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“Don’t worry Mrs. Cosay, they’re in good hands,” Yellow reassured, all faux confidence.
This was a lie.
They were not in good hands.
In fact, these hands were so bad.
The door shut with an air of finality, leaving the five of them in silence.
“So…”
“Nope,” Lake said, marching off. “I'm too old for a babysitter.”
“You’re right,” Yellow agreed, nodding sagely. “You’re too old for one babysitter. Which is why you need two.”
In fact, one could almost say that three babysitters would be a more appropriate amount. But alas, there were not three people who existed on this earth that could withstand the troublesomeness that was the Cosays children.
Lake growled in response, throwing the bird over their shoulder as they went to hide in their room.
“I’m hungry,” Nate said, clearly used to having a babysitter and not offended by Lily and Yellow’s presence in the slightest. “Can we have supper?”
“Isn’t it a little early?” Lily asked, but Jesse only shrugged. “We usually have a snack before, and eat later.”
“What kind of snacks?” Yellow asked, eyeing the cupboards in a way that implied they would be doing the eating.
“I want a grilled cheese!” Nate announced, bulldozing their conversation in the way that only a small child could. “Make me a grilled cheese!”
Jesse frowned at him, the perfect picture of I’m not mad, just disappointed. Nate stopped his chant for grilled cheese and cleared his throat. “I mean, could you make me a grilled cheese? Please?”
He threw on his best puppy dog eyes, blinking up at the two of them with watery eyes.
“Oh no,” whispered Lily, inaudibly, as images of carnage long since past reflected in dark shadows on her face. She took a breath, readying her nerves to possibly recommend something else, anything else–
Yellow threw an arm over Lily’s shoulder, unaware of their moral conundrum and inner turmoil. “Of course we can make you grilled cheese!”
This was also a lie. A pattern was beginning to emerge, unbeknownst to the soon-to-be victims.
“Where’s your guys' uhhh, pans? And butter,” Yellow asked, already making his way to the kitchen. Jesse followed along, entirely oblivious as he rattled around in cupboards and helped them pull out the ingredients they would need.
Nate sat at the table, a plate ready as he complained about how his stomach hurt. It was clearly just dramatics as he clutched it and warbled on about how he hadn’t been in this much pain since the war.
The sound of sizzling permeated the kitchen as they set to slapping the butter and bread into the pan. Sure, making grilled cheese had led to some… undesirable outcomes in the past.
But this time would be different! The fate of these small, sweet children was in their hands. It had to turn out.
“Hey Lily, maybe you should try flipping it,” Yellow suggested, the memory of floor-grilled cheese still seared into his mind.
“Actually, and I’m just spitballing here, but maybe we quit while we’re ahead?” Their voice lowered to a murmur. “While the Cosays still have a house to speak of?”
Yellow gaped at her, aghast. “And what? You want to feed Nate toast? Plain toast? He’s starving!”
They gestured at him with both arms for emphasis. Nate gave a pitiful whine.
Lily looked at him and paused, considering, not without guilt. “Okay, we can compromise. How do you feel about raw ingredients?”
Jesse seemed worried, “Mom said we shouldn’t eat raw food after Lake ate an uncooked steak-”
“Lily! These kids are in our care, we can’t feed them raw food! What if they get food poisoning?” Yellow clutched Jesse for emphasis, patting his head to really point out just how tiny they were.
“Please, they’re kids.” Lily flapped a hand. “They need to build up immunities. I used to eat dirt. It’s all part of the process.”
“Well, now you just sound like a boomer-”
“Is something burning?” Nate asked, his head still laying on the table.
They all turned to stare at the smoking piece of bread. “Uh oh.”
With their wicked ninja skills, Yellow used a spatula and flipped the bread and cheese over. It flew a surprising height into the air, flipping several times with the grace of a seasoned Olympic diver.
And landed on the floor.
It hit with a defeated splat of cheese, the side facing them burned black all the way through.
The group blinked down at it in perfect sync. Varying degrees of shock, surprise, and anguish.
“Something smells good.”
They all turned to see Lake, standing in the doorway to the kitchen.
“What?” They asked, looking miffed. “I got hungry.”
Yellow looked down at the burned, floor-grilled cheese and thought about Jesse’s earlier comment on Lake and raw steak.
“Uhhh, yeah. We were just making food, actually, just- just give us a minute.” They shooed Lake and Nate out to the living room.
“Jesse,” Lily said with all the graveness of a funeral director. “I’m giving you a very important task of finding something edible for Nate.”
“What about the grilled–”
Yellow hissed. “No! We don’t speak of it! This never happened!”
“... Uh huh.” Begrudgingly he dug through the cupboards, pulling out some cereal for him and the others.
“You’ll only need two bowls,” Yellow said, putting the extra one back.
“What? But there’s three of us…”
They all looked at the cheesy goodness still oozing on the floor.
“Only two.”
“Right.”
He made his quick escape to the living room, the sound of easy chatter drifting through the air. Yellow bent down over the lifeless sandwich, wiping tears from his eyes.
“You did well,” they whispered, to the crumbling edges of the bread. “You did your damned best. It wasn’t your fault.”
“I think I know whose fault it was,” said Lily, crouching before the burnt remains and poking them with a finger.
They sniffed, sucking the snot back up their nose. “I know, I know… I’ve learned my lesson this time.”
“That's what you said last time,” Lily grumbled. “And the time before that. And the time before-”
“Well! This time I mean it!” Yellow wiggled their fingers underneath the charred and gooey mush. “Besides, we can still get some use out of this. Wouldn’t wanna leave evidence for the Cosays to find.”
Lily contemplated his words, then nodded. “We’ll have to swear the kids to secrecy.”
“Yeah, this gig pays well, it’d be a bust to lose it over…” They both looked at the disgrace of a sandwich before them, letting that sentence finish itself. “I’ll bribe them, I brought candy just in case this happened.”
“So no blood oath this time,” Lily frowned. “Probably for the best.”
“You know the blood oaths are just for us,” Yellow said, blushing, “You’re special. I wouldn’t make a blood oath with just anyone.”
Lily placed a hand over her heart, touched. “You always know just what to say.”
“Thanks,” they said, tucking their behind their ear before remembering himself. “Alright, time to go give this monstrosity to the living, breathing garbage disposal in the other room.”
They both made their way to the living room and presented the sandwich to Lake, who took it eagerly. None the wiser.
Jesse watched in abject horror as they snarfed it down with glee.
“Man, what was that? The texture was super unique.” They gave the two babysitters a considerate look. “I guess you two aren’t that bad to keep around.”
Jesse looked like he was about to object and Yellow slapped a hand over his mouth. “Anyways! Who wants candy!”
“Oh! Me!”