Work Text:
Kiyoomi's POV:
It's cold here... But I stopped caring for a long time, I let the wind blow my hair that was covering my eyes which looked emotionless, I feel nauseous all of a sudden.
I was about to fall but I leaned on the wall so I could regain my balance, I look down at my skinny body, "Pathetic..." I don't even remember the last time I ate but I know it's been days since I pass out more often even if Komori tried convincing me to take care of myself.
I was wearing only shorts and a black hoodie despite it being cold outside, I continued walking with my cold hands in my pockets and as I was looking down at the ground and my feet, I didn't notice someone in front of me so I bumped into him and stumbled back, "Woah dude, look in front of you!"
The brown-haired man who was older than me exclaimed with an angry expression that quickly faded away when I looked directly at his eyes, "Just- Pay attention next time, kid..." He walked away but I already saw the scared and concerned face he made, I sighed and continued walking...
It probably was the bags under my red and puffy eyes, my skinny and crouched figure, or even my lifeless look, but I don't care anymore, why would I care about how I looked if he wasn't there?
{ "How do ya do yer hair? It's so good!"}
I suddenly stopped when I heard small whimpers that seemed like an animal's, I was about to ignore it when it stopped but I heard it again as soon as I moved, I gave up and wanted to know where it was coming from for some reason, the voice sounded similar to what I hear at night in my dreams, bad ones... Cries, whimpers of pain, cars, screams, horns, I was used to it all by now.
I could hear the whimpers of pain and sadness coming from a small box on the side of the road, I looked around not seeing anyone, the city was completely silent at this point except for some people who like to walk at night, it was 2 am but I still don't feel like sleeping, I slowly went to the box then opened it shakingly, I just noticed that my hands were so slim...
"..." When I opened the box, a ball of fluff looked up at me with its honey eyes that sparkled when seeing me, it was a male, his long ears and fluffy tail stiffened, his yellow fur was so soft when I touched him, it was a baby fox, I felt like my heart broke again from the sight...
{ "Ya have to take care of animals Omi! They're cute!"}
I pat his head and the animal immediately snuggled into my cold hand, he was warm despite the box freezing in the middle of the road, I gently carried him and put him in the pocket of my hoodie planning to get him "home" with me, I walked into the dark and cold house, the same house that used to feel warm, welcoming and alive...
I went to the kitchen in the dark but only turned it on just for the fox, I was looking for something to give him but the fridge was almost empty, I looked at a can in the far back, "Fatty tuna?" I opened it and gave it to him with some water, I watched him eat it hungrily and quickly, this made me smile for the first time in years, he looked at me when he finished like he was pleading for more with his puppy eyes that killed me from cuteness... That's familiar.
{ "Pleeeease just another one!"}
"After I wash you" I say as he pouted? He looked like he was pouting just like a human but I ignored it since I'm out of my mind, I brought him to the bath and prepared it for him, I was heating the water when I glanced at him rolling on the floor wrapped in a pile of towels, why am I even doing this...
{ "Yer scared of a cat?! She just likes ya!"}
I slowly put him in the tub and to my surprise, he swam around happily squealing, "Foxes like water this much?" It was weird but I kept ignoring it, I got him out after washing him and then dried the fox, his color was much clearer when he was clean, a light blond color.
It was now 4 am and I was laying in my bed in the dark looking at the ceiling that seemed more interesting than sleeping, the yellow fox was snuggling to me curled up in a small ball sleeping, I reached for my phone and searched up foxes stages in life so I compared the fox to the ones on the pictures and the closest he resembles is a 2-year-old fox.
... 2 years? ...
I shook my head and put the phone beside me then closed my eyes to not cry my eyes out again, I just did this morning... "2 years..." Hot tears couldn't stop coming out of my eyes, pouring down my cheeks, as I was about to wipe them off with my hoodie sleeves, I felt a lick on my cheek.
From surprise, I flinched and quickly looked to my side seeing the fox licking my tears off, he looked at me and gave me his biggest puppy eyes making me soft, "What's wrong?" I asked him despite knowing that I'm talking to an animal who can't respond or understand me, I'm going insane.
But to my shock, the fox shook his head quickly then licked my tears again, "You- You don't want me to cry?" He nodded, what the fuck is happening...
"Can you understand me?" He nodded once again, I was shocked and didn't know what to do so I just put him on my chest again looking at his eyes that were shining in the dark, "Tsu..." I don't know why I said that but the fox seemed happy when I called him this.
"You like Tsu?" He nodded so I chuckled which made him happier, he got closer to me and before I knew it, he connected our noses and I felt myself get back in time like I was hit by electricity, I remember this...
{ "Hahaha! Stop tickling me!}
My head hurts... Suddenly, I felt so dizzy, I want to sleep, I'm tired, what was happening?
Comfort... I felt so safe and happy with Tsu, I closed my eyes enjoying this moment with my fox, way too familiar...
"Is it you?..." I whispered not expecting to get an answer but, he slightly nodded and jumped at me so I started freaking out but before I even made a reaction, I blacked out immediately...
...
I woke up to the warm sun hitting my face, "What time is it?..." I groaned not wanting to get up like every day, but I have to, I was just repeating this infinite cycle that I still can't get used to, cry my eyes out, don't eat, don't talk to anyone, visit him, go back home, don't sleep until you black out... Over and over again.
"... Tsu? Tsu?!" I jumped from my place as soon as I noticed the fox wasn't beside me and quickly got up from my bed, "Tsu!" I ran around the house like I didn't for a long time, luckily I looked on the couch, and there he was, just lying looking at me with his big honey eyes, "You scared the fuck out of me..."
I went to go sit next to him and he quickly jumped on my lap snuggling to me, "I need to go to practice, Tsu..." I felt a sad smile form on my face, I didn't want to leave him alone, he'll feel so lonely, why am I caring so much?
{ "5 more minutes pleaaase!~"}
He gave me his puppy eyes again, how could I just leave him alone? "Just a little bit, ok?" He nodded and snuggled closer as he heard me, I ignored it and closed my eyes from exhaustion and fell asleep quickly...
...
"What time is it?" I woke up to Tsu rolling around on my lap, I chuckled at the sight and turned on my phone to see that it was 6 pm, I got up to the kitchen to give him something so he wouldn't starve, "Do I still have something?" nothing... Guess I should go get groceries for him, I saw his confused expression as I walked directly to the door as I was already dressed, "I'll come back quickly, Tsu"
{" Take me with you!!!" }
Tsu clung to my leg tightly not planning to let go any time soon, "..." I sighed and didn't think about it before I snatched him and put him inside my team's jacket, "Don't make a noise and I'll take you" his eyes sparkled and he peaked a little to see where we are going which made me smile...
"Fatty tuna..." I looked down trying not to remember it again, "Fuck..." My eyes began to water but I wiped them before the tears began to fall, not here...
Tsu suddenly jumped in front of me to the store fridge, I freaked out and tried to get him off so no one could see him but he kept going back beside the fatty tuna, "Tsu?..." Maybe he wants it? I hesitantly grabbed some of them and noticed his eyes sparkle with happiness.
I smiled when he got back inside the jacket and went to the cashier to scan what I bought with the tuna, the woman looked at me weirdly for some reason then quickly looked down again.
Maybe it was that I looked messed up, or she knew me from those volleyball magazines that I noticed were open on the counter next to her so she probably knew what happened in the team and didn't want to say anything out of pity.
Hold on... The team!
I forgot that I had practice today damn it... I got all my groceries and fast-walked to my house, the fox seemed confused about my sudden rush, as soon as I got there I put all my stuff down and tried calling someone on the phone, it rang two times before he answered...
"Sakusa-san? Is there something?" I heard my captain say which weirded me out, "I'm sorry for not coming to practice I- I fell asleep and forgot about it, I'm so-"
"Woah Woah- Calm down it's ok!" He cut me off before I started to freak out, "..."
"I'm happy to hear that you slept again, practice isn't obligatory for you anyways so do whatever you feel like doing, you should tell this your cousin, I'm sure he'll be happy for you too!" I can feel his genuine care for me, god I made everyone worried...
"Thank you... And yeah I'll tell him" I hang up after we talked about practice things and we said our goodbyes, he acts like a dad, I'm still not used to it that much but it feels nice, I saw Tsu asleep next to me so I trailed my hand to scratch his head, I heard him purring then jump on my lap after some minutes, "I should call Komori..."
...
"Cuz are you ok?! You never call- Did something happen!?" I knew he would panic if I called first for 2 years as he's who usually calls to make sure I'm taking care of myself to which I don't answer or lie to him.
"Chill damn- Captain told me to tell you this" He went quiet waiting for me to finish, "... I forgot about practice cuz I... I slept the whole time" I heard the silence at first and then checked if the call ended but it was not, I was about to call him when a voice interrupted me.
"AAAAAAA OMG CUZ IM SO PROUD OF YOU" I felt myself smile without noticing, maybe that's why he's my favorite cousin, after all, I knew he was smiling too by the way he was yelling with excitement, he's the best friend anyone would ask for...
...
I hang up after a bit of talking, I'm still not used to talking to someone for that long... Tsu was still sleeping so I slowly carried him to my room so he wouldn't wake up, I laid him on the bed and went to shower again.
When I got out the fox was awake and quickly looked at me, "Were you waiting for me, Tsu?~" I slightly smiled and laid next to him, he nodded and got on top of me, I'm not even surprised...
{ "I couldn't sleep~"}
I looked at him as he was licking my nose, "Where did you come from?" He looked at me confused, I don't blame him, "I mean... A fox who understands me couldn't be found everywhere, and you resemble someone on a crazy level but I wouldn't know... I think I should bring you to a vet or something tomorrow" And like that, I slept...
...
Midnight:
I was in the waiting room of an expensive vet I found next to the place that the fox was first at hoping that he was born there, the veteran told me the fox was born there but his mother was already adopted, the owner who adopted Tsu left him there for some reason, so I asked for his information, I can't help but worry for my fox, is he safe? Did they do something to him? Stop overthinking...
"Sir Sakusa?" I heard one of the veterans call me so I quickly went to her, "Here's your fox, We'll send you the information you asked for right away"
"Thanks" I took Tsu from her and walked out of there as I couldn't stand the germs there, I got in my car and opened my messages to see the message from the vet, I opened it after I gave him something to eat, I started reading the important things.
"A huge circle-shaped scar on his left side that seems to form because of a strong fast hit... Wait what?" I quickly looked at Tsu and held him up to see it through the fur, "Really... How did I not notice that..." He hissed from pain when I touched it, "That's too familiar..." I felt my eyes water as I hugged him.
"Fox was born the 31 July 2020, at 8:31 pm" I started crying again, "Fuck! Not again! I knew it Tsu" I quickly put on my seatbelt and drove away not caring about anything, hot tears spilling from his eyes, he didn't even know where he was driving but suddenly found himself in front of the graveyard next to the gym.
I got out with Tsu and locked the car then ran inside to the far back without stopping until I saw the last grave, I fell on my knees from tiredness and to catch my breath, I didn't run like that for a long time and I didn't want to do it again...
Tsu suddenly jumped on the grave in front of me, the same grave I was sleeping beside for more than a year, numerous flowers were on it that I changed every 3 days, and the tears just got heavier when I saw the name written on it.
Everything came back to me... The accident... The cars... The screaming... I'm sorry... I couldn't save you... It's my fault... I love you!... I'll always love you... Why you... I want to die...
"ATSUMU"
The fox was also tearing up, he jumped on me, the sounds of horns filled my head, and some people were screaming my name to stop.
{ "I LOVE YA KIYOOMI"}
...
I woke up beside the grave as if nothing happened, I look around, the sky is completely dark and I can't even see myself, "Hmm" Something is missing...
"TSU" I got up trying to search for him or hear him, "Tsu! Tsu where are you!?" I'm scared, he's the only thing keeping me alive now, I can't live without him, I fast walked out of the graveyard not caring about if I fall cuz the only important thing now is my fox...
I kept walking until I found people, traffic, blinding lights, screams, and fights, I kept looking around to find my Tsu, I feel nauseous but I can't stop now, I don't remember when I last ate something...
From the corner of my eye, I saw blond fur so I quickly turned to see it, l looked around and surely he was there, running from people, I ran through the crowd behind him hearing them yell at me or complain and brush it off because I looked crazy, I made my way between the people standing at the red light waiting to cross the street, "Tsu? Tsu..."
He was in the middle of the road curled up in himself as he was scared by everything, the drivers definitely wouldn't see him until it'll be already late, "Not again... I can't lose you again my love"
The people were just standing watching like it was some kind of movie, cruel fucks, cruel world... Cars were speeding up right around Tsu and he began crying, I remember it clearly...
31 July 2020, 8 am:
The day of our anniversary...
"You can do it cuz! I believe in you!" Said Komori making me laugh, "I know... I'm so happy I could finally claim him mine after our 6-year relationship~ And I'm not worried about Atsumu saying no cuz we talked about marriage multiple times and he seemed happy" I kept looking at the ring I customized just for him smiling thinking of how we would look as family... I can't wait!
"And you're sure happy! It's hard to make you smile like that~" He smirked, "What should I say? People change~"
...
5 minutes later I was already in front of the restaurant waiting for my future fiance who was on his way, that thought made me smile, suddenly I got a call from Atsu, "Omi!" He called my name as soon as I weirdly accepted the call, he seemed scared for some reason.
"Are you alright, babe?"
"I- I think someone is followin' me... A man was behind me for almost 15 minutes and every time I turn around he stops walking, I'm headin' to a crowded place like ya told me!" I noticed his breathing became faster so I tried to calm him down.
"Where are you now? I'll come to get you!"
"2 minutes away from the restaurant! At street XXXX" I ran to the place before he could finish, I kept looking around to find the familiar blond hair between all these people, I was about to talk to Atsumu but he suddenly hang up without saying anything, "GET AWAY!"
I turned so fast to the voice I knew so well, "Atsumu!" I don't think he heard me as the man got closer to him and was about to catch him when he ran away to the road, cars were passing him so fast... My anxiety is getting worse... He kept running to not get hit by any car when he saw me... The light finally turned green and as he was about to cross the road a car came out of nowhere and was about to hit him...
"ATSUMU"
Atsumu was crying as he knew what was about to happen to him, he knew he couldn't stop it now... He smiled weakly at me like nothing was happening around him but his eyes showed more than just pain and screamed...
"I LOVE YA KIYOOMI!"
...
I was sitting beside Osamu at his funeral, I want to die... Suna was trying to calm his boyfriend without any result and crying at the same time, the whole team was here and people we knew from high school... I want to follow him... I didn't say anything from the second I came here, my cousin was beside me not wanting to anger me...
The love of my life just died in front of me and I couldn't do anything, I'm useless... I should die...
...
The death report was in my hand...
Atsumu Miya
XXXX - 2020
Date and time of death: 31 July 2020, 8:30 pm
Cause of death: Car accident caused by an intoxicated driver
Last words: I love ya Kiyoomi!.
...
Present time:
Not again... I can't let my love die alone again...
"TSU" I ran not caring about anything around me, the cars don't scare me anymore, "I'll follow you, my love!" It was already too late for me to back away as I hugged Tsu, I can see a car coming my way from far away but quickly was in front of me, "I LOVE YOU ATSUMU" Tsu or Atsumu looked like he was smiling...
{ "I love ya more Omi~"}
"KIYOOMI" That was my cousin for sure, his face showed that he was horrified and scared to the core, I smiled at him without saying anything as the car met my fate...
...
Kiyoomi Sakusa
XXXX - 2022
Date and time of death: 30 June 2022, 3 am
Cause of death: Car accident
Last words: I love you Atsumu!
...
End~