Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Eddie stood, hand resting on the frame of Christopher's door. The boy slept fitfully, shoulders twitching under mounds of blankets that covered everything but the tuft of curls along his head. It had been a long night of constant up and down for Eddie. It had been that way since the tsunami, the nightmares never seeming to end for the eight-year-old. Eddie's own dreams had been filled with horrifying what-ifs. The moment he thought Chris was gone replaying like a cruel record throughout the night.

Eddie slowly closed the door until only a crack remained, the light from the hall becoming a thin sliver that spread across the room like a pin light. It took more strength than he wanted to admit to pull himself away from his silent vigil. The memory of Christopher's irritation at his hovering just that morning finally gets his feet to move from their welded spot. It ended up being perfect timing as the moment he reached the living room, his cell rang shrilly.

Panic filled his chest as images of Buck injured flashed through his mind as he fumbled, almost dropping his phone in the process. The words 'Mom' across the screen made his shoulders sag with a heavy sigh of both relief and irritation.

Eddie loved his parents, he couldn't deny it, but their past was hard to shake. They had been helpful for Shannon while he was stuck in his head in Afghanistan, stepping up while he was too deep in denial to admit to himself he was running away. That didn't mean he could get their last in person conversation out of his head. The way they tore down his parenting and threatened his parental rights when he was telling them his plan to move to L.A. The tension never went away, even when Abuela stepped up and convinced them to drop the parental dispute. Their lack of apologies and the way they continued to question every decision he made, even from halfway across the country, didn't endear them to him either.

"Mom," Eddie said into the phone, unable to hold back the heavy sigh the word came out as. "What can I do for you? It's late here," he said as he sat back on his couch. His back twinged from the tension and stress the past week had built.

"Edmundo, I don't appreciate your tone. I know we have been calling a lot more than usual lately, but can you blame us? Not only did you not tell us when Chris was hurt, but you waited days to let us know he was alright. Do you know the terror I felt when I saw the news?" Helena Diaz ranted. A common conversation that had gotten old the second time Eddie heard it.

"I was a little preoccupied to make phone calls at the time. I would think you would understand where my priorities were." Eddie couldn't keep the frustration from his voice, the tension that had grown with each call until it became a toxic ball of sludge resting heavily around his chest. The familiar anger he had been pushing away since the bombing incident rearing its ugly head.

"Don't take that tone with your mother. You know we were only worried about you. We told you taking Chris to L.A. was a terrible mistake. But you decided you know best and ran headfirst into it without care for your son." Ramon argued, cutting off Helena's angry gasp of breath. Eddie could feel his nails digging into the palm of his free hand as he tried to reign in the biting remark on the tip of his tongue.

"We've gone over this before. Chris is happy here, happier than he ever was in El Paso. I am happy here. I won't defend my decisions to you again, I can't go through this again," Eddie seethed, unable to keep the hurt from straining his words. "If you want to call Chris, you know I won't stop you, but I think it's best we don't talk for a while. Until everything calms down."

"Edmundo, you know we only want what's best for Christopher," Helena said, words spoken in a condescendingly soothing tone. "We had a reason for this call outside of our usual concerns," Helena cut in, rolling over what Eddie just said. "We think it would be a good idea to go for a custody agreement between us and you. Our attorney thinks it will be a good idea for all of us, now that Shannon is gone and you're officially a single parent."

Eddie felt his stomach tense, the rushing sound of water filled his ears as something uncomfortably close to betrayal froze his longs. He had to take a moment to tamp down on the hurt threatening to spill over before he could speak. "You're talking to the attorney again? I thought we moved past you both trying to take my son from me," he ground out, words cutting through his throat like knives. He would think he would be past being shocked by the lengths his parents would go to, but it cut him raw every time.

"We just don't want Chris to go through being left behind again. he would have stability here, a family that could stay with him throughout the day. People to take care of him who aren't strangers. Someone who won't leave when things get tough." Helena said, each word stabbing into Eddie's heart and stealing the air from the room. This was the same song and dance Eddie had been going through with his parents since Chris was born. Every choice he made, whether right or wrong, quickly thrown back in his face when he couldn't meet his parents forever changing expectations.

"Enough, I can't do this again," he got out, his voice tight and painful as he clicked the end button. Not even the satisfaction of hearing his parent's voices being cut off as he hung up on them could improve the funk his mood had settled into. He pushed the hair back off his forehead, leaning back against the couch as he tried to take calming breaths. The rage wouldn't be contained, building into a fire that burned him from the inside out. The room suddenly felt suffocating. The silence was too deep and still. He barely realized he had moved his phone back up to his ear until he heard the ring echo on the other end.

"Eddie?" Buck's voice asked over the line. Eddie could picture the way his face would screw up in confusion and a little fear at the unexpected late call. It was understandable, with the tsunami and everything that happened leading up to it, for Buck to be weary of unplanned late calls.

"Sorry, everyone is fine. Chris is okay. I just... Can you come over?" Eddie asked, the words feeling painful and awkward. He was sure Buck could hear the strain even from over the phone. Eddie had to bite back the pressure building that demanded he keep himself bottled up. Something he still dealt with, even though it had lessened since he first joined the 118.

"Yeah, don't sweat it. I'm already on my way," Buck said, and it was true. Eddie could hear the ding of his car door opening before the sound of it slamming shut. The familiar rev of it turning over muffled over the phone. "Anything I need to know before I get to yours? Is this a 'bring tequila' kind of moment?"

A quick puff of air left Eddie's nose as he tried to hold back his amusement. "No, nothing that serious. Just have something I need to talk to someone objective about. Could use your worldly advice," he admitted, the lilting amusement plain to hear over the phone.

"Finally, someone realizes my wisdom," Buck laughs, followed by the blare of horns and a muffled curse.

"I'm hanging up before you get yourself killed, oh wise man of wisdom," Eddie smirked before ending the call. It wasn't until the room was once again plunged into silence that he realized the heavy cloak of negative emotions had disappeared. The lack of that weight made his stomach and chest feel airy. A fluttering, tickling feeling he doesn't like to examine too closely filling the now empty space around his chest. He basks in it while he can, head tilted back, and eyes closed as he finally feels a little comfortable after days of tension. He missed talking to Buck this past week. The last time they had seen each other was when he brought Christopher over to reassure Buck he was still trusted. Before the Chief had told him he was to take a week off to settle everything from the traumatic day.

The sound of the lock turning into the door had his head perking up off the cushion. Buck seemed to be tiptoeing in, shoulders hunched like he was sneaking in, even though he was invited. This habit was something Eddie had been working on fixing after he had given Buck a key.

"Hey, you okay?" Buck asks, eyes darting around the room before settling on Eddie. His eyebrows were pulled tightly together, stretching his birthmarks. Even the way he flopped onto the other end of the couch seemed more tense than usual. "Not to say I'm ever not down to come over, but you sounded off on the phone," he shrugged.

Eddie couldn't hold in the sigh, hand scrubbing over his eyes and forehead as it left his lungs. "I just... It's already been hard, getting Chris and everything settled. With Shannon, the bombing, the tsunami, it's like the second I feel everything is doing good, it all crumbles out beneath me," he tries to explain. He keeps his hand over his eyes, hiding from his own venting.

A shuddering breath, so quiet he thinks he imagined it for a moment, has him letting his hand fall into his lap as he looks over at Buck. His once nervous posture has tensed further, eyes downcast as his shoulders hunch up around his ears. Eddie's brows pinch in a look of concern that imitated the one Buck had thrown at him when he first arrived.

"If I hadn't taken him to the pier..." Buck trailed off, voice thick with self-loathing and guilt. "You wouldn't be having to deal with these problems if I wasn't a magnet for the stuff."

"No," Eddie cut him off, hand slapping down on Buck's tense shoulder. "No, this isn't on you. I don't want you to blame yourself for any of this. If it wasn't for you, I would have lost Chris. I mean, fuck Buck, I almost lost you both," he said, voice cutting off from emotion as his thumbs dig comfortingly into Buck's shoulder. "I would never blame you for something like this. No one could have known that tsunami would hit when it did. In fact, I'm so grateful you were with Chris when it happened. I don't know what I would have done if-" he cuts himself off, shaking off the spiraling thoughts he didn't want to get too deep into. They threatened to swell up and swallow him down into the dark depths that would keep him trapped in a cycle of paranoid 'what ifs'.

The two sit in companionable silence for a moment. The only sound filling the room being the low buzz of the fridge and a car passing by the house every so often. Buck's thigh had moved to press up against Eddie's at some point, soaking up and giving back a comfort neither man was expecting to need. "My parents called. They have been calling, every day since the tsunami," Eddie finally broke the peaceful stillness that had settled over them.

"They are probably worried about you both," Buck said, voice so low it was almost a whisper.

"They called their attorney. They want to file for a custody agreement, so they have parental rights to Chris," Eddie said, jumping straight into what was wrong so he doesn't end up circling around the main point of the problem. He could feel the moment Buck processed what he said. The muscle under his hand bunched as Buck's body tensed.

"They can't do that. No judge would give them any form of custody while you're in the picture. They don't have a ground to stand on," Buck seethed, words thick and offended on Eddie's behalf. His hand's fly up as he talks, waving anxiously and knocking Eddie's hand from his shoulder.

Eddie couldn't shake the little flutter in his stomach at the way Buck was offended for him. "I don't know Buck. The thought that they would even go through with it is enough to have me second guessing myself. This could be like last time. Then, Abuela talked them out of it before it could go far. But if it's different and I have to go to a judge..." He shakes his head, unable to finish the thought.

"I can't handle them tearing down every decision I make, all the progress I've made. They make me second guess if I'm really what's best for Christopher," Eddie admits. His voice trails off painfully.

"That's bullshit. You are amazing with Chris. Anyone could see how much he adores you," Buck reaches out, now resting his hand on Eddie's shoulder like Eddie had moments ago.

"Is that enough for a judge though? Does it erase those years I ran from being his dad? No matter what I do or how much I regret it, I can't seem to outlive those choices I made." Eddie leaned forward, elbows resting on his thighs and his head in his hands. His mind racing back to those years he had left Shannon to raise Chris on her own.

"You know, after the well incident, I edited my will," Eddie said, ignoring the way Buck's hand tensed against his shoulder. "In case I ever... I didn't want to leave Chris up to fate if I ever left him alone like that."

"Eddie..." Buck said, voice strained and body tense against Eddie's side.

"I know I didn't talk to you about it first, and that's not fair. I was just, so afraid at the idea of Chris being alone or shipped off to live with my parents when you would are the only one I trust to take care of him the way I would."

They both sit in silence again. This one filled with aw and anxiety instead of comfort.

"If it makes you feel any better, my attorney said you could refuse when the time comes," Eddie says, voice gentle.

"You know I wouldn't turn it down," Buck said, voice strained from the shock he still wasn't able to shake off.

"I knew you wouldn't turn it down," Eddie echos with a smirk, the tension leaving his face and softening his eyes. He could see the way Buck's eyes were wide, face relaxed with a look he couldn't decipher, but it sent another zap fluttering through his chest.

"I'm scared that even if my parents don't go forward with their threats of a custody agreement, they will somehow get around my will if it came to it," Eddie admitted so softly it was almost as if he was afraid someone would hear and it would become true.

Buck leaned forward until both men were in the same position, elbows on thighs and hands clasped in front of their chins. "So, we need a way to make it harder for them to get to him," Buck hummed, voice soft like he was speaking to himself. The two lapsed into a silence that settled until the sound of crickets filled the space between them. Their eyes staring ahead blankly at the black tv screen.

Suddenly, Eddie saw Buck's reflection sit up straight. The movement so sudden it looked like someone stabbed a fork into his spine. His hands fell down limply in his lap where he played nervously with his fingers. "I have a crazy idea and I don't know if you'll hit me or think it's genius," Buck admitted.

Eddie waited a moment, the silence stretching too long before he spoke. "Well, don't keep me waiting," he said, motioning for Buck to continue.

"Okay, so, you know how we were talking the other day before," he motioned with his hand, rolling it over back and forth, "this happened. We both said how we were done dating until the universe slapped us with a relationship," Buck continued, voice becoming more animated the more he spoke.

"Correction, you said until the universe slapped you with a relationship. I said I was done dating," Eddie cut in, holding back amused exasperation at the memory.

Buck flapped his hand, sitting up so tall it almost looked like he was trying to float out of his seat. "Whatever, what I'm getting at is, what if we," he motioned between the two of them aggressive enough to accidentally smack Eddie's arm a couple times," got married so I could adopt Chris?"

The words ended with a sudden silence that rang almost audibly. Eddie was frozen, mouth open in shock as he looked at his best friend, who he was starting to think was loony. "Are you insane?" He managed; voice strangled.

"I know it sounds extreme but think about it. I love Chris, we both want to make sure he is always taken care of, and we both don't want to date. Not to mention, we work great as a team," He lists off, tapping his fingers hard enough to bend his hand back at the wrist.

"You're forgetting the fact this would practically trap you," Eddie cut him off. He was sure his eyes looked too wide from his shock. "What you're suggesting would practically be permanent. Chris wouldn't just be your friend's kid; he would be yours as well. Legally responsible, Buck," Eddie stressed.

"I know," Buck said, voice both painfully soft and achingly heavy. "Eddie, you and Chris are important to me. You're my best friend, after Chris of course," He smirked, tapping his elbow against Eddie's. "I would do anything to make sure you're both okay. Doing this isn't the burden you think it is. It would almost be... an honor to co-parent with you," his voice trails off with a huff. Eddie could only stare, stomach swooping with emotions he wasn't willing to look too deeply at. His eyes searched Buck's face, trying to find any degree of dishonesty in his words but only finding a pink blush that spreads out to his ears. He's mesmerized by the sight, the world becoming muted and fuzzy as he watched Buck's throat bob with a swallow.

"Buck," Eddie whispered, voice trailing off before he sucks in a deep breath. He let it out, the tension in his shoulders following. "Okay," he nods, clearing his throat of the thickness there. "Okay, let's do it."

The way Buck's face lit up erased any doubts Eddie had over this plan. Even as they continued to talk, nightmares and worries chased away by optimistic planning, Eddie couldn't stop his mind from replaying Buck's words for the rest of the night.

Chapter Text

"Bucky!"

Eddie shot up, fuzzy eyes darting around the living room before falling on Christopher, who had wondered in after finding his dad not in bed. The heavy body tangled in his legs gave a grunt before rolling off the couch, his foot just barely missing Eddie's face. Both Chris and Eddie ignored the thump of Buck hitting the floor.

"Dad... Why are you and Buck on the couch? When did he come over?" Chris asked, a wide smile splitting his face as he stumbled forward. His hand's fluttered at his sides as he watched Buck lay sprawled out between the couch and coffee table.

"Hey superman," Buck grins up at him. His hands reach up towards Chris as the boy comes forward, bare feet dragging on the ground as he moves without his crutches. Eddie doesn't realize he's grinning as he watches Chris collapse in Buck's waiting arms. The boy's giggles peal through the air, infectious. "Your dad and I were up last night talking business. Time got away from us," Buck said, throwing a sheepish look Eddie's way.

"But you know what that means?" Buck asks, already scooping Chris up as he gets to his feet with a mighty 'oof'.

"Pancakes," Chris squeals, arms wrapped around Buck's shoulders as he's carried off into the kitchen. As the two walk away, Eddie lets his eyes fall closed as he listens to Chris's laughter and Buck's rumbling voice. He can't stop that nagging voice at the back of his mind pointing out how close he got to losing this. How if one thing had been different, he would be stuck in a silence so painfully devoid of this laughter, he wouldn't be able to live through it. A painful throb had him pressing his palm into the center of his chest. A pressure building behind his eyes and cheeks as he breaths through the sudden swell of emotions.

"You okay?" The sudden sound of Buck's voice behind him causes him to jump. He looks up over his shoulder, eyes probably damp and wide with the panic he wasn't able to hide. He could only watch Buck's own look of concern grow.

"Y-yeah," he says shakily, rubbing one hand down his face before pushing himself to his feet. "I think I just needed a moment, after everything that's happened these past few weeks," he laughs, a self-deprecating sound that has the furrow between Buck's brow growing more pronounced.

Eddie can see him warring with his own thoughts as they stand, staring silently. Buck's eyes roam over Eddie's face, taking in the shadows under his eyes that haven't lessened even with last night's restful sleep. The way his lips pull down a little at the corners when he isn't forcing himself to smile.

"Okay," Buck says, hand suddenly resting on Eddie's shoulder the same has it had last night. The weight of it feels warm, chasing away the tension there. It was a silent message; one both have done for the other since the moment they became friends. A promise to listen when the other needed it. "The pancakes aren't going to eat themselves. Also, now that I'm thinking about it, it's probably not smart of us to leave an eight-year-old unsupervised around sugar," Buck says, eyes comically widening before both are shoving each other out of the way to get the kitchen. The distraction just what Eddie needed.

The morning isn't as awkward as Eddie assumed it would be. They don't talk about the night before or the conversation they had. Chris eats enough pancakes Eddie starts worrying he'll get sick; Buck eats enough pancakes Chris asks for tips. By the time both Buck and Chris have been freed from the syrup smearing their cheeks, Eddie remembered he had promised his Abuela he would bring Chris over for some "much needed pampering", as Abuela put it.

It wasn't difficult to convince Buck to tag along. The group of three piled into Eddie's truck, Chris safely strapped in and volleying random facts back and forth with Buck. Eddie glances back in the mirror, watching Chris laugh at Buck's stories.

"Did... Did you know some penguins give rocks as gifts? the girl penguin chooses the boy penguin with the prettiest rock to date," Chris says, his eyes crinkled as he tilts back. His head bobs, grin as bright as ever. The scrapes from the tsunami already starting to fade as they healed.

"Oh, did you know male penguins are the ones who sit on the egg and take care of the babies?" Buck asks, almost twisted out of his seat as he looks back at Chris. One hand rests on the back of Eddie's seat, his fingers brushing against the back of Eddie's neck as he flexes his hand. The motion is subconscious, done while distracted. Buck's animated rambling a calming balm over nerves Eddie didn't realize needed to be soothed.

"What?" Chris falls into a fit of giggles. His hands press against his mouth and cheek as he holds back his mirth. "Like you and dad."

Eddie feels Buck's fingers freeze where he had been subconsciously rubbing. "Why do you say that, Buddy?" Eddie asks, glancing back in the rearview mirror.

"Well, you and Buck take care of me. Like the male penguins," he points out, rolling his eyes as though it's the most obvious thing. Maybe it is. Buck slides back into his seat the correct way and when Eddie glances over, he sees a dopey grin stretched across his friend's face. His heart does that strange thump and flutter again. He only has a moment to distantly wonder if he should see a doctor before they are pulling up to Abuela's driveway.

Abuela is already standing in her open doorway, smiling bright as she makes her way around her yellow house in a hurry, Tia Pepa hot on her heels. "Mamá," Josephine barely exclaims in exasperation as she comes to a stop at Eddie's side. "Eddito, I hope you know your son is taking after you in how much worry he causes," she says, hand slapping down into a playful smack against his arm. "Since we found out he was on the pier, I swear the both of us have more gray hairs."

"Ah, I would apologize if I wasn't in the same boat. Unfortunately, I have two of them," they both turn to look at the reunion taking place in the driveway. Abuela smooshes Christopher's cheeks between her aged hands, her voice lilting as she rambled in hurried, worried Spanish. After he is suitably kissed all over and made to promise not to scare her again, she moves over to Buck. Eddie can't hold in the snort of amusement at seeing the 6'2 man being dragged down by his cheeks to get the same treatment Chris just went through. His eyes wide and dazed as he tries to keep up with the mostly unknown language.

"I see what you mean," Pepa smirks, her eyes bouncing with mirth as she watches the scene unfold. Chris seems to be enjoying Buck having to go through the same treatment as well, if his loud giggling is any indication. Abuela finishes with two hard pecks pressed against Buck's forehead before she finally releases his face. He continues to look dazed as the group heads inside. Eddie can't help but tap their shoulders together as they walk side by side behind the others. Abuela and Pepa sticking close to Christopher as he gives them both a similar lesson on penguin mating habits.

"See, you're already family to them," Eddie whispers, leaning in close so only Buck could hear. He almost missed the way Buck ducked his head, ears lighting up a vibrant heated pink. It was more amusing than Eddie expected. He wanted to continue to tease, see how long he could keep those ears burning until the flush spread down his neck. He had to shake himself out of his musing, confused by the direction his thoughts were taking him.

They had decided last night, after hour of talking and planning, on who they would tell about their "engagement" first. Abuela and Pepa had won that honorary position.

They had spent hours going back and forth before they settled on a plan. They both didn't want to have to explain the real reason behind their future marriage. They knew if their friends and family knew that reason, they wouldn't approve or try to talk them out of it. It would only confuse and complicate things. So, they decided it would be best to pretend they were romantically involved before the engagement. Convincing their friends and family they had secretly been dating behind everyone's back would also be good practice for when they had to do it around strangers.

Eddie also suspected Buck was fully enjoying the thrill and drama of pretending.

"What are you smirking at?" Buck's voice cut into his musing. He had to blink to bring himself back to the present. His smirk only widening as he turned to Buck.

"I was thinking about how you were probably a theater kid," Eddie said, voice low and teasing as he bumped his shoulder against Buck's again. The man stood, opened mouth and wide eyed, before he could splutter.

"I'll have you know I was a football jock," Buck sniped, arms crossing and tilting his body away. Eddie could picture it, thrill junky teenaged Buck decked out in a high school football uniform.

"You know, that explains a lot. With all the head bumping going on," Eddie throws out over his shoulder as he heads inside to the kitchen table where Abuela had set out an impressive spread of snacks. Buck's sound of affront cut off. Chris was already sat between the two women, an unwrapped mazapan being shoved into his mouth before it could crumble.

"Abuela, we already had pancakes for breakfast. If you're going to join forces with Buck to get him sugar high, you might as well keep him for the night," Eddie groans playfully, his face twisted up in dramatic despair.

"Hush, Edmundo. It has been too long since you boys visited. Let me spoil my babies as much as I like." Eddie can only throw his hands up in placation, the amused smirk never leaving his face. Buck sits to his side, leaning over to talk to Abuela about the different recipes he wants to try while Eddie helps Chris with his coloring book. After what must be an hour, but feels like no time, has passed, Eddie clears his throat.

"Mijo, why don't you take your coloring book into the living room and watch some TV for a bit?" Eddie asks, Buck already reaching out to help stuff rogue markers into their plastic sleeves when Chris agrees. The group of adults watch the boy leave, eyes following him until he is settled, and the sound of the TV is muffled from the other room.

It might be Eddie's imagination, but it seems a tension settles over the table. He can feel Buck's leg shaking where he is pressed against his thigh. Pepa shifts, eyes darting from person to person. Eddie feels like his thoughts have become jumbled. All the planning and confidence he had flying out the window in the face of his family's questioning stares.

Eddie had always thought of himself as straight. He never had the time to question his own sexuality, between high school and then Shannon's pregnancy. It wasn't until he was in the army that he had the realization it wasn't just women he found attractive. Life became too jumbled after that to give it another thought. Shannon left and he had Chris to worry about. By the time they moved to L.A, it seemed like everything else was too important to give much effort on deciding who he was and wasn't attracted to.

He momentarily wondered how Buck was feeling about this. They hadn't had the conversation around each other's sexuality, the topic somehow missed the night before. As far as Eddie knows, Buck is straight.

Eddie looked over to catch Buck's expression. Their eyes met; Buck having done the same thing. Eddie wasn't sure what his own face was doing, but Buck's eyebrows furrowed in a steadily becoming common look of concern. He tried not to jump as he suddenly felt Buck's hand resting on his knee under the table. His fingers digging gently, in a comforting grip.

"Abuela, I- no, we, have something to tell you," Eddie said, words jumbling in his rush. His stomach gave a painful zap with nerves he couldn't hide from his face. Buck gave his leg another squeeze.

"Is everything alright?" Abuela asks, both her and Pepa leaning forward in concern.

"Everything is fine," Eddie holds up a hand to placate her. "It's good news actually," he smiles ruefully. He takes in a deep breath, meeting Buck's gaze again. Buck gives him a smile so soft it almost causes him to forget what they are doing.

"Buck and I are getting married," Eddie says, the words falling from him in a jumbled rush. Buck's hand squeezes a little tighter, displaying his own nerves at the reveal.

Silence descends on the table, the two women on the other end with matching looks of shock. It would be amusing, if Eddie didn't feel nervous enough to puke.

"Well," Pepa said, voice slow as it splits the silence. "This is unexpected. Congratulations," she said, voice still confused as her eyes dart between the two men. Suddenly, her face relaxed in a look of dawning revelation that had Eddie tensing. "Is this why you and Shannon didn't work? Eddito, was Shannon your beard?"

Bucks hand disappeared, leaving behind an unpleasant coolness, as he was almost bent over as he wheezed. His attempts to cover it up with coughing not fooling anyone present.

"No, that's not why. Let's not get into Shannon," Eddie rushed, too confused by what a beard was and wanting to move the conversation along. His cheeks burned with an embarrassed blush. Buck's shoulders continued to shake with uncontained mirth, even as his wheezing stopped.

"Edmundo," Abuela's serious voice cut through the air, causing the atmosphere to become tense once again. Eddie almost didn't want to look at her, it was physically painful to peel his eyes away from Pepa to turn to her.

"I know I am old and grew up in a different time, but I hope you know I will always be on your side," Abuela says, reaching how to rest a withered hand on his. "I am so happy for you. Though, I would have hoped you would have officially introduced us to your significant other before you popped the question."

Buck cleared his throat, squaring his shoulders as he drew attention away from Eddie. He was thankful, unable to hide the way his eyes had started to tear up. "After the tsunami..." he trailed off, unable to hold back his wince at the word, "we realized life was too unpredictable to keep taking things so slow." His curled up into a nervous smile.

"We were already on edge after the bombings and Buck's health scares. This was just the final push we needed," Eddie jumps back in, voice still tight from unshed emotions as he went along with the story they had planned last night. He felt freer than he expected, a bubbling giddy feeling taking up the space in his chest. He wondered, for a moment, if every time they told someone would feel this way.

The conversation continued well past the time they intended to leave. Both women becoming almost possessed with the realization a wedding needed to be planned. By the time both men and child were able to escape the women's clutches, Buck's arms were laden down with a stack of printed wedding planning sheets with enough information to make his head spin. Eddie would have laughed at the bamboozled look Buck was sporting if he himself wasn't also overwhelmed.

The car ride back to Eddie's was silent, Chris almost conked out against the back window in a sugar crash. Eddie let his eyes wonder over to Buck, who was silent and still in a way he hadn't seen before. Worry started to eat away at his stomach the longer the silence went on.

"You okay?" He asked, low enough not to wake Chris. "If this is too much, you'd tell me. Right?"

Buck seemed to shake himself out of his thoughts. "Of course. I'm still in this. I just... Forgot how much went into planning a wedding," he said, voice just as quiet.

Eddie continued to drive, the tension relaxing from his shoulders. He hadn't realized how worried he had become, that Buck would be scared away by the overbearing excitement of Abuela and Pepa. "I always wanted a small wedding," he broke the silence.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Buck turn to look at him. "Yeah?" He asked, voice less heavy than it was before. "What were you thinking?"

Eddie hummed as they came to a stop at a light. "Maybe we can see if Bobby and Athena would let us borrow their backyard. Have a small wedding with just friends and family. No planners," he smirked, waving his hand at the stack sitting in Buck's lap.

The rest of the tension left Buck's shoulders as he listened. A smile relaxing the serious look that had been on his face since they pulled away from Abuela's house. At some point, unnoticed by both men, their hands had reached out towards each other. Grasping like a lifeline between the two of them.

"That sounds perfect," Buck said, squeezing Eddie's hand back.

Chapter Text

Eddie watched Buck carry a sleeping and limp Chris through the open front door. His son's head resting against Buck's shoulder, Buck's arms under Chris's knees and around his back. Stable and safely clutched to his chest.

The image would remain seared in Eddie's mind for the foreseeable future. His heart beating erratically as he watched the gentle way Buck lowered Chris into his awaiting bed. His light snores the only sound as the two tiptoed back the way they came.

Eddie couldn't convince Buck to stay the night. His excuse of needing to return to his apartment was easily accepted, even if it sent a painful cramp through Eddie's stomach.

Eddie didn't sleep much that night. Strange dreams that seemed to dance outside his memory kept him awake. The few bits and pieces he did remember were disjointed. Images of someone he was clutching close, only for that person to be ripped away in a wave of frigid water. He would wake up soon after, chest heaving and covered in a cold sweat. The anxiety remained for hours before he was able to fall back asleep.

He had to check on Chris twice throughout the night as he dreamt of empty small beds and absent car seats.

By the time Chris was up and handed over to Carla to be dropped off at school, Eddie had smears of purple under each eye. The bags were heavy, pulling his eyelids down and causing each blink to be painfully gritty.

He still wasn't due back to work for a few more days, but sitting around his empty and silent home was the last think he needed. It only took a couple minutes of him sitting in the stillness of his empty house before he was up and heading out the door.

Eddie didn't like admitting to himself that he was angry.

Angry at Shannon for leaving again. Angry at the world, for dropping a ladder truck on Buck's leg. Angry at himself for not being there when his son and best friend almost died on that pier.

Angry at Bobby for not letting Buck come back.

It was the day of the tsunami when he started to realize something wasn't right with the way Buck was being kept from returning to work. He had gone over the paperwork with Buck himself before it was sent in. He saw the notes from the doctors, therapists, and the station stating Buck was ready to come back. That only left one possible person standing in the way.

He must admit, he didn't want to believe Bobby would keep Buck away.

He didn't notice where he had driven himself until he was pulling into his usual spot outside the firehouse. The slow burning anger sitting around his shoulders igniting into a scorching flame along his stomach. He was itching to fight, his hands clenching the steering wheel as he tried to calm down.

It took a couple deep breaths before he trusted himself to step out of his truck. The trek from the lot to Bobby's office passing by in a blur of colors and ignored greetings. Bobby's confused furrow of his brow didn't soothe Eddie's ire when he sat in the free chair across from the man's desk.

"Eddie, I wasn't expecting you in today," Bobby trailed off, eyes darting across Eddie's form like he was looking for hidden injuries. "Is everything alright?"

Eddie was silent for a moment, breathing in through his nose as his mind struggled to pull together everything he needed to say without his anger clouding it. "Everything is fine," Eddie shrugged, the motion stiff and aggressive. "I actually came here because I have some concerns I wanted to touch base with you on."

Bobby's worried look never lessened as he motioned for Eddie to go ahead, now sitting straight in his chair, and leaning forward to listen.

"I have some concerns that not all firefighters are being treated equally or fairly," Eddie said, words tense even as he relaxed his shoulders. The mask of indifference settled over him as he reigned everything in. He watched, feeling very little, as Bobby stiffened in front of him.

"Alright," Bobby said, the concern only growing. "I can write a report and look into it. Please, tell me more about this incident," he said, smoothing out his expression into one of professionalism. Eddie could tell the man still was wracked with concern. The knowledge did little to help him feel better about the situation.

"It's about Buck and you, sir," Eddie threw out, the words just as cold as his temper. The shock that froze Bobby's hand where it was reaching for paperwork was only a temporary reprieve from the frustration of this situation.

"Me and Buck..." Bobby trailed off. "I'm sorry, I don't know what you mean."

"Buck was given the standard set of steps he needed to complete before he was allowed back on schedule. All requirements were met, and the correct paperwork signed by both his doctors and the board. He had everything legally in order, but he was still not allowed to return to work," Eddie listed, watching the way Bobby's shoulders drew up around his neck.

"It was decided he wasn't ready to return to the field," Bobby said vaguely.

"Who decided?"

Eddie knew his words were blunt, sharp like razors and lions' teeth. He watched as Bobby jerked back, eyebrows lifting as he met Eddie's cold gaze. He wasn't sure what Bobby saw there, but the way he dew back didn't bode well.

They sat in tense silence that rang deafly through the small office space. Their eyes never leaving each other as they stewed in the unpleasant topic of conversation. Eddie wondered what Bobby was thinking when Bobby's shoulders finally dropped.

He seemed to fall into himself. The once straight back curled forward as he let out a long weary sigh. "I did," he admits, voice quiet. The words sound strained, like he finds them painful to say.

"I know it might not have been the best decision, but I can't have Buck back at the station. Not right now," he waved Eddie off. "It was me, my past, that put him in the position he was in. He almost died because of me. I was able to put it off to the back of my mind and sign off his paperwork before the embolism, but now I can't."

"It's not your place to decide that," Eddie said. He knew he was cruel in the face of Bobby's self-deprecation, but he needed to get his point across. "Buck got hurt on the job like many have and many will. He got hurt, but he got better. The doctors say he can come back to his job without any limitations from his leg. I know you are horrified by what happened, we all are, but if you continue to discriminate against Buck out of fear of losing him, he'll have no choice but to go to his union rep and file a complaint. No one will side with you when they find out why you're not letting him come back," Eddie warned, watching Bobby's face slowly pale.

"You sound like you've been talking to Athena," Bobby choked out, voice painfully strained.

"Maybe you should trust her judgement." Eddie didn't wait around after that, pushing himself to his feet and leaving the office with Bobby sitting frozen behind. Though his movements were calm, he still felt angry. he could only hope Bobby took his advice.

Hen and Chim were leaning against the railing of the loft, bodies turned towards Bobby's office door even as their heads were leaning in together to whisper. When they saw Eddie heading towards them, they sprang to their feet. The wobbly smiles they threw his way weren't as convincing as he knew they hoped.

"Eddie, back so soon?" Chim laughed, the ends of his eyes crinkled with concern. He threw one arm around Eddie's shoulders, bumping against him as he drew them into their tight circle. "I hope you aren't back to work. You should take advantage of your vacation days."

"I'm only here for a quick meeting. I had some things I needed to talk to Bobby about," he jabbed his thumb over his shoulder, not caring when Hen and Chim sent concern looks each other's way.

"Anything wrong?" Hen asked. Eddie could tell she had been itching to know what the unexpected meeting was about.

"I figured out Bobby was the one not letting Buck come back to work. The board and doctors all cleared him to come back weeks ago," Eddie shrugged, voice falling back into the same cold void from before. His face must have before just as blank, if the startled look on Chim's face as he pulled his arm away was any indication.

"Wait, hold up. Bobby decided that?" Chim asked, voice thick with confusion. Eddie didn't blame him; it didn't fit the Bobby they had grown to trust.

"Don't worry about it. I'm trying to get it figured out before it blows up in everyone's face." He could only wave away their concern, pulling away from their small gathering.

He left them there, huddled outside Bobby's office and whispering heatedly to each other. He'd let that dumpster fire burn until he was officially back on shift. It might be petty, but he had a bit of a pep in his step as he got back to his truck.

His mood only lifted more when he saw a text from Buck.

*Buck: I talked to the landlord. My lease is up in a couple months so that gives us time to get everything moved around and into yours. Can I stop by later?*

Eddie didn't realize he was smiling until his cheeks started to ache.

Chapter Text

Eddie picks up lunch from the diner both he and Buck like at Buck's request on his way home. The tense ball of anger soothed back down until he could push it to the back of his mind.

It wasn't until he was diving home with no distractions to keep his mind busy that he realized Buck might not appreciate him butting into whatever was going on between him and Bobby. The conversation replayed like a broken record through his mind as he wondered if he had overstepped. He couldn't say he regretted what he said to the captain, but the last thing he wanted was for Buck to be upset.

His slowly darkening thoughts halted as he pulled up to the house, Buck's jeep waiting in its usual spot out front. He only took an extra minute to let his anxiety run wild before he shoved it down into that locked up place in his chest, where he kept all the other emotions he didn't want to face.

Buck was sitting on the couch, the news playing quietly in the background, when Eddie came in.

Buck's face split into his signature, blinding grin when he saw the bag of takeout. In one smooth motion, he jumped to his feet and relieved Eddie of the bag. "Man, I'm so glad you picked this up. I've been graving their fries since the tsunami," Buck laughed as he moved to unpack the food. The kitchen table was soon set up for the two to eat.

Eddie joined him, lips tilted in a small smile as he watched the man almost wiggle in place like an excited golden retriever. "I'm glad you texted me when you did, I was in the perfect place to pick some up."

"What were you doing at the station anyway? I thought you didn't have to go back for a couple more days?" Buck asked, distracted as he shoved a couple fries in his mouth.

Eddie let his eyes drop away, that anxiety from a moment ago threatening to spill over before he was pushing it down again. "Well, I actually had a conversation that had good intentions but now I don't know if you'll appreciate it," he said, keeping his eyes on his bun that was slowly becoming sodden with grease.

He could see out of the corner of his eye as Buck froze, fries hanging from his mouth before he slowly started to chew again. "Ok-ay," he dragged out, slow and pointed, to urge Eddie to continue.

"I realized something was up with you not being allowed back to work, so I kind of confronted Bobby about it," Eddie threw out. "You not being allowed back didn't have anything to do with how good of a firefighter you are or whether you were ready. It was Bobby, letting his fear of you getting hurt get in the way of his ability to make professional decisions," Eddie said, words grounding out as the frustration from earlier reared its ugly head. He didn't realize he was squeezing his burger beyond recognition until Buck was laying a hand over his.

When he looked up, the man was staring at him with a look of concern and confusion. His eyebrows furrowed tightly over wide eyes. "What do you mean?" Buck asked, voice painfully quiet.

Eddie could only sigh, letting his food drop before turning his hand to clutch at Buck's. Their greasy palms rubbed together as he turned his full attention to the man sitting across from him. "Buck, you should have been back at work the day after you filed your paperwork. Bobby is the one who didn't let you come back."

Buck slowly looked away, face shifting from confusion to hurt. Eddie's chest pangs with a jolt of pain at the expression. His hand tightens gently around Buck's, holding on like he's afraid Buck will pull away. He lets the man process, watching the way his eyes dance across the table as his mind races.

In this moment, he wishes he had been more aggressive with Bobby. The image of him railing into the man soothing something in his chest as he watches the betrayal flit across Buck's face.

"Why would he?" Buck trails off. His voice was painfully tight. "I don't get it. I thought it was just the LAFD being difficult. Why would Bobby do that?"

"Because he is being an idiot," Eddie says bluntly. Maybe too bluntly if the shocked little huff Buck makes is any indication. "It's not really about you. Bobby got spooked when you got hurt. Got all up in his own head about it and convinced himself you'd be safer if he kept you away. It doesn't make what he did right, trust me, but I don't want you thinking he did it out of not liking you or thinking you aren't good enough."

Eddie could see Buck's eyes start to glisten with unshed tears. His free hand clenches, hidden under the table as the same anger bubbles up. He hates that Bobby let himself hurt Buck. The trust he had in the man trembling and cracking down the middle.

"Right, okay," Buck mumbled, free hand pressing against his eyes as he took in a steadying breath. "You said you confronted him?" he asked.

Eddie winced. "Yeah, but it wasn't anything too bad. I might have told him off for discrimination and reminded him that we could go to your union rep if he doesn't get his head out of his ass," Eddie rambles, looking away again as he feels his cheeks heat up. He can feel the furrow of his own brow and knows he's near pouting, but he can't relax his face.

Silence rings between the two of them long enough Eddie starts to worry he's made Buck mad with his meddling. He's about to pull his hand away when Buck snorts.

Giggles slowly build until Buck is bent in half, over the table until his head is pressed against the wood. His shoulders shook and jolted with each shuddering laugh. If his laugh wasn't so distinctive, Eddie would have worried he was crying.

It was infectious. Before long both men were giggling like looks, faces red from lack of air. The more Eddie explained Bobby's reaction, the more laughter filled the air. By the time they were able to settle down, both were leaning against the table, wiping errant tears from their cheeks.

"I was worried I had overstepped," Eddie admitted once they were both calm.

Buck was already shaking his head before he could finish. "No, you didn't overstep at all. I actually... really like that you stuck up for me. That you had my back," he says, ears flushing bright pink. Eddie had forgotten they were holding hands until he felt Buck give his a squeeze.

The two sat in companionable silence for a moment, the mirth from moments ago relaxing the tension both men were carrying. Suddenly, Buck jerked like he had been startled.

"Oh, I almost forgot," he said, pulling his hand free. Eddie's palm suddenly felt unbearably cold as he pulled it back to himself, now free from its companion.

Buck reached into his pocket, an excited grin splitting his face as he pulled out a little black box. Eddie's heart thumped at the sight.

"Is that what I think it is?" Eddie asked, the shocked words falling out before he could snatch them back. Buck was nodding, holding up his little prize with a flourish.

"I got these this morning. The idea came to me last night actually," he said ruefully as he opened the box. Sitting inside were two silver wedding bands. "They aren't anything fancy, but I thought it would be nice to have something to make this feel a little more real," Buck shifted in his seat, looking painfully nervous.

Eddie was speechless, looking down at these two simple rings. They made his stomach cramp, but the feeling wasn't bad. He wasn't sure what he was feeling, but the swell of emotions clogging his throat wasn't negative.

"Buck," Eddie cleared his throat so he didn't sound choked, "thank you. They are perfect," he said, trying to soothe the anxious man across from him. He reached out for the rings, wrapping both hands around the box like he was holding something delicate and precious. His fingers brush over the backs of Buck's own hands.

He didn't notice the shiver that ran up Buck, or the blush that was spreading from his ears down across his cheeks. His eyes were too caught up in the wedding rings. They looked nice, even if plain. The silver was thick and expensive, unlike the one he had with Shannon. That one, his parents had picked out. A cold piece of metal he only wore because it was expected. These felt warm.

"Oh, I also got these," Buck reached into his pocket again before placing two chains on the table. "To wear our rings when we are at work. So we don't lose them and keep them safe," he said, almost wiggling in place for approval.

Eddie couldn't hold back the laugh at the sight. "Always thinking ahead, huh. It's perfect Buck," Eddie said, taking the rings out of the box.

"May I?" he asked, holding his hand out invitingly for Buck's.

Buck paused only for a moment before his hand was returned to Eddie's. Gently, as if he was holding something fragile, Eddie pulled Buck's hand closer before sliding the ring over his finger. His heart gave another fluttering thump once the ring was in place, shining in contrast to Buck's pale skin.

"May I?" Buck mirrored Eddie's question, his voice soft like he was afraid it would break whatever tension was building between them. Eddie could only nod, swapping hands and watching as Buck took the second ring. It slides over his finger, fitting perfectly. He had a moment to wonder how Buck knew his ring size before his breath caught in his chest.

It was only a quick glimpse, but the look Buck gave him was so warm it set something inside him on fire.

Chapter Text

Eddie leaned forward on the bathroom sink, looking into his reflection’s eyes and questioning his idiocy.

The tension between him and Buck at the kitchen table snapped when his alarm reminded him to pick up Christ from school. He had barely been able to look in Buck’s direction before the two stuttered through plans for when Chris was home.

That led to this situation.

Buck had agreed to spend the night when Eddie asked, his usual carefree grin making a small appearance before it was wiped away. Worry twisted his stomach and chest before Buck asked a question that floored him.

Where was he sleeping tonight?

It was a good question. The only problem being Eddie was terrified of his answer. After a moment of back and forth, Eddie threw out the possibility of them sharing his bed. His reasoning was sound, it being a great way to get used to it before they tied the knot and were faced with it later.

That didn’t stop him from hiding out in his bathroom with the excuse of getting ready for bed.

It wasn’t that he and Buck hadn’t shared a bed before. Even a comedic moment where they ended up in the same bunk, squished together after a shift had gone on well past clock-out time. But this felt different. The weird mix of feelings confusing Eddie seemed to surge forward until he felt insecure at the thought of being so close to Buck. His mind flashed to images of Buck pressed against his back. Buck’s arm looped over his side; his hand pressed against Eddie’s chest.

He splashed a handful of water on his face, slapping his cheeks with an audible smack as he tried to banish the image from his mind.

A tentative knock startled him out of his thoughts.

“You okay in there?” Buck called out from the other side of the door, muffled under the running water.

“Yeah, one sec,” Eddie winced as his voice cracked. Taking a deep breath, he gave his reflection one last glare. “Come on Eddie, man up,” he murmured before twisting the water off.

Buck stood near the bed in loose pants and his usual tight shirt. On a good day, Eddie struggled to keep his gaze from lingering too long on the way Buck’s shirts squeezed his arms, the fabric stretched tight around each bicep. Now it felt almost painful to rip his eyes away.

When he finally drew his eyes to Buck’s face, he saw he was worrying his bottom lip between his teeth. Buck rocked slowly back and forth on the heels of his socked feet. His jaw and neck muscles bunched where his head was turned away. Eddie couldn’t take his eyes off that spot, watching the muscle tighten under the skin. He wanted to rub his thumb there, smooth out the ridges and follow it under the collar of Buck’s tight shirt. Feel the tension melt under his hands.

“Eddie?” Buck’s voice jerked him out of his wandering mind, bringing him back to the current predicament he found himself in.

“Sorry, just thinking,” he shook his head, moving over to his side of the bed to plug his phone in and reaching for Buck’s to do the same. The familiar motions helped settle his nerves that had built since their sleeping arrangements were decided.

He heard Buck slide under the blankets on the other side of the bed. His heart thudded almost painfully in his chest as he clicked off the light. He paused with his hands gripping the edge of his shirt. It was a hot day; the room was still warm even though the sun had set. Usually, he wouldn’t hesitate to take his shirt off to sleep, but today felt different.   

The blush spreading across his cheeks didn’t help with the heat.

“Eddie?” Buck asked again, sitting back on his elbows to watch Eddie through the dark. It jarred Eddie from his thoughts. It wasn’t lost on him that he was overthinking this. Buck and he changed in front of each other all the time at work. Sleeping next to each other without a shirt shouldn’t be a big deal.

He pulled his shirt off before he could question himself again. His Saint Christopher's medallion catches on the fabric before falling back to his chest.

He slid under the covers, a sigh leaving him as he closed his eyes and willed himself to relax. He could feel Buck’s heat beside him, their arms brushing as they both shifted.

“Well, this is a little awkward,” Buck’s voice breaks the silence. They had been stiffly lying on their backs, staring at the dark ceiling. Eddie couldn’t help breaking into a grin, snorting before he and Buck turned to face each other simultaneously.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me. This feels different from normal,” Eddie admitted, his arm bent as he rubbed at his forehead. Both men’s faces were close together as they spoke.

“Hey, I get it. I think knowing we’re getting married, even if it’s platonic, is making this feel a little more significant than it needs to be,” Buck says, voice stilted like he isn’t sure of his meaning. “Or maybe I’m just being stupid and that doesn’t make sense.”

“No, it makes sense,” Eddie sighs as he peeks at Buck, anxiety radiating from him in almost physical waves. “If I’m being honest, I was nervous sharing a bed with you tonight.”

Buck scoffs, eyebrows furrowed. “Why, what would you have to be nervous about?”

“That’s the thing. I don’t know. Maybe it’s like you said, I’m putting pressure places it shouldn’t be,” he sighed again, letting himself flop back onto his back.

The room was silent, the tension from moments before easing into something almost level with their previous comfort.

“Let’s not overthink it. We’ve shared a bed before. There is no difference between then and now.”

Eddie wasn’t sure if Buck noticed he had placed his hand over Eddie’s chest as he spoke. His fingers rubbed small subconscious circles that had goosebumps raising the hair along his arms. He felt Buck’s fingers bump against his Saint Christopher’s medallion only to pause, rubbing the face of the coin-shaped pendant like he was lost in thought. The warmth of Buck’s hand over his heart had his body melting into the bed below.

“You’re right,” Eddie mumbled. It felt like all the tension from the day seeped from his muscles under Buck’s touch. His eyes felt heavy as he let himself relax back into his pillow.

Eddie doesn’t remember falling asleep. His phone is ringing, and Buck’s arm is thrown over his hip. The ringtone is loud enough it startles both men awake, Buck’s snores are cut off with a grunt.

Eddie almost knocks the lamp onto the floor in his desperate attempt to cut off the shrill sound.

“-lo?” He mumbles, thumb digging into the space between his brow to ease the headache building there.

“… Eddie?” Maddie’s voice shocks the last bit of sleep out of Eddie’s system. He pulls the phone away from his ear, squinting at its brightness to see he’s holding Buck’s phone. He reaches to his side, slapping Buck’s chest, who had somehow fallen asleep.

“Sorry Maddie, one second,” he mumbles, Buck waking with another grunt as Eddie hands over the phone.  

Buck takes it, blinking the sleep from his eyes as he pushes himself to a sitting position. “Hello?” He asks, voice still thick and deep with sleep.

Eddie starts to relax against the headboard when he feels Buck tense beside him. It jolts him back up, leaning forward to see the worried line splitting Buck’s brows. His blue eyes are a little too wide.

“Okay, okay, hold on,” Buck says into the phone before he pulls it away to press against his chest. “Maddie’s apartment has a gas leak. She went to my place when it was evacuated, but I wasn’t there,” Buck says, running his free hand through his hair. He’s already moving to stand when Eddie reaches out to stop him with a hand on his arm.

“Tell her to come here,” Eddie says when Buck stills.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to put you out more than I already am.”

“Who said you were putting me out?” Eddie asks, not hiding his offended tone. “You’re family Buck, and that makes Maddie family too. Tell her to come here.”

Eddie keeps the stern glare firmly in place until Buck brings his phone back to his ear.

It takes Buck a bit of convincing before Maddie agrees. The two men find themselves sitting in silence once the call ends.

“Well, this isn’t exactly how I envisioned us telling her about our fake relationship,” Buck tried to lighten the mood. His tone fell flat, not quite conveying the amusement he was going for.

Eddie didn’t like the way he was staring off into space. His lips pulled down in a frown and the lines of his forehead were prominent.

“Hey,” Eddie slid his arm around Buck’s shoulders. He gave the muscle near Buck’s neck a gentle squeeze. “This might not be what you had in mind, but I can promise you, it’s going to be okay.”

Buck seems to melt under Eddie’s hand. His head leans back as he lets the air out from his chest. The way Buck leans his weight into Eddie’s arm has something fluttering in his chest. He wants to pull Buck against his side and tuck his head under his chin. He wants to melt together so close their body heat blends.

He almost thinks he’s hallucinating when he feels Buck’s head bump against his shoulder. He fits perfectly against his neck, his nose brushing Eddie’s bare skin. He’s sure his heart is beating so loud Buck can hear it where his ear presses.

“We should get the couch ready,” Buck breaks the comfortable silence that had settled between the two. His voice was muffled when his lips brushed against Eddie’s shoulder. It took more willpower than he thought he had to hold back his shiver.  

“You’re right,” Eddie groaned, his eyes somehow becoming closed at some point between the Buck leaning into him and that moment. “I’m too comfortable to get up. Carry me.”

Eddie could feel Buck snort, his breath tickling his skin. “Come on big guy,” Buck smacked Eddie’s chest as he pulled away.

Eddie couldn’t hold back the whine as their contact was broken. The room suddenly felt colder than it had moments before without Buck warming his side.

The two worked together to make up the couch for Maddie while staying quiet so they didn’t wake Christopher. Though the kid was known to sleep through alarms and sirens, Eddie didn’t want to risk it.

“Do you think she’ll want an explanation tonight?” Buck broke the comfortable silence that had settled between them.

“I don’t know man. I think she might just want to sleep.”

Buck hummed but Eddie wasn’t sure if he agreed. They were working together to put the pillows in cases when Buck spoke again. “Do you think she’ll be okay with it?”

Eddie sighed, tossing the pillow down on the couch. “Buck, I can’t imagine a reason Maddie wouldn’t be okay with it.” He watched Buck look everywhere at him, his gaze pointedly angled away. “Is this you worried she won't be okay with you not being straight or are you not okay hiding our arrangement from her?”

Buck startled; eyes wide before he sunk to the couch with a groan. “I don’t know. I feel like I should feel bad about lying to her, but I don’t. And that makes me feel bad,” he said into his hands. His fingers slide through his hair, fluffing up his already messy curls.

Eddie isn’t sure what came over him. Between one blink and the next, he had stepped into Buck’s space. He swatted Buck’s hands away before sliding his fingers through the blond curls. It tilted Buck’s head back until he was staring up at Eddie.

“If you want to tell her the truth, I’ll always be on board. Whatever you decide to do, I’ll be in your corner.”

“Because you have my back,” Buck grinned.

“Because we have each other’s backs,” Eddie let his fingers tug at Buck’s hair for a moment more, the bedhead looking less wild once he pulled away.

He decided not to mention Buck’s eyes looked a little damp in the low light of the living room.

Buck’s phone going off interrupted wherever the conversation was leading. “Maddie’s here,” Buck said, heading to the door to let her in.

“It’s nice she thought ahead and texted so she didn’t wake Chris up,” Eddie said as he followed. “Someone I know wouldn’t have thought of that until after he had rung the bell.”

Eddie grinned, pushing past a squawking Buck to get the door.

Maddie looked like she had seen better days. She was in her pajamas and house shoes. Her hair was tangled in knots and loose strands that floated around her face. Eddie only had a moment to realize the bedhead was a sibling thing before Buck reached around him to pull her inside.

“Maddie,” Buck breathed. The relief was audible in his tone and the way his shoulders slumped. He reached out to draw her smaller frame into a hug when she smacked her hand down against his chest.

“You couldn’t have warned me you wouldn’t be home,” she grumbled, bags visible under her eyes.

Buck winced, shying away from her hovering hand like a scalded dog. “Hey, in my defense, I didn’t know your apartment would explode.”

“It didn’t explode, Buck. It was a gas leak,” Eddie sighed as he followed the two into the living room.

“Well, I shouldn’t have to look all over town to find my brother when there is an emergency,” Maddie slumps onto the couch with a groan. “Thanks for letting me stay the night, Eddie,” she says, tone noticeably gentler when addressing him.

“You’re always welcome,” Eddie smirks as he passes behind a huffing Buck. The way his chest heaves reminds him of those frogs back in Texas. It’s a cute mental image that he quickly wipes away with the excuse he must be tired to think so.

“Oh, am I stealing your bed?” Maddie asks, suddenly realizing the couch she was slumped against would be the only extra sleeping space.

“Nope, we just made it up and everything for you,” Buck said, not seeming to realize the implication of his words.

It didn’t escape Maddie’s notice though. “Oh? Is that so?” She hummed, suddenly more awake than she was moments ago. Her eyes darted between her oblivious brother and Eddie’s slowly reddening face.

“We should all get some sleep. Chris has school tomorrow and I bet you are exhausted,” Eddie jumped in, attempting to end the conversation before Buck became self-conscious again. The worry that had been eating at his friend had disappeared once his sister arrived. Eddie didn’t want it to make a reappearance.

“You’re right,” Maddie said slowly after a lengthy pause. Her eyes held Eddie’s as he gave a subtle head shake, so Buck didn’t notice. “We can catch up tomorrow,” she huffed before flopping back into the couch.

Eddie slid his hand across Buck’s hip until it rested at the small of his waist to lead him out of the room. Neither man noticed Maddie eyeing the placement as their sides bumped together. Goodnights were thrown over shoulders before they found themselves back where their night had started. Shoulder to shoulder and staring at a dark ceiling.

“That didn’t go bad at all,” Buck broke the silence.

“No, I knew it wouldn’t.”

“You were right,” Buck huffed.

“I’m always right. You should listen to me more.”

“Please, I wouldn’t want to give you an even bigger head than you already have.”

Eddie dramatically gasped, his hand pressed against his chest. “My head is perfectly proportionate, thank you,” Eddie huffed with faux offense.

Their shoulders brushed as they seemed to gravitate closer the longer they talked. Eddie felt his eyes grow heavier as Buck’s voice started to slur and mumble. Once Buck started snoring, Eddie had no strength to fight off sleep.

“Dad,” a voice mumbled by Eddie’s ear. Something warm and heavy was pressing against his chest and side. Soft fluff ticked his cheek and lips.

“Dad, there is some lady on the couch,” the voice said again, louder this time.

Eddie’s eyes were fuzzy from too little sleep when he blinked. Chris stood at the side of his bed; eyes wide behind his red frames as he stared. Eddie rubbed at his face with the hand that wasn’t trapped under Buck’s weight as he tried to brush away the sleep.

“That isn’t some lady. It’s Maddie, Buck’s sister. You’ve met her before,” Eddie whispered.

“Oh,” Chris nodded, eyebrows furrowed as he thought about it. “I remember. She was at the Christmas party. And she came over that one time.”

“Yeah, bud,” Eddie said, still drowsy. “What are you doing up so early anyway?”

“It’s 8:00, Dad.”

Eddie shot up, knocking Buck off him where he had been pressed against his chest. Their legs were tangled under the blankets where Buck had attached himself like an octopus. Buck flopped onto his back with a very unhappy grunt as he was rudely forced awake.

“Whaz?” He groans, blinking up at the ceiling with a confused frown.

“We’re late,” Eddie yelped as he flung the blankets off. He almost rolled off the bed in his attempt to untangle from Buck. “It’s 8:00, Buck!”

Buck blinked a couple more times before he was jolting from the bed too. Both men looked wide-eyed and harried as they hurried to dress. Chris took the opportunity to crawl into their vacated bed with a tired sigh. His little face pressed into the warm sheets.

“Don’t fall asleep,” Eddie told Chris as he pulled a shirt over his head. Buck struggled in the bathroom, now dressed.

As the two men passed each other, Buck handed over Eddie’s toothbrush.

“I’m not,” Chris mumbled into the bed. He looked a little too comfortable for not asleep, in Eddie’s opinion.

Eddie snags their rings off the bedside table as Buck scooped Chris up into his arms, much to Chris’s many grumbled complaints, before the two rush to the kitchen.

“What is happening?” Maddie asked, her head popping up over the back of the couch as she watched the two men race around. Chris, now free from Buck’s clutches, carefully made his way to the couch with cereal in hand.

“We’re late for school,” he explained shortly as he lowered himself to the floor to eat at the coffee table. He didn’t seem bothered by the two men running around in a panic. Just slowly ate his cereal as he watched the scene unfold.

Maddie gets up after a moment of watching the chaos. Eddie feels like he blinks and she is leaning against the counter, coffee in hand. She looked beyond amused as she watched the two bumbling around like headless chickens.

By the time she finishes her coffee, Chris’s lunch has been packed and his finished homework tossed inside his backpack. Eddie wishes he had enough time to snap a picture of Buck with the small backpack thrown over one shoulder. The look is adorable comical with his size.

They throw a goodbye over their shoulders as they get Chris out the door and to the truck. Unfortunately, the downside of leaving the house late is the morning work traffic. They are only a block away from Eddie’s neighborhood when they find themselves at a standstill.

Eddie lets his head fall back against the headrest with a thump. A headache pulsed behind his eyes from going to bed so late. When he glances at Buck, he sees he’s not fairing much better.

“You and Buck were in bed together,” Chris breaks the silence. Buck lets out a choked noise that would concern Eddie if he didn’t feel sucker-punched by the observation himself. His eyes dart over to meet Buck’s equally panicked ones. The rush of that morning had distracted them from the realization that Chris still hadn’t been told about the change in their relationship.

A long, silent conversation passes between Eddie and Buck that involves too many eyebrows and pointed looks. Buck seemed to be saying it was in Eddie’s court when it came to telling Chris. Eddie was trying to relay that he would rather eat nails than have an awkward conversation with his eight-year-old while stuck in traffic.

An aggressively pointed look from Buck had Eddie sighing. “You’re right, we were,” Eddie said, voice stilted.

A tense and awkward silence filled the car for a few moments.

“Does that mean you guys are boyfriends?” Chris asked out of the blue, his attention half on the conversation and half on whatever was happening out his window.

Buck choked again, his hand pounds against his chest as he tries to catch his breath.

“Well, kind of. We were actually meaning to talk to you about this soon,” Eddie hedged. “Would you be upset if we were boyfriends?”

Chris seems to think about it for a moment. “No, I wouldn’t mind. As long as Buck doesn’t stop coming over.”

Eddie smirked over at Buck, who looked both touched and shocked by the ultimatum. “Well, funny you should mention that. Buck technically isn’t my boyfriend. He’s actually my fiancé,” Eddie said, tone teasing as he watched Buck’s cheeks redden.

“Fiancé?” Chris asked.

“Yeah, we were planning to get married… Would you be okay with him being my husband instead of my boyfriend?” Eddie asked.

Chris seemed to think about it again. This time longer than before. When he finally did speak, his voice was less assured than before. “Like Denny’s moms?”

“Exactly like that, Mijo,” Eddie agreed.

“Only if you’re okay with it,” Buck suddenly cut in as he twisted himself around to look back at Chris. “Your opinion is just as important as our own in this.”

Chris looked nervous, his silence stretching on. Eddie felt like he could sweat as he waited on his son's verdict. Buck looked like he was holding his breath.

“Will you go away like Mommy did? If you marry Dad?”

Eddie wasn’t sure what his face was doing, but he was sure he looked just as heartbroken as Buck at that moment. He’s pulling into a parking lot before he can think. His stomach twists with nausea. His heart feels heavy.

“Chris,” Buck’s voice is strained. “I don’t plan to go anywhere. I know your mom was gone for a while, and then was only able to come back for a little bit before she had to go away again. But I promise you, I will do my best to stay with you for the rest of my life.”

“We both promise that,” Eddie cuts in. There is pressure behind his eyes and a burning in his throat at Buck’s words. They are so heart-wrenchingly earnest. “We will fight every day to come home to you, Mijo.”

Chris rubbed at the tears slowly sliding down his cheeks. His eyes are red rimmed in a shade like his glasses. “Okay, then I am okay with you being Dad’s husband,” Chris tells Buck, his voice shaking at the end.

Eddie gives Chris, and himself, a moment to calm down before pulling back out into traffic. The car remains comfortably quiet through a few more lights before the peace is broken.

“Does this mean we can have Buck’s pancakes every day?”

Chapter Text

Chris wasn’t impressed when Eddie explained they would not be having pancakes every day, whether they were Buck’s pancakes or not.

And if it took a little more effort for Eddie to hand Chris over to his aid, who was very sweet and understanding about their lateness, he tried his best to keep it close to his chest. That didn’t stop Buck from looking like a kicked dog as they pulled away from the school parking lot.

“Buck up,” Eddie teased. He saw Buck throw an exasperated look in his direction from the corner of his eye. “Chris approved. You should be happy.”

“I am happy. But I can’t stop thinking the other shoe will drop. Like, there is this dread that I can’t find a reason for,” Buck explained, his hand pressing against his chest to indicate where the dread was.

Eddie hummed as he turned into the neighborhood. “Maybe that dread is your sister. Who is still on our couch.”

Eddie didn’t notice that he had moved on from saying his couch to ours.

“Oh god, I forgot about Maddie,” Buck looked like he wanted the seat to open up and swallow him. His head thumped audibly against the passenger window. “What am I going to say to her?”

“As I said before, it’s up to you. I don’t want you to lie to Maddie because of me.”

“It’s not because of you. I came up with this plan, so I should be okay with stretching some facts to fit the narrative,” Buck shook his head where it was still pressed against the glass.

“It’s not really stretching facts. More stretching events to look like something it’s not,” Eddie laughed as Buck loosely swatted at him.

They pulled into the driveway, passing Maddie’s car which looked to have been moved to block Buck’s jeep while they were gone. “I think that’s her warning that you aren’t getting out of this conversation,” Eddie couldn’t hide the grin in his voice.

He laughed outright as he heard Buck groan as they exited the truck.

Maddie was sitting on the couch where they left her less than an hour ago. Her hair was now brushed back into something manageable, and an empty cereal bowl rested on one leg.

She looked up as Eddie audibly dropped his keys into the hallway bowl. Her eyes zeroed in on Buck, who was doing everything possible to avoid her piercing gaze.

“Welcome back,” her words were clipped, but a grin slowly stretched across her face. “I hope you don’t mind that I stole some of your cereal.” Inside the bowl were the soggy remains of Captain Crunch, the heinously sweet cereal Buck keeps in the highest cabinet, so Chris doesn’t see it.

Buck’s favorite cereal.

“You are welcome to anything in the kitchen,” Eddie waved off as Buck seemed to shrink more behind him. Eddie didn’t try and pretend he was doing anything other than abandoning Buck to his sister's knowing looks when he moved to the armchair.

Buck shot Eddie a look of betrayal before he joined them in the living room. “So, have you heard anything from your apartment about when you can go home?”

“Trying to kick me out already? I’m crushed,” Maddie teased, her eyes darting between Buck and Eddie like she was watching a tennis match. “I haven’t heard anything yet.”

An awkward silence descended on the room. Buck fidgeted in his seat. He seemed to be preparing for battle.

“I have something to tell you,” he says, words fast and mumbled. Eddie wanted to reach out and rest his hand against Buck’s back. Ground him with whatever comfort he could give. But Buck was on the side of the couch farthest from the armchair.

“That you’re dating Eddie? I kind of got that last night.”

Eddie watched a blush spread across Buck’s face at an alarming speed. From the heat he could feel across his cheeks, he knew his face was doing the same thing.

Buck seemed to become more restless. His right hand clasped his left, hiding the ring there.

“Okay, so don’t be mad,” he said, almost sheepish, as he held up his left hand. Eddie’s heart thumped painfully at the sight of the ring there. His own hand moved to run a finger over the gold band around his. Though the metal was cold, it filled his chest with warmth.

Maddie sat, staring incomprehensibly at the ring for a couple of beats before a painfully dramatic gasp was ripped from her throat.

“Evan Buckley!” She yelped before snatching his hand out of the air to bring the ring closer to her face. “What? How? When?” She stumbled over her words as she twisted his hand back and forth.

“Well, technically, the proposal happened a few days ago, but it was only last night that we did the whole ‘ring’ thing,” he shrugged his shoulders high around his ears like he wanted to hide behind them.

“Isn’t that kind of fast?” She asked, her eyebrows pulled tight with concern.

Buck was silent for a moment, his shoulders only seeming to become tighter. “This is the part you might be mad about,” Buck hedged. “We’ve been together longer than you might think.”

Maddie finally looked away from the band to stare into Buck’s face. “Longer?” Her voice was low, but the tone warned him to tread lightly.

Eddie could see Buck swallow thickly, his Adam’s apple bobbing. He had to shake away the urge to rest his hand against Buck’s throat and feel the muscles move below the skin. It wasn’t the time or the place for such strange thoughts.

Buck opened his mouth, looking frozen before his eyes darted to meet Eddie’s.

Eddie decided to butt in to give Buck a break. “A while,” his voice seemed to cut through whatever tension Maddie’s gaze was causing Buck as she jerked her head to look at him.

It was a familiar look. He felt like he was seeing his sisters when he blinked.

“A while,” she said slowly, hackles rising. “How long is a while? What about Ali?” Her tone was sharp, gaze promising retribution if she didn’t like the answer.

Buck winced again. “We started seeing each other after the grenade incident, but then we broke things off for a while,” Buck explains, going with the back story they had decided. It feels like a long time has passed between when they hashed out this plan on this same couch and now. But it had only been a few days.

“Shannon came back, and I wasn’t dealing with it well. Stupidly, I broke things off with Buck to figure myself out but only made things harder on myself by trying to work things out with her,” Eddie cut in.

“That’s when I started seeing Ali,” Buck threw in.

“Then Shannon died. It took a while to realize I still was in love with Buck after that.”

“He was hiding it because I was with Ali. He thought I had moved on, but really, I hadn’t. We had started talking about ‘us’ again a couple of weeks before the bombing. I would have left her after my shift, but she broke things off before that could happen,” Buck worried his lower lip.

“We got back together once Buck was out of the hospital. Almost losing him helped me realize how dumb I was being. Then the blood clot happened, then the tsunami. I realized life is too unpredictable to hesitate to make him my husband,” Eddie felt a flutter in his stomach as Buck cut a glance his way. His cheeks were burning a bright red again. Even though the story was fake, it made something twist achingly inside Eddie’s chest.

A sniffle drew their gazes away from each other. Neither had been looking at Maddie as they told this story, their eyes drawn to each other instead.

Her eyes were misty with unshed tears as she grasped her shirt over her heart. “That is the most romantic story I’ve ever heard,” she sniffled once more before the tears overflowed and ran down her cheeks.

Buck’s hands were hovering anxiously towards her like he wanted to reach out and comfort her but didn’t know how. Eddie himself felt wrong-footed. He was never great with emotions, his or other people’s.

“You could have died while being idiots,” Maddie sobbed, slapping Buck’s arm hard. He drew away with a wince. Eddie couldn’t hold back the snort of amusement, only to straighten when Maddie stuck her tearful glare on him.

He cleared his throat, one hand resting nervously at the back of his neck.

“I’m glad you both finally realized you loved each other. But next time, figure it out before a near-death experience forces the realization.”

They both laugh nervously, eyes drawn together again before the conversation continues. Maddie seemed to relax the most when Buck admitted they hadn’t told anyone they were dating until recently. She seemed amused when she found out the only ones who knew were her, Chris, and some of Eddie’s family.

“Oh, Chim is going to lose his mind,” she cackled, though she promised to keep the secret until they could tell him themselves.

The conversation turned away from Buck and Eddie’s relationship status for a while before Maddie seemed to realize something.

“I didn’t know you liked guys,” she said pointedly to Buck, who looked like a deer caught in headlights.

He seemed to shrink in on himself again, the nervous smile that had relaxed now back in full force. “You had already left when I realized. Once I was comfortable with it, I didn’t feel the need to tell anyone. I honestly forget it’s something people won’t automatically know,” he shrugged sheepishly.

Eddie felt a twinge of guilt at Buck’s words. He knew he was already dreading explaining his own sexuality to the rest of his family, and he wasn’t straight. He kept his eye on Buck’s expression, unsure if he was projecting the strained look he saw there.

“I hope you know I would never judge you for who you love. Even back then,” she took Buck’s hand, squeezing it comfortingly.

“I know. I never thought you would,” he relaxed, squeezing her hand back.

They spent the rest of the day visiting and doing chores around the house. Maddie was given a pair of Eddie’s sweats and one of Buck’s shirts when they both realized she had nothing but the pj’s she showed up in. She helped Buck make dinner and asked when they would start planning the wedding.

Eddie was already dreading the wedding. There was no way they could do a quick run to City Hall. Their friends and family would never forgive them, it would look suspicious to any attorney, and Buck would love an actual wedding.

Eddie didn’t admit to it to himself, but the last point outweighed the others.

“We wanted to tell a few people before starting to plan,” Eddie explained. Now they just needed Bobby to get his head out of his ass so they could tell the 118.

That’s when Eddie had an idea. He was sure a lightbulb went off above his head.

“I don’t like that look, Eddie,” Buck hedged, already slinking closer.

A slow, possibly devilish, smile split across Eddie’s face. “I think we should tell Athena next,” he said innocently as he washed the last plate from lunch.

“Athena?” Buck looked painfully confused. His head tilted to the side as he stared at the side of Eddie’s head.

“Yes, Athena,” Eddie turned his smirk to Buck. “Of course, we’ll have to tell her we will need to speak to your union rep before she gets an invite. Since it might be a conflict with Bobby preventing you from returning to work.”

Buck’s face slowly relaxed in shock. It was almost as though he was watching that future conversation unfold in his mind as his eyes darted over Eddie’s face. “That is evil,” he breathed, a cackle falling from his lips without permission.

_

When Chris came home that afternoon, Eddie noticed he seemed more attached to Buck than usual. His eyes seemed to follow the man once he was in the room. It came to a head that night when both Eddie and Buck agreed to tuck him in.

“One more chapter,” Chris whined. Eddie had to admit, Chris had Buck’s puppy eyes perfected.

“We have read 3 ‘one more’ chapters. It’s time for bed, mijo,” Eddie smoothed the blanket over Chris’ shoulder. He pressed a kiss against his forehead as he pulled away.

Chris wasn’t looking at Eddie. His gaze was now firmly attached to Buck, who had also stood up. If Eddie hadn’t been watching, he would have missed the flash of panic that took over Chris’ face.

“Wait, you didn’t give me a kiss goodnight,” Chris reached out as though to grab Buck’s hand.

Eddie watched as Buck smoothed the hair back off Chris’ forehead. Their eyes met as Buck pressed a gentle kiss there, matching looks of concern across their faces.

“All right, goodnight,” Buck said, pulling the blankets higher over Chris before stepping away.

They had just managed it to the door when Chris begged them to wait again.

“Okay,” Eddie sat at the edge of Chris’ bed. “Tell me what’s really wrong.”

Chris pulled the blankets up until they covered his mouth and chin. His eyes refused to meet Eddie’s concerned gaze. “Can I sleep with you and Buck?” He asks instead of an explanation.

Eddie met Buck’s gaze again, their matching concern not lessened. “Of course, but I need to know why first.”

Chris fidgeted. “I don’t want Buck to disappear. What if I wake up and he isn’t there.”

Eddie didn’t have to look at Buck. He could feel the man’s heart crack down the middle from the other side of the bed. His own heart must have been doing the same if the zap of pain he felt meant anything.

Eddie remained silent as Buck said on Chris’ other side. He wrapped his hand gently around the boy's smaller wrist, pulling his hand away from where he hid behind the blankets. “I’m not going anywhere tonight. Why don’t we give sleeping alone a try? You can come check on us any time if you get scared.”

Chris mulls it over while Eddie brushes his hair back off his forehead in a similar way to how Buck had done moments before. “Okay, but you promise your door won’t be locked,” he says pointedly to Eddie, who nods while he bites back a sappy smile.

“I promise,” Eddie says, helping Chris relax back into the bed before Buck and he attempt another escape.

This time they manage to leave without Chris interrupting. Both throw an extra goodnight into the room before shutting the door.

They are just passing the living room when Maddie calls out.

“Everything okay?” She seems to be partially asleep, her arm hanging off the edge of the couch and her hair already wild.

“Yeah, don’t worry about it,” Eddie whispers. Her breath evens out by the time they make it to their room.

They get ready for bed in silence. Buck keeps his tense back facing Eddie as he changes. His muscles bunch with each movement before a shirt is tugged on. The silence was becoming painfully heavy when Eddie decided to break it.

“Are you okay?” He asked, eyes never leaving Buck’s back.

“Yeah, I just was thinking.” Eddie’s eyes narrowed at the vague response. He knew Buck too well to not notice when he was uncomfortable about something,

“Is it about Chris?” He asks after a couple more beats.

Buck sighed, finally turning to face Eddie. “No. I realized something earlier today, and I haven’t been able to get it out of my head.” He admitted as he sat on the side of the bed in a slump.

Eddie joined him on his side of the bed. Their thighs brushed together from how close they were. When Buck’s eyes finally met his, he raised a single brow in question.

“We’ll be expected to kiss,” Buck admits after a tense moment. He looked both terrified and worried. Eddie would have laughed at the expression if it wasn’t aimed at Buck having to kiss him.

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. If you don’t want to kiss, we won’t.”

Buck’s head bobbed with a nod; gaze drawn back to the floor between his feet. “I’m not… against kissing,” he fidgeted.

Eddie couldn’t deny the way his heart leaped in his chest. It felt like it was trying to escape and run circles around the room. It felt like he had been punched in the chest, causing him to take a deep breath to be sure he could still breathe. “I’m not against kissing either.”

Buck froze to the point Eddie was afraid he wasn’t breathing. He was about to reach out and check on the man when he jerked back. “This is going to sound weird, but I don’t want our first kiss to be a show,” Buck rushed out, his words tangling over his tongue as he stumbled. The blush that was slowly spreading across his cheeks looked painfully red.

“All right,” Eddie’s voice was almost a whisper as he turned to face Buck. He didn’t like how anxious Buck looked. The line of his spine looked painfully tense. He hesitated to touch; afraid he would dart away. Slowly, as though reaching towards a spooked horse, he drew Buck’s hand into his and tugged until they faced each other.

“Is this okay?” He asked, his eyes never leaving Buck’s face. The blush he found there was just as intense as before. He wondered if the skin was hot to the touch.

Buck nodded. He looked like he had swallowed his tongue. Before Eddie could say anything further, his eyes closed. His face was too pinched for Eddie’s liking.

He brought the hand he was holding up to his lips. Gently, he pressed a kiss against Buck’s knuckles. He knew it wasn’t what the other man was expecting. The small gasping inhale the action caused sent a shiver down his spine.

The skin was a little rough there. It scratched against his lips as he moved from one knuckle to the next until all four were kissed. By the fourth knuckle, Buck started to relax.

He moved to cup Buck’s hand before pulling it back to reveal his hidden palm. Their eyes met as Eddie pressed the fifth kiss at the center. He could see the shiver that traveled through Buck as his lips pressed against the much softer and more sensitive skin.

If the way Buck stared at him with slightly parted lips and heavy eyes sent a zap of amusement through him, he kept that to himself.

They had gravitated closer together. Their chests leaned in until Eddie could feel Buck’s breath against his cheek. The hand not holding Buck’s reached up to slide along the man’s cheek. His thumb brushed over the flushed skin below his electric blue eye. It was just as warm as he imagined. He wanted to press kisses along the cheek and over the bridge of his nose until it was glowing.

Their noses touched, bumping softly before Eddie finally felt Buck’s lips graze his. Surging forward, their lips clashed in a breathless tangle.

“Dad?”

Both men jerked back, their chests heaving with breath as they were rudely brought back to Earth.

They sat frozen for a moment, Eddie still cupping Buck’s face and Buck grasping Eddie’s shirt in a twisted grip.

“Yeah?” Eddie called out after clearing his throat. He still sounded breathless to his ears.

They had just untangled themselves when the door creaked open. Chris stood, looking sad in his pajamas with tears rolling down his cheeks

“Oh, mijo,” Eddie reached out to the boy, who was already clambering up between the two.

“I tried sleeping alone. Don’t make me go back,” he hiccuped, breath stuttering from upset.

“Of course not,” Buck soothed, brushing back the boy's sweaty bangs.

They situated themselves into bed. Chris is in the middle of the two men. It didn’t take long for him to fall back to sleep. His chest rose steadily as Buck and Eddie watched with matching expressions of worry.

Eddie fell asleep before he could panic over their first kiss.