Archive of Our Own

“Two whole days, huh?” Eddie asks with fond amusement as he folds the last of Christopher’s clean shirts, stacking it neatly in the laundry basket.

“Eddie,” Buck groans, his voice a little gruff with just the quietest tinge of nauseous that tells him that Buck probably hasn’t had anything to eat yet, “how am I supposed to distract myself for two days if I can’t talk to anyone or scour the internet from the comfort of my own bed.”

“You do know you have a laptop, right?” Eddie hums, the phone carefully tucked against his shoulder and his ear as he maneuvers to Christopher’s room to put the clothes away.

“Fine,” Buck relents, “I have a laptop, but you know that doesn’t solve the can’t talk to anyone problem.”

“I know everyone is working tomorrow,” Eddie says quietly, lips turning down in the corner, “but I have the second day off, how about I come pick you up on my way home and you can help Christopher and I with the garden.”

“Did you decide on which vegetables you’re going to pick?” Buck asks, immediately perking up on the other end of the line.

Eddie thanks anyone who is listening that he’s alone, his cheeks dusting a soft pink as he pictures Buck’s sunshine grin spreading across his face.

“Not yet,” Eddie answers, “but I’m sure by Saturday you’re going to have a ranked spreadsheet with all of the best options.”

“Admit it,” Buck teases, “you would be lost without me.”

Eddie swallows the sudden lump in his throat. For a moment the room shifts, bright colors melting into a bleak gray, like rain clouds crowding a beautiful blue sky. There’s a buzzing in his ear, like the sound of television static cut by the all too familiar beep of a hospital monitor. The taste of too cold coffee sits heavily on his tongue, washing down the metallic bite that fills every inch of his mouth like it’s the only thing keeping him from screaming. If he reaches out, leans a little forward he can run his fingers along the maze of tubs, big and small, the only things keeping Buck alive—

“Eds?”

Eddie blinks, his fingers curling in the fabric of Christopher’s pillows, the laundry basket askew and spilling his uniform shirts all over the foot of the bed.

“Sorry,” Eddie mumbles, “when do you have to go radio silent?”

He hears Buck huff a laugh on the other end and he strangely feels like he somehow missed a step.

“They’re giving me the monitor thing in like ten minutes,” Buck answers, “how will my base in Clash of Clans ever survive without me?”

Eddie can’t stop the too loud laugh from bursting behind his lips, but he doesn’t mind as he hears Buck break off into a fit he’s unsuccessfully trying to quiet behind the palm of his hand.

“At least I can get a break from my mom’s insistent and quite frankly annoying check-in messages,” Buck adds with a roll of his eyes.

“Are you saying your notifications have been Clash of Clan pop-ups and Margaret Buckley unhelpful flaxseed smoothie recipes for heart health?” Eddie asks not quite keeping the edge of bitchiness he reserves especially for Buck’s mother out of his tone.

“And Ravi’s endless meme stream in the group chat.” Buck chuckles, “I saved the ‘i lived bitch’ and sent it to Maddie. Needless to say she was not amused.”

“Can’t imagine why,” Eddie deadpans as he heads to his own room.

Buck starts to say something else, but Eddie can hear his name being called, distant and muffled, in the background. Buck sighs heavily, all joking and warmth seeped away as he says, “I’ve got to go, don’t miss me too much.”

“I’ll pick you up Saturday morning,” Eddie reassures him, “so you and your spreadsheet better be ready to go by nine am sharp.”

“Spreadsheet, diagrams, and powerpoint presentation.” And Eddie can tell he’s smiling again. “See you later, Eds.”

“Bye Buck.” Eddie murmurs, waiting until Buck hangs up first.

He holds his phone in his hand, thumb swiping over his background picture of the three of them at the beach together. Buck and Christopher are tinted a little pink, curls wild and unruly from the saltwater. Christopher is squished between them, smiling brightly as Eddie and Buck make a silly face. He lets out a long, deep breath, like he’s been holding it for days now (maybe he has) and slides his phone into his pocket.

Thursday

4:48 PM

Eddie: Saw one of those Hummingbirds you and Chris are obsessed with. Anna’s Hummingbird?

4:52 PM

Eddie: Can confirm Anna’s Hummingbird. I would send you the picture I took, but Christopher thought it was so bad he nearly fell off his chair from laughing.

4:54 PM

Eddie: It’s not that bad.

4:56 PM

Eddie: Okay. Maybe it is bad.

6:17 PM

Eddie: Christopher suddenly hates brussel sprouts so you can rule those out of the spreadsheet.

6:18 PM

Eddie: Apparently the school tried serving them for lunch today and they smelled like boiled feet.

6:18 PM

Eddie: Which okay that’s fucking disgusting, but Buck I swear you better take this to your grave, I hate brussel sprouts with a burning passion ever since Sophia shoved one up my nose when I was nine.

6:19 PM

Eddie: It got stuck and my Abeula had to take me to the ER to get it removed.

6:19 PM

Eddie: Also I swear if you text her or one of my sisters for a photo I will dump all of your organic oat milk down the drain and steal every carton from the grocery store within a twenty mile radius.

8:03 PM

Eddie: Only three minutes into last night’s episode of Love Island and you would not believe this bullshit.

8:03 PM

Eddie: Cassie dumped Colton for Sky. Fucking too tight board shorts Sky.

8:04 PM

Eddie: He’s not even that good looking.

8:10 PM

Eddie: SKY JUST KISSED CHARLOTTE WHAT IS HAPPENING

8:58 PM

Eddie: I’m only voting for Anne and Elliot because I think Elliot might betray her for Beau and I want to watch that drama play out.

10:18 PM

Eddie: I can’t sleep so be prepared for some stupid whale facts I found via the Instagram reel rabbit hole.

10:28 PM

Eddie: I’ve learned so much about whale reproduction against my will, it’s only fair you suffer with me too.

Friday

1:02 AM

Eddie: I do miss you.

Friday

8:04 AM

Eddie: Ravi was late this morning and the poor guy nearly brained himself on the dinner table coming up the loft stairs.

8:04 AM

Eddie: Chimney and Hen are on a rather impressive two minute run of teasing jokes.

9:22 AM

Eddie: Chimney got shit on by an entire flock of geese. Ravi took so many pictures from at least five different angles.

10:01 AM

Eddie: Chimney has been in the showers for at least twenty minutes, we had to send in Bobby to make sure he didn’t drown.

12:15 PM

Eddie: Rope rescues aren’t the same without you.

1:08 PM

Eddie: Cap made brussel sprouts for lunch if you never hear from me again just know that I was not god’s strongest soldier or whatever Ravi said that one time.

3:58 PM

Eddie: I miss having my partner on the job.

8:18 PM

Eddie: Just got back from a tough call. I didn’t realize how much having your knee knocking into my own grounded me after stuff like that. I don’t think I’ll sleep much tonight. Or at all.

10:30 PM

Eddie: I can’t stop thinking about the night that you—

10:30 PM

Eddie: Fuck. Sorry. I’m sorry.

10:34 PM

Eddie: It’s raining. There’s an approaching storm and I’m stuck in the bathroom because the sound of thunder makes my stomach turn.

10:38 PM

Eddie: I know it’s not rational. That you’re probably already asleep, but don’t go outside. Just stay safe. Be safe. Please just don’t go outside.

11:58 PM

Eddie: Don’t tell anyone that I threw up behind the firetruck on scene. I couldn’t stop myself when I saw this guy in a white striped shirt laying in the middle of the road in the pounding rain.

11:59 PM

Eddie: Car accident. Bad one. The rain wasn’t enough to wash all of the blood speckled against his shirt.

Saturday

2:10 AM

Eddie: You said I would be lost without you.

2:18 AM

Eddie: I’ve always thought I’d have more time.

Saturday

8:02 AM

Eddie: I’m on my way.

8:04 AM

Eddie: And I know you can’t see this now, but it’s just habit. Your name is always at the top of my list. Even when we’re right next to each other you’re sending a picture or half a grocery list so you don’t forget Christopher’s favorite cereal when we swing by the store.

8:06 AM

Eddie: Remember that time you used our text chat to memorize everyone’s coffee order? I can rattle Athena’s surprisingly complicated latte requirements in my sleep because of you.

8:16 AM

Eddie: Down in the Valley by Head and the Heart is playing on the radio. Didn’t you cry when you heard this song live at their concert last September?

8:26 AM

Eddie: Don’t tell Chimney this because crying to Landslide at eight thirty in the morning running on two hours of sleep is perfectly reasonable.

8:48 AM

Eddie: I’m here.

“Eddie,” Buck asks with a slight furrow in his brow, “who are you texting?”

Eddie quickly hits the send button (Did you know that one of Los Angeles’ native flowers is called Popcornflower?) and shoves his phone in his pocket. “Hen,” he lies quickly, and yeah okay, he knows Buck can easily read that, but he doesn’t get called on it.

“Well,” Buck yawns as he stretches in his chair and Eddie catches a small sliver of skin, the beautiful shape of Buck’s V that makes his mouth go dry, “tell her she left her crockpot at the loft and I am not washing it this time.”

“Sure,” Eddie smiles warmly.

He sneakily snaps a picture of Buck and Christopher pouring over Buck’s garden spreadsheet and sends it to Buck when neither of them are looking.

Sunday

1:42 AM

Eddie: I don’t know who I’d be without you. I don’t want to ever know the person I would become if you were gone.

2:32 AM

Eddie: What’s the Jane Austen quote? The one you sent me when you were on a classics kick after I left the 118?

2:36 AM

Eddie: “If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more”

2:38 AM

Eddie: I think I finally understood what that meant, standing in your hospital room just a few weeks ago.

2:39 AM

Eddie: Because everyone else was by your side. Everyone else was able to hold your hand and tell you to fight. To wake up. To come back. To come home.

3:03 AM

Eddie: If I loved you less.

Eddie: If I loved you less.

Eddie: I might be able to talk about it more.

Sunday

9:16 AM

Buck: eddie fucking diaz you better be awake because i am breaking every traffic law to get to your house right now and i am going to kiss you so hard

9:18 AM

Eddie: I’ll be waiting.