Chapter Text
To everyone around, Ghost was an enigma. No one knew anything about him, they didn’t know what he looked like, what he liked, what he didn’t like, if he had a partner, any wishes, dreams, goals, anything. They knew nothing. That was what people thought, however the 141 knew quite a bit, Price knew his entire backstory, knew his tells, when he gets overwhelmed, when he doesn’t talk, he knows how to take care of it. Soap knew parts of his backstory, he understood his expressions through his eyes, he knew some habits he had like picking at his gloveless fingers, he knew a fair bit. Gaz knew little than the rest only things Soap has told him, he could read a few expressions, he understood his mood changes, he didn’t know much but they were still good friends.
With all this in mind Soap thought he knew Ghost fairly well, he thought they were great friends, they would flirt and have shitty banter over comms, Ghost wouldn’t flinch back at his touch, Soap always knew where to find him, they would share about themselves over drinks, they would enjoy each other’s company.
And that’s how Soap found himself falling in love with his Lieutenant. Ghost made him feel special, more special than any other ex he’s had, Ghost would look out for him in the field, would make shitty dad jokes to calm him down, would stick up for him when stupid rookies thought they could overstep. And most importantly Ghost was sexy and just Johnny’s type, he was tall, looming at 6’4, he was muscular being able to pin Soap down in a spar at 3 seconds flat, he was protective watching over Soap during their duo mission instead of sleeping, and he was the most beautiful man Soap had ever seen during those few seconds in Las Almas he got to see his face was amazing.
As much as he thought Ghost liked him back, he was still a tad scared, what if Ghost doesn’t like him back? What if he just wants to be friends? What if he gets disgusted and doesn’t want to be friends? What if he’s just reading into this all? What if? He wanted to tell Ghost so many times he liked him because Johnny had this tiny inkling of belief that Ghost liked him back, and that’s how he found himself being talked into confessing his feelings tonight.
The 141 were on a month leave on base, basically they were just not doing missions, instead doing paperwork, training, relaxing etc. Price had invited the team including Laswell, out to their local bar for drinks and a small announcement that Ghost seemed extra edited about which was highly out of character, so now Soap was situated in Gaz’s room before they left.
“I’m just sayin’ mate, go for it, were on leave for a month if you get together you get a whole month together being all romantic and shit, if not than we can watch movies and hang out.” Gaz suggested whilst rummaging through his closet for an outfit.
“Aye…but wha’ if he hates me? Or wha’ if he avoids me and nev-.”
“Mate! Even the rookies think there’s something goin’ on between you two, trust me he likes you back.”
“Alright listen, who can touch him with them getting beat the fuck up?” Gaz asks coming to stand in front of Soap who’s sitting on his bed, Soap looked up at the man confused where this was going.
“Me?”
“Yes, and who flirts with him over comms?”
“Me-.“
“Yeah, and who got the privilege of his shitty dad jokes?”
“I don-.“
“It’s all you Soapy, if he doesn’t end up liking you back and is a cunt then I’ll take the offer to beat the shit out of him, I probably won’t win but fuck, Soap, you’re my best mate and I love you, trust me he loves you too.”
“Well, I don’t know if ‘love’ is th-.”
“Your journal is literally filled with a section just for Ghost. You love him.”
Soap sighed in defeat flopping back on the bed running fingers through his styled mohawk.
“Fuck…I’m gonna do it, I’ll do it, I can do this!”
“See that’s the spirit, we can celebrate your new relationship at the bar, it will be fine.”
“Now what do you think of this?” Gaz asks bringing a jacket and black jeans out and holding them in front of his body showcasing them.
“Hmm I dinnae ken mate where’s yer signature cap?” Johnny giggles, Gaz retaliates by ruffling his mohawk.
They finally finished getting dressed and messing around and made it out of the base, the bar was a local bar they frequented, it was about a 5 minute walk. Gaz and Soap were laughing and giggling the whole way there, encouraging him for the confession.
“Alright, alright, what about, ‘Simon…I-‘ and then you start blushing ‘love you’ and then you kiss.” Gaz giggled out, bumping into Soap.
He scoffed then giggled along, “Aye mate that sound feckin’ wonderful, I’m sure Simon would wan’ tae date me then.”
“Okay, well what’s your idea then Soapy?” The brit asked, amusement running through his tone.
“Alreit, wha’ aboot, ‘Simon, I like you and I would like to date you I’m sorry if that makes you feel uncomfortable or now you hate me and you don’t want to be friends with me-‘ I can’t do it, shit Gaz I can’t do it.” Panic bubbled around his body, the thought of Ghost hating him made this all worse.
“Shhhh, Soapy I believe in you, you can do it, then you can buy me drinks for being your best wingman.”
“Well, were here, you can do it mate.” Gaz gave a reassuring pat on the back.
“Shite.”
They made their way to the door to enter the bar, it was buzzling with many people, I’m sure Simon would not be comfortable here. Gaz pushed the door open, the smell of alcohol and the talking of people filled their senses.
“Feck me ‘s busy…” The scot mumbled.
“Christ, oh I see them, c’mon.”
Gaz led them through the crowd toward the booth were the other three…or four people were? Laswell was sat next to Price sipping at their drinks, and Ghost was situated next to someone… He looked smaller than Ghost by a lot, he was lightly muscular probably enough to make it in the army, his hair was a wavy fluff of brown, he had warm brown eyes and he looked…he looked really attractive Johnny thought.
Gaz and Soap forgot they were just standing there staring at this random person, they were flailing their hands about, oh they were signing, and Ghost was signing back? They never knew Ghost could sign. Price pulled the, from their thoughts with a clear of the throat.
“Boys, stop standing there, are you sittin’ down or what?” Prices rough voice rumbled through the air.
Gaz and Soap squashed into the booth heavily squishing with one another and giggling like school girls, the rando was staring hard at them both.
“So, uh…Gonna introduce us or what?” Gaz asked breaking the silence.
“There is exciting news for the 141.” Laswell spoke.
“Shite! We gettin’ a newbie?” Soap asked cheerily, Soaps is always welcoming to new people I mean he loves everyone, he is always fond of making a new friend.
“Not only that but…Simon you want to?” Price said turning his gaze to the masked man.
“This is our new member, his callsign is Roach…and his name is… Gary Sanderson-Riley.” The brit spoke nervously which was odd, Roach waved at them both excitedly, his smile was so cute, it looked like it could light up a room on a gloomy day.
Soap and Gaz were dumb founded, he had almost the same last name as Ghost?
“Wait…you both have ‘Riley’ as a surname that’s funny.” Gaz giggled.
Price chuckled along with Laswell; both looking at the two confused kids.
“No, well yes,” Ghost went on, suddenly he became very nervous, the next few words mumbled broke Soap, “he’s…my husband.” Ghost said.
At that the world went silent for Johnny, his heart stopped his stomach dropped, bile stuttered at his throat threating to escape, his eyes stung. Everything stopped. Simon was married…Simon has a husband…Simon was taken…Simon will never be his…and he will never be Simon’s… He spent the entire evening planning with Gaz how to confess, and his heart was absolutely fucking destroyed before he could even confess.
It felt like someone clawed their way into his chest and ripped his heart out, throwing it on the ground and smashing it over and over again with a hammer. Every piece of him cracked, broke off and shattered, all that hope, all that excitedness, all the giggles, left. Dread simmered through him, Simon was the first person he had ever loved this deeply, and yet it was destroyed before it could ever be used.
The words hit Gaz like a truck, ‘husband’ Ghost has a husband, Soap likes Ghost, Soap was going to confess to Ghost tonight, and Ghost has a husband. Worry spread through him like a wild fire, he slowly turned his head to face the scot, who was currently staring at nothing, completely unfocused. Fuck.
Gaz slid his hand under the table toward Johnny and grabbed his hand squeezing it reassuringly.
“Roach has been on medical leave for a few months, that’s why he hasn’t been around, but he is coming back to the 141.” Price announced giddily.
Johnny blinked back to conscious as the heartache settled in his chest, fuck he needed to leave right now, or he was going to burst into tears.
He hastily stood up, gaining all eyes on him, “I need to piss.” And off he shot toward the bathroom.
Gaz quickly thought of an excuse to cover for his friend, “we drunk a bit before we came, I need to go too, be right back.” He muttered the lie before getting up to leave.
He entered the bathroom and examined the room, there was a line of sinks on the left and a line of stalls on the right, Johnny was in a stall farthest from the door, Gaz knocked on the stall lightly, “Soapy?” he said softly.
The stall door opened, and Gaz walked in, Johnny was sitting on the toilet lid head in hands.
“Soapy, I’m so sorry…”
“I never even had a chance.”
“Yeah…Let’s just forget about it for tonight and go drink, have fun yeah?”
“Fuck, ky all those times, we were even flirting over comms, or was I just reading into that too…”
“I- I’m not sure mate, from what I heard it was pretty heated.”
“He has a husband…”
Gaz knelt down holding Johnny’s hands and looking up at the scot.
“Drinks on me?”
Johnny smiled weakly and nodded, he got up and Gaz pulled him in for a hug.
“I guess movies and hang it is this month…”
They both chuckled and made their way back to the group, Price telling more of his stories as Laswell blocked him out, she lit up at the other two arriving again. The pang in Johnny’s chest came back but he fought against it, he didn’t want to make it such a big deal.
“Shite been holding that one in fer a while.” He giggled as Gaz pushed his way into the booth squashing him.
“Sergeants great to have you back, I was just telling the story about the time in Ge-.”
“Aint wanna hear it old man.” Gaz giggled out.
Next Soap interrupted, “Kyyy get me a scotch, please.”
“Duty calls.” Gaz shrugged giggling and getting up toward the bar for the drinks.
The night went slowly, Johnny tried his best not to cry every time he looked at the other two, however Roach was very interested in him, he indulged in as much conversation as you could with someone who was mute and someone who didn’t know sign language. Roach was actually, kind of interesting and sweet, he could see how Ghost fell for him.
Oh, that’s right, fell for him, not Johnny, him.
Johnny downed drink after drink, the sweet burn of the alcohol washed away his grief. Johnny and Gaz messed around the whole time and were giggling, and joking with each other, Ghost and Roach left for the bathroom, then Gaz and Soap left for the bar, which left Price and Kate.
“I’m worried for him…” Price muttered, swirling the bronze liquid around his glass.
“Which him?” Laswell scoffed.
“John, you know how he looks at Simon, I’m pretty sure everyone knows except Simon. Did you see his face, it was like someone killed his whole family in front of him.”
“Well, there’s not much we can do about that, Kyle seems to be handling it.”
“Yeah, by buying him every drink in the dam bar.”
“Well just keep an eye on him, takes time to heal, especially from that.”
The night went by quicker now, Johnny was drunk as anything with Kyle, they were giggling and whispering like little girls, they sat at an empty table across from the booth practically sitting on each other. Price and Laswell were having a hefty conversation about god knows what, and Simon and Gary were just signing to each other.
Simon felt a choke in his heart, Johnny had barely looked at him this entire night, he barely spoke to him, and he was getting pissed drunk. It was so out the ordinary for him, he didn’t know what he did for Johnny to suddenly act like he isn’t there. Every now and then Simon was sneak a glance over at the two, a small match lit with jealousy seeing how close Gaz was to Johnny, but he can’t be jealous he has a husband.
As the night grew, Gaz and Soap were cut off from the bar by Price, the bar was near empty at this point, and it was time to head back to base. Gaz held tightly onto Soap as they made their way for the exit, with the others not far behind. The crisp air felt like a shower after a long mission, it washed over Soap with a refreshing breeze calming his head.
The walk back to base was calm, the night sky full of ripe stars, the moon shinning beautifully bright, the wildlife has ceased, and the nocturnal animals came out to play. Johnny leaned his head to rest on Gaz’s shoulder, he felt calm, he felt relaxed, he felt…good.
A gruff chuckle broke the silence, “No bug, you need to sleep.” Simon’s voice echoed through his head, that’s right, Simon. The man he was going to confess to, the man who announced he has a husband who was joining their team.
That stab in his heart came back, and his eyes stung, he was drunk and when he’s drunk, he’s honest and if he’s honest right now, he will cry like anything and confess to Simon. They were almost back at base luckily, Gaz noticed the tears forming in Johnny’s eyes and sped up a little, the others did not need to see Johnny cry right now.
They made it to the gates, and Gaz never slowed down, he kept whispering to his friend over and over again trying to calm him down, they reached the barracks and Gaz looked back.
“I’m gonna get this one to a bathroom, goodnight!” He shouted as he left the others in the dust, his strength was depleting as he carried the heavy scot through the hall to Johnny’s door, they made it in and collapsed onto the bed.
Everything finally collapsed, every single feeling was bottled so tightly, and that final sting broke the glass and it all shattered free. Violent sobs crammed the room, tears shed consistently as he gasped for air, his heart hurt so much. Why did he have to have a husband.
“I know, I know buddy, let it all out. I’m so sorry, this was all my fault.” Gaz rubbed his hand on Johnny’s back reassuring him as best he could.
“S’ not yer fault Ky…I’m an eejit…tae think…he liked me back.” Johnny mumbled through sobs.
“No, Soapy you’re not an idiot.”
Gaz found his way to Johnny’s boots unlacing them and plopping them on the floor, next he took of his own shoes. He helped take Johnny’s jacket off and Johnny snuggled into the bed quietly sobbing, he took his own jacket off and joined Johnny in the bed.
He snuggled up with Johnny and held him as he cried, the night was filled with tears and cries but slowly turned into even breathing and soft snores, as the two fell asleep together.