Archive of Our Own

It was often believed that one’s personality and wings tend to match—pretty wings meant pretty people with just as pretty temperaments, downy feathers were for soft and gentle individuals, wings with unique colors and patterns often meant creative types, while bland wings were…well, who even liked someone with ugly wings? 

Part of it wasn’t true at all and just gave people a weird complex. Honestly, gorgeous wings were usually indicative of vain and arrogant personalities, feather quality was due to genetics and grooming practices, and all wings were a blessing and none were ugly.

In some ways though, Josh was inclined to believe that the stereotype was true.

Because Ken Suson had some of the most beautiful wings Josh had ever seen in his life with the most fascinating personality to match.

If Ken knew his thoughts though, he’d think Josh was silly. Ken was the introverted sort, hiding behind his music and his productions, and was only ever really himself around his family and closest friends. He always said he was nothing like Josh, extroverted and sociable, with a gift of gab and skills in networking. But Josh disagreed.

Ken’s wings were stunning. They were a soft red and the feathers practically glowed when hit just right by the light. They were streaks of black along the primaries and secondaries, as well as a beautiful, almost heart-shaped black mark at the underside of his axillary feathers. They were occasionally a little messy, owing to Ken’s rather rambunctious nature, but they were wide and thick and were something to marvel at. 

They were nothing at all like Josh’s own wings—useless and good for nothing, tucked tight against his spine to prevent others from seeing them.

Ken rustled his wings a little bit. He had a little smirk on his face. “Stare any harder and I’ll start thinking you like them.”

Josh blinked and swallowed down an instinctive ‘I do’ as well as the inevitable flood of compliments that would follow. 

But because he couldn’t resist, he still said it. “Your wings are as gorgeous as ever, you vain idiot, but I was spacing out thinking about my schedule tomorrow.”

Ken beamed at the compliment before the rest of Josh’s comment registered. He frowned, his wings twitching.

“What’s up?”

Josh sighed, rubbing his temples. “We have a meeting tomorrow for Pablo’s upcoming EP. I’ve been pulling strings trying to get him the budget for it, but I don’t think we’ll meet our goal this time.”

Ken reached out a leg, knocking his sneaker lightly against Josh’s boot. “You’ll find a way, you always do.”

Josh chuckled. “You’re always so confident in me.”

Ken shrugged. “You’ve always worked miracles. You’re amazing at that.” He grinned.

As one of the managers of the label, Josh’s job was all about handling the technical side of things for their artists and producers. He was good at his job and he was proud of it too, but it always felt different when Ken said something about it.

If Josh’s wings were out, there was no doubt they’d be fluffing up at the compliment. Even now, he felt his wings relax from where they were tucked right up against his back. He realized how relaxed they had gotten—being in Ken’s presence tended to calm him—and Josh immediately pulled them back with a cough.

“Thank you. I’ll do my best.”

Ken hummed, nodding. His gaze was somewhere over Josh’s shoulder and the older male had no doubt Ken had noticed his wings.

Ken coughed. “So, uh, you know some of the new trainees?”

“Yes?” Josh asked. 

Ken hesitated a bit, fiddling with the earphones around his neck. “Well, I was talking to some of the trainees and they sort of asked me… about your wings…”

Josh stiffened and he knew his wings had tensed and his facial expression had turned neutral.

“They were just curious,” Ken immediately said, holding his hands up placatingly. His eyes had widened. “And I guess I was too because, you know, no one knows what your wings look like…”

Josh tried to laugh it off. “I wonder why people are so curious about that. They’re not much to look at anyway.”

Ken shook his head. “You’re wrong. I’m sure they’re beautiful, just like you.”

It was a sweet sentiment, but it left Josh feeling a little hollow inside.

Ken tugged at his sleeve. “So, uh… I just… is it okay to ask what your wings look like?”

For a moment, Josh was frozen in indecision. His automatic response to people had always been a stern and strict ‘no’ with an icy smile to match. But this was Ken… talented, charismatic, crazy, sweet Ken, who Josh had held a torch for since the younger male had been signed on to their company.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door which made them both jump. One of the assistants peeked inside the studio, calling for Josh.

Saved by the bell.

Josh stood up, avoiding Ken’s eye. “Sorry, Ken. I gotta go.”

Ken jolted up. “Josh! Josh, wait! That wasn’t what I—”

“See you.”

But Josh was out the door in a flash.

Stereotyping aside, there were specific laws put in place to protect people against persecution and harassment based on their wings. People would always judge and shun others as was human nature, but Wing Laws were still there to protect the general public from outright rejection, discrimination, and even fanaticism.

It wasn’t enough.

And Josh was eight years old when he was faced with that cruel reality. 

There had been six of them, one of his teachers, a janitor, a neighbor who lived down the block, and some other strangers. They had snatched him from school, tied him down, and had tried to take his wings. It had been poor relief that an accomplice had had a change of heart and had anonymously reported them to the police.

It had been too late though.

The criminals had gotten life without parole and Josh had vague memories of hearing that they had been severely beaten up, possibly even died, at the hands of the other inmates. Still, what did it matter to him? The deed had been done and Josh had ended up with scarred wings.

Taking someone’s wings or de-winging someone was akin to killing them. Physically, it was possible to live on without them. Some war veterans or those who had experienced accidents had none or only one wing, and there had been numerous advancements in recent years with prosthetic wings to help them cope. But the mental and psychological toll of losing one’s wings was usually what killed people.

It was a miracle young Josh had pulled through from the trauma.

As Josh grew older, he realized slowly but surely that there were plenty of other people in the world who wouldn’t judge, loathe, or revere him based on the color of his wings, like his wing doctor Justin, his friends Stell and Pablo… and even Ken.

But it wasn’t enough.

The zealousness and extremism that had followed him all his life had taught him better than to dangle any sort of temptation in front of people. 

So he hid his wings. He groomed them in the privacy of his home, never showed them off or took flight in public, only flying in the safety of Justin’s hospital dome to keep them in working order. He never took as much time caring for them as he did though, anxiety bubbling in him whenever he sank his fingers in the plumage.

He also took to wearing wing accessories to hide them. Lucky for him that they had become something of a trend, especially in the creative industry. Dyeing one’s wings was still considered taboo, so people made do with colorful nets, cloths, ribbons, dangles, tassels and others that they could drape over their wings like art. 

Most people used them to accentuate their wings. Some of their female artists often wore ribbons or beaded nets, while the younger talents wore loud colored ones. Ken himself liked to wear glittery nets to show off his distinct red and black wings, while Pablo often wore black lace over his ice-blue wings.

Josh was different. He would rather hide his, putting on a cream colored net nearly every single day that melded with his wing color and made them seem ordinary. 

He wished they really were something simple, maybe brown or gray with spots or patterns, maybe something like Justin’s cream colored wings with the pretty brown patterns, or Stell’s yellow plumes with soft orange streaks that sometimes looked like burnished gold. Maybe even something like Pablo’s fierce ice-blue or Ken’s distinct red and black.

But no. They weren’t.

People had always worshipped certain wing colors to a manic degree. Some of the fiercer devotees also believed that getting ahold of a feather meant not only good luck, but afforded you a wish. What more were a full set of wings?

So Josh hated them, hated them, hated them.

More than anything in this world, he wished his wings were anything other than spotless, solid white.

Josh sighed, smiling weakly. 

“Ken, I told you. It was fine. I wasn’t offended.” He reached out, placing a hand on the man’s arm. “They were curious and you were too. It’s fine. You don’t have to do this to make amends.”

He glanced at the spread set out. Ken had invited him to his studio a few days after their last meeting and Josh had walked in to see a feast laid out on the extra desk.

Ken blinked up at him. “Who said anything about making amends? What if I just want to wine and dine the most handsome man around?”

Josh laughed. “Ah, so you want to wine and dine Pablo then? Or maybe yourself?”

Ken tapped Josh’s forehead teasingly. “No, stupid. I meant you, of course.” He grinned, winking. “You think I’m handsome, though?”

“I was joking,” Josh quickly said, laughing when Ken pouted. “But seriously, Ken, what is all this for?”

Ken tugged Josh towards all the food. “I heard you managed to work miracles and get Pablo the budget he needed, which also means we can really go crazy on some of our ideas for his EP, so…” He made magic fingers at the food. “Ta-da.” 

Josh elbowed Ken teasingly. “I’d do this for you guys even without a treat, but I won’t say no to free food.”

“Good.” Ken touched his arm, smiling sincerely. “Because you deserve to be treated well.”

Josh paused, surprised, but he shook his head. Ken just probably meant it… without that last word.

They sat down on the table and Josh only then realized how hungry he actually was. 

“Did you make this?” he asked.

“I want to treat you, not kill you.” Ken made a face, which had Josh laughing. “So, nah. I bought al; this, but I got all your favorites.”

Looking at everything, that was true, and he felt warmth in his belly at Ken’s effort.

“Thank you, Ken. I really appreciate this.”

Ken preened and his wings seemed to fluff up a bit in pleasure, and if Josh wasn’t so determined to hide his wings, he was so sure they’d flutter back in response.

It started to become some sort of tradition then. Every week or two, Ken would invite Josh to his studio where they would eat and hang out if neither of them were too busy. They did that often before, but for some reason, this became a Thing.

The one time Josh tried to invite Pablo, the singer had just raised an eyebrow at him.

“No, thanks. Ken made it clear to practically the entire building that your lunch dates are sacred .”

Josh flushed. “What are you—they’re not dates and what do you mean by sacred?”

Pablo’s wings twitched, as if he was stopping himself from saying or doing something. Instead, he just patted Josh on the shoulder. 

“Just… have fun.”

And it was really and completely and absolutely fun.

Josh and Ken had always gotten along. They had started out as coworkers since Josh handled most of the producers and artists around the company, but they had slowly become acquaintances, then friends, and now Josh considered Ken as one of his best friends, and it wasn’t too far off to think that Ken felt the same towards him.

If Josh’s feelings had evolved into something more, well, that was his burden to bear.

And because of how often he and Ken had time together, it didn’t really surprise Josh when Stell suddenly dropped by his office.

Stell was one of their vocal coaches and choreographers, and he handled several artists and groups for the company just like Josh. He and Stell had actually been friends long before Ken came into the picture, so Josh had the stray thought that maybe Stell was put out at them losing some best friend time.

But then he remembered this was Stell—his kind, cheerful, extroverted… and incredibly gossipy friend.

“Are you dating Ken?” Stell suddenly asked. His wings were twitching, clearly anticipating some juicy gossip.

It was only through nearly a lifetime of control that kept Josh’s wings still and steady, betraying none of his emotions. He simply raised an eyebrow at his friend.

“No.”

Stell might not be able to get cues from Josh’s wings, but he had the benefit of knowing Josh as a friend.

“Do you wish you were dating Ken?” he asked.

Josh didn’t have to answer that. Stell knew.

Stell sat down on the couch across from Josh’s table. “If it’s any consolation though, everyone knows Ken’s locked onto you.”

Josh was surprised and this time even his wings twitched through their net.

“Everyone? Locked on? What are you talking about?”

“It’s exactly what it sounds like.” Stell snickered. “Come on, Josh. It’s no secret to everyone that Ken admires you a lot or that you two really get along well. And now he’s monopolizing all of your time.”

Stell pouted teasingly. “I’m starting to get jealous.”

Josh rolled his eyes. “Stell, stop it. Don’t say such things and don’t go around spreading rumors.” He paused. “Wait, is that what Pablo meant when he called our lunches sacred?”

As it always was whenever his boyfriend was mentioned, Stell’s pretty wings shook, like the embodiment of delighted giggles.

“That’s a good word for it,” he said, grinning widely. “Like I said, Ken practically told everyone. He always checks with your assistant for your schedule and he makes himself available when you are. Everybody knows.”

This time, Josh knew his poker face was failing him and even his wings fluttered a little under the safety of his net.

Stell smiled, gentle and encouraging. “If you still wish you were dating our resident bad boy, I think maybe you already are.”

Stell’s words kept ringing in Josh’s ears, but he decided better than to ask Ken. Call it cowardly, but Josh had very few things to live for and he would rather hold onto this moment—to Ken—for as long as he could. Everything was fine and he didn’t want anything to taint the rose-colored glasses he had on.

So life went on, with work and his regular lunch dates with Ken—friendly lunch dates. And maybe Stell was right in that most people knew to avoid both of them whenever they had lunch together, because the two of them continued to have private time together without anyone bothering them.

It was lovely. It was nice to talk to Ken and just… just be him. To talk about work, music, fashion, and everything under the sun, even the occasional office gossip. Ken also made Josh laugh constantly, and more often than not Josh had to remind himself not to relax too much lest his wings unfurl at the genuine pleasure he felt from Ken’s company.

There were certain moments when their lunch dates would be interrupted though and most of the time it was for work. Josh had meetings and schedules and events, while Ken had deadlines and artists vying for his and Pablo’s work, who was his most frequent collaborator.

In this instance however, on the second Friday of the month, Josh canceled their Thing due to… personal reasons.

“Full wingspan, please.”

Josh nodded, taking a deep breath and letting his wings unfurl. He ignored the stretch he felt along his left wing and allowed Justin to inspect it.

Josh had known Justin since they were in college. Josh was a few years older, but they had ended up being roommates because of a dorm error and had grown close over the years, so much so that Justin had been the only person outside of Josh’s family to have seen his wings. It helped that Justin was a medical student, but Josh had genuinely found a kindred spirit in the gentle-hearted male.

There was a hum from behind him and Josh closed his eyes when he felt familiar hands stroke his wings.

He was in Justin’s hospital dome having his wings checked. Young wings were quick to heal, but they were also prone to scarring if not taken care of and Josh’s childhood incident had definitely left their mark. It didn’t help that the general fear that had enveloped him as he grew up had kept him from seeing a doctor regularly. Thankfully, he had Justin now.

Both of Josh’s wings were littered with scars, but there were three particularly prominent ones. He had matching ones on the scapulars of his wings from where he had been pinned down, and a big and distinct one that ran along the left side of his back where spine met wing. It was easy to guess what had caused that.

Years of avoiding wing doctors and subpar grooming had affected Josh’s wings. They were still full and beautiful—Justin’s words, not Josh’s—but they required just the right sort of grooming and maintenance. Some feathers didn’t grow quite right due to the scars, and Josh’s spinal scar in particular had to be checked or else risk that the skin and muscles would grow stiff especially since he was growing older. He had to be more careful or else he’d never be able to move his left wing the way he wanted to. 

Josh knew that on principle it was why Justin was against him constantly hiding his wings. But Josh’s wasn’t the only sensitive case Justin handled and the young doctor also knew the possible danger and consequences of letting people know about Josh’s wings.

Josh was startled when he heard a sharp intake of breath from behind him.

“Oh.”

“What is it?” Josh asked, looking over his shoulder. His wings twitched, but Justin sounded surprised, not panicked.

He felt Justin rifle through his feathers a bit more, before he stood up.

“Let’s move to the mirrors. I want to show you something.”

They moved over to the full length mirrors along the side. They were wide enough to allow people to see their full wings. Justin pulled over some mirrors so Josh could easily see behind him. He gently handled Josh’s wings and pointed along the feathers.

“Your wings. They’ve got gold in them,” Justin said.

Josh’s heart sank into his stomach. His wings rustled in Justin’s hold, making him let go, and Josh immediately reached down so he could pull his wings to him and study the underside of his primaries and secondaries.

He saw it. Some of the feathers that were growing in had streaks of gold in them.

“Is it a color change or a pattern forming?” Josh asked. Sometimes those things happened late in life.

Justin shook his head. He spoke calmly, understanding Josh’s panic. 

“It’s a sign of aging. Sometimes black or light colored wings grow gray. Your feathers turn from white to gold.”

Josh gripped his feathers tight. The streaks of gold in them seemed to taunt him.

White and gold wings?

As if Josh didn’t need more damn reasons to hate them.

Josh left the dome in a daze. He wasn’t even sure how he had arrived at the company building, only that between one breath and the next, he was in front of Justin and then was suddenly in front of Ken. 

“Where were you?” Ken asked.

Josh looked around. Apparently, he’d headed for Ken’s studio in a daze. He spotted Pablo on his seat in front of the console, while Stell was peeking in from the recording booth.

“You texted me earlier this morning to cancel our lunch, but you didn’t say why,” Ken asked, frowning. His red wings were half unfurled and were twitching in agitation.

“Ahh, sorry,” Josh said.

“Are you okay?” Pablo spoke up, frowning. “You look… weird.”

Ken reached out, holding Josh gently by the arms and then guided him to sit down on the nearby couch before kneeling in front of him. Josh vaguely noticed Stell walking out from the recording booth to join them. 

“Josh?” Ken asked softly. “Are you okay?”

Ken’s wing reached out and the tips of his outermost primaries touched the end of Josh’s own. They were cinched against his back and wing-netted like always, but they twitched in response to Ken’s. Rubbing wings was a motion made to comfort, and while it was soothing coming from Ken, it just reminded Josh of his dilemma.

“I’m fine,” Josh said, sighing deeply. “I went to see Justin.”

“Who’s Justin? A friend?” Ken asked.

Stell cleared his throat. “A boyfriend?”

Pablo snorted. Ken twitched. Josh shook his head.

“Justin is my wing doctor.”

Josh had never made any mention at all of his wings or anything related to it, so this definitely got their attention.

“Are your wings hurt?” Ken immediately asked. His gaze darted towards the appendages, though he wouldn’t be able to see exactly what was wrong, considering they were tucked closed.

“No, uh, it was just a checkup. It’s nothing,” Josh said, shaking his head again.

“It doesn’t seem like nothing,” Stell commented, sitting down on Josh’s other side from where Ken’s wing were spread out. He placed a hand on Josh’s shoulder. 

“You were really pale when you walked in. Are you all right?”

From other people, Josh would be wary. He knew his wings were a tantalizing mystery to some, but from these people, from his friends, all he felt was genuine concern.

But still, he was afraid.

“I’m fine,” Josh said.

“Are you sure?” Ken asked. His wings twitched again.

Josh nodded. His own wings rustled, rubbing subtly against Ken, though remaining firmly closed.

“I promise I’m fine.”

He had no choice. He had to be.

Josh worked in the music industry. In essence, it wasn’t a particularly dangerous sort of profession. Sure there were intense and entitled fans and some artists had their heads too far up their asses. They’d had cases where their artists had stalkers and intense fans and they’d had their fair share of rude artists and staff before, but Josh had never had any dangerous sort of encounters. The more interested fans knew of him as the manager handling their favorite artists and those in the industry knew who he was, but aside from that, he had never thought of himself as being particularly noteworthy enough to end up in dangerous situations.

So he had no reason at all to feel scared for his life during a party at a bar.

It was an album launch event for one of their solo artists, Lianne. She was one of their best-selling artists, still just twenty-three but had debuted at the tender age of seventeen. Josh had worked with her during her debut and many times since, so he was in attendance for moral support. Pablo, Stell, and Ken were there too since they were all credited in her album.

Josh walked in, feeling a little excited. He liked a good party, especially with friends.

“Josh, hey!” Ken appeared, looking handsome in a fitted dark gray top that looked molded to his body and baggy black jeans. His red wings caught the light, making them shine. 

The music and the people were loud, so he moved close, placing a hand on Josh’s side. It felt warm.

Ken looked at him up and down. His face looked a little red, but it was probably just the light. 

“Wow! You look great!”

Josh tried not to blush. He had felt like dressing a bit bolder that night, wearing a leather vest over a black fishnet top and tight jeans.

“Thank you. So do you.”

“Did you drive over?” Ken asked. “I told you I could come pick you up.”

“My assistant dropped me off. It’s fine. I didn’t want to bother you.”

Ken grabbed his hand. “Come on. I saved you a seat. Pabs and Stell are with us.”

Josh followed, relieved to be with friends, though when he saw the bottles on their table, he felt a bit anxious.

Ken squeezed his hand. “Don’t worry. I know you don’t drink, so I just asked for Coke in an alcohol bottle.”

“Oh.” Josh smiled. That was really considerate. He had never really liked alcohol. He hated anything that would dull his senses and make him lose focus.

Ken handed him a bottle. “It’s got this red mark on the bottom so you know it’s yours. Don’t worry. I checked. It’s really just soda.”

“Thank you, Ken.”  Josh took a sip and then tapped his bottle against Ken’s. “Don’t drink so much.”

“I won’t, I promise,” Ken said. He touched Josh’s arm. “And what you said about bothering me, forget that. I’ll drive you home later, okay?”

Josh’s wings twitched behind him. Ken was sweet, so sweet. It was honestly torture on Josh’s tender heart, but he was weak and it felt so good to have the other male around. 

“Okay.”

The launch and the brief press coverage went well, and eventually people were mostly hanging around to party and drink.

Josh chuckled when he saw Pablo and Stell dancing together. They were a couple, but they weren’t exactly advertising that fact considering their jobs. It was cute to see them together though. As for Ken, Josh could see him by the bar grabbing them more drinks. He was always extra careful to hand Josh his soda in an alcohol bottle, which Josh greatly appreciated.

“Josh? Josh Cullen?”

Josh turned, surprised at coming face to face with someone familiar.

“A… Andrei?”

Andrei was one of Josh’s old classmates. He was from… from That Time.

He was tall and lean, brown hair and brown eyes. He and Josh weren’t close friends per se, but they had been classmates and Josh wasn’t impolite enough to completely ignore him.

“It’s been years, but I knew I recognized you,” Andrei moved close to their table, despite not being invited. He was in a white button up and slacks, not quite a club outfit, but who was Josh to judge.

“Um, yeah, hi.” Josh made sure his wings were tight against his back and covered by his net, even as he shook the other male’s hand. “Uh, w-what are you doing here?”

“A friend invited me as her plus one,” Andrei said.

They made a bit of small talk and Josh tried not to seem too awkward despite the nervousness thrumming through him. 

“You seem to be doing well for yourself, a big boss around, I see.”

It made Josh feel unsettled. “I, uh, well, I had help and worked on it. But I’m not as big as you think.”

“Really?” Andrei asked, leaning forward. Josh tried not to step back. “You seem to have become so successful despite what happened before—”

“Josh!”

Josh tried not to sigh in relief.

Ken appeared, holding onto a cup and Josh’s soda-alcohol bottle. “Hey, Josh. Lianne is…” He paused, eyeing Andrei. Ken’s wings puffed up a bit.

“Uh, hello?” 

At least Andrei seemed to bow out gracefully, especially with Ken’s rather tetchy display. “I think I should go. Later, Josh. Have a good night.”

Ken watched Andrei walk away before turning to Josh. “Who’s he?”

It was a bit rude, but Josh was honestly just happy Ken was back. 

“Someone I used to know,” Josh said, taking his bottle and downing half it with a gulp.

Ken looked at him, frowning, but Josh just shook his head and Ken accepted that. He moved close, taking up Andrei’s former spot, which immediately made Josh relax.

“Anyway, Lianne told me she was invited to perform abroad,” Ken said, turning the mood lighter. “Did you have a hand in that?”

About half an hour later, Stell and Pablo made it to their table. They both seemed a little tipsy and were standing far too close than they usually did in public, but Josh was happy the couple had a chance to have fun. As they playfully bickered with Ken, Josh stood up.

Ken immediately turned to him, but Josh touched his hand.

“I’ll just head to the bathroom. Be right back.”

After doing his business, Josh sighed, staying in the relatively safety of the hallway outside the bathroom. One side led to the alley out back, another to the main floor, and the one to his right was to the bar’s kitchen and back room. 

He was contemplating if it was time to go home, when the door to his right swung open and someone came out. 

“Andrei?”

Andrei paused. He had a tray in hand. 

“Uh… hi… I didn’t… uh…”

It didn’t take two and two to figure it out. Apparently, Andrei wasn’t actually there as a guest. He was there as the help.

Josh decided not to pay attention to it. He didn’t want to be rude, and it was obvious by Andrei’s red face that he was embarrassed.

“Hey, there. Just got out.” He motioned to the bathroom. He smiled politely. “It was good to see you, Andrei. Take care.”

Josh turned and took a strategic retreat. There was nothing wrong with working in a bar, but he didn’t want to assume anything about a stranger that he hadn’t seen in two decades, so he decided it was better to leave things alone.

He made his way out, only to suddenly feel a sharp crack on the back of his head and sink into nothingness.

“—not fair! I didn’t ask for this!”

Josh felt pain, an echo of something familiar from his childhood.

“—everyone knew about it! It was why they took you! The luck, the wish! I never fucking believed it, but look at you now with your rich friends and being so fucking famous!”

Josh felt his body getting shoved.

There was a sharp intake of breath.

“Fu—fucking hell. Is this—is this gold ?”

The moment he heard that word adrenaline shot through Josh like a knife.

Josh immediately snapped awake, throwing his arms out but also snapping out his wings as hard as he could. His right wing and arm collided with something and he heard someone’s sharp gasp before he was thrown off.

Josh scrambled up, looking around. He was in the back alley of the club. His head was aching fiercely, his leather vest was gone, his fishnet top was ripped, and his wing nets were gone, leaving his wings to flare out. 

And there was someone with him.

Josh placed a hand against the wall, trying not to stumble.

“Andrei, what the fuck is wrong with you?”

Andrei faced him and Josh was immediately afraid.

His eyes . They were crazy.

Andrei started murmuring. “I never believed those stupid things, but they said so. They all said so. White wings, they said. That was why they took you, right? Everyone knew.”

He stepped forward and Josh stumbled back. His head was aching and his wings felt a bit sore, but he didn’t have the luxury of checking what Andrei had done to him so far. 

“And now look at you! All that money and all that fame, when I have to scrub the fucking toilets after you fucking rich kids puked all over them!” Andrei moved closer, grinning maniacally. His wings, a dark brown with white spots, were spread out, making him seem bigger. 

“So I just want one feather or a few. Come on, Josh. Help me out.”

“Get the fuck away from me!” Josh hissed.

But Andrei was quick, and more than that, he was deranged. He lunged at Josh, which took him off guard and they went down in a tumble of limbs, feathers, and wings. It didn’t help that Josh was still dizzy from the hit to the back of his head.

Josh fought. He didn’t want to give up even a single feather, not to this fucking lunatic. But he was injured and Andrei was stronger and powered by sheer desire. He easily pinned Josh down. His wings were also stronger and more mobile and they fanned out and pinned Josh’s own beneath them.

“Fuck. Fuck.” Andrei was murmuring. “People would pay damn good money for these wings.”

Those words had Josh panicking and he reared up, punching Andrei across the face. Andrei pushed back though and backhanded Josh so hard his head started spinning. He felt hands on his wings and kicked back, trying to keep the other man away, but Andrei was strong. He grabbed a wing and tugged. Josh gasped when he felt something give and in his panic he lashed out, using his hurting wing. He ignored the pain and kicked out his legs, managing to hit Andrei on the stomach. He then swung his arm blindly, thankfully managing to clip the side of Andrei’s head.

Andrei was still fighting though and he crawled towards Josh, gnashing his teeth like an animal.

Josh reached out, finding something, anything, to use as a weapon. His fingers made contact with something plastic and he immediately swung it upwards. It had turned out to be the plastic tray that Andrei had hit him with earlier. It connected right smack with the other man’s face, making him fall back in an unconscious heap.

Josh dropped the trap and dropped down on his back, sweaty and heaving and winded. After a few moments, he sat up. His head was aching and he felt pain radiating along his spine. He gasped when he tried to move his wings. 

“Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck. ”

He glanced over his shoulder and his heart dropped into his stomach. His left wing was hanging awkwardly behind him and any attempt to fold it back resulted in a pain so excruciating it almost made Josh black out.

“No. No. No,” he sobbed.

If Josh had to guess, his wing was broken.

Josh tried to stagger to his feet. He was shaking and fear and pain was making his brain fuzzy. He knew Justin would accept an emergency call at any time, but he couldn’t find his phone and he didn’t know what to do.

And Josh was afraid. He didn’t want to risk grabbing a taxi or going on the bus and having people see his wings. He was wounded and lightheaded and defenseless. Who knew what would happen?

He could go back inside, but one wrong move would break his wings even more. And there were so many people with cameras. What if there were others idiots that shared Andrei’s belief in these stupid, stupid wings.

Josh’s head was spinning. He didn’t know what to do.

There was a scrape of metal and Josh’s head jerked around as the back door was pushed open. He almost wanted to run despite the pain coursing through him.

“Josh? Josh, are you out here? Where the hell are you?”

The door was thrown open and all Josh saw was red.

“I don’t think he’s here.”

Ken.

The man stepped out and immediately spotted Josh.

“Josh! What the hell!” He looked back for a moment. “Pau, Stell, he’s here!”

Ken would help. Josh didn’t want him to see his wings, but… but Ken was safe. Safe. Josh trusted him. He stumbled in his direction.

Please. Please.

“Ken, help.”

Ken moved forward, only to pause. His eyes widened at the sight behind Josh.

“Josh, your… your wings. They’re… they’re white .”

Please don’t let Josh be wrong.

“Ken, please.”

Please be different.

Josh felt himself fall. He heard a shout and then felt a pain so intense that he immediately lost consciousness.

Josh woke up to the feeling of someone preening his wings. It felt like a soothing massage. He briefly wondered if he had fallen asleep during one of Justin’s checkups again.

But then flashes of what had happened came to him and Josh sat up, only to hiss at a sharp pain in his head and his back. He felt hands stopping him from moving. 

“Josh, Josh, it’s me.”

Josh looked up through hazy eyes to see Justin.

“I’m here, Josh. Calm down.”

Justin was here. It was all right.

Josh sagged against the bed—oh, he was on a bed—and sighed. He was on his right side with his wings fanned out behind him.

“I–I broke a wing,” Josh said. “It needs to set right or it’ll heal wrong.”

“I know. It’s all good now. And it was just dislocated, not broken. We popped it back and bound it up,” Justin said soothingly. 

We.

Now that he thought about it, Justin was in front of him and someone was preening his wings from behind.

Justin was watching him so closely that he saw the moment Josh realized it. He placed a hand on Josh’s shoulder.

“Ken’s here.”

The preening stopped and a whimper escaped Josh instinctively. He sighed when those hands returned, petting his wings.

“C–Can I sit up?”

Justin nodded. “Here. Come on.” 

Justin helped him sit up and from behind him, Josh could feel someone holding his wings gently, especially his left one which was bound tight against his spine. Once he was seated, he looked around. He was in one of Justin’s spare bedrooms, the ones where Josh slept in sometimes when he stayed over. And going by the clock on the wall, it was about four in the morning.

“Ken?”

Ken walked around the bed and kneeled on the side. He held out a hand and Josh took it. Josh held it like a lifeline. Ken’s wing flared out, wrapping around Josh’s injured one.

“Are you okay?”

Josh shook his head, because he wasn’t. 

“W–What happened?”

“We saw you and that… that guy and figured out what happened.” Ken made a face. “Stell and I got you out and Pablo stayed to deal with the mess. That guy—Andrei was it?— he’s in police custody. You know Pablo knows some people, so he’s making sure it’s all being handled discreetly.”

“He didn’t get a feather, did he?” Josh asked.

“We picked up all the feathers that fell and Pablo checked it out too. You’re safe,” Ken said, squeezing his hands.

“How are my wings?” Josh turned to Justin.

“Your left wing got dislocated, but it was clean and popped back into place. There aren’t any major damages,” Justin said, which made Josh sigh in relief. “They’re going to be sore though and need to be bound for about two to three weeks. Your head is okay. You got a scratch at the back, but thankfully it doesn’t seem like you got a concussion. Aside from that, there were some plucked feathers and a few scratches and bruises all over, but you’re going to be okay after a few days of rest.”

“Thank you, Justin,” Josh said.

Justin smiled and reached out. Josh accepted a tight hug. He then noticed the way Justin’s pretty wings drooped, as if they had been tense all this time. Josh hugged his friend harder.

“Anything for you. I’m just relieved nothing worse happened.” Justin sent him a gummy smile. He glanced at Ken. “I have to clean up, but I’ll be back. You can stay here for today, okay?”

Justin walked off, closing the door behind him, but not before pointing to Ken.

“Oh, get Josh to drink some medication, okay?”

Ken nodded and immediately stood up to rifle through the things on the bedside table. He approached Josh with a glass of water and a few pills.

“Here, pain relievers, something to avoid infection, and something for your wings,” Ken said. “Justin said you have to take a few over the next couple of days and get regular check ups too.”

Josh took them and drank the glass, sighing in relief. 

“Thank you, Ken. I’m really thankful you’re here.”

“I wish I found you sooner,” Ken said, frowning. His wings turned taut, a sign of anger and agitation. “It shouldn’t have happened.”

It shouldn’t, but it did.

Wasn’t that the story of Josh’s life?

After a few moments of silence, Ken nudged Josh’s wings gently with his.

“They’re beautiful though. Your wings, I mean.”

Josh laughed, a pained thing that even had Ken wincing. “Sure,” he said bitterly, “Pretty to look at but even prettier plucked out and used for some stupid wishes or for whatever stupid thing people believe in.”

Ken's face fell and he looked so sad, but it wasn't sadness for Josh, but a shared, empathic pain.

“I… I saw it,” he said softly. “The scar on your…” He motioned to Josh’s back. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that. You shouldn’t have to be afraid to show people your wings.”

“I didn’t want to risk it. I can’t,” Josh said.“It’s why I—I trust you, I do. You and Stell and Pablo. More than anyone. But I—I can’t—I—”

Josh cursed when he felt the back of his eyes grow warm.

“I know. It’s okay. I understand now,” Ken said, reaching out to hold both of Josh’s hands. He lifted them to his lips, brushing a gentle kiss against them.

The touch of gentleness made him weak, made him spill a secret he never thought he’d say. 

“I did most of the other damage myself, you know, thought they’d change colors if I just…” 

Josh trailed off. He refused to look at Ken. He was unable to curl his wings to himself, injured as they were, so he shrunk in on himself, trying to hide from the disgust or pity or scorn he just knew would be on Ken’s face. He’d never even told Justin about it, though there was no doubt the young doctor had figured it out himself.

He used to pluck his wings. No one did that. What kind of monster was he?

But barely seconds later, he found himself wrapped up in strong arms and a soft bed of red feathers that seemed to hide him from the world. 

“It’s not your fault,” Ken insisted. “It’s not your fault. I wish you didn’t have to go through all of that, but it’s okay now. You have us. You have me. You’re not alone. You don’t have to be scared.”

He rubbed Josh’s back and hugged him tighter.

“And your wings are still beautiful, Josh, not because of their color, but because they’re your wings. Please believe that.”

Josh covered his face with his hands and tried to get a hold of himself. He wasn’t successful, but that was okay. Ken was with him, wrapped around him in soft comforting red, and for the first time in such a long time, Josh felt safe enough to cry.

The entire mess was handled swiftly under Pablo’s iron hand and for that Josh was thankful. Josh didn’t even have to get involved, save for identifying his attacker. They had fudged the details a bit and Andrei was at least wise enough not to blab about Josh’s wings, knowing that the claim of attacking Josh for his white wings would result in a much graver punishment. Thankfully though, Pablo had been able to pull some strings with some trusted people to make sure Andrei was locked up and was as far away from Josh as possible.

“I’m just relieved you’re okay,” Pablo said when Josh tried to take him. He hugged Josh tightly. “You’re safe with us. Don’t worry.”

Stell had been a whirlwind too. He immediately brought Justin into the fold so that he could make sure Josh healed well… in body, to be specific. Because the one other person who matched Stell’s intensity was Ken, who made it his personal mission to learn to care for Josh’s wings.

The thought made Josh blush and made something warm grow in his tummy. 

Because caring for another person’s wings was something personal and private, a courting ritual that was taken seriously even now.

When Josh tried to dissuade Ken—for the sake of his heart and his own peace of mind—Ken shook his head.

“I want to,” Ken said firmly. He looked nervous, but determined.

“I want to groom your wings. I want to feed you. I want to…” His wings were stiff and shaking. “I would like to date you and court you, officially. I’ve been trying for weeks to get the nerve, with all of our lunch dates, but I kept chickening out because I didn’t know if you wanted to—”

“Yes.” Josh blurted out. “Yes, I… I… I want that. Please.”

Ken paused and his eyes widened. 

“Oh. Oh, I… That’s great!”

Ken beamed, his wings unfurling to present themselves to Josh. They arched above him in a gesture that was both familiar and foreign. It was another courting thing, presenting one’s wings, showing the fullness and vulnerable underside of them. And Ken was presenting. To him. To Josh.

Josh squeezed his hand tightly and returned the gesture. He only had one working wing at the moment, but he tried, letting out his right white and gold-tipped wing and arching it high to reach out to Ken’s. 

Ken’s eyes were wide, awed at the sight of their wings brushing against each other’s. Then he giggled, soft and sweet, before looking Josh in the eye. He smiled and lifted their joint hands to kiss the back of Josh’s.

Josh took a deep breath. 

“Just please… take it easy on me.” 

Don’t break my heart.

Ken kissed his hand again. 

“Don’t worry. I’ll take care of you.” 

I won’t.

Josh’s wings rustled in pleasure.

“How come you hide your wings, Boss Josh?”

The question was a little loud even in the midst of a room full of trainees.

If it were before, Josh would instantly make his excuses and run, but long months of working on being healthier and more accepting—plus therapy, courtesy of Stell and Justin’s joint efforts—as well as many blissful months of being loved , kept the panic at bay. Josh still stiffened at the sudden question, but it was a fleeting emotion and he looked up from his ipad where he was reading paperwork, a smile on his face.

He was working with their company trainees today, all of them young and enthusiastic fledglings, and still a bit unaware of the goings on inside the company. One of the senior coaches tried to wave off the teen’s question, but Josh just smiled, motioning that it was fine.

“It’s a personal preference,” Josh responded. “My wings are f–fine, but I like having them netted, that’s all.”

“I bet they’re beautiful,” one of the girls spoke up. Her friends giggled. “Because Boss Josh is really handsome.”

Josh chuckled. Ahh, that age old stereotype.

“They are. Beautiful, I mean. And Josh is handsome, too. You’ve got a good eye.”

There was no denying the way every muscle in Josh’s body relaxed at that voice. He even felt his wings loosening a little from their usual tight curl, though the pretty red and black wing net that Ken had bought for him made sure they were still safely hidden and ensconced.

He turned around, just as Ken popped up behind his seat, placing a hand on his back just above his wing joint. Ken’s wings reached out to brush against Josh’s in a gentle caress.

“Besides, he doesn’t hide them. Well, not from me. Boyfriend privileges.” Ken grinned, all teeth.

The staff all groaned, sick of such displays, but the excitable trainees all giggled and cooed.

Josh elbowed his boyfriend. “Ken sucks at grooming them though.”

Laughter ensued and Ken yelped.

“Hey! That’s not true!”

Josh just chuckled. It was a joke though. If anything, Josh’s wings had never looked or felt better under Ken’s gentle hands. Despite the therapy, Josh still didn’t like handling them himself, anxiety thrumming through him whenever he thought about white and gold, but he didn’t feel as anxious when he entrusted them in Ken’s hands.

“All right, all right, break time’s over.” Ken clapped his hands. “Get your butts and wings up. Your deliberation is in three days and we’re not going to be kind about it.”

That got all of them to move. As they hustled, Ken turned to Josh, smiling.

“We have a few more minutes left for this, but Pau and Stell insisted we all get lunch together. I’m thinking we can either drag Justin out with us or get take out and hang out at his place. Is that okay?”

“Sounds great,” Josh said.

Ken pressed a kiss to his forehead and his fingers rubbed Josh’s neck gently before he jogged off to whip some trainees into shape.

Josh smiled. 

His heart, his soul, his wings—he felt light.

He looked out the window. 

He’d ask Ken later if maybe they could just get take out and spend time at the dome.

Because it looked like a good day to fly.