Chapter Text
Columbina has created a groupchat
Columbina has added 10 users
Columbina has changed 11 names
Pants: Columbine what the fuck
Siren: It’s a group chat :3
Pants: I had no idea
Pants: Also what the fuck are these names
Siren: I chose them based off of how much I like you
Ginger pubes: w
Ginger pubes: i thought you likes me :(
Siren: I love yu my dear child
Siren: but i couldn’t pass the opportunity
Borderline pedo: Suck it childe
Borderline pedo: …
Ginger pubes: now see
Guard dog: Most accurate shit i’ve seen all day
Guard dog: Columbi
Siren: yessssss
Guard dog: Why
Siren: allw me to counter
Siren: what
Ginger pubes: how
Captin: You guys realise we’re meant to be working yea?
Robots: obviously we are dipshit
Borderline pedo: Why do they get normal names?
Old man: Because they’re normal
Ginger pubes: get fucked
Borderline pedo: Oh?
Scaraboobs: Go fuck yourself you fucking creepy ass cunt
Scaraboobs: lay a fucking finger on him and I’ll sever your dick off
Old man: Scara language
Guard dog: Nah let him speak
Captin: Not ot agree with Arlecchino but
Siren: bro literally spoke facts
Old man: Doesn’t matter
Pants: We’re grown adults
Ginger pubes: I’m not
Pants: Really?
Ginger pubes: i’m 20
Siren: close enough I suppose
Phoenix: holy shit
Phoenix: bros name is childe and hes literally a child
Ginger pubes: kys
Robots: WHOAAA
Scaraboobs: calm down jamal
Phoenix: don’t pull ou the nine
Ginger pubes: I fucking
Ginger pubes: 3QGOEHFOQU
Robots: bro you good
Ginger pubes: when am I ever?
Pants: Bro’s emo
Phoenix: shit bro
Phoenix: get me away from him
Robots: thats an illness I never wanna get
Ginger pubes is offline
Borderline pedo: bro dipped
Borderline pedo: plus I wasn’t hitting on him the fuck
Scaraboobs: than what the fuck were you doing
Borderline pedo: I was just
Scaraboobs: exactlyy
Scaraboobs: an you wonder hwy your name is how ti is
Siren: i knew i was a fucking genius
Guard dog: Not a good thing to be a genius about babe
Phoenix: BABES???@??!?!?!?!
Guard dog: Yea?
Scaraboobs: you owe me bitch
Phoenix: FUCK
Pants: Wait hold on
Pants had changed the chat name to ‘Fatui homobingers’
Robots: aren’t you creative
Old man: Archons above
Old man: My hairs gonna go grey
Scaraboobs: ummm
Borderline pedo: So whos telling him
Pants: Pierro
Pants: Your hairs been gray for years
Old man: …
Old man: fuck
Siren: holy shit
Captin: I-
Captin: Bro what
Pants: Do we need to call a doctor?
Borderline pedo: I’m right here?
Pants: I meant a normal one fuckass
Borderline pedo: I am normal?
Phoenix: have you looked in the mirror
Phoenix: bc the bitch that loos at me isn’t normal
Old man: I just swore?
Scaraboobs: and it never happens
Scaraboobs: hence why they’re shocked
Old man: You’re all children
Siren: sorry dad
Old man: Dont fuckigbhive
Siren: ?
Pants: He’s crying
Guard dog: why?
Pants: Dunno
Captin: Dear god
Captin: He really is
Pants: Do yo unot believe me?
Captain: Would you like me to answer that?
Pants: No
Phoenix: go flirst somewhere else
Pants: We’re not flirting???
Scaraboobs: might as well be
Captin: The fuck?
Scaraboobs and Phoenix are offline
Robots: you two are insufferable
Robots: I’m going to sleep
Borderline pedo: As am I
Robots: fucking creep
Robots and Borderline pedo are offline
Pants: Just us?
Captin: Yes?
Old man: SHE CALLE ME DADEWHOG
Captin: Or not
Pants: Oh god
Captin: Fucks sake
Old man: BEST DYA FO TLMY LFIE
Pants: Welp
Captin: This is our problem now, isn’t it
Pants: I think so
Pants: This is not what I signed up for
Captin: Same here buddy
Captin: Same here