Chapter Text
If the summer could be utter shit, this had been it and beyond—a pile of reeking excrement that had tried to bury me under it from the moment summer break had started. The old hag had been even worse than earlier, spiraling down the rabbit hole with her drinking after that idiot left her, finding her under some random guy from the bar down the street. Not that it should have been any surprise, since he had been the one behind the last breakup, those following the same routine one after another.
Yet somehow that turned out to be my fault. I should have stopped her from making the second biggest mistake of her life. Again, I was the one she regretted the most, and she wanted me out of her house by the end of the summer. Which I gladly accepted. I should have left sooner, but I had only managed to get some money from Mom's stashes she had gathered all over the house after she had received money from Dad for my tuition fees. No one needed to pay those when I already had a scholarship that covered my studies, but that jerk probably didn't know. Mom wouldn't shoot the milking cow, and I only engaged in any contact with him when I was at a deep low, drunk as hell, asking him to send money to Deku's account to get me enough money to survive the nights fueled with booze and late-night tacos.
Luckily, Mom's memory was as reliable as her parenting skills; she had forgotten where she had hidden the money, and being too wasted to look for it properly, it had fallen into my hands, a stash at a time. It wasn't much; Dad clearly didn't think his sorry excuse of a son could make it to anything other than community college, but it was enough to finally leave the shithole behind, worth rent in the dorms until February, so I would have time to come up with some job to pay the rest. The last one wasn't hiring anymore, not that I wanted to even piss in their direction anymore, so I needed to find something else this time.
I took a last quick sweep through the room I had lived my whole shitty life in after my parents divorced. It wasn't much, but it was in better shape than any other room in this house. The walls still had some childish tapestry with air balloons on them, some dumpster-dived Playboy and metal band posters over the bed, making it a grotesque combination with the bedding, which was mostly from neighbors—Winnie the Pooh and such. But they were cleaner than the ones Mom had, stained and filled with cigarette burns, smelling moldy when she let them dry in a pile next to the washer. The furniture was also gathered from the dumpsters when someone got kicked out of their apartment, but they served their purpose just fine, except for the bed I couldn't straighten my legs in. Bringing a bed from the streets was a big fucking no. Mine had lumps, and the filling was barely there anymore, but luckily I didn't have a problem sleeping in it—only if Mom had granted me some quiet to sleep. Usually, it was either hearing her cursing while wasted, waking up from her afternoon zonk, or hearing her under some hobo who was declaring their love to her loins, not giving a shit about me hearing everything. Not that everyone knew I was even there, hiding in my room if I wasn't on a gaming trip or at Deku's or at some party, doing my best to forget this place even existed.
But not anymore. I wish this place would burn up, Mom with it, when there was no way she could jump back on her feet anymore—needles accompanying the bottles on the coffee table, more dangerous guys coming in and out, some of them trying my door when Mom had passed out. Not like that hadn't happened before; now they had just been more persistent, one trying to break down the door, yelling that they knew I was there, how I should finish Mom's job there, that I looked enough like her. I did look like her, to the point that I sometimes had a very hard time looking at myself any more than I needed to. Other times, I took a big advantage of inheriting her looks, which had been stunning until the first year of her single life after the divorce from my dad.
So if there was a time to leave, it was now. I closed the door behind me, only having two sports bags for my belongings, new bedding I had bought for this moment weighing the other. I should have left sooner, but somehow you keep on wishing that things would finally change, but they didn't. There weren't even those false promises that things would change; they had stopped the moment I learned how to take care of myself, and that was long ago.
Mom was sitting on the couch, sipping her sixth beer of the day, the same channel on that had always been there, her chest almost bare and hair tangled up—a shadow of the beauty she had been, from the earliest memories I had of her when things weren't like this. I stopped behind her, trying to decide if I should let her know that I was leaving, not coming back again, but what after that? Goodbye? I wish you well? See you?
Nothing really matched, so I squeezed the backrest's cracked leather, imagining her bony shoulder in its place, the one I felt nowadays only when I tried to turn her on her side on the floor or tried to keep her from hitting anymore, when even now my cheek was bruised and deep nail scratches were on my forearms. There had been years when there hadn't been any warm contact between us—not even a quick caress or a hug. The time I turned legally adult, the abuse had taken a deeper dive towards hell when she had started to hurt me. First, the contact had been welcomed, my twisted mind falsely turning it into something about it being even something. She hadn't directly hurt me when I was underage, just neglecting me and telling me I was worth nothing. In those moments, I dug down to the times when my life had been full of exaggerated praises towards me; everything about me had been more than perfect, and I had used that like bubble wrap for all these years, building such an obnoxious persona to present to those I didn't need to have closer contact with. To this day, people really didn't even want to know me, my reputation traveling faster than a chance to be anything else.
I almost left without saying a word. That had been my plan—to let her know that I was more grown up than her, able to hold my temper—but I felt the hot, vision-whitening snap in my brain when she didn't even flinch at my being there, the chance that she would see me for the last time in the air very clear, and still fucking nothing.
"YOU REALLY DON'T CARE A FUCK ABOUT ME?! I'M FUCKING LEAVING NOW, SO I HOPE YOUR SORRY ASS OF A LIFE STARTS FUCKING GLOWING AFTER I'M NOT HERE ANYMORE!"
She was fast for being shitfaced already, and she stood up and wobbled next to me, my betrayed inner child still hoping that she was coming for a hug, to tell me to stay, but her palm slapped my face, prickling pain over the bruise she had given me yesterday when I had tried to make her not smoke on the couch, her ring, which she falsely wore still, making a gash over my cheek that started to drip all over my hoodie.
"You ungrateful son of a bitch! I didn't raise you to talk to me like that! It's fucking time you leave, go ruin someone else's life and let me be. I have given you everything!"
"EVERYTHING?! YOU CALL THIS DIRTY PLACE EVERYTHING?! YOU DIDN'T RAISE ME AT ALL, I HAVE FUCKING SURVIVED UNDER THE SAME ROOF, YOU DRUNK BITCH!"
I cried out loud, and she went for my hair, tearing it wherever she got a hold of it, shaking it like she had done so many times before.
"FUCK, YOU ARE JUST LIKE YOUR DAD, A MISERABLE CRYBABY! YOU THINK ANYONE CAN LIKE YOU? NO ONE IS EVER GOING TO LOVE YOU! I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE; I'M JUST WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO TELL ME THAT YOU HAVE SCREWED EVERYTHING UP, ENDING UP KNOCKING SOME SKANK UP OR BEATING SOMEONE. I KNOW YOU WILL FAIL!"
"WHO DO YOU THINK I LEARNED THOSE FROM, WHEN THE DOOR KEEPS SPINNING LIKE IT'S REVOLVING?! I HOPE YOU CHOKE ON YOUR OWN FUCKING PUKE WHEN YOU PASS OUT AFTER THOSE!" I screamed and kicked the coffee table upside down, having her attack me even harder, tearing the neckline of my t-shirt when she was unable to control her force.
"I'LL CALL THE COPS ON YOU! I'LL TELL THEM THAT YOU ROBBED AND BEAT ME! HELP, MY SON IS ATTACKING ME, SOMEONE HELP!"
Mom was screaming her lungs out, so loud that someone would definitely hear her and believe that I was attacking her, acting up panic in her voice. Who wouldn't believe? Who would think that her twenty-year-old athlete son was the victim here? I tried to calm down enough to leave before that happened; I didn't want to end up in jail, which I had managed to avoid my whole life.
"Fuck, you are disgusting. I have never laid my hand on you, not even once, even when I have wanted to. See you at your grave; I’ll come piss on it once you rot there alone," I mumbled, half crying inside, when she let go and slumped back down on the couch like nothing had ever happened, taking a new bottle from the floor. I saw her pause the bottle on her lips, but she didn't turn to look back; that was my sign to just leave. I kicked my shoes on, took my bike, and rode to the only place I could go.
The sun was shining outside; it had that weird cold light on it that made everything look somehow too bright to the point that the colors changed. My bike was leaning against the wall, locked with some chains when I couldn't find a proper lock for it. The too-long grass had dents over the cycle, and the rest of the lawn was scattered with broken plastic chairs that hardly showed from under the growth. The metal gate was hanging from one hinge, the brick wall with the mossy plate that read 'Bakugou' on it being the only thing standing in its place here. I wanted to kick it, tear it from its place so no one would know who was living behind those splintered doors, but I didn't have time or tools for it now, and it was far too late for it anyway.
I steered down the road, soon entering a cleaner part of the city with little houses and immaculate greenery before them, and children playing in clean clothes. Ours had been the same, but over time it all had changed; now it was considered the bad part of the area, and I couldn't blame anyone for saying it, the curtain so clear between this and that.
I left my bike next to Deku's and knocked on the door, waiting for him to answer it when his car was in the driveway, rusty and green, so he was at home.
"Oh, hi Kacchan! I didn't know you were coming..." Deku started, but a quick glance at my looks and bags let him know why I was there, and he let me walk past him into their home, which was the total opposite of mine. Every surface in the house was clean; it smelled like softener and fresh air, the windows had pretty floral drapes on them, and the floors were ones you could walk on with your bare feet without fearing to cut them on glass or step into a pool of piss.
"I'm sorry for storming in here like this, but..." I swallowed, and Deku finished my sentence.
"You finally left?"
I nodded at him and stood in my place when he gave me a quick hug that I answered by ruffling his hair quickly before I shoved him off me.
"It was the right time," I shrugged and tried to sniff without him noticing, but nothing passed the greenette, just that he had learned not to address my feelings out loud, just closed the door we had left open.
"She hit you again?" Deku asked worriedly and went to their freezer, picking up some frozen peas and handing them to me.
"Last night and just when I left, but the bruise is from yesterday, so I think it's too late for trying to keep it cold," I mumbled, but took the bag; the best part of it was anyway getting to eat the peas after they melted, Deku well aware of it when he smiled at it.
"As I said earlier, you can stay here; Mom is fine with it, and she is still at I Island with Dr. Toshinori, so you can settle in without her fussing around," Deku smiled, and I grimaced at the thought of them on that island, which was the place to be for middle-aged couples who had kids old enough to be left alone at home and go on vacation without them, to get wasted and shag their hearts out in fancy rooms. Yet I would bet my ass that it was way nicer than seeing the stuff my mom did with her partners, so I shrugged it off and sat down on the couch. It felt nice; I hardly sat on Mom's, so having a clean one under me felt like a piece of heaven.
"I don't mind your mom fussing," I mumbled and meant it, as she had been more of a mother to me than my own had ever been. It just took some time for both of us, as I wasn't actually the one you wanted your kid to hang out with, and I wasn't used to being petted and tucked to sleep, which she did if I stayed the night here. But I didn't want to be a burden, so I stayed as little as possible and asked her not to make a child protection notice so I wouldn't be taken to another city. I knew I would have ended up in some really wrong crowd there. Inko had done as I asked, instead inviting me for dinners and giving me some lousy jobs like nailing their fence's loose boards back in place to give me money.
"She wanted to remind us that she doesn't allow drinking in the house..."
"You mean me?" I gritted and felt my ears blush. Inko had every right to remind me of that, given some past accidents, but still, it sucked to be told not to do that, that she still didn't trust me wholly.
"I won't; you know that. I respect Inko too much to do that, and I don't plan to go drinking to drown my sorrows; that's how Mom started her bright career. There will be enough parties once school starts..."
Deku didn't look so sure, but he knew I wouldn't do anything when I was at their home. I'm not stupid, plus school starts in two weeks, and I'll move to the dorms before that, so a couple of weeks wasn't even that bad. I wasn't in the mood for it anyway, seeing how the summer had gone with Mom's drinking.
Not that I had a problem with it; I wasn't addicted to it. I just kind of ended up being shitfaced every time I drank. Maybe I sometimes got in trouble for not being able to hold the last pieces of my cool and had too many one-night stands on my record, but it wasn't like I needed those.
"You have a plan? Did you get the room in the dorm?"
"I got it, but apparently, I was late as hell with it, and I ended up in one of those two-bedroom apartments where you share the bathroom with another apartment, so I will have three roommates..." I huffed, and Deku couldn't hold his chuckle at the thought of me living with some strangers. In general, I hate people, more or less, Deku and Inko and the guys on our team being exceptions that I tolerate in small portions, so living with strangers sounded like a living hell of its own. But I really don't have a choice, so I just need to suck it up.
"I bet it goes well," he snickered, and I hit him with the pillow.
"I'll just bury myself in my room and fake I'm dead. I really don't have much time to spend there anyway; I need to find a new job so I don't end up in the streets selling myself to some cougars..."
"Why don't you just go ask them to change your scholarship to cover the housing fees too?"
"I don't fucking beg for shit!"
"Then stay here? The guest room is empty and..."
"No. I won't give up all the parties and girls to live in someone else's home..."
"I think you would be better off without both of those..." Deku mumbled and sat down with sodas in his hands.
"Then why do you have that Pink Cheeks?"
"She is my girlfriend, not some girl whose name I don't remember the next day. You should try that too."
"I told you, I like my freedom. You really think someone would put up with my bullshit to date me or that I would find someone who didn't make me want to rip my head off? It's so much easier to just hook up and go our separate ways..."
"What about Camie?"
"What about the bitch? I told you not to fucking mention her anymore..."
"Don't call her that; you don't talk like that about girls, which, given how you treat them as sex toys, is a miracle. Yet you never kiss and tell..."
"She can be an exception for cheating on me with that Seiji guy, and I don't treat them as sex toys; it's a win-win for both parties!"
"You said you weren't together like that, and how about you being with that freshman girl..."
"That is different!"
"Please tell me how, Kacchan?"
"It just fucking is... Hell, can you just shut up!"
It really wasn't. We weren't together, but Camie was the one I wanted to fuck again and again, and somehow it started to feel easy to have someone you could call when you were drunk and horny. She wasn't the smartest tool in the shed, and I always sneaked out before she woke up sober, but still, it was something. I even made sure she didn't see if I was with someone else, but still, I really didn't have a real reason to be this upset when I saw her with that stuck-up guy with pig eyes, whom his friends addressed as a fucking senpai. Yes, he had a fucking great car and a mom who lived luxuriously with her late husband's money, showering her kid with everything that now seemed to be Camie's interests too when she giggled on his arm, covered with jewelry and a designer bag hanging on her shoulder.
So basically everything I couldn't offer even to myself. The best I could do was to try to be their best lay and maybe offer one cheap beer to accompany it. Clearly, that wasn't going to work in the adult world anymore; luckily, girls still seemed to forget it with a little touching and careful words when they were drunk enough, me being the same when it didn't really need much effort for anyone to get me going with them.
"Fuck that selfish Barbie..."
And that I had done, but then Camie had told him that she had found that Pig Eyes, and it was my time to hit the curb. I ain't gonna compete with anyone for something so meaningless as some gold digger's attention. Even if it stings just a little. I wouldn't be spending this semester alone if I wanted to have company, so no need to dwell over Camie, who I honestly didn't have anything but lust for. It was more upsetting to be replaced for stupid reasons, which grinded d my gears more than anything else in it.
I slumped deeper into the seat and tried not to show that Deku had hit a nerve again.
"You will find someone better. I can ask Ochaco if any of her friends like you?"
"I really don't need a girlfriend! I have enough problems without someone crying for my attention."
"Maybe you could give her that without her needing to cry for it."
"I'd rather be alone. Nothing good comes when you start to have feelings; it makes you an idiot and weak," I huffed and opened the soda, Deku squeezing his when he tried to restrain himself from continuing the matter.
"I don't think being with Ochaco has made me an idiot or weak; on the contrary, if that is your decision, then I support it. Just don't break anyone's heart or get anyone pregnant."
"I know how to use fucking protection; I'm not stupid."
"Okay..."
I had crossed the line; Deku's face clearly showed that I had hurt his feelings, and I scrunched my nose before apologizing for my behavior.
"Ah, fuck, I'm sorry. I guess I'm a little messed up for finally leaving," I scratched my hair and leaned back on the couch.
"It's okay; I know you didn't mean anything bad. Just don't get hurt," Deku smiled and turned the TV on, going for Netflix, which I always envied him for having.
"Is there anything you need to do now that you don't live there anymore? Change your address or something?"
"I should go to the bank and open that account. I found the rest of the money yesterday; it's not much, but sure as hell I can't walk around with it in my bag," I rubbed my hands over my face, and Deku shuffled through the movies.
"Wasn't your joint account with your mom? How did you get her to sign the paper to separate them? You said she wouldn't allow it."
"I didn't," I answered and drank the soda while Deku looked warily at me.
"Kacchan..."
"What, Deku? I don't have any other options left. They never think it is counterfeit, and if she ever complains about it, I tell them she was drunk, and I bet they agree with me that adults should have their own cards. Don't stress about it!"
I almost heard Deku's brain trying to come up with something else, and I waited, brows raised, for him to give me another way that never came.
"Okay, I'll act like I don't know you are committing a crime. I can drive you there? We are almost out of food, so we should pop out to the store too," Deku gave up.
The banker didn't even bother to take a closer look at the signature when it was strange to even have a joint account with your mom when you are twenty-one already. After explaining the money, I was out of there with a fresh card in my wallet, which usually had only my papers, library card, and some change. It was a good feeling; somehow, it felt like a new beginning to finally have some control over my own life.
"Got it, and you dared to doubt me," I snarled when I sat back in Deku's junk of a car and pulled my seatbelt on. "They were almost hurried to get me out of my mom's account!"
"You are still not off the hook; if they..."
"Could you shut up? I said, don't stress it. I want to go eat something, my treat? And I want to buy some clothes too."
"Just make sure you don't splurge it all," Deku warned and turned towards the mall, the wheels creaking under the car as it tried to stay in one piece.
"I won't; you know I'm a cheapskate. It's just that my lovely mother sold the clothes Dad had sent, so I really don't have much left."
"Shouldn't you tell him that you don't live there anymore and that you have your bank account now, so he doesn't waste his money on your mom?" Deku offered, and I shrugged but dug my phone from my pocket. I took off the blocks from Dad's number and sent him a text with Deku's address and my new account info, saying, "I moved out; here is my new info," and waited for it to be read. I blocked the number when I saw it telling me he had started to type, probably asking if I was okay or how I had been. But if he truly cared, he would have taken me with him to the States. Instead, he had decided to leave me here, being equally stingy, sending a hundred dollars to my mom once a month and those clothes he didn't need to pay anything for when he was the one who owned the company making them, being the one who had designed most of them.
"Done. What do you want to eat? I crave Chinese, something to burn the acid from my throat for being a fucking beggar." I turned to look out of the window.
"How about the place you wanted to go, the Long Dragon or something like that?" Deku suggested the place I never got a chance to try, even when it wasn't anything fancy, but I couldn't go earlier. "I heard it has great food?"
"How is this shit so expensive?" I grunted while going through racks of clothes and chewing on a toothpick. The food had been great, the dishes hot enough to make me sweat, and I felt a little less grumpy now that my stomach was full. Deku shrugged and suggested some for me to take to the fitting booth, and I motioned to add them to the pile.
"They aren't even that bad; yours costs way more than these."
"I should have texted 'Send clothes' to that bastard," I mumbled, knowing I sounded superficial, whining over some clothes, but they had been the only presentable things about me these past couple of years. I had grown enough to wear the ones Dad sent when his focus was on males and some unisex clothes, not children's. So when I finally got to use something other than second-hand ones, I was hooked. Of course, I had sold some of them myself to get some cash, and I always took off the labels to not look like a fucking billboard for my dad's brand, but the feel of them was so different from the ones that already had lint and holes in them when I got them. And it helped a lot with hooking up with the girls when I didn't look as poor as I was.
"I need a fall jacket, but all the wearable ones cost almost half of my rent!"
"For someone who is poor, you sure are picky," Deku mumbled and put back the ones I couldn't afford or didn't like. "How about this? It's half off?"
Deku handed me a longer jacket with a high collar and a big hood, very different from the bomber I usually wore.
"I know it is not a bomber, but with those, you always whine about it not being warm enough and that your ass is cold and that you need a hood. This erases all those, plus you wouldn't look like someone people should change lanes for."
"What the hell does that have to do with a jacket?!"
"It has everything to do with it; it makes you look like some tough guy. Try this one on; I bet it looks good on you," Deku insisted with the black jacket that I took from him with a low huff and pulled it on since I was wearing a hoodie that was the thickest shirt I owned and was probably going to be on me most of the fall. The coat fit great, not needing to take a bigger size to fit my chest in it, and the collar with the hood would be great with a scarf, for once staying warm in the fall.
"I said it looks great!" Izuku chimed and tried to straighten the shoulders, and I brushed him off.
"Keep your hands off; we look like a fucking couple if you do that." I gritted my teeth and strutted in front of a mirror.
"And that would be bad because...?"
"Because we are not! Screw you... Hell, this is kind of good-looking, eh?"
The rest of the two weeks went on with their own balance. My sleep was better than at home, but I still woke up covered in sweat, hearing my own thoughts that someone was going to crash down the door or that I was sure to hear someone choking behind it. As pathetic as it was, those nights I dragged my mattress to Deku's room, him never mentioning anything about it in the morning. Ochaco was there for a couple of nights too, and I went for runs and closed myself in the guest room to give them some privacy that I was invading big time when they finally had the house to themselves. Ochaco didn't like me a bit, telling me I was being a womanizer for sleeping around, and she had warned every girl she befriended about me. Most of her hate came from learning how my and Deku's friendship had started, and she would never let me forget it. I couldn't hate her back, not even when she looked at me so warily; she was just too nice, and I saw her making Deku happy.
One night, Deku lent me his earphones, saying I could keep them if I used them for the next hour or so. I did, only that my charger was left in the living room, and my battery died, so I heard them too clearly through the walls. I acted like I hadn't, not having such a rotten heart to mock them for something that sounded like they both were truly enjoying it, stupid giggling following after, and I felt jealous of them. I didn't usually miss any of those things, but witnessing someone experiencing it like that wasn't easy to just sweep under the carpet when the feeling of loneliness washed over you.
Inko and Dr. Toshinori were back in a week; her hugging and crying against me felt like I had ruined their homecoming by making her break like that, but I needed to swallow a pile back down my own throat too.
"You can live here, you know that, Katsuki? There is no need for you to move to the dorms; you are welcome to stay here. I want you to, and I know Izuku would love you staying here," she smiled and squeezed my face with her warm and soft palms that I almost nuzzled against. She truly was a mom worthy of those "Mother of the Year" prizes for just being herself, and I both hated and loved it when it reminded me of my own old hag, who was probably enjoying her freedom in her own piss as we spoke.
Deku seconded his mom's words, looking excited, as if she could change my mind, but I shook my head in response. I knew they both meant it; Deku would love me staying, as the masochist he is, he enjoys my company, and to be honest, it would be best. But I can't be in debt to them; I can't carry the guilt of messing up their lives when I knew that my mom was right. I was going to screw up at some point, and I wanted no one to directly suffer for it. Plus, I didn't want to disappoint Inko by showing up drunk at their door with some random girl in tow, because that was inevitable. Like I said, I wouldn't give up my freedom for this. I was young and had a hard schedule, so letting loose with drinking and partying was something I didn't want to give up.
"Thanks, but I really can't stay here. I need to work on my project so intensively that it is easier to live next to the laboratories. I'm grateful for you letting me crash here now," I mumbled, feeling the disappointment in the room fall like a curtain over the greenette.
"I can't force you, Katsuki, but you need to know our door is always open for you. No matter what, you are welcome here. I will help you with anything. And you can come for dinners so I can check on you. Do you still have the key?"
I did, but I had never used it. I hadn't had the heart to turn her offer down, so I had carried it with me ever since. It was enough to know that I had it with me. I had almost used it this summer when I truly had run away from home in the middle of the night through my window, but I ended up knocking on Deku's door to let him know to let me in. I wanted this place to feel like home. It did feel like it, just not mine, no matter how much it was offered to me.
"I have it," I tapped my pocket with the keys in it and was pulled into a hug that made me swallow rapidly. When I wrapped my arms around her, it felt soft and warm, safe; in this hold, no one ever needed to feel any pain.
"You know you are like a son to me? If you need anything, you need to let me know. I know you have taken care of yourself for a long time, but it is still different to move out to an unfamiliar place. Do you know any of your new roommates?"
"I don't, but I don't have much time to get to know them either; I have a pretty strict schedule."
"Give them a chance; it will be easier that way. There will be people you can trust and relax around. Izuku isn't the only one," she smiled and let me go, knowing my boundaries so well, and I nodded at her.
"Have you packed everything? You took those essentials I got you?" Inko was fussing when the day had come to move to the dorms, Deku's car ready in the driveway. She had bought me a new electric toothbrush along with all kinds of soaps and laundry detergents to get me started, and I really was grateful for those, but it wasn't easy to accept them.
"Yeah, I have them, thanks again," I kept myself busy with my bag and started to pull my shoes on. "For everything," I continued and heard her sniffle into her napkin. I wondered what kind of waterfall it would be once Deku moved out, when even me leaving got her this tearful.
"I got that, Kacchan!" Deku took the bag from my hand and put it in the trunk with the other two, one I got from them to fit the things Inko had bought. It still wasn't much, but the apartment was furnished and was supposed to have pans and kettles in it, so there wasn't anything missing.
"So... I'll be going now," I tried to sneak out, but was pulled into another hug. She was the only one I let touch me outside of the basket. Deku was allowed it too, but yet every time it was confusing, stirring up more bad feelings afterward than having the warm stay.
"You come for dinner on Sunday; I’ll make something spicy for you, and you can pick up your bike then," she let me go and smiled wide, just like Deku does, that smile that reaches their big eyes, and I nodded and waved my hand to her for goodbye.
"Ready?" Deku asked once I dropped into the passenger seat and buckled the seatbelt. I took a glance at their home, lifting my fingers for a last quick goodbye to Inko before Deku reversed onto the road.
"Can we go past Mom's place?" I mumbled, and Deku turned in that direction without asking any questions, up the hill towards the familiar road I had come down to their home. Instinctively, I pulled my hood over once we passed the house, and it looked even more neglected than two weeks ago. Or was it that it now looked so much worse after realizing what a shithole it was compared to Deku's? I huffed at the sight, and Deku made his way back towards the college, chatting while driving. I had road rage just sitting there when we weren't the only ones going in that direction, and the traffic was slow, Deku's brakes wailing as he stopped too many times to let someone join the street. I swore that I would never take a ride from him again until it was offered again. I would be a terrible driver, probably losing my shit and my license in the same instant when something pissed me off. Having heavy machinery under my command wouldn't end up being a good combination in any means. Not that I had any money to pay for the fees for a car anyway; a bike had been just fine. Everything had been close enough to go by it or take a bus sometimes.
Deku was jabbering about the upcoming basketball season and his new training that he was going to master and surpass his last year's score. Then he went on about his courses and some romcom he had watched with Ochaco, and I huffed at it, having a hard time imagining myself watching shit like that with anyone.
"You should try to find someone; you wouldn't feel so offended by romantic movies, Kacchan!"
"Tsk, like I would stand anyone long enough to like something romantic. And I already told you, I don't need anyone!"
"You never know; there are probably going to be some new faces..."
"I'll make you a new one if you don't stop that..."
"But we talked about it with Ochaco..."
"She just wants me to stay away from your date nights. I got the hint last time; I won't be invading those again, stupid idiots..."
"She wants you to be happy too!"
"Yeah, like she cares. She hates me; she tolerates me just because of you. You know you are annoying as hell right now? We have talked this through millions of times, and I really have a hard fucking time understanding why you keep bringing it up. I don't want anyone. I don't need anyone. Period. Now shut the fuck up and focus on getting us there. It's supposed to be a fifteen-minute drive, and you have spent thirty on it already..."
"You want me to run over the others going there?"
"Yes, fucking please!"
I leaned my cheeks into my palms and tried to breathe my rage down. I shouldn't lash out like that at Deku when he was just trying to help; he truly believes what he says.
"I have too many things on my hands as it is. It's going to be a pain in the ass to find time for everything I need to do. And I want to focus on living on my own and learn to fucking sleep again. You might dream of a family and such, but I don't. I don't see that ever happening, so can you just let it be? Plus, we are twenty, so what's the rush?"
"I just think it would be good for you to have someone you like..."
"And learn to trust them, and then ta-da, there goes the carpet under you. No, thank you. I get enough by just fucking someone—guaranteed satisfaction and no bad feelings. Even better, no feelings at all."
Deku changed the subject after that, me knowing very well he was judging me for it but not saying it. He just patted my knee quickly to show he cared before I tried to slap his hand away.
"Keep your hands to yourself, nerd!" I muttered, but Deku smiled; he knew I couldn't hold my grudge against him for long.
"What floor are you on?" Deku asked as he helped with my bags from the trunk and looked curiously around the red-tiled building that rose between oak trees. I had been here too many times, but somehow it looked different now, and I didn't know if it was a good or a bad thing.
"Fifth, but you don't need to come," I answered, and Deku knew me well enough to know that I wanted to go there by myself. If I went there with him, my roommates were going to fall for him, and the bitter truth of me being the one to stay would be too fucking disappointing.
"Okay, you message me if you need anything, and we’ll see on Monday? It's going to be okay; just try not to curse them right away. Give it a day or two," Deku smiled and held out his hand for me to shake it, but I gave it a loud slap instead and turned around; this isn't any goodbye.
"See you, Broccoli. Thanks for the roof," I started to head towards the dorms, one bag on my shoulder and the others in my hands. I heard Deku's car starting finally after the fourth attempt and driving off, and I let my shoulders drop. What the fuck was I thinking getting a room here? I hate people; how the hell was I going to live with one and share showers and laundry with other students? I had tried not to dwell on it too much, but now it hit me right in the face when I was supposed to walk in through those doors and stay. I was sure I was going to live with someone I would despise to my core and end up getting kicked out before fall ended. None of our teammates lived here, so it wasn't going to be one of them either. Nevertheless, my legs led me closer, and I cursed when I heard loud music playing somewhere, sounding awful like it was coming from somewhere near the section where my room was supposed to be. I liked my music loud, but even I understood that blasting it for everyone to hear was downright rude.
The noise was even louder on the inside when the freshmen had just moved in, starting to get to know each other, sophomores acting like they weren't as chaotic as them just a year ago, laughing mockingly in their own groups while parents were chased to leave as soon as possible.
I gritted my teeth when I heard the loud, fucking '90s dance chart list playing from my room, the loud bass thumping against the door. Great, just fucking great. I rammed the key into the lock and opened the door to find the brightest color of red hair swinging in the air as my apparent roommate danced with a broom, lip-syncing to the song, giving his best show to an invisible audience.
"Oi, Red, fucking stop it, NOW!" I shouted over the music, and the redhead was startled when he heard my voice ordering him, but he smiled right away and turned the volume down.
"Sorry, bro, didn't hear you coming in!" The man smiled still and strode towards me, and I frowned at someone being so bright and such a fucking sunshine after hearing my clear dislike.
"I'm Kirishima Eijiro; you must be Bakugou!" he chimed, and I saw his unusually sharp teeth bared, shining white, as his smile reached almost from ear to ear.
"Bakugo Katsuki," Kirishima said at the same time I was about to introduce myself, and my frown deepened as I death-glared him while he acted like an enthusiastic idiot.
"I know you are one of the Ultras! I'll be on tryouts Tuesday. I played when I was in high school and decided to start again. Hopefully, you will have me; otherwise, this will be awkward for us living together."
Well, this was already awkward to the point of being a dead end to my plan to even try living with someone. The redhead was clearly oblivious to how much he irritated me just by breathing and smiling too fucking happily, so this was never going to work.
"I thought you would be taller. Everyone who knows even something about basketball talks about you, and I really imagined you to be at least my size."
Kirishima clearly didn't have any self-preservation instinct whatsoever when he didn't know when to shut up. Maybe in basketball, I was on the shorter side, but I had earned my position on the team as point guard with a killer eye for openings and a vertical leap that took many of the taller players off guard. And I'm proud of it for a fucking reason.
"You ain't that much taller than me, Sharkboy, so watch your mouth!" I snapped loudly and was soon in front of the redhead, realizing that maybe he was taller than I had expected, but not over 190 cm, while I was 175 cm with my shoes on.
"Sorry, bro, didn't mean it in a bad way! I think it is good that there are alternatives on the court!"
"You calling me an alternative?!" I fumed, and finally, it looked like Kirishima caught on that he was on thin ice when he retreated with his hands in the air.
"C-can I show you your room?" he offered, trying to avoid any more conflict with me, and gestured towards the two doors that were both closed on the other wall.
"No, you can't! Stay the hell away from it!"
I grabbed my bags from the floor and headed to a door that was right next to the little kitchenette, hearing Kirishima coughing behind me.
"That's actually mine..." Kirishima apologized, and I felt myself go beet red and turned to the door on the right, slamming it shut with a bang that rattled the dishes in the kitchenette.
"Jesus fucking Christ..." I cursed and sat on the unmade bed without even taking a more precise look around the room, which had pale gray walls, blue and white drapes, and was overall boring as hell. I heard Kirishima continuing his sweeping, and the music was back on, not just as loud as it was before. What a perfect first impression from both of our sides, and I was sure he was going to waltz right to the housing office on Monday and demand to get me kicked out since it looked like he had lived there last semester too, but I couldn't put his face on any of the memories. He was so bright with his hair that he would have stood out, but I had lost all my focus last spring after we failed at the semifinals, and shit had hit the fan at home. After that, everything had been more or less either drowning myself in my project or drinking every last penny I had managed to gather, so there was a chance he had started here in April or May or just moved in during the summer. Not that it mattered; I probably didn't have enough time to know it. I shouldn't start putting my stuff in their places until I knew if he was going to get me evicted.
My phone was buzzing in my pocket. I hadn't noticed it when my rage was still holding the wheel, but finally, it pulled my attention to itself, and I fished it out from my black ripped jeans and saw Deku's name on the display.
"Did you find your room? My car gave up just before our street; can you believe it?"
I could believe it; it was a miracle that junk even started. They had a nice home; his mom had been a single mom for most of his childhood too, so the money had been tight for them as well, and Deku had been over the moon when his mom had surprised him with the lime green car on his birthday. It was the apple of his eye. Yeah, it did have some appeal, but it just wasn't safe anymore.
"Ask someone to tow it to the river and buy another one; that car is a deathtrap just as it is, and you behind its wheel is a miracle that you ever made it home. But I'll check it out next weekend; don't let anyone rip you off because of it. Yeah, found it; I have a red giant as a roomie. Seems like an idiot."
Deku would answer that I should give the other a chance, so I didn't even bother to read when Deku replied right away.
I pulled the new black bedsheets from the bag and made the bed, checking it all first with my phone's light. I didn't want to sleep with roaches or some old stains, not anymore; I had those for a lifetime's worth already. It calmed my nerves just a little; the bed looked inviting, but it wasn't late enough to go to sleep yet. Maybe a run would be nice; those earphones Deku had given me had been good for it, so I dug them from the backpack and changed into my running shorts. It would be good to check the campus in daylight from the residence hall, not just sneaking in and out at nighttime.
"Was your room okay?" Kirishima asked, shaking a protein shake in his hand, smearing it all over the counter when he apparently didn't know how to close a lid properly.
"Nothing more or less," I mumbled and adjusted the earphones in my ears before pulling my shoes on and not looking at him anymore, trying not to lash out over the stains on a counter I hadn't even walked past.
"Good, good," was all I heard before I was out the door, trying to shut it in a civilized way. There were still too many people in the corridor, and they didn't notice to make any room for someone passing, so I made my way past them with my shoulder first, bumping into quite a view.
"Watch it, you moron!" I flipped my finger more than just once, making quite a first impression on the freshmen when some of the older students recognized me and made room automatically, stirring up whispers about what I was doing there.
It was still warm outside, but fall was clearly coming, and I pulled my black training jacket's zipper all the way up to get my muscles warm quicker. I hated how long it took to warm up, especially when the weather was like this—not warm or cold—when the mix of jacket and shorts was going to be the right choice once I got myself going. I jogged between the buildings, darting to the grass whenever some were just occupying the space with chatting or toting their stuff towards the dorms that were soon left behind.
I felt my phone buzzing again, pausing the music, and I stopped to check who it was now. I really didn't have many choices, Deku being the only one to message me on private chat on a daily basis; the others were from the team, usually, the group chat waking up now that everyone was back from their holidays.
It was from our team's chat, our captain Mirio reminding everyone about Monday's first practice after summer break. I hit the thumbs up and silenced the group when others were starting to answer, and I didn't want to let my body cool off while waiting for answers from the others. I breathed deeply, and for a second, I didn't know where I was, looking around to catch anything familiar. To my displeasure, I was near the frat houses and ditched back, not wanting anything to do with those pretentious assholes. I had had a couple of bad, ah, memories about the parties there and wasn't exactly a liked guest, not even to run past them. Some of my teammates were part of the clubs; that's why I ended up there in the first place, but last time I had made my opinion clear about their cult and had a really disconcerting week with them until Deku had made me apologize to them.
I turned on my heels and decided to go along the riverbend, but a noticeboard caught my attention when it had a "Part-time jobs available" sign on it, and I really needed to find something with schedules that weren't written in stone. Most of those jobs were for baristas, but I know myself well enough to realize that would be the last place for me to work, as the mere thought of even slightly rude customers made my skin crawl and see red. Taking orders, in both of its meanings from others, wasn't for me. Maybe I could get good tips if I managed to hide my true nature, but it wasn't worth it.
There was one ad that caught my eye; it was from a new company needing help setting their machinery in place. Work could be done in the evening since business was about to start just before December, and it promised good pay for someone who was ready to work hard. I took the number and shoved it into my pocket without reading it any further. It could be good practice for both my studies and basketball, something to use both my brains and muscles with, so it was the best option from what was offered.
Back at the dorms, people had started to settle into their rooms, and the parking lot had been emptier too, as parents had finally been made to leave, making it much easier to breathe there all together. I took the plugs out and heard nothing from behind my door. I opened the door without any fury in my movements, and after taking my shoes off, I saw Red sitting on a couch, watching Ninja Warriors and cheering for whoever it was who was trying to pass the course.
"Was it a good run?" he turned to ask when he heard me placing the keys on the counter. Great, small talk. This guy had definitely read some guidance book about befriending your roommate, or was he just naturally chatty?
"It was running."
I realized I sounded like an asshole again. If the other was engaging in conversation with me after earlier, I really should try to be a little less threatening, as it would make living together easier. And if he made his way to the team, I really should try to get along with him.
"It was okay; the weather was nice," I replied after convincing myself to correct my behavior. Kirishima smiled before turning his attention back to the TV, and I went to grab my towel that had palm trees on it and greetings from Greece. I remembered way too vividly what kind of greetings that place had to offer for someone who was ten and there with his cock-thirsty single mom, who had just won money from her ex-husband and decided to blow it all on meaningless trips and living like there was no end to that money. The material of the said towel was nice despite the memories it brought up, and I didn't want to spend a dime on a new towel just because it had some bad memories attached to it.
"The shower is shared with the room to our left, so remember to lock the other door too!" Kirishima warned when I was heading to the bathroom. Of course it was; it would be too much to ask to have some privacy. I had known that, but it didn't make it any easier.
"Is it even decent?" I grunted and stopped to wait for the answer.
"Don't worry, I'm house-trained," Kirishima laughed, and I rolled my eyes at him and went on my way.
I peeked into the bathroom, and it was empty and looked quite okay, renovated probably a few years back, and it had a proper shower instead of those pain-in-the-ass cubicles one girl had had in her room. Those felt crowded and dirty when no one liked to clean every little corner of them, and the mold started to grow too fast on those. Kirishima hadn't lied either about it being clean; it was spotless, and I dared to strip off my clothes, placing them on the counter with the towel, and took my shower gel with me, placing it on the last empty shelf. Others had different products for their hair and likely for their bodies too, as there were at least four bottles on each of them, and I read those through, imagining having money to spend on something like that. Then I remembered the ones Inko had given me and tried to remind myself to take those with me the next time.
I turned the shower on, setting it as hot as my skin could take, and felt how the muscles in my shoulders started to melt, my skin prickling from the blistering water until it started to feel like I needed to drink something to ease my discomfort, and I changed it to a more tolerable setting. Usually, I would jerk off to get the last fumes out of my system, but I wasn't sure how the walls would carry the sound. I would find that out sooner or later living with three other guys, so I would rather endure the throbbing until I was sure everyone else was asleep than risk it so early in the evening. That would suck even more as a "getting to know others" moment than just tolerating the meaningless chit-chat, letting them hear me moaning right between both of the apartments.
I stepped out and dried the floor swiftly before starting to dry myself with the towel, steam covering the mirror above the sink. I started with my hair, roughing it up until I traveled down my chest and armpits, trying to get most of the water off while coming up with anything else to focus on other than my cock, which was questioning my sanity for leaving it without much-needed attention. I started to dry it too, too roughly to get it to soften, when to my terror, the other apartment's door opened, and in the doorway stood the most unique person I had ever seen.