Chapter Text
It was strange how two simple lines could change the trajectory of a person’s life.
Utahime stared at them, hunkered over the sink, willing them to change. Maybe one of them would fade – a broken thing, a faulty defect – and she could breathe out a sigh of relief. However, no matter how long she looked at it, the two lines didn’t vanish. A cute pink, her favorite color as a little girl, damning her to hell.
She was going to get sick. This couldn’t be happening. This couldn’t be real. She couldn’t be–
A young man’s face flashed in her mind. Dark and angry eyes, a set frown, a cold look on his face. She’d shied away from him then, stepping just out of his reach, terrified of the person she no longer recognized. He had let her go when she feared he wouldn’t.
The irony, of course, was that she was irrevocably tied to him now. He hadn’t lost his grip on her, not entirely.
Just when she was considering taking another test, the door burst open with a shout, “Uta! What are you doing in there? You’re taking so long!”
Utahime yelped, “Get out, Gojo!” but it was too late. Startled out of her smothering thoughts, she dropped the stick in her hand. It rattled about in the porcelain sink, loud enough to catch her intruder’s attention, but before she could hide it from sight, he snatched it up.
“Oh, ho, what’s–?” Gojo stopped mid-teasing, his gaze landing on the object in his fingers.
“Give me that,” Utahime seethed, ripping it out of his grasp.
“Uta, you’re…” His eyes flickered up to her face, hidden partially by his dark sunglasses. The little blue she could see was too much, her face warming under his shocked stare. “What…?”
Utahime gripped the stick tightly in her fist. “Get out.”
Gojo didn’t look away, much less move to leave her alone. “Uta…”
“I said, get out!” Utahime yelled, tears burning her eyes. “Please.”
All of a sudden, it became too much for her to bear. It was one thing when she alone had known – this terrible secret trapped in the bathroom with just her – but now that someone else knew of her shame, it was all too real. This was happening. This wasn’t a fluke.
She was pregnant at twenty-one, and she couldn’t even tell the father.
Tears slid down her cheeks, forcing Utahime to hide her face in her hands as she choked on a broken sob. It wasn’t the first time she had cried in front of Gojo, but that had usually been more out of anger and embarrassment than anything else. This was different, guilt and fear overcoming her so strongly that she could barely breathe through her cries. Gojo touched her shoulder, and then she was falling forward, crashing into his chest. Her entire body shook with each sob, and she curled in on herself as he wrapped his arms around her.
“Shit, hey, it’s okay. It’s–” Gojo wasn’t the best at comforting people – in fact, he might have been the worst person in the world, the words awkward on his tongue and his gestures stilted – but she didn’t care. It still felt good to be held by someone, especially when she couldn’t get any comfort from the other person involved in this. “You’re gonna be okay. I mean, you’re practically mom material.”
It was stupid and irritated her, but Utahime actually choked on a laugh in between sobs. “Idiot.”
“Yeah, I am, but I’m your favorite idiot.”
He was. Utahime might’ve come off like she hated him, but the truth was far more complicated than that. It always was, and there was nothing she could do about it right now except cry it out.
It took a few more minutes of crying before she managed to calm herself down. When she pulled away, she was surprised to find a damp spot on the front of Gojo’s school jacket. He’d dropped Infinity while he held her, allowing her tears to stain his clothes. She sniffed, rubbing at her nose, embarrassed and exhausted. She probably looked terrible. Cheeks red, eyes puffy, hair a mess. Gojo was probably biting back a teasing comment, waiting for the right moment to drop it on her.
“Sorry,” Utahime mumbled. “I’ll clean myself up.”
“Don’t worry about it.” Gojo’s hands were still on her arms, thumbs rubbing circles over the sleeves of her hakama. She couldn’t remember touching him so much or if he’d ever been this gentle with her before. It was nice. Had she been missing this side of him the whole time? “Not to be weird or anything, but I didn’t know you were seeing someone.”
“I’m not,” Utahime replied, her tone flat and final.
“Oh.” Gojo swallowed. “Well, I guess that explains, ya know…”
“The crying?” Utahime finished for him.
“Yeah.” Gojo looked her over. “Are you okay?”
“Not really.”
Gojo winced. “Yeah, okay, stupid question.”
Unable to meet his eyes, Utahime averted her gaze to the wet spot on his chest. She could feel his Six Eyes creeping over her, taking in her appearance. Could he sense the difference in her now? The change that she herself had been fearing the past three weeks but hadn’t wanted to acknowledge? It made her feel sick all over again. She couldn’t hide from him, but there was one thing she couldn’t admit to him, not yet.
“So, uh…the, uh… the father…”
Utahime shook her head. There was nothing more she could say. She couldn’t speak the truth. She couldn’t tell him the one thing she knew would hurt him more than anything else.
Stupid, stupid girl. What had she done?
She couldn’t tell Gojo that the father of her unborn child was his former best friend, the man who had betrayed them all and turned his back on Jujutsu society.