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Summary
James (not knowing Regulus is trans) tells Regulus he wishes he were a girl!
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inspired by @dead.hyacinth on TikTok
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Bookmark Notes:
Love it
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Bookmark Notes:
Cute and kind. Very tender.
I love you, Reggie” James murmured in his ear that night. They were in the tower, curled together to shelter from the cold, and Regulus was just telling his boyfriend about the story behind the star from which he took his name — no matter how many times James heard it, he always wanted to hear it another, saying it was his favourite.
Once those words left James’ moth, Regulus’ whole world stopped.
“You don’t need to say it back, love. I just needed you to know.” And oh, if only that were the problem. No, because Regulus loved James with his everything he had: his heart, his soul, his mind; maybe it wasn’t much, but it was something. But it was James who didn’t love him. He wasn’t what James wanted, he wasn't enough for him. James had said it months prior.
“James I— I’m not—” it was as if Regulus had suddenly lost all of his words.
“Hush darling, it’s alright” James whispered, and held him tighter.
And that was when something inside Regulus snapped, and he pushed James away. He could feel the tears coming. James had lied. He had settled for the second best. Because he still had feminine features, despite all the potions and the spells. Because he couldn’t have Lily Evans, so he had found himself someone else, someone he couldn't love as much, though. Because Regulus was not a girl. He couldn’t be, no matter how fucking hard he tried.
However, James looked wounded and so, so hurt in that moment, that Regulus just wanted to take it all back. But no, he told himself. He won’t retreat, not now that it was on the table.
He took a deep breath. And then, “James.” In. Out. “James, you I’m not—” In. Out. “I’m not a girl.”
“I know, Reg” James nodded tentatively, not understanding where the discussion was going.
“No, James, you need to understand. I’m not a girl.” Regulus repeated.
“Reg, I know. You’re a boy.” James said very slowly, as if he was speaking to a madman.
“Yes, James, I know. I’m not a girl. I’ve tried, but that just wasn’t me.”
James still looked confused. He really was as thick as they get.
“I’m trans, James. I wasn’t born like this. I need you to understand this before you tell me you love me. I’m not a girl.” Regulus felt like he was about to collapse, pronouncing those few sentences drained him from whatever energy he had left.
“Oh, ok, Reg. That doesn’t change any— oh. Fuck.” James interrupted his own sentence, and looked at Regulus with pure horror in his eyes. And Regulus, who with time had learned everything about James, saw the exact moment James recalled his words of a few months prior, understanding the meaning behind what Regulus was trying to tell him.
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Bookmark Notes:
ROLLING ON THE GROUND SOBBING