Chapter Text
Zuko always thought the parents that celebrated every time their kid made it another month were being unneccesary. After all, it’s not like a one-month is going to remember the fact that they’re a month-old anyway.
Until he had his own and realized just how important and big even the smallest milestones are.
Jia is nine and a half pounds now, getting chunkier by the day, moves her head from side to side while laying on her stomach (tummy time was quickly becoming a family favorite with all of them sprawled out on the rug in the nursery or living room together), turns at the sound of familiar voices, and recognizes the smell of Katara’s breastmilk. She also likes to put her hand near her mouth, constantly gumming at the soft flesh of her own skin and drooling all over her digits.
She was happy, healthy, and according to her pediatrician, recommended by Dr. Lee herself, right on track with where she needs to be. It makes him feel good to hear that, knowing he has a part in it.
Zuko and Katara have experienced milestones as well.
Financially, a simple stroke of his luck - his birthright, assured that he had could easily provide for a child without ever second-guessing about it. In that regard, he considered himself grateful that there was never an issue of 'How can I afford this?' that accompanies many new parents. It was one less thing to stress and worry about.
But, even without that added complication, fatherhood is taking a toll on him – he can’t remember the last time he got a full night of sleep, waking, and staying up with Katara while she nurses even after she tells him it’s okay for him to go back to bed, the days were starting to blur together, and if he neglected the razor for a day or two, the five o’clock shadow already started to morph into a beard, making him look 10 years older. On top of that, his hair is so long now, he has to keep it in a topknot or one of the braided styles his Water Tribe girlfriend wears, or else, Jia, with her newfound motor skills, will yank on it, clutching the strands in tight fists that are nearly impossible to unravel. Her strength was fascinating and slightly terrifying – she was already giving him hell and couldn’t walk nor talk yet.
Katara had reached the point where she told him to stop complimenting her because “I know I look like shit” with heavy eyes, messy hair, and teetering closer and closer to rage, a clear indicator that the lack of sleep was getting to her. He was trying to make sure she ate enough to make up for all the calories she burned nursing and be there for her but it’s like the thought of him even being around her was off-putting and overwhelming.
Becoming parents completely changed their relationship. They were experts at tending to each other’s needs as friends, quickly adapted as boyfriend and girlfriend, but parenting came with newfound desires and needs. It changed their routine.
Katara was starting to become “touched out.” It was a common sensation that consisted of not wanting physical intimacy. They went from sleeping closely together to Katara recoiling at his touch as if it burned and huffing in annoyance (“What do I have to do to get some alone time around here?”).
He knew it was beyond her control. Really, after having a baby attached to a part of your body for much of the day, the last thing you want is your needy boyfriend trying to cop a feel too, but he felt helpless – he didn’t know what to do.
This growing rift between them led to another milestone, although unpleasant - their first major fight since becoming parents.
Zuko jolted awake at 7 am sharp to a piercing cry. Besides him, Katara stirred in her sleep, already going to pull a strap of her top down semi-consciously when he grabbed her hand to stop her. “Go back to sleep.” He whispers softly against her skin. “I got it.”
She hummed in response, rolling onto her side and Zuko quickly maneuvered out of the bed, stumbling over to the bassinet, his own feet heavy from lingering exhaustion. He rubs his face. “Okay, okay, I’m here.” Then, he scoops Jia up in his arms, tucking her in the crook of his arm against his bare chest. “Shhh, daddy’s got you.” He brushes his nose against hers in a traditional Water Tribe kiss Katara taught him, her cry turning into a soft whimper. Bouncing her, he makes his way out of the room. “I know you’re hungry but mommy needs a break so how about a bottle for breakfast, today? It’s the same taste, I promise.”
Zuko waits for it to warm up and even though the machine kept it a baby-safe temperature, he still dabs some on his wrist first to make sure it’s not too hot. He cried when she got her shots at her one-month checkup, knowing it was for her own health but still unable to stomach that she was hurting and there was nothing he could do about it. They snuggled together when they got home, her sound asleep in his arms, safe and comforted by his warmth. He was bracing himself for it to happen all over again at the 2-months checkup – he wouldn’t be able to deal with her being scalded by the stupid, evil milk.
This time, there’s no fussing when he gives her the bottle, and she drinks all of it, hiccupping when she’s done. Zuko holds her from her belly and pats her on the back lightly. Jia gurgles and he smiles. She was perfectly stretched out along his forearm. “That was a big one. You were really hungry, weren’t you?”
“What are you doing?”
Zuko’s head snaps up at the sound of Katara’s voice. He blinks. “Erhm…feeding our daughter?”
“With that bottle? No!” She walks over, grabs it, and sighs as she looks over the label. “I just made this one last night!” She accosts, exasperated.
“So that means it’s fresh.”
Katara scowls. “There are some in there that are going to spoil soon. Why didn’t you use those? Did you even check? What’s the point of labeling them if you’re just going to grab whichever one you see first anyway?”
Zuko looks back down and is relieved to see she’s asleep, her mouth slightly open in true Katara fashion. He could never sleep through his parents arguing even when he tried to. “Excuse me for caring more about feeding our child than what I’m feeding her with. I don’t see the big deal. She stopped crying, she’s full now, and she’s asleep. She’s not just your kid, you know. She’s mine too.”
She scoffs, crossing her arms over her chest. “Oh, please, you didn’t do nearly as much work.”
He sighs, rolling his eyes. They argued before and he never wanted to dismiss her feelings, but this just seemed silly and, in his sleep-deprived state, he can’t rationally wrap his head around it. It seemed like there was something else bothering her that was deeper than a fresh bottle being used before a two-day-old one. There’d be other feedings throughout the day – it’s not like it was going to go to waste.
“What’s really up with you?”
When she doesn’t respond, he walks towards her. He takes Jia’s hand and waves it, putting on a soft, girlish voice as if she’s talking. “Come on, mama, let us help you.”
Katara's bottom lip juts out and her face crumples as she chokes out a sob. “My nipples are so cracked; it hurts to pump and nurse. The thought of having to do so again because there’s not enough supply already in the fridge makes me angry and then I feel bad because I have to feed her, she’s my kid, my baby, but I’m in so much pain – I think I might have mastitis, it’s not fun, I’m not enjoying it, and it makes feel like I’m a bad mom.”
"Hey, you are not a bad mom. You’re a great mom. It’s okay to not be okay even when you’re a mom.” He recalls his mother telling him Katara might need to hear that from time to time, saying that mothers were expected to be perfect as if they're not their own person too. He kisses her forehead. “Why didn’t you tell me you weren't feeling well?”
Mastitis was inflammation of breast tissue, a common issue when you're nursing. It lead to painful swelling, fever, and chills. The worst part about it was the main thing that was uncomfortable, helped ease the symptoms. It's why she kept pushing through the pain - she had a feeling she wasn't completely empty which led to a blocked milk duct. The only way to clear it was to keep nursing.
She shrugs. “I didn’t want to feel like I’m doing something wrong. When I pretend everything is fine, I don’t feel so shitty about not liking this right now.” She sniffles. "Everyone says motherhood is the best time of your life and my mom always made it look so easy." She looks down, staring at Jia's head. "I guess in retrospect, she had something that made it all worth it."
“I want you to take the day off.”
Katara blinks.
“What?”
“Get back in the bed, I’ll cook breakfast, and bring you some ibuprofen for the pain. You need to rest." He squeezes her waist. “I’m a little offended but I know you need some space from me too so I'm sure the little one and I can find something to get into.” He laughs. "She really likes that cartoon with the talking turtleduck and singing narwhal."
"Oh, the one with the fairytales and nursery rhymes? That's a good one." She shakes her head. "I can't believe it's still on. I watched that when I was a kid."
He snorts. "Me too. I think it's a staple in every Four Nations' kid's childhood."
Katara smiles. “I’m sorry for being a brat.”
“Apology accepted.”
They got so caught up in being mommy and daddy, they were forgetting to check in with each other as Katara and Zuko too.