Chapter Text
For what are soulmates except the people you need the most?
(((
When Silver, Malleus, and Lilia all come back to Briar Valley for winter break, the first thing Sebek and Silver do is have a competition to see who can build a pillow fort the fastest, like they used to do when they were younger. After they’ve settled into their little hideout, Sebek asks to see Silver’s soulmarks, if only to keep him from falling asleep immediately. Silver is surprised at first, but not all hesitant as he gently gives Sebek his hand to inspect.
“Did they… hurt?” Sebek asks, cursing the way his voice wavers.
Silver plops his head down on his arm, a light smile gracing his lips. “No, it didn’t hurt me at all. Don’t worry about me."
“I-I-I wasn’t worried about you!” he splutters, flustered. “I just want to know what I’ll be facing when I come to Night Raven College with you next year!
The emerald green spindle dancing across his knuckles is Silver’s favorite. He doesn’t say it’s his favorite, but Sebek knows it’s the only one he’s found a match for, so it must be. And with someone as dedicated to Lilia and Malleus as Silver is—perhaps more than Sebek himself—it only makes sense the Dark Mirror would bind him together with them for the rest of his school life. There is no greater honor than that, Sebek thinks, and he ponders if Silver will even bother trying to search for his other soulmates.
Silver answers the question for him seconds later. He lowers his sleeve to reveal a white spiral going up and down his forearm like a vine, and his face melts away into a look as soft as the clouds. This soulmark is the same color as Silver’s magic, and it shimmers like it, too.
“I hope they like me,” Silver remarks quietly.
If they have any sense, they will, Sebek thinks despite himself. You’re you. Everyone likes you.
“You should know better than to be caught up in such ridiculous social interests.” Sebek sniffs. “Though I wouldn’t expect a human like you to understand!”
Silver spares an exhausted glance at him, before turning his hand over.
On Silver’s palm, there’s an image of a simple witch’s cauldron. That’s not too surprising—cauldrons are some of the earliest symbols of human magic, after all—but what is surprising is… everything else. There are blue flames erupting from the cauldron’s top, as if someone had thrown gasoline into the concoction. The smoke coming from it is more of a grayish-blue, and it twists and twirls in odd designs towards Silver’s fingers before disappearing. Most soulmarks are representative of all the people it belongs to, but this cauldron is such a mismatch of stuff , he’s honestly worried about who Silver has unknowingly attached himself to.
“This one is more faded than the others.” Sebek comments with a frown.
“It just means that my soulmate isn’t a student at Night Raven College yet.” Silver explains with a shrug. “But I can be patient.”
“So the one with the spiral is a student? How do you not know who he is yet?!”
“Don’t shout. And I don’t know.” Silver droops a little. “I guess we just haven’t crossed paths yet.”
Sebek rolls his eyes, even as he nervously drums his fingers against the ground.
There’s another thought niggling in the back of his brain, but he’s not sure if he should bring it up. Would it be overstepping, crossing a boundary?
After a few seconds, he asks slowly, “Have… Master Malleus and Master Lilia found all of their soulmates yet?”
“Father only has one soulmark, so he doesn’t need to,” Silver replies, tapping the spindle on his knuckles in a clear gesture, “but Malleus still hasn’t found who his other two marks belong to. He has a spiral on his arm just like mine, but his is pitch black. A little smeared-looking, like ink.”
Sebek gulps. “What does the other one look like?” he asks, before he can chastise himself for prying too much into it. Malleus and Lilia didn’t show him theirs for a reason, after all.
(As much as that thought stings.)
Silver closes one eye in deliberation. “Hm… It’s a broken mirror, if I remember correctly. On his shoulder. A little faded, too.”
“Faded? But the young master is in his 2nd-year. If they’re still not here now, then…”
“I think they’re another freshman,” Silver muses, flipping over his hand again to reveal the cauldron, “like mine.”
Sebek pushes down the well of jealousy that springs up then. It doesn’t matter how I feel, he thinks resolutely. So long as Malleus is content.
“What about you? What do you think?”
“Hmph!” Sebek harrumphs haughtily. “Whoever my soulmates are, they’ll be much more skilled than yours!”
Silver smiles back at him, bumping Sebek’s shoulder with his head. “I’m sure whoever they are, they’ll absolutely love you.”
Silver puts a hand over Sebek’s own. He looks down and sees the spindle.
For not the first time and certainly not the last, his heart aches for a reality he knows he’ll never have.
Sebek wants to believe Silver, if only to ease his growing doubts. Some long-forgotten part of him—the one that’s still five-years-old and standing as close to Silver as possible as they walk through a busy marketplace—wants to believe the implicit It’s okay that comes with Silver’s very presence.
Then he would catch the scowls on the faces of his neighbors, watch his happy-go-lucky father put on a strained smile for appearance’s sake, see his mother bowing to people far weaker than she, and he’d be reminded of the truth he was born into.
Few people have ever loved him, and it really, really wasn’t okay.
(((
Sebek meets Rook Hunt near the end of Silver’s first year. After Silver admitted to knowing a half-fae, he'd sealed Sebek's fate.
Sebek's dead-set on hating him initially. He hasn't met him, and the words stalkerparasitetraitor still whizz through his brain like a bullet at the mere mention of his name.
He’s heard stories of the eccentric, newly-instated Pomefiore student, none of which are particularly pleasant. Malleus's tongue curls around the syllables of his name like it's a curse, spewing smoke from the fire kept buried in his chest. Whenever Lilia has to talk about him, he has to spout it through a clenched smile and knitted brows, in only the way a father on his last nerve could.
When Silver casually brings up that he's bringing Rook home with him for the summer over dinner, Malleus reportedly crushes the teacup in his hands to a fine dust.
At first, when Sebek sees the smiling blonde who has one hand cupping Silver's shoulder and one hand raised in a static wave, he thinks it's all a cruel joke. It’s a strictly platonic bond, yes, but that doesn’t make it any better. There is absolutely no way that Silver—sleepy, dopey, bashful Silver—could ever be soulmates with someone so loud, energetic, boisterous, blunt, and a million other attributes that have “not-Silver” written all over them.
When he's not hanging around Silver and doing “soul-bonding exercises” (including fan-favorites such as sleeping in trees and parkouring across rooftops, the latter of which nearly gave Master Lilia a heart attack), he's not-so-subtly stalking Sebek, notepad in hand. Sebek honestly doesn't care as long as he's not at Silver's house bothering Malleus or Lilia, but at one point, his father sat him down and gave him a talk about stranger danger that ended with him giving Sebek a bottle of pepper spray, which was a… mildly uncomfortable experience, to say the least.
Sebek just can't fathom that Rook Hunt is the man who shares Silver's spiral of pure light. Especially when the hunter refuses to show his own. He can admit, he’s also miffed it took an entire school year for him to reveal himself, especially when he makes it sound—with all his “investigation” habits—like he could’ve done so at any time he wanted.
Sebek doesn’t hate him outright like he expected, but he can’t possibly imagine what Silver sees in him.
“I can’t possibly imagine what you see in him!”
Silver, on the verge of sleep, startles awake again. He drunkenly turns his head toward Sebek, and takes a few seconds to process what Sebek just shouted into his ear.
“See in who?” he asks.
Sebek crosses his arms. “That hunter soulmate of yours. Why is he still here?”
Silver blinks slowly, tilting his head to give Sebek a confused look that says he should already know the answer. “Because I like having him here?”
“I know that, but why?!”
“Don’t shout. And I don’t know.”
“Oh, don’t give me that again! What do you mean you don’t know?”
“We both know I’ve never been very good with choosing my words. You do recall all those essays I failed, right?”
Sebek harrumphs. “I don’t like him.”
Silver props himself upright. Tentatively, he puts a hand on Sebek’s shoulder—an action he vaguely recognizes he picked up from Rook, because Sebek certainly can’t recall Malleus or Lilia ever doing that.
“Rook’s not going to hurt anyone,” Silver assures, “it’s okay.”
That’s the thing, isn’t it?
Rook makes Silver happy—isn’t that all that matters?
So even if it’s very much not okay, Sebek turns away with a huff and pretends that it is.
(((
Then comes the night right before school starts up again—two weeks and four days before Sebek starts attending Night Raven College.
He's wandering around the halls of his house in the middle of the night. Being half-nocturnal, it’s not uncommon for him or his siblings to suddenly get up in the middle of the night for hours at a time. Being half-human, they don’t need to sleep as long as their mother, either—perhaps one of the only things that strand of DNA is good for—so their parents don’t bother checking when they hear something go bump in the night.
Sebek kind of wishes they would, though, when he stumbles into Rook, who is awake and at his house at 2:34 in the morning.
“Monsieur Crocodile?” Rook says, raising the candle in his hand so he can see Sebek’s face better. “What are you doing up at this hour?”
Sebek huffs. “Nocturnal faes aren’t confined to the same night and day cycles as you humans. I thought all of your weeks invading my home would’ve told you as much by now.”
Rook laughs gently, voice still raw with sleep. “Ah, I suppose there are some missteps in my investigative process that even I’ve overlooked.”
“Hmph. It’s only natural for a—”
“But you didn't answer my question.” Rook interrupts. “Why are you wandering around your house like a lost phantom? Do you have some unfinished business, perhaps?”
Sebek has spent enough (unwilling) time around Rook to know he just made a joke, but he’s not… off target, per se. He doesn’t want to tell Rook, but at the same time, he knows Rook won’t leave it alone until he knows at least part of the truth. It’s one of the more annoying parts of his character, and yet another reason to the add to the growing pile of why Sebek is still confused why fate had to tie Silver to him with manacle and chain.
Sebek crosses his arms and looks away. “I’m just busy… thinking. About the future.”
“The future?” Rook echoes. “Monsieur Sleepyhead said you were coming to Night Raven College this year, yes? Is that what you’re worried about?”
The look of discomfort that passes over Sebek’s face must say it all, because Rook’s shoulders relax and his eyes soften. “Oh…”
“I’ll… overcome it when the time comes.” He scratched the back of his hand. “This is likely just my trifling adolescent worries at play.”
“Monsieur Crocodile,” Rook places the candle on a nearby windowsill, “you don’t ‘need’ to overcome it. You are a plenty capable young man, but it’s normal to feel insecure at your age.”
Sebek scoffs bitterly. “How would you know?”
“I wouldn’t,” he admits, “but then again, I am not you. I’ve had my future planned out from the very start. But I believe I would be worried, too, if fate ever told me my family didn’t need me.”
And oh, isn’t that just the perfect little dagger in Sebek’s chest? It’s hard to tell which stings more, his eyes or his chest.
“Oh my…” Rook slowly reaches out to stroke his back gently. In the mists of the flickering candlelight, Sebek can see Rook looking at him with gentle green eyes and a small smile. “It’s alright. You mustn’t be afraid to cry, my dear.”
“What? I’m not—” Sebek’s eyes widen, and he hastily reaches a hand up to rub at his cheeks. “I don’t…”
Rook’s smile tightens, drawing himself closer to Sebek. He doesn’t realize what’s happening until Rook’s arms are looped around his back, and his head is so gentle and warm and grounding against Sebek’s shoulder and his brain stops producing thoughts.
“Silver says an embrace is the swiftest way to calm you.” Rook says calmly, gently patting Sebek on the back. “I do hope I can suffice as the poor replacement I am.”
This one, he thinks, as he gulps down a sob. This one deserves him.
Rook pulls away with a smile as bright as the moon and eyes shining like stars.
“It’s okay.” Rook assures, voice hushed. “You’ll be okay.”
(((
Sebek’s marks come the morning after his orientation.
The first one he finds on his wrist—two silver coins facing each other. On one coin, there is an image of a crocodile head, one that appears to be crying upon closer inspection. On the other, there is an engraving of a shining sun beaming down in all directions.
The second one is painted on his chest. It’s simple in design, being a heart made up of a multitude of different colors. It’s hard to examine properly in the bathroom mirror, but he can make out a few shades of blue, red, some yellow, a hint of purple, a smattering of green, and black infecting the edges to force it to take shape.
He doesn’t think much of either of them, though. Sebek has no spindle, and that’s enough to confirm what he’s feared the most yet always known.
So he plans to spend as much time with Diasomnia as he can before he starts to run out of it, and if that means cutting his soulmates out of his life, then so be it. He has no doubts they’ll want to spend time with their own soulmates when they find them. Of course, Lilia has no other soulmates, so Sebek will still have that, at least, even if Master Lilia would probably prefer to spend time with Silver instead.
He doubts his soulmates will mind once they get to know him. If he had to meet him, he’d abandon him, too.
“I don’t need it,” he tells himself with a resolute nod. “It’s okay.”
(It sounds better coming out of Silver’s mouth.)
(((
Sebek doesn’t think about his soulmates very often. Or at least, he tries not to.
It’s surprisingly difficult when it seems soulmate drama is happening left and right, on account of multiple people having “magic-induced mental breakdowns”, as he once heard his peers so elegantly describe it.
Riddle doesn’t come to Equestria Club for the first few weeks of school, because he’s too busy getting soulmate counseling with Trey and Che’nya to have any time for extracurriculars. Weeks after his overblot, Leona’s letting Ruggie lay his head on his shoulders as they both nap underneath a nice apple tree. Sebek doesn’t know what exactly happened until a few days after it does, but he notices it when Jamil and Azul are suddenly seen together more often than even Rook and Vil.
(And if Sebek starts to notice Malleus smiles more often, stands up a little straighter, has a new laugh that echoes in the bounce of his steps, grips at the broken mirror on his shoulder more often… Well, Malleus told no one for a reason.)
And all of that is just the tip of a very, very big iceberg.
But Sebek is stubborn, so he doesn’t pay attention to the pattern as much as probably ought to. A part of him doesn’t— no, can’t— believe Malleus could ever be susceptible to magically overexerting himself to the point of becoming a magical beast nobody could contest.
Then the blot is clear up to his knees, and he has to seriously rethink that.
“It’s going to be okay.” Silver gasps out, as he holds Sebek’s hand like a lifeline.
(We’re dying, aren’t we?)
(((
“I still haven’t found them,” Silver mutters one night.
Sebek takes their hot chocolate out of the microwave. Although he’d decided to purge every remnant of his father that existed within him long ago, he could never seem to force the recipe out of his mind.
“Haven’t found who?” Sebek prompts, setting their drinks down on the table.
Silver sighs and draws his cup closer to him. “My other soulmates.”
He raises an eyebrow. “You mean the ones who have that ridiculous cauldron?”
“It’s not ridiculous.” Silver mumbles. “And it’s not just them, either. Rook and I still haven’t found our third one.”
“Third one?”
“The spiral.”
“...How do you know?”
“Rook and I…” He bites his bottom lip. “The Dark Mirror says our bond isn’t complete.”
Sebek is both surprised and resigned to the idea that Silver’s little spiral brotherhood needs to have a third member. And if he’s a little bitter Silver didn’t think Sebek was worthy of notifying until today, that’s nobody’s business but his own.
Besides—it’s not Silver’s fault people love him. That’s how it’s always been, how it’s always going to be. Sebek can’t be replaced because he was never an item of notice, anyway. Might as well get over it and save himself the headache.
(Easier said than done, unfortunately.)
“Why are you worrying over this now?” Sebek asks. “You still have one more year to find them, you know.”
“...What if I don’t?”
“Hm?”
“What if I don’t?” he repeats, voice twisted with anguish.
He’s distressed, a voice in his head whispers. Tread carefully.
“Silver,” he says carefully, squaring his shoulders and trying to pretend to be the understanding younger brother he’s not, “what is this all about?”
“I’m worried I might not have much time left. What happened with Malleus was… I don’t want to feel that way again.” Silver raises his head to look at Sebek, who freezes up under the fragility of his gaze. “He’s not just the man I serve, Sebek. He’s like… my brother. He’s family.”
Am I not family, then? Sebek wants to ask. Do you not care what happens to me? Do I not matter?
Stop it. This isn’t about you.
Sebek can’t afford to be selfish—it’s not his brother’s life that was on the line a few nights ago.
(Speaking of, he should call James some time.)
Silver was an orphan, and not just that, but a human raised in Briar Valley. That’s a fact Sebek has always known, but hasn’t deeply considered before.
And then, a few days ago, he started thinking about his father’s strained smile, and the light in his eyes dimming with every passing day, and he knew. It never mattered to anybody in Bear Valley that his mother was the child of a respected general, just like it doesn’t matter Silver is one, too.
If he doesn’t have Malleus or Lilia, who does Silver have?
(He has Sebek, but that’s hardly a factor.)
“It’s…” He grips his mug tightly. “I’m sure it’ll all turn out okay. In the end.”
Silver stands up right away, squeezing his eyes shut as tears prick at their corners, mutters something about going to bed, and leaves. He doesn’t drink his mug of cocoa at all.
Sebek drinks the rest of his in one gulp, in an effort to pretend the burning in his heart is from drinking too fast.
(((
Sebek is aware of the other first-years just as anybody else is. When you’re at the sight of every significant event that happens, you’re bound to grow a reputation almost as staggering as Malleus’s. He’s heard the whispers in the halls, the ugly rumors floating in class—of a traitorous wolf and defiant cards that refused to fold—but he’s never dared indulge in them.
Once or twice, Lilia has encouraged him to make friends with them. “They’re good kids,” he insisted.
“GOOD KIDS?! With all due respect, have you SEEN the sort of shenanigans that happen around them?!”
“Don’t shout. And yes, I have. But they’re still strong despite it all.” He looked up pensively at nothing in particular. “Certainly stronger than I was at their age.”
“I think they just enjoy being chaotic.” he snarled.
Evidently, though, nobody cares what he thinks. Especially not fate.
(((
“There’s going to be a fair in town this weekend.” Yuu mentions, their quiet voice almost drowned out by the raging tide of the cafeteria. “We were wondering if you might want to come with us?”
There’s an excuse already at the tip of Sebek’s tongue, but he holds it still.
It’s not like he has much else to do. He’s left Malleus alone to let him spend quality time with the rest of his family, which naturally includes Lilia and Silver. If he has to read his textbooks any longer, he might accidentally burn a hole through one of them. Riddle suspended him from Equestria Club after he accidentally lost track of time once, and Silver found him the next day, asleep in one of the empty stables.
In all fairness, there’s nothing stopping him from saying “no” and stalking off.
Nothing, except the hopeful smile on Yuu’s face, and the fact he has nowhere to stalk off to. His schedule has been forcibly cleared for the foreseeable future, and the idea of spending all that time alone feels—
(Silver had asked to see his soulmarks once. Sebek just told him they were in an uncomfortable place. He’d left the subject alone afterwards, but Sebek was left wishing he had pushed more.)
Sebek swallows his pride. He's had to do that a lot lately, and he likes to think he's an expert now. He readjusts his left glove, just enough to peak at the silver coins underneath.
I can do this, he thinks. I can be courteous to them for an afternoon. I can be different. I can.
“I can. Accompany you, I mean.”
Nevermind Silver's been his only friend since before he can remember. Nevermind there's nobody waiting for him at Diasomnia. Nevermind there’s nobody waiting for him after graduation. Nevermind his father hasn't called in five months, which is probably Sebek's fault more than anything. Nevermind there are people all around him everyday, and he’s still so crushingly, unbelievably alone.
Yuu gives him a look, and Sebek knows he's already messed up.
For a brief moment, Sebek is back at his house and Rook is dissecting his very soul with his eyes.
“You… don’t have to come if you don’t want to, you know.” they say.
“No,” he sighs, “no, I'll be there. I’m okay.”
(((
The other freshmen are laughing amongst themselves when he arrives. That’s enough to make him slow down to a snail’s pace, but the sight of Yuu giggling softly behind their hand is what makes him stop dead in his tracks.
Sebek still doesn’t understand why they extended him this invitation—out of pity, perhaps, or maybe another request from Lilia. Or maybe Yuu is genuinely crazy enough to think he could ever be their friend. Given the group they run with, he wouldn’t put it past them.
Maybe this was a mistake. He’s still trying to figure out how to stay in his lane, how to stop inserting himself into situations he has no place in, and maybe it was too soon to think he could do this. He needs to be better, needs to remember he’s not worthy of—
“Sebek?”
It takes Sebek too long to realize they’ve all stopped laughing, and even longer for the self-consciousness to set in under the weight of their stares. He didn’t bother doing his hair this morning, and now the strands are curled up against the frame of his face, just the way his father does it. The beanie is cozy, the hoodie isn’t too small, and the sneakers are infinitely more comfortable than his dress shoes. But maybe he needs to stop wearing uniforms so much, because they’re all a bit too loose to be comfortable.
“What are you looking at?” he snaps. “You wanted me to be here, and I have made myself known. That is all. There’s no need to make a spectacle out of it!”
A few seconds of silence pass, before Ace puts a smarmy grin on his face.
“Daaaaamn, Sebek!” he laughs. “Where have you been hiding all this sexiness this whole time? I just assumed you sucked the joy out of everything you wore.”
It’s a… shockingly thoughtful sentence. It’s a little bullying, a little nice, a little acknowledgement of the effort Sebek put into it.
Ace slings an arm around his shoulders and seamlessly pushes him into their group. “Now come on. Epel and Deuce are gonna race on the blastcycle track and I am not losing a bet against Ortho of all people.”
“You have a 98.7% chance of losing!” Ortho informs, a bit too cheerfully.
“That’s still a solid 1.3%! And why do you even want my money, you’re rich!”
“You’re the one who started the betting pool, Ace.” Jack shakes his head. “You made your bed, might as well lie in it.”
The conversation starts to flow all around him like a never ending river. It’s cold and brittle, and he feels no less like an outsider than he did when he arrived. There’s a whole year’s worth of history and solidarity he’s never going to understand because he was too caught up in himself to know.
But then Ace playfully bumps him in the shoulder with a fist, drawing his attention back to the race track.
Sebek shakes his head.
This isn’t about you, he reminds himself firmly.
His anxiety lingers in the back of his mind, rooted firmly in place as it’s been since the beginning of ever.
For now, though? He can live with it. That’s okay.
(He wonders how long it’ll take for them to tire of him, too.)
(((
Malleus has been spending less and less time at Diasomnia, under the guise of shopping at Sam’s shop… except buying anything at the store a few minutes walk away shouldn’t take more than an hour. More than once, Sebek has caught him looking pensively at the black spiral adorning his arm like a decaying vine. It doesn’t take a genius to put the pieces together.
(He’s been learning to give him more privacy. Whatever they talk about on chilly evenings in Octavinelle, it’s none of his business.)
The freshmen, he learns quickly, are like that. Sheltering each other from a school that couldn't care less what becomes of them.
Sebek's problems seem so miniscule compared to theirs. All he has to complain about is being a little less loved than he wants to be, and what sort of selfish crybaby does he have to be to act so self-centered? Who is he to act like he belongs in this house of broken people?
But little Ortho is warm when he clings onto Sebek’s arm. Epel doesn’t hesitate to stick up for him, even if it gets him in trouble. Jack is thoughtful, doesn’t talk about anything if Sebek doesn’t want to. Deuce is kind, Ace distracts him, and Yuu puts a hand on his shoulder and says they’ll always have a place for him.
Sebek Zigvolt is a selfish person. Even though he knows he should, he can’t bring himself to pull away.
(((
Sebek knew the topic of soulmates would come up eventually. He just hoped it wouldn't have to be so soon.
They're at Ramshackle, having a “picnic” on the floor of the main room. A plaid blanket is laid rather pointlessly on the wooden planks, and Epel's brought along so many apple goods, it’ll take days for the apple scent to wash off his hair. Sebek is sitting on his knees awkwardly, watching as they all pass around plates without wiping their hands, talk with their mouths full, and somehow Jack’s the only one who cares about basic dining etiquette.
(“No, no, I would not like to have your fork that was just in your mouth.” Jack glares at Epel. “I’ll eat with my hands. At least they're cleaner than your saliva.”
Epel only shrugs. “Suit yerself.”)
As always, as soon as all the plates are passed out, their conversation flows naturally and goes by in the blink of an eye. One second they’re talking about the Film Research Club’s new production, and the next they’re asking if it’s possible for Deuce to jump from one window to another to save him time. Sebek might be able to follow the conversation more if he contributed more, but why bother them even more with his pointless comments?
But then again, that might be rude… They did invite him here, after all, and they might think he’s looking down on them by not talking as much as he usually does.
A fleeting panic grips him. If it turns out they don’t like having him here, then he’s just back where he started again. He promised he’d be better this time, swore on his very soul, but has he not gotten any better at all—?
Of course, keeping out of the discussion means he’s thrown for a loop when Ace says this:
“...and so this special little guy…” He jabs a sharp elbow into Deuce’s arm, eliciting an indignant cry. “...decided the best thing to do was to throw a cauldron on me.”
Sebek chokes on his apple juice. Epel busts out laughing and Deuce turns bright red.
Ortho tilts his head curiously. “Of all the things, why a cauldron? That seems like quite the logical leap.”
“Yeah, actually,” Yuu chimes in, “ why a cauldron? I mean, I would’ve expected you to summon a blastcycle or something.”
The blush doesn’t die down at all as Deuce stammers, “W-Well… D-Don’t laugh, but I… I’d just gotten my soulmarks, and they were all I could think about for a while…”
“Oh yeah!” Epel snaps his fingers, then points his index at Deuce. “Ya mentioned that guy before on the beach. Got all starry-eyed and everythin’.”
“Aww, does Deucey have a cruuush~?”
“No!” he squeaked. “I just thought he was cool, that’s all!”
Jack flicks his ear to the side, looking uneasy. “Have you… met him?”
“Ah, no… but he’s awesome, I’m sure!” Deuce suddenly pulls up the sleeve of his sweater to show off the back of his hand, and everybody else hurriedly crowds around him.
“I don’t think “cool” is the right word.” Epel snorts.
“More like “danger-prone”.” Yuu mumbles.
Jack puts a sympathetic hand on Deuce’s shoulder. “Good luck. You’re gonna need it.”
“GUYS!” Deuce screeched embarrassedly. “Don’t make fun of him!”
One part of Sebek is oddly touched that Deuce is willing to show off something so personal in front of them. The other part is a little off-put that he’s so shameless with it, after all the time Sebek has spent ensuring the concealment of his own.
Both parts are quickly swallowed up when Ortho grips Sebek’s arm, gently guiding them both over to where Deuce is sitting, and Sebek peers over Epel’s shoulder to see.
…
…
“I have to go.” Sebek announces abruptly, standing up and making a show of wiping down his pants.
Deuce startles. “I— What—?”
Ortho puts his hands on his hips. “You can’t just—!”
Ace pinches the bridge of his nose. “Wait, wait, hold on—”
Epel bristles. “What?!”
“Sebek, what’s wrong?” Yuu asks, a look of hurt flashing across their face.
Sebek pauses. He clenches his hands into fists and lets his anger— hurt, frustration, whatever this is— out in one breath. He’s being irrational again—they don’t deserve this.
“I’m okay,” he assures, “but I must get going now.”
(((
But when Sebek does get to Diasomnia, he sees Lilia and Malleus fretting over the dining table. It’s probably nothing that concerns him— you’re not a part of this, Sebek— but he does regrettably need to ask where Silver is. Hopefully they won’t be too annoyed that he's interrupting.
He clears his throat. “Greetings, Master Lilia! Malleus.” he nods. “I was wondering if you might be able to tell me where Silver is.”
They glance at each other, worriedly.
Lilia speaks up first. “Locked up in his room. The poor dear has been so down lately, and he won’t tell either of us why.”
Malleus runs a hand through his hair. “Silver’s never hungry anymore, never thirsty, he says he’s tired, but he doesn’t sleep…”
“...Insomnia?”
“It is quite odd, isn’t it?” Lilia sighs. “But we can’t do anything about it if we don’t know what’s causing it.”
Why Sebek is only hearing about this now when this sounds like it’s been going on for days is a question for later. For now, he blames it on Malleus and Lilia not trusting him to handle the situation tactfully, and well, he can’t say he doesn’t deserve that. It makes sense, given his general incompetence.
Memories of hot chocolate and a surprisingly late night spring into his head. Sebek had raised his eyebrows when Silver stumbled over to his bedroom door claiming he couldn’t sleep. It was only the symptoms of a bigger problem, but Sebek’s already tried, and he couldn’t fix them. This goes beyond incompetence. He doesn’t have a spindle. He’s not able to mend this.
…But he does know someone who might.
(((
Sebek waits until he’s in his bedroom to take out his cellphone. As much as he despises having to hide this from Lilia and Malleus, he suspects Silver would appreciate some privacy on the matter.
“Hello, hu— Yuu,” he greets, as politely as he can, “is Spade there with you? I was wondering if you could put him on the phone.”
“Oh,” Yuu replies, “hi, Sebek. I didn’t expect you to call so… soon. How are you?”
They sound as meek as a mouse, and Sebek grimaces with the implication that it's probably his fault. He’ll have to apologize for it later. He remembers noticing Yuu doesn’t have a calendar…
No. No, he’s getting off-track.
“I assure you, I’m fine,” he says, “but I really do need to speak to Spade. Is he there?”
“...Yeah, he is. I’ll go get him.”
A light thunk indicates that Yuu’s put their phone down. Sebek waits until the audio crackles, and a familiarly hesitant voice says, “Hello?”
“Spade,” he says, nodding, even though nobody’s there to see it, “I need to talk to you about—”
“W-W-Wait, Sebek,” Deuce stammers out, “are you alright? You walked out so fast, I— I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable…”
“You did nothing of the sort, so stop apologizing. And anyhow, this isn't about me. It’s about Silver.”
“...Silver?” Deuce inquires curiously. “Is… Is something wrong? I guess he has been a bit down lately…”
“So you’ve noticed?”
“I like to wave to him in the hallway, but these days, he doesn't seem to notice me.” Deuce clarifies, a little melancholic. “I hope he's doing okay.”
“No, unfortunately. But I do believe you can help.”
“Me? How?”
“Your soulmark. I know who else it belongs to.”
“Oh.” Deuce utters simply, which is a much more lackluster response than Sebek was anticipating. He gives it a few more seconds, before it all finally clicks into place in Deuce's head.
“Oh, OH! Hold on, are—” Deuce cuts himself off. Then, in a stifled, shrinking tone, he asks, “Are you sure?”
“Tch. Are you doubting me?”
“But Silver is… Silver! He’s so nice and cool and talented, and I’m… me.”
And you think I don’t know what that feels like? “You are more than you think, Spade. And I do believe you’re the one he needs the most right now. Be sneaky about it, though—Lilia and Malleus are vultures when it comes to him.”
Deuce is silent. For a moment, Sebek thinks he might not answer.
“Okay,” he says finally, “I’ll be there in ten minutes.”
He pauses, then adds, “Sebek?”
“Yes?”
“...I think he needs you, too.”
He hangs up immediately after that, and Sebek is alone in the silence again.
He throws his phone down onto his bed with more force than necessary. There’s a venom filling his mouth that tastes more bitter than any caffeine he’s ever had. He swallows it down, refuses to let it linger.
He rolls his hands into fists. Tells himself he’s not supposed to be so selfish anymore.
“It’s okay.” he mumbles to himself, before his tongue can bear no more.
(((
Sebek doesn’t stick around Diasomnia long enough to find out if Deuce actually made it there or not. His heart has been scooped out of his chest, and he needs to find a way to get it back before school starts again tomorrow. He doesn’t actually know if he’ll find it here in Night Raven College, and logically, he knows he’s not supposed to be here at 9 in the evening.
But then again, he’s nocturnal, it’s 9 in the evening, and there’s nobody here. Who’s a little wandering going to hurt?
CRASH!
Spoke too soon.
A shrill scream pierces Sebek’s ears as he bumps into someone who grabs his tie and sends them both crashing down to the ground. The sound of shattering plates and the wet splat of food goes off all around him, and it’s a miracle none of it ends up on him.
After the cacophony settles down, he growls. “WHO IN TWISTED WONDERLAND IS TRYING TO EAT AT THIS HOUR?!”
Beside him, someone yelps. “S-Sebek?! Is that you?”
Sebek splutters. “ASIM?!”
“SHHHHH!” Kalim slaps a hand over his mouth. “Don’t give us both away! We’re not even supposed to be here!”
Sebek grumbled, wrenching Kalim’s hand away. “You think I don’t know that? And you’re the one who thought carrying multiple plates in the dark was a good idea!”
It’s not until the words leave his mouth Sebek realizes they’re in the cafeteria. Even with his night vision, he apparently tuned out so much he didn’t know where he was going.
He sighs. “Doesn’t Scarabia have its own kitchen? Why didn’t you go there instead?”
Kalim is taken off-guard by the question, staggering backwards. “I…” He glances behind his shoulder. “It’s just… I don’t want to be there right now. It gets kinda lonely there, y’know?”
The blunt honesty throws Sebek off-kilter a little. He keeps forgetting there are genuinely nice people in this school, and it’s not just Silver.
The thought of Silver sours his mood again, and he grits his teeth.
“I see.” he says stiffly. “Well, I shall not stop you… again, that is. Good night, Asim.”
“Wait, Sebek,” Kalim interjects, putting a hand on Sebek’s arm to keep him from merely brushing past him, “what are you doing up? I never thought you’d be the kind of person to break curfew.”
“I’m not,” he seethes, “but if you must know, there is an incident occurring at Diasomnia that I desire no part in. So, I have removed myself from the situation until it clears up.”
“Incident?” Kalim raises an eyebrow. “What kind of incident?”
“As if someone like you needs to know.” he snarks. “But I imagine you’ll figure it out sooner or later. Now if you’ll excuse me—”
“Wait!” Kalim yanks his arm back.
“For the love of the Thorn Fairy— WHAT DO YOU WANT NOW?!”
"There’s no need to be rude! I just wanted to know if you wanted to come to Scarabia with me!”
“And why would I want to do that?”
“That thing at Diasomnia’s going to take a while, right? And hanging out at Scarabia by myself is kinda boring.” Kalim explains. “So, I was thinkin’, maybe you could come back with me!”
Sebek glares at Kalim’s wide, ruby red eyes. He’s seen the same glint of optimism in Silver’s eyes, whenever he talked about his dreams of the fae and humanity living together in harmony. Sebek would listen, and then tell him he was being stupid right afterwards. It was easy for Silver to say, being sheltered and loved his whole life. But Sebek was the one who had to come home with scars and burn marks everyday—he always thought Silver was in no position to talk about harmony.
He knows better now. He knows Silver has a point, a tragedy behind his words he’s just always been very good at hiding. Always trying to be useful, yet now has to live his life thinking that he’s nothing but a burden.
(He’s not, but Silver doesn’t listen to him. Not that he blames him.)
Sebek wants to be happy for Silver, but that’s just not possible right now.
“Sebek?” Kalim probes, retracting his hand from Sebek’s uniform. “You… don’t have to come if you don’t want to, you know.”
Sebek looks back at Kalim, his memory flashing back to a time that feels forever ago now.
“No,” he sighs, “no, I'll be there. I’m okay.”
Before he can stop himself, Sebek feels the numbness starting to take over his brain again. He loses all feeling in his body and starts to slump over.
“H- Hey!”
Kalim catches Sebek in his arms before he can fall face-first onto the ground. But Kalim is too weak to hold up someone 20 centimeters taller than him, so they both end up falling to their knees. Kalim pays the cold ground beneath them no mind, as he caresses Sebek’s back and leans his head against Sebek’s own.
“Hey, hey…” he repeats patiently. “What’s wrong?”
Sebek’s hands are pressed flat against the ground. There’s no further down he can go, but he feels like he’s going to sink through the floor any moment now.
“Is this about what happened with Malleus?”
He’s tired. He sleeps 8 hours a day, he exercises frequently, he studies from dawn until dusk, he’s done everything right, so why is he still tired—
“It’s fine. You don’t need to tell me.” Kalim assures, reaching up to run his fingers through his hair. It ruins its slicked-back style, but he’s too tired to care anymore, and it feels nice, so, as Ace says, “fuck it”.
Kalim takes a sharp breath then, his hands slowing to a stop, and through some divine foresight and achingly familiar hindsight, Sebek knows what he’s going to say in the second before he says it, please no —
“It’s okay.” Kalim says, his voice wrought with unshed tears and weighed down with horrible, terrible understanding. “I know it doesn’t feel like it right now—it never does. But tomorrow will be a little more okay than yesterday, I promise.”
Sebek hiccups. “Liar.”
The Scarabian laughs wetly. “Fair enough.”