Chapter Text
The days has pass and it was already his first birthday, Till was officially one year old and could finally be able to walk and talk. His first words were neither Mom or Dad, a bit strange when he asked what their names were and how did he even know the words, weird for a kid his age to want to know about their parents name yet they brushed it off as Till being a sorta special kind of child.
His birthday was really unfamiliar as he was used to just treating it as a normal day without any gifts or whatever, it's not like he'll accept the Aliens presents anyways. But this day was different, his parents treated it as if some sort of party and he had bunch of presents presented to him and there were lots, lots of people and Till guessed that his parents were friends with them and didn't mind the company as long as they're not approaching him and being all close and weird to him. He knows that he is a baby and people would probably fawn over him like his parents do, but he needs his personal space, alright?
And of course that didn't go as he planned, people were literally all over him, some old and some young humans that each took turns in trying to give him affection but he refused them each time they try, Till doesn't know how many times his cheeks has been pinched at so it's turning red at this point which makes it seriously worse for him as others continued on with their act of affection even though he said to leave him alone, Till will never get used to birthday parties at all...
But the opening of gifts one was quite enjoyable even if it's all baby stuff, but he'll ask for what he wants when it's time for his second birthday.
The aftermath of the party was his parents left with a messy house, leading to them cleaning for hours and didn't have enough time to go and play with Till but Till was relived at the fact and tried to find pencils and paper to try and organize his thoughts and compose music that was solely for himself, he was excited, it's his first time actually relaxing and having fun (If that's what's fun to him).
He finds himself drawing, someone that was stuck on his mind, it's quite laughable that someone he didn't cared to look at would impact him so much that the thought of him brings guilt and shame to Till, for not realizing sooner, for not even reciprocating his gaze. Till draws him over and over again, yet only his eyes that Till can't seem to draw right.
'What does he even look like?'
That question left Till hanging, he looked at the drawings again, Ivan, it looks like him, yet it doesn't. What do his eyes look like, every drawings has his eyes but it felt wrong, every thing about his eyes felt wrong, the only time he looked at him was when Ivan was over at the stage, that was a year ago, only his smile and fang that he remembers vividly.
Why can't he remember them when they were literally on him the entirety of their life, then again, Till was the only one who couldn't look back at him by the guilt he felt when Ivan tried to set him free. It was after all Till's fault because he came back for someone he knows won't ever acknowledge his love since they have love another and Ivan followed him just because of that same reason.
It's been a couple of hours and Till had papers all over his room, filled with Ivan whose eyes change every portrait as Till tried to remember, so hard that he feels like he'll probably have a headache from all that constant thinking. Yet every drawing never captured what he was looking for, Till hated every portrait but couldn't just dispose them all so he kept them in a box he found and hopefully his parents won't ever find that, otherwise his dignity will completely shatter from sheer embarrassment.
It's literally making him go insane at this point, why was he even trying so hard just for a person that died? (No, that sacrificed himself just for Till) Maybe it was because of his selfishness to want to remember how Ivan looked like and so that his gaze will always be on him even if it was a drawing and not the real one. This time, it was Till whose gaze was on Ivan, only a paper to gaze at and it didn't feel enough but brought strange comfort to Till.
Holding a paper in which Ivan was smiling at him with close eyes, Till carefully placed it next to him and tried to not make any wrinkles to it, he looks at him (the drawing), imagining the warm hands that held him when they were young, his eyes slowly dropping as the drawing becomes blurry. Till was tired from drawing, his hands were also red from holding the pencil so long.
Caressing the paper once more, Till succumbed to his exhaustion and slept with the paper beside him, a tear unbeknownst to Till fell from his eye as he dreamt of the day they escaped together. A nice dream that he wished were reality yet of course just a dream.
Maybe all of those where he was treated badly just a dream? Just a fake reality to teach him to be grateful for what he has now? The garden, aliens, pet humans, Mizi, Ivan? Was Ivan just an imaginary person who was by his side for him not to feel lonely? Was Ivan just a person he created?
... Till woke up, sweat ran down his face as he tries to recollect all the thoughts he had, there is no way he is fake, Till saw it, he was real and the world he previously lived in was real, all was very real, the events, the deaths, Ivan, and all the other things that happen were real. He was sure of it...
His second birthday, as usual there was a lot of people there, he got used to their blabbering real quick, he told his parents before that he wants art materials for his gifts and surprise surprise, all the presents he opened were related to art. He was grateful and quickly went to his room and used some of the gifts he got, he wasted no time and drawn Ivan. Coloring his hair, skin and outfit. The clothes he would usually see Ivan wear, but he wanted it to be different, he soon sketched outfits he had seen others wore in this world, taking inspirations from them.
Hours later he was finished and he admit, Ivan looked good in all the outfits Till had designed, oddly enough, Till was quite proud to see it, would be better if he had drawn his eyes since all of the sketches he made was with Ivan's eyes closed.
Every single day, Till drew and drew, it became muscle memory to him now. he would proudly say that he can draw with his eyes closed! (He tried it and the drawing he made looked wonky, he also never told anyone and quickly disposed of the drawing.)
He was three, the year pass quickly and it was the first day he'll be able to go outside and see the earth that was different to the one he was used to see. Taking a step outside their house, Till was quickly mesmerized by the sight before him. Trees that looked detailed, sky that shine so brightly and looked so real.. and the place were full of life and people, so many people, Till wept a bit but tried to keep his composure right and take a look on various places while of course being supervised by his parents for him not to get lost.
He took his sketch pad with him when they went out the second time, spending hours drawing and enjoying the view as they visit various and famous places. His sketch pad soon was filled with different trees he saw and places that looked beautiful.
Till was loving every second of it, he never knew that this was what it was like to have fun, it was one of the best days Till had. It slowly became a routine for his parents to take him out whenever they don't have work or it's the weekends and watch him make art, Till was thankful to have parents as loving as them. Unlike his owner which he still resented to this day.
he was slowly growing older and taller, he never really got along with kids in his neighborhood since his mental state was older than what he looked like, making him a loner like his past life. He was used to being alone of course, if it weren't for his parents he'll probably be in his room doing nothing but drawing and possibly composing songs that he'll show his parents once in awhile.
He turned four today, a big party yet again, this time kids a year older or the same age as him were invited and Till realized how hard it was to avoid them, they constantly pester him he almost cursed at them but kept his cool since he knows how he'll be scolded and he doesn't want that in his new life to happen. He endured their constant blabbering until he fully couldn't and tried to distance himself and completely get out of their sights which he finally successfully did after an hour of dealing with those energetic kids.
His parents told him that he'll be able to go to school when he turned six which would be two years from now, Till learned that there is still a system that required children to study and work to survive, not much different from Till's past. Though death wasn't an option so he was glad. Excited even to go to school, he wondered if it was the same as the garden, where they have to sing and do activities and stay there until they are old.
He'll have to wait though, and waiting doesn't suit Till at all, he used to rebel so of course he wasn't used to waiting for two years but he'll try and endure those years and focus more on his drawings and music to hopefully improve.
This time his parents decided to bring him to a place he has never been to before, and it was the aquarium, full of creatures that lived in the sea, Till was fascinated and wanted to draw all the types of fishes and other sea creatures on his sketch pad, Till was filled with joy as he observed and looked closely as each details, it was so amazing to see different once yet they sometimes look the same just not the same designs.
Till saw so many, each etching into his brain and his sketch pad filled up quickly, all pages not leaving a single blank sheet, his so definitely gonna color all of them when he gets back home, it'll be like a coloring book that Till drew himself.
It was finally his fifth birthday, one more year to finally attend school, he had grown to be more taller than the average height of kids. He was quite famous in his neighborhood because of his parents posting all his drawings on social media, gaining followers real quick and branding him a prodigy, taking his peaceful and quiet life away from him as kids come to him everyday to see his drawings, making him stay in his room until the kids stop pestering him.
The house Till lived in had a rooftop so Till would daily go there to draw the sunset or sunrise, the rooftop was the best, it was peaceful and quiet, completely void of voices, perfect for Till's alone time. Admiring the setting sun, Till decided to compose a song, a relaxing and free song, dedicated to Till's freedom after years of suffering.
He wrote, hummed, sang and finally finished it, it was beautiful. Till really worked hard to create it, a song just for himself. A forever reminder that he was no longer in captivity.