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They sat in the van in silence, freezing their asses off. Christopher was chewing on his finger nails, practically seeing mirages of cigarettes.
“You shouldn’t do that, you know.” Paulie looked very grossed out.
“The fuck you talking about?”
“You know how many germs are under your finger nails?” Paulie began his lecture.
Christopher rolled his eyes.
“Think about it, when you go take a piss, you always wash your hands? And then you shake hands with other guys, you think they always wash their hands? You know how many cocks you got sitting under those nails?”
“Ah, Jesus,” Christopher muttered and immediately stopped biting his nails.
“Do what you like, what fuckin’ difference do it make to me.” Paulie shrugged, as if he wasn’t constantly telling people what to do.
“You’re always with the fuckin’ germs, maybe it should be you seeing the shrink.”
“Hey. Watch it.” Paulie’s warned him, doing his signature point with shivering hands.
They sat in silence again, both looking in the opposite direction from each other.
Christopher blew air out of his mouth to see his breath, trying to trick himself into thinking it was smoke.
Paulie was still thinking about how unfair it was that the Russian prick had a better TV than him.
“What even was the Cuban missile crisis?” Christopher asked.
“I thought you saw that movie?” Paulie was growing more irritated by Christopher every second.
“That don’t mean I paid attention to it.”
Paulie sighed. “A bunch of the commies were flying missiles.”
“Who?” he asked with a confused look on his face.
“The Russians.”
“The fuck does that have to do with Cuba?”
“It’s complicated,” he grunted.
Christopher turned to look at Paulie again, with a scowl on his face. “You don’t know what the fuck you’re talkin’ about, do you?!”
Paulie shot his head around to glare at him. “Of course I know what I’m fuckin’ talking about, I did 4 years in the army!”
He rolled his eyes. “Again with the fuckin’ army! How many times you gonna tell me that? Look what good it did us, we’re freezing to death here!”
“Don’t be so fuckin’ dramatic, the skip’s comin’ to get us!”
“Yeah, you keep telling yourself that.”
“Quit pissing your panties. I’ve survived worse,” Paulie said arrogantly.
“What, in the army?”
Paulie narrowed his eyes at him. “I got survival skills. All you know is sittin’ on your ass and putting shit up your nose.” He emphatically pointed at himself and then his nostril.
“Survival skills!” Christopher couldn’t stop himself from laughing at how ridiculous that was. “You lost your fuckin’ shoe, Paulie!”
That really pissed Paulie off. “Watch your fuckin’ mouth, Chrissy. If you wasn’t with me you’d have died hours ago!”
“If I wasn’t with you, I wouldn’t have given a shovel to an eight foot fuckin’ Russian!” Christopher gestured at the gash on his head. “You know what, I wouldn’t even fuckin’ be here ‘cause I wouldn’t have went for the guy to begin with! I mean, what the fuck even was that, Paulie?!”
“He lunged at me!”
“Oh, come on!” He threw his head back. “You were just jealous of his fuckin’ TV.”
“I got a TV! What do I got to be jealous of?” Paulie played dumb.
“Your TV looks like a fuckin’ cinder block with a hole in the front.”
“You’ve never even seen my TV!”
“I can tell!”
They gave each other dirty looks and after a moment of silence once again looked away from each other.
Christopher went back to biting his nails, and Paulie angrily shook his head when he heard it.
“Fuckin’ disgusting.”