Chapter Text
“Hey Tommy,” the disembodied voice greets him.
“Hm?” Thomas hummed around a sip of tea. Black, just like his soul.
“Tommy,” the tone turned annoyed.
“Hmmmm?” Tommy drew out.
“Why is Japan on fire?”
Now that made Tommy paused, “What are you talking about, Lia?”
“Oh my god,” someone in the background groans, and Tommy frowns.
“Is that Ella? I thought she and Cassidy were taking a holiday in New York?”
“Nah Cassidy’s met up with Tristan in Canada,” Ella shoots down.
“The hell is Tristan doing there?” Tommy muttered.
“Well, Damon and Luke met up a few years ago, so Tristan went off to tour Europe. Tommy, I told you this last year!”
“I was half asleep last year!” Tommy almost shouted.
“The whole fucking year???”
“Anyway,” Lia interjected, “The point is that Japan. Is. On. Fire.”
“So?” Tommy made an indignant sound, “How is that my problem?l”
“Dude, remember? The UFO you were supposed to be looking out for?” Ella sounded exasperated and Tommy went silent for a moment.
“…oops?” He managed to scramble out.
“Are you kidding me, Tom?!” Ella shouts.
“I’m sorry! Look, Jamie’s in Japan right now, right? I’ll just call in a favour—”
“He went off the grid a decade ago, Tommy. Said something about Arizonian forests. Have you even listened to me at all for the last two decades?!”
“So THAT’S why there hasn’t been any very worrisomely specific death threats lately,” Tommy mutters, ignoring her accusation.
“TOMMY, I SWEAR TO GOD—“
Tommy winces, holding his phone a good arm’s length away, Lia chewing him out loudly.
“Look,” he starts when their tirade finally wears off. “If Cassidy and Tristan are together, then can’t Alfred just… jump them over? The files are in the tunnels, right?”
“Tim, why the hell are you asking us?” Stella grumbled, “You’re the one who’s supposed to have a plan.”
“You told Cass to tell the Dick that you’re playing the mastermind, didn’t you.”
“What? No, pfft, why would you say that?”
“Uhh let me see here,” Tommy says, opening his computer up and bringing up The Tunnel System to look for the file. “Here, at the top, it say: Stephanie Brown’s Thirteen Steps To World Domination aka Plan UFO.”
“In my defence, it’s been like that for the last half a decade. Not my fault if you never saw it,” Stella grumbled.
Tommy made an affronted sound.
“She has a point,” Lia helpfully adds.
Tommy grumbles, “Says you.”
“What was that?” Lia replied, voice dripping with honey.
“Nothing!” Tommy squeaked out, quickly hanging up.
He lets out a breath.
“Fuck.”
And then,
“At least I have my trusty tea.”
He knocks it over.
“FUCK! THIS IS WHY COFFEE IS SUPERIOR!”
The tea start to soak up into some papers he had lying on the table.
“No no no no— I take it back, I take it back! I’m sorry!”