cranky old man is all just eat your damn skittles.” Johnny went back to eating and Simon wasn’t entirely sure. If it’s because he likes what he’s eating. Or simply because he was told to and following orders is easy for Johnny.
He can beat it into the man all he wants that he’s allowed to make choices. But Ghost would just be wasting his time and effort. You may as well be asking a dog to do fucking trigonometry.
The concept is that foreign to the man once he was done eating Ghost reigned in his feelings. That had been mean of him not that the kid seemed to care one way or the other. Once he parked himself somewhere in the flat he wasn’t keen to move.
Or talk beyond the blunt observations that he can’t help. Ghost felt like an ass because Soap didn’t ask to become this fucking messed up. He didn’t have a choice in the matter the fucking least his grumpy ass can do is be fucking patient.
“So I’m curious.. how the hell did you get into Budapest and manage to stay hidden for that long?” Deciding to talk to the man about something that he would understand.
“I used my training.. figured you wouldn’t lie about shit like that so by elimination that means Shepherd lied to me. And he’s dead now.. both sides coming after me. I did what I know how to.. survive.” Soap commented with a dead pan delivery screaming jesus how is he supposed to break through all that trauma.
He’d been nearly at the tree line of the woods then until that bastard put him back under. Scrambled his brains and got him a nice comfy spot on Interpol’s most wanted.
Now it’s a daily battle to just get him to remember his name. “Then I went and fucked it all up for ya Johnny you’d just wanted to be left alone.” He was waved off though “not your fault.. it was going to happen eventually. How could you have known handing me over would be more important than you guys bond with that CIA woman.” Ghost sighed “the important thing is you’re here now Johnny.”
They’d had way too many bridges burned over the years but Ghost would never regret burning that one. “And I mean it.. that’s one bridge I don’t regret burning down.” Soap gave him a small smile “you do too much for me sir.” Now it’s his turn to smile “and I’d do it all again Johnny.”
Maybe with enough interactions like that Ghost can find the patience to deal with the setbacks. He looked over to see him messing with his arm again. “Johnny.. your arm acting up?”
The fact that he’d tried to hide it is upsetting “kind of hurts just random jolts into that side.” Ghost with permission took a look. “How long has this been happening?” That look and the hesitation told him all he needed to know. “I’ll see if I can’t get someone off books to help. I’m no good with tech especially anything this complex. Last thing I want to do is fuck it up even more and hurt you.” Soap hardened his stance “you won’t hurt me sir.”
Fucking Christ
“Don’t even start with that Johnny.. I may not be able to kill you but I’ve seen you get hurt plenty. Being used to pain is one thing.” It’d probably been damaged in the escape from CIA a few weeks ago. “I’m not going to bother asking why you didn’t say anything. Cause we both know the answer to that.”
It being that he’s used to being seen not heard no thoughts, no opinions, just an attack dog.
“You’re angry” he commented and Ghost supplied “only at myself for not noticing sooner Johnny.” Not his fault he’d fallen back on learned habits. “You’re making excuses for me” Ghost smiled some. “And you’re learning how to speak freely I call it how I see it same as you Johnny.”
He could see at least some of that conditioning kick back in stopping him from speaking his mind. “Jesus Christ Johnny.. I don’t know how to help you right now. But I promise you I’m gonna find out.”
After some calls, checking and some fan fare they found a doctor who could help. “Price he’s still very shaky I don’t want to risk anything. We collectively agreed to burn Laswell so we could save Johnny. As far as the world is concerned we’re an international threat.”
Price sighed over the line “I know Lt but we can’t risk moving Johnny and not a lot of people know how to fix tech like that. We’re beggars here we can’t afford to be choosers to.” Ghost wasn’t happy about this but at the same time the longer they wait. The bigger the chance it’ll deliver an even bigger jolt that could actually do damage to Johnny.
He heard Soap before he saw him “don’t worry about me sir.. whatever the captain says. I can handle it.
His version of handling it was disassociating for the solid three hours that it took to fix it. Eyes forward stare empty and dead it sure as hell felt like a regression to him.
Right now though.. Soap didn’t need gentle tlc he leaned down smacking the man hard. After failing twice to come out of it “acknowledge me soldier.” He ordered finally.. finally Soap’s pupils moved to look at him. “Solid.. ready to comply” but said in Romanian. Ghost had never been more thankful for his damn mask than he was now. “We’re leaving soldier” the man stood up following him out.
They got into the car and left “check for tails.. Captain said they were clean but I’m not taking chances.” Soap’s eyes moved to the mirrors “if they try just give me a gun and keep your hands on the wheel sir.” Fucking hell..
Ghost didn't doubt he could do it but he also didn't want to test it "don't get excited Johnny" thankfully it ended up being uneventful. Uneventful is good even better for his blood pressure big boys like Ghost don’t age well.
While Soap and his super human ass would do amazingly he’d most likely end up taking some. Ghost knew he was being paranoid but even so he did a sweep of the flat.
Finally Soap relaxed as much as he’d been comfortable to. “It fixed?” He knew now wasn’t really the time to ask that. But Soap moved all of his fingers on his hand then rotated his shoulder into a full circle. “Solid” well that’s one problem fixed at least.
Ghost wanted to ask what the hell that had been back there the deep disassociation. But he knew exactly what it was a severe trauma response. Soap was watching him.. analyzing “you’re worried about something.”
Ghost acknowledged it “worried about you Johnny I don’t like what I had to do to snap you out of that. Tell me about what they’d done to you.” There was only one way they’d get past this.. by talking about it.
“A lot of stuff, maintenance on my arm.. electric migraines woke up on a table. Punched out a lab coat.. he was dead before he hit the floor. I remember them putting me on ice bits and pieces like that.” Soap recounted “they rigged my arm so it would hurt if it was touched.” That certainly explains a lot and why he’s so used to pain. Also explains why he’s barely aged a day since the last time Ghost had seen him fifteen years ago.
“Must’ve been whatever they did to you that made you super human. They could put you on ice and bring you out of it to avoid someone piecing your kills together.” Soap nodded “they only used Romanian and Farsi to talk to me. But I can understand and speak in over thirty.”
Ghost knew that already from their escape when they first went on the run. “I remember sneaking through a town… and a lot of death.. you were in my ear.” That one caught Ghost by surprise “that was a long time ago Johnny.. Las Almas, Mexico things had just gone to hell in a big way.”
That’s how Soap started trying to weed through his own memories what’s real and what wasn’t. He would simply ask Ghost even if he didn’t fully trust him. A man that fixed his arm couldn’t be all that bad. Right now Simon will take all he can get.
Then it became an endless game of twenty questions and because not every one of their allies. From back in the day got the memo Ghost at 2am ended up face to face with an old friend.
“What the hell pendajo I have to hear about you finding Soap and being an enemy of the world?” Alejandro didn’t see the man sneaking up behind him. “Johnny wait” he spoke slowly and moved even slower. Hands where they can be seen.
“Soap” he heard Alejandro start then deflate when John didn’t react. “He doesn’t go by that anymore ese.. you picked a bad time to drop in. My arm ain’t here to hold you back it’s to keep him back. Gesturing towards Soap “he’s a friendly Johnny.. remember the guy from Las Almas?”
When Soap started speaking Spanish he heard Alejandro’s breath hitch. “Christ..” finally John put his weapon down. He noticed Alejandro eyeing his arm. Johnny pointed to Ghost “I trust him” then Alejandro “not you.” The man put his hands up in surrender because he took it how it was intended. A threat to fuck around and find out what a super soldier can do.
“Johnny” he tried and John was quick to rebuff it “only Ghost can call me that.” Alejandro looked so fucking bewildered Simon felt bad for him. Ghost hadn’t seen that resting bitch face in a long time. “Johnny be nice he’s a friend” the man sat back down “I don’t know that.. he showed up unannounced and compromised you and the captain and Gaz.” Ghost calmed him down.
“He’s right though Alejandro.. if you could find us then anyone can. Just like in Las Almas it’s us against the world. I don’t intend to lose Johnny again.. once was enough damn it.” The man conceded having been getting it from all sides because Price lost his shit on him.
But he did tell him “John.. soldier your eyes hold the devil my friend. I’ve got to say.. when I heard they found you alive. I was hoping to see the same kid who fought with me in Las Almas.” Soap eyed him coldly “sorry to disappoint but I’m not him. A decade and a half of brain washing will do that to you.” Simon hadn’t been expecting to suddenly play referee between these two but plans change.
“Johnny what did I say about being nice” though Alejandro relented. “No.. no… I deserved that I was out of line.” Ghost wondered if Alejandro really thought that would gain favor with Soap. Because it didn’t.
Johnny’s uncomfortable now that he’s having to endure a third that they can’t let leave. And he’s hell bent on making sure the special forces leader knows it. Half the battle is making sure Soap doesn’t kill him. The other half is making sure Alejandro doesn’t keep antagonizing him.
Fucking golden retriever of a man still always has been an always will be. Which clashes with the dangerous super soldier. Who would like nothing more than to run him the hell over.
Unfortunately for Ghost the feeling for Vergas is starting to become mutual. Going from being a traumatized bionic staring machine. To taking every opportunity possible to irritate and or scare the shit out of Alejandro.
Their newest fucking thing is jump scares it’s all fun and games until Ghost ends up on his back. He’s too damn old for this.. “fucking hell Johnny while I love that there’s a personality forming there. Could you not send me to an early grave?” He titled his head “I could’ve sworn he would come this way. My intel must’ve been bad.” Ghost really considered a head slap right then.
“Christ.. what is it about Alejandro that has you turning into a bitch supreme Johnny?”
The man shrugged and Ghost is starting to get a handle on his version of smartass. “Johnny…” he gave him a look “somethings going on and just like the night with your arm we’re talking this shit out.”
He could tell Soap didn’t want to but stayed anyway. “Is it cause he scared you? Did he say something to you? Do you know something about him that I don’t?” Soap crinkled his nose. “No nothing like that.. well… he did scare me but that’s not the reason.. I don’t like another person here. I liked it just fine when it was you and me sir.”
It took a minute then Simon sighed “so that’s what this is about.. you jealous Johnny?” He squirmed “now ain’t the time for that Johnny.. answer the question.” With as close to a pout as he’ll get out of the man he nodded finally.
With permission Soap let Ghost put an arm around him both still on the floor. “While I’m flattered Johnny there’s no need for that. You have my full attention. You call for me and I come running that’s how this works.”
“You’re precious to me Johnny and I’ll move heaven and earth to keep you feeling safe.” Soap laid his head on him Simon wasn’t sure how long they stayed there. But his back was killing him later.. worth it though.
Apparently there’s a rumor going back as far as the first Hassan mission that himself and Johnny are a thing. This is the first Ghost is hearing about it and ofcourse it would be from Alejandro. Who saw them curled up on the couch.
Ghost had looked at him pointedly “we aren’t together.. we never have been. Plus he’s still vulnerable.. what gave you guys that idea?” Alejandro seemed like a mixture of surprised and put out. Two things that Simon didn’t really have patience for.
“It’s the way you two acted and act together.. you’re telling me cuddling up to murder bot over there doesn’t have a romantic meaning ese?” Ghost glared.. he’s too old for games and hidden meanings. “First off all.. he’s not a murder bot he’s Johnny fucking Mactavish.” Almost immediately the man’s demeanor changed. “Ok fine I’m backing down big guy.”
But what he’d said stuck with Ghost… are they a thing? And more importantly does Johnny think they’re a thing? You know what? Doesn’t matter if Johnny doesn’t wanna define it. Then Ghost decided he can live with that. He’s not going to confuse the man with the whole does he loves me shit.
He found Johnny sitting in the kitchen on the counter making his way through a big bag of skittles. Brain washed or not skittles are forever apparently. He’d been about to say something when he noticed the war box sitting on the table. Open and John’s posthumous brag rag lying on the table.
They made eye contact “any questions? Let me know now Johnny” the man indicated “why do I have one? I thought officially most of the Hassan ops didn’t happen?” Ghost supplied “cause it wasn’t from that.. it was after you ‘died’ fighting Makerov. There was a big ceremony.. we spread what we thought were your ashes.” He kept an eye on Ghost’s face and promptly hit him with what felt like the equivalent of a gut punch with the next question. “Did you cry over me sir?”
He answered honestly “for months after the fact and over your body. Price had to move in with me.. cause I stopped taking care of myself.” That surprised him “do you remember seeing me on the overpass?” Johnny nodded “I remember I was mad because that damn pineapple hit me. And I was gonna get in trouble that people saw my face. Between my arm hurting from that and the weird look that confused me.”
Simon made the motion “you would’ve got me to had Gaz not fired the nade launcher. I didn’t plan on fighting you.” There was that look that he hadn’t seen in a very long time. “You would’ve let me kill your sir” Ghost shrugged. “I was in shock Johnny there you were clearly out of your head and alive. Survivors guilt is a helluva thing.”
That’s the first time Johnny’s been mad at him in fifteen years. Ghost couldn’t be happier about it.
Johnny avoided him like the plaque for a week thanks to that but worth it. Though Ghost didn’t think so when he was jump scared by Johnny coming out of the armoire. He got the last laugh there.
It took nearly a year Price called “I got a line on where they were keeping Johnny. We can take it out, stop them from making more.” Ghost looked over at Soap he knew the man heard it. “We’ve got zero support Cap just a buncha old special operations guys and one super soldier. With both sides looking for us.. I ain’t losing Johnny again because we decided to play cowboy.”
“If we have the chance to stop more like me from getting out into the world. I say we take it.. I’m not watching the world burn just for my sake. Hell I can do this solo it’s your call.” Everyone stopped and Ghost while he understood didn’t mean he had to like it.
“My Los Vaqueros know it’s John above all else they’ll provide our support.” Johnny nodded “since I know the layout I’ll infiltrate, Ghost will spot. John and Gaz will provide exfill and Los Vaqueros will provide distraction.” They all nodded “if at any time I see CIA or the other side everyone bail out and I’ll make my way back to you.”
Ghost gave him a look “I can survive and evade but everyone else can’t afford to be captured.” John dug his heels in and everyone knew that was the case.
“Time to see what you can do diablo” Alejandro commented they shook hands.
Ghost watched as Johnny got up there jumping up a stair well quickly. Fucking hell it’s a whole other thing watching him shine. The moves he’s pulling look like something out of an action movie. Before he can even call out most things Johnny has either taken them down or moved up.
Firing on all cylinders though Ghost’s Farsi could use some work and he wished Johnny wouldn’t fall back on it. But he gets it his Romanian is even worse so Price ended up translating.
“Get up there soldier” he watched Johnny jump two stories straight up at a 90 degree angle. Grab onto a jutting out ledge then hoisting himself up and over. “Steaming jesus…” the fact that Price ended up having to tell him to keep it tactical had Ghost amused.
He could see Soap’s senses straining “contact” then he heard something crunch. “Soldier just fucking sent someone into the wall they aren’t moving.” Good to know their Soapy boy can yeet someone by their tact suit. Even better to know he’s been holding back because that boy isn’t breathing.
“That seemed personal soldier” he saw Soap spartan kick someone then shoot them dead. “You find.. sometimes as a predator.. that you don’t like not being treated like the threat that you are.” That time he knifed someone clear into their spine.
Soap’s rage could be dangerous “take your feelings out of it soldier being angry is bad for us right now.” He saw Soap grab one by the throat using his metal arm to pull him close then throttle him back. And double tap him then another quick and slick as an oil spill.
They switched to the body cam feed “in the inner chamber they had me train these guys. They were supposed to be the next generation could kick my ass. I remember a lot of pain and anger.” Before anyone could say anything Soap double taped each and every one of them in their cryo cells.
“He made the decision for us no one gets their hands on them. Move to exfill Soldier we need to get gone before anyone notices.” Ghost was already in when Soap climbed aboard he didn’t look angry. “That was a skeleton crew.. they had no plans of activating them. No officers in sight just grunts with guns.” Price sighed “so we wasted your talents on this and brought in the Calvary for nothing.” Soap titled his head some “that’s five less super soldiers to worry about I made the hard call so you didn’t have to Captain.”
Alejandro commented after they’d been on the road for a bit. “For a minute there diablo I thought we’d lost you. I get it though.. no one likes being underestimated.” Soap gave him a once over “I remembered that grunt.. he’d smirked when I got knocked on my ass. Then when the new batch started a fight had me bodyguard him.” There was a flash of cold anger “it bad that I liked watching the fear play across his face when I broke his back?”
Ghost shook his head “bit of so so the bastard deserved it. It’s a good thing I like my men dangerous Johnny.” That seemed to help Soap out of his violent thoughts. “You still think that after seeing what I can really do? Crazy bastard.” Ghost chuckled some “yeah I am Johnny glad you finally noticed.”
Soap still looked bewildered by that it’s like a loosing battle trying to convince him that he’s loved. And that they won’t abandon him over what he’s done which is the latest thing.
Ghost found out that Johnny remembers a lot of his time in those fifteen years. All of the ugly jobs where he looked both deserving and scared innocent victims in the eye. As he gunned them down Johnny doesn’t feel like he deserves to be happy.
Which is arguably worse than two years ago when he couldn’t even retain what his name was. The road to recovery is extra long and violent with a lot of set backs.
“If you had to choose a career path given what you are what would it be?” Alejandro asked off handedly one night as they sheltered in place. Thanks to a particularly nasty storm.. without hesitation Johnny answered “storm chaser. I’m sure those boys and ladies could use someone who’s not scared.” Alejandro smirked “naturally diablo… even if it carried you away. Give it a day and you’ll be fine so long as you don’t get impaled.”
Ghost watched him smile “I thought about ultimate fighting and I’m sure I wouldn’t suck at it. But that’s just beating the holy hell outta people. Having to pull my punches would get exhausting.” Soap chuckled to himself like it was an inside joke. Reminding Simon that should he choose to.. they would all be dead.
It’s not like Ghost needed reminding of it considering the bases he’d known the man snuck out to take down. He’s gotten comfortable in what he is at least.
And more comfortable being in Ghost’s arms and being loved on.