Chapter Text
The Goddess Who Loathed Me
By: tweety-src-clt9
Chapter Three
Colin Bridgerton woke up feeling a bit groggy. He had a very long day yesterday. It wasn’t a bad day. Not at all. In fact, yesterday was one of the best days of his life. From getting up early since he’s anxious for their wedding, to the actual ceremony, the celebrations and then their arrival at Bloomsbury, so much had happened yesterday. And then of course, there was his supposed wedding night.
“Penelope,” he sighed dreamily. He had a very vivid dream last night… Or was it a fantasy? His goddess of a wife left him hanging with his blood burning in desire that he spent the night imagining of the things he wanted to do to her in his bed. He already had a glimpse of her moans, her face as she shivered in completion, and her taste. It was all so intoxicatingly frustrating. So, his imaginings as he touched himself seemed so surreal that it was no surprise he passed out, still dreaming about the innocently beguiling goddess next door.
He glanced at the window and despite the lush curtains, it was clear that the sun was already shining brightly outside. He sat on the bed and stretched. Standing up, he grabbed a robe to cover himself as he walked towards the adjacent door.
He tapped the door with a gentle knock.
“Pen?” he called out but there was no sound. So, he tried again. Still, there was no answer. Feeling worried, he tried turning the doorknob and to his surprise it was no longer locked. He opened the door and the only thing he could see was that Penelope’s bed was already made. It’s as if the sheets and the pillows haven’t been slept in.
He exited her room and hurriedly put on some day clothes, just a pair of breeches and a white shirt. He needed to find his wife. He was scared she was off to do some Lady Whistledown business on her own once more. It just wasn’t safe given the money hungry hounds all out to unravel her secret.
He ran down the stairs and he nearly bumped into Dunwoody on his way. The old butler was startled at his sudden appearance. He surely gave the kind man a fright.
“Mr. Bridgerton, sir! Is everything alright?”
“Did Pen – have you seen Mrs. Bridgerton?” he inquired. He didn’t want to sound rude, but he truly must follow Penelope in case she pulled a risky stunt once more.
“Oh! Mrs. Bridgerton is in the kitchen, sir. She woke up really early. A morning person she seems to be,” Dunwoody said with a chuckle.
He sighed in relief. “I thought she went to visit the park or something. Mrs. Bridgerton loves to go on excursions,” he fibbed.
“It seems you are well-matched, sir,” Dunwoody said with a knowing glint in his eyes. The man had been in service to the Bridgerton family for many years and was assigned by his mother to be his valet once he was back in London. So, it was an easy decision to have Dunwoody be their butler now that he was married.
“Indeed. She really is something isn’t she?” he said with a soft smile that he’s always associated with thoughts of Penelope.
“I am happy to see you settled, sir.”
“Thank you, Dunwoody. You’re a good man,” he said with a big grin.
“Should I get a bath set for you, sir? Mrs. Bridgerton is rather occupied as of the moment.”
“Yes, please do, Dunwoody… I’ll just greet my wife first,” he happily clapped the man’s back in a friendly gesture as he dashed towards the kitchen.
He expected Penelope to share a happy chat with the cook about menus and her preferences in food to be served throughout the day. However, what he didn’t expect was to find his wife bent down, her face clearly focused on the oven as she was humming a jolly melody.
He gulped as he watched Penelope’s derriere at this angle, her skirts hiking up a little from her position. Trying to clear his thoughts of his carnal fantasies just from staring at his wife, he eyed the kitchen once more. To his surprise, there was no cook in sight.
He cleared his throat to announce his presence.
“Oh!” he heard his wife squeak.
Penelope stood straight as she turned around to face him. She looked so adorable with flour on her nose as her cheeks burned. Her hair was bunched up in a quick bun and she was clad in a simple mint green day dress.
“Colin! I didn’t know you were awake!” she exclaimed as she fidgeted with the spatula in her hand.
“Good morning, agapi mou.”
“Hello… good morning,” she greeted with a shy smile.
“You seem busy this fine morning,” he grinned.
“I – I didn’t know you’re up already. When I checked – “
“You visited my chamber?” he wiggled his eyebrows playfully. He was being an annoying little shit again, but he just couldn’t help it. He loved seeing her all huffy and flustered.
“I wanted to consult something with you but I – you were asleep and I didn’t want to disturb you and… I’m sorry, Col,” she mumbled as she looked at the floor, her fingers were playing with her skirt that was covered with an apron.
He couldn’t help it. She just looked so adorable and beautiful… She was just so precious, just like the little girl he met so many years ago. He stepped closer to her and he bent a little as he kissed the flour off her nose.
“Col! Stop!” Penelope giggled. She had always been rather ticklish, especially on the nose area.
When he pulled away, her eyes widened as she looked at him. “Oh my! There’s flour on your lip! There’s flour on my nose, is there?” she said with a pout.
God! She’s so adorable! I just cannot help myself around this woman.
He settled with pinching her cheeks lovingly. “Pray tell me, wife, what is it that you wanted to tell me that you had to unlock our sacred adjacent door?”
“I think you’ll get mad because I didn’t consult with you,” she looked so sheepish and shy that he just couldn’t help but kiss her nose once again.
“I could never be mad at you for some silly thing, vida. So, tell me, what has my adorable wife been up to?”
“Our cook, her daughter is sick… So, I told her she could take the days off until her daughter gets better. I also said we would still pay her even if she’s out for a few days. I can pay for it from my, you know,” she gave him a look that seemed to indicate Lady Whistledown.
“Oh darling, I am not angry. How could I be? You did the right thing. And no… You don’t need to pay for it, we’re fine. Is that all?” he eyed the kitchen, and he sniffed the heavenly aroma of pastry and what clearly smelt like bacon, eggs, and many other things.
“I hope you’re not mad that I made the decision.”
“Oh, Pen! Of course not! We’re equals in this relationship, alright maybe you got the upper hand,” he half-joked and she snorted.
“Oh! I think it’s time! Do excuse me,” she ran back to the oven to check whatever it was she was cooking.
He eyed the beginnings of what clearly would be an excellent feast when he saw something that made his mouth water. It was his favorite pastry all hot and fresh from the oven beside it were some sliced strawberries and a bowl of cream.
“Oh my! Is that?!” he felt like a giddy little boy about to open his birthday presents.
“Did I do something wrong?” Pen turned to him again, a tray of perfectly golden and freshly baked brioche on it.
“Pen!” he had a shit-eating grin on his face as he pointed at the ingredients of his favorite pastry.
“I made strawberry and cream eclairs,” his wife said coyly as she placed the tray of brioche on the kitchen table.
“No! You didn’t!” he was alternately looking at his beautiful wife and the delicious looking pastry she made.
“Maybe,” she said with a chuckle.
“Is that why there’s some flour on your cute little nose?” he leaned forward so he could playfully pinch her nose and she swatted his hand away.
“No eclairs if you keep teasing me,” she playfully scolded.
“I’m the luckiest husband ever!”
His goddess only stuck her tongue out at him, and it reminded him of the easy happy days of their childhood. Penelope now walked towards the bunch of eclairs that only needed to be dressed in the strawberries and cream.
“Can I help you with anything?” he offered.
“Can you cook?” she asked with an eyebrow raised.
“I can eat,” he winked, and she rolled her eyes.
“You can take a bath first and then have breakfast afterward,” she suggested.
“Can I at least try one éclair?” he pouted as he gave her his best puppy eyes that always worked on his mother when he was trying to escape punishment.
“Alright… just one and then you go for a bath,” she said as she began to construct an éclair for him. He watched as she carefully lathered cream on the pastry and placed fresh strawberries in between it. It was soothing to watch her cook. It’s like she was playing house with him and Eloise when they were children once again. This time though, the food is not make believe. The food was all carefully and lovingly prepared by Penelope.
He watched as she was biting her bottom lip, concentrating on the construction of the éclair, making sure that everything was perfect. He just couldn’t help it. He needed to wrap her up in his arms.
She was so busy with her work that she gasped when he wrapped an arm around her waist, his chin tucking her head under it. He took a deep breath, inhaling her scent along with the wafting smell of pastry, strawberries, cream, and other foods. He loved her even more for doing all of this. For caring for their cook. For wanting to make him happy by feeding him.
“You really are something, Pen,” he whispered as he reveled in this moment of just being here. With her in his arms, on the morning after the wedding.
“Col! Stop! Don’t hug me, I smell like food… It’s weird,” he heard the embarrassment in her voice. He reluctantly let her go but he stood close so he could watch her work.
He just couldn’t resist saying, “Food and my Pen, no better combination,” he winked playfully. Indeed, it was. If he were to describe heaven it would be Penelope happily feeding him and they’d share laughs and hugs. Her presence always calmed him. It was soothing spending time with her because he never had to pretend to be another person. She just understood him at a deeper level no one else would. And that’s the reason why, when she cut him off her life three years ago, it hurt him so much. It was like losing an anchor because that’s who she was to him.
And now, standing here, watching her cook… He just couldn’t believe his luck.
“Here you go… I hope you enjoy them,” she grinned as she handed her a piece of his most favorite pastry. In his travels, he tasted all sorts of food. Lots of them were even tastier than the humble éclair. But to him, the éclair would always be his favorite because it reminded him of Penelope. It was the first treat they shared together as children. It was a treat he would give her when she was upset after Cressida made fun of her in the park. He’d always associated eclairs with Penelope because it was a special part in their friendship.
“Thank you, Pen,” he smiled brightly. He truly felt honored, humbled even, to have this chance to regain her friendship – her love. The éclair she made looked absolutely delicious. The pastry perfectly cooked, the cream silky, and the strawberries juicy.
He took one big bite, and he closed his eyes to savor this moment.
And indeed, it was magic.
Just like her writing, Penelope’s cooking was also utterly amazing.
“Well?” he opened his eyes to see her fidgeting and anxious for his reaction and his eyes softened. Penelope always second guessed herself, always insecure because of how her mother and her sisters treated her like an outcast. And then, the ton treated her worse. How could an angel be so heart broken so many times? How could this angel not see herself as what she really is?
“It’s like being in France. This is French patisserie magic, Tesoro. I am in love!” he gushed, and he meant it.
“Really?” her eyes widened as she smiled brightly.
“Really,” he nodded and then without shame, he attacked the rest of his treat making his wife giggle.
He was about to grab another one when Penelope glared at him. “Bath first and then come down for breakfast. No more eclairs for you!”
“But – but! Pen!” he whined.
“Upstairs!”
“You won’t join me in the bath?” he smirked.
“Colin!” she blushed.
“Sorry, agapi mou. I had to try,” he winked at her before leaving the kitchen to get ready for the day.
After a relaxing bath that truly did kickstart his day making it even brighter, Colin is now happily eating, tasting all the food Penelope labored to prepare just for him. If this was what being married was like, he would have asked for her hand many years ago. He’d never felt happier and more at peace than in this very moment. He wasn’t even that bothered anymore about having to wait for her to be ready to have him in her bed. Just being in Penelope’s presence, basking in her company, it’s utter bliss.
He noticed Penelope coyly eyeing his reaction to all the food she’s cooked. And so, he wanted to ease her nerves. He bloody loved everything she cooked. On the off chance she was bad at cooking, which she absolutely wasn’t, he would still savor every bite because it was his Pen who made it. The fact that she had amazing cooking abilities was just the icing on the cake. He really hit the jackpot in marrying the most adorable, the most brilliant, and the most talented woman in England.
“Pen?”
“Hmm?”
“I love everything you’ve cooked. You’re bloody amazing!”
“Thank you, I’m glad you like them,” she blushed. It was obvious she’s not used to being praised.
“Pen? How did you – “
“How did I learn to cook?” she prodded, and he nodded at that. “Our old cook was such a nice entertaining woman. I used to sit in the kitchen watching her cook, listening to her stories…I’ve always had very good recall so if she makes something, I ask her for the steps. I go to my room and write all the steps she’s mentioned and kept them… I always thought it was a useful skill, cooking. Besides, my older sisters and I weren’t very close, so, our cook kept me company.”
“Writing recipes is different from cooking though,” he remarked.
“I – when my father died, we were drowned in debt. My mother had to dismiss all the staff except our butler, one ladies’ maid, and our footman… I offered to do all the cooking and help out with some of the cleaning, to offload some work for our ladies’ maid and butler… I just tried cooking once, following the recipes in my notes and I… Well, it turned out alright, I guess,” she shrugged.
“Alright? Pen! These are brilliant,” he gestured to the feast in front of him.
Penelope looked away and then she turned to him with a bright grin, “I guess the breakfast feast commemorating Penelope and Colin’s first day of rekindling their friendship is a success then?” He knew she was trying to hide the pain and suffering she’s been through after her father’s death, so he didn’t push her.
“Is that why, you’re you know,” he said gently.
“I wanted to quit after Marina but I had to make money for my family… Doing what I do, it’s the only way I can think of to earn a living that’s discreet and not well – not as risky,” she avoided his eyes again.
“Risky?”
“Some women, well, they sell themselves you know… And I would never judge them or look down on them because I understand. Society – society is very unfair to women… My sisters know nothing about making money, so does my Mama… We’re not a pretty bunch either so marriage was not a guaranteed saving grace for any of us… I had to use my brain,” she sniffed once and then she looked at him with a brave smile on her face.
His heart broke. Years ago, especially when the humiliation was fresh, he would curse Lady Whistledown. He would wish that Lady Whistledown be punished. That she would suffer the way he was humiliated. That she would hurt just like he did whenever gentlemen at the club pointed and whispered about him behind his back.
And now, he felt ashamed. Lady Whistledown has suffered from the consequences of her actions just to save him. And what did he do? Well, one, he wasn’t there when her father died. He was busy galivanting across the world. Lady Whistledown saved him, and he wished her ill years ago. Bile from self-loathing crept up in his gut. He wanted to punch himself. He truly was a git who didn’t deserve this goddess in front of him.
“You – You are amazing, Penelope. I hope you know that… What you did for your family… It’s – I can’t even describe it,” he was in awe of her.
“It’s nothing. Anyone who loves their family will do the same,” she shrugged.
He hated that. He hated that she always put herself down. Why did she have to do that? Why can’t she see how special she truly is? He promised that he would make it his mission every single day to make her see just how precious she truly is. In fact, it was the least he could do. He was the unworthy mortal who managed to more or less trick this goddess to spend the rest of her days with him. He had to prove his worth somehow. He just had to do it. It was heart breaking to see someone so pure and special treat themselves as if they were just ordinary and replaceable things. He would not stand for it! He would make Penelope see herself the way she so deserved. A goddess should own her powers and her beauty, not hide it and make it seem insignificant.
“For what it’s worth, I’m proud of you Penelope Featherington… You’ve given your family so much credit that it’s my pleasure to welcome you into ours,” he said sincerely.
“Thank you, Mr. Bridgerton,” she smiled a little and then there was silence. The rest of their meal was spent in companionable silence. It was calm and easy, a feeling he always had in Penelope’s presence.
This moment right here, as he basked in his wife’s presence reminded him of a time they shared together as children…
Colin Bridgerton was very happy today. Daph, El, and Franny were all with their mother so they could fit and buy new dresses. So, he had Pen all to himself today. He rarely had time to just be with his friend because Eloise or another one of his sisters would drag her away from him. His father was occupying a desk inside the library because he had work to do so he and Pen were in the opposite corner just lounging about.
Penelope was reading a book again and he was just leaning against her. His back was pressed on her much smaller back as he imagined about some travel destination he's only read about. He was whistling a happy tune, well practicing more like, since Ben recently informed him that big boys know how to whistle. So, he kept on practicing.
“Pen?”
“Col?”
“Is your book good?”
“I like it.”
“What’s it about?”
“A rabbit and a turtle.”
“Is it fun?”
“Yes.”
“Pen…”
“Col…”
“Do you want eclairs?”
“Hmm…Okay. Is it strawberry?”
“I think so… I can ask cook if you want?”
“You’re bored, aren’t you?”
“No… I like being quiet with you… When can we play though?”
She giggled. “Maybe after page fifty?”
“How far along is that?” he whined.
“Um… Ten more pages?”
“Are the letters in the book small?”
“Well, no… There are pictures.”
“Yay! You’ll be done soon.”
“I think so,” she giggled again, and it made him happy. He liked it when Pen laughed. She looked so pretty when she’s smiling.
“Can we visit the kitchen after you read?” he felt his stomach grumbling.
“We’ll share eclairs again?” she said happily.
“Of course, we are…”
“You can have the bigger piece,” she said teasingly.
“Pen!” he pouted.
“You’re always hungry.”
They laughed together and then he said, “that is true.”
“Colin! Penelope! Cook sent cookies, come and get it!” he heard his father’s voice.
“Yay! Cookies!”
“We’ll still ask Cook for eclairs though,” he mumbled.
“Of course, we are,” she giggled, and he laughed too. It was so easy being with Penelope because they got along so well. She was the best little sister ever, the prettiest, the funniest, and the cutest.
“Col?” Penelope’s voice brought him out of his reverie.
“Can we talk after? I’d like to you know, discuss about how I can share my you know, for household needs… like for the future as well and other things,” she offered.
“Oh… Are you sure?”
“I think it is fair.”
“Alright, we’ll talk in my study. Is that okay?”
“Yes, that should be great.”
Before he could ask her something else, the door in the dining room opened and in walked Dunwoody carrying a very fancy looking invitation. They both looked at the butler with curious eyes.
“Mr. Bridgerton, Mrs. Bridgerton, this came from your sister, the Duchess of Hastings… It’s an invitation of sorts,” Dunwoody handed the invite to him.
Colin eagerly accepted the invite because it was from his sister. He always shared a special bond with Daphne since they were closest in age. Also, she was his much quieter and reserved sister. Not as quiet as Fran but also not as loud as El. Daphne was just in between.
He caressed the golden embossed designs that bordered the invite. It was decorated with clowns, ribbons, bells, and other bright things that’s seen in carnivals. He loved carnivals; it was such a happy place.
Cirque de Joie, he traced the elegant bold script that seemed to be written in fancy red ink. There was a drama mask carefully drawn in the background. The invite was very intriguing. Enticing you to attend.
Dearest Colin,
I am inviting you and Penelope to come join us to watch this show coming to London in six weeks. I bought tickets in advance because you know how big our brood is. The children are thrilled.
Hoping to see you and your new wife.
All my love,
Daphne Basset
He eyed his wife so sat there waiting patiently. He knew Pen would love it because she was always a curious little thing. “Pen! Look!” he waved the invite in the air.
She grinned as she stood from her seat. She walked towards him and he eagerly handed her the invite. He knew she would love the intricate details and the design. After all, Penelope and Eloise did enjoy looking at paintings and extrapolating the artist’s view of the world. So, he was eager to watch her facial expressions. Her eyes had always been so captivating because it’s like a window to her intelligent and imaginative brain.
However, what happened next, he never expected it.
“Cirque de Joie! Angelique est ton nom! Rendre les gens heureux ou vous ne pouvez pas manger! S’il vous plait monsieur ne me faites pas de mal!”
And then, tears suddenly fell on his wife’s beautiful face as she massaged her forehead. He was worried. He stood from his seat and held her steady by gripping on her shoulders.
“Penelope! Are you alright?”
“Col… I have a headache. I need to sleep,” she mumbled.
Not risking that she would collapse in his presence, he bent down so he could lift her up in a bridal carry so she could sleep in his chambers. Something was most definitely not right. Penelope never mentioned that she spoke French before. It seemed that she didn’t notice either. Whatever it was, he knew it was bad. She was pleading someone… of what, he didn’t know, but he was bloody determined to find out.