Chapter Text
Each of the Boys and the other members from the Suicide Squad sat inside gigantic tubes floating inside a rotating ring. Inside the tube, it was like a jet pilot's seat but with nothing to operate, they all could hear Waller speaking from their earpieces as the ring started rotating faster and their seats started shaking.
“You should arrive on Earth Seven Russian automatically.” Waller explained. “In case of a setback, be careful until we manage to send you to the right place.”
“Uhm, a setback?” Hughie said. “Ma’am, I don’t think I follow it.”
“When we use this, we usually send the passenger to a closer geographical equivalent of this place on your Earth but in the case of a different continent, the Multiverse crack between our Earth and yours can have an unpredictable effect.”
“The fuck you mean unpredictable…?” Mother’s Milk started asking but was cut by his teleportation from Earth One.
EARTH +
MM appeared on a hill, his bag of guns next to him, that was definitely not Russia. In his wrist, a bracelet that should connect him to the teleporter. A man with ragged clothes and a scarred face looked at MM, the man had a blade out of his bleeding crotch, as if a butcher knife was shoved in there and the blade was his penis.
“I’m going to fuck you hard!” He yelled and raced towards MM.
MM put out his hand gun and shot the man dead in the chest. Then touched his earpiece expecting an answer to Waller.
“Where the fuck did you send me to?” MM demanded to know.
“We are recalibrating the system, just keep your bracelet and wait.”
“Some maimed guy tried to kill me!”
“Maimed? You’re not in a zombie inhabited universe are you?”
MM laughed, the notion of that question one day would be insane but not anymore. He walked towards the body and took a nice look on the man’s face, his scar was shaped like a cross or a plus sign and covered his entire face from the nose, vertical and horizontal.
“I watched ‘Night of the Living Dead’, this is something else.” MM answered and heard a shot aimed at him.
Climbing the hill, a man with no arms carrying a little person with no legs in a baby carrier, they both had the cross scars on their faces, the little person had a shotgun.
“Found one here! A black one!” The legless little man yelled and many more crossfaces started running up the hill.
“Definitely ain’t zombies.” MM said as he took his assault rifle out of the bag.
EARTH 77
In his office on the top floor of the Flatiron Building, a dark haired man put his black shirt back on, and a blonde woman put on her skirt. He smirked, staring at her while she was angry and avoiding looking directly at him.
“So, love, your office wasn’t enough and you had to do it on mine?” The British man teased.
“Shut the fuck up.” She answered.
“Tell your husband I sent my regards, will ya?”
As they left his office, they passed by a Japanese woman with messy hair, a black man wearing red sunglasses and a white man with goggles, all of them except the blonde woman wore similar long black trench coats. They all were surprised when Hughie appeared out of light in the middle of their office with a bag next to him. He just sat down, and looked out of the window realizing he was back in New York.
“Uh, hey, guys,” He said. “I’m sorry to barge in, I better get going.”
Hughie attempted to take his bag but the man in goggles stepped on it.
“Envahisseur, I recognize a bag of guns when I see one.” The man said. He had an over the top French accent, much more exaggerated than Frenchie’s. “What were you planning to do with it?”
“Leave, I swear.”
“You’re not going anywhere before you clear this out. Who are you? Did Vought send you?” The blonde woman said.
That moment, Hughie had a flashback in his mind, he knew this woman, he watched her head explode right in front of him. That woman was Susan Raynor, the hair was different but it was her. He also noticed Kimiko and Mother’s Milk were there, dressed like Butcher.
“Ok, time out.” Hughie said and got up. “I guess I’m back in New York but not my New York. This is going to sound crazy, but I’m from another universe.”
“Yeah, and I’m from Oz.” This other MM said.
This other Kimiko started walking towards Hughie, the look on her face was expressionless and dead. Hughie walked back.
“By the look on your face, lad, I figure you know what she can do.” This strange British man, who Hughie figured was this universe’s Butcher, said.
“Come on, Kimiko, we’re friends.” Hughie pleaded.
With this sentence, the mood changed, the alternate the Boys looked astounded and surprised at Hughie. Suddenly, Butcher grabbed Hughie’s head and lifted him above the ground, pressing his cranium to the wall.
“Drop the comic script, cunt.” Butcher ordered. “How in bloody hell do you know the Female’s real name?”
EARTH P
“You are telling the truth.” Qubit said, having Butcher’s earpiece connected to his computer. “This is receiving signals from a different universe.”
Butcher (Earth Seven Butcher) was in some kind of ultra advanced lab/headquarters surrounded by robots, all which look like the same middle aged man wearing a vest and tie but with an inhuman robotic face. Butcher‘s neck was still bruised from the electricity blast he had just taken.
“I fucking told you.” Butcher said.
“You still came up all hotheaded.” Volt, a one-armed black superhero, said.
“I don’t use the hand you have left to…?”
“Quiet, Butcher.” Waller’s voice echoed from Qubit’s computer. “The rest of the task force ended up in situations worse than yours and they’re not whining.”
“You’re still there, guv? I wasn’t sure after you sent me to the wrong Earth.”
“You’ll be on the right Earth soon.”
“I think we can help each other.” Qubit said. He was a thin white man with black hair and a long brown jacket, a scientist and somehow had the face of one.
“With what?” Waller questioned.
“He can’t help you.” Butcher said. “But they’re desperate for help. All the Earths with an evil Superman? This looks like the worst one.”
EARTH 1956
A cartoon. Frenchie was in a cartoon. He was a cartoon. And tied up and hanging upside down over a cartoon shark tank, in a cartoon spaceship surrounded by cartoon versions of Earth One villains. He looked down at the tank, the sharks looked like a still painting, as if money was saved by not animating them or simply there wasn’t the technology to animate anything from that angle.
“Frenchman, hang in there.” Waller said from his earpiece. “You’ll be on Earth Seven at any moment.”
“Hang?” Frenchie asked, outraged. “Is this a joke? I’m a cartoon!”
“You are our hostage!” The animated Lex Luthor said.
Luthor wore green power armor with pink gauntlets and boots. He was accompanied by a dozen other cartoony villains. One of them was a robot with a skull-face, his head was yellow on the round top. The robot checked Frenchie’s bracelet.
“Once I crack the secret’s behind this technology, I’ll recreate it and we’ll be able to spread our evil in the larger Multiverse.”
“Yes!” Riddler said, who wore a green costume with purple boots and gloves with a single giant question mark on his chest. “We’ll recruit the Super Enemies again and our forces are going to destroy the Super Friends!”
“Luthor, what about his comrades?” Black Manta asked. “Won’t they question why he did not arrive?”
“He’ll arrive. I have a plan. We’ll remove his brain and place it inside a monkey, meanwhile, we’ll put the brain of one of our henchmen in his body and he’ll work for us!”
“Great idea, Luthor.” Grodd, animated as a brown gorilla with sharpened teeth, said.
“Non!” Frenchie yelled. “Non, puton! Get away! Get away!”
EARTH 616
Kimiko drank a big cup of milkshake surrounded by a group of young girls, all dressed as superheroes and one of them in particular seemed to recognize her.
“I mean, I could never get into the comics, too much stupid shock value.” Gwenpool said she was a girl dressed like a leather white and pink ninja with her mouth visible and naked leg. “But I really liked the show! I think that’s where you’re from.”
“I’m sorry.” Viv Vision, the robotic girl with red skin and green hair said. “Gwen is a little… Odd? She thinks we’re in a comic.”
“We might be, I was retconned to be a mutant a while back so that probably doesn’t matter anymore. Hold on, you’re a completely separate property, does that mean we’re in a fanfic?”
“What’s wrong with fanfic?” Ms. Marvel, a girl in a blue mask and boots with a yellow symbol on her chest said. She had a large dog with an antenna on his head next to her. Kimiko was hesitant in petting the dog. “His name is Lockjaw, he likes hugs.”
Kimiko gave the gigantic dog a hug, at this moment, a portal opened and a very tall and ripped green skinned woman walked out alongside a goth Japanese girl carrying a gold staff in her normal arm, the other arm was black and appeared to belong to a fearsome mannequin.
“I just ran her tech through the Fantastic Four’s computers.” She-Hulk said. “The lady on the other end of the line was right, she’ll be back to her world at any moment. Meanwhile she can just wait here and hang.”
Kimiko shook her hand and showed her cup, indicating she wanted another milkshake.