Chapter Text
“I’m sorry?” Tim demands, gaping wildly at Ares, stood in front of Tim, mildly stunned like he hadn’t expected Tim to not know what he’s talking about.
Ares blinks, gestures to Tim like that should explain everything before he says “I said, congratulations on your immortality, Timothy. I look forward to sparring with you” and Tim’s gaping again cause...what?
“I can’t be immortal. I just took a nap while you and Cassie were sparring. I thought naps were allowed. I was literally asleep! How-?” Tim runs out of words before he can finish his sentence because. WHAT?
Ares tilts his head to the side like Bruce does when Tim should really know the answer to whatever weird question he just asked. If Tim were any less weirded about by the entirety of this discussion, he’d also be weirded out by that but he does not have the capacity to worry about Ares imitating Bruce right now.
Ares, seeing that Tim still had no clue what he’s talking about, raises an eyebrow at Athena across the room, sitting almost disinterestedly next to a frozen Kon. Like Kon at least has an idea of what exactly Ares is talking about.
Admittedly, Tim isn’t stupid. He has an idea of what’s happened but if he acknowledges what has happened then it’s real. And unavoidable. And then what is he supposed to do? Live with the fact that he’s not mortal anymore?
Unfortunately, Tim’s ability to be willfully ignorant comes to an abrupt end when Bart stops in front of his face with a grin and a goblet in hand.
A familiar goblet of golden liquid.
“Bart” Tim half-snaps and half-hisses “What did you do?” he demands, eyes wide and legs straining to stand and pace. Because of course it was Bart. Tim really should have expected this.
Bart just grins at Tim like he doesn’t see any problem here, popping a piece of what looks like honeycomb into his mouth with a grin that says it absolutely isn’t honeycomb.
“Bart!” Tim barks, a commander on a battlefield now and he can feel his fingers beginning to buzz in agreement. Bart finally meets Tim’s eye with his own widened ones. He pouts like he doesn’t understand why Tim’s upset.
Tim knows that’s a lie. He narrows his eyes.
Bart drops the act in an instant, looking like a child with his hand in a cookie jar.
“I had a wish!”
Tim’s eye twitches and he can feel a headache brewing between his ears.
“What?” Tim asks, voice faux-pleasant “Did you wish for?”
Bart’s grinning again, unrepentant.
Tim already knows what the wish is.
Ares has pretty much spelt it out for him.
“Bart, no” Tim whines, finally giving into the temptation to drop his head into his hands, face going red as he tries to outthink literal nectar and ambrosia that he’s already eaten hours ago.
There are stories about mortals, mostly demigods, eating nectar and ambrosia and being completely unaffected. Like Sisyphus in some stories where he’d stolen the food of the gods. But Tim has a feeling that this isn’t...quite the same.
Eat 6 pomegranates, stay 6 months in the underworld. Eat Fae food and forever be trapped in their realm. Food has power in stories like these. Tim almost wonders if this is a “How much you’ve eaten influences the outcome” Sort of situation. Or if it was more “One and Done”.
Given what Ares had congratulated Tim on, Tim’s willing to bet the latter.
Tim tunes in just in time for Kon to start ranting about consent and how that’s kind of really important to immortality. And how Kon and Bart and Cassie had a whole thing given “The Zeus situation”.
The deities all, luckily, ignore Kon’s words.
“But Kon!” Bart whines “Come on man! This was a golden opportunity!” he grins, a splash of golden nectar dripping over the side of his golden cup.
Kon goes still at the pun “I’m gonna murder you” Kon says with sudden, startling clarity.
Bart doesn’t seem perturbed “I’m immortal now, remember? And so are you, and Tim, and Cassie”
Tim stills now for a completely different reason “Cassie’s gonna murder you” he mutters “I protected you against her wrath with the prank war and now she’s gonna kill you anyway”
“Can’t kill someone who’s immortal, Rob!”
“If anyone can, it’s Cassie when she’s angry” Kon says, slumping to the side now as he apparently just gives up on lecturing Bart.
Tim isn’t quite ready to give up the ghost yet “This is what you asked Zeus for” he says, slowly, putting pieces together.
“Yep”
“Who then asked Lord Dionysus to give us nectar”
“Yeah”
“Without us knowing”
Here, Dionysus himself speaks up with a shrug “I was under the impression your speedy Gonzales had told you what he had planned. But it’s not like it changes anything”
Tim swallows, sits down onto a bean bag behind him that wasn’t there a second ago. There’s a coldness at his elbow again that seems more pronounced, indicating that Lady Artemis stands by his side in a literal manner.
“Bart you can’t just make people immortal without them knowing” Tim desperately tries to make the statement an order but he can feel the whine of the words against the back of his throat.
Bart blinks “But I just did?”
Tim sighs.
There’s a roar of outrage from Kon’s side of the room but this time it’s Tim turn to be too tired to argue. He keeps his head in his hands and takes a deep breath. Feels a cold presence at his side, leaning closer as he begins to tune out Kon’s lecture that’s turning less impassioned the more good points Bart brings up.
“Do you not wish to be immortal?” Artemis asks, leaning closely enough to Tim’s side that he doesn’t think anyone else in the room can hear.
Tim isn’t sure how to answer the question. Being immortal would probably make his life easier. Less likely to die out in the field. Not impossible given the stories of dismembered fathers. And jars with trapped Ares’.
“This is....” Tim hedges “rather sudden. And a tad unexpected” he finally says.
Artemis’ lips turn into a small smile at that “Life tends to be” she says. And Tim has to give her that point.
Just like he kind of has to give Bart points for the arguments he keeps bringing up against Kon.
“Neither you or I will die again”
“Tim won’t go insane with lonely grief and try to clone you again”
“Also no more future evil Titans!”
“Cassie’ll be with her family forever”
“Tim can do activity rosters for the Gods and make sure that they don’t kill each other”
“I mean, Tim’s been claimed by so many gods, I’d be surprised if they let him die anyway”
“And you’re no better, Mr. Knitting with Athena herself”
“Aren’t we already partially immortal because of the Santa thing?”
“Bart” Tim interjects finally, standing up from the bean bag “I get it” he says a moment later “While I wish you’d told us instead of sneaking it into the situation”
“Cause you’re the paragon of communication”
“I can’t” Tim stresses, speaking over Bart and ignoring his words “Exactly blame you because I’ve done that too”
“You never made any of us immortal!”
“Eh” Tim says, holding up a hand “There was a plan a few years ago with Constantine and souls and new bodies”
Kon looks at him, mildly horrified “I thought you were over the cloning thing”
“I am!” Tim says immediately “But someone pointed out that if you combined the DND spells clone and magic jar you can just essentially transfer your soul from one body to another any time you need”
“See! How is that not worse than this?!”
“I am not arguing with either of you to decide if making people immortal without their knowledge or cloning someone without their knowledge is less moral” Kon says, face completely stunned now as he looks between Bart and Tim. And Cassie.
Because Cassie’s here now. Also staring at Kon like he’d grown a second head.
“Why are we talking about immortality?” she asks, slowly. Like a lion approaching their prey. It screams danger to Tim and Kon and Bart and everyone that’s ever known Cassie.
Tim and Kon both point at Bart.
“You get to explain this one” Tim says simply.
Cassie, fingers twitching as she grips a piece of honeycomb-not-honeycomb, turns to Bart with unerring attention.
“You better fucking not have, Bartholomew”